First off I want to apologize to Breaking Glass Pictures, the fine folks who released The Fields on the viewing public last week. I usually try my best to get all my reviews done prior to release day, but this one somehow slipped through the cracks and I missed it. Guess I’ve been watching too much NHL Playoffs (Go Devils!!).  I was taught better late than never, so lets get too it.

The Fields is set in rural Pennsylvania during the year 1973, when the televisions of America were littered with coverage of the Charles Manson trial.  Young Steven is extremely interested in the mass murderer, and can’t stop watching whenever possible.  On top of that, he bears witness to true life violence when he walks in on his father holding a shotgun to his mother’s head.  Thankfully nothing happens, and Steven is shipped out to his grandparents farm while mom and dad work out their problems.  While on the farm Steven is given one simple rule to follow, “Stay out of the cornfield.”  Being a former adolescent myself I know that’s easier said than done.  Before long, Steven is lost in the maize maze.  That’s when things begin to get a tad strange.  Steven begins to hear voices coming from the cornfield, the family dog mysteriously disappears, and visitors begin showing up at all hours of the night.  Who, or what is haunting this young man, and what is it gonna take to stop it?

The Fields is a very effective thriller.  It uses it’s strongest assets, the setting and cast, to full advantage.  There aren’t too many places that can make a person feel more isolated than being in the middle of a cornfield, and directors Tom Materra and David Mazzoni use their locations perfectly.  Along the same lines, the farmhouse and the dairy where Steven and his grandfather visit also feel like they were pulled directly out of 1973.

Like I mentioned above, the cast in The Fields is as close to perfection as you will get, especially for an independently produced picture.  Cloris Leachman and Bev Appleton as the grandparents are absolutely phenomenal.  Cloris was the spot on tough love grandmother.  As usual she was a tad on the vulgar side to add a little needed comedy to the movie, but you could really feel her love for the young boy.  Add in the fact that she shared her love for scary movies with the boy (they are shown watching both Night of the Living Dead and Carnival of Souls) and I am a little envious that she wasn’t my grandmother.  On the flip side you have Bev the grandfather and he’s as sweet on the boy as can be.  He just oozed love for the child, especially when things start to pick up and he goes into protection mode.  Fantastic casting!

I also wanna give young Joshua Ormond some credit as well for playing Steven.  He is an unknown actor, but did a great job as well.  For you Tara Reid fans, she does receive top billing on the movie, but is only here to bookend the movie.  I’m not saying she does a bad job (she’s actually quite believable as Steven’s mother) but don’t rush out to buy it just for her.  You may be slightly disappointed.

The only real issue I had with The Fields was the finale.  The entire movie was a slow paced thriller building the suspense, but everything seemed to wrap up within mere minutes.  I was a bit underwhelmed when all was said and done.  That’s not to say that there aren’t others who will disagree.  On a side note, the movie is based on a true story so perhaps that’s just the way it all came to a halt.  If so, I can’t fault the producers for trying to keep it accurate.  As a viewer I was dissatisfied.

If you haven’t been giving Breaking Glass Pictures any attention lately, perhaps now is the time.  Just about everything they’ve been releasing has been above average or better, and when you’re looking at low budget movies thats all you can ask for.  I can’t help but look forward to what is next, as I am rarely disappointed in what I am about to watch.  The Fields, while not the perfect movie, was no exception as it was a creepy thriller right up to the ending.

I’m fresh from the midnight showing of The Avengers and…well, that’s not true exactly.  I’ve been home for around an hour and a half now, trying to figure out how to distill what I just saw into words; I’m still processing, going over scenes in my head, and generally just trying to take it all in.  I’ll make no apologies for coming across like an overenthusiastic fanboy in this review, because right now that’s exactly what I am.  A lifelong superhero fanboy who has finally, after a handful of great movies and a whole lot of bad ones, gotten exactly what he’s always wanted.

Comic books are a pretty solid investment for movie studios these days.  The characters are all right there, along with decades worth of stories for the plucking.  Comics and film are very different media though, I think more so than most of Hollywood realizes, and so a successful translation is a pretty risky proposition.  That hardly seems to matter sometimes though.  Even the worst ones generally make enough money to merit a sequel, such as Ghost Rider or Fantastic Four, and even if a studio runs a successful franchise into the ground it can always reboot in a couple years, like with the upcoming Amazing Spider-Man.  Thankfully Marvel (either through gifted foresight or extreme luck) retained the film rights to their core Avengers characters, and despite a couple middle of the road moments they have been consistently knocking it out of the park with the adaptations thereof.  Even with those successes however, everything had a real chance to crumble with The Avengers.  Superhero team-up films have been made before, but as seen in Fox’s Wolverine and Friends trilogy, giving adequate weight and screentime to a bunch of characters at once is no joke.

Remember when everyone thought you couldn't just put a guy onscreen in a comic book accurate costume? Take notes, next guy to direct a Batman movie!

Luckily this enormous and delicate project was left in the capable hands of Joss Whedon, who not only understands comics and what makes them good, but also how to make great use of the talented ensemble cast he inherited.  Even when sharing the screen, every character shines as much if not more than they did in their solo outings.  Chris Hemsworth finally gets to bring some proper thunder god action to the table as Thor, and Chris Evans manages Captain America’s sudden transition from the 1940′s to the 21st century brilliantly.  Robert Downey Jr.’s portrayal of Iron Man is pitch perfect as always, and may have had the most potential to overwhelm the other characters, but this never happens.  Everyone in here is allowed ample time to just be great.

And seriously, Sam Jackson was born for this. Legitimately one of his best roles ever in my opinion.

I could go on, but suffice it to say all the characters are great.  There’s not a bad casting choice or a poorly written or unnecessary part in the lot.  What surprised me in particular though was how much I enjoyed Mark Ruffalo’s portrayal of Bruce Banner and the way The Hulk was treated in general.  We’re on actor number three for this character in under ten years, and while everything about Ang Lee’s 2003 Hulk can be discarded, I really quite liked Edward Norton’s portrayal of Dr. Banner in the more recent Marvel Studios reboot.  He was the best thing about an otherwise middle of the road action movie, and I was sad when he was immediately replaced by Mark Ruffalo way back when all this Avengers talk first began.  Turns out I had nothing to worry about; Ruffalo did a great job and stepped into Bruce Banner’s shoes like he’d always been there.  Even better, the CGI Hulk got an impressive new overhaul for this outing, and I would say that with attempt number three they’ve finally nailed it.  Just look at this guy: pure, just stepped out of a comic book Incredible Hulk perfection.  None of this goes to waste either, there are a shocking amount of great Hulk moments.  Good to finally see the character getting some proper treatment.

HULK STRONGEST AND MOST CONTEMPLATIVE THERE IS!

As for villains, there are some aliens.  The Chitauri, to be precise.  They look cool and their invasion is sufficiently threatening, but they’re there mostly to give six superheros something to beat up on all at once.  The real draw is Thor’s half brother Loki, played once again by the awesome Tom Hiddleston, who in my opinion does an even better job with the character here than he did in Thor.  You can feel the ever-increasing madness and resentment emanating from him every moment he’s on screen, regardless of whether he’s speaking at the moment or not.  Even in the comics I’ve never taken Loki very seriously as a character anywhere outside his native Asgard, but he’s pure villainous gold in this film, easily one of the best I’ve seen in a comic book adaptation.

Again. Costumes that look like the comics are AWESOME. Other movies, DO THIS.

The script here is as impressive as the casting, taking plot points from the individual characters’ lead-in exploits and weaving them together seamlessly, even taking the care to keep tabs on many supporting characters from those films.  One thing that can sometimes spell death for a comic book movie’s pacing and runtime is the dreaded origin story, and it’s refreshing to not have to deal with that this time around.  Most of the principal cast has been set up already, and the blanks are pretty quickly filled in on the others.  This was definitely a movie with a lot of things to get to, and even at 144 minutes it moves along at a consistently brisk pace.  Any exposition is usually delivered on the go, which was refreshing and appreciated as a fairly knowledgeable fan.  Comic book enthusiasts will finally get to experience a living, breathing Marvel Universe on film, and at the same time I don’t think there’s anything here that would leave a casual audience lost.

The Avengers is a summer blockbuster in the best and grandest sense of the word.  It is a movie that will barely register on the Academy’s radar if at all, but one that’s no less than perfect at what it sets out to do.  Remember back when the summer blockbuster season regularly produced good films that went on to stand as pinnacles of their genre?  Movies like Jaws, Terminator 2, or Raiders of the Lost Ark?  For comic book fans, this is one of those movies.  While you can make good arguments for Christopher Nolan’s Batman films and they are undeniably great on their own merits, I am comfortable calling The Avengers the new high water mark of comic book adaptations.  It is the best and most pure example of live action superheros to date, and is absolutely the one that other studios need to take note of and aspire to reach from here on out.  Go see it.  Go see it right now.

Oh, and force your date to sit through the first few minutes of the credits with you.  Worth your time.  Trust me.

I don’t have to tell you what’s happening tonight at midnight because we’re all more than aware of it.  The Avengers is bound to be a record breaking juggernaut that will play for the next several months on screens all across the planet.  If you’re feeling as if you’re much too excited about it, don’t…because you certainly should be!  The Avengers is going to be one the pinnacle moments in geek culture.  The culmination of several years, several films, and several million dollars has lead to this awesome event about to take place.  It’s a pretty exciting thing to have happen  in our generation.

Now, normally, we don’t delve too far into this area of town because The Blood Sprayer generally sticks to the perversions of the past and weirdness of the present/future.  I’m assuming our resident comic book warrior, Ryan, will be sharing his thoughts on the film but as stated previously, we haven’t ventured too far into that area. But, we still LOVE these movies.  So, I guess this begs the question:  Why the hell am I bothering to bring it up?  Well, because I think The Avengers is a part of a bigger thing…

In our lifetime, we’ve seen some fantastic things translated to film that years ago was never thought possible.  Consider Peter Jackson’s Lord Of The Rings films, or perhaps the groundbreaking technology utilized in The Matrix films, and for that matter, how about the fact that in our lifetime we saw The Watchmen turned into a friggin’ movie?!  As a kid, did you ever actually think you’d get to see Freddy vs. Jason become a reality? I sure as hell didn’t.  Also, regardless of opinion, The Transformers movies did the same for lots of people.  That’s pretty incredible stuff!  2 of those aforementioned films were based on books (yes, The Watchmen counts) that seemed like a pipe dream when I was a kid, in terms of, making the movie crossover-but it HAPPENED.  Now, we’re going to follow up a string of  awesome comic book-inspired films with the mother of them all: The Avengers.  In doing so, it’s helping cement our generation’s legacy in the history of  big movies.  Pretty damn cool, huh?  THAT’S where it all becomes a part of “The Big Picture”-evoking the spirit of filmgoers.   The same spirit evoked by Walt Disney, Roger Corman, Steven Spielberg, hell, even Ed Wood is the same spirit that will make The Avengers the thrill it’s going to be.  That spirit keeps us young.  It keeps us engrossed.  We don’t want to ever lose that because when we do, the shitty hip-hop star/socialite couples win.  For 2 hours, those wretched pop culture dick warts do not get the spotlight.  Your imagination does.  And it fucking deserves it.

Though I won’t be there tonight at midnight with my anticipatory, nostalgic brethren (We have our tickets for Saturday so we can attend as a family), know that I and the rest of The Blood Sprayers are as excited about this movie (or at least what it represents) as you.  As I said earlier, it’s not necessarily our area of expertise to cover but we still LOVE being a part of this world with all of you.  Seeing the comic books and toys you loved as a child come to life is captivating.  Like I said, it’s keeping us young.  These are the types of events that allow us to create memories.  Whether it’s you going with all your friends or in my case, a father taking his son, movies are our imagination realized.  Fortunately for us, it’s on this large of a scale that the entire world gets to take part in it.

Monsters, Superheroes, Aliens, Zombies, Robots, Mythological Deities, whatever the case…they’re all pieces of our hearts and brains that continually drive us to keep going and paying hard earned money for the experience.  Please keep indulging in that experience.  Lie all the shitty aspects of the real world to rest for a few hours and dissolve into it.  When I’m doing the same with my wife, son, and unborn child (yep, another Blood Sprayer is on the way!) I’ll be thinking of all of you who love the unknown beings from other worlds as much as I do.

So, enjoy The Avengers (as you did with The Cabin In The Woods last month and will do with The Dark Knight Rises very soon) this weekend.  Enjoy the memories your making taking part in a great movie moment and we’ll see you guys on the other side!

… okay, most likely to tell you about some creepy pervert drive-in film from 1974, but hey, we’ll see ya’ either way!!

Stay Filthy-

Wes

Hello again, Brothers and Sisters of the Psychotronic Video World! You know, our little corner of perversion and depravity would be a lot blander without the subject of today’s tribute. I mean, this man, this god among cheese-peddlers, gave us everything that was good about the 1980s (besides THE TOXIC AVENGER and ROBOCOP), hours of joy in the form of SyFy Channel Original Movies, and such classics of modern sensuality as THE BARE WENCH PROJECT, THE BREASTFORD WIVES, and THE WITCHES OF BREASTWICK. He’s directed under the names Jay Andrews, H.R. Blueberry, Salvadore Russ, Bob Robertson, Jamie Wagner and others, but he’ll always been Jim Wynorski to me.

Our story begins in 1980.  Leaving behind him a successful, New York-based commercial business, Jim Wynorski (born August 14th, 1950 in Glen Cove, Long Island, New York) moved out to California where he found work with cinematic mogul Roger Corman.  Corman put Wynorski to work cutting trailers for coming attractions, which translated into a crash-course in filmmaking.

In 1985, Wynorski was given his first opportunity to direct: THE LOST EMPIRE.  Since he was not sure if he’d ever get the opportunity to make another film, he decided to cram EVERYTHING into this film: Hot chicks with big tits, gorillas, magic, mad science, ninjas, police shoot-outs, hot chicks with big tits, and did I mention hot chicks with big tits?

Busty women are a recurring theme in Wynorski’s body of work, I should note.  The man likes breasts.  As a breast addict myself, I can relate.

The following year, Wynorski helmed CHOPPING MALL, perhaps one of the finest films to come out of the 1980s.  Horny teenagers hide out in a mall over night to screw around, only to be attacked by the mall’s new, suddenly-malfunctioning robotic security guards.  Brilliant film, really a perfect encapsulation of the 1980s.

Much of Wynorski’s output immediately following this was sequels.  While, certainly, 1988 saw him direct the remake of NOT OF THIS EARTH, starring former-jailbat Traci Lords, 1989 saw the production of TRANSYLVANIA TWIST, and 1990 brought about HARD TO DIE and THE HAUNTING OF MORELLA, during this same period he also directed BIG BAD MAMA II, DEATHSTALKER II (the pinnacle of the Deathstalker series), THE RETURN OF SWAMP THING (the best superhero movie ever made, bar none) and SORORITY HOUSE MASSACRE II.

Throughout the 1990s, Wynorski kept churning out B-flicks, the likes of which include SORCERESS, STORM TROOPER (starring Zach “GREMLINS” Galligan), STEALTH FIGHTER (starring Ice-T), VAMPIRELLA and many more.  Call it languishing in video store obscurity, if you will, be I prefer to look at it as steady employment.

In 2000, Wynorski hit big boobed gold.  The previous year, the low-budget film THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT turned the horror world on its ear.  So, naturally, Wynorski positioned himself to take advantage of this, while also highlighting his greatest passion in life — big, jiggly tits.  Enter 2000′s THE BARE WENCH PROJECT.  This was quickly followed by THE BARE WENCH PROJECT 2: SCARED TOPLESS, THE BARE WENCH PROJECT 3: THE NYMPH OF MYSTERY MOUNTAIN, BARE WENCH PROJECT: UNCENSORED and BARE WENCH: THE FINAL CHAPTER.  Along with these, he made such films as BUSTY COPS 1 and 2, LUST CONNECTION, ALABAMA JONES AND THE BUSTY CRUSADE, THE WITCHES OF BREASTWICK I and II, THE DA VINCI COED, HOUSE ON HOOTER HILL…you get the idea.  These films feature a lot more sex then anything else (Gee, ya think?) and often feature adult actresses in “mainstream” roles.

Around the same time, Wynorski began doing Creature Features for SyFy (then called Sci-Fi) Channel, starting with GARGOYLE and CURSE OF KOMODO in 2004, both under the pseudonym Jay Andrews.  These were followed by KOMODO VS. COBRA, and most recently, CAMEL SPIDERS, PIRANHACONDA, and GILA!, a remake of the 1959 classic THE GIANT GILA MONSTER.

Concurrent with the production of THE WITCHES OF BREASTWICK, filmmaker Clay Westervelt filmed a documentary on the life and career of Jim Wynorski, called POPATOPOLIS, named after one of Wynorski’s pseudonyms.  POPATOPOLIS is simultaneously a biography of Wynorski and a production diary of THE WITCHES OF BREASTWICK, which Wynorski had chosen to film entirely in 3 days, just to see if it was possible for him to do so.  The resulting documentary is both comedic and poignant, particularly as it addresses the perceived demise of the “B-Movie” — “there are no B-movies any more, just A-movies and C-movies,” it’s lamented, and Andy Sidaris, another noteworthy B-movie auteur (and subject of a future Tribute article) interviewed for the documentary, in voicing his thoughts on Wynorski and B-movies, mourned this trend, voicing the opinion that B-movies are the films with the most vision, the most imagination, the most creativity.

I’m inclined to agree.

But anyways, this article isn’t a lamentation of the decline of B-movies, but a celebration of the life and career of Jim Wynorski, a B-movie filmmaker and boobhound that I can’t help but look up to.  Corman-trained, driven to share his love of big, bouncing pleasure-zeppelins with the world, I salute Mr. Wynorski, and wish him many happy more years behind the camera.

Until next time, Brothers and Sisters of the Psychotronic Video World!

IFC Midnight is letting it all hang out and there are two new releases that will be made available on VOD and Cable on Demand in the very near future. Some new clips for each of their new perspective offerings have made it our way. Take a look at Apartment 143 and Area 407.

Apartment 143 has a very 80′s Italian horror feel ala Argento and Fulci (and you thought we forgot about these guys). There’s something eerie about the low quality photography and head shots featured in the footage below. Check it on out and get your “On Demand Finger” ready.

Synopsis:  A team of parapsychologists sets out to investigate a series of anomalous phenomena taking place in a newly occupied apartment. Telephone calls with no caller, mysterious shadows, extraordinary light emissions, flying objects, and exploding light bulbs, are some of the events they will face while recording their every step with state-of-the-art technology. Using infra-red filming, digital photography, psychophonic recordings, movement detectors, and magnetic field alteration meters, the group’s attempts to contact the “other side” will grow increasingly dangerous as they near a point of no return…

“Is There Anybody There”

“Holy Hell”

“Something’s About To Happen”
To embed:

APARTMENT 143 is now available on VOD, iTunes, Amazon.com and other digital platforms starting April 27 and in theaters starting June 1st. Magnet Releasing does it again!

 AND

We recently announced Area 407 would be released a soon as well. Here’s some new footage, synopsis and release info. Make sure to stay tuned. The poster demands your attention.

Synopsis: After taking off on a flight from New York to Los Angeles on New Years Eve, the passengers of Flight 37A are soon sent into shock and alarm as the plane experiences severe turbulence. The relentless weather attack causes panic and terror amongst the passengers until the plane ultimately crashes in a remote government-testing reserve, AREA 407. Through footage captured by two teenage sisters, the accident and crash lead to further events that should not be viewed by the faint of heart. As they continue to film, it becomes apparent that the remaining survivors of Flight 37A may not survive the night.  

“Close the Door”

“Sorry Charlie”

Directed by Dale Fabrigar and Everette Wallin, AREA 407 stars Abigail Schrader, Samantha Lester, James Lyons, Melanie Lyons, Brendan Patrick Connor, Ken Garcia, Samantha Sloyan, Everette Wallin and Jude Gerard Prest. The film was written by Robert Shepyer.

AREA 407 is now available on IFC Midnight Cable VOD and Digital Outlets (SundanceNOW, iTunes, Amazon Streaming, XBOX Zune, Playstation Unlimited) and select theaters.

I am not a fan of the words “psychological thriller”. They make me think of the Oscars and how horror movies get snubbed at the Oscars. When a horror picture does make it big they are labeled with this much despised phrase. That being said this psychological thriller looks fantastic. The trailer is alluring (you like, you let us know below).  I’m a fan of most of what IFC Midnight has been putting out lately although they border on “artsy” for me (that’s a word I’m sure ya’ll hate as much as I hate psychological thriller). I think there’s a renewed trend to attempt to imitate the cinematography of Brian DePalma. This is the second release recently that I can say has that feeling. I’m okay with that. It stands to reason if we’re going retro everything that we might see a few mad geniuses imitated from time to time. Keep you eyes out for this and a few other IFC Midnight flicks bobbing to the surface.

Trailer:

<embed src=’http://www.ifcfilms.com/mediaplayer/player-licensed-viral.swf’ height=’349′ width=’616′ allowscriptaccess=’always’ allowfullscreen=’true’ flashvars=’image=http%3A%2F%2Fmedia.ifcfilms.com%2Fimages%2Fvideos%2Fvideo-preview-image%2Fifc-films_616x349.gif&file=http%3A%2F%2Fmedia.ifcfilms.com%2Fflv%2Fentrance_trailer_480x272.flv&plugins=viral-1d’/>

Synopsis:

 ENTRANCE is a riveting new psychological thriller from newcomers Dallas Hallam and Patrick Horvath, exploring the thin line between anxiety and naked horror in the life of Suzy (SUZIEY BLOCK), a young woman in Los Angeles who can’t get comfortable in her own skin. A loner who wallows in nostalgia and finds herself wandering aimlessly through life in the city, she can’t shake the gnawing suspicion that a true menace grows just outside her field of vision. As she scrambles to take control of her life, her anxiety rises to a fever pitch that boils over into a waking nightmare.   An official selection of the Los Angeles Film Festival, ENTRANCE is an intimate character study directed with a formalist restraint. Suziey Block’s fearless performance injects both terror and poise as this uniquely-styled thriller climbs from spark to inferno.

In Theaters and Available Nationwide on IFC Midnight Cable VOD and Digital Outlets (SundanceNOW, iTunes, Amazon Streaming, XBOX Zune, Playstation Unlimited) on May 18, 2012.

My experience thus far with Psykik Junky has been pretty good. While I admit that the production quality of the films they put out aren’t always top notch, they are trying to keep up the splatter cinema we love for the indy’s we hope will break it big. This release is a perfect example of just that. Independent studios have thrived for years on the anthology especially featuring new talent or spotlighting up and coming artists. Will this work for the P.J. bunch? We shall see. The trailer below has some fun gore effects. This is often where they shine. Let’s hope the adult film sensations Sophie Dee and Veronica Ricci can bring it on home. It can be difficult to tell just what your going to get when maggots eat rotting severed heads (see Italian Cinema 101). Details below from their recent pre-release.

Teaser/Trailer:

THEATRE OF THE DERANGED (PRE-ORDER DETAILS, DVD WRAP AND DVD RELEASE DATE!)

From Executive Producers James Cullen Bressack and Jarret Cohen at Psykik Junky Pictures, comes the NEWEST HORROR ANTHOLOGY starring horror film icons Shawn C. Phillips, JD Fairman and Cory Jacob and adult-film sensations Sophie Dee and Veronica Ricci:  THEATRE OF THE DERANGED!

Join Andy the Arsonist as he shares five of his favorite short horror films in all their demented glory. The collection features never-before seen films by popular indie horror writer/directors James Cullen Bressack, Shawn C. Phillips, Liz Gilbert, Brian Dorton, and Creep Creepersin.

Synopsis

Andy the Arsonist wishes you the warmest of welcomes to his Theatre Of The Deranged for a night of thrills, chills, spills and oh yes…Grisly, Gory Murders!. Under the eerie light of his dusty projector, your host and resident pyromaniac will treat you to five short films from some of the best horror writer/directors in the indie scene. He’ll take you on a demented adventure across the English countryside, through surreal homicides, only to be eaten alive by adult film sensation Sophie Dee. But first he’ll pay your admission to a sinister carnival along with horror legend Shawn C. Phillips.

The Film is now available for pre-order on amazon and is being released on DVD July 24th, 2012 where it will be available in stores and online!

Here is a link to pre-order, and the best part is you don’t have to pay until it ships!: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B007XIO9JA/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=psykjunkpict-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B007XIO9JA

Here is the IMDB:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2064980/

We have some news of a new film about to meet the horizon. IFC Midnight who has been putting out some of the new horror/disgusto/shock classics of our age (not limited to be including The Human Centipede) wants you to take a plane trip that will end in a plane crash that will put you dead center in the middle of a government testing ground. It’s like a nightmare within a nightmare within a bureaucracy. All you need is for someone to ask you to vote in November and pay your taxes (or not pay them) and you’ll be in a member of proper society.

Synopsis:

After taking off on a flight from New York to Los Angeles on New Years Eve, the passengers of Flight 37A are soon sent into shock and alarm as the plane experiences severe turbulence. The relentless weather attack causes panic and terror amongst the passengers until the plane ultimately crashes in a remote government-testing reserve, AREA 407. Through footage captured by two teenage sisters, the accident and crash lead to further events that should not be viewed by the faint of heart. As they continue to film, it becomes apparent that the remaining survivors of Flight 37A may not survive the night.

Trailer:

Directed by Dale Fabrigar and Everette Wallin, AREA 407 stars Abigail Schrader, Samantha Lester, James Lyons, Melanie Lyons, Brendan Patrick Connor, Ken Garcia, Samantha Sloyan, Everette Wallin and Jude Gerard Prest. The film was written by Robert Shepyer.

AREA 407 will be available nationwide on IFC Midnight Cable VOD and Digital Outlets (SundanceNOW, iTunes, Amazon Streaming, XBOX Zune, Playstation Unlimited) and select theaters on APRIL 27, 2012.

While the trailer for REC3 has been out for some time we urge you to check out this new poster that’s hit the net. Now it’s not entirely clearly how this imagery will play into the new sequel to this demon, POV cam series with a hint of the plague and a good look at the end of times, but we can tell you that it’s bad ass. It seems like this installment has taken the series in a new direction (or so we think).  I’m not sure you’ll hang it in the bathroom when you get a copy, but make sure to share it with your friends.

From Magnet:

Synopsis: Koldo and Clara are about to celebrate the most important day of their lives: their wedding. Everything appears to be running smoothly and the bride and groom and their families are enjoying a wonderful day; that is until some of the guests start showing signs of a strange illness. Before they know what’s happening, the bride and groom find themselves in the middle of a hellish ordeal, as an uncontrollable torrent of violence is unleashed on the wedding. Amidst the chaos, Koldo and Clara become separated and begin a desperate search for one another. What started off as an idyllic day quickly descends into a nightmare of the worst kind…

Magnet will release the film on VOD August 3 and in theaters starting September 7.

Visit the official Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/rec3

It’s no secret that the sleaziest of the sleazy tightens the crotch of our bell bottoms.  The Blood Sprayer is genetically predisposed to seeking out the nasty stuff.  Hey, don’t blame us-it’s in our DNA!  So, the discovery of James Bickert’s DEAR GOD NO! was a goddamn epiphony.

This Atlanta-based filmmaker is on a hot streak currently, as his feature makes its way around the country.  He and his partners in crime (under their Big World Pictures imprint) have a “No Chicken Shits Allowed” mentality.  Raised under Ted Turner’s tyrannical/batshit programming of TV in the 70′s, Bickert & Co. ingested years of exploitation films and are using their abilities to honor their upbringing by making some of the finest must-see independent genre film seen in years.  Don’t expect sell-out, PC, commercial dick drivel from this unruly bunch: No sirree, James Bickert is here to kick ass and leave a trail of beer cans behind him.

James was nice enough to give The Blood Sprayer a little bit of his time to discuss DEAR GOD NO! and then some.  Not only was he nice enough to answer all our questions, but he rolled out what has now become one of my favorite interviews I’ve had the pleasure of conducting.  In short, James Bickert brings the goods.  He’s the real deal and I reckon you’re going to love this as much as I did.  Enjoy the interview and check out DEAR GOD NO!, currently screening at a convention near you.

BS:  To get the ball rolling, give our readers a little insight into who you are, where you’re from, and how you  became a filmmaker.

Although I’ve lived in Atlanta for the past 20 years, I’m originally from the Southeastern swam- infested part of the state where I was raised on a diet of Drive-in Trash and Famous Monsters Magazines. Most of us exploitation aficionados in Georgia are the result of Ted Turner’s crazy programming on WTCG (now TBS) in the 70′s. Back then, it was a vehicle for him to broadcast every Atlanta Braves game and he would just fill the rest of the time slots with monster films, Night Gallery, wrestling and crazy Japanese Kaiju kids shows. As a result of WTCG, many of us gravitated to the same drive-ins, video stores, dive bars, etc. Ted Turner’s brainwashed bastard children. Some kids would go deer hunting but we were the guys that got drunk and blew stuff up. After studying fine art, bras and keg stands in college, I met this dominatrix at a bar who needed a camera operator for some gothic S&M / bondage films. I don’t have any freaky fetishes, but the money was good. These films were terrible and surprisingly boring to shoot and edit. It all looked like a Nine Inch Nails video or Joel-Peter Witkin photo. Finally I said screw it to common sense and decided that if I’m going to make crap, it’s going be the crap I want to see.

BS:  Dear God No! has not only made quite a splash amongst The Blood Sprayer writing staff, it’s making its rounds on the convention circuit, and quite successfully I might add.  How did the concept for this film come about?  What was the process from inception to completion?

That’s great to hear! We just wanted to entertain ourselves and now I’m getting the chant from Todd Browning’s Freaks. There are quite a lot of us out there and it’s been refreshing meeting everyone across the country. The concept came about over a mason jar of moonshine while projecting The Glory Stompers in the backyard with my partners in crime, Shane Morton and Nick Morgan. We started talking about the end of the biker film cycle and the crazy variations that tried to keep it alive. There were not many biker films that took place outside of the California chopper culture so I wanted to create a picture with a Southern identity. It was important that it felt like the most insane lost film from the 70′s, so any technique and equipment post 1976 would have to be thrown out the window. We made it like we thought a low budget 70′s film would be made. The crew was the cast, no dolly, no Raimi cam, practical effects, shoot on film, only one take allowed, and shoot it in 7 days.  The total opposite of commercial filmmaking today. Obviously I had to use computers to edit it. Boo!

I truly love exploitation films so all those elements seemed natural as the story progressed in my head. I had come up with the ending first and wanted a fun roller coaster ride getting there. In my mind it all seemed like a natural progression of insanity. You know, even though there are some dark convoluted themes running through it the main goal was always a beer drinking, yell at the screen, good time. You’re probably right; it is a mixbag of everything I love.  Hell, wait till you see the sequel!

BS:  Of all the impressive stuff that happens in your movie, the thing I found most impressive was the footage during the opening credits.  How did you shoot the motorcycle footage and how long did that sequence take to knock out?

All biker films must have a long riding sequence. It’s a law of the genre. I didn’t want to disrupt the flow of the film once we got to the meat and potatoes so the opening credits were the only place for a riding montage. There is a highway to nowhere out in Mansfield, Georgia where The Walking Dead shoots, so we paid off a deputy to let us go nuts for six hours. We also shot two other scenes within that time frame. One of our actors was found hanging in his living room the night before. He was a really close friend to everyone on the crew so it was some much needed therapy to get out there on those vintage Harleys. It really helped us get through the next five days of shooting. We became an even tighter family.

Well, as a kid, it started with Universal & A.I.P. monster movies which progressed into Hammer, New World Pictures, Crown International, Box Office International, etc. My favorite go-to movies are The Cheerleaders, Orgy of the Dead, Spider Baby, Faster Pussycat Kill Kill, Three Way Weekend, Horror Rises from the Tomb, Hard Times for Archie, Nightdreams, Black Caeser, The Outfit, Tombs of the Blind Dead, The Savage Seven, She Demons, Mad Doctor of Blood Island, Raw Force, Wolf Devil Woman, Bare Behind Bars, Two Thousand Maniacs, Truck Stop Women, Honky Tonk Nights, Last Night at The Alamo and Mondo Topless. There are many director influences: Russ Meyer, Roger Corman, Jack Hill, Jose Majica Marins, Sergio Corbucci, Seijun Suzuki, Monte Hellman, Eddie Romero, Fredrico Fellini, Luis Bunuel, William Girdler, Larry Cohen, Jean Rollins, just to name a few.  I love the old school William Castle and David Friedman ballyhoo most of all.

I’m pretty sure it has to do with my childhood at the Drive-in. The parents putting me in the front seat with hot dogs, pizza, popcorn and soda while they made out in the back. The smell of the old PIC mosquito coils, sound from the mono speakers and countdowns that would never end. Pretending to be asleep so I could watch horror films through one half open eye. It totally influences my filmmaking mentality. In my mind, I make films to be seen outdoors in lawn chairs with a dry rubbed pork loin on the grill and a keg of cold beer. And you are totally right, we don’t give a fuck about working in Hollyweird or answering to anyone who doesn’t get it.

Well, that would be Jailhouse Brewery’s Slammer Wheat and Monday Night Brewing Company’s Kilt Lifter. That’s the best we have locally right now. I’ve been mostly drinking Southern Tier, Shiner’s Rye Lager and everything in New Belgium’s Lips of Faith series. I like pounding Weihenstephaner and a buddy turned me on to all these crazy smoked Aecht Schlenkerla Rauchbiers. The Marzen is delicious. But hell, I’ll always drink a case of cold PBR. I’m no beer snob.

BS:  The soundtrack to DGN! is excellent.  It sounds like some of that stuff is homegrown rock and roll.  Tell us about some of the artists who’s music is featured and while you’re at it, tell us what’s been spinning on your turntable lately (or on your Ipod…whatever.).

The Forty Fives composed a great deal of the music. Bryan G. Malone (lead singer & guitarist) was our soundman so he had first hand knowledge of the direction we were going. He and Adam McIntyre were great to work with and very fast. Dusty Booze, our resident record collector, turned me onto an old B-Side by Paul Revere & The Raiders that was straight up sax-based 60’s titty bar tunes. I played it for those guys and within a week we had a badass clone to play on set for our strippers. They recorded an amazing cover of MC5’s Baby Won’t Ya but we couldn’t get the damn rights from Wayne Kramer . It was going to be ½ our budget, so we replaced it with the great Southern fried rock act Syrup. It was important that the tunes stay true to the era so The Forty Fives ran with a James Gang vibe. Bryan also brought aboard The Booze and The Biters. Johnny McGowan of Grinder Nova put together the title song and it just puts a smile on my face. We needed one of those dopey 70′s folk songs with a Southern feel and he nailed it. It feels straight out of The Born Losers. Richard Davis from Gargantua did our original score on some vintage equipment and has probably seen the film more times than anyone. I love his work; he has immense creative talent, a good work ethic and a genuine love for the genre. I would just tell him the tone I was going for and he nailed it every time.  I wouldn’t use anyone else.  I listen mostly to local music like Bigfoot, Dusty Booze & The Baby Haters, The Forty Fives and Ghost Rider Car Club. When it’s not local, it’s rock like Buffalo, Rose Tattoo, Rattler, Five Horse Johnson, Sheavy, Supersuckers, Lucifer’s Friend and the classic shit like Bon Scott’s AC/DC.

 BS:  Let’s talk beards.  Beards are an essential, manly aspect of life for me.  Judging by your cast members, the same can be said for them.  Tell us a little about your cast.  It didn’t seem as though they had to strectch too far from their own look and lifestyles to play the characters they’re playing.  Would this be a correct assumption or are they vastly different than the folks they portrayed (under the assumption they’re not pillaging, raping murderers obviously)?

Yeah, pretty much. All the bikers were cast before the script was written.  We’re all friends who have helped inspire volumes of police reports. I just took elements of their personalities and exaggerated them a tiny bit. Not much. It made writing easy because I could hear each one saying the dialogue.

The most fucked up was the explosion at the beginning of the film. The pyrotechnic guys had built a sawdust cannon that was supposed to blow several pounds of sawdust into a fireball that would dissipate into the air. They decided to experiment and add flour to the mix which caused the giant mushroom cloud to fall back like napalm. It lit a giant patch of kudzu on fire and in seconds it became a dangerous out of control fire with 50 ft. flames about to destroy our favorite drive-in! Strangely, the pyro guys didn’t think to bring any fire extinguishers, so we had to run from snack bar to snack bar gathering as much hose as we could. Luckily we kept Atlanta from being burned to the ground a second time. Then, there was the original Kooky Karl who popped a handful of Xanex and had to be replaced on the spot by Tim McGarren. I’ll save that story.

We just shot a promo for the sequel FRANKENSTEIN CREATED BIKERS. It can best be described as Leon Klimovsky making a film for New World Pictures.  It’s a 90 second trailer that our international sales agent will take to Cannes for pre-sales. If there’s enough money, we would like to make the prequel REBEL HELL at the same time and put together a roadshow package with bands for the summer of 2013. We would try to book it at the remaining American drive-ins. After that, I have a series of hicksploitation moonshine running films and a women in prison / tropical hellhole film. All have bat shit crazy horror elements.  I’m also producing MY ROOM being made by David Anthony and Logan Myers.  It’s really fucked up. If funding falls in place, that should begin shooting this summer.

On June 5^th, DEAR GOD NO! will be available on DVDfrom Amazon and a few brick n mortar stores.  It’s loaded with 2 commentaries, trailer, behind the scenes, stills & poster slideshow, 2 theatrical promos, the world premiere and five Easter eggs!  We’re negotiating some streaming rights now.  The fans have been great especially the blogs. It’s hard to crack into the mainstream press and the internet response has really helped us become noticed. If you want to keep us rolling, vote for us on IMDB and drop a review.  Next up theatrically is a midnightscreening May 4^th at Texas Frightmare Weekend and then a screening in Dayton, Ohio on May 25^th.  It will play in New York City sometime this summer. You can keep up on everything through our website (www.deargodnomovie.com) and Facebook page.

Amazing Artwork by Mitch O'Connell

Across the galaxy, from another dimension, with the sole purpose of tingling, titillating, and terrorizing your frail human mind comes the 6th Sci-Fi Spectacular! Doors open at 11am on April 28th at the Portage Theater – 4050 N. Milwaukee Ave., Chicago, IL (773-736-4050) – where there will be a pulsating celebration of all things other-worldly for 14 hours!!

Included with the festival screenings there will be vendor tables, a live charity auction benefiting Vital Bridges - which helps men, women and children impacted by HIV & AIDS build healthier lives, and a special guest appearance by Kelli Maroney, star of Night of the Comet, Chopping Mall, and Fast Times at Ridgemont High!

CURRENT FILM LINE-UP:

11:30 – Trailer Trash (Vintage Trailers & Short Films!)
Noon – Little Shop of Horrors (Original Corman Classic!)
1:30 – The Last Starfighter (80′s Awesomeness!)
3:15pm – Brazil (The Ultimate Dystopian Future!)
6pm – Night of the Comet (star Kelli Maroney in Person!)
8:15pm – Twelve Monkeys (Gilliam’s Modern Masterpiece!)
10:30pm – Attack the Block (Monster Mayhem!)
Midnight – The Theatre Bizarre (Midwest Premiere!)

SHORT FILMS & TRAILERS INCLUDE:

“Devil In My Ride” (Trailer for Gary Schultz’s feature!)
“Under the Table” – Darren Callahan
“Scary Ghost” – Leo O’Connell

TRAILER TRIBUTE TO ROGER CORMAN:

“Blast of Doom” – Kurt Long
“Henry’s Crazy Dream” – Danny Delpurgatorio
“Insane From Infinity!” – Gary Schultz
“Kusper on Ice” – Zoran Gvojic
“Children of the Invisible Man” – Darren Callahan
“The Beast From Under The Bridge” – Charlie Jaimes
“Mad Monster Mayhem” – John Danger Cambell
“The Kaledescope Man” – Andrew Klass
“The Ghoul in the Greenhouse” – Red Clark
“Catastrophe At Catalina” – Imagos Films

Tickets are available for  pre-sale for only $20 at BrownPaperTickets.com – come and go as you please the day of the event, though admission rises to $24 at the door.

You can find more updates from the Sci-Fi Spectacular FaceBook Page.

As the rest of the months become increasingly reserved for last-minute two-screen release Oscar grabs and harsh acts of theatrical terrorism via the likes of Adam Sandler, I find myself looking forward to the late spring and summer movie season more and more with each passing year.  I fully expected this year’s rich payload of cinematic treats to start delivering in earnest on May 4 with the release of The Avengers, April is usually nothing to get excited about.  How wrong I was!  Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard looked down from their respective mountains of unassailable nerd cred, saw us impatiently scouring the Internet for the latest promo images and trailer iterations and proclaimed, “Gentle summer movie fans, your wait is over!  You shall be entertained!”.  Truth be told, this movie’s been waiting around to see the light of day for a while.  It was shot in 2009 and delayed not for a lack of studio interest, but due to Whedon and Goddard’s staunch refusal to allow it to be converted to 3D.  Remember what I said about that unassailable nerd cred?  Call it luck, or hope against hope that the demand for blurry, headache-inducing entertainment is on the decline, but either way this movie arrived at exactly the right time for me.

Now I will tell you up front, before any proper reviewing gets underway, that I loved literally everything about The Cabin in the Woods.  You should go see it immediately.  That being said, it is an experience brimming with rare surprises, and thus is going to be difficult for me to talk about while guaranteeing a hermetically sealed and spoiler-free environment.  So you’ve been warned.  I’m gonna throw up the break here, then there’s gonna be a poster, and after that I’ll not be responsible for ruining anything for anybody.  I was serious when I said you should go to the theater and buy your ticket immediately.  Okay, you’ve been warned.  Here there be spoilers.

First off, let me say how much I enjoy this poster.  The more I look at it, the more I like it, and it’s the only one I’ve seen for a while that I feel compelled to own.  It’s a metaphor, the titular cabin is not literally a Hellraiser-style puzzle box.  And how rare is it to see a movie poster these days, in any genre, that approaches the artistry of ye olden days?  It’s an iconic image well executed, not overtly in your face, with a decent tagline.  Most importantly, it’s not a shoddy Photoshop conglomerate of every actor involved.  I applaud everyone involved for having a 30 million dollar horror movie starring a pre-Thor Chris Hemsworth on their hands and resisting the urge to throw his face in there somewhere to move tickets.

Before showing the titles or introducing any of the principal actors, the film opens on Richard Jenkins (Six Feet Under) and Bradley Whitford (The West Wing) in what basically amounts to a television “cold opening”, starring characters that we won’t know much about for some time to come.  It’s a successful tactic, quickly giving the audience a glimpse of the plot’s mysterious substrata and giving everyone something to think about while they proceed to watch five doomed college students pile into an RV.  The scene also brought a smile to my face for the simple fact that every time I watch a great performance from a so-called “TV” or “bit” actor and wonder “Why aren’t these guys in more movies?”, I know Joss Whedon is somewhere going “Yeah, why aren’t they?”.  I sometimes feel like the collective call-list of every casting director in Hollywood might just about fill an index card if you wrote big enough, and in an era where the high end of television programming is quickly outpacing film in both production quality and acting, those people would do well to watch this movie and take note.

After this unexplained opening scene, the narrative adopts the expected pace of classic pre-torture porn horror.  Five college students-the established couple, the sexual tension couple, and the funny guy.  There’s your standard RV, road trip, cabin on-loan from extended family, Texas Chainsaw Gas Station, and acres upon acres of pot.  In this department, the main thing separating The Cabin in the Woods from Friday the 13th Part Whatever, or even from more modern genre attempts such as Cabin Fever (also about cabins), is that the actors here aregood.  The characters are likable, the performances are solid, and there’s not a single one of them that the audience is excited to see come to a gruesome end.  Everyone is well-cast, but the standout in the group is easily Fran Kranz (Dollhouse) as the obligatory comic-relief stoner Marty.  That’s an easy trope to dismiss as played-out, and it usually is.  Kranz hits it out of the park though, and Marty is basically the Charles Foster Kane of pothead characters.  Hopefully between this and Joss Whedon’s upcoming (he never stops!) Much Ado About Nothing, this guy will get the attention he deserves and start showing up in things that everyone will see.  Hollywood would be much better for it.

Eventually, the movie’s A and B stories begin to swap places, and the progression into well-worn horror standards is shown to be the result of outside manipulation courtesy of the characters seen in the cold opening and the mysterious, seemingly omnipotent, company that employs them.  The victims are manipulated down the path of various horror movie stereotypes, and are quickly put in a situation where they will unknowingly choose the form of their destructor, Ghostbusters style.  The creepiness of the associated cellar scene plays perfectly alongside a hilarious betting pool on the other end of the video monitors, complete with a huge whiteboard containing dozens of possible outcomes including “zombie hillbilly torture family,” “reptilicus”, “clowns”, and “unicorn”.  In following with American horror standards and traditions, the result is of course hillbilly torture zombies, and everyone gathers around the monitors to watch with satisfaction as the poor unwitting college students are cut down one by one.  We’re also treated to glimpses of similar atrocities taking place around the globe on a bank of computer monitors, the best of which by far is Japan.  I won’t spoil it for you, but if you watched much Japanese horror about ten years ago (or the parade of pointless American remakes), you’re in for a treat.

Here, I believe about halfway through the film’s run time, is where I’m going to draw my review to a close.  It only gets better, and the last half contains a parade of monster effects and character design that looks like every single issue of Fangoria made real, as well as a surprise cameo that absolutely made my day and gave me a solid reason to stay off IMDB untilafter I’ve seen a film.  I’m so glad the last bits weren’t spoiled for me, and I wouldn’t do that to you, even in an already spoiler-laden review.  The Cabin in the Woods is a great directorial debut for Drew Goddard, and yet another notch in Joss Whedon’s Awesome Writer Belt, which I assume is a thing that he has.  The casting couldn’t have been better, and the plot is a work of mad crossover genius, like if HP Lovecraft had written Monsters, Inc.  I will leave you with my highest recommendation to go see this film if you haven’t already, see it again with a friend if you already have, and buy the DVD or Blu Ray when they hit stores, because this is the type of thing that deserves our money as customers of the film industry.  Oh, and I will also leave you with this congratulatory Wheaties box that I made to honor Joss Whedon’s many accomplishments and contributions to my quality of life.  He is a true champion.  Feel free to spread it generously around the Internet, he deserves it.

There we were, sitting around the table at a sports bar (add whatever the hell name you choose because they’re all the same):  Beers sitting in front of us, absurdly-flavored chicken wings, laughing and bullshitting.  The events of the day were topic of discussion but there was so much more to it than that.  We were friends enjoying a mutual love…and it was good.

A few weeks back, several of The Blood Sprayer family attended Cinema Wasteland Movie & Memorabilia Expo in Strongsville, Ohio.  For my money, Wasteland is the best convention out there and the only one I choose to attend regularly.  Cinema Wasteland conducts itself with a family-styled spirit. Lots of familiar faces can be seen in attendance and consequently, those faces are friends of this site.  You cannot help but feel a part of something great when you’re there.  While this may come as no surprise, the guests and films often associated with Cinema Wasteland’s scheduled events also happen to be the types we put a majority of our focus on.  So, I’m sure you can see the appeal for us.

