Well, That Was Rude: 4 Mean Ass Movies…

Well, That Was Rude: 4 Mean Ass Movies…

Life is all about the happy endings, isn’t it? We’re all hoping for that moment to ascend beyond the muck & mire, to ride off into the sunset.  The road to happiness is often paved with misery, though.  That trek isn’t necessarily the most simple one to make. Sometimes, it’s downright unpleasant.  Lucky for us, we get to see the fictional version of that process a LOT in genre movies.  This concept got me thinking: What are some downright mean movies? I’m not talking about the glutton of overly gory STORYLESS shit that floods the indie market. I’m talking about movies that zero in on psychologically coarse & realistic violence.  Just unpleasant, vicious stories, perhaps to an almost unnecessary level.  Ya’ know, the good stuff!  As Jim Norton once said, “I’ll watch anything with misery in it”.  Well, here’s 4 prime cuts of mean…dig in!

classof19841. Class of 1984-When’s the last time you watched this movie?  Have you seen it since it’s blu ray release from Scream Factory? Or has it been a few years? Well, if it’s the latter, I’d implore you to give it a look.  Upon its arrival, I promptly put the disc in. It’d been a few years since I’d watch this movie.  Like, several more years than I’d thought.  Well, in that time, I’d clearly forgotten how viciously this movie plays out!  The turf war that plays out between Andy (Perry King) & the wasteland-esque punks goes down some nasty roads.  The violence displayed isn’t for the faint of heart.  Rape, assault, drugs, arson, murder…all in the name of education!!! Class of 1984 took what was a well worn territory at that point in time and blackened it with vicious disregard. The hateful battle that ensues is something that would be hard to pass in such a social justice warrior-friendly media environment nowadays, but at the time when all bets were off, this flick exploited exploitation.

 

deathwish22.  Death Wish 2-I know what you’re thinking: “It’s Death Wish. They’re all mean”.  Technically, yes, you’re right.  BUT…Death Wish 2 hits far different notes than it’s predecessor.  Ultimately, Paul’s objective remains the same-avenge the deaths of his loved ones.  But that’s just it…why do his loved ones keep dying such HORRIBLE DEATHS?!!!  The gang members in this flick inadvertently cross Paul Kersey’s path (and maintain the 80’s aesthetic of dressing like a fucking idiot), being dicks (as is the norm), but they (as we learned to expect) crossed the wrong motherfucker. What starts as a routine mugging/ice cream theft turns into a rape/kidnapping/accidental death.  This, of course, leads to Paul doing his thing: Systematically killing each and every member of the gang who did him wrong.  After the second film, we learned what would be the Death Wish formula.  The first film is considered a classic of the exploitation era.  Death Wish 2, however has a very special element to it the first one does not; it’s levels of brutality reach batshit highs. It turns the first film’s formula up a thousand notches.  A prime example would be the home invasion that leads to the Paul Kersey’s manhunt.  Paul’s daughter is spending a lovely day with he & his lady.  She’s still in shock from the previous bouts of traumatic events, so, she’s not yet speaking.  What could stunt that progress you ask? Well, how about arriving to your father’s home to find his maid raped and beaten, see your father attacked, the maid shot & killed, and then you end up kidnapped? Would that do it?  Yeaaaahhhh…it would.

 

fight_for_your_life_poster_013.  Fight For Your Life-When I discuss truly scathing exploitation films, Fight For Your Life always comes up in the conversation.  If you have a proclivity to the Christian faith, are horribly sensitive to racism, sexual assault, violence, etc., I will strongly advise you now to never watch this movie. Ever. Of the films on this list, FFYL may be the lesser known of the 4.  Short rundown: 3 prisoners make a prison break, find a way to hideout by holding a minister and his family hostage with the intentions of sleeping in their home then stealing their car to take off the next day.  In the meantime, they choose to terrorize the shit out of the family they’ve holed up with. Don’t worry, they get their’s.  But it’s a looooong road to get there. To say this film crosses the line is to assume there’s a line drawn.  There isn’t.  It’s without boundaries in its approach to presentation.  I do think the filmmakers thought they were forging some politically intriguing ground (and to a degree, they were), but mostly they cranked all the amps and hit a big ass power chord.  This film is often dismissed as being unnecessarily exploitative. That’s not wrong per say, but the film is more interesting than it’s often given credit for.  A few familiar character actor faces in early career roles & a fucking looney tunes script made for one of the most aggressive exploitation flicks of the era.  Hunt this down and get your dick blown off.

 

malepig4.  The Erotic Memoirs Of A Male Chauvinist Pig-Okay, so to really grasp the legend of this story, one has to believe the legend of Ray Hoersch.  Some of his story is so cool, it seems too good to be true. So, chances are it probably is.  If there ever was a tale ripe for bio pic, Ray’s would be it.  Since I don’t have time to divulge into all the fuckery he was involved in, I’ll focus on his first film.  Chauvinist Pig is a film that implemented all the taboos: golden showers, rape, blood, underage sex.  Granted all these things are implied, not actually occurring as it is purely a fictional film.  So, just in that aspect alone you have several EXTREMELY exploitative elements driving the central theme of an adult film. It’s fucked up…but that’s not really what makes this film mean.  The actual deviance comes in the form of the character interaction.  The film’s primary lead (played by Philadelphia actor “Paul Taylor”) is chronicling his miserable existence and relationships via a handheld tape recorder.  The character has an Ingmar Bergman quality to it, in that his attitude toward humanity is quite loathsome.  He despises these women he interacts with daily, yet, he inexplicably continues indulging the worst parts of their personalities.  The character is less of a misogynist and more of a sociopath.  The people exude an East Coast pointedness while still adding a level of contempt that David Mamet would smile at.  They’re all people worthy of your hatred.  By the film’s end, you will indeed hate them.

The movie lives up to it’s reputation of being fucked up (Al Goldstein famously called the sex in the movie “disgusting”).  This is certainly not a film for everyone.  In fact, I’d go as far as to say this movie is for no one.  But, if you do choose to watch it, be prepared for some next level crazy.  You get some of the biggest players of the East Coast adult scene at the time (Georgina Spelvin to name one!) indulging some truly unpleasant characters.  After you watch this, read up on Ray Hoersch, then take a shower.


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I'm the founder of this here site and a contributing writer. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is the foundation of who I am as a horror lover but sleaze, exploitation, Italian film, and erotica from the golden age are my areas most widely researched. This is done with a great amount of vigor. When not assaulting my mind with film, I'm with my beautiful family or cheering on my beloved Baltimore Orioles.

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