Our friends at Synapse Films have your best interest in mind, body and… well… in your pants too. Cumming this April… rrrr… I mean coming this April Synapse will be releasing two films that will be fun to watch, horny or not. Before I start sounding like the back pages of your favorite skin mag we introduce DEBAUCHERY and TRUE STORY OF A WOMAN IN JAIL: SEX HELL. The cover art pretty much clues you in that this isn’t family entertainment. True Story of a Woman in Jail: Sex Hell takes us back to the women in prison films of the 70′s (a simpler time). This film is sure to bring you a one liner or two to impress the ladies. Of course if you’re looking through women in prison flicks for pick up lines you probably want to avoid dating for awhile. Debauchery on the other hand focuses on your wildest, outlandish desired made reality. Read below for Synapse’s formal announcement. Make sure to stock up on your lube of choice and buy a fresh set of batteries for your… tooth brush. This ain’t your daddy’s 9 1/2 Weeks even though its from the 1980′s.

TWO NEW THRILLERS IN THE NIKKATSUEROTIC FILMS COLLECTION!

TRUE STORY OF A WOMAN IN JAIL: SEX HELL and DEBAUCHERY

JAPANESE EROTIC DELIGHTS — WITH AN EDGE!

————————————————

AWham! Bam! Thank you, ma’am! double-whammy sexy slammerdouble feature from the masterminds of Nikkatsu!

Due to their juvenile crimes, a group of fresh younggirls is thrown into a horrid, squalid jail. They soonwish they were back on the outside, as a gang of inmates subjects this “fresh meat” to the horrors of being locked up.  Mayumi, a new inmate with a mysterious past, stands up for herselfand fights back!  NO ONE is going to push her around, and she hatches an escape plan to seekrevenge on the person who had her incarcerated.

TRUESTORY OF A WOMAN IN JAIL: SEX HELL is a sleazy, sexually graphic and surprisingly violententry in the “women in prison” genre.  The openinguniform changing, nude medical examination sessions,communal scrubbings in the bathhouse, nimble-fingeredlesbians and vicious catfights are all here… and more!

In DEBAUCHERY,the sexy Ryôko Watanabe stars as Ami, a jaded housewifewho pitches herself, body and soul, into the Tokyodecadence of the decade in an attempt to pep up hermarriage.  She secretly joins the elite “MadameMachiko Society Club” to experiment with discrete sexgames and the thrill of making love to anonymousmen.  The sexual perversion and sick depravity she issubjected to, by her clients, is much more than shebargained for.  Bondage, beads and whips are only thebeginning!  Can she escape this secret life she haschosen, or will it destroy her forever?

Impulse Films proudly presents two historic stunnersfrom the heyday of the violent sex film. Nikkatsu alwaysdelivers. DEBAUCHERYfeatures an original theatrical trailer and both discsinclude liner notes from Japanese film scholar Jasper Sharp.

TRUESTORY OF A WOMAN IN JAIL: SEX HELL (1975)

Disc Info:

Director: Kôyû Ohara Starring: Kozue Hitomi, Seri Kaori,Hiromi Maya Run Time: 72 minutes Release Date: April 10, 2012 Language: Japanese Subtitles: English Aspect Ratio: Anamorphic widescreen(2.35:1) Format: DVD Region: Region 1  Price: $24.95

DEBAUCHERY(1983)

Disc Info:

Director: Hidehiro Ito Starring: Ryoko Watanabe, SerinaNishikawa, Mizuho Nakagawa Run Time: 70 minutes Release Date: April 10, 2012 Language: Japanese Subtitles: English Aspect Ratio: Anamorphic widescreen(1.85:1) Format: DVD Region: Region 1  Price: $24.95

If the headline for this update didn’t catch your attention than the trailer most certainly will. Hailed by the late Ken Russell for its psycho sexual content, Wound promises to titilate you until you scream. The trailer is filled with latex pig masks, blood covered wrestling and spanking (yes… spanking). While I’m sure that all of these fetishes will be taken into a more serious content it is quite difficult to keep from finding the humor in the various style of pig mask. It’s a creepy (sexy?) look that screams must see. Breaking Glass Pictures (you remember Cropsy) gives us another film that’s sure to start a conversation.

From the producers:

Wound breaks all barriers as it explores the dark worlds of mental illness, incest, revenge and death. The film follows Tanya as she searches for Susan, the mother she has never met – a mother who gave her up for dead after Tanya was brutally abused by her own father. Tanya returns from the grave to confront and possess Susan with all her deepest fears and desires, sending her mother into a state of madness and gore filled retribution. A young woman alone attempts to fight the demons that begin to haunt her days and nights — in a series of brutal confrontations with the enemies of the past that want to possess and kill her.

“Wound” has shown nationally and internationally in festivals such as Fantasia FF and Fright Fest London. It has been awarded best female performance for Kate O’Rourke, best director, and best film at “A Night of Horror International Film Festival.  As 2011 came to a close, Wound featured prominently on many horror critics’ “Best Films of the Year” list.

DVD’s are available this mask which gives you plenty of time to figure out which taboos you need to have challenged and whether Wound can challenge them.

We’ll keep our eyes on this one and let you know when we get a change to experience this one.

www.BreakingGlassPictures.com

www.Facebook.com/BreakingGlassPictures

http://www.twitter.com/BreakingGlassPx

I recently heard about an up and coming horror website that plans to feature some great material. Think of it as the MTV of horror only instead of music videos they’ll be showing horror movie shorts by new filmmakers and of their own producing. While sites like this exist already I think this one has promise. The first original film, Bloodbath is clever with a coy play on words to twist your brain.

From the creators:

BloodbathTV.com is intended to be your horror movie fan’s monthly fix where you can watch our latest short film and vote to choose what will appear in the next one. Our first short, Bloodbath, is already online and ballots are opened to visitors to help us choose where our next short will take place.  The results appear on our Facebook page at the end of each deadline and everyone can follow the creative process of our next short through production pics, videos,… well, you get the idea!

We created this site because we love horror in all its form and because we are blessed to work in the movie industry and can produce high quality stuff for very cheap. If things go well we would eventually like to help produce our fans’ ideas and scripts.

So the first thing you should do is stop by the site, enter your age (ooo… doesn’t that make it feel naughty) and watch their first short. Don’t forget to to vote on the second short film that we’ll be making its way to Bloodbath sometime this month. Festival season is upon us, so keep them in mind when your reviewing the entrants in your competition of choice.

Check them out here:BLOODBATH

It’s time to pop the trunk for all you Dead Hooker fans as the Soska Sisters’ seminal debut hits Region 1 DVD courtesy of IFC Midnight. Those overseas may have had the chance to see it already, but now it’s time for the United States to get bloody. America! Fuck Yea!!

To make things even sweeter, the Soskas are asking you on a Date Night tonight, January 31st, 2012. All you need is your new favorite DVD and Twitter. Watch Dead Hooker in a Trunk along with fellow fans and the filmmakers themselves as you can Tweet questions & comments to @Twisted_Twins.

Here’s a quick video to let you anticipate how kick ass this will all be.

Click here to find the Soskas on Twitter. Be sure to follow the Hashtag #DeadHookerInATrunk. Here’s hoping that CJ “Goody Two Shoes” Wallis joins in on the action too.

Keep a black eye peeled on these ladies as they are in the midst of post-production on their highly-anticipated sophomore feature film, American Mary. And if that wasn’t enough, they are also poised to rip open a vein this February with their new Blood Drive PSA to coincide with Women in Horror Month.

If you haven’t already, click here to pick up your copy of DEAD HOOKER IN A TRUNK.

Cold Creepy Feeling from California’s High Voltage is the story of a young couple trying to escape big city living to find a simpler life in the country. What they find is a life simply filled with somebody else’s simple deaths;  in other words, unsettled spirits. While the haunted house has seen a re-emergence in popular cinema in features like the Innkeepers, the Paranormal Activity series and Insidious, Cold Creepy Feeling attempts to bring together the found footgage genre and your typical new house/haunted house story alongside some popular exorcism film tropes. While that’s not an uncommon theme these days our filmmakers have clearly tried to separate themselves from some of the previous genre outings.

Synopsis from the producers:

A young couple, Lisa Younger and Jared Vandenberg, escape the Los Angeles rate race for the quiet life in Joshua Tree, California but paranormal visions and voices quickly turn the house of their dreams into a house of nightmares. They enlist the help of a spiritualist, Alex Damiano, to help exorcise the premises but this only awakens and angers the demonic presence that lurks within. When the town Sherriff, Dennis Woodruff, becomes involved, he discovers that another family mysteriously disappeared 10 years earlier without a trace and he also become entangled in the web of evil horror. (Produced by Keither Kurlander and Dennis Woodruff).

Does the magic combo of super popular ghost story meets, haunted house meets exorcism work for the film? Not completely. While I can appreciate being introduced to the protagonists for an elongated period of time in order to sympathize with them, the change from ordinary couple in a new house story to haunted house story takes an unevenly spaced amount of time to ultimately evolve into the demonic, exorcism, found footage film that Cold Creepy Feeling is trying to be. That does not mean that the movie is without merit or moments of effective “creep out”.  You just have to wait out some fairly uneven audio levels, blurry focus and rocky camera to get to the horror movie you expect to see.