While there, we encountered several old friends:  Mike Watt and Amy Lynn Best, Chris Seaver and the Warlock Home Video crew (whom you’ll be seeing a feature about quite soon), Henrique Couto, Synapse Films, Kristoff Bates (director of After Party Massacre and madman behind Horrormerch.com), and Toe Tag Pictures were in attendance.  Artists like Joel Robinson and Don England were there selling there magnificent work.  And as always, Wasteland’s roster of guests  didn’t disappoint, giving me the opportunity to meet adult film legend Seka in person (hey, sometimes joking back and forth on Twitter doesn’t cut it!).  I feel quite blessed that my favorite horror convention takes up residence in my own home state.

As I was eluding to early, several of our crew were there together:  Myself (with wife and son in tow), Zach Shildwachter, Matt Pocock, and Courtney Wyant all got to actually hang together at the same time whilst at a convention.  It was as if planets had aligned for the mere sake of our schedules.  We ranted and raved about our excitement involving James Bickert’s sleaze Tour De Force DEAR GOD NO! (which lives up to ALL our expectations and then some), laughed about ridiculous things we’d seen as of late, talked about Zach’s preparation to take Face Off by storm, poked fun at my obsession with Jim Van Bebber…basically had an all around great time.  At one point, I took a moment to take this all in and see my friends sitting there with me while my family was also there, warmed my heart beyond belief.  It also made me think of how badly I’d have loved to have the other Blood Sprayers there with us (Bill Adcock, Jimmy Terror, Brittney-Jade Colangelo, Mike Dobrzelecki, Jeremiah Genson, Morgan Rankin, Mahlon Orrin, etc.).

The Blood Sprayer as a website has a lot in common with Cinema Wasteland.  We tend to be a bit on the nostalgic side while also lending our assistance to the independent filmmaking community as much as we possibly can.  It’s the familial mentality that has become a driving force behind the work we do.  Whether it’s seeing old friends at a convention or logging into Facebook and seeing my news feed LIT UP with glowing, hopeful reviews of a new horror film, my heart swells with pride being a part of it.  These aren’t just our brethren in horror-these are our friends!  We love to talk about movies, of course, but we also hug when we see one another.  We ask about one another’s children, lend an ear or a shoulder when one of our own is hurting;  it makes for such a strong bond amongst people who only see one another a few times a year.  This also motivates our site to continuously support filmmakers on each of their many ventures.  That’s why you’ll see the same names pop up regularly.  These are people we care about.  We care about the work they do, we believe in it, and so we want to use the resource that we have available to expose our readers to them.

As my coffee cup reeks of emptiness and Royal Thunder’s record breaths it’s final breaths, I feel this an appropriate moment to wrap this up.  I want to take that moment to thank Ken Kish and the rest of the fine people at Cinema Wasteland for reminding me why horror, as a community, is so important.  They have gone out of their way to give hardcore fans the best damn show they can give.  In turn, it serves as a reminder to be grateful for what horror films have given us.  In the very near future, you’ll see lots of coverage on DEAR GOD NO! and it’s director James Bickert, a big fat feature on the resurrected Warlock Home Video, and many other names you’ve heard in the past.  That’s our way of showing our gratitude.  When promoters such as Ken Kish go out of their way to create a family environment within horror conventions, it drives us to do the same as a media outlet.  Enjoy these friends you’ve made by being a lover of horror films…they’re some of the most loyal ones you’ll ever have.

Stay Filthy-

Wes

The good folks at IFC Midnight are putting out a new film that is supposed to invoke feelings of Roman Polanski. Since the protagonist is looking for a tenant I’m inclined to think of the apartment trilogy. I’m not the biggest fan of this trilogy as far as content, but if we’re talking about the shooting style, the cinematography and overall feel of the produciton than this can’t be passed up. IFC Midnight has clearly been pursuing some dark titles that are as intriguing as they are frightening (or in some cases gross). Keep your eyes open for Penumbra starting April 20 which is less than a week away.

We here at the Blood Sprayer are big supporters of Synapse Films. They’re good people who make a complete package product and have a kick ass logo. Let this new release be considered no different. Dolph Lundgren isn’t only the Russian Ivan Drago in Rocky IV ya know. He’s something more. He stars in the action packed Red Scorpion. See full release notes below and look for Red Scorpion on DVD and Blu Ray June 12th. He must break you… wait… wrong movie. (full release notes below if you have the balls to read them).

DOLPH LUNDGREN in JOSEPH ZITO’S

RED SCORPION NOW ON BLU-RAY!

They think theycontrol him. THINK AGAIN!

Dolph Lundgren makes stuff go BOOM! in Joseph Zito’sboombastic REDSCORPION, now on Blu-ray and DVD from Synapse Films!

Internationalbuilt-as-hell action star Dolph Lundgren (The Expendables,Rocky IV) isLt. Nikolai Rachenko, a Soviet Special Forces “killing machine,” assigned toinfiltrate an African rebel uprising and assassinatetheir anti-Communist leader.  Taken into custodyand tortured after the mission fails, he stages aharrowing prison escape.  Befriended by anAfrican bushman while on the run, Nikolai discovers hewas fighting on the wrong side of this violentconflict all along.  Nikolai finds the rebel armyonce more but, this time, he’s on their side and wagesbloody war against his former comrades!

This action-packed controversial cult classic is nowavailable from SynapseFilms in a brand-new 2K high-definition transferof the uncensored version, containing footage neverbefore seen in the U.S.  Featuring amazingperformances from Dolph Lundgren, M. Emmet Walsh (Blade Runner, BloodSimple) and the late Brion James (Blade Runner, Southern Comfort),REDSCORPION contains bloody, blasting specialeffects from the legendary Tom Savini (Dawn of the Dead,Maniac, Friday the 13th). Loaded with interviews and other amazing specialfeatures, this disc will blow you away!

Special Features:

• All-New 2KHigh-Definition Digital Restoration of the UncensoredVersion  • Audio Commentarywith Director  Joseph Zito andMondo Digital’s  Nathaniel Thompson  • All-New DTS-HD MA5.1 Soundtrack Mixed Specifically for This Release  •HATH NO FURY– “Dolph Lundgren and the Road to RED SCORPION Featurette”  • ASSIGNMENT:AFRICA –  Video Interviewwith Producer Jack Abramoff  • SCORPION TALES –  Video Interviewwith Make-Up Effects Artist Tom Savini  • Rare OriginalOn-Set Behind-the-Scenes Video Footage  • Animated StillGallery  • Liner Notes onthe Making of REDSCORPION byJérémie Damoiseau  • TheatricalTrailer and TV Spots  • Reversible CoverDesign

Disc Info:

Director: JosephZito Starring: DolphLundgren, M. Emmet Walsh, Brion James

Run Time: 106minutes

Release Date: June 12, 2012

Language: English Aspect

Ratio: Widescreen Anamorphic 1.78:1

Format: DVD/Blu-raycombo Region: AllRegions Price: $29.95

UPC Code: 654930313893 CatalogNo.:SFD0115

Haxan Films and Eduardo Sanchez, the crew behind the Blair Witch Project, want to scare us again. From the trailer and promo materials I’ve seen thus far it looks like they plan to do it using a mixed shooting style of POV, camcorder footage and narrative third party, standard cinematography. While a few films in recent memory have tried to trasnced the found footage style, it appears that Sanchez may have succeeded in making a good scare out of it. One may only remember Grave Encounters and the a cooperation of shooting styles that lead to the narrative and gave it the feeling of a well crafted horror novel. See below from Haxan.

Synopsis:

When newlywed Molly Reynolds returns to her long-abandoned family home, frightful reminders of a nightmarish childhood begin seeping into her new life. She soon begins an inexorable descent into an evil that blurs the lines between psychosis and possession.

In the new horror thriller LOVELY MOLLY, Molly Reynolds transforms from a happynewlywed to a person capable of unspeakable acts.  This series explores the origins of Molly’s dark descent.

The latest horror thriller from Blair Witch co-creator Eduardo Sanchez,  LOVELY MOLLY wowed audiences at SXSW last month and opens inlimited release on May 18th.

Find out more by checking out the official LOVELY MOLLY website and becoming a fan on Facebook: OFFICIAL SITE: http://www.lovelymolly.com />FACEBOOK:  www.facebook.com/lovelymolly

Hello again Brothers and Sisters of the Psychotronic Video World! Your old pal Bill here again.  Now maybe you remember, a little over a year ago I reported here on the production of a little creature-feature called SNOW SHARK: ANCIENT SNOW BEAST.  Filmed locally, with a cast and crew of predominantly local talent, SNOW SHARK is a symbol of everything good that Buffalo has to offer.  Philadelphia may be the City of Brotherly Love, but Buffalo’s film-making community really pulled together and made SNOW SHARK happen.

I’m happy to report that not only has SNOW SHARK: ANCIENT SNOW BEAST been completed, it has been picked up for world-wide distribution by Alternative Cinema, and the DVD should be hitting shelves sometime this coming winter, as is thematically appropriate.  Between now and then, SNOW SHARK will be hitting the film festival circuit.

Last night (April 10th, 2012) the Premiere screening of SNOW SHARK: ANCIENT SNOW BEAST was held at the Dipson Theater in Amherst, New York.  It was something of a gala event — it’s not every day a Buffalonian makes a full length feature film and gets it into distribution!

Prior to the start of the film, I spent some time catching up with people I hadn’t seen in months, if not longer — I’m essentially a Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dweller, so socialization is not something I do well.

The film itself was great — perfectly fulfilling what it set out to be: a fun little creature-feature, and an exercise in feature film-making for writer-director Sam Qualiana.  There were a couple moments where the sound seemed a little fuzzy, but I have no doubt that this will be corrected for the DVD release.

I won’t go into excruciating detail summarizing the plot, but let’s see here:

In 1999, a team of biologists disappear in the lonely woods near a small town.  In 2004, a local resident killed a shark in the snow, only for the mayor to have the entire incident hushed up.  Now, in 2011, something is eating the locals again, while the mayor tries to keep a lid on everything.  Mike, the man who killed the shark in 2004, is convinced it’s another Snow Shark, and sets out to finish what he began seven years earlier.  Aiding him is a mysterious scientist in an eyepatch…

A couple notes:

• Sam Qualiana’s father, C.J. Qualiana, stole the show as the vengeance-and-grief-driven Sheriff.  Audience response was at its highest when he was on screen.
• The shark roars.  This pleases me.
• While Greg Lamberson felt like the audience didn’t laugh as much as they should, and maybe were too polite to laugh, I felt like audience reaction was just right.
• You can really see the dedication Sam was able to inspire in his actors — not only where people willing to lay in the snow while being blasted with methyl cellulose blood, but he got two women to take their tops off outdoors in Buffalo in February.  For reference, it’s not *that* unusual for Buffalo to be colder than Murmansk, Siberia in winter, this past one notwithstanding.

If you’re in the western New York area and missed the premiere, never fear, there is another screening, tomorrow night (Thursday, April 12th, 2012) at 7:30 PM EST at the Screening Room in Amherst, the home of the Buffalo Screams Horror Film Festival.

And in case you’re wondering…I can be seen briefly in the finished product.

Thanks to the new Ohio Motion Picture Tax Credit, there has been an influx of filmmakers looking to bring their movies to Buckeye State. One local production company, 35mm Pictures LLC, is looking to make some waves along the Lake Erie shore. 35mm Pictures consists of Alfred Griffin, Dale Hlaves, Chris Beck, and Jay Wallace, who all rotate their various skill sets to best suit the project in front of them. Their latest endeavor is Maintenance Man.

Maintenance Man is a feature length Horror film lensing entirely in Northeast Ohio, with large portions filmed at Avon Lake High School. The plot centers around a female High School student and her group of friends who must survive the lethal advances of a killer custodian. The film has no budget, with everything from the actors’ time, wardrobe, and locations being donated.

The hopes rest on Maintenance Man serving as a calling card to potential investors in the Cleveland film scene. The movie has roughly 4 weeks of shooting with another 6 weeks in post-production. Plans are for several screenings in the Cleveland area and local film festivals upon its completion.

You can learn more about 35mm Pictures LLC and their upcoming projects from their Official Website.

Greetings, Brothers and Sisters of the Psychotronic Video World! I hope you’ve put on your big-girl panties this morning, because the film in question today is not for the weak of heart or hairless of crotch.  This is a film that’s been getting some dirty, nasty love on the convention circuit and right here at The Bloodsprayer as well.  Wes, Zach and Matt caught a screening at Cinema Wasteland, and I watched a screener copy at home as part of my research into Sasquatchploitation.  That’s right Brothers and Sisters, I’ve come before you to sing the motherfucking praises of James Bickert’s DEAR GOD NO!

Now sit down and shut up, because here comes the good shit.

First up, the film follows the violent, savage rampage of a motorcycle gang called The Impalers.  These guys are a bunch of unholy fuckers of mothers, and their leader Jett (Jett Bryant) is the unholiest fucker of them all.  The Impalers, the audience learns, is the most sociopathic motorcycle gang in the state — we’re introduced to them as they rape and murder nuns, I should note, and when an audience with the head of rival gang Satan’s Own turns into a bloodbath, the Inpalers ride off as a pair of topless women in Nixon masks open fire on them with submachine guns.

Why? Because fuck you, that’s why.

We’re also introduced to Dr. Marco (Paul McComiskey), an anthropologist living in relative isolation in a cabin in the woods with his young daughter Edna (Madeleine Brumby).  Also living with them is…something…in a locked room in the basement.

As the Impalers rampage cross-state in search of more booze and action, they come across young couple Todd and Laura, and follow them to the cabin where they make themselves at home with Dr. Marco and Edna.  As the Impalers terrorize Dr. Marco, Edna, Todd and Laura, what is that sound coming from outside…? And what is in the basement?

I stand by my previous statement describing DEAR GOD NO! as “a meth-fueled lovechild of THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT and THE LEGEND OF BOGGY CREEK,” and as I stated, this is without a doubt the finest piece of Retrosploitation I’ve seen harkening back to the Grindhouses of Yore.  Fuck PLANET TERROR.  Fuck BITCH SLAP.  Fuck MACHETE.  This is how you make a tribute to the Grindhouse!

Some high points:

• The Vertical Hatchet Wound: A mixed drink concocted to satisfy a contest to determine who the nastier motherfucker is.  A Vertical Hatchet Wound consists of a used tampon dropped in a glass and topped off with vodka.
• Kooky Karl.  I fucking love this guy.
• Strippers.  In Nixon masks.  Firing submachine guns.
• Nazis.  How do Nazis fit in? Watch the fucking movie and find out for yourself.
• Bigfoot is above your petty squabbles.  He’s just in it for the intestines.

In some ways it feels like James Bickert had ideas in his head for several different movies, and said, “Fuck it.  I’m making one movie out of all of them.”  And it WORKS, bitches.  This is the same sort of glorious cinematic insanity that gave us WEREWOLVES ON WHEELS and CENTIPEDE HORROR and THE DEADLY SPAWN. DEAR GOD NO! is the collective unconscious of the entire Bloodsprayer staff filmed in glorious 16mm.  I mean it, if you plugged the brains of Wes, Zach, myself, and the rest of the Bloodsprayer crew into a projector, you’d see something pretty goddamn similar to this.

And if nothing else, see it for the puppies.  You see, there’s these puppies, and they miss their momma real bad, and the President asked Jett and the Impalers to rescue their momma from these rich assholes, see…?

“The World is asleep“. And Zach Green and Fatal Pictures hope to shake you out of your slumber with their latest short film, written and directed by Richard Powell, titled Familiar. You should remember Green and Powell’s previous efforts with their other slow-burn short film Worm. (Interview here, Review here). Familiar has already garnered critical praise from Dread Central, Fangoria,  Ain’t It Cool News, and of course a bearded nod of appreciation from Wes Allen, the J.J. Jameson to my Peter Parker here at the Blood Sprayer. I was asked by producer Zach Green to give my thoughts on their efforts and I was happy to oblige.

John, played by the talented Robert Nolan from Worm, is stuck in a loveless marriage. Yearning to escape, he counts the days until his oldest child is off to college and he can vanish to start living the life he always wanted. Unfortunately his wife surprises him with news of another child soon on the way and it’s up to John to think of a way out before the noose of his wasted life cinches around his neck forever. The actions he takes though are well deserving of a trip to the gallows.

Much of the dialogue is internalized offering a cruel and cold look at the world around John. His heart is filled with nothing but malice as he dissects the actions and intentions of those around him like a disgusted surgeon pilfering through shit filled intestines. Gone is the slick, snarky dialogue that riddled Worm. Instead many things are left unsaid in Familiar, but what is communicated is that we are not all God’s children and for damn good reason. Imagine being partnered with Kevin from THE WONDER YEARS, all grown up into the disappointment we knew he would be dealing with a life much of us are striving to have and keep. That is to say, imagine behind all those cute, yet awkward silences between that special someone you’ve invested the better part of your youth are actually the very moments that fuel the fire of your lover’s never-ending hatred for you and all you’ve built together. That warm feeling nostalgia should have given you should now be replaced by the shiver of self-loathing.

The set design and cinematography rival that of anything you’d see on network television. There are no wasted shots as the editing keeps the film moving at a steady pace, matching the movements of each manipulation invoked from the story. You’re not forced so much as compelled to move forward in your viewing of this film. You’re not so much watching it as you are witnessing it. It’s a tragic thing to see the psyche of your protagonist shatter and then have your remaining cast stabbed, poked, and prodded with those shards. What is a more interesting take is Powell’s exploration into body horror and the use of special effects to heighten the drama and escalate the tension. There’s a bit of evil inside all of us, but not quite like what you’ll see with John.

Familiar pushes the envelope in all the right directions for Horror fans. The slow burn style of storytelling sizzles along as you brace for impact, not knowing fully how dangerous of a scenario you are in. This short serves as the calling card Fatal Pictures has needed to attract investors into a full length feature film. I sincerely believe that audiences are craving such cerebral and visceral horror, something that will truly unease us and make us uncomfortable without the desensitization normally associated with contemporary cinema.

If you’re able, catch Familiar as an Official Selection at the 2012 Texas Frightmare Weekend. You can keep up to date with more developments concerning Familiar and Fatal Pictures from their website here. Keeps eyes peeled for future screenings at upcoming film festivals.

Did you know it only takes 7 pounds of pressure to pull off a human ear? It only takes one listen to Cleveland based Rock duo Mr. Gnome to fall in love. Lullaby like vocals seem to haunt each track with a euphoric need to rock your hips and nod your head.

Collaborating together since 2005, vocalist & guitarist Nicole Barille weave a tapestry of rock with drummer & pianist Sam Meister. If you think this tapestry is just a rug you can sit on while you simply listen along, they’ll pull it right out from underneath you. This is more than evident in the visual stylings that accompanies their signature sound in their music videos.

Here’s the short film/music video for VAMPIRES directed by Sam Meister. It’s filled with blood, gore, violence, bad words, drug use, and all other things that creep out polite society.

Synopsis:

The cast and crew of hit children’s show, Space Magic, are in for quite a treat when special musical guests mr. Gnome stop in the studio.

Be sure to check out the Official Mr. Gnome website for tour information, downloads, and all the latest info. Click here to follow along with the Mr. Gnome blog. Click here to check out the trailer for their highly anticipated, hyper-stylized music video HOUSE OF CIRCLES. Maybe Mr. Gnome will be touring in your neck of the woods, click here to find out.

Brian Lonano of !ROBOT HAND! has just unleashed his latest short The Transmission. An Official Selection of the 14th Boston Underground Film Festival, it played alongside Spookey Ruben’s Puzzleface and a new feature film by Astron-6 ManBorg.

Brian has received several accolades for his work with Attackazoids, Deploy!!, Martian Precursor, and Carny all featuring his unique lo-fi approach to film making that produces a hyper stylized result.

A synopsis for The Transmission:

While a storm rages outside and Henry drinks his bottle of absinthe, he receives a television transmission…from his dead wife.

“The Transmission” – Teaser from !ROBOT HAND! on Vimeo.

Brian’s work always seems to invoke the spirit of No-Budget Sci-Fi Horror done right thanks to the skill and passion poured over it all like red dyed Karo syrup. Be sure to keep an eye out as this short makes its rounds this festival season.

Another Cinema Wasteland show has come and gone, and I’m here with a quick rundown of some of the fun that was once again on display. This spring’s show was all about the films, as there wasn’t much of a theme to the primary guests, and some of them didn’t quite have the big name appeal that past shows have had.  Regardless, the show was still a blast and as always is an excellent way to spend a weekend outside of Cleveland, Ohio (what else are we gonna do, support our loser sports teams?).

Friday night was all about George Romero’s classic Night of the Living Dead as a collection of six former ghouls were in attendance.  The night started out with a question and answer panel, followed by a screening of the classic zombie film on 16mm film.  Meanwhile, in the other movie room, Friday night means a three hour block of short films.  Sprinkled throughout the evening are many other movie screenings as well (which I will get into later).  For us at the Bloodsprayer though, the highlight of Friday night was a reunion of sorts.  It was a blast shooting the shit and talking movies with my website brethren, and I’m hoping it will become a bi-annual event.

Saturday’s feature event was a screening of the cult comedy Rock and Roll High School followed by another panel featuring stars PJ Soles and Dey Young.  Being a huge Ramones fan, I won’t deny I had a blast!  The movie is in no way perfect, but I love it just the way it is.  It’s also always fun to watch a movie I’ve only ever enjoyed in the comfort of my own living room with a room full of strangers laughing and singing along.  As usual, the guest panel also didn’t fail to deliver on the good times.  Highlights include PJ and Dey both stating that they had never heard of the Ramones, and hated their music, but over time they’ve grown to enjoy and respect it.  PJ also had quite a few stories about the onset relationship (or lack there of) between the actors and the musicians.  Afterwards, questions were also answered in regards to both actresses other classic movies including PJ in Carrie, Halloween, and Stripes as well as Dey in The Serpent and the Rainbow, Spaceballs, and The Running Man.

Then came Saturday evening.  For those of you that have never had the privilege of attending Cinema Wasteland, there are two movie and film rooms.  Typically the large room is set aside for the movies shown on 16mm film, guest panels, and movies related to the guests attending.  That typically leaves the smaller room for independent films as well as older classics that may not be a featured screening.  As I headed to the 10:30pm screening of the new indie flick Dear God No! I wondered why it was given the larger room.  I was excited for the movie, but didn’t expect the standing room only crowd that I walked into.  The room was packed for what can only be known as quite possibly the greatest movie screening experience I’ve ever witnessed.  At the start of the screening, writer/director James Bickert introduced the movie, with a young woman that he yanked out of the crowd.  He then asked her for her used tampon, and added it to a large container of vodka to whip up a batch of the films signature adult beverage, a Vertical Hatchet Wound.  A number of the already drunken crowd quickly gulped down the free alcohol.  Needless to say, I passed.  Unfortunately, the screening had a number of audio issues, but the drunken crowd quickly filled in their own dialog and other sound effects to make this a screening to remember.  Look for this over the top homage to trash cinema to get a proper review here shortly.

All in all, it was once again a show to remember.  Even with the lackluster guest lineup, Cinema Wasteland once again delivered the goods.  I’m already looking forward to the October show when Dyanne Thorne of Ilsa fame will once again be gracing us with a visit.  Below is a quick round up of some of the movies that were shown during the three day festival with links to any that may be of interest to any of you.  I will also include trailers for the independent movies, and as always please support them.

THE CLASSICS

Machine Gun Kelly (1958)

Black Sunday (1960)

Black Sabbath (1964)

Night of the Living Dead (1968)

Don’t Torture a Duckling (1972)

Beyond Atlantis (1973)

Torso (1973)

Up! (1976)

Tourist Trap (1979)

Rock and Roll High School (1979)

Repligator (1996)

THE INDEPENDENTS

Dear God No! (2011)

Hack Job (2011)

Jesus, The Total Douche Bag (2012)

The Puppet Monster Massacre (2011)

The Sad Cafe (2011)

Sloppy the Psychotic (2012)

The Tapes (2011)

Hello again, Brothers and Sisters of the Psychotronic Video World! Let’s talk about a true American icon.  Standing between six and nine feet tall, covered with thick hair regularly described as dark brown, gray or black, and featuring eyes that reflect light, I’m talking about the cryptid commonly known as Bigfoot.  Known in the Pacific Northwest as Sasquatch, in Florida as the Skunk Ape, in Missouri as Momo, West Virginia as Cousin Bob, and by various other local names, these giant hairy hominids have been seen in every one of the continental United States and every province of Canada, with reports dating back to the earliest days of Native American legendry.  Similar creatures are reported in Russia, China, Nepal, Tibet, Australia, and other regions where one would not expect to find a big, stinking ape-man.

But I’m not here to tell you about Bigfoot sightings.  To do so would be exhausting, and to cover sightings in my home state alone would (and has) filled an assortment of books.  No, instead I’m going to talk about a handful of Bigfoot-related movies, including some of the best and worst I’ve seen.

The Best

First up, the BEST piece of cinema ever made dealing with the subject of Sasquatch, 1972′s THE LEGEND OF BOGGY CREEK, from director Charles B. Pierce.  This docu-drama, which swept the drive-through circuit in the 1970s and made a bundle, tells the story of the small community of Fouke, Arkansas, which has experienced sightings and encounters with an aggressive, vicious Sasquatch that, interestingly enough, leaves three-toed tracks (an old injury? Birth defect?), and tells the story in the words of residents who have seen the beast, through staged interviews and re-enactments of encounters.  It’s a fascinating watch, and plain to see that these people are not hungry for fame or anything like that.  They genuinely believe they’ve encountered something outside the normal bounds of human existence, and it scares them.

While Bigfoot’s actual presence in 2011′s DEAR GOD NO! is marginal, his stink permeates the entire film.  Coming at the audience like a meth-fueled lovechild of THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT and THE LEGEND OF BOGGY CREEK, DEAR GOD NO! is my favorite entry in the nascent “Retrosploitation” subgenre, being an off-the-wall gonzoid psycho biker film that takes a hard left into Sasquatch Territory.  Blood, beer, urine and vaginal discharges flow freely in this crazed piece of independent cinema.

1977 got us the made-for-TV movie SNOWBEAST, which was basically JAWS transplanted into the Colorado mountains.  Set around a big ski lodge that’s on the eve of celebrating the 50th annual Winter Carnival, a sort of mini Winter Olympics with an attached beauty pageant, one by one skiers are getting picked off by something that leaves big footprints in the snow.  Naturally, the big-wigs won’t close the lodge for fear of losing tourist dollars.  While derivative in terms of story, SNOWBEAST is one stylish little production, with the attacks filmed from the titular Snowbeast’s perspective, giving the film the vibe of an early slasher flick.  There’s not much suit to be seen — you see the creature’s arms during the attacks, and you get two brief glimpses of the creature’s face — and hey, even Bigfoot was sporting big ’70s hair!

The Worst

I would rather try to get a blowjob from a starved, diseased wolverine than watch 1978′s CURSE OF BIGFOOT again.  I don’t even really want to discuss it.  Cobbled together from a 1958 short film called TEENAGERS VERSUS THE THING and new wrap-around footage (featuring one of the same actors, impressively enough), the film shows a “guest lecturer” for a cryptozoology class screaming in rage in the face of a kid who expressed the opinion that creatures like griffins and manticores might be fictional, then launching into an account of how he, along with a group of students on an archaeology dig, encountered a mummified Bigfoot that reanimated and lurched around for a bit in a vaguely-menacing-but-more-the-actor-can’t-see-through-the-suit’s-single-eyehole kind of way before being doused in gasoline and burned to death.  The suit appeared to be a year’s worth of dryer lint hot-glued to a pair of long underwear and a paper maché mask.  And if you added up all the “attack” footage, you’d still only have about twelve seconds’ worth.

1974′s THE BEAUTIES AND THE BEAST (also known as DESPERATELY SEEKING YETI and THE BEAST AND THE VIXENS) could be an impressive melding of the Sasquatchsploitation and Sexploitation subgenres…but it really isn’t.  After an opening narration describing sightings of the Abominable Snowman and Bigfoot, the film spends the first half of its running-time exploring what Bigfoot MIGHT be doing in the woods — abducting female hikers and campers and stashing them in his swinging monkey bachelor pad! He doesn’t actually do anything with them, just stuffs them in the cave and covers the entrance with brambles.  He also peers into cabin windows where swanky ’70s lesbians are camping.  These are Ann (Jacqueline Giroux) and Mary (the eternally lovely and boobilicious Uschi Digard).  Most of the rest of the film is ’70s softcore porn — featuring some truly heinously unattractive people, and even uglier camera angles — which Bigfoot happens to walk by and observe while apparently jerking off.  I mean it about the camera angles.  That is a lot of man-ass on display.  And did I mention that Bigfoot looks like the Swedish Chef in a fur-suit? Seriously, those eyebrows put Abe Vigoda to shame.

While THE BEAUTIES AND THE BEAST may be one for Uschi Digard and Bigfoot completists only, it’s blend of EEGAH! and THE IMMORAL MR. TEAS is kind of entertaining in a weird 1970s way.

But THE BEAUTIES AND THE BEAST looks like Citizen ‘Squatch next to 1970′s BIGFOOT.  Even John Carradine, sporting an impressive mustache and cowboy hat, can’t save this film.  For a film in which Bigfoot is a rape-happy forest ogre raiding a small town for human breeding stock, people sure do stand around the local general store chatting about it, rather than doing much of anything about it.

The Rest

Coming in the middle of the road are films like 2006′s ABOMINABLE, a Sci-Fi (I still refuse to call it Syfy) Channel Original Movie that had the gumption to mix up the standard Bigfoot plot by bringing in elements of Hitchcock’s REAR WINDOW, as a wheelchair-bound man struggles to warn the giggling co-eds next door that a hungry Sasquatch is on the loose in the vicinity.  The karma this film gains from this clever plot twist was unfortunately negated by a fairly lousy Sasquatch mask and the criminal misuse of Dee Wallace, Lance Henricksen and Jeffrey Combs in stupid, pointless little “look who we got to come to set for 20 minutes!” cameos.

Of similar quality is 2006′s BIGFOOT, distributed through Troma Entertainment.  Featuring a much more expressive suit than ABOMINABLE, it also has the extremely gonzo factor that Bigfoot eats the hearts and livers out of everything (and everyone) he kills! Why? To store of calories for the winter, of course, and it’s up to disgraced former soldier Jack and his love interest, Park Ranger Sandy, to deal with the beast after it rudely disembowels the sheriff.  While kind of bland, storywise, I have to give it some props as it is clearly a labor of love by writer/director Bob Gray, and it always brings a smile to my face to see someone’s movie dreams come true, so kudos to Gray for not only completing a feature film, but getting a distribution deal as well.

Following close on THE LEGEND OF BOGGY CREEK’S heels was 1976′s CREATURE FROM BLACK LAKE, which maintained a semi-documentary feel despite being wholly fictitious.  CREATURE follows two suave Chicagoans who drive down to Louisiana to investigate some Sasquatch sightings, but find the locals unfriendly and unwilling to talk for the most part.  A chance encounter with a local character named Trapper Joe lets them know that Bigfoot is real and in the area, and garners them some advice as to how to see the creature.  Shame they follow up on it…

Also close on LEGEND OF BOGGY CREEK’s heels came two sequels, one unofficial, and the official sequel, known variously as THE BARBARIC BEAST OF BOGGY CREEK and BOGGY CREEK II: AND THE LEGEND CONTINUES, directed by (and starring) the original’s Charles B. Pierce.  While the original was a serious documentary, this is sheer fantasy, a fictitious tale following a professor and his tiny-shorted grad students into Fouke to research the mysterious monster of Boggy Creek.  They find their Bigfoot alright, locked in a barn belonging to backwoods yokel Beardy Tiny-Headband McManBoobs, a filthy, crusty “man” who looks like he could be half-Sasquatch himself.  While Beardy McManBoobs is hoping to make some money off the creature he captured, it turns out it’s a young monster, and its mother is waiting in the woods…

And of Course…Harry

I hadn’t seen HARRY AND THE HENDERSONS since elementary school, though more recently I’d learned that it actually has a bad rap in certain cryptozoological circles, as it has allegedly influenced Sasquatch witnesses, resulting in changing trends in what people are reporting seeing in the deep woods.  Supposedly, pre-1987, witnesses produced much more variable reports, describing creatures with variously-toned pelts (including two-toned, in some cases!), different lengths of hair, posture, etc.  Since HARRY, reports of “8 feet tall, medium-to-dark brown fur, peaked conical skull” have dominated, as Harry has become ingrained in America’s psyche as what a Bigfoot “should” look like and so witnesses who may have only briefly sighted Bigfoot, or in poor light, fill in the details, mentally, using Harry as a blueprint. If that ain’t a credit to Rick Baker’s incredible design work, I don’t know what is.

However, the film cannot be discredited, and must be recognized as the most well-known example of cinematic sasquatchery to be seen.  John Lithgow plays devoted family-man and hunting enthusiast George Henderson, who, while driving home with his family from a camping/hunting trip, accidentally runs over a Bigfoot.  Assuming the beast is dead, he ties it to the top of his car and returns home.  That night, he discovers he’d only stunned the Sasquatch, as it revives and begins rummaging through his refrigerator.  While the Hendersons initially plan to sell Bigfoot for a fat wad of cash, the big ape quickly grows on them, and they adopt him — and must keep him safe from the predations of a bloodthirsty Bigfoot-hunter.

***

There we go.  While by no means a complete listing of movies about Bigfoot, I feel like this is a nice sampler to get the movie-junkie cryptozoologist going.  Bigfoot is a true American legend, one with a sizeable cinematic pedigree that will only get longer so long as cameras and ape-suits can be bought.  And good, bad and indifferent, I’m looking forward to watching them.  And for those of you going camping, keep your flashlights and cameras handy.  You never can tell when a Sasquatch might decide to try and make off with your girlfriend.

There are many nay sayers dwelling within our beloved genre who seem to finally be spent on the zombie phenomenon.  How anyone could ever be tired of zombies is beyond me, but then again, I don’t put dressing on salads, so who are you to trust anything I say?  The thing that I’ve been noticing most about those who are “sick of zombies” is that they’re not necessarily exhausted with our undead friends, but they’re thirsting for an entirely new concept of how we treat the flesh eating dead-heads.  Long gone are the days where it was believable for a character to have absolutely no idea what to do when they found themselves being charged by a stumbling, drooling, moaning, walking corpse.  Some filmmakers still like to live in this fantasy world where we don’t know to aim for the head, and those films, my dear children, usually blow harder than the story sequence from Stand By Me.  Ohio bred director, Justin Buckner in association with Studio On Mars productions has promised a new zom-com short film based on the short story “I, Zombie” by AE Stueve. Starring Joe Brown, Justin Buckner, Larena Crohe, Jaden DeVogel, Jake Greener, James Lovern, Gina Nemecek, Jen Poland, the film surrounds a Post-Zombie Apocalypse society where the nation has begun to rebuild and restore a sense of normalcy.  I found the premise to remind me a bit of S.G. Browne’s BREATHERS, and that isn’t a bad thing in the slightest.  We also need to point out that the absolutely smashing makeup job (and some camera work) was done by The Blood Sprayer’s very own Zach Shildwachter, but he’s too damn modest to ever accept the praise.  The film released its trailer today and all I gotta say, is that I can’t wait to see the thing in its entirety. It’s incredibly inspiring to see someone put a new spin on a monster we all love so much, hopefully more filmmakers will take notice.

Be sure to keep updated on the film with pics, screenings, and other goodies via the

I Am Alive FaceBook Page.

It’s April 1st and the pranks run rampant on the Interwebs. Well instead of some lame ass gag I hope to impart something to you to lift your spirits and not in a rubber vomit and electrocuted door knob kinda way. Here are a collection of faux trailers that I wish were real. The cruelest joke is that these won’t live in my movie collection some day.

From rkssTV, the same purveyors of Le Bagman comes DEMONITRON: The 6th Dimension.

You can check out more of rkssTV on their YouTube Channel.

Remember when Jason Eisener debuted his faux trailer for Hobo with a Shotgun and it became a real feature film? Remember when he held a contest for more faux trailers in celebration of his success? Remember VAN GORE?

For all you Gamers out there, would CLOCK TOWER ring your bell?

Or perhaps you’re more tabletop? How about a riff on the roleplaying games from White Wolf like HUNTER THE RECKONING?

More of a sucker for anime and manga? How about ELFEN LIED?

Or maybe your more of a fan of Foreign Films? Then how about CANADIAN NINJA? Not to be confused with Norwegian Ninja…

And if there’s no pleasing you, then we’re probably related, which means you’ll more than likely be offended by Grindhouse movies and Low Brow Cinema too.

Either way you enjoy it just remember updating your Facebook status this April Fool’s Day (or any other) that you’re having a baby is a sure fire way for you to soon raise the Anti-Christ. Because after all, babies are just as much fun to make as they are to eat.

Happy April Fool’s Day!

This sucker’s confirmed! Synapse does it again with a damn fine Blu Ray/DVD release of Thou Shalt Not Kill Except. It’s everything you might remember from earlier viewing with some excellent special features and nice transfer. It’s not the best transfer Synapse has put out, but the quality of the initial release didn’t leave much to work with. It saw a VHS release in the 80′s from Starmaker Video (for all you VHS heads) and then Anchor Bay had a go. Welcome to the version you want to own. Exploitation Action cinema retrospective starts… NOW.

Thou Shalt Not Kill… Except follows a group of ex military that return home to find an outlandish, damn near crazy cult leader (played by Sam Raimi) in dire need of the kind of therapy only the military can provide. It’s been called the military vs. the Manson family, and Sam Raimi plays an excellent Manson-esque cult leader.  It’s made by the group of friends who are behind The Intruder not limited to but including Bruce Campbell, Ted Raimi, Scott Spiegel and Sam Raimi.

When you watch this movie you need to revel in the special effects. There are sequences that come straight out Evil Dead only on a seemingly lower budget. That makes them pretty bad effects from a realistic stand point, but they are absolutely fun. It’s the reason you would watch a movie like this to begin with. Why’d you think you’d be watching it, for the love story?

It’s a cult classic, and you’ve been waiting for it for some time. Why not pick it up? The making of extra is in depthy, full of interviews with all the people you love. It even features an alternate title sequence for the other title, Stryker’s War. There are shots of Bruce Campbell in the Super 8 version that are borderline hysterical. You’d like to see him in that role. What a versatile performer. The Super 8 version is actually on the disk as is an interview with Mr. Campbell.  This team of filmmakers was the 80′s equivalent of the team behind the Ed Wood pictures.

Enjoy the movie because it’s over the top, stars the nobody you know of (just think of Spiderman when you see Sam Raimi in this one) and because the violence is fake but refreshing. Stay for the special features because you’ll learn something. Indy filmmakers take friggin’ note. April 10th, you know what to do… go to Synapse Films HERE and introduce this to a new generation.

Written by Jimmy Terror  who can be found at Dr. Terror’s Blog of Horrors

Hey at least it’s not another remake right? That’s what I’ve heard said about The Wicker Tree. You know what else I’ve heard? That’s a fine movie that plays to all the original film’s strengths, but can’t possibly touch the original. Yeah, I’ll go with that. I’ll also say that it’s a fun movie for younger horror goers who aren’t as familiar with the original film. Hopefully it can get a few fresh minds looking at pure naked island pagan beauty in all its viciousness. Let’s get specific.

Synopsis (from the Anchor Bay so that I don’t give away the goods):

Basedon Robin Hardy’s acclaimed 2006 novel “Cowboys for Christ,” THE WICKER TREE tells the story of Texas-based singer Beth Boothby (newcomer Brittania Nicol) and her friend Steve Thomson (HenryGarrett), two born-again Christians who come to Scotland to spread the gospel. When their initial efforts are met with disdain and disinterest, they find comfort in an invitation to sing in Tressock, the border fiefdom owned by Sir Lachlan Morrison (Graham McTavish). However, Beth’s and Steve’s message of personal chastity quickly comes into direct conflict withTressock’s sexual and religious practices, drawing upon ancient Celtic beliefs and rituals.Temptations begin to challenge Beth and Steve — with the stakes no less than their very lives and souls… Christopher Lee, who played the mysterious Lord Summerisle in the original,returns again in a dramatic cameo. Rounding out the cast are Jacqueline Leonard as Lady DeliaMorrison, Clive Russell as Beame, James Mapes as Reverend Moriarty and Honeysuckle Weeks as Lolly.

First off, and I don’t think I’m spoiling a god damn thing, Chris Lee is but a footnote in this movie. I know you were all wondering how much screen time he’d get. Well it’s not enough to make you want to see the movie if that’s the only reason you’re considering see it. He’s fantastic… for a few moments and the gone. The film reaches back only in a few basic concepts to the Wicker Man. It’s not a true sequel. You won’t feel like Lord Summerisle is gonna walk up a hill to a giant man made out of branches that will enventually become the funeral pyre for an unsuspecting police officer. Yes, there are unsuspecting potential victim, but they’re not the bobby’s you’re looking for.

The Wicker Tree has a few nice gore sequences. You’ll enjoy every bit that this film has to offer. It’s not reinventing the video camera, but it’s not boring either. At least one of the effects had me thinking Wake Wood. It’s just that type of blood and guts. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised by some of the effects selections especially having their direction have significance to the story rather than just being thrown in for flavor.

I found myself rooting against the protagonists. I guess the whole Christian missionary thing didn’t sit well with me. I don’t think it sat well with the locals either. The point at which you start rooting for the bad guys you better hope that there’s at least one fun kill sequence, and for that the Wicker Tree does have an answer.

It’s nice to know that Robin Hardy believes in these stories enough to continue with them. The original Wicker Man was an X Rated vision of pagan hedonism and human sacrifice. This is truly no different, but tells a unique story all its own. Having not read the book it’s based on, I cannot speak to its adaptation, but Cowboys for Christ sounds like it’s worth checking out. This is not the bomb you think it might be, but you have to be ready to have some fun, enjoy some nudie cuties running around spouting spiritual gibberish and put up with a more than one hymn.

Written by Jimmy Terror  who can be found at Dr. Terror’s Blog of Horrors

Men in Black: The Dark Watcher’s is the latest from Chemical Burn Entertainment that will be dropping on DVD April 10th.  With that in mind, lets get to it.

OK, I’m gonna try and explain this the best that I can. Men In Black (original title by the way) is about a group of English women that are infatuated with UFO’s and go out believing that they will some day catch one on film for the whole world to see. One day they return home and realize that they are missing 4 hours from their day, and have no recollection what happened during that time. So they call their UFO blogger friend who tells them that hundred’s of people are reporting similar time lapses of exactly 4 hours. He then shows them some video he took while interviewing someone who has a black rash starting to spread ever since his incident.  Soon a mysterious man in a black suit begins to watch over the women, never doing or saying anything to them.  That’s when the black rashes begin, and the questions begin.

I wish I could comprehend exactly what was happening, but I have no idea what was being splashed across the screen during the final act.  Little to no dialog was spoken between the three women as they continued to find black rashes over their bodies.  Add to that the mysterious black suited individual who would just stand around, once again doing nothing.  It felt like I was watching a music video that just wouldn’t end.  Then it did, and then there was a 6 minute music video after the credits (which had more plot structure than the feature film).

I must admit that writer/director Phillip Gardner is extremely talented.  The movie looks fantastic and has some cleaver and stylish camera work in it.  It just feels like his movies are all about a style at the expense of plot.  This is the second of his movies I’ve seen, the first one, The Stone, felt very much the same.  Similar to that movie, the star of the show felt like it was the music with occasional 2-3 minutes of continuous music playing while watching the actors get dressed, cleaned up, and eating.

Finally, for you horror buffs out there keep in mind that Men in Black: The Dark Watcher’s is a straight science fiction tale.  No blood, guts, kills, or scares of any type are to be had throughout.  So if that’s what you’re looking for, look elsewhere.  But if you’re into alien abductions and sightings, you may get something out of it.  If you do, please feel free to share.  I’d love to figure out exactly what the hell was going on.

It’s not very often that we receive two pieces of short film at that same time to review for the same director. Needless to say that this fits in with the retro/grindhouse vibe we like to offer our readers here at the Blood Sprayer. Give a great big bloody hug to Davide Melini, Italian film director who has worked as assistant director on Mother of Tears alongside the great Dario Argento. Before you get all star struck make sure to realize that Argento is only a man, he’s films are not divine and yes, his daughter is hot (my words not his). Sit back, relax and take the time to check out Senore Melini’s films. Reviews to follow below.

The Sweet Hand of the White Rose

Synopsis:

How many times have you had a bad day? How many times have you thought you would run away from everyone and everything? That is exactly what happens to Mark. In order to forget about a heated discussion with his girlfriend, he decides to get in the car and go far away. But a little mistake will change his reality forever…

THE PUZZLE

Synopsis:

A woman refuses to give money to her son, despite of his continuous pressure. One night she decides to relax and forget her troubles with her favorite pastime: making puzzle. However, this simple table game hides strange features that can turn her peaceful night into a nightmare. “There is always a piece in the puzzle of your life that does not fit”

I’d like to see you shoot a movie for 300 Euros and have it end up in the finals of sixteen festivals. It’s also seen some TV screen time.

To follow along with Davide Melini’s progress through the celluloid universe check out his blog HERE. To listen to HORROR RISES FROM SPAIN’s interview with him go HERE (I strongly encourage you to enjoy this cast… very good). Davide’s shorts have been winning him accolaids and awards as well as being selected for numerous film festivals. Clearly a talented man to keep your eyes on.

Written by Jimmy Terror  who can be found at Dr. Terror’s Blog of Horrors

So you know how all these remakes are making the horror community flippity flop around like a bunch of fish gasping for the air of fresh material? Well, how about a sequel rather than a remake? Chris Lee makes it back to some pretty creepy roots to bring us The Wicker Tree. Before you get up in arms about the studios cashing in on another piece of classic cinema I’ve heard some good things so far. We’ll have a review up STAT to get you in the know and ready to spend your dough.

Synposis:

Basedon Robin Hardy’s acclaimed 2006 novel “Cowboys for Christ,” THE WICKER TREE tells the story ofTexas-based singer Beth Boothby (newcomer Brittania Nicol) and her friend Steve Thomson (HenryGarrett), two born-again Christians who come to Scotland to spread the gospel. When their initialefforts are met with disdain and disinterest, they find comfort in an invitation to sing inTressock, the border fiefdom owned by Sir Lachlan Morrison (Graham McTavish).

However, Beth’s and Steve’s message of personal chastity quickly comes into direct conflict withTressock’s sexual and religious practices, drawing upon ancient Celtic beliefs and rituals.Temptations begin to challenge Beth and Steve — with the stakes no less than their very lives andsouls…

Christopher Lee, who played the mysterious Lord Summerisle in the original,returns again in a dramatic cameo. Rounding out the cast are Jacqueline Leonard as Lady DeliaMorrison, Clive Russell as Beame, James Mapes as Reverend Moriarty and Honeysuckle Weeks asLolly.

This Anchor Bay release has some promise.

