An Open Letter Of Affection To Chris LaMartina…

An Open Letter Of Affection To Chris LaMartina…

WNUFI hope this isn’t weird for you.  I’ve been wracking my brain trying to figure out the right words to convey my affection for WNUF Halloween Special for quite some time and just haven’t been able to.  As I sit and pontificate, a shitload of major media outlets have given the movie glowing reviews…and rightfully so!  It’s incredible.  You guys were nice enough to send me a V/H/S copy early on and when I asked for a copy on disc so my wife and son could see it, you willingly obliged.  And yet, here I sit, no review written for it.  I’m passed by by everyone from NPR to MTV.  Truthfully, this shouldn’t really bother me.  Let’s be honest, Chris, as a small time website I can do little to nothing for your film because it already does so much for itself.  But I want to so badly…and that brings us to the reason I’m writing this as a letter.  In that sentiment is how it finally dawned on me just how The Blood Sprayer could contribute to the further exposure of WNUF Halloween Special-by gushing like the unabashed fan that I am. Do you remember how long it took me to convince you to send me copies of your movies so I could write a piece on them?  It took a long time!  I’d seen a few of your shorts on the Faces of Schlock compilations. There was one that I’d particularly liked, so as any good creep does, I stalked you out on Facebook.  That wasn’t hard to do.  We had tons of mutual homies in the way of Chris Seaver, Henrique Couto, etc. so I knew you weren’t too far off.  You were leery of the idea of sending out material that you were already busting your balls trying to sell.  I understood.  I was bummed, but I understood. I mean, who was I?  Just some dickhead with a blog!  It made complete sense to me.  Through social media, I kept tabs on the projects you had in the works (President’s Day and Witch’s Brew, respectively).  Another year had gone by and I thought to myself “Fuck it…I’m gonna bug that dude until he says yes!”.  Turns out that plan worked!  In retrospect, I could’ve just bought the flicks instead of being the asshole waving the name of his website in your face, hoping you’d give a shit.  Regardless, you sent me a big package (hehe…big package) of your work. I spent an entire day watching every single flick you’d sent me.  All of them. And I loved every single one of them.  Truthfully, I had no doubt I would, but what a great feeling to know all of your assumptions were correct!  I wrote an article detailing my love for your work and it was pretty much over from there.  I’d moved beyond the phase of favorable review writer and headlong into completely biased opinion-havin’ hardcore Midnight Crew fan.  We’ve had tons of great interactions ever since then.  While we’ve yet to meet in person (that will perhaps change at a future Cinema Wasteland), you’ve been nothing but cool to me and to The Blood Sprayer.  Further proof that throwing support behind indie filmmakers such as yourself is the very reason I continue paying for site hosting and bandwidth bills on this thing.  You and your aforementioned peers are vital to what we do.  I’m grateful to know that you trust us with your films and that you value our opinion. That brings us full circle to the present.  There’s not much I can say about WNUF Halloween Special that hasn’t already been said (and said better, no doubt!).  I can tell you that it’s going to become required Halloween viewing for a lot of people.  I figure my son will watch this with his buddies.  It’s a really special movie and a prime example of what you and Jimmy George are capable of.  Like all the rest of your fans, I’m eagerly awaiting The Call Girl of Cthulhu.  As a fan, I feel a sense of pride every time I read a favorable review of WNUF or see someone saying how much they loved it.  Though I’ve contributed nothing to the success or furtherment of your career, I’m proud I’ve been able to watch it excel to the place it’s gotten to.  It’s been an honor and a privilege thus far, and will continue to be so. So yeah…like I said, I hope this isn’t weird for you.  I’m a bit of a sentimental sap and when I see people I like and respect achieving great things, I’m really moved.  Maybe that’s why I was writing…and erasing…every review I attempted of WNUF Halloween Special.  My feelings for it (as well as the rest of your work) are bigger than any review I was going to write.  Instead, I’d rather stand back and look at the fact that you’re en route to some huge things happening.  In my opinion (and several others), you’ve made the next great Halloween horror film.  You’ve made the movie that kids will show their friends, in the dark, at sleepovers.  They will argue that so & so’s older brother “knows it was real cuz’ he Googled  the victims  and they for real died!”…and that, sir, is fucking awesome.  You’ve created the next great urban legend!  You will be to my son what Cannibal Holocaust and Faces of Death were to us. I don’t know my ass from a hole in the ground, but I do know one thing for certain:  There are some major things coming for you, my man.  It’s not just enclosed horror movie circles discussing your movies, it’s LOADS of people!  John Waters was right-you guys are gonna get a deal very soon.  That’s not a far-fetched concept and I certainly hope you guys don’t see it that way.  Your fans don’t.  We know it’s coming.  We know that one of the good guys is about to get his time in the sun; one of “our guys”, for whatever it’s worth.  I view that as pretty special. Anyway, I’ve been rambling on and on.  Congratulations on all the success and on the continued success of WNUF Halloween Special. I hope you have a great Halloween, man.  I’ll see you in Baltimore soon enough!  Hold on…that sounded insane.  I’ll let you know when I’m in Baltimore and we can hang!  There, that’s better…I’m not crazy. Seriously. Regards, Wes   (p.s. Since I made this a public letter, I want to address our readers and tell you all to check out WNUF Halloween Special as soon as humanly possible!  It’s one of the best horror films of 2013, hands down!)


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I'm the founder of this here site and a contributing writer. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is the foundation of who I am as a horror lover but sleaze, exploitation, Italian film, and erotica from the golden age are my areas most widely researched. This is done with a great amount of vigor. When not assaulting my mind with film, I'm with my beautiful family or cheering on my beloved Baltimore Orioles.

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