The acting is quite good and the characters do manage to find their way to your heart strings all be it around some dialogue in need of tweaking.  You are absolutely not allowed to use the words, “the power of Christ compels you” if you are trying to make a serious film. It comes off as a joke. If the intent was a joke than the rest of the film must have a hair more comedy. If there’s one thing that films of this genre type seem to find absolutely essential it is the that the actors are believable, at least pleasant to watch and if not pleasant to watch live, hilarious to watch die. I think our protagonists clearly fit that description and allow the viewer to wait for the punchline later in the film.  I believe the finest moment in the film is either the sex scene turned Tarantula encounter at which I actually maintained the heebie jeebies for a minute or two which displays a nice juxtaposition of intimacy vs. terror and avoids the gratuitous jump scare.  This scene may only be  trumped by our leading lady running through the desert in the middle of the night, terrified out of her mind in nothing but underwear and Ugg style boots. I’m not sure that image has ever been as successfully captured as it was in Cold Creepy Feeling. There’s a certain fish-out-of-water quality the actors convey effectively and that carries into the scare sequences which might have fallen flat had it not been for their abilities.

If you’re looking for special effect filled romp than Cold Creep Feeling is not for you. The film uses the found footage style camera work to compensate for lack of special effects and tries to mask some scares with the distortion that might be present in a film of that type i.e. camera movement to hide the scare and night vision to hide the ghost. The entire film suffers from minor technical difficulties in camera placement, focus and audio levels. While these drawbacks do not detract from the picture entirely you become aware of them at key moments and the suspension of disbelief is lost. If the audience can push past this then they’ll enjoy the scare. I would also question some of the selections used in the film score as not as Western as they should be although the creep out sequences seem to have appropriate music.  What I enjoy about Cold Creepy Feeling is that it realizes that it is a film on a budget and tries to play to the directors and actors strengths as well as using some creepy desert scene-scapes to set the mood.

Follow Cold Creepy Feeling here (available on DVD):

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Cold-Creepy-Feeling/131732243522234

http://www.coldcreepyfeeling.com/

Here’s a movie to keep your eyes out for and it’s from one of our own. Mike Dobrzelecki, writer for The Blood Sprayer and independent filmmaker. He’s putting together something you’re sure to find up your retro alleys (synopsis below). Take a gander at the trailer and show some support for big gore films! Wouldn’t it be nice to walk into a film festival and be able to yell out the name Develkok? Yeah, we think so too.

The film is a love letter to 70’s and 80’s exploitation films from filmmaker Mike Dobrzelecki. It celebrates big gore and a cast of the most outlandish gangs this side of The Warriors.

The film is currently in production with a release set for this summer. The film is still raising funds and more info can be found on their Facebook page and production blog.

Synopsis:

His name is Terry Develkok. He’s here to defeat the cities wicked. And He’s here to get the girl.

Terry Develkok is a broken man. Shit job, shit town, and shit life have pushed him to his breaking point. Terry wants to take his own life.

But when his attempts at suicide fail (many times) Terry Develkok discovers that he cannot die. He harnesses his new found power and takes to the streets in an effort to rid his city of the wickedness that is plaguing it.

When none can defeat him separately, gangs from around the globe band together to kill Develkok once and for all. Religious Zealots, Gangstas, White Supremacists and Circus Freaks are just some of the horrors that Terry must defeat in Die, Develkok, Die!

Follow and Support the film at:

Their production blog: deathtodevelkok.tumblr.com

Their Facebook Page: www.facebook.com/develkok

Twitter: @develkok

Youtube/Vimeo: develkok

E-mail:develkok@yahoo.com

My dear, sweet state of Ohio has offered some cool shit to the world.  Don’t believe me, eh?  Well, how’s this for a list:  Devo, Ballreich’s Potato Chips, The Dead Boys, Buckeye Beer, James Van Bebber, Buckeyes (not the tree-the delicious chocolate treat you eat at holiday events!), Jeffrey Dahmer…okay, scratch the last one.  You get the point, though.  Ohio is home to some kick ass stuff (not to mention, it’s the home of many TBS writers).  Our old buddy Andrew Copp is another cool thing to add to that list.

Dayton-based writer/director/actor/producer/renaissance man Andrew Copp has been churning hardcore indie flicks for…well, forever.  Having his hand in so many pots, Copp is the prime example of what the fierce independent spirit looks like in the horror community.  He would be considered a template as to HOW to do it.  Along with folks like Mike Watt, Amy Lynn Best, Chris Seaver, Fred Vogel, Henrique Couto, and Chris LaMartina, he’s been a consistent fixture within said community that keeps me coming back to the low budget circuit.  Known for several beloved cult films (including critically adored “The Mutilation Man”), Copp’s latest project is a clear indication that he doesn’t intend to stop anytime soon.

Church Of The Eyes (slated for a summer/fall completion time) is the next chapter in his saga of potent, aggressive films that always intend for a jugular shot.  Featuring an all-star cast and crew, Church Of The Eyes promises to deliver on the edgy style that Andy’s so well known for.  The Blood Sprayer reached out to Mr. Copp to give us the scoop on what we’re to expect from his latest project. He delivers the raw n’ heavy in his own words:

CHURCH OF THE EYES is another very experimental film in the same vein as my earlier movies THE MUTILATION MAN and BLACK SUN. In fact, this can almost be seen as a third entry in a loose trilogy in some ways. It is about a man who loses the love of his life in a car crash. In the ensuing depression, he sets out on a metaphysical journey to find, and kill, God. So, it is a film about love and loss filtered through the violent and broken imagery of the panic movement that I love so much.

The movie started as a music video project with one man band “Swineburner” aka musician Kevin Jones (based out of Indiana). But as we wove the material together it became a longer, more serious work. It is still primarily built around his music with almost no dialogue, but has now grown to include other music from The Beasting, 156, and some other drone/noise musicians.

The film stars myself in the lead role, Stephanie Michael in the lead female role, Henrique Couto as Jesus, and Tank Thompson as God. Mike Watt and Amy Lynn Best both make cameos, as well as Nikki Verba Sweigart, Jillian Zurawski, Matt & Bryan Brassfield, and Odette Despairr take up important supporting roles.

We have been shooting the film for a year and a half now, using the Canon 7D with Henrique Couto handling the DP duties and Mike King doing second unit DP. This is the first movie I have done that is being shot in full HD and is a new and exciting experience. The footage coming back looks amazing- the best of anything I have ever been involved with, and certainly the most controversial. With any luck, the film will be done shooting in the spring with a summer/fall finish date.

If you’re anything like me (and I know you are-that’s why we’re here!), your itching to see this one in its completed state.  As stated, the film is still in production, BUT you can be assured that when the film starts making the rounds,  you’ll be able to find out all about it here at The Blood Sprayer.  In the meantime, take a look at the teaser trailer below.  For further info involving production on Church Of The Eyes and Copp’s other works, visit www.coppfilms.weebly.com…Enjoy the trailer!

Last we met with illustrator/graphic designer Justin Erickson (read the interview) he and his co-conspirer, Paige Reynolds, had just launched Phantom City Creative. Since then, the duo have rocked out a buttload of horror-inspired art posters for the likes of TwitchFilm, Mondo Tees, Anchor Bay Entertainment and more. Beyond that, Erickson himself has recently stepped into the role of Art Director for Rue Morgue Magazine, a role previously held by Gary “Ghoulish” Pullin for the past 10+ years.

Luckily, Erickson was cool enough to spare a few moments from behind the desk of his new position to give us a feel for what he has in store for the mag this year and how he definitely plans on keeping the illustrative legacy left behind by Pullin intact. His first issue is due out in March.

Thanks for joining us again, Justin. How have things been going over at Phantom City Creative?

Thanks for having me, Rondal! Well, we’ve gotten a lot busier and have worked (and continue to) with some really great people. We’ve been steadily working with more filmmakers to create art for their films, also we’re working with the team behind horror comedy TV show Todd & The Book of Pure Evil on some materials, and more!

Over the course of 2011 you did several collaborations with Mondo Tees/Alamo Drafthouse. How did your relationship with them originate?

While we were doing the Back to the 80s series with Twitchfilm.com, they reached out and wanted to know if I was interested in creating a poster for them (I of course said yes). It’s been a great relationship so far and I hope it continues to be!

More recently, it was announced that you would be stepping in as the new Art Director of Rue Morgue magazine. What did you perceive as the biggest challenge coming in behind Gary Pullin?

The biggest challenge? To maintain the level of graphic quality that Gary built over his tenure at the magazine. [Being] Art Director is no easy-breezy job and he built the look and feel of the mag up over the years with blood, sweat, and more blood. So without compromising the established quality of the magazine, how do I put my own spin on it?

I’ve always joked that I’m an illustrator pretending to be a graphic designer, so the illustrative aspects of the magazine aren’t going anywhere. For me, the two go hand in hand.

In your opinion, where can fans expect the magazine to go from here?

In my opinion the magazine can only get better. It will still take an investigative look at the genre and cover wherever horror might rear its head be it film, art, literature, games and some places you might not expect.

[My favorite part of the magazine] are the features for two reasons: first, as a designer it gives me something to play with conceptually. The approach you take with say a gory zombie film can’t be the same approach you take with a thoughtful slow-burn ghost novel, so it’s fun to use different tools and moods to build up an article’s design around the subject matter. Second, as horror fan because of the variety of material covered. The magazine really takes its title “Horror in Culture & Entertainment” very seriously. You can go from the newest horror flick in theatres, to a look at an underrated author, to a museum that houses death masks in the same issue. It all falls under the banner.

Are there any magazines, in particular, that inspire you?

I try not to take all of my inspiration from other magazines because Rue Morgue would start looking like them, but the magazines I read regularly are Revolver, Royal Flush, HOW, Print, Empire, Juxtapoz and the odd random mag if they cover something I’m interested in.

In our previous interview you told our readers to “Define your goals… And don’t forget to have FUN!” Are you still having fun?

Of course! I’ve been incredibly lucky to land where I am and work with the people that I’m fortunate enough to work with. Like with anything there are good days and bad; you can’t forget your goals and what makes you really happy.

