As we barrel into the new year, the indie releases are starting to surface, landing on folks’ doorsteps. While we all await the 5+ hour Lars Von Trier pervert epic Nymphomaniac, it will have to be the normal run time, mostly boner-less movies that tide us over. With that in mind, The Blood Sprayer has seen a few that may tickle your pickle in this pre-Nymphomaniac time of your life. Let the action begin!!!
Scorned (Anchor Bay Films)-Remember watching all of those shitty post-Fatal Attraction flicks that used to run on Skinemax? They usually starred Shannon Tweed or the gorgeous Shannon Whirry (Thanks to Mike McBeardo McPadden on the assist in remembering Miss Whirry’s name. His book Heavy Metal Movies coming to a retailer near you…pick it up!!!-Ed.) and they involved a revenge plot, murder, and lots of simulated sex. Well, then you’re inadvertently familiar with Scorned. It stars AnnaLynne McCord as Sadie, a woman who’s recently discovered that her boyfriend Kevin (the apparently immortal Billy Zane) is having an affair with her best friend (played by Viva Bianca of Spartacus). Sadie sets a trap and catches them in their own web of lies. What ensues is a bloody, sexy pile of guilty pleasures.
I’m not here to present you with a Cannes Juror’s Selection, cuz’ Scorned ain’t that. Scorned is as I stated, a guilty pleasure. It’s wildly overacted (as one would expect) but that lends to the bawdiness of the whole concept. It’s a fucking sex revenge movie, for chrissakes!!! You can’t be subtle with these things!!! There’s lots of entertaining violence and cockteasing to entice you into staying for all 80 minutes. AnnaLynne McCord turns out another stellar “crazy lady” performance and at this point can do no wrong in my book. Excision sold me on her and while this isn’t nearly as good of a movie as Excision, she’s really good in it. Her performance could have been phoned in, but it wasn’t. That took this movie from eye roller to something to chuckle at. If you are nostalgic for the Shannon Whirry days, Scorned will satisfy that craving, just with a lot more violence attached. **Scorned is available now via DVD/Blu-Ray from Anchor Bay Films**
Sorority Party Massacre (Anchor Bay Films)-Guys…don’t make me explain it. Pleeeeeease?!!!! C’mon!! You can read the title! You already KNOW what it’s about!! Ugh…fine. You’ve got a an entire town full of hot sorority sisters who are being terrorized by a violent lunatic killer who’s bloodlust is solely attached to those young ladies who choose to “Go Greek”. Fortunately, a misplaced city detective (multi-faceted veteran Tom Downey) has ended up in the podunk town and only he can help capture this cretin…but how many sisters have to die before it’s all said and done?
Are you happy now? See what you made me do? Was that really necessary? Of course it wasn’t. The title is by no means cryptic and that’s perfectly fine. It gives you a proper starting point, at least. Look…it has Ron Jeremy, Kevin Sorbo, Leslie Easterbrook, and Richard Moll in it. It has a bunch of actresses you’ve never heard of/never will hear of unless it’s a movie like this. But that’s cool. They’ll show up in this sorta shit for the the next 10 years. Because stuff like this will keep coming out. It’s stock & trade. Dumb, mindless entertainment…something we could all use in our lives. Don’t consider this a call to not see it! Consider this a reminder that anything with “Sorority” and “Massacre” in the title tends to be a good time…this one is. **Sorority Pary Massacre is available today on DVD courtesy of Anchor Bay Films**
I HEART U (Camp Motion Pictures)-What do you do when your marriage begins to become…bland? How do you spice up your life? Well, if you’re Walter (played by the criminally underrated Billy Garberina…and that’s not nepotism on my part. He’s a gem in the indie acting world that needs utilized more!), the way to keep yourself moving is to kill prostitutes. Your dirty little secret is vicious acts of violence. Not for everyone, but hey-it works for ol’ Walt. Walt’s “hobby” ends up in jeopardy when another killer shows their abilities to the world at the same time Walter is flexing his muscles. Deemed “The Sweetheart Killer” by authorities, this new killer is now a threat to what could be Walter’s legacy. Walter knows he’s left with only one option-find this killer and put them out. Well, let’s suppose that killer is a little closer to home than he’d originally thought. Competition can be a killer and someone…or a lot of someone’s…have to lose. Will it be Walter or his marriage?
This one is the gem of these releases featured in this article. This black horror comedy is a low budget stroke of genius. Billy Garberina and his co-star, the AMAZING Raine Brown did more than star in this movie. Garberina directed it and Brown is one of the film’s producers. This film ends up more than just a labor of love but a true artistic investment for both parties. Their performances reflect that. To avoid spoilers, I will tell you this: Brown’s performance captures the subtle nuances of a purpose-driven career woman/homemaker with something to hide. She’s so clean cut that one can’t help but think that she’s crazy. Garberina’s portrayal of Walter is goddamn bliss. It finds it’s place on that Walter White meets Henry: Portrait of A Serial Killer planet, if that exists. But it’s charming and funny. Brown and Garberina play off one another masterfully. Their manic characters have these moments of uncomfortable domestic blandness that build some great tension for the audience. When the reveals hit, you’re pulled in hard. I Heart U is funny, gory, and all things in between. Consider this one coming with The Blood Sprayer Stamp of Approval!!! **I Heart U is available today on DVD from Camp Motion Pictures**
Reel Zombies (Synapse Films)-Indie filmmaking is fucking thankless work. It’s reserved for those who are willing to go all the way in order to get their art out to the world. For Mike Masters & David Francis, they’re on film number three. They’re drawing their Zombie Night trilogy to a conclusion. There’s been an unforseen road block, however. It appears the ACTUAL zombie apocalypse has broken out. Being the ever flexible auteurs they are, the fellas decide to move the flick into a real world narrative…what ensues are the heinous results of a real world blood bath, all captured in the name of art.
Seriously, this movie rules. Zombie movies do not have to be old hat. The team of Masters & Francis (who play themselves, obviously) take a mockumentary (awful word) and make it into a brilliantly constructed discussion on the process of filmmaking. The story their telling is essentially their own. It’s the story of their peers. It’s a story we tell on this website a lot. It makes this story a very personal one. Utilizing the many trappings of the zombie genre, Masters & Francis laugh at themselves and the genre in general. The thing about Reel Zombies that sets it apart is that beneath the gore, jokes, and chaos you can find a very earnest declaration by a pair of talented storytellers. You think you’ve heard this story all before, but you haven’t. When Synapse releases a movie, it’s a decision proven to not be taken lightly. Reel Zombies keeps that tradition alive. The effects are good, the rest of the the cast suits the material excellently, and overall some very worn territory gets a refreshing makeover. These are guys I’m ready to see more of. Another stellar release comes from Synapse and, once again, I’m turned onto a new filmmaking team. **Reel Zombies is available today on DVD from those cool cats to the north of The Blood Sprayer compound named Synapse Films**
There ya’ go, kiddos!!! Some sleaze hot off the presses. As always, SUPPORT INDEPENDENT HORROR!!!!
Accompanying music to this article, i.e. what I was listening to while writing:
The Dogs D’Amour-More Uncharted Heights
Red Dragon Cartel-S/T
Grand Magus-Triumph And Power