Where do I begin with a review for a movie titled Skin Eating Jungle Vampires? Let’s start with the basics- a title breakdown; “skin eating”- not included. Yes, a “jungle” is involved, so got that one right; “Vampires”, absent. You may be asking what exactly is in this movie? Well, I’ll tell you.
The movie starts with a young, well-endowed female named Tiffany walking through the jungles of Costa Rica, when she is attacked by a group of tribal women who then begin to fondle and spank her while she just lays there and accepts it. We then get the title credits which explain the entire plot of the film. These tribal women are known as the Clitorians, a group of female aliens who are in exile on Earth for fleeing their home planet before it exploded. To try and please their Dark God, they are looking for the perfect female sacrifice.
We then cut to Tiffany’s sister, Carla, in the USA. She and her sister share a psychic bond and she can tell she is in trouble, and decides to head to Costa Rica alone to find and save her. When she gets there, she must take time to sunbathe and swim in the ocean though. It’s not like her sister’s going anywhere.
Back to our jungle babes who continue to torture Tiffany with more playful fondling and spanking. We are then treated to the true highlight of the film, actress Persephone playing the leader of the jungle babes, doing a snake dance with a live snake! The jungle babes then begin to rub each other with bloody body parts, which then turns into a little lesbian play. Finally, Carla finds her sister, and the ludicrous finale ensues.
The proper title really should’ve been Lesbian Jungle Aliens. Or perhaps Cannibal Lesbian Jungle Aliens, even though you never see them eat anything, but they do get a fair amount of blood smeared over their mouths.
It’s hard to recommend this film, as the acting is as atrocious as the plot. There’s little dialogue, but some bad dubbing that feels more like you’re listening to the character’s thoughts. Lots of what looks like stock footage of random wild animals, and people canoeing to help fill in the 80 minute run time. Perhaps this would’ve made a better 20 minute short film as it wouldn’t have drug along so bad. Perhaps I should’ve either been in a room of like-minded individuals to help see the hilarity, or been highly intoxicated.
Distributed by Chemical Burn, this sexploitation flick is not one I can recommend. On the plus side my wife did stay up to catch the exciting finale! That’s gotta count for something, right?