So you’re finally done putting away the Christmas decorations and the hangover from New Year’s Eve has long faded. Now what do you have to look forward to? Well until it’s time to stock up for the Trick ‘r Treaters here’s a slew of upcoming films to watch out for if you’re a fan of weird things that bleed and go bump in the night. It’s just a handful of goodies to whet your appetite as I’m sure there are plenty more on the cinematic menu of 2012.

Let’s dig in, shall we?

Father’s Day

Oh those fine folks over at Troma bring another party jam to the dance floor with their latest opus. Filled with blood and boobs and enough questionable merit to ostracize you from future family functions, you know you can’t wait for it to hit your hometown like a bad tornado.

Check out http://www.thefathersdaymovie.com/ for upcoming screenings and further details.

 The Raid

This Indonesian onslaught of ultra-violence  is martial arts action to the Nth degree. Bloody, gritty, and literally take no prisoners,  this bone-cruncher is set to hit stateside this coming March.

Inbred

From across the pond comes a new tale of terror. Put that on the box art, suckers. When a group of young law-breakers and their custodians clash with “colorful” locals, it turns into a bloodbath for all involved. This is why I mostly stay indoors.

Check out the film’s official website for further details - http://www.inbredmovie.com/

Prometheus

Ridley Scott is back in outer space. Big budget and over the top, sure, but this thing sells itself like margaritas in the Sahara. ‘Nuff said.

Chronicle

Written by Max Landis (son of John Landis) this feature film about a group of friends centers around their new telekinesis  - that’s mind bullets, Kyle. How they get their powers and what happens when they start to abuse them is why you’re gonna go buy a ticket.

Black Forest: Hansel & Gretel and the 420 Witch

Official Synopsis: Siblings, Hansel (Michael Welch) and Gretel (Molly Quinn), battle a witch (Lara Flynn Boyle) who lures teenagers into her suburban home with her special blend of marijuana, before she kills and eats them to maintain her youth and beauty.

So it’s basically witches and weed, but with Molly Quinn, Michael Welch, Lara Flynn Boyle, and Cary Elwes. You’re not stoned, you read that right.

Be sure to check out the film’s official website for more upcoming details - http://www.hg420movie.com/

The Lords of Salem

Rumored to have no CGI, hopefully this film will reunite the polarized masses of Rob Zombie fans. It’s got evil witches, Sid Haig, and plenty of religious goody two-shoes that will hopefully meet the business end of a pitchfork and end their day at the bottom of a cauldron. I for one am holding out hope, because it’s something to look forward to, and we all need that in life. Seriously, come off it. There’s not a funeral every time you smell flowers.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3D

Directed by John Luessenhop, this Leatherface reboot puts the Captains of the SAW franchise at the helm over their Platinum Dunes counterparts. Coming at you October 5th, this next installment stars Bill Moseley, Gunnar Hansen, with a rumored cameo by Tobe Hooper. No news on if Moseley will reprise his iconic Chop-Top role. Love it or hate it, it’s still coming your way. Like the song goes, “If you can’t be with the one you love, honey, love the one you’re with.”

Red Lights

So Travis Bickle stars opposite Ellen Ripley (Bobby D. and The Dream Weaver, respectively) in a film about paranormal fraud investigators and the world’s most powerful psychic. I consider this to be Hawaiian Pizza Cinema; if it’s done right, it could be mighty tasty. If it’s done wrong then who the hell puts fruit on pizza?! I WANT NAMES!!

Cassadaga

Ghosts and vengeful spirits in supposedly one of the most psychically charged places in America garner a raised eyebrow from me. Throw in a serial killer by the name of Gepetto who turns his victims into marionettes, some killer poster art, and I say “muy interesante”. That’s Spanish for “Don’t look at me when I’m diggin’ through the Discount DVD Bin”.

Game of Werewolves

A Spanish Horror-Comedy with Werewolves? Even without subtitles, how can you not dig on this? Seriously, give it a go, order up some authentic Horror rather than that Hollywood tie-in with Taco Bell crap that you know will blow out the O-ring of your attention span.

Detention of the Dead

THE BREAKFAST CLUB meets SHAUN OF THE DEAD? They couldn’t think of a better way to sell this? Anyway, this is just the type of flick you’ll force your kid sister to watch one beer addled weekend when everyone else is too busy to hang out. Maybe you need better taste in movies or a hotter sister, your call.

Learn more from the film’s official website - http://detentionofthedead.com .

I hope you find something of interest, something to tickle your fancy. This restraining order prohibits me from tickling your fancy any further.

You know what Scott Spiegel? I love Evil Dead II! It’s my favorite in the series. And while we’re talking about your previous endeavors let me just say that I thought Intruder was hilarious. I’m not sure I’d give it the super duper rub down treatment that some folks bestow upon it, but it’s good. Real good. Hostel III… well I think it’s a step in the right direction despite having a couple minor flaws. Let’s discuss.

 Synopsis (from the IMDB… which makes me lazy):

While attending a bachelor party inLas Vegas, four friends are enticed by two sexy escorts to join them at a private party way off the Strip. Once there, they are horrified to find themselves the subjects of a perverse game of torture, where members of the Elite Hunting Club are hosting the most sadistic show in town.

Well that’s a step away from the original ain’t it? No more youth hostel in Eastern Europeto visit. The ridiculous torture porn esque kills happen in your own backyard or inAmerica’s adult playground at least. It works. Where else on Earth would you imagine the depraved, alpha dog group of Elite Hunters to show up. Vegas would be my guess. Maybe New Orleansif we needed a second place answer. I’d also go for Alaska because who knows what the fuck happens inAlaskaduring the winter.

As you’ve most likely heard and I would at least partly agree with, this movie is like the Hangover Jr. I’m not entirely sure that there’s intent to capture that movie’s fire anymore than it is the design of the Spiegel to capture the essence of the first two films. A bachelor party is an excellent jumping off point and gives way to the debauched in the only way our American, Puritanical culture allows. I don’t fault this film for taking a common reason for traveling to Vegas and turning the whole thing TP. At least they didn’t have shotty cameos of the actors from The Hangover or scene for scene rip offs. Once you’ve put our four horsemen in Vegas under the bachelor party banner and digs in you lose the “three best friends” vibe right quick.

Previous installments have seen some fairly talented actors go up against the Elite Hunting Club both in acting ability and body sculpting. While I’ll say that Kip Pardue, Brian Hallisay and John Hensley due not live up to their predecessors acting ability, they aren’t a step off the deep end either. This film is less dark than the previous entries, Vegas more fun, and as I’ll mention shortly, the gore has been toned down. Why make this film feel a little more fun. A little more, Vegas. You never expect Oscar nominated performances from this brand of film anyway. At least it isn’t a Saved By the Bell class reunion.

Watching a Hostel film or any other T.P. (that’s the torture porn… and I love that label if for completely differing reasons that the media and critiques love to use it) film means that you expect something. From the Hostel series it means you expect someone to be placed into a room, worked over with extreme gory prejudice usually preempted by gratuitous female nudity and then ending with the near triumph of the protagonist. Hostel III delivers this formula with its fun Vegas/game twist. It’s enough of a deviation from the original film and sequel to warrant having been made, and it takes the series in a new direction. The term “hostel” may be abused slightly, but since the Elite Hunting Club has become a name brand killer not unlike Fred Kruger, Voorhees or Jigsaw we can let the name slide.

The question on everyone’s mind is did Hostel III deliver the gross out of the previous two entries? No. It was tame in comparison. The suspense leading up to the kills was lacking and someone forgot to eat their brain food. The creativity was lacking. The gore was amateurish with moments of playfulness. You could blame that on the fact that it’s the third installment in the series and can lack on the novelty, but that’s a cop out. Expect more from your gore folks! I’d like to see a Hostel IV with a new twist and more of a face given to the hierarchy for the EHC, but filmmakers take note… you must, you must, you must increase you guts!

Side note(S):

-Nice variation on the Elite Hunting Club tattoo.

-I adore the Elite Hunting cocktail waitress uniform. It’s ever so Night Porter.

-Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches aren’t scary. I touched one. That’s how I know. No more Mummy rip off effects, okay guys?

It’s not my favorite installment in the series, but it moves the series forward. You might find a few former Hostel haters find this film more easily accessible. The series definitely needs fans to keep it moving. We got friggin’ seven Saw movies and only three Hostels? We need to get a few more on the books. Eli Roth did such a nice job the least we can do is try to honor his intriguing creation. Hell, get Roth back in for a Final Chapter if it puts the asses in the seats. Hostel vs. Saw? There’s a crossover to consider.  Until next time, happy elite hunting.

The Exterminator has been released on Blu Ray/DVD combo. I’m not sure you call this one a horror picture though. I think you call this one an action packed, thriller/revenge film. A little bit higher brow than exploitation.  I think you might also consider calling it historical fiction. James Glickenhaus probably didn’t set out to paint a portrait of the life and times of your average girl on the fringe or working man just trying to get by, but you might as well call him the Norman Rockwell of the underground.

Those of us born at a certain time only know New York Cityand Times Square as a squeaky cleanMeccaof commerce, media fanfare and designated walking areas. I would say this would make us late. Late for what? Late for the seedy underbelly that gave films of the early 80’s and late 70’s a truly creepy look. We are late for smut and rampant prostitution. We are late for crime waves, black outs, looting, rioting, depravity. We’re late to the shit show. We’re late to a time when films like The Exterminator were not simply action/revenge films. They were tales of the modern day Superman with a shotgun.

