Oh boy, did it take me awhile to decide whether or not I hated this movie. And you know what the bitch of it is? I still don’t know! I mean, on one hand it has everything going for it: Great title, great poster art, silly premise that could only lead to chaos. But then there are the flaws: Tired concepts, lack of acting ability on the part of the cast, characters that are as cliched and predictable as the sun setting. What’s an overly analytical horror geek to do? Well, I did the only thing I could think to do and that’s just to put what feelings I’m feeling about the film out there, and maybe by the end of this review, I’ll have my answer.
Premise is about as subtle as a herpes outbreak: A group of teens head off to a beautiful house in the woods (and I do mean beautiful. These guys get a real break on getting to use this home as their main set piece.) to get fucked up and, well, do some fucking. Unfortunately, this impossibly good looking bunch didn’t account for Big Stevie wanting to show up and join the fun. It just so happens, his version of “fun” is killing off horny, snobbish coeds because he can’t get a hard-on any longer. After tearing his way through the sordid lot, he finds himself squared off with Aggie and shit looks to be getting bad for the Agster…
Okay, so I don’t want to give the ending away, but I have to tell you that the ending had me at first, scratching my head then with one quick burst saying, “HA! What the hell was that all about?!”. It’s a real ass backwards come down from the final standoff, only we are in for one more roar from the lion before the credits roll. The killing starts relatively fast (within the first act) and carries on at a decent pace. But it also seems oddly spaced out as well. I found myself watching, feeling like it was too quiet and just when I thought it was going to pick up, it went at an angular direction that didn’t seem very cohesive to me. Some of the kills were really fun to watch and kind of well planned out but again, the back side of the third act will leave you wondering what the hell happened.
Not all is a disaster. The only redeemable character in the movie, Aggie, is well played by Christine Haeberman. She takes on the roll of the only normal/rational girl in the group very well and you find yourself rooting for her at the end. Allen Andrews, who plays Big Stevie, was the major sore spot, for me, in MLKT. Whether it was the direction he was given to do so, I’ll never know, but his “understated” performance (using the term loosely) was flat, boring, and not really a performance at all. He comes off as very stiff and his physical approach to the action was sooo acted that you knew damn well that it was a methodically planned kill scene and didn’t feel an ounce of reality was there. As I had stated earlier, the house the film was shot in was immaculate and the cinematographer did a really good job of weaving in and out of the many rooms and hallways that occupy the house. There were a couple shots of movement with the camera in a handheld mode that reminded me of some of those fast-paced shots in The Evil Dead.
Well, I’ve reached the end, and am still not sure how I feel. As I was writing, it become apparent that I had more bad to say than good but it’s not a total wash, I guess…sorta. I don’t know. There are worse movies that I’ve seen (example: Halloween II had lots of money and the worst script in history) and I’m certain that there are movies that will come across my desk this year that I will despise. I think the thing that will hurt MLKT in the long run is that it’s forgettable. In the vast pantheon of slasher movies, will this be one that holds up to the test of time? No, not at all. But then again, with a title like that, I don’t think they were looking to pull any punches. No curveballs were thrown and maybe there should’ve been. Excluding the “sexual issues” of Big Stevie, not much to be found that hasn’t been done. Again, I love the title and the poster had me quite hopeful, but at the end of the day Murder Loves Killers Too is forgettable. Hey, I just figured out how I feel about it! Yahoo!!!