The job of a horror movie audience member is to suspend disbelief. It’s imperative to enjoying the various monsters and maniacs that come forth. Sometimes that suspension of disbelief asks you to REALLY stretch. For example, sometimes we’re asked to believe that an ancient beast is woken from it’s slumber and is wreaking havoc on suburban Buffalo. Also, that beast happens to be a shark…in Buffalo. Strap in, kiddies-it’s time to discuss Snow Shark.
In 1999, a group of biologists had gone into the countryside in order to research several dead animals popping up near a small town. They never made it back. After several years, the story has resurfaced as a local man claims to have killed this beast that has come back for more. The explanation is this: An earthquake gave way to the return of a monster who lives beneath the snow. But this isn’t a Yeti or a ravenous bear…it’s a snow shark. Now that the bodies are starting to pile up again, a vengeful group of townsfolk and a baffled crypto-zoologist are out to put an end to the beast once and for all.
Well, if the premise sounds preposterous, it’s because it is preposterous. The notion of an ancient snow shark is truly absurd, but it’s that concept that keeps this story moving at a pretty good clip AND keeps the audience entertained. And let’s be honest, folks: Is it anymore insane than the steady stream of films released by the SyFy Network? Not at all! In fact, I’d consider them brethren. As are most films involving sharks, Snow Shark is derivative of JAWS, but it has its own special mark to leave. I mean this as the highest of compliments when I say it: Snow Shark is essential B-movie schlock from the school of Roger Corman. This is a silly, bloody movie.
Overall, it’s technical aesthetic is in order, short a few audio blowouts and scenes where the mixes were too low (also, being shot on a higher grade of DV would’ve lent to a cleaner look). The combination of practical effects and digital is decent, in this case the upper hand going to the practical. Still, utilizing digital effects to give the audience the full scope of the shark’s movement was a wise decision on the part of the filmmaker. The set pieces were actually utilized very well. Doubling a garage as a bar (or at least it looked that way), getting access to a town hall for a scene involving a town hall meeting all helped lend credence to the story’s effort of painting the snow shark as a small town under siege.
The films’ performances are typical. Meaning, if you’ve seen a low budge horror film, then you know what kind of performances are usually captured. Each performance is over the top bordering on ridiculous. Some of the performances did stand out, one being the gentleman who played the mayor, Robert Bozek. He handled his scenes with a solid amount of confidence. He made the mayor a believably erratic fella and I suspect knew the ins and outs of what he wanted his character to portray. Beyond that, there’s a few more performances that were decent but nothing that hasn’t been done before.
I ended up reviewing Snow Shark because our own J.D. Malinger made an appearance in it and felt too close to the project, which is generally how we handle things here at The Blood Sprayer whenever any of us is involved in a film. I was fortunate in the sense that this movie is pretty damn entertaining. It’s not a great movie. I would be lying if I said it was. But Snow Shark still delivers. It has gore, it has nudity, IT HAS A FUCKIN’ SNOW SHARK!!! Who doesn’t want that?! Line this guy up with Dino-croc, Megashark, Sharktopus, Mega Sharktopus, and Super-Duper Ultra Mega Sharktopus because this winter beast is a great bedfellow!