Synopsis (napsis):

The Exterminator, James Glickenhaus’ explosive story of Vietnam vet John Eastland (Ginty), a man who launches a bloody vendetta against the New York underworld when his best friend is brutally beaten by a vicious street gang. Eastland becomes a vigilante hero to the public, but to police The Exterminator is a psychopath capable of dangerously undermining an entire government administration.

 My sincerest hope is that after watching this movie you go out and fight some local crime. I would imagine that this is how Batman really happened (you know… in the really real world). We have a vigilante who knows how to make kills fun. There’s nothing like a metal shredder to make a man speak his mind. There’s nothing like lighting people on fire out of anger. Beyond the violence it’s a heartwarming tale of friendship. What would you do for your best friend? A man who saved your life? Would you revise your moral code? Would you kill!?

The Exterminator gave me that Taxi Driver thrill. You can feel little pieces of underdone Scorsese in every seedy morsel. That being said, the Blu Ray and DVD transfers are superb. Crystalclear, hi definition and captivating audio. I literally got chills from some of the audio tweaks. One thing that I despise about transfers like these is that you lose some of that warmth. The same type of warmth a record collector understands but the CD aficionado never can. To someone who had never seen the film, but is familiar with the trailer and quality of the initial footage, this was a let down. There’s not much you can do about that though save going out and finding a film screening.

For all the hype about this coming out on Blu Ray/DVD combo the least that Synapse could have done was to put a few extra special features. A couple trailers and TV spots does not a full on release make. It should not deter you from picking this up but you can consider this my complaint, full lodged. I’m not going to lie though. TV spots and movie trailers with that deep, raunchy, gritty voice over make me pose in the mirror pretending to be the vigilante for hours.

 Take time out of your day to revisit this classic glimpse at New York. Hell, buy a soldering gun and dip it in some Vaseline if it makes you feel frisky. Just remember: No spitting on the floors.

Dearest Readers of The Blood Sprayer:

I’m coming to you pretty well humbled.  I haven’t been completely “here” lately and your loyalty has suffered the wrath.  I feel terrible for the amount of neglect that has gone on pertaining to the website, and more importantly, that you have probably been disappointed.  Some things have occurred  that I want to fill you in on.  Not as excuses, but as an explanation.

I obviously don’t live off of this website.  Hell, I don’t make a dime off of it period.  It’s more of a “break even” sort of thing.  So, naturally I work a day job…and I work a lot.  In fact, I’ve worked so much over the last few months, that I didn’t notice that some things on this website were majorly malfunctioning.

As a lot of you may have noticed, or knew personally, The Blood Sprayer has had a lot of writers who have come and gone.  Some spoke of being interested then never contributed a single article.  Others not only joined the site, but contributed some of the most compelling articles to be featured in this website’s brief history.  At some point over the past few months, some technical errors occurred within the inner workings of this website.  As a result, several of the accounts of individuals who’ve written for this site were either deleted or messed up in some way.  This resulted in articles being accredited to other writers, namely myself and few others.  The odd part about it?  No one deleted these accounts manually and to further complicate this, the articles attributed to me are not at all my account on this site.  If you look at certain articles that are attributed to “Wes Allen”, you’ll notice that there’s not avatar photo.  There’s a reason for that-it’s not a real account on this site.  Yes, that is my name, but my account is NOT my full name.  It’s only under the name “Wes”.  I’m not going to fool you into thinking that I have ANY clue as to how these things have happened.  I wouldn’t have known of this error were it not for the fact that a former staff member, and one of the reasons this site has even had such brilliant writers, Kristy Jett pointed this out to me.  When this was all brought to my attention, I was in the midst of a very heavy work time.  Plus, it was right around Christmas and I was simply unable to dig into the issue very hard.  When I did finally get the opportunity to dig into the malfunctions, it seemed as if it would be an easy fix…this was not the case at all.  Since then, I’ve been teaming with my human computer and we’re trying to get this issue solved.  In doing so, the end result will be that the writers who actually wrote these articles will be accredited with their work, rightfully so.

While I know that you as the reader aren’t personally affected by this, I am.  My negligence to this website has not only resulted in these technical errors taking place, it has resulted in people that I respect being hurt.  Every person that writes or has written for this website is doing so pro-bono.  There isn’t money to be made in writing these articles that they write for us, but they do so anyway.  It’s obviously a love/passion-driven thing and we the audience reap all the benefits of their labor.  This “glitch” has taken credit away from some hard work carried out by some excellent writers.  No, I didn’t cause these errors personally, but my lack of attention to The Blood Sprayer’s guts caused people to be hurt.  I screwed up.  I should have spotted this stuff immediately.  It most likely has damaged my friendships with these people and could very well result in them losing all respect for me.  While I don’t go through life aiming to please people, I certainly haven’t set out to deliberately hurt/disappoint them either.  So, with all of that in mind, I want to take the time to apologize to some of those folks.  It doesn’t fix what has happened and doesn’t change what the website is currently accrediting some of its articles to.  It does let me give them this bit of credit while we’re trying to reverse the errors that occurred and give the credit BACK to the actual writers of those articles.

The first few folks I want mention are Shawn Savage, Jeff Konopka, and Ted Brown.  Not only are these guys great writers, they are passionate dudes.  Shawn and Ted run the well known horror site, The Liberal Dead (www.liberaldead.com) and were nice enough to offer their services to us for a time.  Jeff Konopka had his own blog and did our podcast, which he’s since taken over to The Liberal Dead as he’s joined their team full time.  The time and knowledge these fellas contributed is invaluable to me.  They’re all talented guys and I hold The Liberal Dead site in the highest regard.  I’m truly sorry to you guys for this mix up.

The next few people are Hannah Neurotica, Jayson Kennedy, and Brian Solomon.  Brian Solomon left the site quite a while ago, but I’m certain a lot of you are familiar with his work in other places.  He’s written for everyone from WWE magazine to his own site www.thevaultofhorror.net.  While he hasn’t been around for some time, it doesn’t make his contributions any less credible.  The same would go for Jayson Kennedy, who’s work at www.ghoulbasement.com and horrortalk.com is already familiar to you.  Not to mention his knowledge of genre film and home video technology is goddamned staggering.  I’ve literally NEVER encountered an individual who’s as well-versed in those areas as he is.  He wrote some fascinating articles on the subject.  Hannah Neurotica probably doesn’t need an introduction.  I don’t have enough space to list all the things she does for not only horror, but for gender equality within the genre.  She’s one of brains behind Women In Horror Recognition Month and of course, Ax Wound Magazine.  I offer my sincerest apologies to these individuals as well while we work this mess out.

Finally, I need to apologize to Kristy Jett.  Kristy and I have had a complex relationship throughout the history of The Blood Sprayer.  We haven’t always agreed on one another’s methods but it doesn’t change the fact that I respect Kristy for her sheer tenacity.  I don’t have to agree with how an individual handles everything to plainly see that their passion and conviction make them an incredible individual.  We’re it not for Kristy’s involvement with The Blood Sprayer, I literally wouldn’t know 90% of the people that have passed through this site.  When I started up The Blood Sprayer, I didn’t know where to start other than I thought it would be cool to have a site rapping about the type of horror and exploitation films I dug.  I have to be completely honest:  Not only did I not know of any of these horror blogs that were out there, I didn’t even read blogs!  I still don’t!  I only read a few blogs pertaining to my beloved Baltimore Orioles.  Kristy opened my eyes to a world of mercenary writers who’s passion drove their writing efforts-not a paycheck.  Were it not for her, I wouldn’t know these beautiful people existed.

Kristy also contributed to some of the most popular articles in this site’s existence.  She was the person tearing the roof off of the Camp Blood fiasco, as well as, the brains (and more importantly, HEART) behind Dan O’ Bannon Week.  She was an invaluable asset to what this site became.  Without her, I could not have gotten off the ground.  I’ve never truly given her the credit she was long due for her part in this site, but I can tell you this with all certainty:  Kristy Jett’s undying love for horror was poured into her contributions to this site and that’s a major factor to its success (however one may define that word).  That undying love is her motivating  factor.  She works at Fright Rags, she’s why Popcorn is getting a long overdue DVD/Blu-Ray release, and she writes for numerous horror sites and publications.  This woman is a lifer!  Horror is ingrained into the fiber of her being and that passion shines through in everything she does.  Like I stated earlier, I may not always agree with her methods in doing things, but make no mistake about it:  She’s a hard working, driven, individual who’s success has been earned.  No one’s handed anything to her…she went out and made it happen.  That’s why I’m making this apology to her as well.  Kristy helped me do things that I couldn’t have done for myself at the time.  If I’ve never said it to her, I’ll say it right now:  Kristy Jett, I’m envious of your drive.  You helped me without ever needing to and I didn’t ever thank you properly for that.  In the same breath, I want to apologize also, about the issues going on internally.  This doesn’t do enough, but it’s my way of apologizing while we fix these problems.