If the scientific method dictates anything about the release of a movie than this puppy should have you think what happen when John Huges directs an undead flick based on a novel by S.E. Hinton. The Terror Experiment starring Robert Carradine (Revenge of the Nerds), Judd Nelson (The Breakfast Club), C. Thomas Howell (The Outsdiers) and Jason London (Mall Rats) will be coming to you this April. Get ready for a flashback that is induced by the shear power of synthesizer blast beats rather than LSD.

SYNOPSIS

A terrorist sets off an explosion that rocks the Federal Building and unleashes a toxic gas throughout the ventilationsystem. His purpose: to expose the Government’s secret biological warfare weapon, a deadly virusthat instantly attacks a person’s adrenal system, causing them to become inhumanly aggressive, withan uncontrollable urge to kill each other.

Kaor, Brothers and Sisters of the Psychotronic Video World! I’ve just now returned from seeing JOHN CARTER.  While I know I’d said, in my last article on the subject, that I’d be there opening night, circumstances that I won’t bore you with prevented me from doing so.  Suffice to say, I have seen it, and it is Good.

Is it 100% faithful to the source text? FUCK NO! It blends elements of the original novel A PRINCESS OF MARS with the immediate sequel GODS OF MARS, but also introduces a fair amount of new material.  While some purists might ragespasm at this (are there ERB-purists left? I hope so.  Burroughs’ work is so massively underappreciated these days), my hygiene is pretty good and I’ve known the touch of a woman, so I can open my eyes enough to recognize that while there are differences and there is new material, it adds to the film.  Because it all interlocks beautifully with the spirit of Burroughs’ writing.  This isn’t Shakespeare or five-act plays or any such bullshit.  Hell, I won’t pretend Burroughs’ writing is good literature.  But it strikes a chord in the human spirit; pure escapism, it allows us to come home from our miserable, soul-crushing jobs and put on John Carter or Tarzan or David Innes like a suit, becoming the hero and throwing off the shackles of reality for a while to fight Zodangans or the cult of Opar or hypnotic pterodactyls from the Earth’s Core.

The trick is that Edgar Rice Burroughs hit on the perfect hero.  Tarzan and John Carter (it’s not quite as clear with David Innes) have the physiques of Olympian heroes.  Muscular without being a circus freak, and with a handsome face to boot.  But at the same time, they’re bumbling, good-natured schmoes like the rest of us.  Despite being New Adonises (Adoni?), John Carter and his brethren stumble over their own tongues around beautiful women and invariably manage to accidentally insult the woman they have feelings for.  John Carter’s is my favorite (sadly not shown in the film) in that it results in Dejah Thoris telling him he’s unfit to polish the teeth of her grandmother’s Barsoomian cat-analogue.  These heroes are superhuman, but at the same time all-too-human.

But anyways, back to the film itself.  Visually stunning, though I felt like the landscapes of Barsoom could have been tinted a little more red to differentiate them from the Arizona hills of the film’s beginning, which I think is something that worked against the film — other than the nine-foot-tall four-armed Green Men and eight-legged horse-analogues and airships, there’s nothing particularly otherworldly or interplanetary here.  The landscape just looks like Utah.

Any quibbles I have with the film itself I can say in all honesty don’t matter and didn’t harm my enjoyment of the film in the least.  Would I have liked the Thoats to have yellow underbellies? Yes.  Does it really matter? No.  Would I have liked Woola to have a defined mane and longer tusks? Yes.  Does it really matter? Not in the slightest.

I’d had some concerns about the casting of Taylor Kitsch as John Carter, but he really impressed me; it’s not the way I would have written John Carter, but given the need to bow to some degree of 21st-century audience sensibilities, I liked what he did with what he was given.  I was blown away by the casting in general; whoever said, “Hey, let’s see if Willem Dafoe wants to voice Tars Tarkas” should get a goddamned Oscar.  James Purefoy brought the same wild irreverence and cockiness to Heliumite soldier Kantos Kan as he did to Marc Antony in HBO’s ROME; and speaking of ROME, casting Gaius Julius Caesar himself (Ciarán Hinds) as Jeddak, or ruler, of the City of Helium was a stroke of genius; not only did Hinds distinguish himself in the role (which was about as far from Caesar as possible), but he and Purefoy together brought a wonderful sense of ancient-world aristocracy to the picture.

Mark Strong distinguished himself nicely as the villainous Matai Shang, delivering a performance rich with immortal ennui and sedate, matter-of-fact villainy in a role that could easily have devolved into Snidely Whiplash mustache-twirling.

Lynn Collins as Dejah Thoris stole the show, however, carrying herself with grace and poise befitting the royal scion while just as easily slipping into Warrior-Princess mode; a fun scene has John Carter thrust her behind him as he moves to take on a gaggle of swordsmen; with a wry smirk and matching comment, she lays hands on a sword and proves herself every bit as competent a swordsman as he is, if not more so.  Her performance really made me fall in love with the character all over again, and she makes a damn fine role-model for girls, being strong of both mind and body, willing to sacrifice for the greater good, and doing so with elegance and charm lacking from the “Riot Grrrl” stereotype so often passed off as a “strong woman.”

What I do take issue with is the piss-poor job the Disney Corporation did in advertising this film.  Trailers were not cut in a way conducive to enticing audiences to the film, and the fact that the title was shorted from JOHN CARTER OF MARS to simply JOHN CARTER damned the film from the get-go; John Carter is not a huge recognizable property these days, so failing to put any sort of effort or energy into selling it to the unwashed masses means OF COURSE IT’S GOING TO FAIL AT THE BOX OFFICE! I hereby formally invite the Disney Corporation to pull its collective cock out of the eleven-year-old coked up Singaporean prostitute they’ve got it buried in and gleefully fuck itself right in its soulless corporate eye-sockets.  This film could have done fantastic business if you’d put a quantum of effort into selling it.

And to all the unibrowed pud-pulling fucks calling themselves critics and reviewers who called JOHN CARTER derivative of STAR WARS and AVATAR, may you choke on your own ignorant bile.  John Carter was leaping across Barsoom decades before George Lucas was a twinkle in the mailman’s eye.  Do your fucking research before you start slapping your bloated flipper-like hands against the keyboard.

JOHN CARTER was the best film I’ve seen in twenty years.  Not on the grounds of story, acting, special effects…but because it made me feel something genuine.  Watching this movie took me back to the first time I picked up the books; caused me to re-experience the same sense of breathless wonder and greatness.  And that’s more than I can say for every other overwrought pile of monkey shit Hollywood has foisted on us.

All I can say is wait till you see the potential swag that might accompany your donation to the film Yellow, neo-giallo in the making. In their own words, The “giallo film revival rolls on”, and I couldn’t agree more.  All we need is the next Goblin to step up to the plate to write some scores that catch our J&B tainted fancy. I assure you that this has nothing to do with the Argento flop Giallo in which Adrien Brody plays Adrien Brody playing an actor in a giallo movie.

So here’s how you can help. Stop over HERE and donate some of your hard earned cash to “the cause”. Make this self funded project a group effort. There are plenty of leather gloves to go around. While I say give them your green feel free to give them monies in any color from whatever currency your can shimmy out of your pockets. It is a global effort.

Check out the swag. They just had to put that damn VHS tape front and center.

Make sure to stop by their website to keep updated on the release, film festival appearances etc. HERE.

Bane starts out with four women being drugged and waking up inside a testing facility. Their memories have been erased, and if it wasn’t for a bracelet they wouldn’t even know their names. Shortly after waking up the women are introduced to Dr. Murdoch, who begins to question the women one on one about anything they might remember. Shortly afterwards they are subjected to brain wave tests as they are forced to watch horrible scenes flash across a movie screen (similar to A Clockwork Orange). That night, one of the women wakes up with a number carved into her flesh. No coincidence, a mad butcher type doctor shows up at exactly that time to kill her. Night by night the mad butcher continues to show up, until it’s time to try and escape.

Bane started out very promising.  I enjoy a good mystery as much as the next guy, and waking up in a testing facility hit all the right marks for me.  I’ve also always liked the mad doctor type characters, and Daniel Jordan as Dr. Murdock was fantastic!  The four women prisoners were also all wonderfully acted, and each with a different personality which really helped to relate to them.  Kudos to Sophia Dawnay as Katherine, Tina Barnes as Natasha, Lisa Devlin as Jane, and Sylvia Robson as Elaine.  They all did a fantastic job carrying the first two-thirds of the movie.

Now for the last third.  After finally escaping, the movie flips from a slasher type horror movie to a science fiction movie, and it completely lost me.  I understand director James Eaves was trying to think outside the box and not have a regular paint by numbers horror movie, but sometimes simpler is better.  Also on the downside is the horrendous set pieces.  Obviously when watching low budget movies (which I do quite a bit) you have to account for budget restraints, but locking the women in what looks like the metal gates used in shopping malls when the stores are closing, and tossing a piece of plastic over everything just doesn’t cut it.  The special effects were also well done, save for the laugh out loud electrocution scenes when anyone touched the metal bars.  That idea should have just been scraped from the get go.  Finally,  at nearly two hours in length, Bane is a bit on the long winded side.  I wish it would’ve been about twenty minutes shorter (and not just because I wish the ending wasn’t there).

All in all Bane is an uneven work.  Things start off strong and promising, but are ruined in the final act when everything is flipped on it’s head.  There are definitely worse low budget movies out there, but I cannot recommend Bane wholehearted.  The movie shows some real promise from director James Eaves, and I hope to see what he does in the future.  Bane is being released on April 10th from Chemical Burn Entertainment.

It’s been many years since I’ve visited the mysterious town of Silent Hill. Most of the games since their heyday on the Playstation 2 have been sub-par, giving me no incentive to rush out to play them. However, thanks to my loving wife, Silent Hill: Downpour was waiting for me in the mailbox on release day and I was stoked to jump right in.

Our protagonist this time is prison inmate Murphy Pendleton.  After a brief tutorial level where Murphy murders another unarmed prisoner in the showers, he is being transferred to a different facility.  On the way, a bus accident leaves Murphy free in the wilderness just outside everyone’s favorite vacation hot spot.  While journeying through the woods we meet prison guard Cunningham who seems to have it out for Murphy.  Cunningham tries to cross a small ledge while holding Murphy at gunpoint, only to slip.  Here we get the first karma choice whether you should help her, or leave her.  From there  its all about survival as Murphy tries to find a way out of Silent Hill with his life and his sanity.  To get there you’ll travel through a diner, the tourist destination The Devil’s Pit, the local radio station, a monastery,and finally back to prison.

At it’s core, Downpour is a welcome addition to the past Silent Hill games.  The game is once again chock full of creepy locales, and filled with mind bending puzzles.  Always one of Silent Hill’s best assets is the music and spooky sound effects, and as usual this game delivers the goods.  The game also has a handful of well played jump scares that are quite effective.  Finally, the plot and character voices are wonderful.  I always enjoyed the Silent Hill games more than most horror franchises because of the attention given to the plots.  They never strayed off course like other franchises to become action filled gore games with no emphasis on story.  Thanks for that Konami!

Now the negatives, and unfortunately there are a few.  The game play in Downpour is more combat based than past Silent Hill games, and that would be fine if the combat wasn’t so mediocre.  The controls were spotty at times, and the monsters were not frightening or original in the least.  I really missed the freaky nurses and of course Pyramid Head in this game.  Also from a game play standpoint, how hard would it be to list on screen what it is they want you to pick up?  Dozens of times I would be walking in the dark when it would pop up to pick up something, only to toss my axe for a brick.  Finally, the version I played was the Playstation 3 version, and it was extremely buggy.  Constant screen freezes and jerks really got annoying, especially during the second half of the game.  It got so bad that every time the game would auto save I had to stop what I was doing because if I didn’t the game would lock up and I’d have to restart my system.  In my opinion it is unacceptable to put out a product with this many glitches, and for fans I would recommend holding off for the eventual patch that will hopefully cure this issue before playing this.  I did not try the game on my 360, so I cannot comment on if that version has the same issues.

On a technical standpoint, Downpour took me about fourteen hours to play through the main campaign, and the thirteen side missions that are available to you during your first play through.  Those of you looking for trophies and achievements will be playing the game at least twice to fulfill your side missions and karma decisions.  The game has a total of six different endings, I was able to unlock three of them during my time with the game.  Although short, they really did make a huge difference how things played out in the end.

Fans of past Silent Hill games should find a lot to enjoy in Downpour.  Although glitchy, the game gives you the classic feel of past Silent Hill games.  If you’re new to the franchise, I’d recommend starting with the Silent Hill Collection which upgrades two of the best chapters in the series, parts 2 and 3.  And for those of you lucky enough to have the new Playstation Vita, Silent Hill:  Book of Memories comes out next week.  Fans of horror games, Konami is giving you plenty of options this month to take a trip that you’ll never forget.  A trip to Silent Hill.

Dan Riesser has opened the venue to all ages and released his smash hit short film NIGHT OF THE PUNKS online. Having garnered several festival awards from heavy hitters like Thriller! Chiller! Film Fest to being officially selected in almost 20+ statewide film festivals goes to show that this ooze spewing little ditty knows how to continuously rock its audiences. Riesser has officially released the short film in its entirety at www.nightofthepunks.com in hopes of finally turning it into a feature length film.

Help support turning this project into a full fledged film by giving it a look, spreading the word and even buying some merch. Check out this super swanky THE BRAIN DEADS t-shirt.

Dan also recently took 20th place out of 171 entries to Alamo Drafthouse Films’ ABCs of Death Short Film contest with his entry T is for Tickles.

Find more of Dan Riesser and Irrational Films on:

Facebook

Tumblr

Twitter

Victor and Jim doing what they do best...

BS: For starters, tell us about yourself and how you came to be a lover of film.

VB: Well, I’m a filmmaker from Long Island New York.  I’ve been making little movies since I got my first camcorder for x-mas at like 11 or 12 years old.   As far back as I can remember, I have always loved movies.  When I was really young, my older sisters would dress me up play Rock Horror Picture Show for me.  They were both into punk and underground film so, I was introduced to all that shit early on.  But when I was like 10 or 11 my mom rented  “The Shining” for me. It scared me so fucking bad, that I liked it.  It got me into the horror genre for sure. It also got me really interested in directors.  I  obsessed about the film, read everything I could about it, and then eventually got really into the director, Stanley Kubrick.   I liked older movies more, especially  from the 70′s. I started getting  into other directors like Scorsese and Hitchcock, and tried to watch everything they did.  As I got older, it was all about the VHS horror section at the mom and pop store, horror magazines,  horror conventions.  Now my life and  pretty much revolves around film.

VB: Well, originally,  I had bought the distribution rights to put out Jim’s early work:  Twenty five never-before-seen 8mm films.   Everything he’d made from the time he was 11 years old to his college years.  Really great stuff.  Little Jim Van Bebber doing these  epic backyard productions, starring all the neighborhood kids.  Even at an early age there are inventive camera tricks, stop-motion animation, sea monsters, decapitations, alien attacks. Then there are the grittier, bloody, kung fu-inspired films, like  “White Trash”,  about an underground fight club run by the local mob.  Great locations, real actors, well choreographed fight scenes, etc. They’re all really advanced and you can see the talent and love of movie making in just these films.  So, after seeing this stuff and already being a fan of his other  films, I just thought it would make a great documentary.  I already had these 25 films that begin to tell the story of an unappreciated, honest  American filmmaker.  All I had to do was fill in the cracks and bring everything up to date..   So, I asked Jim and he agreed to it.  At that point, my job had just put me on the salary payroll and I had, for the first time in my life, a week’s paid vacation to use.   So, I put in for my vacation and I booked a flight to California to meet Jim.  Three years later and here we are.

VB: There are a lot of stories people tell in the documentary. Phil (Anselmo of Pantera fame) talks a lot about the tour he did in Europe with his band DOWN where Jim, and frequent partner Mike King, went along to make a documentary- there’s some wild stories there for sure!   There are actually a lot of interesting stories that came out in the LA Interviews.  Jim had lived out there, I believe, post-Manson Family and I just feel like it was two worlds colliding; you have the “Hollywood” system and then Jim Van Bebber,  the personification of  everything Hollywood is not.   The independent horror and cult scene out there is associated with over-hyped directors like Adam Green, who make silly movies like “Hatchet”. So, there was definitely a clash of personalities.  Jim came into that town like Clint Eastwood or something,  ready to shake up their little Tinseltown, and they just weren’t ready for it.

after a 16mm screening of "Deadbeat At Dawn"

BS: Without giving too much of the film away, what was the most shocking thing you discovered while shooting?

VB: The most shocking thing?  I guess it’s not really shocking, but all the projects and scripts Jim was attached to.  He was originally supposed to direct the Toolbox Murders remake.  He wrote a dynamite script for it that would have been so much better than that shit that was later released.  There is just a pile of incredible scripts that are waiting to be made.  There’s a script on Al Capone called  “Capone: The King of Crime” that would blow “The Untouchables” away. There’s an Iraq war script he wrote with Sage Stallone (head of Grindhouse Releasing), a voodoo biker film, even a sequel to Deadbeat at Dawn. I’m shocked that these films have never seen the light of day.

Again, I don’t know if this is shocking, but interesting was the fact that Jim had been involved as an actor in this whole other world of underground films on the West Coast.  Underground filmmakers like Joe Bosco, who makes these really serious, drug influenced, seedy, road films has used Jim on a number of occasions as an actor and even a fight choreographer.  Then, there’s Las Vegas filmmaker Ron Atkins who directed Jim in his psychedelic violent opus “The Cuckoo Clocks Of Hell” as one of the lead characters.  I was able to get interviews with a lot of these filmmakers and it just brings out another side of Jim, as like a tough guy actor.   Regardless of the budget or  the subject matter,  Jim puts in these powerful, unhinged performances.

VB: Everything is out of pocket.  That’s why it takes me so long to get shit done.  I’m broke,  I’m unemployed, and I have decided to dedicate myself to my film projects, so that’s really all I do.   I’m always editing, trying to set up an interview, scheduling this, getting that developed.  It’s constant but I love it!  I love that kind of controlled chaos.  It’s never boring. For the past couple of years, a lot of my time has been dedicated to this documentary.  There’s over 35 talking heads in this doc, and the majority of the interviews were done with just me travelling around and doing interviews whenever possible.  Anytime I had a little extra money, I would put it towards the doc.  Went to LA twice to compile interviews, hosted Jim at a horror convention in Ohio, toured the place he grew up, and then went to Florida while Jim prepares to make a new film.  It’s never felt overwhelming though, because I feel like it’s all worth it.

Victor working on another project

BS: Talk about some of the best moments you had with Jim Van Bebber while filming this.  Whether tense or completely hilarious, what were the finest moments in making this documentary for you?

VB: Wow, man there’s been so many to be honest with you, but if I were to narrow it down to one, it’s got to be the whole Cinema Wasteland Convention in Strongsville, Ohio.  If your not familiar with it, (Oh, we’re familiar!! We LOVE Wasteland!!-Ed.) Cinema Wasteland is a small horror, exploitation and drive-in convention that takes place over the course of a weekend.  This is where the real cult fans go, where underground filmmakers like Bill Zebub and Fred Vogel are rightfully celebrated.   People actually go to screenings, panels are packed up;  it’s the most laid back show and also the craziest fucking party.   The convention hours end and your in this hotel filled with all these crazy horror fans.   Jim is almost like the Ohio cult film hero.  He’s from Ohio and made his classic gang film “Deadbeat at Dawn” there, amongst most of his other films, too.  At Wasteland, he was back at  home and everyone wanted to party with him.  It was really amazing though, because a lot of his old friends and people he has worked with had come out to see him.  And the amount of fans that came out to see Jim was what was really cool.  There were so many things people brought to get signed like original VHS copies of his films, nun-chucks, posters. That’s what I loved about Cinema Wasteland- the fans really love and appreciate the low budget underground world.  Everything about the weekend was crazy,  from the “Dead Beat at Dawn Reunion” panel, which was just the most rowdy Q & A you can imagine, people at the show were comparing it to a G.G. Allin performance or something.  Legendary, insightful, unpredictable and off the wall… and the camera was rolling for most of it!  It was just a legendary weekend.

VB: Maybe the people that don’t know him that well?  I think some people are intimidated by him because he’s just an intense guy, and his films are intense, but I don’t think anybody hates him.  There’s a lot of different opinions on him and his films, as you can see just from the trailer, but people are interested in him nonetheless.  No one makes movies and dedicates themselves to film like Jim does, and when he’s not working he gets frustrated. Maybe people don’t understand that, but that’s what I am hoping to show.  How it actually is to live a life as an uncompromising, outlaw filmmaker.

VB: It’s because they don’t censor themselves and do exactly what they want.    “Combat Shock” is exactly how Buddy G envisioned it, ya’ know?  And he was able to work on some bigger budgets films and have a good career as well.  They make the films that want without compromise, they push the limits,  and don’t second guess themselves.  I would think that any filmmaker wants to be successful, at least to the point where they can make the movies they want without taking years to do it.

VB: Well, I just finished up a couple music videos. One for this metal band in Boston called SEXCREMENT.  It’s a real nasty video.   Jim makes a cameo in that as a meth addict and it stars one of my great friends, Linnea Quigley, as a woman who runs a bar that sells meth piss. I shot all the piss collecting footage on super 8, so it looks real filthy. Drag Queens, angry meth heads, junkie moms, real piss- its a trashy, sex, drugs and rock and roll overload.

This summer Chainsaw Kiss is starting production on a film called “Shitfucked: A Vile Love Story,” a raunchy lesbian love story written by Hannah Neurotica.  And then, of course, I would love to finish “Blood Wings” this year, but that won’t happen unless I came into a big chunk of money.  Its a feature film that we started shooting almost 4 years ago now on 16mm.  The process of shooting on 16mm film becomes so expensive with all the developing and transfer fees, but I love the process. It’s a different experience and I like the look of it a lot more.  I’m set on trying to finish at least shooting that this year.

VB: I wasn’t surprised that Phil Anselmo was a fan. I knew they were friends, but he tells this story in his interview how  the first time he met Jim he wrote him a check for $5,000 to give towards the “Manson Family.”  It showed how much people respect and believe in his work, that even on the first time of meeting him, Phil was such a fan that he wanted to help out with what Jim was working on at the time.

   Probably the most surprising though was Vincent Gallo.   I found out he was a huge fan of Jim’s and then tried to get him in the doc.  I had this crazy conversation with him one time over the phone where he told me how much he loved “Deadbeat at Dawn” and how he would love to be the star of a film that Jim would direct.  It was a a surreal phone conversation. Unfortunately, it actually never went past that and I wasn’t able to get an interview with him in the documentary. That would have been a great interview.

Flyer from Cinema Wasteland screening...

BS: Who are your influences as a filmmaker, aside from JVB?  What are some of your favorite flicks?

VB: If I was to keep it to just filmmakers? Kubrick, John Waters, Paul Bartel, Walter Hill,  Sam Peckinpah, Frank Hennenlotter, David Lynch, Martin Scorcese, Jodoworski, Polanski, early Wes Craven, Fred Dekker, Richard Kern, Sylvester Stallone, Herschel Gordon Lewis, Argento, John Hughes, Dennis Hopper, and Paul Schroeder.   Some of my favorite flicks are Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Wanderers, Into the Blue, Legend, The Garbage Pail Kids, Monster Squad, Cape Fear, First Blood, The Shining, Sleepaway Camp, Return to OZ, Night of the Living Dead, May, Creature from the Black Lagoon, Street Trash, Paradise Lost, Bad Dreams, Savage Streets,  Amityville Horror 2, Carrie, and I Spit On Your Grave.

VB: Well, I’m getting a website together soon for Chainsaw Kiss.  I’ll have updates there.  I’m trying to have this done in a few months and then start maybe trying to play some festivals and shit.  Since I started working on features, this doc and my film, Blood Wings…I haven’t been able to submit anything in a while. I always enjoyed the festival experience.  You meet a lot of interesting people, and you get to almost screen test your film to an unknown audience. But I guess just find me on the internet. Sometimes I post stuff on my youtube/chainsawkiss.  As for the documentary subject itself, if people aren’t familiar with him- Jim Van Bebber is one of those filmmakers that comes around every 50 years.  A literal born filmmaker.  Some one who had to do it as a kid, and someone who has to do it now.  One of those filmmakers who will not compromise his work, and has to struggle to make his film.  His films and his fans are unlike any other, and his story is original and real.  This documentary is raw, honest, straight forward, and a real look at someone who was born, lives, eats, shits, and sleeps film. It also gives you a look into the real underground film world and what its like to live the life of a dedicated filmmaker.    Keep supporting independent film and keep a look out for it.  Thanks, Wes.

Greetings, Brothers and Sisters of the Psychotronic Video World. I have for you today, in my grave-mold-stained bag of tricks, three films bound together by two definite links. First, they all deal in some regard with that ultimate Antagonist, the Prince of Darkness himself, Lucifer. Second, they are, in my opinion, absolutely brilliant pieces of cinema that never really got the respect they deserved. Unfortunately, the nature of these links, and the nature of these films, makes it deucedly difficult to discuss without throwing around spoilers like a monkey throws around feces. So I’m going to make this very clear up front.

THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS SPOILERS REGARDING THREE FILMS THAT RELY ON INTELLIGENT WRITING AND THE VIEWER’S OWN INTELLECTUAL CAPACITY TO CREATE A SENSE OF TENSION, RATHER THAN THROWING A BUCKET OF PIG INTESTINES AT THE CAMERA AND CALLING IT A DAY. THESE FILMS ARE JACQUES TOURNEUR’S 1957 FILM NIGHT OF THE DEMON, 1987’S ANGEL HEART STARRING ROBERT DE NIRO AND MICKEY ROURKE, AND ROMAN POLANSKI’S 1999 FILM THE NINTH GATE STARRING JOHNNY DEPP AND FRANK LANGELLA. IF YOU WOULD PREFER TO AVOID SPOILERS, GO RENT THIS MOVIES NOW.

Alright, that being said, let’s get crackalackin’, readers.

NIGHT OF THE DEMON (1957)

Not to be confused with the 1980s horror-sex-comedy NIGHT OF THE DEMONS, NIGHT OF THE DEMON (retitled for US release as CURSE OF THE DEMON), is a British-lensed adaptation of M.R. James’ ghost story “Casting the Runes,” written in 1911, directed by Jacques Tourneur from a script by Charles Bennett and starring Dana Andrews, Peggy Cummins and Niall MacGinnis.

The film follows an American psychologist, Dr. John Holden (Andrews), come to England to attend a psychology conference at which his colleague, Dr. Harrington, intended to expose the actions of Dr. Julian Karswell, a noted Satanic cult leader, as mere legerdemain. Upon arriving in England, Holden learns that Dr. Harrington has died under mysterious circumstances.

Investigating Harrington’s death, Holden is brought into contact with Dr. Karswell, a tubby, rubber-faced little man with an unruly mop of curly hair who lives in his mother’s house. Though rejecting the possibility of the supernatural, Holden finds himself more and more unnerved by Karswell as he sifts through clues and feels an overwhelming and suffocating force of evil growing around him.

Eventually, Holden learns that Karswell is delivering curses to those who would oppose him – a slip of parchment, inscribed with ancient runes of power, delivered to the recipient of the curse, and capable of being passed on to others…until such time as the parchment self-incinerates. Holden has received such a parchment, and must now try desperately to return it to Karswell to break the curse upon himself, and allow the coming evil to consume Karswell instead.

While the most memorable image emerging from the film is actually a publicity still of the bloodthirsty demon, surprisingly enough it originally was not going to appear at all.  Producer Hal Chester inserted the monster into the film over the objections of director Tourneur and writer Charles Bennett, on the grounds that in a film entitled NIGHT OF THE DEMON, audiences damn well wanted to see a demon! (I call this The BEAST WITH A MILLION EYES Principle.)

ANGEL HEART (1987)

This is one of my all-time favorite films, directed by Alan Parker from the 1978 novel Falling Angel by William Hjortsberg and starring Mickey Rourke (pre-disfiguring plastic surgery), Robert De Niro (at his motherfucking prime), and Lisa Bonet (in the sexual role that got her booted from The Cosby Show).

New York City, 1955.  Private Eye and general schmoe Harry Angel (Rourke) is hired by cynical, debonair Louis Cyphre (De Niro) to investigate a missing person; namely, big band crooner Johnny Favorite, who disappeared during the War.  Cyphre’s interest is purely business – if Favorite is dead, then “certain collateral” falls to Cyphre.  And while Favorite’s last known whereabouts are a mental institution in Poughkeepsie, due to bureaucratic runaround Cyphre doesn’t know if Favorite is alive or dead.

Angel soon learns that Favorite checked out of the mental hospital in 1943; the doctors falsified his records for years. Investigating further, several leads guide Angel to New Orleans, bringing him deep into the heart of Voodoo Country.

To make matters more complicated, every witness Angel talks to soon winds up very, very messily dead.  How messily dead? One man is choked to death on his own severed scrotum, that’s how messily dead.  Add a sexed up voodoo priestess by the name of Epiphany Proudfoot (Bonet), supposedly sired by the devil himself, and now Angel is in a hell of a mess, and looking to Louis Cyphre for answers.

What a fantastic film.  Even if De Niro had never done TAXI DRIVER, RAGING BULL, or THE UNTOUCHABLES, this would cement him in my perception as one of the finest actors of the 20th century.  Mephistopheles is not an easy role to perform, but De Niro handles it with such grace and suavity…and hell, he makes eating a hardboiled egg menacing.  Who else can do that? No one, that’s who.  There was some talk a few years back about remaking this (I normally don’t get enraged about remakes, but thinking about this being remade makes my heart hurt), but that seems to have quietly died out.

THE NINTH GATE (1999)

Say what you will about child molester Roman Polanski, the man knows how to make a movie.  And as for this film’s lead, Johnny Depp…MAN, is it refreshing to see him NOT slathered in enough white greasepaint to choke an Insane Clown Posse concert.  Hey Tim Burton, you know there’s this thing called the color palette, right? Depp is a legitimately very talented actor, and it is delightful getting to see him exercise that to the fullest, rather than being a mincing Keith Richards caricature or a gaunt idol for lonely goth girls to fingerbang themselves to.

Depp appears as Dean Corso, an unscrupulous buyer and seller of rare books (we first meet him as he swindles the family of a paralyzed stroke victim out of an incredible fortune in old folios), is contacted by Boris Balkan (Frank Langella), a collector of occult texts, and asked to perform a simple task of authenticating Balkan’s latest acquisition — a copy of The Nine Gates of the Kingdom of Shadows, by noted heretic Aristide Torchia, one of three alleged to have survived Torchia’s burning at the stake — against the other two copies, existing in private collections in Portugal and France.  For this, Corso has been given, essentially, a blank check.  Cha-ching.

Unfortunately, things are not so easy.  The closest thing Corso has to a friend, colleague Bernie, soon turns up dead…and posed to match one of the engravings in The Nine Gates.  Before long, mysterious individuals are gunning for Corso, killing everyone he encounters, except for a singularly mysterious young woman who seems to be protecting Corso.

Ultimately, Corso figures out that the “key” to the Nine Gates — nine engravings, allegedly done by the devil himself — are scattered between the three copies, and collecting the correct engravings out of each will give any would-be warlock the means to whistle up Old Scratch.  And at a Satanic mass that’s intent on using the Nine Gates, Boris Balkan casually strolls in, strangles the leader of the cult and disappears with the engravings.  Can Corso set things right, or will Balkan wield satanic supremacy?

A devastatingly intelligent film, I wish more roles like this came Depp’s way.  Langella is at his second-creepiest here, beaten out only by his portrayal of Quilty in Nabokov’s LOLITA.  And one of my favorite moments of the film is him striding into the cult meeting bellowing over the chanted Latin, “Mumbo Jumbo, Mumbo Jumbo, MUMBO JUMBO!”

***

There.  Three brilliant films, with a relative minimum of spoilers.  Now go! Go see them! Or, fuck, I don’t know.  Stick your dick in a burrito if you want.  But see these films!

Cleveland film maker Keitj Alin of Hey, Old Man and A Barge and Its Wind has been hard at work putting the finishing touches on his newest endeavor. Cowboys and cannibals are now poised to drip crimson for your entertainment in his western opus titled LAST PLAIN.

A bleak and harrowing retelling of the life led by Robert McGee, one of history’s only scalping survivors. In this re-imagining of his brutal tale, Robert, with guidance from his adopted tribe of exiles, makes a monsteros transformation from a victim… into a sociopathic cannibal

When his betrothed, Red Tears, runs away in fear of his wrath, she falls into the arms of a loner, named Paul. Depressed after a slew of family deaths leaving him abandoned, the runaway squaw, is the perfect remedy to give him purpose.

But Robert also has a remedy for Paul.

Stay tuned for more details about the film and future screenings.

If you go to IMDB and type in movie The Gruesome Death of Tommy Pistol you will undoubtedly find an indy flick released in 2010 directed by Ararmis Sortorio and written by Karen Sartorio and Aramis Sartorio. You’ll want to know who starred inthe picture in the even that you didn’t pay attention in the credit or worse, didn’t pay attention to the rather handy press release info as provided by Breaking Glass Pictures. Who starred in the Gruesome Death of Tommy Pistol? Tommy Pistol!  You might find yourself becoming quite curious as to the other films that Mr. Pistol was in. Star Wars XXX. Wet Dream on Elm Street.Re-Penetrator. People, this is just the kind of humor I would expect from the production team who put together such a haphazardly fun picture complete with the sexual comedy you need and the so bad it’s good gore you fucking must have.

Full IMDB for Tommy Pistol

We open on a would be actor who’s down on his luck having just lost his job and auditioned again for an extra job that a. he didn’t audition for and b. wasn’t a real job anway. His lady friend decides he’s worthless and she leaves him. Beer. Hot Dogs… Bachelor life follows. On a fateful day with hot dog and penis pump in hand, this would be actor falls asleep and wakes up in a world of acting anti-success. Welcome to the real world where dreams are only dreams and the real nightmare begins when the director yells action. We follow our protagonist through three short stories/dreams that find him the best of times and worst of messes. The perpetual shot of the microwaving hot dog let’s you know that you have not been visited by all three spirits of bad acting.

I was ready to turn the film off. I had my finger on the stop button. I was prepared to tell Breaking Glass Pictures that I simply was unable to review a film that acting so bad that it was not only NOT funny, but it was not worth watching. And then the movie really started of course. I wouldn’t call it a false start, but you don’t see the dream sequence portmanteau coming. It was a welcome change. Once our protagonist falls asleep you might as well dump out 50 gallon oil barrels of fake blood. The time for the squeamish is nigh.  Each story is comprised of our hero playing a different role in the filmmaking industry. Whether he’s an actor, an ambitious P.A. or a scum bag pimp filmmaker, it’s a condemnation of success in cinema. The whole move rides the myth of filmland fame like a mechanical bull.

This film realizes its limitations. It is not a full length feature that can hold its own for an hour and half. It breaks off into a short stories that are slightly amateurish but mostly diabolic. What they lack in acting or filmmaking talent they make up with blood, boobs and wit. You don’t need to have a high quality produciton to succeed and you don’t need to be a pretentious indy filmmaker just because somebody put a RED ONE in your hand. You can take the path less traveled or really traveled out of necessity and rely on the old standards. That is what the Gruesome Death of Tommy Pistol excels at. Recongizing its own strengths.

Favorite moments (you call them spoilers):

Spoilers end here, but I don’t think that telling you about the gratuity would a spoil the film; in fact it would probably get you past the first ten minutes of footage where you might be questioning my judgement. Do not expect quality here. Do not expect an artist dying to tell his story. Expect a very low budget vision of what its like to have so many ideas about what to make a film about in your head that your head explodes ala Scanners and the whole shebang ends up on celluloid (or solid state media).

Written by Jimmy Terror  who can be found at Dr. Terror’s Blog of Horrors

What do you get when you mix three bad ass vixens with the Kraken? Why, the latest from our pals at Breaking Glass Pictures, El Monstro Del Mar! of course!  Monstro (as I will refer to it as from here on out) is a throwback to the creature features of old, and comes from a land “Down Under” by newcomer Stuart Simpson.

Monstro opens with Beretta, Blondie, and Snowball stranded along the side of the road in nowhere Australia.  Eventually two fine gentlemen stop to give the ladies some assistance, only to meet the sharp end of their knives.  After a quick cleanup, our vixens head to an ocean-side shack where they are gonna lay low for a little while.  Of course the first thing you should do is take a little swim in the ocean, and that’s when we meet Hannah and her “crazy” grandfather Joseph who screams at the ladies to get out of the water!  The local legend is that the Kraken lives nearby and anyone in the water will awaken it.  Obviously, the legend turns out to be fact and we have a battle for the ages!

OK, that may be a bit strong, but Monstro is a lot of fun.  Sometimes, there’s nothing I like more than shutting off the old noodle and watching some mindless fun, and Monstro definitely delivers.  The opening sequence, which was shot in black and white before the blood splashes on the screen, was phenomenal!  It felt like I was watching one of my personal favorites, Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!  All of the effects in the film seemed practical, and gave me that warm feeling of watching the pre-CGI movies that I adore. I also must mention that this is the first I’ve seen or heard from writer/director Stuart Simpson, but I truly hope to see more in the future.

A few minor complaints for the movie fan in me.  I wish a little more back story for our gang of killers would’ve been flushed out.  There are a handful of quick flashback scenes, but not a lot of holes are filled in by the scenes.  Also, for only running 72 minutes, it feels like the middle of the movie drags a bit between the awesome opening and the great vixen vs monster fight at the end.  A little more could have been added to the other townsfolk encounters with the monster,but perhaps budget issues caused the effects to all go to the ending.  My own personal complaint to Breaking Glass is where is the blu-ray?  I would love to add this to my high def collection, but still only select films get the preferential treatment.

All issues aside, Monstro is a really fun time!  Fans of creature features will hopefully have a great time with this movie.  I’d say it’s definitely one of the best monster movies since The Host.  Recommended.

We recently reported the impending release of the DVD for a little film called Wound as released by Breaking Glass Pictures. Remember that one? The piggy fetish mask with the tongue sticking out of the mouth hole. The preview and one sheet had me thinking we were in for some Nine Inch Nails “Closer” related fetish romp through the twisted mind of people who are “into that sort of thing”. I couldn’t have been more wrong. Wound cuts deeper. The fetish imagery is used more as a vehicle to discuss the personal pain of childhood trauma and a means to an end, revenge. Director David Blyth shows us how a completely different rabbit hole looks only no one is wearing a bunny outfit; it’s all latex pig mask from here on out.

Synopsis:

We follow Tanya as she searches for the mother she has never met – a mother (Susan) who gave her up for dead after being abused by her own father who remains stuck in her present life. Tanya returns from the dead to confront and possess Susan with all her deepest fears and desires, sending Susan into a state of madness and gore filled retribution. What follows is an exploration and confrontation into the dark, distorted supernatural world that lurks within us all. A young woman, alone, attempts to fight the demons that begin to haunt her days and nights — in a series of brutal confrontations with the enemies of the past who want to possess and kill her.

I was almost disgruntled to see more than one scene that reminded me of the James Spader and Maggie Gyllenhaal from the Secretary. I realize that this imagery is quite popular in fetish/dom subcultures, but still a little too close to home. Not that the plot even comes within a inch of The Secretary. We’re talking about two completely different movies. I suppose my beef would be that there are plenty of ways to show the relationship between dom and submissive, why use one that is currently in the common collective memory? Is it sexy? That depends on your point of view and of course I don’t think any of us will be unzipping our fly in a movie review. You have to balance the erotic imagery with the back story. Do you feel any sympathy at all for your lead? If you don’t than it might as well be softcore and I for one have zero problem with a little softcore in my diet.

My issue with the film arises out of a lack of organic flow. The film doesn’t just reveal itself to you as a psychological revenge picture with barrels of eroticism. You never know who to “root” for. I suppose you can pick out the victims, but if you don’t identify with them you may as well be watching a slasher flick and hoping the big bad fetish slasher wins the day. This comes primarily out of the lack of character development. It’s the kind of thing you might be able to pick up on subsequent watching by attaching your own story to our protagonists, but you won’t find it as a well constructed part of the plot.  The framework of the story should be established expeditiously, followed by the audience member identifying with the revenger.

My advice to the filmmakers would be to work on this kills. You have developed some strong imagery with the use of several different fetish masks. These masks are absolutely creepy. Wound will disturb you. It’s atmosphere is solid between a dark score that doesn’t play on some more popular musical selections of the subculture combined with dungeons, night clubs and latex that give you the grand tour. Sure, it could have taken a few more steps into the belly of the beast, but it’s not an expose. This is a lifestyle film. It’s meant to get under your skin, but the fetish gear is the equivalent of a weapon to this vengeful woman.

My little pet peeve with this film: Why skimp on the castration scene? I don’t believe your cutting off a wang. I simply don’t. That doesn’t mean I’m not holding my Johnson while I’m trying to protect myself from a stray onslaught after witnessing such an aggressive act, but take it out of the spotlight if it comes off more like a practical effect than a death blow. If this is going to be the max out of the special effects sequence with the exception of a man sexually dominating a woman in a pig mask with mud on his ass than you need to bring the realism.

Wound is a competent film that is shot well and may even offer you some interesting camera angles if your into that sort of thing. If you are expecting the trailer in an elongated film version than you will be upset. It’s deeper than that but you have to find your own way. If you are a fan of early 90′s pop industrial and are hoping that Trent Reznor will make a cameo you might as well hope that MTV starts playing music video again. What you have here is a film that can play on your own conception of revenge, how it is perpetrated and who deserves to be the victim. The horror is in the imagery surrounding a peach stone of psychological warped angst. It might not be for everyone. Fetish stuff isn’t always. That’s what it’s fetish.

Stop by the website to get a more official vision of Wound. Can your Puritanical ideals handle it? Chances are good that you stand a chance. Just follow the bouncing pentagram tattoo.

From the neurons and chemically imbalanced awesomeness of Synapse comes a classic done up in bright shiny Blu Ray. 42nd Street Forever is one of those compendiums of sleeze cinema that tells a story of New York City at one of its sickest periods. Before they “clean up” the city and made it safe for tourists and theater goers, NYC was a filthy smut hole… a place where people can just as easily get burned with a soldering iron in a sex show as they might fixing the pots on their guitars at CBGB’s. This edition should represent a restoration of that history. The packaging is traditional in your face exploitation. The content is the trash you love. Synapse’s release notes are below, but this is a must have for movie lovers who wanna know what a grindhouse really was. Try not to stick to your seats as you leave the theater and leave your trench coats at the door. We hope your brand new Blu Ray doesn’t reject this loveable slime.

THE ULTIMATENEW YORK GROOVE!

42NDSTREET FOREVER ON BLU-RAY!

Filth, sleaze, bimbos,and bloody revenge—the way you like it! A pimpadelicwonderland in your own home!

Bring home more 42nd Street EXPLOITATION AND SLEAZE! The latestinstallment of 42NDSTREET FOREVER is here! Swinging girls, samurais andserial killers, ninjas and nunchuks, crashing cars andburning men, aliens with teeth, and girls, girls, GIRLS! Now remastered in 1080p high definition!

SynapseFilms’ loving homage to the greatest theater stripever, the 42NDSTREET FOREVERDVD series is a favorite of grindhouse andexploitation fans around the world. Presented onBlu-ray for the first time, Synapse’s colossal best-ofcollection combines a selection of vintage theatricaltrailers from the first two DVD volumes of the series,and mixes them in with some all-new selections!Remastered in true 1080p high definition, thismind-numbing dose of classic original comingattractions will have your Blu-ray player explodingwith almost four hours of sex, exploitation, action,horror, and science-fiction advertisements from aroundthe world! Can your brain take all this sleaze in onesitting? A collection so huge, we don’t have room tolist them all!

ACT OFVENGEANCE • BLACK SAMSON • THE BULLET MACHINE •CENTERFOLD GIRLS CHAINED HEAT • CHAPPAQUA •COLLEGE GIRLS • THE CURIOUS FEMALE THE DARK • DARK STAR • DELINQUENT SCHOOLGIRLS •THE DEADLY SPAWN DEATH DRIVE • THE DEPRAVED • THE DEVIL’S NIGHTMARE• DR. BUTCHER M.D. DR. TARR’S TORTURE DUNGEON • EYE OF THE CAT •FLESH GORDON THE FLESH AND BLOOD SHOW • THE .44 SPECIALIST •GINGER • THE GRIM REAPER THE GUY FROM HARLEM • HARD CANDY • HELGA • HELLSANGELS ON WHEELS HONKY • I, A WOMAN • I DISMEMBER MAMA • THE BLOODSPATTERED BRIDE INVITATION TO RUIN • ITALIANSTALLION • MAID IN SWEDEN •MARK OF THE WITCH MS. 45 • PANORAMABLUE THE PINK ANGELS •POM POM GIRLS RAIDERS OF ATLANTIS• SAVAGE! SAVAGE SISTERS •SECRET AFRICA SHOCKING ASIA •SHOGUN ASSASSIN SPY IN YOUR EYE •STREET GIRLS SUGAR HILL • SUPERFUZZ SUPERMANCHU TABOOS OF THE WORLD THE TALE OF THEDEAN’S WIFE THE TEACHER • THEYCALL HER ONE EYE THEY CAME FROMBEYOND SPACE THE 3 DIMENSIONS OFGRETA THE UNDERTAKER ANDHIS PALS WELCOME HOME,BROTHER CHARLES WEREWOLVES ON WHEELS WHEN WOMEN HAD TAILS WICKED WICKED

ANDMANY MORE RED-HOTSURPRISES!

Audio commentary with AVMANIACS.COM’s Edwin Samuelson,FANGORIA Magazine’s Michael Gingold and TEMPLE OFSCHLOCK’s Chris Poggiali

Director: Joe D’amato, Charles B.Pierce, Paul Maslansky, Abel Ferrara, and many more! Starring: Tisa Farrow, ChristinaLindberg, David Hess, Robert Quarry, Linda Blair, andmore! Run Time: 225 minutes Release Date: May 8, 2012 Language: English Aspect Ratio: Widescreen 1.78:1 Format: Blu-ray Price: $24.95 UPC Code: 654930313992 Catalog No.:SFD0116

SynapseFilms

New York based Burlesque producer Neil O’Fortune is no stranger to pushing the envelope with nightlife entertainment. Having been a part of the Bruce Campbell tribute and the celebration of John Hughes VS John Carpenter, you know he has the muscle to back up his hustle. Next up is SO WRONG IT’S RIGHT Burlesque.

The show is exactly what the title sounds like: a night completely dedicated to the most fucked up, “did I just see that?” acts in burlesque. It features acts dedicated to tentacle rape hentai, disturbing giant bunny heads, kitten euthanasia, the Virgin Mary doing…inappropriate things with the baby Jesus, Creamy Stevens drinking the blood of Ricardo Montalban (that one takes a little explaining) and lots more family entertainment.

Now, I am quite sure that you, the reader are a lot like us at The Blood Sprayer. You can’t get enough horror, you are constantly on the go and you only can (or only care to) devote about 20 minutes to any one thing. If that is the case then you definitely need to check out Popcorn Horror.

