Lance Pollard’s Crack Whore: A Review

Lance Pollard’s Crack Whore: A Review

Lance Pollard’s Crack Whore is a classic female revenge flick ala Last House on the Left. The story goes like this. Honey is a crack whore. She bangs dudes for money and crack. Four desert scumbags pick her up, and after some drug use and dancing, rape her. She’s found by Boo, who cleans her up, does some more crack with her, and puts the idea in her head to get revenge on these guys by murdering them.

 

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Let me say first that Mr. Pollard is by no means a bad director. Watching this film gave me a new perspective on indie film. I’ll get to that a little bit later though.

 

The writing for this movie is not good. A movie I reviewed a while back (She Devils A Go Go) had some of the same problems. Now I’m no screenwriter, but I can at least tell you that I’m not entertained when a film has jokes that fall flat. They don’t fall flat because they aren’t funny. They don’t work because they’re inside jokes. They don’t make sense to anyone other than the people telling them. Naturally, you aren’t trying to make your director or actors laugh. You’re appealing to an audience, and I for one just don’t get it.

 

The acting is sub par. But Matt! It’s an indie film! Give them a break! I am. I could say that there are no likeable characters, or that they don’t convey emotions properly. But I know this is indie filmmaking. There’s nothing wrong with some poor acting.

 

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Let’s get down to the real problems. Crack Whore, to me, is a good concept. Pollard’s heart is absolutely in the right place. He wanted to make a revenge flick. A girl gets revenge on the guys who treated her like shit and left her for dead. And this would have been a great film if Pollard had decided to shoot it primarily as that. Instead, I watched six or seven psychedelic music videos spliced together with a loose story about smoking crack and the revenge of a hooker, and another story of four bumbling idiots and their quest for pussy. Now the idiots are the revengees in this story, and the music videos are the pointless segues between scenes. If we were watching six music videos, fine. If we were watching a revenge flick, fine. And if we were watching a comedy about these four guys trying to get laid, fine. But all of them mashed together just doesn’t work.

 

Usually indie films are the other way around. A brilliant script and good acting will take you a long way, but if your technical side is for shit, the movie won’t do well. Pollard knows what he’s doing. He’s got some amazing shots and his vision for scenes is near unmatched. If he just had a better script, I’d be all over his nuts like Honey on a crack rock.


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