Now onto you, the reader.  Look guys-I’m human.  I admit that I often bite off more than I can chew, and instead of owning up to the fact that I may need some help, I just say “fuck it”.  That’s not an answer to any problem.  I wanted to start this site because I love horror and exploitation film.  It was an escape growing up and is a love affair now.  I hoped that people would check it out and enjoy it.  You’ve done that tenfold.  I get some rad emails from regular readers giving suggestions of things they’d love to see us cover.  Each time they make a point to say how much they love The Blood Sprayer.  I can’t even BEGIN to tell you how much that means to me!  The horror community is a fascinating and weird one, but it’s also a loving one.  You will go unjudged here.  Not many sectors of geek culture can claim that openness.  I won’t tell you guys that I’m never going to fuck up  again.  I can’t.  It’s an unreasonable commitment to make.  But I can tell you that I’m going to do everything in my power to get this site back to the standard I held for myself from day one.  It was a passion project from the start and I intend on it getting back there.  Who knows?  By the end of this, everyone else may say “The hell with this guy! I’m outta here” and leave the site.  Maybe I’ll be the only one left.  If that is the case, I’ll do everything in my power to give you  guys the best I can.  There are still several incredible writers contributing (Zach Shildwachter, Bill Adcock, Jimmy Terror, Matt Pocock, Mahlon Orrin, Brittney-Jade Colangelo, and Mike Dobrzelecki to name a few!) and everyday I feel blessed to be in their presence.  They have an insane amount of knowledge that I could never dream of having, as well as talent to spare.  In short, they’re all brilliant.  But then again, so is every writer that’s ever bothered to write for us.  I’m a blessed human being to have been given the opportunity to work amongst these folks.  It’s an embarrassment for me to have had this technical bullshit go down, but it’s also been an awesome chance to acknowledge some of the excellence this site has had the privilege of knowing.

I want to wrap this up, but I want to finish by saying this:  Thank you.  Thank you to everyone who’s ever visited The Blood Sprayer, who’s ever commented on an article, taken part in a contest, emailed me to say “hey” or “fuck you”…Thank you.  You don’t know us personally, yet you support what we do.  That’s an overwhelmingly beautiful thing.  I’m sorry I (personally) have not given you the quality you deserve.  It’s unfair to you as you are the people who keep this site vital.  At the day’s end, I’m in the same boat as all of you.  I’m working to provide for my family (gladly too!) and do this as an expression of my love for horror films.  That’s all that it’s really about.  I love horror and exploitation, just like all of you.   I could have done irreparable damage to my own credibility (then again, I probably don’t have any credibility! HA!) already and may have put the death nail in my coffin with this, but it needed to be said.  Everyone ever involved in this site kicks ass and I’m sorry for dropping the ball on many occasions with you all.  You’re incredible people who I owe a giant debt of gratitude to.  Thank you for your work, and to the readers-thank you for loyalty. I’m aiming to give you the best I can with (hopefully) fewer mistakes from now on.  It’s not always going to be material talking about the latest, hottest thing but it will be honest and passionate.  That’s something we can guarantee you at The Blood Sprayer.  I hope all of you can forgive me over time for the errors I’ve committed and know that I want to give you the best I can, since I already KNOW that the other folks who contribute to this site DO give you their best.  Once again, I apologize for the mishaps, to those they’ve affected and to the readers-thank you for your continued support.  If you trust that I will make improvements on my end, then I guarantee that I will continue to unintelligibly   rant about the greatness of Lucio Fulci.

My sincerest regards,

Wes

Tired of crappy reality shows and dancing high school students? Craving some of the warm fuzzy feelings you got every Wednesday night when American Horror Story was on? Then get ready for three new shows and one returning show hoping to fill our winters with a little fright.

First up is the American debut of British series The Fades. The Fades are ghost-like creatures that did not ascend into heaven after dying.  After time, some of them have become vengeful towards humans.  There are also a select few humans called Angelic’s who can see the fades, and are trying to stop them from destroying the human race.  The series follows Paul, a high school student who is learning that he can see the fades, and in turn is thrown into the middle of the battle. I’ve seen the first episode and I found it to be a  well made program with some decent effects and a nice dash of humor mixed in.  The Fades premiered Saturday night on BBC America, but the pilot episode is replaying throughout the week before new episodes air every Saturday night.  Like most British shows it’s short and sweet (only six episodes) so catch it while you can.

Tonight on the Syfy Channel is “Powerful Mondays” starting off at 9pm with the season two debut of Being Human.  Being Human follows a werewolf, vampire, and a ghost who all live together and try to help each other try to deal with there impulses and live a normal life.  Honestly I am not very familiar with this show, and am only catching a season one marathon today to give it a fair shot, but what I’ve seen so far isn’t too bad (though a bit soap opera-ish at times).

Immediately following Being Human is the American debut of the Canadian series Lost Girl.  Lost Girl is about a young girl named Bo who grew up in an adopted human family only to find out after accidentally killing her boyfriend that she is a succubus.  After finding this out, she leaves to live life out on her own, only to find out that there is a war going on between the forces of light and dark, and she needs to pick a side.  Lost Girl has already aired for two seasons in Canada, and Syfy has the rights to all episodes so this one may be around for a little while.  Catch the premiere tonight at 10pm.

Finally, ABC is mere weeks away from premiering The River from Oren Peli (Paranormal Activity).  The River is about a group of people who venture to the Amazon in search of a missing explorer (sounds a lot like Cannibal Holocaust).  The River is set to air for eight episodes starting with the premiere Tuesday February 7th at 9pm.

Along with these new programs we have the return of The Walking Dead on February 12th along with continuing new episodes of Grimm, Fringe, Supernatural, and The Vampire Diaries to give us a plethora of horror options.  On the nonfiction side of the horror genre the Syfy Channel has their Wednesday night doubleheader of new episodes of Ghost Hunters (the paranormal favorite) and Face Off (the make up effects competition).  It’s a good time to cuddle up on the couch, dim the lights, and hope to get scared!

I grew up in an age of Mom & Pop Video Shops. I witnessed the battle between VHS and Beta. I’ve cried over the loss of drive-in movie theaters. I remember the fledgling first steps of HBO. I saw the rise and fall of the Laser Disc. The sound of a dial-up modem makes me cringe as hard as the first time I heard it. I have scoffed at those that said Netflix was a “fad”.  And now I live in an age where kids don’t have to wake up at 5am on Saturday morning for their cartoons – they have a whole of them 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Anyone with an Internet connection can jump a bit torrent and download more movies than I’ve ever seen. Now factor in that there’s really no age limit. Gone are the boundaries set by parents and the MPAA. The Video Nasties are only a click away, and so is hardcore … whatever.

In an age of ever changing technology it is the youth that will embrace it the quickest and learn to manipulate it the quickest as well. They’re not curing cancer or launching rockets, they’re going after entertainment. So I pose this question to parents and adults: How much is too much? Blood, sex, gore, violence. These are the things you see more and more in just the news, let alone on the silver screen. Realistically there is no way to put a lid on the access to content with today’s youth. It can be policed and regulated to various degrees, but they’re younger, faster, smarter, and they get bored quicker too. So I suggest we try one thing we as a society should have done far earlier; listen.

I would like to introduce my nephew Seth. He is going to be 13 in 2012. He likes anime, pizza, and reading. I asked him to give his opinion on the films he sees and to develop his own voice through writing while improving those same writing skills. I try to be as positive as an influence as I can be for my nephew, a role model even. I try to introduce him to classic cinema as well as low brow genre film fare. I try to look after him with care, but sometimes you gotta (insert bumper sticker slogan about raising children here).

I hope Seth’s work will offer a look into a small fraction of today’s America and entertainment. I hope he has fun sharing. I hope you enjoy it.

- Zach S.

 So, my first review is on the Japanese flick Meatball Machine.  It was kind of weird and it had its moments that made me go “what-the-f***-is-going-on”. I don’t know Japanese and now I’m reading sub-titles for 90 minutes. Much of this film reminded of other home-made horror like Cloverfield, The Blair Witch Project, and the Paranormal Activity Trilogy. It’s the grittiness and feel of a hand-held camera that seem to try and suck in the audience.

     The directors Yudai Yamaguchi and Jun`ichi Yamamoto did a very good job directing. The actors did a very good job with the main characters. The story was one of those movies where you have to pay attention to like 2012 to know what is going on. The action sometimes gets in way of the story and the other way around too.

     The visual effects were so good. The parasites that turned the characters into machine things look like fleshy talking arrow heads. The weapons they turn the people into were so weird looking. The rubber body suits must be unbelievably uncomfortable; it must be irritating to hear your skin rub up against latex rubber.

                  The plot to Meatball Machine is these aliens come to our planet either from the depths of the oceans or falling from the sky and they need our bodies to fight each other. Factory worker Yogi (Issei Takahashi) goes on his lunch break and notices pretty Sachiko (Aboda Kawai) who he wants to talk to but his stuck up co-workers come and rain on his parade. Later that night Yogi encounters one of the aliens, hurt and laying lifeless. Not knowing what it is, he brings it home with him and puts it in the closet. The alien in the closet thanks to Captain Dumb @$$ attacks Sachiko and turns her into one of those badass machines. I’m just going to sum up the rest of this. (SPOILERS)  Yogi becomes a machine, well sorta half of one, and has a fight to the death with Sachiko. Yogi grows a big chest cannon and kills Sachiko and realizes he can’t be without the girl who he fell in love with who is also someone he just met.

                If you can get past its silliness and over the top moments of gore and transformation, Meatball Machine is actually pretty good. The directing, lighting, effects, visual effects, and acting, it’s actually a flick worth watching. So, on the official Seth movie/flick scale I give it a 7.5/10.  

Stay tuned for my next review coming soon.

Greetings, readers.  I don’t know about you, but I love 1980s-era cheesy Sword and Sorcery movies.  Hell, I love Sword and Sorcery as a genre in general — literature (Robert E. Howard’s Conan, Leiber’s Fafhrd and Grey Mouser, Moorcock’s Elric), art (Frazetta especially; Boris Vallejo never did that much for me), music (Domine, Manowar) and especially film.  I consider John Milius’ 1982 film CONAN THE BARBARIAN, starring Arnold Schwarzeneggar and James Earl Jones, to be one of the most perfect films ever made.  Perfectly written, beautifully shot, and the soundtrack by Basil Pouledouris gives me an erection.