Popcorn Horror is “Your essential horror companion on the move”. Horror fans and film fans alike will enjoy this mobile phone app, which provides a unique experience unlike any other seen before. It brings you bite sized horror movies providing a cinematic experience in the palm of your hand.

In a thriving and innovative market place, as a digital start up company Popcorn Horror is aiming to bring its audience and filmmakers a faster, cheaper and more efficient application. It not only rewards content and loyalty but allows today’s digital generation a stage to share their thoughts and observations on horror content, and connects them with like minded individuals from around the world.

Popcorn Horror was founded in Scotland and since it was launched (appropriately) on Halloween 2011, the app has been steadily growing, expanding its market and has major and exciting plans for the future.

Being fed up seeing the same type of movie, or yet another remake, Popcorn Horror had the entrepreneurial idea to show that you don’t need to be a world famous movie producer to create an incredible film. Having the backing of Starter for 6 funding, Popcorn Horror has been developing this niche they have found ever since.

The unique characteristic of the app is that it gives grass roots filmmakers the chance to get their movies seen all over the world,  and what differentiates it from the likes of You Tube and My Space for example is that the filmmakers get paid for any material Popcorn Horror may use.

Popcorn Horror believes in the true essence of film making and would love to get more innovative and creative individuals involved. Their new strategy involves targeting universities and film schools to raise awareness among those who share their passion, to promote the app among its target audience and to offer budding filmmakers a platform to get any short horror films in the making a chance to be seen.

As well as providing you with a weekly dose of horror movies the app also includes horror quotes, news and reviews, wallpapers, ringtones and much more.  It has been described by one user as a “nice little surprise, downloaded it not expecting much but was thoroughly engaged after one use.” So check it out for yourself and see if you have found the thrilling film experience promised.

With instant media content streaming endlessly 24 hours a day, there’s no shortage of entertainment journalism that can be overwhelming at times. And just because you have constant access to it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s good or entertaining. There’s those of us that appreciate simpler things in life, like cheap booze, gratuitous nudity, ample gore, cheesy dialogue, and bad movies, preferably on VHS. These things don’t need speed or flashy bells and whistles CGI’ed all over. They are appreciated for what they are, for the time tested ability and characteristics that endure from generation to generation. These tangible qualities are all manifested in the genre-loving Zine publication I LOVE BAD MOVIES.

March is the month that Volume 5 is released to the public, showcasing the celebration of Early & Late Roles for your favorite actors. Think Before & After they were famous in the roles you love to see. Several minds are responsible for this collective effort and now they’re opening up about their publication, their film screenings, and more. Their writers include Christine Makepeace, founder & editor of Paracinema; and writer/blogger extraordinaire Tenebrous Kate, as well as comedian Kevin Maher and the dynamic duo that started it all of Matt Carman and Kseniya Yarosh. Smell the ink and grip the page.

What was the genesis of the I Love Bad Movies zine?

Kseniya: A few years ago, Matt and I were spending a lot of time rifling through the one-dollar VHS box at our local record shop. We found a lot of junk but also gems like Don’t Tell Her It’s Me, Timebomb, and Champagne for Two. Our hobby quickly became a common topic of conversation with our friends; suddenly, everyone we knew was sharing a fond memory of the worst movie they’d ever seen.

I’d made personal zines before and decided it was time to take a plunge into a collaborative project. We made the first issue in June 2009, and are about to release our fifth. We might stop one day, but it’ll be difficult — people just keep making bad movies.

Who is your favorite Bad Movie Actor/Actress?

Matt: Nicolas Cage is like the Patron Saint of Bad Movies. When he’s good, he’s brilliant; when he’s bad, he takes you on a journey you never thought possible. Plenty of actors have starred in heaps of bad movies, but none are as surprising or delightful as Nic Cage.

Kseniya is also partial to the oeuvre of Winona Ryder, and a friend once told me that he was concerned by the number of Lou Gossett Jr. movies I’d been watching.

What criteria does a film have to meet to make it BAD?

Kseniya: Something has to be unintentionally off. We generally shy away from anything conspicuously campy or very low-budget, and focus on movies that flopped critically (The Break-Up), financially (The Island of Dr. Moreau), or both (Gigli). We’re flexible though, and have included more successful movies as well. As long as there’s some element of melodramatic acting, cringe-worthy dialogue, or baffling plot, and the contributor has an interesting perspective on the film, we’re happy to include it.

Writers frequently protest, “But this movie is actually pretty good,” and we have to tell them, “No, it’s really not. But tell us what makes the movie good to you.”

Why did you choose to deliver your writing in a zine format? Does its structure shape your writing style or creative process?

Kseniya Yarosh and Matt Carman

Matt: The Internet itself has an almost-permanent memory, but I can barely recall the things I’ve read online. This is likely some kind of reading disability on my part, but the end result is that I’m drawn to printed matter: books and zines and maga-zines that I can hold in my hands, keep on a shelf, and lend to friends. When text is tactile, I take my time with it, absorbing and really appreciating it.

Our writing styles and editing wands are definitely influenced by the fact that we publish a printed zine. We’ll slave over an issue until everything is laid out perfectly, every word has been proofread, and we’re sure that all the stills are as beautiful or awkward as possible. Creating an issue of I Love Bad Movies is like creating a baby, except it only takes a few months to make and we can give it away if we don’t like it.

What do you hope your readers will take away with them after each issue?

Kseniya: A sense of what a challenge it is to actually make a good movie. So many things can go wrong!

Working on I Love Bad Movies these past few years has been an interesting lesson in film-watching. I have become more forgiving of slight slip-ups and find most ‘good’ (critically-acclaimed, award-winning) movies quite boring now. I seek out more films that take risks and try to surprise me, even if it diminishes their overall quality.

In short, I hope each issue makes our readers laugh but also think deep thoughts.

In your opinion, is there one genre that seems to overachieve at fostering bad movies? Is there a particular decade that is a repeat offender?

Matt: There are plenty of bad comedies, but flat-falling jokes can be pretty hard to watch. (Old Dogs is a rare example of a comedy that doesn’t work at all, but is somehow wildly entertaining.) And for every Troll 2, there are hundreds of other horror movies that are poorly directed, acted, and/or conceived. Personally, we’re partial to terrible romance or action movies. They generally move pretty quickly, play to base emotions, and are about things that most of us are bad at: love and punching.

According to the essays we’ve published, the ‘80s fostered more bad movies than any other decade. This is probably skewed by the fact that most of our writers were coming of age at that time and have latched onto movies from the era, but it might just be that everything was terrible in the 1980s: clothes, music, movies, Presidents. 1987 alone gave us The Garbage Pail Kids Movie, Masters of the Universe, Teen Wolf Too, and Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2. It’s like everyone forgot how to do their jobs for an entire year.

How did you assemble your team of writers? What can you share about them and the contribution process?

Kseniya: I’ve always been very lucky to know a wide variety of intelligent film enthusiasts. It all started with my friends–Daily Show writers and Flop House podcast co-hosts Elliott Kalan and Dan McCoy, film curator Cristina Cacioppo, illustrator Jeremy Jusay, and a handful of other talented folks. They’ve inspired me and I wanted to showcase their work in print form. The circle of contributors has grown through screenings, zine fests, and friends-of-friends; it’s always been a very organic process. We’re fortunate enough to have a rotating roster of amazing writers, comedians, critics, and artists, and we’re constantly impressed by the people who want to work with us.

What goes down with your screenings and special events?

Matt: Our first event was 35mm double-feature of Hackers and The Net at 92YTribeca, where we host almost all of our screenings. Since then we’ve teamed up with our friends from The Flop House to show 12 Rounds and Twin Sitters; put together compilations of VHS trailers for the Doomsday Film Festival; given pseudo-scholarly lectures on Mac and Me and Sweet November; and for the variety show Meet the Lady, we presented video clips/life lessons culled from our favorite Canadian romance novel adaptations.

Live events allow us to share these great-bad movies with other people, and we often team up with I Love Bad Movies contributors to pull them off. We started making the zine so we could collaborate with people we admire. Sitting in a screening room with friends and strangers, laughing at all the wrong moments and having a great time — that’s why we do this. It’s hard to describe to people who don’t get it, but luckily for us, there are plenty of people out there who love bad movies too.

CHRISTINE MAKEPEACE

How is writing for a zine different from your experience with Paracinema?

Content wise, I Love Bad Movies and Paracinema are kind of twinsies. The difference with ILBM is I get to write about something fun and then it’s out of my hands. I read every piece that appears in Paracinema a minimum of 3 times; I live and breath each issue until it heads to the printer. It’s liberating to get an awesome theme and be able to run with it without thinking any further than that one glorious essay.

Do you think that men and women have different ideas of what constitutes a bad movie or is crap cinema universal?

Stereotypes will tell us that women may have an easier time sitting through an cheesy romance, and men an action flick. But I think it’s less about gender and more about what we are willing to forgive. If you’re a fan of gialli the most ridiculous, shoddy story and poor editing will give you something you want. “Crap” is totally subjective.

What Bad Movie recommendations do you have? What’s your preferred snack to munch with a Bad Movie viewing?

I really enjoy “bad” slashers. Intruder, Chopping Mall, The Burning… sure they’re not perfect, but they hit my sweet spot.

As for snacks, I have a lot of dietary restrictions, but I love to toss back handfuls of almonds. Oh, and coffee.

KEVIN MAHER

As a Comedian, how seriously do you take bad movies?

Probably too seriously. It’s a misconception about comedians — that everything’s a joke. Some comics really invest in the world of the movie, paying attention to the internal logic, backstory, minor details, etc. Anybody can mock some ’80s science-fiction cop movie for the hairstyles, but I find the laughs are much more satisfying if you dig deep and watch closely.

What bad movie directors do you love and which ones do you hate?

I don’t *hate* anybody, but I strongly dislike the approach used by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer (makers of Epic Movie, Disaster Movie, and Meet the Spartans.) I’m a fan of parodies where the filmmakers respect the genre, like Young Frankenstein or Hot Fuzz. Edgar Wright is clearly understands the specific tropes, plot points and character types in cop movies, and his movie rewards fans of the genre. But with Date Movie the filmmakers assume you only have the most basic familiarity of The Wedding Planner. They assume you’ve only seen the trailer. Or that you only know Jennifer Lopez has a big butt.

What Bad Movie recommendations do you have to share?

I finally saw Maximum Overdrive for the first time, I can’t believe what I’d been missing. That movie definitely lives up to the hype.

Likewise, Tobe Hooper’s Eaten Alive is totally bonkers! It’s like a Carol Burnette show parody of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, filled with so much artificiality every step of the way, it’s brilliant.

I’m late to the party, but I just saw Strait Jacket and really dug it.

What’s your preferred snack to munch with a Bad Movie viewing?

It certainly makes any movie more special if you eat custom snacks that somehow relate to the film. My friends Lisa Beebe and Sara Reiss are amazing, they’ll go to great lengths to make custom-snacks for a screening, Tron cookies, shark cupcakes. I’m lucky to be friends with such cool nerds.

TENEBROUS KATE

You are the brains behind a pretty prestigious blog. What does writing offline for this zine mean to you?

Thanks for the compliment! I’ve been writing for homemade and small-press magazines since I was a teenager. It’s rewarding to work with fellow film fans on a group project that results in a tangible finished product. It doesn’t hurt that having editors and due dates keeps me more disciplined as a writer than the sort of “typing into the void” experience that sometimes characterizes blogging.

One of the great things about I Love Bad Movies is the variety of viewpoints and writing styles that are linked by the singular joy of watching cheesy films. Some authors choose a personal approach, others take a more academic tactic, and then there are those who knock it out of the park with comic genius. It’s pretty cool to share page space with a talented crew like that.

Do you find yourself changing your style or opinions?

For better or for worse, I’m an opinionated individual and that makes it hard for me to reign in my “I’ll Tell Ya What I Really Think” Voice no matter where I’m writing. The good news for me is that the ILBM folks give their writers a lot of freedom when it comes to diversity of viewpoints. As to style… I should probably be embarrassed to admit that I concentrate on writing cleaner prose when it’s going to be in print, right?

What singular element do you see that unites all Bad Movies?

I’m pretty sure that “their general terribleness” isn’t the right answer here! When it comes to bad movies that I find fun and enjoyable, the one element they all have in common is that they’re never boring. Boringness is the cardinal sin for a genre flick. “So good it’s bad” movies never let your brain stop to get annoyed with the stupidity of what you’re watching. The perfect bad-great movie should make you feel like you’re being bombarded with stimulating images, like being Ludovico’ed with silliness.

What Bad Movie recommendations do you have to share?

Horror fans should check out the 1980 serial killer flick Don’t Answer the Phone!. It’s simultaneously stilted, mean-spirited, terrible and hilarious, and ultimately plays out like a retarded cousin to Michael Mann’s Manhunter. For adventurous viewers looking for a real acid trip of a horror movie experience, it doesn’t get much weirder than the filmography of Godfrey Ho. Ho specialized in stitching together Hong Kong vampire and zombie footage with hastily-shot ninja sequences that feature American and European actors. The logic behind this was to capture the overseas market, but the resulting films are so insane that I’m not sure they appeal to anyone except the most devoted bad film lovers.

What’s your preferred snack to munch with a Bad Movie viewing?

I think I read in a fortune cookie that “great beer and bad movies are the keys to a content life.” It’s served me pretty well so far!

All volumes are available online at www.ilovebadmovies.com, and in New York at one of my favorite Comic Book stores, Forbidden Planet near Union Square and Desert Island in Williamsburg, Brooklyn.

I Love Bad Movies #1: The grab bag that started it all, spanning genres and themes.

I Love Bad Movies #2: “Love, sex, and relationships.”

I Love Bad Movies #3: “Visions of the future.”

I Love Bad Movies #4: “Kids’ movies, and movies ABOUT kids/teens.”

I Love Bad Movies #5: “Early and late roles” or, “Before and after they were famous.”

Be sure to make friends over at Facebook by clicking here. Reach out yourself with questions and submissions with ilovebadmovies@gmail.com and of course visit the Official I Love Bad Movies site to purchase your own copies of the Zine and find out about upcoming screenings and events.

The Darkness started out in 1996 as a comic book series that spawned a video game in 2007.  The game went on to sell more than a million copies, and the sequel was planned.  Finally, on February 7th 2K games unleashed The Darkness 2 upon the masses.  This was my first taste of The Darkness, so lets get to it.

The Darkness 2 is the story of Jackie Estacado, a mob boss who has a family curse of sorts called The Darkness.  It’s been two years since Jackie’s girlfriend Jenny was murdered, and Jackie is trying to cope with the loss.  With the help of occultist Johnny Powell, Jackie has been keeping the Darkness bottled up, but it has been yearning to get out.  After escaping an assassination attempt, Jackie is forced to unleash the Darkness and he quickly gives into the dark temptation as he hunts down those responsible.

Artistically, the Darkness 2 is phenominal.  Written by comic book author Paul Jenkins, the plot and story are the main attraction here.  The game even takes time between insane battles to occasionally slow things down and give you a story heavy chapter.  Graphically, Digital Extremes chose to make the game a moving comic book which I believe was a smart choice to give the game  it’s own personal look.  Also worth noting is the voice over work which is fantastic.  This really helps to make the characters feel like living breathing people which doesn’t always happen in a video game.

Now onto the most important aspect of a video game, the gameplay.  The Darkness 2 is a first person shooter, but more in the style of an in your face arcade shooter over a strategic shooter like most games on the market.  The enemies typically run straight towards you and you really don’t have much time to plan ahead and find a good place to take cover. Instead you’re usually doing your damnest to bounce back and forth between your firearms and your Darkness powers to do what you can to survive onslaught after onslaught.  This was a slight negative to me, because I felt like occationally I won battles more by luckily mashing the buttons than I did my shooting abilities.

The main story will take roughly 8-10 hours to get through, but you trophy and achievement whores will have to run through the story at least twice to collect them all.  On top of the main story is the Vendetta mode where you take a different mobster and a Darkness powered special weapon and go through some side missions linear to the main story.  The Vendetta mode adds roughly 2 1/2 hours to the total game play, but with four different characters each with different magical weapons to use the replay value is there.  The Vendetta mode is also the online co-op mode for those of you looking for that added value.  There is an option on the games main menu for downloadable content, but nothing was available at this time, so I gotta guess there will be more content added in the future.  As an added bonus for those you like me that were not familiar with The Darkness, the current limited edition also gives you a free download to read digital versions of The Darkness Origins Vol. 1 & 2 which collects 12 comic books giving you some back story.

Now for you horror buffs out there, is The Darkness scary?  In a word, no but that’s okay. There was a really cool chapter where you were on one of those amusement park haunted house rides where you had to shoot the real people that jumped out in between the fake attractions.   For those of you looking for it, the game is covered in blood and gore.  The executions are frequent and brutal, the only downside to them would be the repetition.  A few more options for Darkness kills would’ve been nice, but that’s just nitpicking.

I was not familiar with Jackie Estacado and the world of The Darkness until this past week. I wish I had met him and his lovable group of foul mouthed mobsters sooner.  Reguardless, The Darkness 2 is a fun romp for fans or those of you looking to try something new.

Greetings, Brothers and Sisters of the Psychotronic Video World.  I’ve got a story for you today that would make Carl Denham blush, so let’s get right down to brass tacks. Get the fire going, roast some weenies, and put on your big girl pants because this is where shit gets real.

Our story begins two weeks ago; I was in Rochester, New York for my twice-monthly game of Dungeons and Dragons, when I received a text from Wes.  He wanted to know if I was interested in writing a review of a book called “EsoTerra: The Journal of Extreme Culture,” being a collected form of EsoTerra, the magazine.  Wes pitched it to me that, as best he was aware, it was a book on “cult culture.”

Now, I go into this thinking I’m going to get what I consider cult culture — articles and interviews with filmmakers on the fringes of what’s considered good taste, maybe some stuff on hotrodding Kustom Kulture, Bettie Page impersonators, etc.  Ohhhhh no.  No no no.  Not by a long shot.

EsoTerra seems to largely concern itself with OCcult Culture.  Modern Theosophists, devotees of Aleister Crowley, practitioners of LaVeyan Satanism…Hoooo boy.  I’ve made my opinions on Western Ritual Magick known in the past, and a lot of what I read in EsoTerra confirmed my suspicions.  The collection of interviews I went through felt like a cavalcade of individuals demanding that the world pay attention to them.  The interviewers seemed less like detached observers and more like panderers, pushing the interviewee to see how far they would go, and after a while it started giving me heartburn to keep reading it.  And I consider myself a fairly liberal, open-minded individual.

A few points…

• Dear Marilyn Manson: You are not, nor were you ever, the AntiChrist.  You are, and were, a scrawny asshole who collects lunchboxes and brags about how cool you are for the time you shit on a plate and left it on your neighbor’s doorstep in New Orleans.
• Necrophiliacs (and there’s more than one in this book) who attach a spiritual dimension to fucking a corpse, and claim to get communion with a higher power or some other hippy-dippy bullshit out of it, freak me right the fuck out.
• Alan Moore is completely bugfuck insane.  Don’t get me wrong, I liked Watchmen and V for Vendetta, as well as the first volume of The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (even if Phillip Jose Farmer tackled the concept first, and did a better job of it), but he needs to stop eating those hallucinogenic tubers off Swamp Thing’s taint.  Just sayin’.

All in all…EsoTerra is not my cup of grue.  If you’re into Serpent Worship and Necrophilia and Spontaneous Human Combustion as a form of entertainment, then by all means, give this book a whirl.  Me, I’m gonna go curl up in a corner and pretend I didn’t read a woman’s explicitly-detailed description of fucking a dead person.

Hey there boys and girls!

We here at The Blood Sprayer know how much you love to win free stuff. So here is your chance to win 4 free films from Image Entertainment.

IMAGE ENTERTAINMENT is giving away  IMAGE HORROR prize packs to lucky winners on Facebook. All you have to do is click here, like their Facebook page and fill out the form for a chance to win a prize pack featuring BENEATH THE DARKNESS, RABIES, DON’T LET HIM IN, and LITTLE DEATHS. Good Luck!

Hello again, Brothers and Sisters of the Psychotronic Video World! I come before you today to raise my voice in tribute to one of the most jaw-droppingly lovely women to ever grace the Silver Screen.  She’s been hounded by Dracula and James Bond, Vincent Price raised her up to near-deific levels, his love for her transcending the grave, David Hasselhoff wore mascara and dueled robots with a lightsaber on her behalf, and for her love Doug McClure fought hypnotic pterodactyls at the Earth’s core.  I speak, of course, of the radiant Caroline Munro. And to be fair, if she turned those eyes and that smile on me, I’d have a hard time saying no to doing those sorts of things for her as well.

Born January 16th, 1949 in Windsor, England, Caroline aspired to be an artist, but as luck would have it, in 1966 her mother entered some headshots of her in The Evening News‘ “Face of the Year” contest, which she won (is anyone surprised?), leading to work as a model, including a lucrative 10-year contract as the face of Lamb’s Navy Rum.  This, in turn, lead to movie work.  She started small — decorative bit parts in films such as 1967′s CASINO ROYALE, that sort of thing.  In 1971 she appeared opposite Vincent Price in THE ABOMINABLE DR. PHIBES, one of my favorite movies of all time.  I say “appeared opposite,” but in playing his deceased wife, she really didn’t get too much screen time.  If nothing else, she got a memorable story out of the deal:

The most challenging scenes involved lying in the coffin with Vincent.  You see, I’m allergic to feathers and I was attired in this beautiful negligee — but it was covered with feathers! It took a great deal of willpower not to sneeze or sniffle. On occasion, I would simply have to sneeze and this would result in having to do another take.

In 1972, she would reprise the role in DR. PHIBES RISES AGAIN, and was shortly thereafter signed to a contract with Hammer Studios, appearing in DRACULA A.D. 1972 and CAPTAIN CRONOS – VAMPIRE HUNTER.  During this time she also appeared in THE GOLDEN VOYAGE OF SINBAD, proving every bit as captivating as Harryhausen’s wonderful effects work.  In 1976, she would play Dia the Beautiful in the film adaptation of Edgar Rice Burroughs’ AT THE EARTH’S CORE, opposite Doug McClure, Peter Cushing (who has the best line in the whole film — “You cannot mesmerize me! I’m BRITISH!”) and a whole bunch of guys in forced-perspective rubber “dinosaur” suits.  She turned down roles in FRANKENSTEIN AND THE MONSTER FROM HELL, DR. JEKYLL AND SISTER HYDE, and the unproduced VAMPIRELLA movie on the grounds that she was unwilling to be filmed in the nude.

In 1977, she appeared in what is perhaps her best known role, that of seductive henchwoman and helicopter pilot Naomi in THE SPY WHO LOVED ME, becoming the first female undeniably killed by James Bond.  And truth be told, I tend to turn off the movie after she ceases to be in it.

In 1978 she starred in STARCRASH, an Italian cash-in on Star Wars that these days I find more entertaining then George Lucas’ disasterpiece.  In the role of Stella Star, she took the Han Solo roguish mercenary archetype to new heights…as well as space bikini fashions.

Through the 80s, she appeared in such films as William Lustig’s MANIAC (opposite her STARCRASH costar Joe Spinell), THE LAST HORROR FILM (ditto), DON’T OPEN ‘TIL CHRISTMAS, SLAUGHTER HIGH and Paul Naschy’s EL AULLIDO DEL DIABLO (HOWL OF THE DEVIL).

While her career has slowed down some as she’s focused on her family, Caroline still pops up in films here and there, most recently in the surrealistic ELDORADO.

***

April 2010, Chiller Theatre convention (the same show I met Tura Satana at), I had the great fortune of meeting Ms. Munro.  I won’t lie to you — my knees shook approaching her table.  She’s been my celebrity crush for a long time, and still an astonishingly lovely woman.  Her smile was so warm, and her eyes just shone.  We conversed briefly while I perused the incredibly large collection of 8 x 10s she had available — three binders full, as I recall.  Selecting a glamour pose from THE GOLDEN VOYAGE OF SINBAD, she signed it and I got my picture taken with her.  She grabbed my wrist gently, and would not let me walk away from her table until I’d checked the camera and was completely satisfied with the photo of her and I together — if need be, she’d take more.  Truly a class act, and one of the nicest guests I’ve met at any convention I’ve been to.

A few weeks ago, I had the pleasure and privilege of having a nerd-out weekend with The Bloodsprayer’s very own Zach Shildwachter.  While much of the time was spent nerding out over films we’ve already come to know and love and even a brief horror movie makeover, we decided that no horror weekend could be complete without finding a movie based solely on the poor caliber of its DVD cover, and suffering through it.  After spending hours ruffling through flea markets looking for old horror memorabilia, we found exactly what we had been looking for.  Stuck between Flicka and Freddy Got Fingered sat what we were hoping would become the “best movie you’ve never seen”.  Plastered across the DVD cover was a poorly photoshopped image of Crispin “Last Night Darth Vader Came Down From Planet Vucan And Said If I Didn’t Take Lorraine Out, That He’d Melt My Brain” Glover, an extremely bloated version of the man who made his career with music hits like “The Bum Bum Song” and “Hey Kids, Feel Your Balls (So You Don’t Get Cancer)”, and a collagen injected tramp who is better known as “The Prostitute In Saw IV That Has Her Scalp Ripped Off” in a photoshopped cornfield with a photoshopped tractor beam in the background.  I’m sorry, but who WOULDN’T want to sit through this gem?  What first began as a sarcastic idea for a Saturday night turned into an adventure that left us both feeling disappointed, confused, and a more than a little violated.  Seriously, I think that a court ordered psychological assessment should be required after sitting through this film just to ease the viewer back into the acclimation of regular society.  There’s “so bad it’s good” films, and there’s “so bad it’s bad” films…and then there’s Freezer Burn: The Invasion of Laxdale.

Laxdale seems like your everyday run of the mill farm town in Canada.  Residents are often over zealous hillbillies who frown on anyone of higher status outside of Jerry Springer guest, meaning former hockey legend-current alcoholic asshole, Bill Swanson (Tom Green) isn’t taken too kindly in these here parts.  The area is suffering from the longest and hottest summer on record, and the newly developed crop circles have turned the simple town into a bustling tourist attraction.  Things suddenly seem to look up for the town when a pair of Dutch Gazcon Oil Company executives (played by a slimy version Crispin Glover and Peter Kent), tell the residents of their plan to purchase a local farming company with the intentions of turning it into an oil refinery, and assuring future jobs for everyone in town.  Of course everyone has to have a skeptic, and Bill Swanson finds himself pushed out of town and to the local dump when he fails to jump on the bandwagon of the rest of his bumbling community.  Trapped between a community that hates him and haunting flashbacks of his hockey career, Swanson tries to take refuge with his only friend in town-his former hockey coach.  Unfortunately for him, coach Arnie Filmore (Scott Hylands), begins behaving unexplainable.  Without any rhyme or reason, Arnie has set himself up in a sort of homemade Alcatraz surrounded by all of the air conditioners and popsicles in town.  Whereas the rest of the town seems to see the Gazcon Oil Company as some form of gift from God, Bill Swanson finds it all too peculiar and is determined to find out the truth.  The truth (this isn’t a spoiler by the way, it’s totally on the back of the case) is that these Oil Tycoons aren’t trying to generate jobs for the good folks of Laxdale, they’re aliens intending to turn the area into a sort of Club Med for extra terrestrials.  Yep. That’s the big secret.  Whether or not they succeed is something you’ll have to find out for yourselves, but honestly…do you really want to?

Now plenty of people out there might tell me I’m taking the film too seriously or that it has plenty of merit, but I just couldn’t get into it.  I watched this film under the absolute perfect circumstances.  I had great company, an extremely comfortable seat, some of the best pizza northeastern Ohio could offer, and I got to rock pajamas.  There was no amount of annoyance brought into my moviegoing experience, until the movie started.  To put it bluntly, this film was PAINFUL to sit through.  The writing is downright dreadful, the acting resembles something out of a community theatre production, the special effects would have been better suited if generated in Microsoft Paint, and they very well may have one of my favorite actors of all time.  I just sat there with my jaw agape thinking to myself, “How in the actual fuck did they get Crispin Glover to agree to do this?”.  I thought I would at least get some sort of relief from the “love interest” eye candy in Sarain Boylan as Gina Larson.  Too bad she was so orange she could make Chester Cheetah jealous and it was impossible to listen to her without being distracted by Lisa Rinna’s lips’ doppelganger.  The constant flashbacks to Bill Swanson’s hockey days were excessive and the ending resembled something that would come out of an M. Night Shyamalan “Writing Endings: For Dummies” how-to book.

  This film was more than just mindless fun, it was downright mindless.  The only redeeming quality is Crispin Glover, and his performance was abysmal.  So that’s saying something. If the audience were a set of prepubescent boys hell bent on poop jokes and sneaking peeks at Playboys at the local 7-11, this film would go off without a hitch.  Even still, half of the jokes would probably go over their heads.  Maybe I’m too harsh of a critic, or maybe this film would be better suited as a coaster.  I’m going to go with the latter.

I’m doing this without his permission because, frankly, he’s too modest to do this himself.  Zach Shildwachter, one our long-time writers and my dear friend, is a talented fellow.  He’s worked on everything from TV to films in addition to being a great writer.  Another one of his amazing talents is his ability to transform humans to subhuman via make up EFX.  Well, Zach’s going whole hog and putting his money where his smiling mouth is.

Zach has decided to make an audition tape for Season 3 of SyFy’s Face Off. The below posted video is his audition tape turning himself from man to monster…or demon, I should say.  At any rate, take a look.  We here at The Blood Sprayer know how darn talented he is and want all of you to know as well.  Spread the word, and get behind your boy!!!

Note: The following stories are a combination of myth, vague memories, drunken conversations, and manic obsession.  While it may be hard to follow at times, or perhaps, completely unintelligible at moments, the basic foundation is there to do what it needs:  Lovingly honor the mythos of Jim Van Bebber and his films.  Without further adieu, step into my brain…and wipe your feet first ya’ goddamn animals!

When I was younger, I remember all the stories that would circulate about King Diamond throughout metal circles.  Certainly, heavy metal publications did nothing to disspell any myths pertaining to the enigmatic front man for Mercyful Fate.  Naturally, as kids do, we bought in to any sort of story that made the rounds.  He lived in a castle lit only by black candles.  He kept virgin blood in his home to drink as part of his Satanic rituals.  The album, Melissa, was actually named after a woman he’d sacrificed to Satan.  He owned Dracula’s actual tomb and slept in it.  All these things were real to a young, impressionable metal head…and all of them were completely fabricated.  The reality of the situation?  He’s a Danish heavy metal musician named Kim Bendix Petersen who’s flair for the dramatic horror-themed stage antics lead to him taking on the moniker King Diamond.  The King has an expansive vocal range that allows him to turn on the evil at a moment’s notice.  Unlike a lot of his contemporaries (you know, all those current, relevant musicians Rick Santorum recently chastised), King Diamond does practice LaVeyan Satanism, a philosophy he subscribed to long before Anton LaVey’s The Satanic Bible was in publication (so he claims).  Still, none of these facts verify any of the urban legends we’d heard when we were young.  Instead of a castle, he lives in Texas.  And instead of Dracula’s coffin, he sleeps in bed with his wife, Livia.  In recent years, this mystical creature’s powers have been challenged by a series of health issues. After suffering from a herniated disk in his back in 2007,  he also underwent a triple bypass in 2010.  Evil indeed…

As an adult, I’m clearly able to see that King Diamond was not the evil Satanic Overlord I’d thought him to be in my youth.  Rather, he was a very charismatic artist who’s application of corpse paint and a top hat lead to  him taking on a unique persona; one that happened to frighten children and the religious right.  Kim Petersen is an incredibly talented artist.  His years spent as King Diamond have given him the rare opportunity to allow urban legends to drive a legacy rooted in mystery.  It’s free, brilliant marketing that keeps his career moving along.  It doesn’t lessen his value to heavy metal, but it does shed a lot of skin from that “evil” image he’s so well known for.

This was the long way around me introducing the subject for this article:  Jim Van Bebber.  Van Bebber was a film student at Wright State University who put his education to great use creating 2 widely recognized cult films:  The Manson Family and Deadbeat At Dawn.  There’s absolutely nothing conventional about his work.  In fact, there’s an obvious deliberate manner in which he went against the grain to make these intensely fucked up movies.

Still wondering where the King Diamond analogy comes into play?  I’ll get to that…

I do remember (at least, I think I do) a VHS copy of Deadbeat At Dawn.  It wasn’t one that I owned, but I distinctly remember seeing it.  There were comparisons  made to Combat Shock, sure, but there was something all together different about this movie.  If you’re not familiar with Deadbeat At Dawn, here’s a quick rundown:  2 rival gangs, the Ravens and the Spiders, have been long embroiled in a turf war to rule the streets.  Goose (played by Van Bebber) is the leader of the Ravens…but, he wants out.  He’s ready to settle down and make an honest woman out of his psychic girlfriend.  Before Goose makes his exit from gang life, he agrees to one last drug deal.  This leads to Goose’s life taking a turn for the worst.  Members of the Spiders viciously beat the love of his life to death.  With nowhere to turn for help, Goose disposes of her body in a trash compactor and seeks refuge in the home of his father who happens to be a junkie AND a lunatic.  Here, Goose plots out his violent revenge that culminates in a bloodbath of kung fu and bullets.

Deadbeat At Dawn was a movie reflecting the trouble of its times.  It was a product of disenfranchised views on the Reagan administration, gang violence, drug epidemics all rolled into one colossal indie film.  Deadbeat At Dawn is widely regarded as a prime example of what masterful independent cinema can look like.  Van Bebber’s ability to utilize his resources while not skimping on quality storytelling culminated in one kick ass movie.  It’s a mix bag of exploitation, action, kung fu, and dismal urban drama that could only be told in the way Jim Van Bebber could.  Think of many of the New York-centric films of the early 80′s, as well as all of the gang-related films of the same era and you’ve got a pretty good idea of what Deadbeat At Dawn is all about.  What would follow Deadbeat At Dawn, however, is what certifies Jim Van Bebber as a “Director You NEED To Know”.

In 1988, Van Bebber opted to tackle one of the most heinous stories in America’s modern history as a film subject:  The Tate Mansion Murders, and more specifically, Charles Manson’s family.  The Manson Family (which became the final release title) is Van Bebber’s take on Charles Manson’s grip on a group of people that acted out his vile wishes.  The film’s foundation is rooted in the facts of the this true crime lover’s wet dream, but Van Bebber’s approach to the movie was (decidedly) unique.  The combination of the story itself and a “Bad Trip”-esque psychedelic twist approach the Manson story in a way never done before or since.  It’s a movie that effectively takes poetic license with reality-and one my words will never properly do justice.

As previously stated, The Manson Family’s production dates back to 1988.  The film’s official release on DVD was 2003.  Van Bebber’s movie appears to be as much an arduous task as it was a labor of love, depending on which stories you’ve heard/believed.  The movie itself is a back-and-forth between the psyched-out interactions of the Manson cult and sobering interview segments with the various ex-cult members (also portrayed by actors, of course).  After that many years of production, one would guess that that’s exactly how something like that would shake it in real life, too.  The final edit of the film flows very nicely despite having been in production for so long.

The Manson Family is something I remember reading/hearing about.  I did not see the actual movie until it’s DVD release.  It’s not that I didn’t want to!  I loved Deadbeat At Dawn.  It felt so original that I knew I would have to like the next film Van Bebber unleashed.  Unfortunately, it was something I never got my claws on in the form of a bootleg.  It had that dubious distinction of being like Cannibal Holocaust (for me).  There was a boatload of respectable hip folks praising this movie.  That isn’t necessarily the standard by which any movie should be measured, but when you have no point of reference to go off of, you’ll take what you can get.

When The Manson Family was actually released, it was to solid fanfare.  It came out on DVD during a period when slick remakes were the majority of the releases in theater and on disc.  As a fan, I was quite excited.  I made a point to pick that up on the day of it’s release and it was everything I’d hoped for.  A psychedelic, hyper-violent, sexually-graphic head trip that took the reprehensible crimes perpetrated by the Manson clan and  tied them to the current fears of this generation.  For a movie that had begun production nearly 20 years prior, The Manson Family felt very modern.  It spoke from the viewpoint of the criminals themselves instead of taking the conventional true crime route we were so accustomed to.  The dichotomy of how the family works is brilliantly laid out by the cast, which is a credit to Van Bebber’s writing and direction.  It didn’t look like anything being released at the time.  It didn’t sound like anything being released at that time.  But most importantly, it didn’t feel like anything being released at that time.  For lack of a better term, The Manson Family is one fucked up movie.  Even the most hardcore of hardcore flicks has its moments of lighthearted fodder.  That sentiment was nowhere to be found in this movie.  It was coming at you both guns a-blazin’ as a proper Jim Van Bebber film should.

I wouldn’t be a proper fan if I didn’t start immediately poking and prodding about, trying to figure out what the man was working on.  After all, I’d experienced 2 of his features (and a short film called Satan’s Little Helper) and wanted more.  Information on what he had going on was pretty scarce on Jim Van Bebber in 2003-2004 I quickly discovered.  I couldn’t find traces of him anywhere.  Had he disappeared?  Had he stopped giving up on movies all together?  My heart was saddened.  Here’s where that whole King Diamond analogy becomes apparent…

Over the years, Jim Van Bebber’s name has come in and out of my life.  From clear back to a VHS copy of Deadbeat At Dawn, up to the DVD release of The Manson Family his work is something I’ve craved more of.  He has continued working.  He’s done music videos for bands like Pantera, Superjoint Ritual, and Necrophagia.  But when it comes to movies, there has not been an official release of his in some time (at least, that I’m aware of).  I’ve heard him referred to as a “certifiable nutjob”.  There’s been plenty of urban legend surrounding who he is and what he does.  I am not privy to what of this is actually true.  My barometer for such things is much different than it was when I was younger.  Had I heard about him at the same time I’d heard all that crazy shit I’d heard about King Diamond, he would’ve been an equally menacing yet fascinating presence.  Definitely one I would have wanted to explore heavily in the way I did anything my parents would’ve considered evil.

I don’t know Jim Van Bebber personally.  One can only assume that stories about him and his work are exaggerated, as is the case with most counter culture figures.  Here’s what I do know:  Jim Van Bebber is a director worthy of your attention.  His films are very important to the modern history of independent films.  The foundation of both of his features are well known concepts/stories but his take on them is a completely original one.  He’s not so easily forgettable.  For someone with so few films to his credit, he makes a very lasting impression.  This is the mystique of Jim Van Bebber.  If you were to walk into a horror convention or perhaps, a more subversive (aka weird) film fest and ask 10 people about him, you’d possibly get 10 different responses.  The one constant you will find, however, is the emotion in those responses.  He seems to be “that” kind of individual.  Not necessarily polarizing, but definitely a person who invokes spirit in the people who discuss him and his movies.  Believe me, if you were to ask some of our Blood Sprayer writers (namely Courtney Wyant and Jeremiah Genson) about Jim Van Bebber’s name coming up in conversation (particularly when I’m a few drinks in), they will tell you that I get rather excitable.  I think he’s brilliant and if I had my way, I’d want everyone on the planet to see Deadbeat At Dawn.

WHEN WE TWO MET…

While a lot of what I’ve written thus far is based on myths and whispers, there is a solidified, verified, story of fact that I can share about Jim Van Bebber-the one and only time I’ve ever met him.

Jeb and myself were in attendance at Cinema Wasteland (as I often am) going on 2 years ago.  My primary reason for attending this show?  You guessed it:  Meet Jim Van Bebber.  It’s something I’d wanted to do for quite some time.  As always, Cinema Wasteland remains the one and only convention I attend to actually meet some of my film favorites.  They never fail to deliver, and this time was no exception.  We’d stopped off and bullshitted with Ruby LaRocca for a few minutes, in which time she’d told us about a very entertaining Q & A session involving Mr. Van Bebber…so far, everything I’d thought to be true was sounding so.  We meandered around for a bit and picked up some odds and ends until finally, there he was.  You know how you concoct a hero to be this 12 foot tall, bronzed god who’s hair waves in the wind as if it were amber waves of grain? Well, he fit that description…at least, it felt like he did at that moment.  He was like Robert Plant and Jimmy Page rolled into one rock n’ roll, dragon slayin’, maiden quenchin’ badass…or at least that’s how it felt.   He was wearing a sleeveless flannel shirt, had perfect hair, and the single most righteous handlebar moustache ever grown.  He was what men wanted to be…or at least that’s what I saw.

He's still this cool...

Jeb and I approached him with a fair amount of trepidation.  What if he told me to fuck off?  What if he ignored my questions?  This is one of the people I’ve  wanted to meet.  I feel like I do a pretty good job of not getting star struck, but he’s on that short list (along with John Waters, Cal Ripken Jr., Gaspar Noe, Prince, and Lemmy).  It was a big deal to me.  Based on my recollection, this is how that conversation went down:

Me: “Hey man-I’m a huge fan of yours.  I came this weekend just to get the opportunity to meet you.”

JVB: “Oh, man…that’s really fuckin’ cool to hear.”  (this was followed by a hearty handshake and a hug! A hug!!)

This lead to a nice conversation discussing his travel, his Q & A, some other music/film-related discussion…then this happened:

Me: “So Jim, I have this website and I-well, we (nodding to Jeb)-we’d really love to be able to interview you for the website.  I really think the readers would love it and I know I would.”

JVB: (with the same pleasant smile he’s had on his face the entire conversation)”…No, no man.  I don’t think so”.

At this point Jeb and I are either going to poop on the floor or start break dancing. Either way, something had to break this uncomfortable tension. Mr. Van Bebber decided to continue:

JVB: “Don’t think I wouldn’t love to do it, man.  I just…I’ve been workin’ on this movie for 10 years, ya know?  It’s a film on Al Capone, and I’d really love to complete that before I start doing interviews.  If  I did one right now, it’d end up being all about my past films and…I just don’t wanna talk about them again right now.”

Okay, so that all makes total sense.  It really did.  But, if you could’ve been there to see how the pauses in phrasing went down, you would’ve been as equally tense as we were in that very moment.  Here I am, finally meeting someone I’ve longed to meet.  I HAVE the means to not only interview him, but I can put it out there for the public to read…and he turns me down.  I wasn’t hurt by this, but I was taken aback.  I was turned down.  It was quite humbling because I assumed I had this one locked down.  But once again, this speaks to the type of person Jim Van Bebber is.  Very rarely do you encounter a filmmaker who turns down an interview.  Not because they’re egomaniacs-because these guys who are churning out their OWN stuff in the indie market want the opportunity to put there film’s name out there.  He knew where he was as an artist and knew where his head was at.  The whole experience became another piece of his mythos.  It made him every bit the renegade, uninterested in talking about the past.  He was rooted in the now.

AND THE MYTH CARRIES ON…

He was a young American...

The long strange trip of Jim Van Bebber’s legacy is one I’ve not had the opportunity to fully qualify as truth.  My fascination with his films has lead to some incredible conversations with other like-minded people.  Not unlike the metal community and their fascination with King Diamond, fans of Van Bebber’s speak of him in godlike terms.  He’s a one of a kind.  Movies like his aren’t coming around all the time.  In fact, it’s that very hopeful style that has helped form this website.  I wanted to start The Blood Sprayer because of people like Jim Van Bebber.  I knew how strongly I felt about his movies and I was certain their were other people out there that felt the same way.  This fearless invigorating way that he’s attacked his craft is nothing short of extraordinary.  Not once has Mr. Van Bebber concerned himself with the industry’s status quo.  He’s carved out powerful films by tackling topics in whichever way he sees fit.  This is what puts his work a cut above so many others.   Call this all an obsession…hell, call it whatever you’d like, but the fact is this:  A filmmaker doesn’t get a cult status without first having done something mind-blowing.  His work has blown plenty of minds (not just mine) and will continue to do so as other weirdos (not unlike myself) discover his work.

Amidst all this, I hope you see that I speak of the man and myth that is Jim Van Bebber, in total reverence.  He’s become a favorite subject of mine simply by facing down the storm and being nothing more than who he is.  Love or hate him,  love or hate his movies, there’s no looking past his ability to be a provocateur. These are the type of people that keep us on our toes, keep us guessing.  If you’ve been able to sift through my disjointed drunk-like storytelling, you can see that I adore this man’s movies and I want the world to love them too.  So, please join me in raising a glass to a man who stands 1o stories high and strikes fear into the hearts of the boring-I honor you and your work, Jim Van Bebber!  Bring us more movies…

Update: As this article was being prepared, The Blood Sprayer discovered that a documentary on Jim Van Bebber is in the works.  Filmmaker Victor Bonacore was 2 months away from completion on said film.  In the coming months, we will be featuring updates on this doc, as well as, an in-depth interview with Bonacore who can hopefully confirm or deny some of the manic urban tales about Van Bebber.  Not unlike Van Bebber’s work, Bonacore is doing this entire documentary completely independent.  Below, you’ll be able to view the trailer.  Please, please take a look and keep your eyes peeled for more…

Synapse Films returns with an new, remastered Blu-ray release of THOU SHALT NOT KILL… EXCEPT and a Rondo Hatton Award nomination for their release of EMBODIMENT OF EVIL.

Don May, Jr, President of Synapse Films has gone back to the digital drawing board to remaster THOU SHALT NOT KILL… EXCEPT properly. Synapse had hired an unnamed company to handle the transfer which unfortunately sent back unusable files—unusuable at least by a company of the caliber of Synapse Films. The entire film has been re-remastered for the best possible transfer and the best possible release. The full story, written by Don, is available here:   THOU SHALT NOT KILL… EXCEPT TRANSFER
Synapse Films proudly presents THOU SHALT NOT KILL… EXCEPT in an all-new 2K high-definition transfer from the original negative.  Directed by Josh Becker, this “must see” (Detroit Free Press) cult classic features many of the creative personnel responsible for THE EVIL DEAD, including co-writer Bruce Campbell, writer/producer Scott Spiegel (INTRUDER), composer Joseph LoDuca, and actor Ted Raimi. The new release date is APRIL 10, 2012.

SYNAPSE FILMS nominated in the 10th Annual Rondo Hatton Awards!

Synapse Films release of the third part of Coffin Joe’s trilogy, EMBODIMENT OF EVIL, has been nominated for Best Classic DVD in the 10th Annual Rondo Hatton Awards!
The Rondos, as they’re affectionately known, nominate and award creative endeavors seeking to present and preserve classic horror in many forms from film presentation to illustration to articles on classic horror films. We are honored to be mentioned among so many of our peers in the horror fields. Below you can see all of the nominees, which includes Synapse staffer Shade Rupe’s Dark Stars Rising for Book of the Year, and learn how to vote at the end of this article.

VOTE NOW! for the
10TH ANNUAL RONDO HATTON
AWARDS!

Synapse Films is nominated for

*BEST CLASSIC DVD*:
EMBODIMENT OF EVIL
Starring Coffin Joe!

*BOOK OF THE YEAR*
DARK STARS RISING

And be sure to give a shout out to contributing Blood Sprayer writer Bill Adcock’s Radiation-Scarred Reviews for BEST BLOG of 2011!

