VERSUS: I Need My Nerd Porn Kinky…

VERSUS: I Need My Nerd Porn Kinky…

How can you spice up a love affair between Horror and Comics? Well by making it all nostalgia-like and just plain weird. Indulge me if you will in now combining some scary movies with some of my favorite gems from 1980-90s children’s programming. Offending your delicate sensibilities takes a back seat to introducing new and enticing ways to make one future rocking memory. It’s all about evolving while still remembering where you started from in the beginning.

You wanted a little more VERSUS, well honey, I just got my second wind…




Jayce and the Wheeled Warriors VS Little Shop of Horrors

Saw Boss has been trying to defeat Jayce and eviscerate every last human he can, but the Wheeled Warriors always seem to outwit and outfight his organic weaponry. While retreating from another losing battle, Saw Boss and his Monster Minds take refuge on the very same planet that Audrey II came from. There Saw Boss and the carnivorous plants that still remain forge an unholy alliance. Saw Boss realizes he needs stronger biology in his bio-mechanical killing machines to defeat Jayce and his Lightning League vehicles. Now, genetically altered, with this new breed of plant-life his troops are nearly unstoppable. In exchange for beefing up their weaponry, the descendants of Audrey II will be able to once again dine on the human flesh courtesy of the Wheeled Warriors. They also hold an ulterior motive as the race of blood-sucking plants want to know how Saw Boss can be a chlorophyll-based humanoid. Imagine the terror if they could evolve into human form as well. First they must take out these pesky mortals and then set their sights on an old target: Earth!

Now Jayce and his team must combat a deadly new duo and soon he discovers that the search for his missing father, Audric, is directly linked to the interstellar travels of Audrey II across the cosmos. Audrey II is connected to the two halves of the magic root Jayce shares with his father. It seems that these good guys were directly responsible for Earth’s near annihilation, but how will they stop it this time? Laser battles ensue as the fate of every surviving human in the universe hangs in the balance.

 


C.O.P.S. VS Maniac Cop

Empire City is a thriving metropolis, but in order to protect this futuristic eutopia there is a need for a special breed of police officer. At the Central Organisation of Police Specialists, government funded research has developed and produced new weapons to fight the futuristic war on crime. This includes Bulletproof and his fellow peacekeepers. Though they’ve been able to keep Big Boss and his henchmen mostly in check , a recent crime-wave has been answered with a staggering body count. Eye witnesses say that a renegade law man has declared war on Big Boss, Miss Demeanor, Buttons McBoomBoom, Rock Krusher and the rest of the scurge of Empire City. And now innocent civilians are turning up dead as well.

The troubling realization that he is somehow connected hits Longarm as he uncovers the dirty secrets behind the C.O.P.S. research and development program. His department is responsible for producing this raging killer. Now with Big Boss on the run and his henchmen filling the morgue, Bulletproof must figure out a way to take down the killer cop who has already deep-sixed Bullseye and Mainframe. How do you uphold justice when death takes down the guilty and the innocent in the same fell swoop?


Superhuman Samurai Syber-Squad VS The Lawnmower Man

As a champion in the computer world, Sam Collins has been waging a war against the Mega Virus Monsters of Kilokahn, the evil program of Artificial Intelligence. Kilokahn’s creations attack and seek to destroy the electronic infrastructure of our computer regulated world. Using the creature designs from Malcolm Frink, it’s an ongoing battle with Sam and the help of his friends to keep cyberspace safe and our world in balance.

Kilokahn is approached to join forces by the digitized Jobe Smith. Kilokahn is led to believe his failures are attributed to the unknown calculations of the human mind and offers to integrate his persona with Kilokahn. As Jobe’s mind melds with the circuitry of Kilokahn’s programmed intentions, he soon learns of Kilokahn’s deal with young Malcolm Frink. If Kilokahn can bring his Virus Monsters into the real world, there must be a way for Jobe to escape, and he has designs on doing so into Malcolm’s body.

The Monsters soon become more ruthless and destructive in their attacks, targeting military communications and the systems that regulate our daily lives. Jobe has finally found a way to strike back at the physical world that has banished him to a digital prison. Jobe begins altering the Mega Viruses to build himself an ultimate champion of revenge, one that Sam and his friends have never seen before.  Jobe’s reach into the physical world is felt as he manipulates the lives of Sam and the rest of Syber-Squad by toying with them through social media and all the electronic devices that rule teenage existence.

Can Servo and his friends defeat the combined might of Kilokahn’s creations coupled with Jobe’s prowess for world domination?

 


Silver Hawks VS Event Horizon

Though the physical being of Dr. Weir has been destroyed, the evil that travelled light years beyond our galaxies to possess him is far from vanquished. Travelling back through time, the starship Event Horizon opens a blackhole into the Galaxy of Limbo. The same distress call that lured the Lewis and Clark to their doom is heeded by Comdr. Stargazer at Hawk Haven, the base of operations for the Silver Hawks. He dispatches Quicksilver, Bluegrass and the rest of the squad at once. They race to intercept the survivors before Mon*Star and his crew of villains commandeer the ship as a new weapon for their criminal enterprise.

At first Quicksilver is thrown off that there are no signs of survivors. The Copper Kid is unable to deliver any mathematical explanation of where this ship came from or how it got there. Soon their rescue party is crashed by Mon*Star and his hoodlums. An epic battle rages between all with Hardware and Mumbo Jumbo leading the charge. The ship reacts to the impending destruction from this chaos by sealing all those inside.

Cornered, trapped, and running out of air, Mon*Star and his minions are forced to join ranks with the SilverHawks to escape their doom. The ghost of Dr. Weir begins to manifest himself and pick of members of each team, one by bloody one. The haunting entity strikes down Steelheart, and her empathically connected twin, Steelwill, falls in battle as well. Their steel plated armor can’t withstand the horrors of their minds. Mon*Star is made to pay for all the pain and suffering he and his comrades have inflicted ten fold.  Ultimately, Quicksilver must find a way to close the blackhole to the Galaxy of Limbo before the rest of Hell is unleashed on the surrounding planets and star systems. Being true in heart and razor tipped, how does a SilverHawk fight the epitome of evil? Can Cmdr. Stargazer come to their aid in time?


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Born in the steel scrap-yards of Lorain, Ohio, Zach Shildwachter is a VHS Vagabond wandering the Cleveland landscape in search of the perfect Horror movie and Banana flavored snacks in preparation for the Zombie Apocalypse. Until the Dead walk, our Hero remains an Aspiring Filmmaker, Compulsive Writer, Self-taught Artist, and amateur Super-Hero.

3 Responses to “VERSUS: I Need My Nerd Porn Kinky…”

  1. How about Galaxy High vs. Return to Horror High? or Monchichis vs. Fluffy from the Crate.
    Or Casey Jones from TMNT vs. Jason Voorhees.

  2. Thanks for the suggestions Doctor. I featured Jason in another VERSUS article and discussed the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in my LET IT BLEED series. Be sure to check those out.

    I try not to repeat myself with such iconic characters. Half the fun is thinking of new ideas for forgotten favorites or those underappreciated. Thanks for reading!

  3. how about g.i. joe vs. neon maniacs?

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