In the wake of CONAN THE BARBARIAN’s success, a wide variety of lower budget films were made, featuring bare-chested musclemen, swords hammered out of car bumpers in Pakistan, and women will to dance around wearing nothing but a thin sheen of baby oil.  In short, these are some of the most fun movies out there.  For the purpose of this article, I’ll be looking at some of the creme de la creme of these films, the Argentian-filmed DEATHSTALKER franchise.

DEATHSTALKER (1983): Meet Deathstalker (Richard Hill), an amoral barbarian swordsman.  How amoral? Upon meeting a deposed king in the woods, Deathstalker eats the down-on-his-luck aristocrat’s dog.  The king wishes to hire Deathstalker to save his daughter, the Princess Codille, from the clutches of the evil wizard Lord Munkar.  But since the king has no gold, and won’t let Deathstalker take Codille’s virginity as payment, Deathstalker declines.

Unfortunately, Deathstalker is forced into a quest against Lord Munkar, sent out by a witch to seek the Three Powers of Creation — the Amulet, Chalice, and Sword.  Munkar has the Amulet and Chalice, and soon, Deathstalker has the Sword and some traveling companions, including the busty and bare-chested lady thief Kaira (Lana Clarkson).  Deathstalker enters a tournament Munkar is hosting, with the prize being Codille’s sweet, sweet honeypot.  Deathstalker comes out on top in the tourney after a brutal battle with a pig-man, but does he have what it takes to defeat Munkar?

Richard Hill is fun as Deathstalker, though his purpose is largely to look muscular and swing swords at people, then grab the naked girl and enjoy himself — pretty standard archetypal male power fantasy.  One of his opponents is played by Richard Brooker, who played Jason in FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 3, and Princess Codille is played by Barbi Benton, one-time girlfriend of Hugh Hefner.  Additionally, I think Lord Munkar may have played a bigger role in the creation of the modern evil wizard stereotype than either Thulsa Doom in CONAN or Saruman in THE LORD OF THE RINGS trilogy — he’s pasty-faced, bald, clad in dark robes and has a big facial tattoo and a goatee.

DEATHSTALKER II (1987): Deathstalker this time around is played by John Terlesky, while Jim Wynorski takes over the directorial seat.  I love Wynorski’s work, so this always bodes well for me.  The film opens on Deathstalker intervening to save a young woman, Reena the Seeress (Monique Gabrielle, Penthouse Pet and actress) from being gang-raped by guardsmen.  Reena turns out to be the recently-deposed Princess Evie, who asks Deathstalker to help her regain her throne from the evil wizard (Deathstalker: “Is there any other kind?”) Jarek and his assistant the Sultana.

The quest to Evie/Jarek’s castle takes them through encounters with bandits, zombies, and a nation of Amazon Warrior Women.  Captured by the last of these, Deathstalker is put on trial for his crimes against womanhood, forced to fight Gorgo the Champion (Dee “Queen Kong” Booher, a wrestling/roller derby sensation) for the right to survive.  Evie is recaptured by Jarek and sentenced to torture-with-lesbian-overtones by the Sultana.  The Amazons show up to help Deathstalker, who duels Jarek to the death.  Evie restored to the throne, a new alliance forged with the Amazons, Deathstalker is in for all the sweet, sweet Princess Evie-Lovin’ he can handle.

This is the pinnacle of the franchise as far as I’m concerned.  Wynorski has turned Deathstalker into a wise-cracking ass-kicker and cranked the Fun dial up to 11 with this film.  The gore and nudity is slightly reduced from the first film.  Another high point of the film is Monique Gabrielle, here given the opportunity to exercise her comedic talents as well as her buoyant pleasure zeppelins.  I wish she got more roles like this — she can pull faces that put Jim Carrey in his prime to shame.  “Deathstalker? Is that your first name, or your last name?”

DEATHSTALKER III: THE WARRIORS FROM HELL (1989): This time around, Deathstalker is played by John Allan Nelson.  We find him in a small village, giving fighting demonstrations for a few coins.  He’s been traveling from village to village doing this with his friend Nicias, a wizard whose life he’d saved.  Enter Princess Clarissa, who has a fist-sized jewel with magical ability.  She reveals that the gem is one of the Keys to Erendor, a city of magical treasure.  The other Keys are in the hands of the dread wizard Troxartes.  Soon Clarissa is dead, and intrigued by the idea of a city of treasure (and killing evil wizards),  Deathstalker is pursuing Troxartes for the Keys.  Troxartes’ response is the resurrect an unstoppable army of the dead — composed of the corpses of everyone Deathstalker has ever killed.

After DEATHSTALKER II, DEATHSTALKER III is a bit of a disappointment.  Gore is minimal, there’s barely any exposed breasts, and most distressingly, there is a complete lack of Pig-Man warriors.  The story is just kind of blah, it’s not as fun — I mean, don’t get me wrong, it is still fun, but after the ridiculous antics of DEATHSTALKER II, it just doesn’t feel like as much fun.  To top it all off, the “army of the dead” is just a bunch of guys smeared with some gray paint and dirt.  Blah.

DEATHSTALKER IV: MATCH OF TITANS (1990): Richard Hill returns to reprise the role of Deathstalker, in the only entry not filmed in Argentina, but rather, Bulgaria. We find Deathstalker using his trusty sword to protect a young woman whose caravan has been besieged and slaughtered by cat-people. The girl rescued, Deathstalker returns her to her village, where he was going anyways to find an old friend, Aldilar, who has Deathstalker’s Sword. Y’know, capital-S Sword. The magic one. Aldilar’s not there, and the girl’s father tells Deathstalker a tale. The area is under the control of an evil woman named Kana who has kidnapped all the strongest warriors for nefarious purposes. Adventuring a little further afield, Deathstalker runs into a band of warriors who are training for the honor to compete in a special tournament. The leader of these warriors is Vaniat, a surprisingly straight-edge barbarian who doesn’t drink, smoke, eat mutton, rape women, or even have consensual sex. So…how is he a barbarian, exactly?

The tournament is largely made of stock footage from the tournament in the first DEATHSTALKER, including a fantastic fight where a giant guy with a giant hammer smashes a little guy into slush. Where the original tournament was pretty strictly male (aside from the nude female mud wrestlers), this tournament is a little more co-ed, with women warriors fighting each other. Deathstalker gets suspicious, however, between Kana’s talk of wanting his “power” and the fact that some of the contestants are disappearing without a trace. Before too much investigation can be done, he’s pitted against Vaniat, which goes pretty much as one would expect, with Deathstalker defeating but sparing his opponent, all while ripping off a snippet of dialogue from THE PRINCESS BRIDE.

It is soon discovered that the wine that’s been flowing “like a waterfall” throughout the tourney to be poisoned, and Deathstalker finds a use for the straight-edge Vaniat, asking him to “seduce” Kana in order to find the antidote. Before he can manage that, however, Deathstalker makes two discoveries: One, that Kana has his Sword. Two, that the poisoned wine turns those it “kills” into living stone statues, stronger and tougher than mortal men. Kana is building an army for world conquest.

Basically a re-iteration of the original DEATHSTALKER, the stone men being little different from the undead of DEATHSTALKER III…this film, I think, is strictly for DEATHSTALKER completists.

***

And there you have it.  The DEATHSTALKER franchise, in a nutshell.

Sometimes the simplest approach to making a movie tends to be the best, especially when making low budget films. Rage is a perfect example of less being more, and in return you get a very entertaining thriller well worth your 90 minutes.

The plot for Rage is a basic setup.  Dennis Twist is a suburbanite who has something very important to do today, he has to break off an affair that he’s been hiding from his loving wife.  On the way to meet the other woman, Dennis has a confrontation over a parking space with a motorcyclist.  He shrugs it off as no big deal and finishes what he traveled into town to do.  After leaving his now ex crying in the park, Dennis once again notices the motorcyclist following him.  After stopping at a red light, the motorcyclist shows he’s not just slightly annoyed as he scratches Dennis’s car all up with a knife.  From there he continues to torture poor Dennis all over town until he can finally get back home, where the mysterious motorcyclist is once again waiting for him.

Rage definitely wasn’t an original story, but it is one that I always get roped into.  Duel (which is mentioned during Rage so was an obvious inspiration), The Car, The Hearse, and Jeepers Creepers to name a few other mysterious driver movies I tend to sit down and watch whenever I see them on.  There is something about being chased by an unknown person or vehicle that has always intrigued me, and Rage was no different.  On the plus side, Rage was done much better than some of the aformentioned films due to not overdoing it with a crazy twist or supernatural spin.

The other worry about a movie like this is that the protagonist has to carry the movie or else it will fall flat on its face.  Rick Crawford who played Dennis does a great job going from a cocky cheating husband to a frightened shell of a man as he is tormented throughout the movie.  The antagonist is a typical faceless killer with little to no known motivation, but that’s always been my favorite and what makes slasher movies so much fun to watch.

The only negative to Rage is the final act things go a tad to far.  I’m not saying the ending wasn’t satisfying as things get really violent and raw, but the killer shouldn’t have turned his attention away from Dennis as much as he did.  But it’s always nice to add a little body count to a horror movie so I can’t complain too much.

As far as I can tell this is only writer/director Christopher R. Witherspoon’s second film, but what a film it is!  I hope to see more from him in the future, and hopefully with better distribution and coverage.  Unfortunately I can find very little about this movie online, and am yet to see any distributor releasing the movie.  It would be a shame to not get this movie out for more people to see, because it’s a really fun flick!

RAGE from Christopher Witherspoon on Vimeo.