Total Film recently caught up with Joss Whedon to talk about The Cabin In The Woods, his attempt to set things right in the genre of horror.

“It’s basically a very loving hate letter,” said Whedon. “On some level it was completely a lark, me and Drew [Goddard, director] trying to figure out what the most fun we could have would be. On another level it’s a serious critique of what we love and what we don’t about horror movies.”

Joss added, “I love being scared. I love that mixture of thrill, of horror, that objectification/identification thing of wanting definitely for the people to be alright but at the same time hoping they’ll go somewhere dark and face something awful.”

And on the things he hates about lame horror, Whedon said: “The things that I don’t like are kids acting like idiots, the devolution of the horror movie into torture porn and into a long series of sadistic comeuppances. Drew and I both felt that the pendulum had sung a little too far in that direction.”

Synopsis: Five friends go for a break at a remote cabin in the woods, where they get more than they bargained for. Together, they must discover the truth behind the cabin in the woods. Drew Goddard directs for the first time in this film that he co-wrote with Joss Whedon. Starring Kristen Connolly, Chris Hemsworth, Anna Hutchison, Fran Kranz, and Jesse Williams, Richard Jenkins and Bradley Whitford.

The Cabin In The Woods opens on 13 April 2012.

Part of me feels like I should avoid this topic all together. Part of me feels like I should warn all of you about what is “in the works”.

Nicki Minaj’s highly confusing, highly uninspired and poorly executed Grammy performance left a lot of people scratching their heads.

“I don’t know what is the big issue? You know how people write plays and movies? That’s what I did. I wrote that and I gave the world a tiny little preview of what was to come. And so I have to perform it on the set in which it would be in the movie, right?” said Minaj. The comments were made by Minaj on Wednesday night at an event for Viva Glam MAC cosmetics.

Minaj, walked down the red carpet dressed in an over sized red robe with a man dressed as a pope at her side. According to Minaj, her performance, which featured a film clip, was partly inspired by the 1973 movie “The Exorcist”.

For those of you who missed it, you missed a train wreck. I will not recommend that you watch the video of her performance, it was once of the worst things that I have put into my ears. And if what she said is true, if this is a small glimpse into the movie that she is writing/directing/producing/whatever then we are about to witness the second coming of Uwe Boll.

Watch the video here.

Read the AP story here.

Any sleazy cinephile worth their weight in Betamax tapes has a sweet spot for Donnie, Walter, and of course, the Dude. The Coen Brothers cult hit The Big Lebowski seems to transcend genres and unite midnight movie goers regardless of their tastes in cinema. To celebrate this celluloid achievement burlesque starlet Clams Casino plans to shake and shimmy the night away in the Big Apple at Joe’s Pub in Manhattan.

Here’s the Official Press Release:

NYC’s favorite burlesque duo brings you a tribute to the one and only Dude himself. Coming to Joe’s Pub, Friday February 24th at 11:30pm, The Sticky Situation brings you It Really Ties The Room Together Burlesque: A Tribute to The Big Lebowski.

It’ll be a night of  mistaken identities, kidnapping, handsome strangers, bowling references and shut up Donnys, complete with a White Russian drink special!  This is no acid tripping dream sequence.  This is real people!

Believe me, you want to just drop in to what condition Joe’s Pub’s condition is in on February 24th, when stars like Adam RealMan, Amber Ray, Anita Cookie, Chris McDaniel, Clams Casino, Hard Cory, Gal Friday, and Runaround Sue will perform to an eclectic soundtrack, all for one reason only. Because the rug really ties the room together, man!

Clams and company have celebrated other films with their tribute to Bruce Campbell and the eternal glory of John Hughes and John Carpenter. Their past shows prove that this will be a helluva a good time and will sell out quickly.

Visit Joe’s Pub online to reserve your tickets today!

Available for the first time in North America on Blu-ray™, DVD and digital download on March 20^th from Anchor Bay Entertainment

“If you love The Hunger Games, BATTLE ROYALE sets the stage.  One of the best – and most violent – genre films ever made.  It’s also a hell of a lot of fun.”

- Chris Nashawaty, Entertainment Weekly

In 2000, director Kinji Fukasaku unleashed Battle Royale, his violently poetic epic about an innocent group of Junior High students forced by the government to hunt and kill their classmates for sport. It was nominated for 10 Japanese Academy Awards^®, launched a global phenomenon, and banned from screens by frightened civic groups and distributors across America. Three years later, the equally disturbing sequel – featuring a new class, new rules, and a brutal terrorist plot by the first film’s young survivors – triggered its own tragic firestorm around the world. Now for the first time ever, you can see it all: Experience the entire Battle Royale saga on 4 discs that forever blasts open one of the most potent, shocking and savagely influential sagas in motion picture history. And now, fans can own them on high-definition Blu-ray™ and DVD!

On March 20th, Anchor Bay Entertainment proudly brings the Battle Royale: The Complete Collection to Blu-ray™ and DVD for the first time in North America. Featuring state-of-the-art HD transfers, hi-res audio and a wealth of bonus features that delve deep into this truly international phenomenon – the three disc Blu-ray™ plus bonus DVD set has an SRP of $49.99 and an SRP $44.98 for the four disc DVD.  Battle Royale will also be released separately on Blu-ray™ for an SRP of $29.99 and DVD for an SRP of $24.98.  Pre-Book on both is February 22.  Battle Royale will be available digitally via select outlets including iTunes^® and Xbox LIVE^®.

 Battle Royale Synopsis

In the near future, the economy has collapsed, unemployment has soared and    juvenile crime has exploded. Fearful of their nation’s youth, the Japanese government passes The BR Law:  Each year, a 9^th grade class is sent to a remote island where they will be locked into exploding neck collars, given a random weapon, and forced to hunt and kill each other until there is only one survivor left. Chiaki Kuriyama (Kill Bill) and screen legend Takeshi Kitano (Boiling Point, Brother) star in the movie that has been argued, acclaimed and banned around the world. More than a decade later, it remains one of the most savage, shocking and emotionally powerful films of all time. Now experience the complete Director’s Cut of Kinji Fukasaku’s uncompromising masterpiece – nominated for 10 Japanese Academy Awards^® – available uncensored and unrated for the first time ever in America.

With impeccable direction by three-time ‘Director of the year’ Kinji Fukasaku, and featuring high-quality acting performances from every angle, Battle Royale: The Complete Collection is as cunning as it is ruthless, offering a unique and brutal depiction of what people are capable of when imminent death is everywhere you look.

Battle Royale: The Complete Collection’s four disc set in collectible high-end packaging will include:

• Battle Royale Director’s Cut with both Japanese and English language tracks and English subtitles
• Battle Royale Theatrical Cut with both Japanese and English language tracks and English subtitles
• Battle Royale II with Japanese language and English subtitles
• Battle Royale Bonus Content with Japanese language and English subtitles

SPECIAL FEATURES:

• The Making Of BATTLE ROYALE
• BATTLE ROYALE Press Conference
• Instructional Video: Birthday Version
• Audition & Rehearsal Footage
• Special Effects Comparison Featurette
• Tokyo International Film Festival 2000
• Battle Royale Documentary
• Basketball Scene Rehearsals
• Behind-The-Scenes Featurette
• Filming On-Set
• Original Theatrical Trailer
• Special Edition TV Spot
• TV Spot: Tarantino Version

The Battle Royale release will include:

• Director’s Cut with Japanese and English language and English subtitles

Battle Royale Blu-ray and DVD Specs:

BATTLE ROYALE: The Complete Collection Blu-ray (3 disc plus bonus DVD)

Genre:                         Action/Drama, Thriller

Street Date:                 March 20, 2012

Pre-book:                     February 22, 2012

SRP:                            $49.99

Cat #:                          BD24401

UPC:                           0 1313 24401-9 4

Disc 1 – Battle Royale Director’s Cut:

Run Time:                   122 minutes

Rating:                        Not Rated

Format:                        Anamorphic Widescreen (1.78:1)

Audio:                         Japanese Dolby TrueHD 7.1 and English Dolby TrueHD 5.1

Subtitles:                     English

Disc 2 – Battle Royale Theatrical Cut:

Run Time:                   113 minutes

Rating:                        Not Rated

Format:                        Anamorphic Widescreen (1.78:1)

Audio:                         Japanese and English Dolby TrueHD 5.1

Subtitles:                     English

Disc 3 – Battle Royale II: Revenge Director’s Cut:

Run Time:                   133 minutes

Rating:                        Not Rated

Format:                        Anamorphic Widescreen (1.85:1)

Audio:                         Japanese Dolby TrueHD 5.1

Subtitles:                     English

Disc 4 – Battle Royale Special Features DVD:

Run Time:                   194 minutes

Rating:                        Not Rated

Format:                        Full-Frame (1.33:1)

Audio:                         Japanese Dolby Surround 2.0

Subtitles:                     English

BATTLE ROYALE: The Complete Collection DVD (4 disc)

Genre:                         Action/Drama, Thriller

Street Date:                 March 20, 2012

Pre-book:                     February 22, 2012

SRP:                            $44.98

Cat #:                          DV24566

UPC:                           0 1313 24566-9 0

Disc 1 – Battle Royale Director’s Cut:

Run Time:                   122 minutes

Rating:                        Not Rated

Format:                        Anamorphic Widescreen (1.78:1)

Audio:                         Japanese and English Dolby Digital 5.1

Subtitles:                     English

Disc 2 – Battle Royale Theatrical Cut:

Run Time:                   113 minutes

Rating:                        Not Rated

Format:                        Anamorphic Widescreen (1.78:1)

Audio:                         Japanese and English Dolby Digital 5.1

Subtitles:                     English

Disc 3 – Battle Royale II: Revenge Director’s Cut:

Run Time:                   133 minutes

Rating:                        Not Rated

Format:                        Anamorphic Widescreen (1.85:1)

Audio:                         Japanese Dolby Digital 5.1

Subtitles:                     English

Disc 4 – Battle Royale Special Features:

Run Time:                   194 minutes

Rating:                        Not Rated

Format:                        Full-Frame (1.33:1)

Audio:                         Japanese Dolby Surround 2.0

Subtitles:                     English

BATTLE ROYALE Director’s Cut Blu-ray

Genre:                         Action/Drama, Thriller

Street Date:                 March 20, 2012

Pre-book:                     February 22, 2012

Cat. #:                         BD23767

UPC:                           0 1313 23767-9 0

Run Time:                   122 minutes

Rating:                        Not Rated

SRP:                            $29.99

Format:                        Anamorphic Widescreen (1.78:1)

Audio:                         Japanese Dolby TrueHD 7.1 and English Dolby TrueHD 5.1

Subtitles:                     English

BATTLE ROYALE Director’s Cut DVD

Genre:                         Action/Drama, Thriller

Street Date:                 March 20, 2012

Pre-book:                     February 22, 2012

Cat. #:                         DV23762

UPC:                           0 1313 23762-9 5

Run Time:                   122 minutes

Rating:                        Not Rated

SRP:                            $24.98

Format:                        Anamorphic Widescreen (1.78:1)

Audio:                         Japanese and English Dolby Digital 5.1

Subtitles:                     English

Mac Eldridge is a rising talent to keep an eye on in the world of Horror. Carving a few more short film notches into his belt, you can bet even money that his designs for a feature film are well in hand. Mac speaks on his influences, his failures and triumphs, and more.

Blood on the Plain was an adventurous short film. I’ve heard rumors of a possible feature length film. Where does that stand?

Well, the rumors you’ve heard are true: we have every intention of making this short film into a feature. It’s the reason why we ended the short film completely wide open. Angel Esparza (the writer) and myself wanted to leave questions unanswered to show people that there is a bigger story to be told. I know we’ve gotten a bit of shit for it, but I’d do it the same way all over again. If we satisfied everyone’s appetite, the idea of turning it into a feature film wouldn’t be as appealing.

As of now, we’re playing the waiting game in regards to the feature. We made our short film, now we have to see if anyone will bite. The feature script is done and ready to be pitched, now we just have to wait and see if anyone wants us to pitch it.

What was the genesis of Blood on the Plain?

BLOOD on the PLAIN would have never gotten made if it weren’t for two people. The first is obviously the writer, Angel Esparza. While on one of my sets (something he co-wrote, in fact) he approached me about an opening he thought of for a horror film. Two guys would be chilling at a filling station, talking about nothing. Then, bit by bit, a third man would set down flammable objects to purchase between the two of them. When asked what in the hell he was doing, the third man would simply respond, “They hate the light.” That floored me. I loved it and that’s why it opens our short. Some may see it as mostly irrelevant to the short’s story, but I think it establishes the tone incredibly well. Also, now after shooting it once, I know how to make it even better for the feature. If someone gives me the chance, you’ll see what I’m talking about.

As I said, there were two people who made BLOOD on the PLAIN happen. That second person is Tom Dean, our DIT on the film. We worked together at DePaul University’s lighting stage and I pitched him Angel’s opening then showed him the first act to the feature for BLOOD on the PLAIN. Although I was in love with it, I thought it was too different and niche of a story for anyone outside of westerns to really enjoy, but Tom Dean totally changed my mind. He fucking loved it which made me think others potentially could as well. So, then I started handing the pages over to other people including my DP David Wagenaar. They all loved it too so then I decided I wanted to make it. Angel was a nice enough guy to let me do so and I can’t thank him enough.

What can you share about the creature design and the special effects from Blood on the Plain?

The creatures are a big reason why BLOOD on the PLAIN work and there are a few people I have to thank. The first one is Eric Berson, my sfx coordinator on Chemical 12-D. Without him, no one would have been interested in what I was up to. The special effects sold 12-D and he made me realize that as long as I had some kick-ass special effects, people would at least watch my movie. He made me realize how valuable special effects are, and he was also the one to introduce me to Anthony Kosar of Kosart Effects. To put it simply, Anthony is not just a special effects wiz, but he is also one of the most talented artists I’ve ever had the chance to meet. He can do everything, including making some awesome looking creatures.

One night Eric and I went out for drinks to discuss how to create these creatures and he was confident there was only one guy who can do this for me. He then called Anthony and had the two of us meet. I gave Anthony the script, walked away, and came back a week later to see what he had drawn up for concepts. And, my God, they were awesome. From there, we hired our lead creature, Lucero Less. He is a brilliant character actor and was able to do anything I asked of him. Anyway, Anthony life-casted Lucero’s head and made a mask for the creatures. From there, they were body painted and we cast two other guys with the same build as Lucero to be the other creatures. I wanted it to feel like there were 8-10 creatures in the gym, and I had to do it with three. Not sure if that worked out or not, but I feel it is chaotic enough.

As for the gore, that was pretty simple, actually. A pesticide sprayer and hidden tubes can get you far. You can find how to build and use those on YouTube. We had a couple of guys do that and the wound effects. I just wish we had more time to do more kill shots, but with a tight budget you can only do so much.

What particular challenges did you face to bring Blood on the Plain to the screen? What can you share about your budget, your script, your cast?

BLOOD on the PLAIN, in my most humble opinion, was the most challenging project made by any undergrad (and potentially grad) student from DePaul University. We wanted to make a $250,000 movie for seven grand. Luckily, DePaul University was extremely supportive of the project because of my past work with Chemical 12-D. My production team and I were able to win the undergrad film fund of $5,000. That was great starter money so the first weekend of production we filmed all of the bar stuff, the townhall stuff, and the opening scene. From there, we crafted a teaser trailer to help raise the rest of the funds. We were able to do that and we stretched every dollar as much as we could. I really have to hand it to Kevin McGrail, Aric Jackson, and Angie Gaffney, my producers. They did everything they could to take DePaul’s money and turn it into something awesome. Without them and DePaul University, BLOOD on the PLAIN would have never been able to happen.

Another huge obstacle was how big the script was in terms of cast. It’s an ensemble piece because really, the short film is just a condensed version of the first act for the feature. I can’t remember how many exactly, but we needed over 100 extras for the entire short and also there were roughly a dozen speaking roles. So, my producers and Nick Schmidt (my casting director) really knocked it out of the park for me. The producers found the extras, and Nick did a ton of casting with me. He was great, he gave up so much of his time to help me find what I wanted. And all of these actors were non-paid, so you have to give them a big thanks to. All of the rehearsals, long days on set, all for no pay!

The same goes for the crew too. Without them I’d have nothing. Rob Davis and David Wagenaar especially stick out to me, because they’ve been with me since I was making really bad movies. Rob has an incredible ear for production sound and mixing. Without him, the short wouldn’t play right. Sound makes that opening scene and sound especially makes that gym scene. He is incredible. As for David, my loyal DP, he has no bigger fan in the world than me. He made the movie gorgeous. He made ugly look beautiful. We have a great working relationship. I draw my own boards, I then go over them with him, he figures out a lighting plan, then we make the movie. He does his homework unlike any DP I’ve been around. I can’t speak highly enough of him.

What are some of your favorite influences as a director? What do you like and dislike about the current state of Horror?

My influences run pretty far and wide as far as directors are concerned. As much of a horror guy I am, the first filmmakers that come to mind are the Coen Brothers. They taught my tone. Tone is everything. Look at No Country For Old Men. Tone sells that movie. Then, I’m a big Neil Marshall fan in a big way. The Descent is one of the scariest movies I’ve watched. It was nerve racking before the creatures even showed up. He taught me you can make a dope action sequence with no budget. When I was showing Chemical 12-D in Montreal, I got to meet him and watch his last movie, Centurion. Incredible how unnoticed that movie is, it is the epitome of a man’s movie. I loved it. Anyway, there is a huge fight sequence in the film and its awe inspiring given the fact that he shot it in three days. I can’t tell you how many times I watched that scene to study how he did it. Once I mostly figured it out, I applied the same rules to the gym scene. Watch Centurion then watch my gym scene. It is directly inspired from Centurion. I have tons of more influence, but as of lately I have been big on Ti West. The more and more I watch his stuff, the more and more I realize that young filmmakers can make what they want to make. He’s older than me (I’m just turning 23) but look at his movies. They’re fucking great and its because he got to make them the way he wanted to. He’s a huge inspiration to me because of that. I really want to get into my old school influences, but this interview is incredibly long already. I’ll just end it with this: I want John Carpenter’s career.

As for the state of horror… Wow. That’s a loaded question. I can say this: I’m pumped we’re out of the torture phase and that’s to say I’m glad America is out of the torture phase, and not just in horror film. I love horror film so much because its a great reflection of the time. It’s a reflection of our society’s biggest fears at the time. Look at the decades and look at the trends- it says something about us and what we’re scared of. So what is the current state of horror right now? We seem to be into this found-footage thing again. Okay, cool. I’m into that too. We’re living in a world where almost all of our actions are recorded and horror films are reflecting that. I was fortunate enough to see Paranormal Activity before its big release and before anyone had heard really anything about it. I saw it with a ton of people, including my DP and girlfriend. We all walked out shocked, my girlfriend crying, and me scared as shit. I love that. I’m into the found-footage thing, I have a feature that I can shoot that’s found footage. Other than that, I have to say horror is what it always will be (to me): a misunderstood genre with a lot of stuff I can care less about. There is a lot of horror films that don’t get my attention because I can’t relate to the fear. But when I can, I think horror film can strike a viewer unlike any other genre in film. When horror films get it right, they get it right better than any other genre.

If you had a choice which would you choose: to remake any Horror film or adapt any comic book? Why?

Another tough question but I have to say I would remake a horror film. Don’t kill me or judge me harshly because of that. That also isn’t a slide against comic book movies. I know a lot of people have issues with them, but I can’t understand why. They’re all incredibly enjoyable, so what’s the problem? Is it really that big of a deal that there is some sort of source material?

But, the real reason why I want to remake a horror film is because I’m a huge fanboy at heart. I love the genre more than any other, and because of that, I want to get my hands into the Alien franchise in a really bad way. There is no reason why anyone should remake Alien, including myself, but I want to do it just so I can say I was a part of that franchise. I know your readers are probably getting their pitch forks out, but isn’t that why we got into film in the first place? To make things that inspired us? It’s selfish of me, but its true.

Between Chemical 12-D and Blood on the Plain, there seems to be some tragic things that happen to the youth in your films. What should your audience take away from this?

You know, I never made that connection nor did I ever realize both of my last two shorts hurt young people. I’ll say two things about it. 1) I made Chemical 12-D because I wanted to make something that would hurt parents. Your kid being captured and killed is as horrific as it can get being a parent, so that is where that concept came from. It also came from the fact that I’m deathly afraid of surgery (as you can tell by watching the short). 2) A horror film scares an audience because the audience has some sort of connection with the prey. I only have a short amount of time to do that, and I’ve always felt I can get an audience to embrace a younger person faster than an adult. There is something innocent about them.

What is it about the Horror genre that draws you in? Do you have a favorite sub-genre of Horror?

Horror draws me in because, simply, I like being scared. I like the adrenaline. I think being scared beats out any other emotion I can feel at a movie theater. Also, as a filmmaker, I really like it because of the added responsibility of special effects. I know that not every great horror film has special effects, but a lot of horror films rely on top notch sfx (mine do, at least). I think its a whole other beast for a director to juggle special effects. You have to know how to handle them and incorporate them into your story. It’s another department on a film set to collaborate with. I love it and I really respect what they do. Plus, as I already talked about, I think a horror film film reflects on the times better than any other genre in film. As for sub-genres, I really like creature features. They’re just a blast to watch and also a blast to make. What scares me more than anything though are the more so realistic horror films. Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer and Funny Games, for example, have scared me more than anything I’ve ever watched.

How did you get your start with Water Cooler Productions? What do you have planned with them next?

Water Cooler Productions is actually something David Wagenaar and I started up several years back when we were in high school. We needed a brand for people to identify us with and Water Cooler Productions was the result of that. It’s really there just to say: get ready, you’re about to watch a film from the minds of Mac and David. We also have done some paid work under the name, but really it is a brand for people to identify us with. Because of that, we teamed up with Dynamite Film Productions (Kevin McGrail’s production company) to help us produce the short. As I’ve mentioned, BLOOD on the PLAIN doesn’t get made without him or my two other producers.

We want to make the feature for BLOOD on the PLAIN. We have written and optioned a few other features, but BLOOD is really what we want to do more than anything else. Angel Esparza gave us an incredible story, and we’d like to finish telling it.

What advice would you give to anyone looking to take on their first short film?

I can keep this bit really short, because its worked for me since I was about 12. Back then, I wanted to make music, so I sent my Uncle Spencer a few tracks I recorded. To put it simply, he told me he didn’t like what I had done. For whatever reasons he told me then, he wasn’t into it and that shocked me. Until then, I never really failed at anything that I put my mind to. But he let me know that I did. He then told me something that I still live my life by today: We learn nothing from our successes, and everything from our failures. I live by that! So what advice do I have for people wanting to make their first short? Fail! Fail hard! Do things you’ve always wanted to do and have no caveats! Be proud of your failures! There is nothing wrong with failure because that is what we learn from. I think it was Tim Burton who said he learned more from the bad movies compared to the good ones. Chemical 12-D was the first well-rounded short I made and I was making movies for 2 years by that point. Bit by bit you’ll get better, and the only way to get better is to fall down sometimes. Figure out what works, what doesn’t work, and keep applying those thoughts to whatever you produce next.

I also love talking to fellow filmmakers, especially horror filmmakers. Feel free to email me at Mac@watercoolerproductions.com if you ever want to show me anything or bullshit about film making. It’s what I live for.

Many thanks and best of luck to Mac Eldridge. Check out Water Cooler Productions.

Visit the Official BLOOD ON THE PLAIN Website to purchase a download of the film.

Good evening, Brothers and Sisters of the Psychotronic Video World.  It’s been a couple months since I’ve had a review for you of a new piece of fiction from Greg Lamberson, my ultra-prolific fellow Buffalonian.  So I was very pleased when I received an advance copy of Greg’s new novella (his first venture into this format) CARNAGE ROAD, an “unforgettable ode to westerns, biker pictures, and the cinema of the living dead.” I like westerns.  I like biker pictures.  I’m even kinda okay with zombies — though if you’ll forgive me a moment readers, I’ve come to the conclusion that the modern zombie genre is itself a zombie, mindless and lurching, simply going through the motions of life.

CARNAGE ROAD is the story of Boone and Walker, two biker gangsters in the days after the Zombie Apocalypse hits.  Their gang, the Flying Dragons, falling apart under the combined assault of the anthropophagous dead and rival groups of desperate, trigger-happy mortals, Boone and Walker decide to see America — they head west from Buffalo, NY (the novella actually begins on a street I drive down on my way to work every morning) in the direction of Hollywood, and after visiting Tinsel Town, end up in Texas.  Along the way they gun down ghouls, steal beer, steal food, encounter other desperate mortals, and see both the best and worst the remnants of the human race has to offer…but more the worst.

I think the sense of malaise I’ve come to feel towards zombies kicked me right in the gut here.  In the past, reading Greg’s novels…I’d simply sit down and not move until I’d finished them.  CARNAGE ROAD…I’d read a couple pages, put it down, do something else, come back and read a few more pages later…it just didn’t hold me.  And it took me a long time to figure out what the problem was. Was it the plot? The format? The zombies?

Greg’s prose is as rich and lively as ever, but I feel like some of his spirit is missing from CARNAGE ROAD.  It just doesn’t have the same intensity as THE FRENZY WAY or THE JAKE HELMAN FILES.  And to be perfectly honest…one of my favorite elements in Greg’s novels is that he takes monsters that have become cliche — werewolves, zombies, demons, Cthulhu — and gives them an invigorating new spin that takes the reader off guard.  CARNAGE ROAD is lacking that spin — the zombies are just standard-issue Romero/Russo-style mindless gutmunchers.  There’s just no pizzazz to them.

In fact, the whole novella is kind of like that.  Maybe I’m thinking with my stomach, but the best analogy I can think of is that it’s like a plain cheese pizza — technically satisfying, but leaving the consumer wanting.  The zombies, the biker gang, the rednecks, the underlying theme of “strip away the veneer of civilization in an emergency and living humans are worse then the ghouls”…all the elements one could want of a story crossing zombie fiction, biker movies and westerns are present, but nothing in particular stands out.

Actually, I take that back.  One scene, as Boone and Walker cross Kansas, does stand out.  They come across a field in which are planted row upon row upon row of 20-foot tall crosses.  Nailed to each of these is a ghoul, and after a moment the duo realize that none of the ghouls were caucasian in life; all of them are racial minorities.  Has the Klan gone post-mortem, or were these individuals nailed up while still alive?

Greg Lamberson has a great deal of incredible fiction to his credit, and ranks among my favorite living authors.  For me, CARNAGE ROAD fell flat, though I can’t help but suspect that it’s a story that will prove a lot more satisfying to those who enjoy Romero’s films more than I do.  I’ve heard a few hints about what Greg has in the works for later this year, and I am deeply excited about what he has in store.  Just, please Greg, keep turning monsters on their ear?

BLOOD ON THE PLAIN has the aesthetics of No Country for Old Men, the art design of My Bloody Valentine, and the left-over creature design of Neon Maniacs with enough gore to sell it correctly. Mac Eldridge, who made worthwhile note with his other short film CHEMICAL 12-D, returns with a gut-ripped version of Footloose, sans Kevin Bacon’s gyrations.

The small country town of Wadsworth, Kansas gears up for the big school dance. With young love wafting in the air, a young man two-steps about with his new romance after a hard day of mopping piss at the local saloon. Just when others might suspect a You Got Served dance number to kick in, a band of Native American Demons surround the teens and start opening major arteries with reckless abandon. It’s quite a bloodbath that is the highlight of this almost 13 minute short film. The creature design and special effects are seamless and jolt you with their creepiness as well as the creatures’ savage acts of violence, a scalping being my particular favorite.

Soon word of the attack hits the saloon and the townspeople gather for answers, but more so for revenge. The local sheriff, a grit-gutted, one-eyed, Southern-fried Dudley Do-Right, announces that a dangerous task awaits any volunteers that are willing to join him and his posse of trackers assembled to find who, or what, is responsible for the 22 bodies on ice in the morgue. With his band of mercenaries on the hunt, the sheriff rides out into the night.

And… Well, that’s where this short film ends. If you’re seeking resolution, you’ll hopefully find it when this short is properly financed and produced into a feature. The story has all the momentum of being a fantastic stand alone short, but fell victim to being more of a calling card for the filmmakers involved. As tempting and appealing as this story is, it seems to pose more questions than simply “what happens next?” Mac clearly has demonstrated his talent as a director and storyteller in his previous works and the story presented here, coupled with stellar camera work from David Wagenaar, seems to have been cut short without rhyme or reason. I want the steak, not just the sizzle.  Maybe that’s me being over eager in my critique, or maybe I shouldn’t write movie reviews when I’m hungry.

Hopefully BLOOD ON THE PLAIN will be turned into a proper full feature film. Hopefully word of mouth and other interested parties will gather around Mac and his recent project, it’s all very well deserved. Hopefully you’ll be able to see this short film soon yourself, and be as hopeful about the future prospects of this young filmmaker as I am.

You can learn more about this short film from it’s Official Website – BloodOnThePlain.com.

Be sure to check out Mac Eldridge’s CHEMICAL 12-D.

Oh, what the hell. This has been sitting in my documents folder since early December, might as well post it.  I’ve finally had a chance to put it all together and polish the edges.  I’d like to thank my wife for purchasing me a desk and desk chair for Valentine’s Day, now I can sit at my computer for more than an hour and actually get things accomplished.

1. Amebix – Sonic Mass

This record is a monster, I already blogged at length about it here.  It is numero uno for a good reason.  Read the review and see why.

2. Yob – Atma (Profound Lore)

Yob have long been a favorite of mine and I have supported them staunchly for nine years now. When Catharsis was released in 2003, I nearly worshipped the album. None of their releases have missed the top ten list for the year they were released. I thought I loved doom metal BEFORE that record came out. Yob gave me whole new reasons to worship the doom. Caught them live in a dive this past year and it can only be described as soul-enriching. It was church to a guy like me. Cheers to them for landing half the gigs opening for Tool on this past US tour. Lets hope Tool fans give a shit.

3. Argus – Boldly Stride The Doomed (Cruz Del Sur)

I played in a band some years ago who had a friend in Butch Balich. He got our crummy little band booked into the 31st St. Pub in Pittsburgh opening for his 3rd show ever singing for his new band. They were called Argus and we were big Wishbone Ash fans, so we were stoked already. They played some of the most massive and amazing NWOBHM inspired downtuned rockin’ epic metal like I had never heard. They were still recording their demo at the time so it was clear that we were witnessing the birth of something mammoth. ‘Boldly Stride The Doomed’ is the second footstep of that mammoth and if you have any respect for yourself at all, you will seek this recording out.

4. Acephalix – Interminable Night (Southern Lord) / Vastum – Carnal Law (20 Buck Spin)

I split this entry because both bands share several members and both these albums blew my face off equally. Acephalix released these recordings as two cassettes last year and Southern Lord did a limited run of CD’s this year. I’ve been following Acephalix for awhile and have a few of their earier records. Their first EP’s and album were pretty OK, downtuned “dark” hardcore/metal inspired heavily by Motorhead and 1980′s Japanese weirdos G.I.S.M. I liked it well enough, but I didn’t listen to it very often. With Interminable Night, Acephalix explode out of the speakers with the addition to the pot of possibly one of the best “throwback” 90′s death metal sounds I’ve ever heard, even though they are still definitively punk. Vastum popped up as a demo last year sharing several members with Acephalix and at least one Hammer Of Misfortune and were just straight early death metal and it’s absolutely fucking remarkable. “Carnal Law” is chock full of chunky, thick, catchy riffs that thud and lurch with the best of the early 90′s death metal scene. It’s a shame that so many mediocre bands are getting all the attention in this style. Keep an eye out for these guys in the future.

5. Mitochondrion – Parasignosis (Profound Lore)

PFL quietly released this at the beginning of the year, and I didn’t happen to notice it until September. I fucked up. This is the best thing they released all year. Truly dark, twisting, oppressive death metal of the kind only a few bands are really doing well currently. Alot of groups doing this kind of death metal keep making the same mistake. They engineer and mix everything SO intentionally badly trying to maintain a raw sound that any clarity is lost and what they have released is an emotionless lump that starts the listener in one place and takes them nowhere. Mitochondrion have created, with the opening of Parasignosis, probably one of the more effective album openings. I attribute it to the sound of someone dragging chains across a concrete floor. Extreme metal has become in many ways a cartoon of itself. Bands like Mitochondrion and Portal are working to keep at least SOME art still in it.

6. Arizmenda – Without Circumference Nor Center (Crepusculo Negro)

I’ve been a follower of the “Indigenous metal” Black Twilight Circle since I saw Volahn and Ashdautas kill it on tour with Bone Awl in 2009. Crepusculo Negro is a fairly disorganized group of “Les Legions Noire” obsessed musicians from the LA area. LLN were an obscure French collaborative in the mid 90′s who made arguably some of the most exciting black metal of the time. Crepusculo Negro function in about the same way. Several acts sharing several musicians all releasing everything on cassette in limited runs. I don’t think either collective are 100% genius material, but when they get it going just the right way, they strike gold. I won’t bore you with the details, but Arizmenda are one of the more effective acts of the original 6 Crepusculo Negro acts. They have released two very long cassettes and they have both been very intense. Without Circumference Nor Center is obviously the one they released this year.

7. Alaric – s/t (20 Buck Spin)

There is alot of early Amebix and Killing Joke in Alaric’s sound. Considering Amebix topped my list for the year and Killing Joke have topped the list for my LIFE, I’m always into a band that can pull off good old post-punk industrial blighted nihilism. Shades of 1982-83 Cure coupled with Jaz Coleman’s despondent roar. Alot of record people are kicking around the “deathrock” tag to get people to pay attention to their recordings and this is one of the few that that tag can stick to. There ARE heavy doses of Joy Division and Christian Death as well, but this is no candy-ass Hot Topic goth trip either. It’s heavy as balls without being metal too.

8. Loss – Despond (Profound Lore)

This is the other essential release PFL put out this year. Loss took ‘Funeral Doom’ to a new place this year… OK, maybe that’s giving it a little too much credit. There really is only so much you can do with the limitations of the style. Despond is alltogether more mournful and more celebratory of total misery than 9/10ths of the rest of the ‘Funeral Doom’ crop as a result of it’s sense of melody and harmony. ‘Despond’ is more a slower, bastard cousin to My Dying Bride than the granddaddies of the style, Skepticism or Thergothon, to whom most followers cling closely to. Loss are not re-inventing the wheel by any means, but they sure did drop-forge one hell of a wheel for their debut.

9. Nader Sadek – In The Flesh (Season Of Mist)

Anyone who was salty about the new Morbid Angel album needs to just throw their money at this instead. Nader Sadek is the visual artist behind the stage show for some of the more recent Mayhem concerts. Not sure how he did this, but he assembled an A list cast of players to put together this record with. Steve Tucker (ex-Morbid Angel) was the vocalist, Flo Mounier (Cryptopsy) played drums and one of Mayhem’s live guitarists took care of the guitar and bass, as well as a cast of several other guitarists who threw solos down. Sadek did not play an instrument or really take a musical role at all and apparently just told these guys what he wanted the songs to do. Sadek had total control and somehow through this bizarre arrangement was able to put together one of the most satisfying “straight death metal” platters of the year.

10. Hell – Human Remains (Nuclear Blast)

I didn’t know what to think of this originally when it was released. It didn’t bode well. Surviving members of an ignored and unfairly failed NWOBHM act from the early 80′s are reformed by the now-famous(ish) guitar student of the founder of the band who committed suicide after the record label that committed to release their debut album folded 2 weeks before they were to begin recording in like 1987 or something. It all sounded so sentimental and precious. I ran across a link to it and downloaded it one day and found out it was absolutely BRILLIANT. I had to order a physical copy for myself because it was such a heartfelt tribute and fucking GOOD it deserved my money. Hotshot producer Andy Sneap (and founding member of one of my favorite 80′s thrash acts, Sabbat.) assembled surviving ex members of Hell and laid down proper recordings of their original 80′s songs, with Sneap handling guitar duties of his fallen instructor.  Said fallen instructor’s thespian brother handles vocal duties with aplomb… and fucking NAILS it. To be a good metal vocalist, one has to have a touch of the theatrical, so who better to handle it than a trained actor? Dude seriously has some amazing pipes, and some of his more OTT flourishes work amazingly well, whereas a guy who was “just a vocalist” would have sounded awkward or flat. This is simply a record that needs to be heard to be believed.  This is 1979/80 era NWOBHM of the highest order and is not to be ignored.

Color Me Impressed – the honorable mentions:

M83 – Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming

Absu – Abzu

Krisiun – The Great Execution

Autopsy – Macabre Eternal

Prosanctus Inferi – Red Streams Of Flesh

Wolves In The Throne Room – Celestial Lineage

Ash Borer/Fell Voices split

Zola Jesus – Conatus

Krallice – Diotima

SubRosa – No Help For The Mighty Ones

Mitochondrion – Parasignosis

Midnight – Satanic Royalty

Ash Borer – s/t

Barghest – s/t

OK, it’s February.  So sue me.  Not like much worthwhile has been released in the past 4 months anyways.   I had two reviews half written for the longest time.  The file actually says “November record reviews” and I left it that way so I’d know what a fuck I am for not getting it together.  I’ve also got a “best of” list of 2010 written.  I’ve just lacked the time to put them together with pictures and stuff.  I decided to hold off until I could get something written for the new Devil’s Blood album, since it’s probably the first release in a long time that deserves mention in this column.  Before any more water passes under the bridge though…

The Devil’s Blood – The Thousandfold Epicenter (Van Records/Metal Blade Records)

Now THIS kinda record is the reason I do this column. There was a time when people described something that was psychologically taxing as “heavy” and that is how the term should be used in context of discussion concerning this band. In that regard, The Devil’s Blood are probably the heaviest “pop” band around right now (if the term “pop” can even apply to an act with actual guitars in their music anymore.) I can’t think of one act that could possibly have a song on the radio right next to Kings Of Leon or The Black Keys and be so full on… LUCIFERIAN. (Well, aside from Madonna’s performance as a gilded Baphomet, replete with crown of Hathor for the Superbowl halftime show.) I’ve seen all too many comparisons of this band to Blue Oyster Cult, another band who used occult imagery to gain a foothold in the marketplace. With BOC though, it was so evident that the occult imagery was just a cloak that they put on for the stage and removed when they were done. The music was peppy and catchy and not all that dark past the first album. The Devil’s Blood are a similar beast only in regards to the fact that they are occult based hard rock, but the occult is something that is applied to their face like stage makeup and rubbed into their hair. It takes a half hour with a jar of cold cream and a shower to get that stuff off rather than just hanging it on a hook or folding it up neatly and putting it back in the suitcase. It’s the difference between a vat of corn syrup and food coloring, or a vat of actual butcher’s blood. If they are someone else behind closed doors, then this is a well guarded fact, at least for the time being. The Devil’s Blood I tend to liken more to Jefferson Airplane (and not just because they have a female vocalist) more because the music is dark, swirling, driving, psychedelic, and at times, almost impenetrably dense. I could totally plug them into either the west coast Matrix scene, or the Max’s Kansas City NYC Andy Warhol scene. The main failing of modern “psyche” oriented acts is that through all the thick molasses of their tone, the audience can easily forget what song they are listening to. Upon first listen, I was thinking that The Thousandfold Epicenter was going to fall prey to these trappings as well. I think it was just a trick of a layered, dense feeling production. I’m noticing that as I’ve listened to it since it came out (Yes, I waited until the release date like a good boy.) the layers peeled back pretty quickly. It doesn’t take much to let the melodies seep into the cracks and take root. This is rarely an issue for most of the trash that passes itself off as “interesting music” to people who like to listen to stuff that gets licensed for use in Volkswagen commercials. Nothing seeps into anywhere and their twee pandering is completely gone from the mind by the time of the next commercial. So much energy is expended maintaining their style, that the songwriting is lost. The songs on The Thousandfold Epicenter are not only expertly written, but they are brilliantly sequenced and flow seamlessly either through deft arrangement or some spacey interludes, though past “Fire Burning” there isn’t much actual viable album left. (Aside from the energy killing early denoument of “Everlasting Saturnalia” and the first half of “The Madness Of Serpents” the rest of the album is mostly space) That’s fine as you still have 44 solid minutes of the best rock and roll you are going to hear all year, which is about the perfect length for an album.

The record is sequenced in such a way that though there are a few lengthy 7 to 9 minute jams, it’s easy to not notice that a half hour as passed. “On The Wings Of Gloria” officially opens the record after sliding out of a two and a half minute intro track into a full-on Hawkwind psyche raveup. Believe it or not, it’s one of the weaker songs on the album. It just gets better from there for the next 40 or so minutes. The first half of the album seems to lean forward, focusing it’s energy on the twin towers of the 9 minute title track and early-release single, “Fire Burning.” After this point, the album is clearly spent, but so is the listener. There is still 29 minutes to play through, and though I may not be interested in fluff and space, it’s still worth leaving the record on. I am just a hawk about energy and for me, the album stops DEAD at “Everlasting Saturnalia.” Though it is a fine piece of work, and I am sure some of the more psyche minded will surely be into the much lighter headspace of the remaining 29 minutes of music, it probably isn’t going to get much of a fair spin after this review is written. I don’t think I could recommend an album higher for fans of actual inspired music. There’s no reason these guys couldn’t play Coachella or any other pop festival aside from the fact that people will be scared of catching some sort of swine flu after getting splattered with something that AIN’T just corn syrup.  You can risk infection by bloodborne pathogen by attending a performance during the month of April as The Devil’s Blood crisscrosses the US with fellow plague-slingers Watain, Behemoth and In Solitude as part of the Decibel Magazine tour.  I’ll be at the Columbus show, standing toward the back of the room, likely with a T shirt wrapped around my face like it was at the last Watain tour I attended.  I guess it’s as good a way as any to get me to buy a shirt.

Ritual Necromancy – Oath Of The Abyss (Dark Descent)

With the success of bands like Portal, who tend to revere atmosphere above all (down to the bizarre spelling of their song titles and mysterious stage names like “Horror Illogium”) to the overpowering stench and ritual nature of Watain’s live show and visual presentation, death and black metal has taken a decidedly atmospheric turn since the beginning of the decade. The idea that the music itself is a cult experience rather than just a record you passively put on has gained popularity again for the first time since the 2nd wave of black metal in the early 90′s. Live shows will not soon be forgotten, not because you lost a tooth in the pit or your favorite shirt got ripped by some juiced up skinhead, but because you looked on the stage and saw something the equivalent of a Mark Riddick album cover in living, weird, and unhuman glory. Powdery corpse paint and spikes has been replaced with stage wear one could get hepatitis from.  It’s not just about the fastest blast beats and getting a good, clear, well mixed recording on some high falutin’ record label’s dime. To really bring it nowadays in the death metal field, one must craft one’s music to invoke the very exhalation of cosmic horror through the listener’s earbuds. The best examples of this would be in death metal’s favorite mid-90′s mudfests like Immolation and Incantation’s 2nd albums, respectively “Here In After” and “Mortal Throne Of The Nazarene.” On the surface, they are low-endy walls of distortion, spattered drums and vocal muck. Upon further inspection, you hear a nearly impenetrable wall of roiling, intertwining riffs that flout any sense of melody or theoretic structure short of playing them occasionally in fours and rarely repeating in any known pattern. The intent is on creating a constant barrage of unsettling and dark moods. Since then, death metal players struck from this mold have gone from murky serendipity to measured attempts to recreate the oppressive atmospheres of these albums on their own recordings.

Recording a murky, downtuned mudfest of an album is the easy part and that’s where Ritual Necromancy start to lose me. Don’t get me wrong, the album is very effective in achieving what they set out to do, but SOOOO many bands are doing this stuff now that it’s hard for me to separate Ritual Necromancy from the rest of the cloudy soup. Drums flump along at breakneck pace, slightly ahead of everything else the mix. Guitars roar “HM2 buzzsaw” riffage that occasionally seeps some genius (almost catchy) anti-melody into the mix. Vocals are delivered in that under-enunciated, dry, guttural rasp that Craig Pillard pretty much invented with “Onward To Golgotha.” The whole thing absolutely reeks, and that’s a compliment. So far, much has been written (not just by me) about the unsettling nature of the recording itself, but what about the SONGS? Well, they don’t really do much to separate themselves from Vasaeleth, Antediluvian, Father Befouled, Heresiarch, Impetuous Ritual, Mitochondrion and the like. I think for the most part, the doomed out sections are where this sound becomes most effective, the riffs get to take center stage and occasionally, songs can be discerned from one another.  The closing riff to “The Chasm” is particularly harrowing.  Some things work better than others when it comes to this style.  For me, it’s the basement-sludge-stomp riff offset by the keening, whining upper register line that howls a sorrowful tune of mourning that just screams DEATH METAL to me.  Those are the moments when the atmosphere is most effective, no matter how bombed out or “necro” the production is.  Moments like that come straight out of the book of Asphyx and aim straight for the 14 year old kid in me, melting my cynical heart like watching my team make a winning touchdown or something.

Prosanctus Inferi – Red Streams Of Flesh (Nuclear War Now)

I was SUPER stoked on the Prosanctus debut album “Pandemonic Ululations Of Vesperic Palpitation” and named it one of my favorite recordings of 2010. It was a record whose creation was marred by equipment failure, general bad luck and the tragic suicide of their drummer. Antichristus didn’t live to see his recorded work released and that’s really sad because he was part of one of the more unique recordings of the year, and not just because of the ridiculous song titles (“Pontifical Undulations of Blasphemic Gesticulation” Really? Satan is clearly going to enlist Jake Kohn for naming Jeopardy categories when he joins Alex Trebek in hell.) It was an album with an actual creepy atmosphere without being muddy for the sake of muddy or having over-long interludes that stop an album dead in it’s tracks. I actually kinda consider it a more musically accomplished cousin of Beherit’s “Oath Of Black Blood” in regards to it’s twisting song structures, weird sound effects and compact efficiency (both albums run about 25 minutes). This year finds Prosanctus with a new drummer in Deadsea’s Jeremy Spears and a new EP of recordings in “Red Streams Of Flesh” and once again, it should be a year-end list banger if it wasn’t for the fact that it was only 4 new songs. The production is cleaner and tighter all around, but still sufficiently suffocating. The new songs are much more developed and longer, (The total time of the 4 new songs is half the run-time of the full length) and two re-recorded songs from the full length vastly benefit from the update. Taken as a whole, “Red Streams Of Flesh” is crispier and punchier, whereas “Pandemonic” was a solid, sticky mass. Both approaches have worked brilliantly in their own ways and as the band’s body of work expands, so does their effectiveness unlike some of their less creative contemporaries. Prosanctus is one of the few cult bands kicking around the scene right now with a truly unique take on the whole throwback to the low buck and speedy death/black metal favorites of yore like Beherit, Nuclear Death and Sarcofago that has recently been so fashionable. Unlike bands that just mix up a bag of nasty words and pick any two (Bestial, Goat, Blasphemy, Sodomy, Anal, Violence, Blackened, Filth… and so forth) Prosanctus puts thought, research, wit, and personality into what they are doing, providing evidence that their darkest inspiration MUST come from places other than a pedestrian scene of panda-faced cartoon characters bellowing about Lucifer. While there has to be some of that, all that is horrific isn’t just inspired from horror.

