Meet Scribblenauts. Scribblenauts is NOT a horror game. Scribblenauts is easiest described as a puzzle game. Released in late 2009 for the Nintendo DS, the goal in Scribblenauts is to collect “Starites.” This goal is achieved by the ability of the player to summon almost any noun into existence by typing it on the touchscreen. These objects appear in the game and are then used by the player to reach the “Starites.” So, why are you reading about this cute little game on The Blood Sprayer? Well, it is because of the game’s title screen. See, on the title screen, you can summon multiple words into existence at the same time. Some words can be combative when they are on the same screen with other words. In the right hands, Scribblenauts can be a death-match simulator, bringing to life some of the classic “who-would-win” fights that horror nerds have argued over for decades. Summon two classic movie monsters and you get to sit back and watch them duke it out. So without further or do, I present to you, dear reader, “The Blood Sprayer’s Scribblenauts Battle Royale!”
Let’s meet the contestants (and their “official” Wiki entries):
Zombie: A zombie is a creature that appears in books and popular culture typically as a reanimated dead or a mindless human being.
Vampire: Vampires are mythological or folkloric beings who subsist by feeding on the life essence (generally in the form of blood) of living creatures, regardless of whether they are undead or a living person.
Mummy: A mummy is a corpse whose skin and organs have been preserved by either intentional or incidental exposure to chemicals, extreme coldness, very low humidity, or lack of air when bodies are submerged in bogs.
Werewolf:A werewolf or werewolf, also known as a lycanthrope (from the Greek λυκάνθρωπος: λύκος, lukos, “wolf”, and άνθρωπος, anthrōpos, man), is a mythological or folkloric human with the ability to shapeshift into a wolf.
Serial Killer: A serial killer is a person who murders three or more people over a period of more than thirty days, with a “cooling off” period between each murder, and whose motivation for killing is largely based on psychological gratification.
Cannibal: A human engaged in cannibalism, i.e., eating flesh of other humans.
Ghoul: A ghoul is a folkloric monster associated with graveyards and consuming human flesh, often classified as undead.
Demon:In religion and mythology, occultism and folklore, a demon (or daemon, daimon; from Greek δαίμων daimôn) is a supernatural being that is generally described as a malevolent spirit.
Cthulhu:Cthulhu is a fictional cosmic entity created by horror author H. P. Lovecraft in 1926. The first appearance of the entity was in the short story “The Call of Cthulhu” published in Weird Tales in 1928.
Chupacabra:The chupacabras (Spanish pronunciation: [tʃupaˈkaβɾas], from chupar “to suck” and cabra “goat”, literally “goat sucker”), is a legendary cryptid (a creature whose existence has been suggested but is regarded as highly unlikely) rumored to inhabit parts of the Americas.
Yeti:The Yeti or Abominable Snowman is a mythological creature and an ape-like cryptid said to inhabit the Himalayan region of Nepal and Tibet. The Yeti or Abominable Snowman is a mythological creature and an ape-like cryptid said to inhabit the Himalayan region of Nepal and Tibet.
Bigfoot: Bigfoot, also known as Sasquatch, is purportedly an ape-like creature that inhabits forests, mainly in the Pacific Northwest region of North America.
The Jersey Devil: The Jersey Devil, sometimes called the Leeds Devil, is a legendary creature or cryptid said to inhabit the Pine Barrens in southern New Jersey.
Mothman:The Mothman is a creature reportedly seen in the Point Pleasant area of West Virginia from November 12, 1966, to December 1967. Most observers describe the Mothman as a man-sized creature with large reflective red eyes and large wings.
Loch Ness Monster:The Loch Ness Monster is a cryptid that is reputed to inhabit Loch Ness in the Scottish Highlands. The most frequent speculation is that the creature represents a line of long-surviving plesiosaurs.
Alien: An alien is defined as life that does not originate from Earth.
This tournament is set up as a single elimination, winner takes all bout. There will be four rounds, spanning the next four days (be sure to check back daily for the lucky little bastards that get to move on.) Here is the bracket:
SO……………LET”S GET READY TO RUMBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Match 1: Our first match, featuring two all time horror favorites! The zombie spots the vampire and immediately heads in his direction, arms outreached and ready for brains. The vampire has his back turned and doesn’t see the zombie at first which allows the undead corpse to strike first with a cheap blow. The vampire turns and attacks in response…a few blows traded back and forth and the vampire slays the zombie! Vampire- you are moving on to round two tomorrow!
Match 2: The mummy and the werewolf lock eyes and make a mad dash towards each other. A few jabs back and forth and the mummy is left in a pile of bandaged pieces as the werewolf howls in victory! Werewolf- you are moving on to round two tomorrow!
Match 3: So here we have one who kills for the thrill and one who kills to eat…who is gonna want it more? The serial killer (for some unexplained reason looking like a gay pissed off Roman ninja) takes no time in slicing and dicing the cannibal. Kind of surprised by this one. I really thought the cannibal would put up more of a fight considering his dinner was at stake. Oh well, lesson learned. Serial Killer- you are moving on to round two tomorrow!
Match 4: The demon is a powerful being with the gift of flight. The ghoul is a uh, being with the gift of uh, standing there. The demon is able to use this to his advantage and swoop down to destroy the ghoul with little resistance. Demon- you are moving on to round two tomorrow!
Match 5: The above picture is a little misleading. In the game, Cthulhu stands about five times taller than Chupacabra. So does the little guy even stand a chance against this monster? Hell no- what do you think this is, make believe? Lil’ Chupa is stomped with the quickness. Cthulhu- you are moving on to round two tomorrow!
Match 6: The brothas-from-anotha-motha in a fight to the death! Obviously the most evenly matched battle so far, Yeti and Bigfoot duke it out for what is the longest fight in the tournament. In the end after some mighty over-the-head blows, Yeti falls to the hands of the woodland’s beast. Bigfoot- you are moving on to round two tomorrow!
Match 7: Another evenly matched fight (at first glance.) Two flying urban legends. One from Jersey. One from West Virgina. One is known to fuck people up. One is rumored to warn of disasters. Any guesses here? Yeah, the good Samaritan goes down like a collapsing bridge. Jersey Devil- you are moving on to round two tomorrow!
Match 8: Wow. Once again- the picture lies. Loch Ness- fucking huge. Alien-not. Plus, this alien chose the “I come in peace” Ghandi school of fighting style…which gets his ass kicked with one hit from the mighty giant’s head. Game over alien. Loch Ness Monster- you are moving on to round two tomorrow!
So, here’s the wrap up of “The Blood Sprayer’s Scribblenauts Battle Royale!” Round One:
Stay tuned for tomorrow’s Round 2 and feel free to comment below. Have a favorite to take the crown? Think anyone got robbed in this first round? Let us know!