Rarely at the Blood Sprayer do I have the opportunity to review a movie with a Guinness World Record, but Joe Castro’s latest The Summer of Massacre holds just that distinction. He didn’t just go for any typical world record, but one us horror fanatics can get behind 100%, and that is “most onscreen kills!”  Massacre is an anthology film with five different chapters covering eight different killers, so lets break them down one at a time.

Chapter One:  Rampage   The first story is about a man named Chris who heads out for a late night jog, only to be jumped by a gang of thugs who leave him for dead on the side of the road.  He is found the next morning by  a woman who tries to help Chris, but all he see’s is red and he snaps and kills the woman.  From there Chris walks around town seeking revenge on anyone and everyone that he see’s until he finally finds the guilty party.  No plot and a crazy number of kills make this particular story a plethora of violence, however there is no substance to this chapter at all.

Chapter Two:  Lump  Lori (Nick Principe in a slightly different role than playing Chromeskull in the Laid to Rest movies) is a terminally ill hermaphrodite who is nearing the end of her tragic life.  Her beautiful and hateful sister wants to go out into the woods to party with some friends, but she is only allowed to go if she takes Lori and her mentally handicapped step brother.  So little sis comes up with a plan to help Lori “end her suffering”.  This is a much better chapter than Rampage due to the fact that we have real characters and story this time!  Unfortunately the acting is below par and the story that we are given is ridiculous, but it is still a more enjoyable chapter.

Chapter Three:  Son of the Boogieman  The next tale starts out with a man out on a date with a woman, who shares her affection for the man and wanting to spend the rest of her life with him. Unfortunately, he is afraid to get too serious as he has spent his entire life on the run from his abusive father.  He then shares that his mother was abducted and raped when she was 17, and she escaped after giving birth to him.  Of course this would be the perfect time for mother to call and warn him that father’s in town.  Once again at least an attempt to try and draw up a little plot and characterization, but running only about 11 or 12 minutes there isn’t quite enough time to work this story properly.

Chapter Four:  Burn   Next up is the lamest and morally corrupt church youth group I’ve ever seen having a bonfire.  They start to share a local ghost story about  two gay firemen who were burned to death by the rest of the fire squad.  Since then the two have hunted down and killed everyone who wronged them, and were now hunting down their kin.  Of course the group has to be related to the past members of the squad, and it is time for some burning revenge.

The cover artwork makes it sound like there are five chapters, but really in between the chapters you have police confessionals from three serial killers explaining why they do what they do.  After chapter four we get a brief scene where the three men have broken out and want to go out with a bang.

What can I say after watching Massacre?  I was excited to shut off my brain and enjoy the madness that was 155 on screen kills, but forgive me for wanting a little substance with my mass killings.  All of the characters and plot were so shallow and simple that even with all the bloodshed the film was extremely boring.

On the plus side the make up effects that Castro uses in the film were all done quite well (looks like he has a background in effects based on his imdb page).  It is very sad to report that the make up and physical effects in the movie are at a minimum, and the entire movie is covered in ridiculous looking CGI that totally ruined the entire movie for me.  I’m sure this probably had to be done because the time and cost to kill 155 people with fake blood and prosthetics would’ve been an impossible task.  But I have to call it like I see it and the computer effects were atrocious and I couldn’t look past them.

The Summer of Massacre is coming January 31st to DVD and blu-ray from Breaking Glass Pictures.

DISCLAIMER: This article is in no way talking about the Killer Film Fest in a negative light. The festival itself supports an independent base of films for its selection and we commend them for that. This is only the account of what it is like to be a judge at a festival.  To have movies you love not be selected. To be a cry baby when they are not selected, but most importantly to illustrate that winning a festival may not necessarily make or break a film or guarantee that you will find an audience in every horror fan. I am grateful to have been given the opportunity to judge in 2011.  The creators are truly amazing folks.

When someone asks you if you want to judge a film festival you say… what? Well, it’s pretty much the same answer you give to metaphysical being that asks you if you are a God. You say yes.  I’ve watched my fair share of movies and I think I can tell when a movie is worth a good God damn. That’s not to say that I hold myself to be any kind of authority. How could I? I have no credentials. That PhD… the whole Doctor label… a sham! (no… YES!) But I think as long as you watch movies, love film and can at least express an opinion in some fashion that others might identify with you can evaluate film. There’s nothing to it really. Just pick the good ones. Pick the original ones. Pick films that fit the judging schema and then determine which films you think best fit into the pre-fab categories as determined by the good folks who are putting on the festival. You’re really being asked which movies you’d watch or at least that’s how I see it. Which films you, as a fan of cinema, think other folks need to see.  It’s what we do every day. We tell our friends or readers what films we think are worth their time. Why we want people to see ‘em. Why they should avoid ‘em (and there are just plenty of those to go around). Never could I have imagined how very wrong I could have been about what it means to be a film festival judge; the fortitude you must have to actually get through the films you are being asked to evaluate and the angst you feel when the films you so dearly love don’t make the grade and the worse yet… the feeling that you have attached your name, as a judge, to films that you may not have enjoyed and may have in fact despised.

I want to make clear that I’m not going to bash films throughout this article. I’m not going to give you specific recommendations for films from the festival until the end of the article because it’s not fair to the festival entrants. I want to give you my experience in the judging said festival and not a record of a how mean I can be to people trying to make it in the industry. So I’ll give you some semi-nonspecific anecdotes and then tell you which films were truly novel.

I’m not sure that’s it’s everyone’s dream to judge a film festival. I had always found the prospect exciting, so when I was asked the answer was instantaneously, “yes”.  How did this prospect come about? I simply shared a link for the Killer Film Feston FaceBook and was contacted by one of the good folks who run the festival. He knew that I did some writing for the online horror world and thought I might be a good fit. I can safely say that I have seldom met a nicer group of folks.  The festival was to be held in Cambridge, Massachusetts, a short five hour drive from my humble abode in New Jersey, and, hey, if I couldn’t make it, all the judging was done online well before the festival anyway. Score. I wasn’t entirely certain I’d be able to travel with a new baby on the docket. The film load was estimated at about seventy movies. Mostly shorts but a few full length films would be included from around the world. Again, no problem. I can handle a pretty heavy viewing load given enough Mountain Dew with Rockstar energy drink chaser.  The viewing and preliminary judging would take place beginning in late July and running through the end of September. Final judging would occur shortly thereafter with announcements made at the festival come the first week in Novemeber. Bring it on! Each judge was announced in turn (four “guest” judges”).

A bit of history from the KFF:

Killer Film Fest emerged in November 2009 at the Orpheuem Theater in Foxboro, MA as the premiere of the feature film “Kill Everyone” from Producer Michael Vallier II and Writer/Director Richard Tobin Jr. After completing “Kill Everyone” and seeking a venue to host the premiere, they decided to invite other local filmmakers to show a series of short films before “Kill Everyone” sharing the venue space and bringing the filmmakers together for a night of “Killer Films”.  After searching for short films, Michael and Richard received feature film submissions even though that was not what they were looking for and since there were so many local filmmakers who want to show their work, why not book the theater for a complete weekend and make a small fest out of it. Well they did and it was a big success with a turnout of over 500 horror fans throughout the 3-day weekend event.  With no real indie horror film festival in the Massachusetts area and after many people asking if they would do Killer Film Fest again, it just made sense to continue and turn the 3-day local film screening into an all-out international indie horror film festival.

Come late July I received an email with access code and instructions concerning judging schema, time frames for submitting ballots etc. Films were posted on Vimeo, password protected and comments disabled.  The only contact with other judges would come through a rarely visited forum. The internet can act like a marvelous isolation chamber if one so desires to have it as such. I avoided the forums and stuck my nose deep in some of early entries. As the festival runners would received new entries, films would be posted and updates would be sent to each judge.

At first I thought we were deciding whether films would simply be accepted into the festival for judging, but quickly found out that all films put on the website had been accepted. Not all films that were entered to the Festival were accepted, but there were a few here that needed re-watching.  It’s no skin off my tits what films a festival chooses to embrace for judging, but after watching a few of the films I realized that entrants love to take the common trope in popular horror and exploit it to the absolute max. While the judging schema embraced standard quality categories including editing, effects quality (both computer generated and practical), sound and cinematography, the category that seemed to stand out was the “story” category. Was the story orignal? The category was pretty clear that it higher scores would be based on stories that pushed boundaries; truly original works that moved the horror genre forwarded. Say what you want about internet piracy and big studios destroying independent cinema. The number one enemy of the indy filmmaker is the copycat. Take a great story and then watch as you are cannibalized by anyone with a handycam. The outcome is oversaturation. Oversaturation turns off audiences faster than killing and dismembering a turtle in a cannibal movie. If you’ve seen it before, why watch it again? So the story category seemed to be a paramount category. You can have as many technical difficulties as you want. You can use terrible CGI in leiu of practical effects. You can even send me a film that was clearly shot on a VHS camcorder circa 1988 using the onboard microphone, no lighting and without the assitance of a tripod. If you do any of those things and tell me a story I haven’t heard before I’ll look past 90% of your flaws. Send me in the unofficial Saw VIII under a different title and you won’t be considered at all. You can call me Judge Judy (and not Harry Stone as I’d prefer).

Three of the first four films I watched were unoriginal, well shot, well scored, well acted films that clearly played off the recent success of several popular pieces of horror fiction. The only outlier was a foreign film that told a story so beautiful and organic I can only say that I felt sad. I didn’t feel scared or grossed out; just an overwhelming feeling that I needed to go find my Goth Rock CD’s circa 1999 and paint my nails black. I’m not sure you can say that one out of four films gives you any kind of hope, but the festival was only in its infancy and there would be plenty of other movies to view.