Horrendous – The Chills (Dark Descent)

I’ll drop one more review quickly, just to show that I am “current” and not just writing about stuff that came out months ago.  I got this about a week ago and it has gotten a lot of spin lately.  I was just going to put it in the “listening suggestions” column at the bottom, but I figured I had room for one more review.  Besides, the Dark Descent guy is constantly posting stuff on Facebook showing how hard he is working to get mailorder out on time.  So if having TWO Dark Descent releases reviewed here ain’t enough of a plug, go to the DD website and ordering Horrendous, Ritual Necromancy, Timeghoul or the reissue of the first Mitochondrion album and you won’t be disappointed.  I have had a passion for the early 90′s death metal sound since Carcass and Entombed went “Death & Roll.”  That was when I lost interest and just started listening to The Cure and Fields Of The Nephilim because life wasn’t a party for me back then and I didn’t want to listen to party metal.  Horrendous is the sound of that exact 2nd wave of death metal before the blast beat took over.  We’re talking 1989-1990, so a pretty small window.  Lots of  HM2 pedal “Buzzsaw” guitars and death metal vocals the way they SHOULD be done.  Horrendous “get it” when it comes to nailing that sound.  Vocals are properly throat lacerating in the grand tradition of Jeff Beccera and Martin Van Drunen rather than gurgled or barked.  The guitars are lovingly and thoughtfully EQ’d to cut right though you, while the solos are played with proper thoughtless abandon, and lots of divebombs.  Horrendous stick closely to these rules and write SONGS too rather than just writing a bunch of death metal.  There are snatches of melody here and there, and just enough. Not so much that a part goes from “worth humming along” to turning into sports talk show bumper music like so many promising acts did the early 00′s did.  It’s a very thin balance and Horrendous walk it proudly.  I haven’t had a chance to give this record more than a few fair spins, but I doubt if my later opinions of it will change much more than they will from right now.  Of the glut of 90′s death metal resurgence albums that are hitting right now, “The Chills” has already gotten more complete listens from me in a weeks time than many of the bigger releases that just sit on the shelf, most of which I could never get through the entire album because it was just BORING.  “The Chills” is neither forward thinking nor innovative, but it also isn’t boring and scratches a very nagging itch that many other releases have so far failed to scratch.

Been listening to (and so should you):

Fate’s Warning – The Spectre Within

Dark Angel – Live Scars

English Dogs – Forward Into Battle

Prince – Self Titled/Dirty Mind/Controversy

NEU! – ’75

Stoked on:

Christian Mistress -Possession

Tukaaria & Odz Manouk releases on Profound Lore

Asphyx – Deathhammer

Goatwhore – Blood For The Master

new Black Breath and Acephalix albums in the can

“There’s a certain amount of snobbery. It’s kind of disheartening. I never thought I’d care. But it would’ve been nice to have some recognition, just for the hours put in.”

“I don’t think the Oscars like commercial films, or kids’ films, unless they’re directed byMartin Scorsese.  I was watching Hugo the other day and going, ‘Why was this nominated and we’re not?’ I was slightly miffed.”-Daniel Radcliffe on the lack of nomination…

This is a fair sentiment.  After years and years of working up to that film, it’s understood why he (as the lead character!)  would be “miffed”.   Let’s be honest, this, along with tons of other commercially successful films, are ignored every year.  Very rarely do you find yourself impressed with a large portion of Best Picture nominees, let alone having even fucking heard of them.  Awards shows are not geared towards the people who actually go to see movies.  It’s true.  I hate to throw words like “elitist” around, but it certainly feels that way.  In fact, I’m going to give you a run down of this year’s Best Picture nominees for the Academy Awards:

-The Artist

-The Descendants

-Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close

-The Help

-Hugo

-Midnight in Paris

-Moneyball

-The Tree of Life

-War Horse

Okay, I’m not going to stand here and lie to you.  Moneyball is fantastic stuff.  But, I’m saying that as a huge fan of baseball AND the book the film was based on.   I was already quite familiar with the story, therefore, quite excited.  Had we taken Brad Pitt and Jonah Hill out of the equation however, would any of us actually give a damn about a film solely revolving around Billy Ball? Answer: NO.  Just us baseball nerds.  Moneyball is only one of the nominees in this category.  The other films do nothing to get me screaming for more.  Most of them seem boring in comparison to other films released within the acceptable time frame.  For example:  Would ANY of us have given a shit about The Artist had it not gotten a robust hand job from The Golden Globes?  Hell, most of us did not know it existed!  (Sidenote: A movie made as a “tribute” to silent film that was not shot on film…yeah.)  With the exception of only a few of the aforementioned titles, this category is chock full of unknown/forgettable titles that will be in the $5.99 and Under bin alongside Lost in Translation very soon.  That’s par for the course with awards season.  It’s the only time you’ll see the studios not measuring success in box office receipts.

The saving grace in all this is knowing that we, the people who pay for movie tickets, don’t truly give a damn about what film critics (ahem) or trophies have to say.  We love what we love because it captivates us.  Yes, people went to see the movie The Tree of Life.  But did we draw the correlation between the number of audience members with ponytails, Birkenstocks, and Chai Tea addictions? Probably not.  All kidding aside, Daniel Radcliffe’s reaction, though warranted, is futile.  The “academy” (whatever the fuck that is) has been ignoring genre films of all sorts for years.  It’s just the nature of the beast.  A prime example would be The Nick Refn movie, DRIVE.  Easily one of the best films to be released in 2011, it had everything: intriguing story arc, characters you could emotionally invest in, a logical/suitable soundtrack, and excellent cinematography.  When nominations for this year’s Oscars were announced, there was a mass public outcry over Ryan Gosling and Albert Brooks not getting any form of nomination.  They each put forth intense performances that had me wondering the same.  WHY would these 2 NOT get the nomination?!  What could possibly be going through the minds of those voting?!  Then it occurred to me…it doesn’t fucking matter. At all.

Awards shows hold about as much weight as crybaby comment threads on this here interma’net.  They’re bullshit. Fluff.  Empty calories.  They mean absolutely nothing.  Do they make a movie any less impactful?  Nope.  Does winning one bolster the legacy of a great movie?  Sometimes temporarily, but not for the long haul.  The movie’s ability to impact its audience does that (a question the late, great Ken Russell could have answered with ease.)  I will readily admit that I find a way to force Gaspar Noe’s name into many conversations.  I am an obsessed fanboy.  I think EVERYONE should experience his films.  They resonate with me in a way very few films do.  I re-examine my ethics after I watch his movies. I have to look at myself in the mirror differently.  They change me.  While I know I just certified my insanity with this Unabomber-like proclamation, it also serves as a good addendum to all of this.  That being, his movies have done all of that without being awarded a trophy.  Gaspar Noe does not wear gold-plated diapers and eat dinosaur eggs for breakfast.  Instead, he makes his art out of emotional necessity and doesn’t give any sort of organization or academy a single thought.  That exact passion is what draws all of us to the things we discuss on this website and in conversation with our friends.  Our favorite films do not win Oscars.  Very, VERY rarely do our favorite filmmakers even get acknowledged.  David Lynch, Pier Paolo Pasolini, Lars Von Trier, Gaspar Noe, Rainer Werner Fassbinder-all names that have been given a lack of attention to a criminal degree.  But it doesn’t change what they’ve done.  Their contributions to cinema are invaluable.  Still, our world is different though, isn’t it?  In this world, Ken Russell’s THE DEVILS is BEN-HUR.  In this world, the name Romero holds a god-like weight that is reserved for the name Spielberg in theirs’.  Neither world is wrong, just different.  This is what makes those cries of injustice useless.  When the day ends, a movie’s legacy is measured in longevity.  So, in 30 years when film students are viewing DRIVE or reading 2 chapters on the films of Guillermo Del Toro and haven’t even heard of The Descendants, then the weight of a trophy will truly be measured.  Cult/genre films (or films that have those leanings) get bypassed because a studio exec’s wife thinks George Clooney needs another statue to put in the shed of his summer house.  It’s old hat…and it shouldn’t mean shit to us.

This brings it back full circle to Mr. Radcliffe.  His voicing of frustration is valid. Hell, it’s important.  This lets us know that this shit isn’t just a paycheck to these cats. In fact, it’s on the same level of importance to the performer as it is the audience.  That sentiment should be seen as comforting.  It should also be seen as the exact reason why we needn’t worry about Harry Potter not being nominated for an Oscar.  At the risk of sounding like some sort of reverse elitist, “their” world is different than “our” world.  Meaning we do not go on the advice of an awards panel.  We go to the movies to get the shit scared out of us, or laugh our asses off, or to get our adrenaline moving into hyper-speed, or all of the above.  Daniel Radcliffe’s contribution to cinema’s history thus far cannot be measured in how many trophies he’s piling up.  But it can be measured in other things.  Such as premieres of Harry Potter movies that are attended by mass crowds who will risk the elements to scream out to their beloved  Harry.  It can be measured in record-breaking worldwide box office numbers.  And on a personal note, it can be measured in countless times curling up with my wife and son for the day to watch a whole mess of Harry Potter movies together.  A trophy won’t get you that sort of lifespan.  Same goes for DRIVE.  Nicolas Winding Refn has cemented his cult status several times over.  This time, however, he did it with so much style that fans of the film felt obligated to scream out in its defense.  That’s a pure loyalty that will insure DRIVE being shown at Alamo Drafthouse 20 years from now.  So, Mr. Radcliffe-let them have their trophies.  You have far greater things to hold onto.  Being in a film series that transcends generations is bigger than an award.  It’s your destiny…get it?  Cuz’ he’s “the chosen one”?

This rant isn’t meant to do anything other than remind us of genre film’s place.  Your favorite horror/sci-fi/fantasy/comic book/exploitation/romantic comedy/porno is never, ever, ever, ever going to win an Oscar.  Ever.  Not a snowball’s chance in hell.  That’s totally cool.  It’s importance to you is what makes these films so successful.  That’s why The Avengers movie is highly anticipated and a British period piece is not.  They’re awarded by the pretentious because they assume it’s what should be awarded.  In short, it means nothing.  From here on out, we need to make a promise to ourselves as the supporters of genre/subversive cinema.  No more whining.  The constant Internet threads about the travesty of our favorite films of the year not being acknowledged by the Academy, must cease.  The memes (and the use of that word. BLECH!) crying bullshit every time Nathan Fillion or Bruce Campbell isn’t recognized for an Emmy sort-of-something-or-other ends now.  No more turning over tables when John Waters doesn’t get the Cecil B. Demille.  Sam Raimi will not receive a lifetime achievement award, so stop petitioning for it.  Instead, do your part to support the movies (and makers) you love.  Pay for the ticket to go see that thing!  Go see it more than once, in fact.  Then, when it comes out on blu-ray, buy it!  Buy the 2 disc special collector’s limited edition in the special packaging.  After 2 years, go back and buy it again when the anniversary edition comes out.  Frame the movie poster in your home.  Tattoo your favorite character’s face on your body (again, ahem…).  Years later, share it with your kids.  Keep cult film alive the same way we always have;  by turning our back to bullshit academies and supporting KICK ASS MOVIES!!!  Our devotion is our greatest weapon.  We are the cult in cult films.  Join US!!!

Hello again, Brothers and Sisters of the Psychotronic Video World! You may recall a few months ago when that unholy fucker of mothers, Wes Allen, asked me to contribute a tribute piece on Pam Grier. Well, Brothers and Sisters, it got me thinking about who else deserved a tribute article. I came up with a list; today, we’ll be looking at football star (that’s American Football), actor and director Fred “The Hammer” Williamson.  First off, let me just say that anyone who can pull off having the nickname “The Hammer” is either the Norse God of Thunder or otherwise a certified stone cold badass.  And let me just say, Fred “The Hammer” Williamson is a STONE COLD BADASSSSSSS.

And how did he get the nickname “The Hammer” you ask? Well, when he was drafted by the San Francisco 49ers after college, his attitude towards being asked to play defense caused him to hit his target too hard, leading the coach to tell him to stop “hammering.”  The nickname stuck.  in 1960, he spent a year playing for the Pittsburgh Steelers, then switched to the Oakland Raiders for four seasons, followed by three seasons with the Kansas City Chiefs.  He played in the very first Super Bowl before ultimately retiring from football in 1967.

Following his retirement from football, Williamson tried his hand at architecture, though ultimately decided that it wasn’t for him and tried his hand at acting.  His earliest role was in an episode of the original Star Trek, “The Cloud Minders.”  His earliest film role was in 1970, the film version of M*A*S*H*.

in 1972, Williamson appeared in HAMMER, the story of a black boxer who rises to the top with the aid of the Mafia, before being ordered to take a fall — or else his girlfriend gets it.  This was Williamson’s first Blaxploitation film, but far from his last.  He followed HAMMER with a trio of Blaxploitation Westerns — THE LEGEND OF NIGGER CHARLEY, THE SOUL OF NIGGER CHARLEY, and BOSS NIGGER (1972, 1973, and 1975, respectively; BOSS NIGGER is currently on DVD as simply BOSS) and urban action films such as BLACK CAESAR — a Blaxploitation updating of the Edward G. Robinson classic LITTLE CAESAR — and its sequel, HELL UP IN HARLEM.

Films like JOSHUA, ADIOS AMIGO, and TAKE A HARD RIDE continued Williamson’s Western work, THE INGLORIOUS BASTARDS brought him into war movies, and by the 1980s, with Blaxploitation’s star waning, Williamson traveled to Italy to find work.  This lead to such post-apocalyptic greats as THE NEW BARBARIANS, 1990: THE BRONX WARRIORS, and WARRIOR OF THE WASTELAND.  Italians had not had their fill of Blaxploitation, leading to the BLACK COBRA series of films.

In 1996, The Hammer found a new audience with Robert Rodriguez’ FROM DUSK TIL DAWN, fighting vampires, and more recently, he’s appeared in the film version of STARSKY AND HUTCH, the anal-probe-centric SPACED OUT (which he admits “I don’t know why I did it”) and 2011′s ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE: REDEMPTION.

March 2011, I was lucky enough to get to meet The Hammer at Monster Mania 17 in Cherry Hill, New Jersey.  As I approached his table, Fred Williamson looked at me skeptically, and asked, “Are you even old enough to know who I am?” He pointed to a few of the 8x10s he had at his table, asking me to identify the movies they were from.  I did so, because hey, I know my shit.  I wouldn’t be asking for an autograph if I didn’t know who he was, right? Impressed, he made out the autograph to me, and I went to shake his hand.  He stopped me, took my hand, curled it into a fist, and fist-bumped me.  Pure class.  When I asked for a photo with him, he gripped my hand and cracked a lopsided grin, flashing the peace sign with his free hand.

Look at that jacket.  Black buckskin fringe and Amerindian beadwork? You have to be a badass to sport a jacket like that confidently.

Convention Season 2012 is upon us, and here is a quick guide to help you all plan your first half of 2012.  So start saving up your pennies and head out to see some of your favorite actors, authors, artists, or directors wherever they might be hanging out this year.    Of course you could always head out and support independent horror and hit up a film festival or two.  This list is in no way the be all end all, so anything else worth sharing by all means let me know.

Dead Winter (Feb 17-18)                      London, KY           Tony Todd, Alex Vincent, Ari Lehman

Days of the Dead (Mar 9-11)                Atlanta, GA            Roddy Piper, Sid Haig, Linnea Quigley

Monster Mania (Mar 9-11)                   Cherry Hill, NJ        Robert England, Blair Witch Reunion

Horror Realm  (Mar 10)                        Pittsburgh, PA        Lawrence C. Connolly, Mike Watt

Horrorhound (Mar 23-25)                    Columbus, OH        Pam Grier, Elvira, Stuart Gordon

Mad Monster Party (Mar 23-25)         Charlotte, NC          Rutger Hauer, Angus Scrimm

Indy Horror Fest (Mar 23-25)             Chicago, IL              Film Festival

World Horror Con (Mar 29-Apr 1)      Salt Lake City         Sherrilyn Kenyon, Mike Mignola

Cinema Wasteland (Mar 29-Apr 1)     Strongsville, OH     John Saxon, PJ Soles, Lloyd Kaufman

Full Moon Festival (Apr 6-8)              Nashville, TN          Tony Todd, Tom Atkins, Kane Hodder

Chicago Fear Fest (Apr 13-14)           Chicago, IL             Film Festival

Monsterpalooza (Apr 13-15)              Burbank, CA           Ve Neill, Jessica Harper, Tom Holland

Salt City Horror Fest (Apr 14)            Syracuse, NY          Horror films on 35mm film festival

Blood on the Beach (Apr 20-22)       Virginia Beach        Felissa Rose, Kane Hodder

Troma Dance (Apr 27-28)                   Asbury Park, NJ      Film Festival

Chiller Theatre (Apr 27-29)               Parsippany, NJ        Boondock Saints Reunions

Motor City Nightmares (Apr 27-29)  Detroit, MI               Doug Bradley, Dee Wallace

Texas Frightmare (May 4-6)              Dallas, TX               Ernest Borgnine, Tom Savini, Traci Lords

Billings Zombie Prom (May 18)        Billings, MT              Alex Vincent

Crypticon (May 25-27)                       Seattle, WA              TBA

May-hem  (May 25-27)                       Orlando, FL              Linda Hamilton

Contamination (June 15-17)             St. Louis, MO           The Munsters, Ron Jeremy

Monster Bash (June 22-24)              Butler, PA                 Classic Monster Movie Convention

Fright Night (June 29-July 1)            Louisville, KY            Bruce Campbell, James Marsters

So, who’s going where?  Who do you all want to see? Who has some great convention tales to share for any newcomers?  But above all have a great convention season!!

Greetings, Brothers and Sisters of the Psychotronic Video World.  Wes asked me if I’d be willing to write a bit about the intersection between plain ol’ ordinary exploitation flicks and the more explicit blue movies, particularly during the “Golden Age of Porn” in the 1970s.  This is a topic I knew nothing about, but agreed to do some research and see what I could do.

First off, I’d like to point out that porn is nothing new.  Or rather, I should say that sexual imagery and created depictions of sexual acts are nothing new.  Hell, I would bet money that the Venus of Willendorf was a spank-aid for some horny proto-Austrian 22,000 years ago.  “Pornography,” as we know it and in some cases demonize it today, is an invention of the Victorian Era.  While Queen Vic herself was an unrelenting sex machine in her youth who kept lurid and lavishly explicit diaries of her romps with Prince Albert, culturally the Victorian era was fairly prudish.  Indeed, when the gorgeously frescoed and sculptured brothels of the buried Roman city of Pompeii were uncovered, they were swiftly bricked up by blushing Archaeologists.

But our story today starts off in the 1950s.  The Golden Age of Hollywood was ending, the studio control of theaters was deemed a monopoly and forcibly broken up, and the movie business was facing some very serious competition from a new invader in peoples’ homes: the Television.  The Hays Production Code, which limited what could be shown in movies (CASABLANCA ends the way it does because under the Code, the “adulterers” Rick and Ilsa could not be shown having a happy future together), was weakening, and television was under an even more restrictive code.  The answer, then, was to open up movies to show things that could not be shown on television, thus encouraging people to go to the theaters.

In 1959, the soft-core “nudie cutie” film was born with Russ Meyer’s THE IMMORAL MR. TEAS.  These films titillated audiences with bare legs, simulated love-making and the occasional flash of bare breasts.  These films went on for a number of years, but towards the end of the 1960s, more aggressive films, called “roughies,” began to take their place.  These films often featured men in power roles over women, forcing sexual congress or featuring S&M elements.  Additionally, foreign films featuring nudity and sex began to creep into American Arthouse theaters.

The kicker came in 1969, with the release of the documentary PORNOGRAPHY IN DENMARK.  It was allegedly a documentary; that meant it was educational, right? Damn right it was — and with full penetration to boot.  That same year, Andy Warhol’s BLUE MOVIE was theatrically released, though running into censorship issues — and while BLUE MOVIE features explicit sequences of a couple enjoying sexual intercourse, they are not the focal point of the film.  The first “true” full-length, non-documentary porno, if you ask me, is MONA: THE VIRGIN NYMPH, from 1970.  Porn, and with it, “Porno Chic,” was born, as “Mona” (Fifi Watson) promises her mother she’ll remain a virgin until marriage…though convinced that oral sex doesn’t count.  Ultimately both she and her mother enjoy her fiance’s charms, before he sets up an orgy for his blushing bride to be to demonstrate her skills as a fellatrix.

While not particularly groundbreaking (MONA uses the same “formula” of boy/girl, girl/girl, orgy that David F. Friedman was using a decade earlier in lighter sexploitation flicks), MONA was the start of the hardcore porn industry in America.  But it was two years later, with the release of DEEP THROAT, that porn really grabbed the American populace by the balls and said, “I’m here to stay!” Watching DEEP THROAT, it’s almost hard to believe that this silly, silly film about a woman whose clitoris is in the back of her throat is the top-grossing porno of all time.  But then, THE IMMORAL MR. TEAS sparked a revolution while being a story about a door-to-door salesman who imagines every woman he sees as being naked.

So really, I don’t think it’s fair to consider “exploitation films” and “porno films” as two separate, distinct entities.  There’s very much a continuum at play here, from THE IMMORAL MR. TEAS to SCUM OF THE EARTH to BLUE MOVIE to DEEP THROAT.

Our friends at Synapse Films have your best interest in mind, body and… well… in your pants too. Cumming this April… rrrr… I mean coming this April Synapse will be releasing two films that will be fun to watch, horny or not. Before I start sounding like the back pages of your favorite skin mag we introduce DEBAUCHERY and TRUE STORY OF A WOMAN IN JAIL: SEX HELL. The cover art pretty much clues you in that this isn’t family entertainment. True Story of a Woman in Jail: Sex Hell takes us back to the women in prison films of the 70′s (a simpler time). This film is sure to bring you a one liner or two to impress the ladies. Of course if you’re looking through women in prison flicks for pick up lines you probably want to avoid dating for awhile. Debauchery on the other hand focuses on your wildest, outlandish desired made reality. Read below for Synapse’s formal announcement. Make sure to stock up on your lube of choice and buy a fresh set of batteries for your… tooth brush. This ain’t your daddy’s 9 1/2 Weeks even though its from the 1980′s.

TWO NEW THRILLERS IN THE NIKKATSUEROTIC FILMS COLLECTION!

TRUE STORY OF A WOMAN IN JAIL: SEX HELL and DEBAUCHERY

JAPANESE EROTIC DELIGHTS — WITH AN EDGE!

————————————————

AWham! Bam! Thank you, ma’am! double-whammy sexy slammerdouble feature from the masterminds of Nikkatsu!

Due to their juvenile crimes, a group of fresh younggirls is thrown into a horrid, squalid jail. They soonwish they were back on the outside, as a gang of inmates subjects this “fresh meat” to the horrors of being locked up.  Mayumi, a new inmate with a mysterious past, stands up for herselfand fights back!  NO ONE is going to push her around, and she hatches an escape plan to seekrevenge on the person who had her incarcerated.

TRUESTORY OF A WOMAN IN JAIL: SEX HELL is a sleazy, sexually graphic and surprisingly violententry in the “women in prison” genre.  The openinguniform changing, nude medical examination sessions,communal scrubbings in the bathhouse, nimble-fingeredlesbians and vicious catfights are all here… and more!

In DEBAUCHERY,the sexy Ryôko Watanabe stars as Ami, a jaded housewifewho pitches herself, body and soul, into the Tokyodecadence of the decade in an attempt to pep up hermarriage.  She secretly joins the elite “MadameMachiko Society Club” to experiment with discrete sexgames and the thrill of making love to anonymousmen.  The sexual perversion and sick depravity she issubjected to, by her clients, is much more than shebargained for.  Bondage, beads and whips are only thebeginning!  Can she escape this secret life she haschosen, or will it destroy her forever?

Impulse Films proudly presents two historic stunnersfrom the heyday of the violent sex film. Nikkatsu alwaysdelivers. DEBAUCHERYfeatures an original theatrical trailer and both discsinclude liner notes from Japanese film scholar Jasper Sharp.

TRUESTORY OF A WOMAN IN JAIL: SEX HELL (1975)

Disc Info:

Director: Kôyû Ohara Starring: Kozue Hitomi, Seri Kaori,Hiromi Maya Run Time: 72 minutes Release Date: April 10, 2012 Language: Japanese Subtitles: English Aspect Ratio: Anamorphic widescreen(2.35:1) Format: DVD Region: Region 1  Price: $24.95

DEBAUCHERY(1983)

Disc Info:

Director: Hidehiro Ito Starring: Ryoko Watanabe, SerinaNishikawa, Mizuho Nakagawa Run Time: 70 minutes Release Date: April 10, 2012 Language: Japanese Subtitles: English Aspect Ratio: Anamorphic widescreen(1.85:1) Format: DVD Region: Region 1  Price: $24.95

If the headline for this update didn’t catch your attention than the trailer most certainly will. Hailed by the late Ken Russell for its psycho sexual content, Wound promises to titilate you until you scream. The trailer is filled with latex pig masks, blood covered wrestling and spanking (yes… spanking). While I’m sure that all of these fetishes will be taken into a more serious content it is quite difficult to keep from finding the humor in the various style of pig mask. It’s a creepy (sexy?) look that screams must see. Breaking Glass Pictures (you remember Cropsy) gives us another film that’s sure to start a conversation.

From the producers:

Wound breaks all barriers as it explores the dark worlds of mental illness, incest, revenge and death. The film follows Tanya as she searches for Susan, the mother she has never met – a mother who gave her up for dead after Tanya was brutally abused by her own father. Tanya returns from the grave to confront and possess Susan with all her deepest fears and desires, sending her mother into a state of madness and gore filled retribution. A young woman alone attempts to fight the demons that begin to haunt her days and nights — in a series of brutal confrontations with the enemies of the past that want to possess and kill her.

“Wound” has shown nationally and internationally in festivals such as Fantasia FF and Fright Fest London. It has been awarded best female performance for Kate O’Rourke, best director, and best film at “A Night of Horror International Film Festival.  As 2011 came to a close, Wound featured prominently on many horror critics’ “Best Films of the Year” list.

DVD’s are available this mask which gives you plenty of time to figure out which taboos you need to have challenged and whether Wound can challenge them.

We’ll keep our eyes on this one and let you know when we get a change to experience this one.

www.BreakingGlassPictures.com

www.Facebook.com/BreakingGlassPictures

http://www.twitter.com/BreakingGlassPx

I recently heard about an up and coming horror website that plans to feature some great material. Think of it as the MTV of horror only instead of music videos they’ll be showing horror movie shorts by new filmmakers and of their own producing. While sites like this exist already I think this one has promise. The first original film, Bloodbath is clever with a coy play on words to twist your brain.

From the creators:

BloodbathTV.com is intended to be your horror movie fan’s monthly fix where you can watch our latest short film and vote to choose what will appear in the next one. Our first short, Bloodbath, is already online and ballots are opened to visitors to help us choose where our next short will take place.  The results appear on our Facebook page at the end of each deadline and everyone can follow the creative process of our next short through production pics, videos,… well, you get the idea!

We created this site because we love horror in all its form and because we are blessed to work in the movie industry and can produce high quality stuff for very cheap. If things go well we would eventually like to help produce our fans’ ideas and scripts.

So the first thing you should do is stop by the site, enter your age (ooo… doesn’t that make it feel naughty) and watch their first short. Don’t forget to to vote on the second short film that we’ll be making its way to Bloodbath sometime this month. Festival season is upon us, so keep them in mind when your reviewing the entrants in your competition of choice.

Check them out here:BLOODBATH

It’s time to pop the trunk for all you Dead Hooker fans as the Soska Sisters’ seminal debut hits Region 1 DVD courtesy of IFC Midnight. Those overseas may have had the chance to see it already, but now it’s time for the United States to get bloody. America! Fuck Yea!!

To make things even sweeter, the Soskas are asking you on a Date Night tonight, January 31st, 2012. All you need is your new favorite DVD and Twitter. Watch Dead Hooker in a Trunk along with fellow fans and the filmmakers themselves as you can Tweet questions & comments to @Twisted_Twins.

Here’s a quick video to let you anticipate how kick ass this will all be.

Click here to find the Soskas on Twitter. Be sure to follow the Hashtag #DeadHookerInATrunk. Here’s hoping that CJ “Goody Two Shoes” Wallis joins in on the action too.

Keep a black eye peeled on these ladies as they are in the midst of post-production on their highly-anticipated sophomore feature film, American Mary. And if that wasn’t enough, they are also poised to rip open a vein this February with their new Blood Drive PSA to coincide with Women in Horror Month.

If you haven’t already, click here to pick up your copy of DEAD HOOKER IN A TRUNK.

Cold Creepy Feeling from California’s High Voltage is the story of a young couple trying to escape big city living to find a simpler life in the country. What they find is a life simply filled with somebody else’s simple deaths;  in other words, unsettled spirits. While the haunted house has seen a re-emergence in popular cinema in features like the Innkeepers, the Paranormal Activity series and Insidious, Cold Creepy Feeling attempts to bring together the found footgage genre and your typical new house/haunted house story alongside some popular exorcism film tropes. While that’s not an uncommon theme these days our filmmakers have clearly tried to separate themselves from some of the previous genre outings.

Synopsis from the producers:

A young couple, Lisa Younger and Jared Vandenberg, escape the Los Angeles rate race for the quiet life in Joshua Tree, California but paranormal visions and voices quickly turn the house of their dreams into a house of nightmares. They enlist the help of a spiritualist, Alex Damiano, to help exorcise the premises but this only awakens and angers the demonic presence that lurks within. When the town Sherriff, Dennis Woodruff, becomes involved, he discovers that another family mysteriously disappeared 10 years earlier without a trace and he also become entangled in the web of evil horror. (Produced by Keither Kurlander and Dennis Woodruff).

Does the magic combo of super popular ghost story meets, haunted house meets exorcism work for the film? Not completely. While I can appreciate being introduced to the protagonists for an elongated period of time in order to sympathize with them, the change from ordinary couple in a new house story to haunted house story takes an unevenly spaced amount of time to ultimately evolve into the demonic, exorcism, found footage film that Cold Creepy Feeling is trying to be. That does not mean that the movie is without merit or moments of effective “creep out”.  You just have to wait out some fairly uneven audio levels, blurry focus and rocky camera to get to the horror movie you expect to see.

The acting is quite good and the characters do manage to find their way to your heart strings all be it around some dialogue in need of tweaking.  You are absolutely not allowed to use the words, “the power of Christ compels you” if you are trying to make a serious film. It comes off as a joke. If the intent was a joke than the rest of the film must have a hair more comedy. If there’s one thing that films of this genre type seem to find absolutely essential it is the that the actors are believable, at least pleasant to watch and if not pleasant to watch live, hilarious to watch die. I think our protagonists clearly fit that description and allow the viewer to wait for the punchline later in the film.  I believe the finest moment in the film is either the sex scene turned Tarantula encounter at which I actually maintained the heebie jeebies for a minute or two which displays a nice juxtaposition of intimacy vs. terror and avoids the gratuitous jump scare.  This scene may only be  trumped by our leading lady running through the desert in the middle of the night, terrified out of her mind in nothing but underwear and Ugg style boots. I’m not sure that image has ever been as successfully captured as it was in Cold Creepy Feeling. There’s a certain fish-out-of-water quality the actors convey effectively and that carries into the scare sequences which might have fallen flat had it not been for their abilities.

If you’re looking for special effect filled romp than Cold Creep Feeling is not for you. The film uses the found footage style camera work to compensate for lack of special effects and tries to mask some scares with the distortion that might be present in a film of that type i.e. camera movement to hide the scare and night vision to hide the ghost. The entire film suffers from minor technical difficulties in camera placement, focus and audio levels. While these drawbacks do not detract from the picture entirely you become aware of them at key moments and the suspension of disbelief is lost. If the audience can push past this then they’ll enjoy the scare. I would also question some of the selections used in the film score as not as Western as they should be although the creep out sequences seem to have appropriate music.  What I enjoy about Cold Creepy Feeling is that it realizes that it is a film on a budget and tries to play to the directors and actors strengths as well as using some creepy desert scene-scapes to set the mood.

Follow Cold Creepy Feeling here (available on DVD):

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Cold-Creepy-Feeling/131732243522234

http://www.coldcreepyfeeling.com/

Written by Jimmy Terror  who can be found at Dr. Terror’s Blog of Horrors

Here’s a movie to keep your eyes out for and it’s from one of our own. Mike Dobrzelecki, writer for The Blood Sprayer and independent filmmaker. He’s putting together something you’re sure to find up your retro alleys (synopsis below). Take a gander at the trailer and show some support for big gore films! Wouldn’t it be nice to walk into a film festival and be able to yell out the name Develkok? Yeah, we think so too.

The film is a love letter to 70’s and 80’s exploitation films from filmmaker Mike Dobrzelecki. It celebrates big gore and a cast of the most outlandish gangs this side of The Warriors.

The film is currently in production with a release set for this summer. The film is still raising funds and more info can be found on their Facebook page and production blog.

Synopsis:

His name is Terry Develkok. He’s here to defeat the cities wicked. And He’s here to get the girl.

Terry Develkok is a broken man. Shit job, shit town, and shit life have pushed him to his breaking point. Terry wants to take his own life.

But when his attempts at suicide fail (many times) Terry Develkok discovers that he cannot die. He harnesses his new found power and takes to the streets in an effort to rid his city of the wickedness that is plaguing it.

When none can defeat him separately, gangs from around the globe band together to kill Develkok once and for all. Religious Zealots, Gangstas, White Supremacists and Circus Freaks are just some of the horrors that Terry must defeat in Die, Develkok, Die!

Follow and Support the film at:

Their production blog: deathtodevelkok.tumblr.com

Their Facebook Page: www.facebook.com/develkok

Twitter: @develkok

Youtube/Vimeo: develkok

E-mail:develkok@yahoo.com

My dear, sweet state of Ohio has offered some cool shit to the world.  Don’t believe me, eh?  Well, how’s this for a list:  Devo, Ballreich’s Potato Chips, The Dead Boys, Buckeye Beer, James Van Bebber, Buckeyes (not the tree-the delicious chocolate treat you eat at holiday events!), Jeffrey Dahmer…okay, scratch the last one.  You get the point, though.  Ohio is home to some kick ass stuff (not to mention, it’s the home of many TBS writers).  Our old buddy Andrew Copp is another cool thing to add to that list.

Dayton-based writer/director/actor/producer/renaissance man Andrew Copp has been churning hardcore indie flicks for…well, forever.  Having his hand in so many pots, Copp is the prime example of what the fierce independent spirit looks like in the horror community.  He would be considered a template as to HOW to do it.  Along with folks like Mike Watt, Amy Lynn Best, Chris Seaver, Fred Vogel, Henrique Couto, and Chris LaMartina, he’s been a consistent fixture within said community that keeps me coming back to the low budget circuit.  Known for several beloved cult films (including critically adored “The Mutilation Man”), Copp’s latest project is a clear indication that he doesn’t intend to stop anytime soon.

Church Of The Eyes (slated for a summer/fall completion time) is the next chapter in his saga of potent, aggressive films that always intend for a jugular shot.  Featuring an all-star cast and crew, Church Of The Eyes promises to deliver on the edgy style that Andy’s so well known for.  The Blood Sprayer reached out to Mr. Copp to give us the scoop on what we’re to expect from his latest project. He delivers the raw n’ heavy in his own words:

CHURCH OF THE EYES is another very experimental film in the same vein as my earlier movies THE MUTILATION MAN and BLACK SUN. In fact, this can almost be seen as a third entry in a loose trilogy in some ways. It is about a man who loses the love of his life in a car crash. In the ensuing depression, he sets out on a metaphysical journey to find, and kill, God. So, it is a film about love and loss filtered through the violent and broken imagery of the panic movement that I love so much.

The movie started as a music video project with one man band “Swineburner” aka musician Kevin Jones (based out of Indiana). But as we wove the material together it became a longer, more serious work. It is still primarily built around his music with almost no dialogue, but has now grown to include other music from The Beasting, 156, and some other drone/noise musicians.

The film stars myself in the lead role, Stephanie Michael in the lead female role, Henrique Couto as Jesus, and Tank Thompson as God. Mike Watt and Amy Lynn Best both make cameos, as well as Nikki Verba Sweigart, Jillian Zurawski, Matt & Bryan Brassfield, and Odette Despairr take up important supporting roles.

We have been shooting the film for a year and a half now, using the Canon 7D with Henrique Couto handling the DP duties and Mike King doing second unit DP. This is the first movie I have done that is being shot in full HD and is a new and exciting experience. The footage coming back looks amazing- the best of anything I have ever been involved with, and certainly the most controversial. With any luck, the film will be done shooting in the spring with a summer/fall finish date.

If you’re anything like me (and I know you are-that’s why we’re here!), your itching to see this one in its completed state.  As stated, the film is still in production, BUT you can be assured that when the film starts making the rounds,  you’ll be able to find out all about it here at The Blood Sprayer.  In the meantime, take a look at the teaser trailer below.  For further info involving production on Church Of The Eyes and Copp’s other works, visit www.coppfilms.weebly.com…Enjoy the trailer!

Last we met with illustrator/graphic designer Justin Erickson (read the interview) he and his co-conspirer, Paige Reynolds, had just launched Phantom City Creative. Since then, the duo have rocked out a buttload of horror-inspired art posters for the likes of TwitchFilm, Mondo Tees, Anchor Bay Entertainment and more. Beyond that, Erickson himself has recently stepped into the role of Art Director for Rue Morgue Magazine, a role previously held by Gary “Ghoulish” Pullin for the past 10+ years.

Luckily, Erickson was cool enough to spare a few moments from behind the desk of his new position to give us a feel for what he has in store for the mag this year and how he definitely plans on keeping the illustrative legacy left behind by Pullin intact. His first issue is due out in March.

Thanks for joining us again, Justin. How have things been going over at Phantom City Creative?

Thanks for having me, Rondal! Well, we’ve gotten a lot busier and have worked (and continue to) with some really great people. We’ve been steadily working with more filmmakers to create art for their films, also we’re working with the team behind horror comedy TV show Todd & The Book of Pure Evil on some materials, and more!

Over the course of 2011 you did several collaborations with Mondo Tees/Alamo Drafthouse. How did your relationship with them originate?

While we were doing the Back to the 80s series with Twitchfilm.com, they reached out and wanted to know if I was interested in creating a poster for them (I of course said yes). It’s been a great relationship so far and I hope it continues to be!

More recently, it was announced that you would be stepping in as the new Art Director of Rue Morgue magazine. What did you perceive as the biggest challenge coming in behind Gary Pullin?

The biggest challenge? To maintain the level of graphic quality that Gary built over his tenure at the magazine. [Being] Art Director is no easy-breezy job and he built the look and feel of the mag up over the years with blood, sweat, and more blood. So without compromising the established quality of the magazine, how do I put my own spin on it?

I’ve always joked that I’m an illustrator pretending to be a graphic designer, so the illustrative aspects of the magazine aren’t going anywhere. For me, the two go hand in hand.

In your opinion, where can fans expect the magazine to go from here?

In my opinion the magazine can only get better. It will still take an investigative look at the genre and cover wherever horror might rear its head be it film, art, literature, games and some places you might not expect.

[My favorite part of the magazine] are the features for two reasons: first, as a designer it gives me something to play with conceptually. The approach you take with say a gory zombie film can’t be the same approach you take with a thoughtful slow-burn ghost novel, so it’s fun to use different tools and moods to build up an article’s design around the subject matter. Second, as horror fan because of the variety of material covered. The magazine really takes its title “Horror in Culture & Entertainment” very seriously. You can go from the newest horror flick in theatres, to a look at an underrated author, to a museum that houses death masks in the same issue. It all falls under the banner.

Are there any magazines, in particular, that inspire you?

I try not to take all of my inspiration from other magazines because Rue Morgue would start looking like them, but the magazines I read regularly are Revolver, Royal Flush, HOW, Print, Empire, Juxtapoz and the odd random mag if they cover something I’m interested in.

In our previous interview you told our readers to “Define your goals… And don’t forget to have FUN!” Are you still having fun?

Of course! I’ve been incredibly lucky to land where I am and work with the people that I’m fortunate enough to work with. Like with anything there are good days and bad; you can’t forget your goals and what makes you really happy.

So you’re finally done putting away the Christmas decorations and the hangover from New Year’s Eve has long faded. Now what do you have to look forward to? Well until it’s time to stock up for the Trick ‘r Treaters here’s a slew of upcoming films to watch out for if you’re a fan of weird things that bleed and go bump in the night. It’s just a handful of goodies to whet your appetite as I’m sure there are plenty more on the cinematic menu of 2012.

Let’s dig in, shall we?

Father’s Day

Oh those fine folks over at Troma bring another party jam to the dance floor with their latest opus. Filled with blood and boobs and enough questionable merit to ostracize you from future family functions, you know you can’t wait for it to hit your hometown like a bad tornado.

Check out http://www.thefathersdaymovie.com/ for upcoming screenings and further details.

 The Raid

This Indonesian onslaught of ultra-violence  is martial arts action to the Nth degree. Bloody, gritty, and literally take no prisoners,  this bone-cruncher is set to hit stateside this coming March.

Inbred

From across the pond comes a new tale of terror. Put that on the box art, suckers. When a group of young law-breakers and their custodians clash with “colorful” locals, it turns into a bloodbath for all involved. This is why I mostly stay indoors.

Check out the film’s official website for further details - http://www.inbredmovie.com/

Prometheus

Ridley Scott is back in outer space. Big budget and over the top, sure, but this thing sells itself like margaritas in the Sahara. ‘Nuff said.

Chronicle

Written by Max Landis (son of John Landis) this feature film about a group of friends centers around their new telekinesis  - that’s mind bullets, Kyle. How they get their powers and what happens when they start to abuse them is why you’re gonna go buy a ticket.

Black Forest: Hansel & Gretel and the 420 Witch

Official Synopsis: Siblings, Hansel (Michael Welch) and Gretel (Molly Quinn), battle a witch (Lara Flynn Boyle) who lures teenagers into her suburban home with her special blend of marijuana, before she kills and eats them to maintain her youth and beauty.

So it’s basically witches and weed, but with Molly Quinn, Michael Welch, Lara Flynn Boyle, and Cary Elwes. You’re not stoned, you read that right.

Be sure to check out the film’s official website for more upcoming details - http://www.hg420movie.com/

The Lords of Salem

Rumored to have no CGI, hopefully this film will reunite the polarized masses of Rob Zombie fans. It’s got evil witches, Sid Haig, and plenty of religious goody two-shoes that will hopefully meet the business end of a pitchfork and end their day at the bottom of a cauldron. I for one am holding out hope, because it’s something to look forward to, and we all need that in life. Seriously, come off it. There’s not a funeral every time you smell flowers.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3D

Directed by John Luessenhop, this Leatherface reboot puts the Captains of the SAW franchise at the helm over their Platinum Dunes counterparts. Coming at you October 5th, this next installment stars Bill Moseley, Gunnar Hansen, with a rumored cameo by Tobe Hooper. No news on if Moseley will reprise his iconic Chop-Top role. Love it or hate it, it’s still coming your way. Like the song goes, “If you can’t be with the one you love, honey, love the one you’re with.”

Red Lights

So Travis Bickle stars opposite Ellen Ripley (Bobby D. and The Dream Weaver, respectively) in a film about paranormal fraud investigators and the world’s most powerful psychic. I consider this to be Hawaiian Pizza Cinema; if it’s done right, it could be mighty tasty. If it’s done wrong then who the hell puts fruit on pizza?! I WANT NAMES!!

Cassadaga

Ghosts and vengeful spirits in supposedly one of the most psychically charged places in America garner a raised eyebrow from me. Throw in a serial killer by the name of Gepetto who turns his victims into marionettes, some killer poster art, and I say “muy interesante”. That’s Spanish for “Don’t look at me when I’m diggin’ through the Discount DVD Bin”.

Game of Werewolves

A Spanish Horror-Comedy with Werewolves? Even without subtitles, how can you not dig on this? Seriously, give it a go, order up some authentic Horror rather than that Hollywood tie-in with Taco Bell crap that you know will blow out the O-ring of your attention span.

Detention of the Dead

THE BREAKFAST CLUB meets SHAUN OF THE DEAD? They couldn’t think of a better way to sell this? Anyway, this is just the type of flick you’ll force your kid sister to watch one beer addled weekend when everyone else is too busy to hang out. Maybe you need better taste in movies or a hotter sister, your call.

Learn more from the film’s official website - http://detentionofthedead.com .

I hope you find something of interest, something to tickle your fancy. This restraining order prohibits me from tickling your fancy any further.

You know what Scott Spiegel? I love Evil Dead II! It’s my favorite in the series. And while we’re talking about your previous endeavors let me just say that I thought Intruder was hilarious. I’m not sure I’d give it the super duper rub down treatment that some folks bestow upon it, but it’s good. Real good. Hostel III… well I think it’s a step in the right direction despite having a couple minor flaws. Let’s discuss.

 Synopsis (from the IMDB… which makes me lazy):

While attending a bachelor party inLas Vegas, four friends are enticed by two sexy escorts to join them at a private party way off the Strip. Once there, they are horrified to find themselves the subjects of a perverse game of torture, where members of the Elite Hunting Club are hosting the most sadistic show in town.

Well that’s a step away from the original ain’t it? No more youth hostel in Eastern Europeto visit. The ridiculous torture porn esque kills happen in your own backyard or inAmerica’s adult playground at least. It works. Where else on Earth would you imagine the depraved, alpha dog group of Elite Hunters to show up. Vegas would be my guess. Maybe New Orleansif we needed a second place answer. I’d also go for Alaska because who knows what the fuck happens inAlaskaduring the winter.

As you’ve most likely heard and I would at least partly agree with, this movie is like the Hangover Jr. I’m not entirely sure that there’s intent to capture that movie’s fire anymore than it is the design of the Spiegel to capture the essence of the first two films. A bachelor party is an excellent jumping off point and gives way to the debauched in the only way our American, Puritanical culture allows. I don’t fault this film for taking a common reason for traveling to Vegas and turning the whole thing TP. At least they didn’t have shotty cameos of the actors from The Hangover or scene for scene rip offs. Once you’ve put our four horsemen in Vegas under the bachelor party banner and digs in you lose the “three best friends” vibe right quick.

Previous installments have seen some fairly talented actors go up against the Elite Hunting Club both in acting ability and body sculpting. While I’ll say that Kip Pardue, Brian Hallisay and John Hensley due not live up to their predecessors acting ability, they aren’t a step off the deep end either. This film is less dark than the previous entries, Vegas more fun, and as I’ll mention shortly, the gore has been toned down. Why make this film feel a little more fun. A little more, Vegas. You never expect Oscar nominated performances from this brand of film anyway. At least it isn’t a Saved By the Bell class reunion.

Watching a Hostel film or any other T.P. (that’s the torture porn… and I love that label if for completely differing reasons that the media and critiques love to use it) film means that you expect something. From the Hostel series it means you expect someone to be placed into a room, worked over with extreme gory prejudice usually preempted by gratuitous female nudity and then ending with the near triumph of the protagonist. Hostel III delivers this formula with its fun Vegas/game twist. It’s enough of a deviation from the original film and sequel to warrant having been made, and it takes the series in a new direction. The term “hostel” may be abused slightly, but since the Elite Hunting Club has become a name brand killer not unlike Fred Kruger, Voorhees or Jigsaw we can let the name slide.

The question on everyone’s mind is did Hostel III deliver the gross out of the previous two entries? No. It was tame in comparison. The suspense leading up to the kills was lacking and someone forgot to eat their brain food. The creativity was lacking. The gore was amateurish with moments of playfulness. You could blame that on the fact that it’s the third installment in the series and can lack on the novelty, but that’s a cop out. Expect more from your gore folks! I’d like to see a Hostel IV with a new twist and more of a face given to the hierarchy for the EHC, but filmmakers take note… you must, you must, you must increase you guts!

Side note(S):

-Nice variation on the Elite Hunting Club tattoo.

-I adore the Elite Hunting cocktail waitress uniform. It’s ever so Night Porter.

-Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches aren’t scary. I touched one. That’s how I know. No more Mummy rip off effects, okay guys?

It’s not my favorite installment in the series, but it moves the series forward. You might find a few former Hostel haters find this film more easily accessible. The series definitely needs fans to keep it moving. We got friggin’ seven Saw movies and only three Hostels? We need to get a few more on the books. Eli Roth did such a nice job the least we can do is try to honor his intriguing creation. Hell, get Roth back in for a Final Chapter if it puts the asses in the seats. Hostel vs. Saw? There’s a crossover to consider.  Until next time, happy elite hunting.

Written by Jimmy Terror  who can be found at Dr. Terror’s Blog of Horrors

The Exterminator has been released on Blu Ray/DVD combo. I’m not sure you call this one a horror picture though. I think you call this one an action packed, thriller/revenge film. A little bit higher brow than exploitation.  I think you might also consider calling it historical fiction. James Glickenhaus probably didn’t set out to paint a portrait of the life and times of your average girl on the fringe or working man just trying to get by, but you might as well call him the Norman Rockwell of the underground.

Those of us born at a certain time only know New York Cityand Times Square as a squeaky cleanMeccaof commerce, media fanfare and designated walking areas. I would say this would make us late. Late for what? Late for the seedy underbelly that gave films of the early 80’s and late 70’s a truly creepy look. We are late for smut and rampant prostitution. We are late for crime waves, black outs, looting, rioting, depravity. We’re late to the shit show. We’re late to a time when films like The Exterminator were not simply action/revenge films. They were tales of the modern day Superman with a shotgun.

Synopsis (napsis):

The Exterminator, James Glickenhaus’ explosive story of Vietnam vet John Eastland (Ginty), a man who launches a bloody vendetta against the New York underworld when his best friend is brutally beaten by a vicious street gang. Eastland becomes a vigilante hero to the public, but to police The Exterminator is a psychopath capable of dangerously undermining an entire government administration.

 My sincerest hope is that after watching this movie you go out and fight some local crime. I would imagine that this is how Batman really happened (you know… in the really real world). We have a vigilante who knows how to make kills fun. There’s nothing like a metal shredder to make a man speak his mind. There’s nothing like lighting people on fire out of anger. Beyond the violence it’s a heartwarming tale of friendship. What would you do for your best friend? A man who saved your life? Would you revise your moral code? Would you kill!?

The Exterminator gave me that Taxi Driver thrill. You can feel little pieces of underdone Scorsese in every seedy morsel. That being said, the Blu Ray and DVD transfers are superb. Crystalclear, hi definition and captivating audio. I literally got chills from some of the audio tweaks. One thing that I despise about transfers like these is that you lose some of that warmth. The same type of warmth a record collector understands but the CD aficionado never can. To someone who had never seen the film, but is familiar with the trailer and quality of the initial footage, this was a let down. There’s not much you can do about that though save going out and finding a film screening.

For all the hype about this coming out on Blu Ray/DVD combo the least that Synapse could have done was to put a few extra special features. A couple trailers and TV spots does not a full on release make. It should not deter you from picking this up but you can consider this my complaint, full lodged. I’m not going to lie though. TV spots and movie trailers with that deep, raunchy, gritty voice over make me pose in the mirror pretending to be the vigilante for hours.

 Take time out of your day to revisit this classic glimpse at New York. Hell, buy a soldering gun and dip it in some Vaseline if it makes you feel frisky. Just remember: No spitting on the floors.

Written by Jimmy Terror  who can be found at Dr. Terror’s Blog of Horrors

Dearest Readers of The Blood Sprayer:

I’m coming to you pretty well humbled.  I haven’t been completely “here” lately and your loyalty has suffered the wrath.  I feel terrible for the amount of neglect that has gone on pertaining to the website, and more importantly, that you have probably been disappointed.  Some things have occurred  that I want to fill you in on.  Not as excuses, but as an explanation.

I obviously don’t live off of this website.  Hell, I don’t make a dime off of it period.  It’s more of a “break even” sort of thing.  So, naturally I work a day job…and I work a lot.  In fact, I’ve worked so much over the last few months, that I didn’t notice that some things on this website were majorly malfunctioning.

As a lot of you may have noticed, or knew personally, The Blood Sprayer has had a lot of writers who have come and gone.  Some spoke of being interested then never contributed a single article.  Others not only joined the site, but contributed some of the most compelling articles to be featured in this website’s brief history.  At some point over the past few months, some technical errors occurred within the inner workings of this website.  As a result, several of the accounts of individuals who’ve written for this site were either deleted or messed up in some way.  This resulted in articles being accredited to other writers, namely myself and few others.  The odd part about it?  No one deleted these accounts manually and to further complicate this, the articles attributed to me are not at all my account on this site.  If you look at certain articles that are attributed to “Wes Allen”, you’ll notice that there’s not avatar photo.  There’s a reason for that-it’s not a real account on this site.  Yes, that is my name, but my account is NOT my full name.  It’s only under the name “Wes”.  I’m not going to fool you into thinking that I have ANY clue as to how these things have happened.  I wouldn’t have known of this error were it not for the fact that a former staff member, and one of the reasons this site has even had such brilliant writers, Kristy Jett pointed this out to me.  When this was all brought to my attention, I was in the midst of a very heavy work time.  Plus, it was right around Christmas and I was simply unable to dig into the issue very hard.  When I did finally get the opportunity to dig into the malfunctions, it seemed as if it would be an easy fix…this was not the case at all.  Since then, I’ve been teaming with my human computer and we’re trying to get this issue solved.  In doing so, the end result will be that the writers who actually wrote these articles will be accredited with their work, rightfully so.

While I know that you as the reader aren’t personally affected by this, I am.  My negligence to this website has not only resulted in these technical errors taking place, it has resulted in people that I respect being hurt.  Every person that writes or has written for this website is doing so pro-bono.  There isn’t money to be made in writing these articles that they write for us, but they do so anyway.  It’s obviously a love/passion-driven thing and we the audience reap all the benefits of their labor.  This “glitch” has taken credit away from some hard work carried out by some excellent writers.  No, I didn’t cause these errors personally, but my lack of attention to The Blood Sprayer’s guts caused people to be hurt.  I screwed up.  I should have spotted this stuff immediately.  It most likely has damaged my friendships with these people and could very well result in them losing all respect for me.  While I don’t go through life aiming to please people, I certainly haven’t set out to deliberately hurt/disappoint them either.  So, with all of that in mind, I want to take the time to apologize to some of those folks.  It doesn’t fix what has happened and doesn’t change what the website is currently accrediting some of its articles to.  It does let me give them this bit of credit while we’re trying to reverse the errors that occurred and give the credit BACK to the actual writers of those articles.

The first few folks I want mention are Shawn Savage, Jeff Konopka, and Ted Brown.  Not only are these guys great writers, they are passionate dudes.  Shawn and Ted run the well known horror site, The Liberal Dead (www.liberaldead.com) and were nice enough to offer their services to us for a time.  Jeff Konopka had his own blog and did our podcast, which he’s since taken over to The Liberal Dead as he’s joined their team full time.  The time and knowledge these fellas contributed is invaluable to me.  They’re all talented guys and I hold The Liberal Dead site in the highest regard.  I’m truly sorry to you guys for this mix up.

The next few people are Hannah Neurotica, Jayson Kennedy, and Brian Solomon.  Brian Solomon left the site quite a while ago, but I’m certain a lot of you are familiar with his work in other places.  He’s written for everyone from WWE magazine to his own site www.thevaultofhorror.net.  While he hasn’t been around for some time, it doesn’t make his contributions any less credible.  The same would go for Jayson Kennedy, who’s work at www.ghoulbasement.com and horrortalk.com is already familiar to you.  Not to mention his knowledge of genre film and home video technology is goddamned staggering.  I’ve literally NEVER encountered an individual who’s as well-versed in those areas as he is.  He wrote some fascinating articles on the subject.  Hannah Neurotica probably doesn’t need an introduction.  I don’t have enough space to list all the things she does for not only horror, but for gender equality within the genre.  She’s one of brains behind Women In Horror Recognition Month and of course, Ax Wound Magazine.  I offer my sincerest apologies to these individuals as well while we work this mess out.

Finally, I need to apologize to Kristy Jett.  Kristy and I have had a complex relationship throughout the history of The Blood Sprayer.  We haven’t always agreed on one another’s methods but it doesn’t change the fact that I respect Kristy for her sheer tenacity.  I don’t have to agree with how an individual handles everything to plainly see that their passion and conviction make them an incredible individual.  We’re it not for Kristy’s involvement with The Blood Sprayer, I literally wouldn’t know 90% of the people that have passed through this site.  When I started up The Blood Sprayer, I didn’t know where to start other than I thought it would be cool to have a site rapping about the type of horror and exploitation films I dug.  I have to be completely honest:  Not only did I not know of any of these horror blogs that were out there, I didn’t even read blogs!  I still don’t!  I only read a few blogs pertaining to my beloved Baltimore Orioles.  Kristy opened my eyes to a world of mercenary writers who’s passion drove their writing efforts-not a paycheck.  Were it not for her, I wouldn’t know these beautiful people existed.

Kristy also contributed to some of the most popular articles in this site’s existence.  She was the person tearing the roof off of the Camp Blood fiasco, as well as, the brains (and more importantly, HEART) behind Dan O’ Bannon Week.  She was an invaluable asset to what this site became.  Without her, I could not have gotten off the ground.  I’ve never truly given her the credit she was long due for her part in this site, but I can tell you this with all certainty:  Kristy Jett’s undying love for horror was poured into her contributions to this site and that’s a major factor to its success (however one may define that word).  That undying love is her motivating  factor.  She works at Fright Rags, she’s why Popcorn is getting a long overdue DVD/Blu-Ray release, and she writes for numerous horror sites and publications.  This woman is a lifer!  Horror is ingrained into the fiber of her being and that passion shines through in everything she does.  Like I stated earlier, I may not always agree with her methods in doing things, but make no mistake about it:  She’s a hard working, driven, individual who’s success has been earned.  No one’s handed anything to her…she went out and made it happen.  That’s why I’m making this apology to her as well.  Kristy helped me do things that I couldn’t have done for myself at the time.  If I’ve never said it to her, I’ll say it right now:  Kristy Jett, I’m envious of your drive.  You helped me without ever needing to and I didn’t ever thank you properly for that.  In the same breath, I want to apologize also, about the issues going on internally.  This doesn’t do enough, but it’s my way of apologizing while we fix these problems.

Now onto you, the reader.  Look guys-I’m human.  I admit that I often bite off more than I can chew, and instead of owning up to the fact that I may need some help, I just say “fuck it”.  That’s not an answer to any problem.  I wanted to start this site because I love horror and exploitation film.  It was an escape growing up and is a love affair now.  I hoped that people would check it out and enjoy it.  You’ve done that tenfold.  I get some rad emails from regular readers giving suggestions of things they’d love to see us cover.  Each time they make a point to say how much they love The Blood Sprayer.  I can’t even BEGIN to tell you how much that means to me!  The horror community is a fascinating and weird one, but it’s also a loving one.  You will go unjudged here.  Not many sectors of geek culture can claim that openness.  I won’t tell you guys that I’m never going to fuck up  again.  I can’t.  It’s an unreasonable commitment to make.  But I can tell you that I’m going to do everything in my power to get this site back to the standard I held for myself from day one.  It was a passion project from the start and I intend on it getting back there.  Who knows?  By the end of this, everyone else may say “The hell with this guy! I’m outta here” and leave the site.  Maybe I’ll be the only one left.  If that is the case, I’ll do everything in my power to give you  guys the best I can.  There are still several incredible writers contributing (Zach Shildwachter, Bill Adcock, Jimmy Terror, Matt Pocock, Mahlon Orrin, Brittney-Jade Colangelo, and Mike Dobrzelecki to name a few!) and everyday I feel blessed to be in their presence.  They have an insane amount of knowledge that I could never dream of having, as well as talent to spare.  In short, they’re all brilliant.  But then again, so is every writer that’s ever bothered to write for us.  I’m a blessed human being to have been given the opportunity to work amongst these folks.  It’s an embarrassment for me to have had this technical bullshit go down, but it’s also been an awesome chance to acknowledge some of the excellence this site has had the privilege of knowing.

I want to wrap this up, but I want to finish by saying this:  Thank you.  Thank you to everyone who’s ever visited The Blood Sprayer, who’s ever commented on an article, taken part in a contest, emailed me to say “hey” or “fuck you”…Thank you.  You don’t know us personally, yet you support what we do.  That’s an overwhelmingly beautiful thing.  I’m sorry I (personally) have not given you the quality you deserve.  It’s unfair to you as you are the people who keep this site vital.  At the day’s end, I’m in the same boat as all of you.  I’m working to provide for my family (gladly too!) and do this as an expression of my love for horror films.  That’s all that it’s really about.  I love horror and exploitation, just like all of you.   I could have done irreparable damage to my own credibility (then again, I probably don’t have any credibility! HA!) already and may have put the death nail in my coffin with this, but it needed to be said.  Everyone ever involved in this site kicks ass and I’m sorry for dropping the ball on many occasions with you all.  You’re incredible people who I owe a giant debt of gratitude to.  Thank you for your work, and to the readers-thank you for loyalty. I’m aiming to give you the best I can with (hopefully) fewer mistakes from now on.  It’s not always going to be material talking about the latest, hottest thing but it will be honest and passionate.  That’s something we can guarantee you at The Blood Sprayer.  I hope all of you can forgive me over time for the errors I’ve committed and know that I want to give you the best I can, since I already KNOW that the other folks who contribute to this site DO give you their best.  Once again, I apologize for the mishaps, to those they’ve affected and to the readers-thank you for your continued support.  If you trust that I will make improvements on my end, then I guarantee that I will continue to unintelligibly   rant about the greatness of Lucio Fulci.

My sincerest regards,

Wes

Tired of crappy reality shows and dancing high school students? Craving some of the warm fuzzy feelings you got every Wednesday night when American Horror Story was on? Then get ready for three new shows and one returning show hoping to fill our winters with a little fright.

First up is the American debut of British series The Fades. The Fades are ghost-like creatures that did not ascend into heaven after dying.  After time, some of them have become vengeful towards humans.  There are also a select few humans called Angelic’s who can see the fades, and are trying to stop them from destroying the human race.  The series follows Paul, a high school student who is learning that he can see the fades, and in turn is thrown into the middle of the battle. I’ve seen the first episode and I found it to be a  well made program with some decent effects and a nice dash of humor mixed in.  The Fades premiered Saturday night on BBC America, but the pilot episode is replaying throughout the week before new episodes air every Saturday night.  Like most British shows it’s short and sweet (only six episodes) so catch it while you can.

Tonight on the Syfy Channel is “Powerful Mondays” starting off at 9pm with the season two debut of Being Human.  Being Human follows a werewolf, vampire, and a ghost who all live together and try to help each other try to deal with there impulses and live a normal life.  Honestly I am not very familiar with this show, and am only catching a season one marathon today to give it a fair shot, but what I’ve seen so far isn’t too bad (though a bit soap opera-ish at times).

Immediately following Being Human is the American debut of the Canadian series Lost Girl.  Lost Girl is about a young girl named Bo who grew up in an adopted human family only to find out after accidentally killing her boyfriend that she is a succubus.  After finding this out, she leaves to live life out on her own, only to find out that there is a war going on between the forces of light and dark, and she needs to pick a side.  Lost Girl has already aired for two seasons in Canada, and Syfy has the rights to all episodes so this one may be around for a little while.  Catch the premiere tonight at 10pm.

Finally, ABC is mere weeks away from premiering The River from Oren Peli (Paranormal Activity).  The River is about a group of people who venture to the Amazon in search of a missing explorer (sounds a lot like Cannibal Holocaust).  The River is set to air for eight episodes starting with the premiere Tuesday February 7th at 9pm.

Along with these new programs we have the return of The Walking Dead on February 12th along with continuing new episodes of Grimm, Fringe, Supernatural, and The Vampire Diaries to give us a plethora of horror options.  On the nonfiction side of the horror genre the Syfy Channel has their Wednesday night doubleheader of new episodes of Ghost Hunters (the paranormal favorite) and Face Off (the make up effects competition).  It’s a good time to cuddle up on the couch, dim the lights, and hope to get scared!

I grew up in an age of Mom & Pop Video Shops. I witnessed the battle between VHS and Beta. I’ve cried over the loss of drive-in movie theaters. I remember the fledgling first steps of HBO. I saw the rise and fall of the Laser Disc. The sound of a dial-up modem makes me cringe as hard as the first time I heard it. I have scoffed at those that said Netflix was a “fad”.  And now I live in an age where kids don’t have to wake up at 5am on Saturday morning for their cartoons – they have a whole of them 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Anyone with an Internet connection can jump a bit torrent and download more movies than I’ve ever seen. Now factor in that there’s really no age limit. Gone are the boundaries set by parents and the MPAA. The Video Nasties are only a click away, and so is hardcore … whatever.

In an age of ever changing technology it is the youth that will embrace it the quickest and learn to manipulate it the quickest as well. They’re not curing cancer or launching rockets, they’re going after entertainment. So I pose this question to parents and adults: How much is too much? Blood, sex, gore, violence. These are the things you see more and more in just the news, let alone on the silver screen. Realistically there is no way to put a lid on the access to content with today’s youth. It can be policed and regulated to various degrees, but they’re younger, faster, smarter, and they get bored quicker too. So I suggest we try one thing we as a society should have done far earlier; listen.

I would like to introduce my nephew Seth. He is going to be 13 in 2012. He likes anime, pizza, and reading. I asked him to give his opinion on the films he sees and to develop his own voice through writing while improving those same writing skills. I try to be as positive as an influence as I can be for my nephew, a role model even. I try to introduce him to classic cinema as well as low brow genre film fare. I try to look after him with care, but sometimes you gotta (insert bumper sticker slogan about raising children here).

I hope Seth’s work will offer a look into a small fraction of today’s America and entertainment. I hope he has fun sharing. I hope you enjoy it.

- Zach S.

 So, my first review is on the Japanese flick Meatball Machine.  It was kind of weird and it had its moments that made me go “what-the-f***-is-going-on”. I don’t know Japanese and now I’m reading sub-titles for 90 minutes. Much of this film reminded of other home-made horror like Cloverfield, The Blair Witch Project, and the Paranormal Activity Trilogy. It’s the grittiness and feel of a hand-held camera that seem to try and suck in the audience.

     The directors Yudai Yamaguchi and Jun`ichi Yamamoto did a very good job directing. The actors did a very good job with the main characters. The story was one of those movies where you have to pay attention to like 2012 to know what is going on. The action sometimes gets in way of the story and the other way around too.

     The visual effects were so good. The parasites that turned the characters into machine things look like fleshy talking arrow heads. The weapons they turn the people into were so weird looking. The rubber body suits must be unbelievably uncomfortable; it must be irritating to hear your skin rub up against latex rubber.

                  The plot to Meatball Machine is these aliens come to our planet either from the depths of the oceans or falling from the sky and they need our bodies to fight each other. Factory worker Yogi (Issei Takahashi) goes on his lunch break and notices pretty Sachiko (Aboda Kawai) who he wants to talk to but his stuck up co-workers come and rain on his parade. Later that night Yogi encounters one of the aliens, hurt and laying lifeless. Not knowing what it is, he brings it home with him and puts it in the closet. The alien in the closet thanks to Captain Dumb @$$ attacks Sachiko and turns her into one of those badass machines. I’m just going to sum up the rest of this. (SPOILERS)  Yogi becomes a machine, well sorta half of one, and has a fight to the death with Sachiko. Yogi grows a big chest cannon and kills Sachiko and realizes he can’t be without the girl who he fell in love with who is also someone he just met.

                If you can get past its silliness and over the top moments of gore and transformation, Meatball Machine is actually pretty good. The directing, lighting, effects, visual effects, and acting, it’s actually a flick worth watching. So, on the official Seth movie/flick scale I give it a 7.5/10.  

Stay tuned for my next review coming soon.

Greetings, readers.  I don’t know about you, but I love 1980s-era cheesy Sword and Sorcery movies.  Hell, I love Sword and Sorcery as a genre in general — literature (Robert E. Howard’s Conan, Leiber’s Fafhrd and Grey Mouser, Moorcock’s Elric), art (Frazetta especially; Boris Vallejo never did that much for me), music (Domine, Manowar) and especially film.  I consider John Milius’ 1982 film CONAN THE BARBARIAN, starring Arnold Schwarzeneggar and James Earl Jones, to be one of the most perfect films ever made.  Perfectly written, beautifully shot, and the soundtrack by Basil Pouledouris gives me an erection.

In the wake of CONAN THE BARBARIAN’s success, a wide variety of lower budget films were made, featuring bare-chested musclemen, swords hammered out of car bumpers in Pakistan, and women will to dance around wearing nothing but a thin sheen of baby oil.  In short, these are some of the most fun movies out there.  For the purpose of this article, I’ll be looking at some of the creme de la creme of these films, the Argentian-filmed DEATHSTALKER franchise.

DEATHSTALKER (1983): Meet Deathstalker (Richard Hill), an amoral barbarian swordsman.  How amoral? Upon meeting a deposed king in the woods, Deathstalker eats the down-on-his-luck aristocrat’s dog.  The king wishes to hire Deathstalker to save his daughter, the Princess Codille, from the clutches of the evil wizard Lord Munkar.  But since the king has no gold, and won’t let Deathstalker take Codille’s virginity as payment, Deathstalker declines.

Unfortunately, Deathstalker is forced into a quest against Lord Munkar, sent out by a witch to seek the Three Powers of Creation — the Amulet, Chalice, and Sword.  Munkar has the Amulet and Chalice, and soon, Deathstalker has the Sword and some traveling companions, including the busty and bare-chested lady thief Kaira (Lana Clarkson).  Deathstalker enters a tournament Munkar is hosting, with the prize being Codille’s sweet, sweet honeypot.  Deathstalker comes out on top in the tourney after a brutal battle with a pig-man, but does he have what it takes to defeat Munkar?

Richard Hill is fun as Deathstalker, though his purpose is largely to look muscular and swing swords at people, then grab the naked girl and enjoy himself — pretty standard archetypal male power fantasy.  One of his opponents is played by Richard Brooker, who played Jason in FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 3, and Princess Codille is played by Barbi Benton, one-time girlfriend of Hugh Hefner.  Additionally, I think Lord Munkar may have played a bigger role in the creation of the modern evil wizard stereotype than either Thulsa Doom in CONAN or Saruman in THE LORD OF THE RINGS trilogy — he’s pasty-faced, bald, clad in dark robes and has a big facial tattoo and a goatee.

DEATHSTALKER II (1987): Deathstalker this time around is played by John Terlesky, while Jim Wynorski takes over the directorial seat.  I love Wynorski’s work, so this always bodes well for me.  The film opens on Deathstalker intervening to save a young woman, Reena the Seeress (Monique Gabrielle, Penthouse Pet and actress) from being gang-raped by guardsmen.  Reena turns out to be the recently-deposed Princess Evie, who asks Deathstalker to help her regain her throne from the evil wizard (Deathstalker: “Is there any other kind?”) Jarek and his assistant the Sultana.

The quest to Evie/Jarek’s castle takes them through encounters with bandits, zombies, and a nation of Amazon Warrior Women.  Captured by the last of these, Deathstalker is put on trial for his crimes against womanhood, forced to fight Gorgo the Champion (Dee “Queen Kong” Booher, a wrestling/roller derby sensation) for the right to survive.  Evie is recaptured by Jarek and sentenced to torture-with-lesbian-overtones by the Sultana.  The Amazons show up to help Deathstalker, who duels Jarek to the death.  Evie restored to the throne, a new alliance forged with the Amazons, Deathstalker is in for all the sweet, sweet Princess Evie-Lovin’ he can handle.

This is the pinnacle of the franchise as far as I’m concerned.  Wynorski has turned Deathstalker into a wise-cracking ass-kicker and cranked the Fun dial up to 11 with this film.  The gore and nudity is slightly reduced from the first film.  Another high point of the film is Monique Gabrielle, here given the opportunity to exercise her comedic talents as well as her buoyant pleasure zeppelins.  I wish she got more roles like this — she can pull faces that put Jim Carrey in his prime to shame.  “Deathstalker? Is that your first name, or your last name?”

DEATHSTALKER III: THE WARRIORS FROM HELL (1989): This time around, Deathstalker is played by John Allan Nelson.  We find him in a small village, giving fighting demonstrations for a few coins.  He’s been traveling from village to village doing this with his friend Nicias, a wizard whose life he’d saved.  Enter Princess Clarissa, who has a fist-sized jewel with magical ability.  She reveals that the gem is one of the Keys to Erendor, a city of magical treasure.  The other Keys are in the hands of the dread wizard Troxartes.  Soon Clarissa is dead, and intrigued by the idea of a city of treasure (and killing evil wizards),  Deathstalker is pursuing Troxartes for the Keys.  Troxartes’ response is the resurrect an unstoppable army of the dead — composed of the corpses of everyone Deathstalker has ever killed.

After DEATHSTALKER II, DEATHSTALKER III is a bit of a disappointment.  Gore is minimal, there’s barely any exposed breasts, and most distressingly, there is a complete lack of Pig-Man warriors.  The story is just kind of blah, it’s not as fun — I mean, don’t get me wrong, it is still fun, but after the ridiculous antics of DEATHSTALKER II, it just doesn’t feel like as much fun.  To top it all off, the “army of the dead” is just a bunch of guys smeared with some gray paint and dirt.  Blah.

DEATHSTALKER IV: MATCH OF TITANS (1990): Richard Hill returns to reprise the role of Deathstalker, in the only entry not filmed in Argentina, but rather, Bulgaria. We find Deathstalker using his trusty sword to protect a young woman whose caravan has been besieged and slaughtered by cat-people. The girl rescued, Deathstalker returns her to her village, where he was going anyways to find an old friend, Aldilar, who has Deathstalker’s Sword. Y’know, capital-S Sword. The magic one. Aldilar’s not there, and the girl’s father tells Deathstalker a tale. The area is under the control of an evil woman named Kana who has kidnapped all the strongest warriors for nefarious purposes. Adventuring a little further afield, Deathstalker runs into a band of warriors who are training for the honor to compete in a special tournament. The leader of these warriors is Vaniat, a surprisingly straight-edge barbarian who doesn’t drink, smoke, eat mutton, rape women, or even have consensual sex. So…how is he a barbarian, exactly?

The tournament is largely made of stock footage from the tournament in the first DEATHSTALKER, including a fantastic fight where a giant guy with a giant hammer smashes a little guy into slush. Where the original tournament was pretty strictly male (aside from the nude female mud wrestlers), this tournament is a little more co-ed, with women warriors fighting each other. Deathstalker gets suspicious, however, between Kana’s talk of wanting his “power” and the fact that some of the contestants are disappearing without a trace. Before too much investigation can be done, he’s pitted against Vaniat, which goes pretty much as one would expect, with Deathstalker defeating but sparing his opponent, all while ripping off a snippet of dialogue from THE PRINCESS BRIDE.

It is soon discovered that the wine that’s been flowing “like a waterfall” throughout the tourney to be poisoned, and Deathstalker finds a use for the straight-edge Vaniat, asking him to “seduce” Kana in order to find the antidote. Before he can manage that, however, Deathstalker makes two discoveries: One, that Kana has his Sword. Two, that the poisoned wine turns those it “kills” into living stone statues, stronger and tougher than mortal men. Kana is building an army for world conquest.

Basically a re-iteration of the original DEATHSTALKER, the stone men being little different from the undead of DEATHSTALKER III…this film, I think, is strictly for DEATHSTALKER completists.

***

And there you have it.  The DEATHSTALKER franchise, in a nutshell.

Sometimes the simplest approach to making a movie tends to be the best, especially when making low budget films. Rage is a perfect example of less being more, and in return you get a very entertaining thriller well worth your 90 minutes.

The plot for Rage is a basic setup.  Dennis Twist is a suburbanite who has something very important to do today, he has to break off an affair that he’s been hiding from his loving wife.  On the way to meet the other woman, Dennis has a confrontation over a parking space with a motorcyclist.  He shrugs it off as no big deal and finishes what he traveled into town to do.  After leaving his now ex crying in the park, Dennis once again notices the motorcyclist following him.  After stopping at a red light, the motorcyclist shows he’s not just slightly annoyed as he scratches Dennis’s car all up with a knife.  From there he continues to torture poor Dennis all over town until he can finally get back home, where the mysterious motorcyclist is once again waiting for him.

Rage definitely wasn’t an original story, but it is one that I always get roped into.  Duel (which is mentioned during Rage so was an obvious inspiration), The Car, The Hearse, and Jeepers Creepers to name a few other mysterious driver movies I tend to sit down and watch whenever I see them on.  There is something about being chased by an unknown person or vehicle that has always intrigued me, and Rage was no different.  On the plus side, Rage was done much better than some of the aformentioned films due to not overdoing it with a crazy twist or supernatural spin.

The other worry about a movie like this is that the protagonist has to carry the movie or else it will fall flat on its face.  Rick Crawford who played Dennis does a great job going from a cocky cheating husband to a frightened shell of a man as he is tormented throughout the movie.  The antagonist is a typical faceless killer with little to no known motivation, but that’s always been my favorite and what makes slasher movies so much fun to watch.

The only negative to Rage is the final act things go a tad to far.  I’m not saying the ending wasn’t satisfying as things get really violent and raw, but the killer shouldn’t have turned his attention away from Dennis as much as he did.  But it’s always nice to add a little body count to a horror movie so I can’t complain too much.

As far as I can tell this is only writer/director Christopher R. Witherspoon’s second film, but what a film it is!  I hope to see more from him in the future, and hopefully with better distribution and coverage.  Unfortunately I can find very little about this movie online, and am yet to see any distributor releasing the movie.  It would be a shame to not get this movie out for more people to see, because it’s a really fun flick!

RAGE from Christopher Witherspoon on Vimeo.

Rarely at the Blood Sprayer do I have the opportunity to review a movie with a Guinness World Record, but Joe Castro’s latest The Summer of Massacre holds just that distinction. He didn’t just go for any typical world record, but one us horror fanatics can get behind 100%, and that is “most onscreen kills!”  Massacre is an anthology film with five different chapters covering eight different killers, so lets break them down one at a time.

Chapter One:  Rampage   The first story is about a man named Chris who heads out for a late night jog, only to be jumped by a gang of thugs who leave him for dead on the side of the road.  He is found the next morning by  a woman who tries to help Chris, but all he see’s is red and he snaps and kills the woman.  From there Chris walks around town seeking revenge on anyone and everyone that he see’s until he finally finds the guilty party.  No plot and a crazy number of kills make this particular story a plethora of violence, however there is no substance to this chapter at all.

Chapter Two:  Lump  Lori (Nick Principe in a slightly different role than playing Chromeskull in the Laid to Rest movies) is a terminally ill hermaphrodite who is nearing the end of her tragic life.  Her beautiful and hateful sister wants to go out into the woods to party with some friends, but she is only allowed to go if she takes Lori and her mentally handicapped step brother.  So little sis comes up with a plan to help Lori “end her suffering”.  This is a much better chapter than Rampage due to the fact that we have real characters and story this time!  Unfortunately the acting is below par and the story that we are given is ridiculous, but it is still a more enjoyable chapter.

Chapter Three:  Son of the Boogieman  The next tale starts out with a man out on a date with a woman, who shares her affection for the man and wanting to spend the rest of her life with him. Unfortunately, he is afraid to get too serious as he has spent his entire life on the run from his abusive father.  He then shares that his mother was abducted and raped when she was 17, and she escaped after giving birth to him.  Of course this would be the perfect time for mother to call and warn him that father’s in town.  Once again at least an attempt to try and draw up a little plot and characterization, but running only about 11 or 12 minutes there isn’t quite enough time to work this story properly.

Chapter Four:  Burn   Next up is the lamest and morally corrupt church youth group I’ve ever seen having a bonfire.  They start to share a local ghost story about  two gay firemen who were burned to death by the rest of the fire squad.  Since then the two have hunted down and killed everyone who wronged them, and were now hunting down their kin.  Of course the group has to be related to the past members of the squad, and it is time for some burning revenge.

The cover artwork makes it sound like there are five chapters, but really in between the chapters you have police confessionals from three serial killers explaining why they do what they do.  After chapter four we get a brief scene where the three men have broken out and want to go out with a bang.

What can I say after watching Massacre?  I was excited to shut off my brain and enjoy the madness that was 155 on screen kills, but forgive me for wanting a little substance with my mass killings.  All of the characters and plot were so shallow and simple that even with all the bloodshed the film was extremely boring.

On the plus side the make up effects that Castro uses in the film were all done quite well (looks like he has a background in effects based on his imdb page).  It is very sad to report that the make up and physical effects in the movie are at a minimum, and the entire movie is covered in ridiculous looking CGI that totally ruined the entire movie for me.  I’m sure this probably had to be done because the time and cost to kill 155 people with fake blood and prosthetics would’ve been an impossible task.  But I have to call it like I see it and the computer effects were atrocious and I couldn’t look past them.

The Summer of Massacre is coming January 31st to DVD and blu-ray from Breaking Glass Pictures.

DISCLAIMER: This article is in no way talking about the Killer Film Fest in a negative light. The festival itself supports an independent base of films for its selection and we commend them for that. This is only the account of what it is like to be a judge at a festival.  To have movies you love not be selected. To be a cry baby when they are not selected, but most importantly to illustrate that winning a festival may not necessarily make or break a film or guarantee that you will find an audience in every horror fan. I am grateful to have been given the opportunity to judge in 2011.  The creators are truly amazing folks.

When someone asks you if you want to judge a film festival you say… what? Well, it’s pretty much the same answer you give to metaphysical being that asks you if you are a God. You say yes.  I’ve watched my fair share of movies and I think I can tell when a movie is worth a good God damn. That’s not to say that I hold myself to be any kind of authority. How could I? I have no credentials. That PhD… the whole Doctor label… a sham! (no… YES!) But I think as long as you watch movies, love film and can at least express an opinion in some fashion that others might identify with you can evaluate film. There’s nothing to it really. Just pick the good ones. Pick the original ones. Pick films that fit the judging schema and then determine which films you think best fit into the pre-fab categories as determined by the good folks who are putting on the festival. You’re really being asked which movies you’d watch or at least that’s how I see it. Which films you, as a fan of cinema, think other folks need to see.  It’s what we do every day. We tell our friends or readers what films we think are worth their time. Why we want people to see ‘em. Why they should avoid ‘em (and there are just plenty of those to go around). Never could I have imagined how very wrong I could have been about what it means to be a film festival judge; the fortitude you must have to actually get through the films you are being asked to evaluate and the angst you feel when the films you so dearly love don’t make the grade and the worse yet… the feeling that you have attached your name, as a judge, to films that you may not have enjoyed and may have in fact despised.

I want to make clear that I’m not going to bash films throughout this article. I’m not going to give you specific recommendations for films from the festival until the end of the article because it’s not fair to the festival entrants. I want to give you my experience in the judging said festival and not a record of a how mean I can be to people trying to make it in the industry. So I’ll give you some semi-nonspecific anecdotes and then tell you which films were truly novel.

I’m not sure that’s it’s everyone’s dream to judge a film festival. I had always found the prospect exciting, so when I was asked the answer was instantaneously, “yes”.  How did this prospect come about? I simply shared a link for the Killer Film Feston FaceBook and was contacted by one of the good folks who run the festival. He knew that I did some writing for the online horror world and thought I might be a good fit. I can safely say that I have seldom met a nicer group of folks.  The festival was to be held in Cambridge, Massachusetts, a short five hour drive from my humble abode in New Jersey, and, hey, if I couldn’t make it, all the judging was done online well before the festival anyway. Score. I wasn’t entirely certain I’d be able to travel with a new baby on the docket. The film load was estimated at about seventy movies. Mostly shorts but a few full length films would be included from around the world. Again, no problem. I can handle a pretty heavy viewing load given enough Mountain Dew with Rockstar energy drink chaser.  The viewing and preliminary judging would take place beginning in late July and running through the end of September. Final judging would occur shortly thereafter with announcements made at the festival come the first week in Novemeber. Bring it on! Each judge was announced in turn (four “guest” judges”).

A bit of history from the KFF:

Killer Film Fest emerged in November 2009 at the Orpheuem Theater in Foxboro, MA as the premiere of the feature film “Kill Everyone” from Producer Michael Vallier II and Writer/Director Richard Tobin Jr. After completing “Kill Everyone” and seeking a venue to host the premiere, they decided to invite other local filmmakers to show a series of short films before “Kill Everyone” sharing the venue space and bringing the filmmakers together for a night of “Killer Films”.  After searching for short films, Michael and Richard received feature film submissions even though that was not what they were looking for and since there were so many local filmmakers who want to show their work, why not book the theater for a complete weekend and make a small fest out of it. Well they did and it was a big success with a turnout of over 500 horror fans throughout the 3-day weekend event.  With no real indie horror film festival in the Massachusetts area and after many people asking if they would do Killer Film Fest again, it just made sense to continue and turn the 3-day local film screening into an all-out international indie horror film festival.

Come late July I received an email with access code and instructions concerning judging schema, time frames for submitting ballots etc. Films were posted on Vimeo, password protected and comments disabled.  The only contact with other judges would come through a rarely visited forum. The internet can act like a marvelous isolation chamber if one so desires to have it as such. I avoided the forums and stuck my nose deep in some of early entries. As the festival runners would received new entries, films would be posted and updates would be sent to each judge.

At first I thought we were deciding whether films would simply be accepted into the festival for judging, but quickly found out that all films put on the website had been accepted. Not all films that were entered to the Festival were accepted, but there were a few here that needed re-watching.  It’s no skin off my tits what films a festival chooses to embrace for judging, but after watching a few of the films I realized that entrants love to take the common trope in popular horror and exploit it to the absolute max. While the judging schema embraced standard quality categories including editing, effects quality (both computer generated and practical), sound and cinematography, the category that seemed to stand out was the “story” category. Was the story orignal? The category was pretty clear that it higher scores would be based on stories that pushed boundaries; truly original works that moved the horror genre forwarded. Say what you want about internet piracy and big studios destroying independent cinema. The number one enemy of the indy filmmaker is the copycat. Take a great story and then watch as you are cannibalized by anyone with a handycam. The outcome is oversaturation. Oversaturation turns off audiences faster than killing and dismembering a turtle in a cannibal movie. If you’ve seen it before, why watch it again? So the story category seemed to be a paramount category. You can have as many technical difficulties as you want. You can use terrible CGI in leiu of practical effects. You can even send me a film that was clearly shot on a VHS camcorder circa 1988 using the onboard microphone, no lighting and without the assitance of a tripod. If you do any of those things and tell me a story I haven’t heard before I’ll look past 90% of your flaws. Send me in the unofficial Saw VIII under a different title and you won’t be considered at all. You can call me Judge Judy (and not Harry Stone as I’d prefer).

Three of the first four films I watched were unoriginal, well shot, well scored, well acted films that clearly played off the recent success of several popular pieces of horror fiction. The only outlier was a foreign film that told a story so beautiful and organic I can only say that I felt sad. I didn’t feel scared or grossed out; just an overwhelming feeling that I needed to go find my Goth Rock CD’s circa 1999 and paint my nails black. I’m not sure you can say that one out of four films gives you any kind of hope, but the festival was only in its infancy and there would be plenty of other movies to view.

Quickly I realized the indy filmmakers can make some pretty powerful short films using only about five to fifteen minutes of your time. There are some truly talented actors and filmmakers who understand that fleshing out a short story that can capture your attention in just three minutes doesn’t need to be a full 90 minutes. The full length movies weren’t poorly made. They were highly unoriginal or drawn out beyond necessity. What was worse was that I began to realize that most of the full length features played on a film that had been popular in the last two to three years in major releases (not necessarily Hollywood releases, just major theatrical presenations). I turned to the shorts for salvation and to find something/anything worth watching. I’ll tell you that everyone thinks they can make a zombie movie these days. Slap some latex on your buddy’s face and insert John Hughes plot point and you can have yourself an instant movie. Musicals are really coming into their own. I’m undecided as to whether this is a good thing, but at least the musicals don’t take themselves as seriously as the Paranormal Activity rip offs or worse yet, the faux documentary based on film X. Film X probably involves somebody kicking a map in the river or visiting an abandoned mental hopsital.

All in all I’d say I enjoyed fifteen of all the entrants and when asked to submit my ballot for judging I found that those same fifteen films fit in each category. I submitted my ballot and awaited the next step. When I received the final ballot, the top films had been chosen, placed in each category and we were told to order the films awarding points for our favorites. The list I got back barely included any of my inital selections and did instead include any number of the copycat films that I found destestable. Up until this point I had been having quite a lot of fun. Sure I was watching half filmed, half editted reduxes in found footage, but there were some talented mofos who needed our help. That’s who we judge the festival for, right? The fans.  In that moment it became quite clear to me that A. I was not simply picking movies I thought were good. I was picking movies that were supposed to be good for the genre that I loved. Movies that would drive and move the genre. I was supposed to pick films to take the next step.  And.. B. that wasn’t going to happen because the folks that chose alongside me made very, how shall I put this, SAFE choices. I have never conferred with the other judges. I don’t pretend that my opinion should be weighted any more than there opinion. It seems to me that my vote was not going to be accurately represented. The movies I had truly loved would not be in play. I became saddened. Suddenly my decision making prowess took to lofty expectations. This must be what all the kids who played saxophones in Ska bands in high school felt.

With one last round of judging I had to make sure that the film I truly loved for each category that still remained under consideration would move along. Was it to be? Nay. I will not divulge which films I did vote for at the festival, but I will give you a list of movies to beg, borrow, steal, purchase, trade for or ask for nicely from the film creators. I’m not writing this to bash the festival (as previously stated). The judges are excellent folks. The festival was handled professionally; the voting schema, scoring and tallying were on the up and up. It’s just a matter of taste. It’s one man’s trash being another man’s treasure. The only real difference here is that when you sign up to judge a festival, you’re name is on the trash or the treasure. If what you choose doesn’t win, you still have your name attached to it.  I look at who I would have liked to have win each category. I think about how I might have voted differently to help them out in the early rounds. Probably couldn’t have.  But future film fest judges and audience members, the final say isn’t with any of you. It all comes out in the distro.

One last note before we cut into the trailers for the movies you MUST see… Killer Film Fest is an outstanding outfit that puts on a mighty fine festival. This year it was in Cambridge, MA, but I believe a new location will be selected next year. It looks to be in Somerville, MA November 1-3rd. Look for adverts around September/October. We’ll make sure to keep you updated. Remember, the festival is a great festival. This piece is about my misconceptions of what it means to judge a festival.  And if your curious, if the KFF asked me to be a judge again this year, I would say YES. We need to keep on trying. You’ll notice that some of these films actually placed or won awards. We make our difference!

Here are the entrants  that you NEED to keep your eyes on. I adored these films. You friggin’ better give ‘em a shot.

First Flesh Eating Fog (I feel no shame in telling you this was my pick to win the festival). Think Street Trash on an even lower budget. Hilarious but fun gore.

Flesh-eating Fog – Killer Film Fest 2011 Trailer from Killer Film Fest Online on Vimeo.

Incubator (Actor to Director: What’s my motivation? Director to actor: You’re an egg sack…)

INCUBATOR – Killer Film Fest 2011 Trailer from Killer Film Fest Online on Vimeo.

Tonrar Yuralria (Did someone watch Rare Exports alot?)

Tonrar Yuralria – Killer Film Fest 2011 Trailer from Killer Film Fest Online on Vimeo.

WILT (I got teared up… real tears.)

WILT – Killer Film Fest 2011 Trailer from Killer Film Fest Online on Vimeo.

O Risco (The Line… HILARIOUS… even the brevity of the trailer is funny).

O Risco – Killer Film Fest 2011 Trailer from Killer Film Fest Online on Vimeo.

Hell Blaster Bastards (Gore!)

『Hell Blaster Bastards』Trailer from eggheads on Vimeo.

Wanna pick up a copy of Easter Bunny Kill! Kill!? Maybe you live in Staten Island and have not as of yet perused the documentary Cropsey. Now’s the chance at a rather generious discount.  Breaking Glass Pictures is cutting you a break for the holiday season (or post-holiday season as it were). See below for details. Quite a few titles that one might explore even if I haven’t heard of a number of them.  What’s your favorite?

A Belated Christmas Gift from Breaking Glass Pictures

Bring in the New Year with Breaking Glass Pictures and Vicious Circle Films! We wanted to thank all of our horror press outlets for an excellent 2011. So in the spirit of the holiday BGP is offering horror fans a $6 discount off the already reduced price of each horror title in the catalog of films. This discount will bring consumers DVDs and Blu Rays for close to the wholesale price!  It’s as easy as going to the Breaking Glass store www.shop.breakingglasspictures.com choosing as many horror titles as your heart desires and then using the code horrorholiday readers will receive $6 off of each already discounted title.  This opportunity will not last forever so be sure to take advantage of it while you can.  And be sure to have a horrifying holiday!!

www.Breakingglasspictures.com

www.facebook.com/BreakingGlassPictures

www.twitter.com/BreakingGlassPX

###  

From Erik L Wilson, filmmaker from the Chicago, comes a new entrant into the film festival circuit, House Call. With new movie season right around the corner and the summer ripe with fresh opportunities to catch the latest independent efforts consider yourself lucky that this film is among the contenders.

Synopsis: Janice does the unthinkable in order to start a new life with her new boyfriend. However, strange things begin to happen on the night of their one year anniversary.

House Call — Horror Short — Trailer from Erik L. Wilson on Vimeo.

Having judged a film festival recently (article coming soon on that experience) I can tell you that this is a definite contender for at least a nod from one of the horror fests out there if not award worthy. Erik Wilson has put together a quality film and while it didn’t exactly scare me (most because William Shatner wasn’t being attacked by a pile of killer tarantulas) it is entertaining. There’s an overabundance of rather shotty filmsmanship out there.  If you submit a film to a festival and the audience can’t understand the dialogue due to deafening white noise, consider not submitting that film. If a film is dark… I mean darker than any color in the Crayola arsenal… so dark you can’t differentiate between a moving, raging killer and the lamp that the killer just knocked over… DO NOT SUBMIT YOUR FILM. Wilson’s efforts, on the other hand, are of excellent quality. Good sound. Well lit. Professional. It was shot on the Red One camera which ain’t your mama and daddy’s Betamax camcorder.

The overall story line plays out like a rather typical spiritual revenge film but still has certain novel hints that allow it play in front of  genre fans. At least one makeup job had me thinking Drag Me To Hell; I think this is a strength considering the success of that film and the quality of the effects.

Keep your eyes out for this effort. Let’s see how the circuit gives Wilson a house call (sad trombone inserted here).

Stay in contact and check out the trailer:

Link to Facebook page:
https://www.facebook.com/HouseCallmovie

Link to trailer:
http://vimeo.com/eriklwilson/housecalltrailer

Link to poster of film:
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=125517574201750&set=a.125517567535084.32997.125481257538715&type=3&theater

You can always tell what kind of home you’ve entered into based on 2 things:  What art adorns the walls and what books take up space on their coffee table.  Well, if Marcus Hearn’s latest book, The Hammer Vault,  is spotted on a coffee table then you can count on me sticking around in that house.

I would love to know what's being discussed.

Recently released by Titan Books, The Hammer Vault combines Hearn’s vast knowledge of the British film studio with never-before-seen photos to create the definitive collection of stories and artifacts.  It’s littered with annotated pages from various scripts, poster art that was never used, rare promotional materials, and even private correspondence that took place amongst some of Hammer (and horror’s) most famous names.  Marcus Hearn is the official Hammer film historian, so what you’re getting access to is the best of the best when it comes to this notorious studio’s history.

Hammer is a name synonymous with horror’s rich history.  When we think of actors like Christopher Lee or Peter Cushing, instantaneously our mind shifts towards the classic roles they’re best known for.  Those roles are from Hammer films, always!  So, if you fancy yourself a fan of those films and that era, this book is a must.  You’ll get all the nasty little details you could’ve ever wanted and then some.  The hardbound beauty retails for $34.95 and can be picked up by visiting www.titanbooks.com.

Vote Lee/Cushing in 2012

Richard Donahue and Justin Williams of Mourningside Productions have done a marvelous job of bringing their horrific ideas to mind.  They’re frugal gentlemen, too.  They work on shoestring budgets and maximize the atmosphere with each outing.  After last year’s slasher-but-oh-so-much-more Grayhaven, the next film fell into the the “sky’s the limit” category.  What I didn’t expect was to receive a package from my fellow Oriole lovers that included a film NOT written or directed by the duo.  Instead, they lent their help to another filmmaker by the name of Daemon McConnaughey who (keeping in the Mourningside tradition of unconventional) took on the not-s0 simple task of revisiting Rod Serling’s The Midnight Sun.  Yes, that Rod Serling!

Considered an adaptation or a re-imagining of the original, The Midnight Sun is the story of Norma (played by Grayhaven alumnist, Natasha McConnaughey) and Helen (Elana Williams).  The 2 women are coping with the end of the world.  For some inexplicable scientific reason, the earth has begun an ascension that’s  leading it closer and closer toward the sun.  As expected, folks are headed toward cooler climates north of them but will it be enough?  As the cities empty out and hope is waning, the 2 women struggle to maintain sanity.  Time is slipping away from them as the temperature increases.  Who goes first?  The earth or its people?

The Twilight Zone’s Rod Serling was a magical storyteller.  Taking on his work isn’t to be done in an aloof manner, and knowing Mourningside’s history I’m certain that they had no intention of doing so.  Shot in an homage-styled black & white, it works in the way you expect The Twilight Zone to work, but with that Mourningside touch.  McConnaughey uses the same methods that Donahue and Williams have:  Very few set pieces,  small cast, rely on natural abilities/fear to drive the story.  Fortunately, the story already had its built-in fear.  So, McConnaughey used a modern (yet, somehow still timeless) setting to chronicle 2 people’s struggle with the end of humanity.  The story certainly cashes in on the claustrophobic concept initially created by Serling.  The walls are closing in on Norma and Helen, both figuratively and literally.  Knowing as we do that it’s a matter of time before it’s all gone, watching their struggle feels almost merciless on the part of the audience.  When hitched onto the unmistakable Twilight Zone-esque ending, this loving tribute is definitely going to win over the lover of a good ol’ fashion horror story.

The Midnight Sun is not intended to be an official release from the Baltimore-based company.  It was shot in honor of Serling’s work as a non-profit film.  If you’re interested in finding out more (and I recommend you do!  It’s an excellent watch!), visit www.mourningsideproductions.net for the details on The Midnight Sun and their other releases.

The team at Fatal Pictures consisting of writer/director Richard Powell, producer Zach Green, and actor Robert Nolan came to us with a previous endeavor of theirs’ known as Worm.  Worm got to me.  I was genuinely intrigued by the up and down emotional trek it took me on.  I would liken their previous film  to that of a Fugazi song with its build up, drop off, build up, etc.  Naturally, after being contacted by producer Zach Green about the next chapter in this team’s history,  it stirred up curiosity wondering what they could’ve concocted this time around.  Worm took the route of punishing the mind.  My assumption was that Familiar would take a similar route.  I was half right…

Familiar is the story of John Dodd, a middle-aged married man.  He has a normal day job, a teenage daughter, and fair amount of animosity towards his own life.  John’s psyche is on shaky ground.  He’s clearly fighting some frightening compulsions…and he’s barely strong enough to hold them back.   But what we initially think are John’s tragic demons bubbling to the surface of his mind, end up being a much more sinister (and LIVING) “thing”.

This Canadian filmmaking team has taken the short film and made it something of an art form.  I’ve always considered this format a trying one.   To convey each emotion possible in a fraction of the time is a feat.  Fatal Pictures has not only upstaged their previous work, they’ve done it AGAIN in a very little amount of time!  You see, Familiar is a very tricky movie.  At first glance, I assumed I’d be getting a mental beating ala’ Gaspar Noe’s I Stand Alone.  Familiar starts off on that sort of path, with us being audience to John Dodd’s inner monologue.  But just when Powell masterfully builds you up to (what you assume will be) an explosive moment, he takes a hard right into a body-based trauma that would make David Cronenberg giggle.  At the point in which the audience learns that the “monologue” isn’t necessarily his own, it already feels to be too late.  The train to Fucked Town has left the station.  It goes without saying, this can only lead to horrible, nasty, awful things.

Considering this was the first indie flick I was tackling for the new year, I was more than pleased that it came from the consistently rockin’ Fatal Pictures.  Personally, I have yet to be disappointed with this indie company’s output.  This team is careful to present their work in ways a lot of self-funded filmmakers do not.  Familiar is gorgeously shot, strongly acted, and doesn’t rely on generic trickery to invoke its suspense.  It is another successful outing from Toronto’s Fatal Pictures.  They’ve trumped their previous work with a film that exceeds the idea of them being promising-it proves they’ve got what it takes to stick around.  Now, let’s see a feature length, guys!

Frabjous Tidings, Brothers and Sisters of the Psychotronic Video World! When Wes asked me to write an end-of-the-year wrap-up piece, I found myself in a little bit of a pickle.  I didn’t watch most of the new horror released this year, haven’t been watching THE WALKING DEAD or AMERICAN HORROR STORY, in short, I’ve been something of a piss-poor horror nerd this year.  C’est la vie.  I ultimately decided to recreate the spark I had last year when I wrote up quickie capsule reviews of the 10 best books I’d read that year.

I didn’t read quite as many Bloodsprayer relevant books this year, in part due to spending two months studying paralegalism, and in part due to a sudden compelling interest in the Middle Ages.  That being said, I still got quite a bit of good reading in, and I bring you 2011′s list of the 10 Best Bloodsprayer-Relevant Books I Read.

10.) Forbidden Fruit: The Golden Age of the Exploitation Film, by Felicia Feaster and Brett Wood.  One thing I’ve truly fallen in love with this year, readers, is exploitation film, especially some of the sleazy stuff to have come out of the 1930s and 1940s.  Midget westerns, drug-scare propaganda (REEFER MADNESS, anyone?), VD scare propaganda, monkey suits, and the pinnacle of raw, honest American filmmaking, FREAKS.  Feaster and Wood do an excellent job not just cataloging these films, but also at presenting the zeitgeist of the era.

9.) Kong Unbound: The Cultural Impact, Pop Mythos, and Scientific Plausibility of a Cinematic Legend, edited by Karen Haber.  The original 1933 KING KONG is consistently in my “Top 3″ list of greatest movies ever made.  Everything about it is just absolutely spectacular.  This book, released in conjunction with the 2005 remake, is a collection of essays by the likes of Ray Bradbury, Harryhausen, William Stout, Phillip J. Currie, Maurice Sendak and more, exploring KONG not just on the surface, but also deeper themes such as sexual repression, race relations, the triumph of technology over the natural world, etc.

8.) Unruly Pleasures: the Cult Film and its Critics, edited by Xavier Mendik and Graham Harper.  Ever find yourself in an upper level collegiate course without having taken the prerequisites? That’s how this book feels to me, and I think it would have ranked higher if so much of it hadn’t gone over my head.  With essays covering topics ranging from the original ROLLERBALL to the politics of female ejaculation-pornography, it’s a pretty heady read.

7.) Shambling Towards Hiroshima, by James Morrow.  Exploring an alternate history in which, Plutonium production being considered too costly, the United States embarked in a biogenetics experiment to produce giant, fire-breathing reptiles to use against the Japanese in WWII, Shambling Towards Hiroshima is a somber, sorrowful story told through the eyes of Syms Thorley, a B-movie actor hired to play “Gorgantis” when the experiment hits a snag, in a demonstration designed to hopefully convince the Japanese to surrender.  Much more serious and heart-wrenching then it sounds, especially with the framing story around Thorley’s narrative.

6.) The Elric Saga, by Michael Moorcock.  Elric of Melniboné being pretty much the polar opposite of Conan the Barbarian — a sickly, albino sorcerer-king of a prehuman race, cursed to slay everyone he ever cares for, betrayer of his entire species and harbinger of the doom of the world — Moorcock’s prose is an amazing blend of Victorian gothicism, 1960s psychedelica (he wrote lyrics for Hawkwind and Blue Oyster Cult!) and classic fantasy adventure fiction.  The entire series, written over a period of over four decades, has recently been reprinted by Del Rey in omnibus editions.

5.) Strange Histories: The Trial of the Pig, the Walking Dead, and Other Matters of Fact from the Medieval and Renaissance World, by Darren Oldridge.  A nonfiction book dealing with the beliefs and superstitions of Europeans from the 10th through the 17th centuries, Oldridge offers a fascinating insight into our ancestors’ (well, if you’re of European descent like myself) worldview and belief systems.  Much of it is fairly mind-blowing (Medieval Europeans, by and large, did not believe in werewolves, on the grounds that only God could transform one body into another), though Oldridge seems a little too intent on his argument that the people of the 10th century were every bit as rational and reasonable as those of the 21st century — glossing considerably over witchcraft trials, for example.

4.) Trash Cinephile, by Blake Ryan.  An excellent collection of reviews, arranged by theme, and covering a wide variety of films ranging from sicko 1970s exploitation to classic horror.  Ryan’s opinions are well-thought out and delivered with panache — though there’s a little bit of poor proofreading on the part of some galley-preparer marring the book.

3.) Cinema Sewer Collected Vol. III, by Robin Bougie.  Do you believe in magic? I do, and it comes in the form of the Bougieman’s transcendentally hilarious and thoughtful hand-lettered prose and sensual, sexy artwork.  I’m probably going to gnaw my own face off waiting for Vol. IV.  Some highlights of this issue are a tribute to 1970s porn star Rene Bond, a sordid piece on white supremacist porn actress Bianca Trump, a tribute to Vanity, Women in Prison, and one of the finest illustrations of Queen Victoria I’ve ever seen.

2.) My Year of Flops: The A.V. Club Presents One Man’s Journey Deep into the Heart of Cinematic Failure, by Nathan Rabin.  Reading Rabin’s review made me want to watch WATERWORLD.  ‘Nuff said.

1.) Swedish Sensationsfilms, by Daniel Ekeroth.  I rushed out and bought a copy of this after reading Wes’ glowing review here.  And I was not disappointed.  Christina Lindberg in her own words, the bizarre history of “Glacier-Westerns,” Viking movies, the birth of western theatrical pornography…all told here in sly, entertaining prose.  A must read for any with an interest in international Psychotronic Cinema.

So Kris Kringle is packing the sleigh and yet you’re so Humbug even Ebenezer Scrooge would say, “Lighten up, ya wet blanket!” What’s going to pull you out of this funk? Well, personally I’d grease the wheels with extra helpings of that spiked egg nog and by parking my cute little ass in front of the boob tube for the true meaning of Christmas: Not-Necessarily-Christmas Christmas Movies.

In no particular order, here’s a run-down of some of my favorite movies that invoke the Holiday spirit without shoving the Yuletide cheer down your throat as if it were your first day of lock-up at the North Pole Corrections Facility. Calm down and keep that ugly ass sweater on if your favorite cult & genre films didn’t make the cut. There’s always next year… Just kidding, it’s my list, deal with it.

AMERICAN PSYCHO (2000)

Caught in the corporate grind of 1980s materialism, what does one do to blow off the steam of the holidays? Why dissect and mutilate of course. Some folks would like Christian Bale under their tree this year; naked, and bloody. Me, I’ll settle for him in reindeer horns at his fiancé’s Christmas party. And I’ll ask Santa to make Bret Easton Ellis write a story which finally unites Patrick Bateman with his kid brother, Sean. There’s nothing like family on the holidays.

I have to go return some video tapes.

STANLEY KUBRICK DOUBLE-FEATURE

FULL METAL JACKET (1987)

Happy Birthday, Jesus! We got you all these souls for heaven. We just weren’t sure how to wrap ‘em. Seriously, if one flick runs the gauntlet of human emotions for Christmas it’s got to be Stanley Kubrick’s war-time masterpiece. How many relatives have you endured berating you with festive merriment? So give the gift of jelly donuts Christmas morning and wonder if the best part of you ran down the crack of your Momma’s ass and ended up as a stain on the mattress.

AND

EYES WIDE SHUT (1999)

What do you get that special someone in your life this Christmas? How about a heaping helping of paranoia, sex games, dead hookers, and a blistering need for infidelity? Kubrick skewers the giving of the season by examining just how much one couple can take. The slow burn of the storytelling between Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman is just enough to revel in their shared awkwardness despite them being Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman.

I wonder if Santa ever wears a mask…

THE CITY OF LOST CHILDREN (1995)

Ah, the little ones. Their heads all filled with visions of sugar plums and Xbox 360s, and Transformers, and a billion other things that will ruin your credit rating come January. So when a mad scientist kidnaps the kiddies to steal their dreams, it’s up to strong man Ron Perlman to help save the day. We all need a little adventure to put a shine to these grey skies above us and this flick will put you right into the spirit with its opening sequence alone.

BRAZIL (1985)

Nothing quite puts the year in review like watching a man is arrested by the secret police who mistake him for a terrorist due to a misprinted file at the Ministry of Information. Getting lost in the visuals of Terry Gilliam’s surreal visuals is what makes this flick a cult hit, but it’s almost too eerie in how its story seems to Occupy Everything. It’s a gentle reminder that at this precious time of year to appreciate all we have and what we worked for, and how easily it can all be taken away from you.

DIE HARD (1988)

Bruce Willis – the receding hairline that launched a career. I like to imagine that this movie is where Carl Winslow went to work each day when he left home on FAMILY MATTERS. This flick is almost like LETHAL WEAPON via walkie talkie. You’d think I’d include the follow-up sequel as well since it wraps itself in the same garland and tinsel, but I like my movies like I like my Kentucky Fried Chicken; Original Recipe all the way. Anyway, machine gunning terrorists all to rescue a woman that will still divorce you, it makes you wonder why we all go to the lengths we do at Christmas. Sure, John McClane had to walk on broken glass, but I got a paper cut from wrapping presents, so I think we’re about even.

BATMAN RETURNS (1992)

Michelle Pfeiffer in black vinyl. Christopher Walken doing whatever the hell he wants. Michael Keaton in his prime. And why do those penguins have rockets? These are all the reasons to enjoy the circus sideshow that is Tim Burton’s last ride at the helm of the Batman franchise. This flick is so all over the place you almost forget about Danny Devito’s need for family and the undercurrent of Judeo-Christian themes throughout. What? You thought it was just getting this flick done with so the wardrobe department could put nipples on the Bat suit?

P.S. Santa please bring me a Duck Tank.

SOLDIER (1998)

Kurt Russell, I don’t know why the good people of Earth don’t respect you like they should. You were Snake Plissken, Captain Ron, and Stuntman Mike. But many would have you forget you were a Soldier, a semi-robotic killing machine, but a Soldier none the less. So I salute you and the many others like you fighting the good fight for the liberties we all hold dear.

My favorite liberty is crap-tastic cinema and the freedom to subjugate others with my movie collection. America, FUCK YEA!

FEMALE TROUBLE (1974)

Cha-Cha heels. ‘Nuff said.

I hope your Holidays are happy and healthy and I look forward to traumatizing your brain with my thoughts and opinions come 2012.

Who’s Will Surive and What Will Be Left of Them? Or rather, who’s dead and who will they sleep with next?

The good folks over at Cultural Compulsive Disorder have put together a road map to the “As the World Turns”-esque Soap Opera American Horror Story. Ever wonder whether Derek actually died? Well he did and CCD have done the fact checking to prove it (By the by, of course Derek is dead). What about Marcy, the realtor? Alive! This one actually stunned me. In my own private musings I drummed up a sub-plot whereby Marcy is forced to sell the AHS house for eternity since she actually died there on one of her sales calls. Alas, I am mistaken.

Stop on by CCD for all your pop culture needs and to view the full sized version. Enjoy the dedciation and hard work put forth by Joe Fletch and Jeff Bond.  It’s a better than any star map to which I’ve been privy.

 I’m not sure that it’s the best time of the year to be disavowing any of God’s commandments… Santa’s coming… naughty list… you get it, but it’s clearly time to write your “I didn’t get this for Christmas” list.  With rumors of an Evil Dead remake which are clearly more than just misguided bloggers (uh hmmm) raping the internet for clues, this release is sure to give us all the Raimi/Campbell fix we’ve been so desiring. Full release notes to follow:

SYNAPSE FILMS PRESENTS

WHEN VIOLENCE DEMANDS REVENGE…

THE EXPLOITATION ACTION CLASSIC FROM THE PEOPLE WHO BROUGHT YOU THE EVIL DEAD AND EVIL DEAD 2!

Vietnam, 1969. War is Hell.  For Marine Sergeant
Jack Stryker (Brian Schulz), however, Hell is just the beginning.  Trapped outside a Viet Cong village, Stryker takes two bullets to the leg.
Sent home from the war, he discovers his ex-girlfriend (Cheryl Hausen) has been kidnapped by a religious cult with a vicious Manson-like leader (played by THE EVIL DEAD and SPIDER-MAN trilogy director, Sam Raimi). Stryker teams up with his marine buddies to form an assassination squad to annihilate the gang of crazed killers.

Synapse Films proudly presents THOU SHALT NOT KILL… EXCEPT in an all-new 2K high-definition transfer from the original negative.  Directed by Josh Becker, this “must see” (Detroit Free Press) cult classic features many of the creative personnel responsible for THE EVIL DEAD, including co-writer Bruce Campbell, writer/producer Scott Spiegel (INTRUDER), composer Joseph LoDuca, and actor Ted Raimi.

Special Features:

• All-New High-Definition 2K Digital     Restoration from the Original Negative
• The Original Super 8mm Short film, STRYKER’S WAR, starring Bruce Campbell!
• Made in Michigan: The Making of THOU SHALT NOT KILL… EXCEPT – Featurette
• Two Audio Commentaries featuring Director Josh Becker, Bruce Campbell, and Star Brian Schulz
• All-New Video Interview with Actor/Writer Bruce Campbell
• Deleted Scene with Optional Director’s Commentary
• Alternate Title Sequence
• Original Theatrical Trailer
• Reversible Alternate Cover Artwork

Disc Info:

Director: Josh Becker
Starring: Sam Raimi, Ted Raimi, Scott Spiegel, Brian Schulz
Run Time: 83 minutes
Release Date: March 13, 2012
Language: English
Aspect Ratio: 16:9 1.66:1
Format: DVD/Blu-ray combo
Region: All regions

Price: $29.95

Synapse Films

Written by Jimmy Terror  who can be found at Dr. Terror’s Blog of Horrors

It’s a fairly generic sentiment to opine over what happened throughout these past 12 months.  Certainly, every site and magazine on the planet will be doing the exact same thing.  But, I’ll be honest:  It’s a lot of fun to do this sort of thing.

I used the same criteria as I did last year.  It’s official IMDB page may not say 2011, but if it’s blu-ray/DVD release was 2011 stateside, then it qualifies.  Also, I don’t exactly live in the mecca of entertainment, so I gotta try a little harder to get my hands on certain things.   This year’s searching was well worth it.

2011 produced a lot of great things from the genre.  As usual, the theatrical releases were momentary and forgettable.  I’ll be the first guy to admit that not only do I not go see 90% of the genre films released in theatre, I also don’t give a shit about that 90%.  They just don’t interest me.  8 million other sites are gonna have their heads up the asses of those movies, so I’d just as soon seek out the films I want to see and that system has yet to let me down.  So, without further adieu, I present my list of 2011′s best (and then some)…

1.Valhalla Rising-A lot of stuff came out after this one that I loved, but nothing quite surpassed it for me.   Director Nicolas Winding Refn’s hallucinatory, mystical mindfuck summons the demons of Jodorowsky and Lynch while still packing it’s own distinct punch.  Refn made an impression on me with his film Bronson and Drive caught the world’s attention (as well it should have!), but for the purposes of The Blood Sprayer’s world, I can tell you that after    watching Valhalla Rising I never recovered.  This one stayed with me all year long and will long after this year.

2.Black Death-So what if he plays the same character from the same era in every film?  Sean  Bean is a real dick kicker!!  The medieval battle for good and evil, the plague, and all kinds of  badassery runs rampant.  Who doesn’t like evil?!  Black Death is dark and full of  the faith testing concepts that usually end up in films like this, but this movie is made for horror fans.  From the first frame all the way to the end, I found myself grinning. The combination of horror and The Black Plague seems so obvious now.

3.Stake Land-If Twilight has taught us anything, it’s that vampires are fucking lame.  We don’t fear Dracula any longer, and rightfully so.  Awful haircut, terrible accent, cape…what a douche.  In the modern era, they just can’t hold weight for horror fans.  The concept has been reduced to romance and soap opera antics.  Then, Stake Land came out…

Jim Mickle whipped up a no-bullshit vampire movie that turns them into the bloodsucking monsters they are.  Stake Land’s characters win your heart immediately.  You ache for them.  As the world is collapsing around them, they’re left with no choice but to fight.  It’s heartbreaking and full of action.  This one will follow you home.  (Sidenote:  If Hollywood needs any more reason to give Danielle Harris and Nick Damici some worthy roles, they just need to see this.)

4.Super-James Gunn is one of our guys.  He’s never lost touch with his geeky roots.  In fact, I would go as far as to say they’re his driving force.  So, it should have come as no surprise to horror fans that Super was as gory and messed up as it was.  Rainn Wilson?  Ellen Page?  Kevin Bacon?  Michael Rooker?! Liv Tyler?!  Hell yes!!!  Mr. Wilson’s performance ranked as one of the best I encountered all year.  He didn’t have super powers.  Hell, he didn’t even have a good costume.  But, his sociopathic code of ethics was enough to make his rampage the fun blast that it was.  The writers of the show Dexter really could learn a thing  or two from James Gunn about writing a moral lunatic.  Expect this to be on cult film lists for years to come.

5.Attack The Block-This was more than a movie in our home.  It was an event.    Everything about ATB is likable, from it’s anti-hero lead characters, right down to it’s stylized badass cinematography.  With as many times as my son has watched this one since its release, I got a feeling this is going to be one of his generations’ favorites.  The monsters are jazz-cool and the movie moves at a damn fine clip.  All the popular kids are hip to ATB.  Sometimes, the cool kids are right.

6.Witch’s Brew-Chris LaMartina did his city and filmography proud this year.  Witch’s Brew is everything good and hopeful about indie horror.  It has likable characters played by actors who handled the script with a great deal of precision.  The effects are entertaining, set pieces are realistic (for a witch movie) and overall Witch’s Brew outdid all of it’s contemporaries by being better at combining blood and brains accurately.  I’m chomping at the bit, eagerly awaiting Chris LaMartina’s next flick.  If you haven’t seen any of his work, then you’re not living life to the fullest.  This was more than my favorite indie film I saw this year, it was one of my favorites period.  My crush on LaMartina rages on…

7. TrollHunter-I struggled with whether or not I could include this in as a true horror flick, but after much deliberation I couldn’t keep it off this list.  This was another major event in the Allen household this year.  Can anyone honestly say they didn’t love this movie?  It’s a trunk full of fun!  There’s great moments of that Blair Witch-esque suspense while dialogue is being dispersed, but when the trolls show up?  Well, then we get into some Jurassic Park territory.  TrollHunter is one of the best monster movies I’ve seen in about 10 years.  Multiple views are well deserved.  I’ve got that hunch that this too, ends up as one of the flicks my son’s generation reveres as a classic.

8. Hobo With A Shotgun-If there was one single film that ruled the school amongst genre fans in 2011, it was Hobo With A Shotgun.  Discussions begun in 2010 as the first rumblings of this began to surface.  When all was said and done, the final product lived up to it’s hype with room to spare.  The colors are bold, the performances are waaaaaay off the charts crazy, and the cinematography is flawless (as if I’d expected any different from the mighty Karim Hussain?).  I’m certain you’re already familiar with it and have probably seen it, but if you haven’t YET seen this movie…well, what the hell are you waiting for?!!

9. I Saw The Devil-While the Asian horror craze has quieted down considerably, this year we got some some pretty nice surprises.  This Korean revenge flick is mind-blowing.  The story is relentless in its pursuit to teach the antagonist his lesson.  The film’s anti-hero lead is a skilled son of a bitch in the ways of human suffering…and suffer does the wicked.  I sat up straight with my eyes wide open through every second of this movie, and when the credits rolled, it took every ounce of my being to not leap out of my chair and scream.  Mostly because I was home alone and that is a level of lonely I’m not ready to accept.  ISTD successfully casts you and reels you back in so many time, your head will be spinning.  This is quintessential revenge cinema executed with a level of perfection we’ve come expect from those crazy Korean bastards.

10. Red State-Kevin Smith is a public figure who (at times) is on the verge of having his persona overshadow his body of work.  I’m not nearly as harsh a critic of Kevin Smith’s work as a lot of folks are.  His films are associated with some very personal moments in my life and on more than one occasion, I’ve found myself tearing up while watching one of  them.  You may hate his world view, but it’s a view all his own that is both gross-out funny and deeply intimate.   With all of that in mind, I was still quite worried about Red State.  Sure, Mr. Smith can make me laugh but can he scare me?  Answer:  Fuck yes.

This film came with a lot of attention attached to in the form of both subject matter and how it came to be.  Fortunately, it killed!  Kevin Smith made a relevant, current, and (most importantly) scary film.  The last time a character really truly scared me in the way Michael Park’s did was Javier Bardem’s performance in No Country For Old Men.  Park’s performance of a Fred Phelps-like doomsday preacher is one that could bring about the apocalypse.  Red State’s tension is built upon every line he delivers.  I have no idea what Kevin Smith has in store next, but Red State is as potent as they come.  My faith in him remains in tact.

11.Tucker And Dale Vs. Evil-Comedic timing is a crucial part of horror film acting.  Thankfully, when the the cats making TADVE decided to begin their search for cast members, they made all the right decisions.  Another movie that came with a lot of attention,  TADVE would fall into the splatstick sub-genre quite nicely.  It’s got a million laughs that always come with some outrageous gore attached to them.  Alan Tudyk and Tyler Labine make a marvelous comedy team (also, Labine’s abilities are PROPERLY put to use here.  Seems a rarity.) who would do Sam Raimi quite proud.  Shaun of The Dead was the last big horror comedy to capture horror fans’ hearts so strongly, but TADVE can officially be placed right along side that now.

12. 13 Assassins-Does it really need explaining?  I mean, c’mon.  Takashi Miike returns to his balls-out ways with a martial arts film that beats the holy hell out of some the turd burgers Jet Li unleashed on America over the past 10 years.  As expected from my beloved Miike, this film is overflowing with insanity and violence-the way it SHOULD be!  It could very easily win over the heart of non-horror/genre lovers by appealing to the everyday sensibilities of film fans.  You know someone who digs on big budget action flicks?  Throw in 13 Assassins and watch them shit diamonds when the action kicks in.  This movie reaches new heights of insanity that horror fans (as well as Miike fans in general) will be instantly attracted to.  I know I was.  I’m not asking you to view this as a horror flick, I’m asking you to view it as a fan of kick ass, crazy, violent movie that will captivate you.  Miike = Master.

13. Hatchet II-Adam Green is now a pretty steady presence in horror cinema.  He’s carved a niche into modern day fans’ minds by crossbreeding nostalgia and current trends successfully.  With Hatchet II, He furthered the legacy of his Victor Crowley slasher by revisting the swamp with new ideas in mind.  The kills are as whacked out as the previous film and Danielle Harris nails another solid performance in II.  Seriously, she keeps getting better and better over time.  With the knowledge of a third film headed our way in 2012, it’s good to know that the newly-minted Hatchet franchise (going on a third film qualifies as a franchise, right?) is not becoming hokey (yet) and keeps Adam Green at the forefront of our mind.  Horror for the horror lover, indeed.

14.Chillerama-Adam Green again?  Yep.  But this time he brought his buddies: Tim Sullivan, Joe Lynch, and Adam Rifkin all tackle a different segment for a anthology of perversion.  This one is filled with all kinds of disgusting ideas fresh off the ol’ sleaze film block.  If you don’t laugh at Were-Bears, Godzilla-sized sperm, Hitler parodies, or horny zombies then I just don’t have much time for you…seriously.  None whatsoever.  I laughed through this whole damn thing and have watched 3 times since.  Sometimes horror/exploitation films need to just own up, and this one does.  It reaches all new levels of absurdity that one would expect from the perverts involved.  Well done, gentleman.

15.The Last Circus-If ever there was a time to TRULY fear clowns, it would be after viewing The Last Circus.  Director Alex De La Iglesia weaves a sordid tale of violence, love, and misery.  When telling a buddy about this one who’d asked me what I’d thought of it, I could only think of  words to accurately depict my feelings:  Fucking chaos.  Quite frankly, this movie (which is beautifully shot) is as disturbing as anything I’ve seen lately.  All of the characters are dysfunctional at best, and when shit goes down it’s not that hard to believe it is.  Iglesia has a very warped mind that he’s sharing with the film community.  Make sure to thank  the guy for doing so.

Honorable Mentions:

-Chromeskull:  Laid to Rest 2

-Embodiment of Evil

-A Horrible Way To Die

-Kidnapped

-Machete Maidens Unleashed!

Best Non-Horror Films of 2011:

1. Harry Potter and The Deathly Hollows Pt. 2:  It was a fitting finish to a legendary fantasy franchise.  Harry showed the heart of a lion while Voldemort fought a valiant fight in the name of evil.  Because everyone and their brother had already read the books, we knew the outcome.  But to see it play out on the big screen was years in the waiting.  Well. Worth. The. Wait.

2. Super 8:  For the E.T. generation, this film was a nostalgia trip but for a new generation this was the greatest alien encounter movie they’d seen.  Seeing this film at the drive-in with my son a movie memory I won’t soon forget.  J.J. Abrams gets monsters.

3.Thor:  I’m like everyone else-I’m eagerly awaiting The Avengers movie.  Thor was one of the pieces of the puzzle that had me nervous.  After seeing it though, I wanted to go right back in that theatre and watch it again.  Comic book movies are pretty much expected nowadays.  The problem with that?  Some of them are shit (Green Lantern, Green Hornet…anything with Green in the title.).  Thor was everything I wanted and more.  A family outing left us all smiling.

4.Captain America: See previous film…I’m a geek.

5.Lemmy: It couldn’t have come to anyone’s surprise that one of rock and roll’s living legends had a documentary made about him.  He’s fuckin’ Lemmy, for pete’s sake!  This documentary captures the reality of who Lemmy is.  I think a lot of us view him as larger-than-life.  This documentary brings a human side to the music god.  Don’t let me fool you:  If I saw him face to face, I’d probably unravel but this doc definitely lets us into the life of one of the kings.  He’s a damn juggernaut who doesn’t seem to be slowing anytime soon.  You’ll be touched by some of the stories of generosity told by several of his music peers, as well as amazed by his ability to keep going as hard as ever.  Every story is true, every myth is real-Lemmy is God.

Best Indie Film/Filmmaker/Writer/Director/Everything:  

Chris LaMartina

I know I’m coming off sort of stalkerish, but between Witch’s Brew and President’s Day, Chris LaMartina more than won me over.  I have watched his films several times at this point, and from I’m sitting its seems like a good idea for someone to give him a lot of money.  A lot of money and leave him to his devices.  At the exact moment I was feeling a little bored with what was coming across my desk this year, I received a package from him.  That package (which included the aforementioned films, as  well as some others.) was my rejuvination.  He is worthy of all of your attention.  Get his films NOW!

What’s next?

2012 is right around the corner.  Thankfully, there’s much to be hopeful for.  We know that the Soska Sisters have wrapped shooting on American Mary.  Not just amongst the people at The Blood Sprayer, but amongst horror fans in general, there’s much to be excited about for this.  At Toronto After Dark in October, the world got a glimpse at The Theatre Bizarre.  The Theatre Bizarre (hitting theatres January 27th)  is a fucked up anthology film being brought to you by some of the genre’s most brilliant and transgressive minds (Richard Stanley, Douglas Buck, Buddy Giovinazzo, David Gregory, Karim Hussain, and Jeremy Kasten respectively).  This will most certainly be a flick the horror world will be drooling over.  Hope still remains, good is still to come and we’re going to be there right alongside you guys.

Things will be relatively quiet here at The Blood Sprayer until after the holidays, but fear not:  We’ll be coming back REALLY strong in January!  See y’all then!

(A little follow-up to this:  I covered only films because covering music and books would’ve been disgustingly long.  And let’s be honest:  You barely care about my opinion now, so why give you a reason to care even less?)

I hope an insane drug-induced Christian Bale rant comes out of this one.  It seems that Lionsgate feels that the 2000 cult classic, American Psycho is a little too “dated” for their liking.  Lined up with a director who’s only experience seems to be doing commercials and bitch work on The Social Nework, Noble Jones will be the man behind the lens of the latest unnecessary remake to hit the horror genre.  Jones has also been said to be penning the script for the second visit to Bret Easton Ellis’ infamous novel.  There’s a reason when they remade Nightmare on Elm Street they recast the role of Freddy.  Actors age, and as much as we’d love them to, cannot play their part the way they once did.  Christian Bale is STILL playing that same character as Bruce Wayne and is STILL in good enough shape to do it again.  Why the hell are they remaking a film when the lead is still getting plenty of work playing within the same character type?  This applies not just to Bale, but to the entire fucking cast.  Jared Leto hasn’t aged in twenty years, and neither has Reese Witherspoon.  While they’ve yet to cast the iconic role of Patrick Bateman, Ellis himself stated on Twitter that he will “approve” a new version of his book only if it stars either Miles Fisher (Final Destination 5) who did a pretty bang-up job reenacting Bale’s performance in his “This Must Be the Place” music video…or Scott Disick.  For those of you who don’t know who Scott Disick is, he’s the snobby pretty boy who put his bun in Kourtney Kardashian’s oven.  The first choice I can somewhat get behind and weirdly enough, I’d totally watch it with Scott Disick.  He may not have the homicidal tendencies as Patrick Bateman, but the “mask” Bateman wears might as well be sold as a Scott Disick starter set.  I’m not expecting this film to be good, at all.  If it’s going to be a train wreck, I’d rather it be a complete shit storm than something half-assed.  Passion swings both ways, this better be golden, or the worst thing since The Wicker Man remake.

I just can’t fully understand why Hollywood is so compelled to remake this masterpiece.  Unfortunately, Ellis sold the writes to his novel a long time ago, and his approval isn’t needed for this remake to happen.  Whether or not we want it to happen, it’s going to.  One of the more charming attributes of the film was the fact it was set in the 1980′s, and I don’t know how I feel about a Patrick Bateman using an iPhone or finding his prostitutes on Craigslist.  What will become of all of his movie references, and what will they replace the Huxtables line with?  I swear on my life if there is ONE even ONE Jersey Shore reference sprinkled in (I’m looking at you Three Stooges Movie) I will chase Noble Jones down a staircase nude with a chainsaw myself.  Didn’t we already suffer through enough when they put The Shat in the direct to dvd sequel?  Apparently not.

Welcome back, Brothers and Sisters of the Psychotronic Video World.  Today, I have a tasty treat for you from the land of biscuits, tea, and calling french fries “chips.”  Yes, we’re off to Jolly Olde England, that Green and Pleasant Land, as well as the surrounding United Kingdom for a little taste of horror.  Tonight, I will present to you three films, by three different directors, three different writers, yet all organized around the same theme — that of unpleasant survivals from ancient times — and thus perfectly suited for your next thematically-organized video marathon (What? You mean you don’t have those? Start, then, post-haste).

Spoilers ensue.

THE WICKER MAN (1973) — Alright, alright, let’s get it out of the way.  All together now: “KILLING ME WON’T BRING BACK YOUR GODDAMNED HONEY!” There, now there’s a load off.  While the 2006 remake starring Nicholas “Batshit Insanity” Cage is widely lauded as one of the worst movies ever made, the 1973 original is a masterpiece of suspense and understated, elegant horror.

Directed by Robin Hardy from a script by Anthony Shaffer, THE WICKER MAN stars Edward Woodward as Police Sergeant Howie, who has come to the remote island of Summerisle to investigate a missing persons case — a young girl, Rowan Morrison, has allegedly gone missing.  Strangely, however, the natives of Summerisle are reticent to help the Sergant, even asserting that Rowan Morrison never existed.

Howie soon meets with the cheerful, charismatic Lord Summerisle (Christopher Lee, sporting incredible sideburns and a kilt) who rules the island community.  Lord Summerisle makes things perfectly clear for Howie — Summerisle is a pagan community, having rejected Christianity in favor of a purer, older faith, a sort of druidic nature worship as practiced in the British Isles before the coming of the Romans.

Piecing things together, Howie comes to the conclusion that Rowan isn’t missing — she’s scheduled to be sacrificed, burned alive in the Wicker Man, on May Day to ensure a bountiful harvest; and May Day is tomorrow! But can the stuffy, uptight Howie save her…and himself?

To put it bluntly, Brothers and Sisters, this is one of my very few “Perfect Films.”  Everything about this film works for me.  The casting is spot on — Edward Woodward as the stuffy, prudish Christian Howie, Lee as the carefree and jovial Lord Summerisle, Britt Ekland as the sensual, naked, dancing innkeeper’s daughter.  Everyone fits perfectly in their roles.  Costume design is magnificent, set design is glorious, and the music! The music! The music makes this film all the better, readers, with its lilting folk melodies echoing with pagan sentiment.

Before I move on to the next film, I want to leave you with one consideration: Who’s the villain in THE WICKER MAN? The way the story is told leaves the viewer very unsure who to root for. Sergeant Howie is nominally the hero, the British police officer trying to find a young girl who has gone missing. But at the same time, he breaks into buildings, steals film negatives, is generally dislikable and insults and berates the townsfolk for their way of life at every opportunity, a way of life that has, by all accounts, resulted in a fairly idyllic agrarian society under the gentle guidance of the cheerful Lord Summerisle. But at the same time, this idyllic agrarian society conceived and executed a massively complex conspiracy to lure in the appropriate sacrifice. Taking the “Summerisle as Villain” approach results in a fairly straightforward story, but turning it on its head and taking the “Howie as Villain” perspective reminds me of Richard Matheson’s seminal novel I Am Legend. Like Robert Neville, Sergeant Howie is trapped in a world where he is unwelcome, a freakish atavism that no longer has its place.

RAWHEAD REX (1986) — We jump now from a pagan island off the coast of Scotland to the Emerald Isle for this film, written by Clive Barker from a story by Clive Barker, and directed by George Pavlou.  This is actually the film that convinced Clive Barker to get really actively involved in filmmaking, leading to the production of HELLRAISER.

Howard Hallenbeck (David Dukes) is an American in Ireland, photographing churches for a book he’s writing.  In one particular church in a forgotten corner of Eire, he discovers a strange stained glass window, depicting the imprisonment of a hulking demon.  He also encounters a particularly snide verger, Declan O’Brien.  Shortly thereafter, a nearby farmer has a giant, phallic stone monolith removed from his field, resulting in a demon identical to that in the stained glass window erupting from the ground.

This demon, Rawhead Rex, begins his bloody rampage across Ireland — strangely, killing only men.  Women, especially pregnant women, seem to frighten the muscle-bound ogre.  He even eviscerates Hallenbeck’s young son, just moments before Hallenbeck can try to intervene.

It is eventually revealed, through the agency of Verger Declan (who has become a thrall of Rawhead’s, in a truly impressive “baptism by urine” sequence) that this supposed “demon” is something of a forgotten god, having dwelt in Ireland since long before the time of Christ, and his time has come again.  Christian symbolism does nothing to deter Rawhead — because he is the physical embodiment of the Male Principle, of which the Abrahamic God, and by extension Jesus Christ, is a later refinement.  Trying to stop Rawhead with a strongly-brandished crucifix would be like trying to banish Count Orlock by beaning him in the head with a thrown TWILIGHT DVD.

Being pure rampaging testosterone, Rawhead’s one weakness is the Female Principle — he can’t attack pregnant women because he’s terrified of the Almighty Uterus.  But how is Howard Hallenbeck supposed to use that to stop Rawhead’s rampage?

For me, a big part of this film is carried by Ronan Wilmot’s performance as the fanatic, bitter Verger Declan O’Brien.  He gets the best lines of dialogue in the whole film (I’m partial to “Up the stairs, Fuckface.  I don’t want to keep God waiting,” as well as when he screams “FOR YOOOOUUUUUUU! FOR YOOOOUUUUUU!” while setting police cars on fire), he gets half-drowned in Rawhead’s urine, and outside of Rawhead himself, he’s the most memorable character in the film.

Cliver Barker was reportedly largely disappointed at the way his script (and original novella) was toned down for the film, especially in terms of mellowing the sexual, psychological, and religious themes he explored.  In the original story, Rawhead Rex is a giant, enraged penis rampaging through Ireland — an oversized head atop a narrow stem of a body, with a wide slit of a mouth.  That’s how undiluted an embodiment of Male Principle he is.  For the movie, he was transmuted into a Dungeons and Dragons Ogre on steroids.  He even has skull-shaped epaulets.  I want skull-shaped epaulets.  On the other hand, he’s wearing pants, and I just can’t imagine an embodiment of pure masculinity ever being constrained by trousers.  Maybe a kilt, and only for formal occasions, and always free-balling beneath it.  A man’s boys have to breathe, y’know?

THE LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM (1988) — Written and directed by the recently-deceased Ken Russell, adapted from a novel by Bram “Dracula is my only legacy” Stoker, THE LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM is a delirious blend of gothic sensibility, modern sexuality, and trippy, hallucinogenic visuals — in short, an amazingly good time, captured on film.

Angus Flint is a Scottish archaeology student, digging up a plot of land under a bed-and-breakfast in rural England.  He discovers the remains of a pre-Christian temple, and a mysterious, reptilian skull.  That night, at a party thrown by the local Lord, James D’Ampton (Hugh Grant, before he went all RomCom on us), Angus learns the story of the D’Ampton Worm, a serpentine monster reputed to have once terrorized the area, until being slain by Lord John D’Ampton, James’ ancestor.

Meanwhile, not far away, the incredibly sensual Lady Sylvia is stirring.  Learning of the skull, she wants it for herself.  You see, she is the last surviving priestess/coven-member of Dionin, a pre-Christian snake-god that once ruled the area, until its priesthood was slain and temples destroyed by the Roman invaders.  She’s unbelievable, really — every other sentence out of her mouth is innuendo, and she’s something of an ophidian version of a vampire — she has a disturbing tendency to sprout two-inch fangs during sexy-times, even delivering an envenomed bite to a young man’s tallywhacker.  I didn’t cringe as much as I did watching the cock-biting scene in TOKYO GORE POLICE, but it’s close enough.

The skull Angus found is something of a holy relic to the Dionin cult, which Lady Sylvia is restarting.  And most importantly, the reborn serpent god Dionin needs a tasty, tasty virgin sacrifice to regain his old power…and Eve Trent, one of the co-owners of the bed-and-breakfast Angus dug up, is absolutely suitable.  Can Angus (in a kilt, natch) and Lord James crush the power of the White Worm once and for all?

All the uncomfortable sexuality left unspoken in RAWHEAD REX is brought right out in the open in LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM.  From the paralytic blowjob to the S&M fetish gear Lady Sylvia lounges around in to the fact that she puts on a spear-headed strap-on to sacrifice Eve to Dionin…Seriously, the strap-on is one of the most terrifying pieces of fetish gear I’ve ever seen, and I’ve made the rounds on the Internet.

Additionally, every sort of serpent reference possible is crammed into this film — Lady Sylvia and a hitchhiker play “Snakes and Ladders” (the traditional name of Chutes and Ladders), she sucks the venom out of a policeman’s leg after he’s bitten (though she makes a thrall of him in the process), and of course the very fact that a virgin named Eve is being sacrificed to a very phallic serpentine god.  It’s really incredibly thorough in terms of snake references.

Actually, I think what I enjoyed most was the very clear reference to one of my favorite old English legends — that of the Lambton Worm. According to legend (and recounted via incredible rock/techno/morris dancing at Lord James’ party), John Lambton was a dissolute, impious youth, who went fishing on Sunday when he should have been in church. He hooked an ugly little eel-like creature and, not liking the look of it, he threw it down a well. He grew up, went off to fight in the Crusades…meanwhile, the worm grew too, and eventually slithered out of the well and began eating livestock and children. Any attempt to kill it failed as its flesh knitted back together as quickly as it was cut. Returning home from the Crusades, John Lambton realized this was his fault, and sets out to destroy the beast, using specially-designed bladed armor. He fights the Worm in the same river he originally caught it in, and the snaky thing, coiling around him, cuts itself to ribbons and the pieces are carried away by the river before they can reconnect. Unfortunately, the slaying of the worm brings a curse — John must kill the first living being he sees, or his family will be cursed for nine generations to never die at home in their beds. Well, upon returning home, the first living being John sees is his father, whom he will not cut down. And the Lambton family was so cursed for nine generations…or so the story goes, at any rate.

***

There you have it.  Three disparate films, linked by the common theme of pagan survivals lingering to the modern day in the British Isles.  All three of which, I should add, are well worth a watch — THE WICKER MAN perhaps most of all, but all of them are treats in their own special ways.