Quickly I realized the indy filmmakers can make some pretty powerful short films using only about five to fifteen minutes of your time. There are some truly talented actors and filmmakers who understand that fleshing out a short story that can capture your attention in just three minutes doesn’t need to be a full 90 minutes. The full length movies weren’t poorly made. They were highly unoriginal or drawn out beyond necessity. What was worse was that I began to realize that most of the full length features played on a film that had been popular in the last two to three years in major releases (not necessarily Hollywood releases, just major theatrical presenations). I turned to the shorts for salvation and to find something/anything worth watching. I’ll tell you that everyone thinks they can make a zombie movie these days. Slap some latex on your buddy’s face and insert John Hughes plot point and you can have yourself an instant movie. Musicals are really coming into their own. I’m undecided as to whether this is a good thing, but at least the musicals don’t take themselves as seriously as the Paranormal Activity rip offs or worse yet, the faux documentary based on film X. Film X probably involves somebody kicking a map in the river or visiting an abandoned mental hopsital.

All in all I’d say I enjoyed fifteen of all the entrants and when asked to submit my ballot for judging I found that those same fifteen films fit in each category. I submitted my ballot and awaited the next step. When I received the final ballot, the top films had been chosen, placed in each category and we were told to order the films awarding points for our favorites. The list I got back barely included any of my inital selections and did instead include any number of the copycat films that I found destestable. Up until this point I had been having quite a lot of fun. Sure I was watching half filmed, half editted reduxes in found footage, but there were some talented mofos who needed our help. That’s who we judge the festival for, right? The fans.  In that moment it became quite clear to me that A. I was not simply picking movies I thought were good. I was picking movies that were supposed to be good for the genre that I loved. Movies that would drive and move the genre. I was supposed to pick films to take the next step.  And.. B. that wasn’t going to happen because the folks that chose alongside me made very, how shall I put this, SAFE choices. I have never conferred with the other judges. I don’t pretend that my opinion should be weighted any more than there opinion. It seems to me that my vote was not going to be accurately represented. The movies I had truly loved would not be in play. I became saddened. Suddenly my decision making prowess took to lofty expectations. This must be what all the kids who played saxophones in Ska bands in high school felt.

With one last round of judging I had to make sure that the film I truly loved for each category that still remained under consideration would move along. Was it to be? Nay. I will not divulge which films I did vote for at the festival, but I will give you a list of movies to beg, borrow, steal, purchase, trade for or ask for nicely from the film creators. I’m not writing this to bash the festival (as previously stated). The judges are excellent folks. The festival was handled professionally; the voting schema, scoring and tallying were on the up and up. It’s just a matter of taste. It’s one man’s trash being another man’s treasure. The only real difference here is that when you sign up to judge a festival, you’re name is on the trash or the treasure. If what you choose doesn’t win, you still have your name attached to it.  I look at who I would have liked to have win each category. I think about how I might have voted differently to help them out in the early rounds. Probably couldn’t have.  But future film fest judges and audience members, the final say isn’t with any of you. It all comes out in the distro.

One last note before we cut into the trailers for the movies you MUST see… Killer Film Fest is an outstanding outfit that puts on a mighty fine festival. This year it was in Cambridge, MA, but I believe a new location will be selected next year. It looks to be in Somerville, MA November 1-3rd. Look for adverts around September/October. We’ll make sure to keep you updated. Remember, the festival is a great festival. This piece is about my misconceptions of what it means to judge a festival.  And if your curious, if the KFF asked me to be a judge again this year, I would say YES. We need to keep on trying. You’ll notice that some of these films actually placed or won awards. We make our difference!

Here are the entrants  that you NEED to keep your eyes on. I adored these films. You friggin’ better give ‘em a shot.

First Flesh Eating Fog (I feel no shame in telling you this was my pick to win the festival). Think Street Trash on an even lower budget. Hilarious but fun gore.

Flesh-eating Fog – Killer Film Fest 2011 Trailer from Killer Film Fest Online on Vimeo.

Incubator (Actor to Director: What’s my motivation? Director to actor: You’re an egg sack…)

INCUBATOR – Killer Film Fest 2011 Trailer from Killer Film Fest Online on Vimeo.

Tonrar Yuralria (Did someone watch Rare Exports alot?)

Tonrar Yuralria – Killer Film Fest 2011 Trailer from Killer Film Fest Online on Vimeo.

WILT (I got teared up… real tears.)

WILT – Killer Film Fest 2011 Trailer from Killer Film Fest Online on Vimeo.

O Risco (The Line… HILARIOUS… even the brevity of the trailer is funny).

O Risco – Killer Film Fest 2011 Trailer from Killer Film Fest Online on Vimeo.

Hell Blaster Bastards (Gore!)

『Hell Blaster Bastards』Trailer from eggheads on Vimeo.

Wanna pick up a copy of Easter Bunny Kill! Kill!? Maybe you live in Staten Island and have not as of yet perused the documentary Cropsey. Now’s the chance at a rather generious discount.  Breaking Glass Pictures is cutting you a break for the holiday season (or post-holiday season as it were). See below for details. Quite a few titles that one might explore even if I haven’t heard of a number of them.  What’s your favorite?

A Belated Christmas Gift from Breaking Glass Pictures

Bring in the New Year with Breaking Glass Pictures and Vicious Circle Films! We wanted to thank all of our horror press outlets for an excellent 2011. So in the spirit of the holiday BGP is offering horror fans a $6 discount off the already reduced price of each horror title in the catalog of films. This discount will bring consumers DVDs and Blu Rays for close to the wholesale price!  It’s as easy as going to the Breaking Glass store www.shop.breakingglasspictures.com choosing as many horror titles as your heart desires and then using the code horrorholiday readers will receive $6 off of each already discounted title.  This opportunity will not last forever so be sure to take advantage of it while you can.  And be sure to have a horrifying holiday!!

www.Breakingglasspictures.com

www.facebook.com/BreakingGlassPictures

www.twitter.com/BreakingGlassPX

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From Erik L Wilson, filmmaker from the Chicago, comes a new entrant into the film festival circuit, House Call. With new movie season right around the corner and the summer ripe with fresh opportunities to catch the latest independent efforts consider yourself lucky that this film is among the contenders.

Synopsis: Janice does the unthinkable in order to start a new life with her new boyfriend. However, strange things begin to happen on the night of their one year anniversary.

House Call — Horror Short — Trailer from Erik L. Wilson on Vimeo.

Having judged a film festival recently (article coming soon on that experience) I can tell you that this is a definite contender for at least a nod from one of the horror fests out there if not award worthy. Erik Wilson has put together a quality film and while it didn’t exactly scare me (most because William Shatner wasn’t being attacked by a pile of killer tarantulas) it is entertaining. There’s an overabundance of rather shotty filmsmanship out there.  If you submit a film to a festival and the audience can’t understand the dialogue due to deafening white noise, consider not submitting that film. If a film is dark… I mean darker than any color in the Crayola arsenal… so dark you can’t differentiate between a moving, raging killer and the lamp that the killer just knocked over… DO NOT SUBMIT YOUR FILM. Wilson’s efforts, on the other hand, are of excellent quality. Good sound. Well lit. Professional. It was shot on the Red One camera which ain’t your mama and daddy’s Betamax camcorder.

The overall story line plays out like a rather typical spiritual revenge film but still has certain novel hints that allow it play in front of  genre fans. At least one makeup job had me thinking Drag Me To Hell; I think this is a strength considering the success of that film and the quality of the effects.

Keep your eyes out for this effort. Let’s see how the circuit gives Wilson a house call (sad trombone inserted here).

Stay in contact and check out the trailer:

Link to Facebook page:
https://www.facebook.com/HouseCallmovie

Link to trailer:
http://vimeo.com/eriklwilson/housecalltrailer

Link to poster of film:
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=125517574201750&set=a.125517567535084.32997.125481257538715&type=3&theater

You can always tell what kind of home you’ve entered into based on 2 things:  What art adorns the walls and what books take up space on their coffee table.  Well, if Marcus Hearn’s latest book, The Hammer Vault,  is spotted on a coffee table then you can count on me sticking around in that house.

I would love to know what's being discussed.

Recently released by Titan Books, The Hammer Vault combines Hearn’s vast knowledge of the British film studio with never-before-seen photos to create the definitive collection of stories and artifacts.  It’s littered with annotated pages from various scripts, poster art that was never used, rare promotional materials, and even private correspondence that took place amongst some of Hammer (and horror’s) most famous names.  Marcus Hearn is the official Hammer film historian, so what you’re getting access to is the best of the best when it comes to this notorious studio’s history.

Hammer is a name synonymous with horror’s rich history.  When we think of actors like Christopher Lee or Peter Cushing, instantaneously our mind shifts towards the classic roles they’re best known for.  Those roles are from Hammer films, always!  So, if you fancy yourself a fan of those films and that era, this book is a must.  You’ll get all the nasty little details you could’ve ever wanted and then some.  The hardbound beauty retails for $34.95 and can be picked up by visiting www.titanbooks.com.

Vote Lee/Cushing in 2012

Richard Donahue and Justin Williams of Mourningside Productions have done a marvelous job of bringing their horrific ideas to mind.  They’re frugal gentlemen, too.  They work on shoestring budgets and maximize the atmosphere with each outing.  After last year’s slasher-but-oh-so-much-more Grayhaven, the next film fell into the the “sky’s the limit” category.  What I didn’t expect was to receive a package from my fellow Oriole lovers that included a film NOT written or directed by the duo.  Instead, they lent their help to another filmmaker by the name of Daemon McConnaughey who (keeping in the Mourningside tradition of unconventional) took on the not-s0 simple task of revisiting Rod Serling’s The Midnight Sun.  Yes, that Rod Serling!

Considered an adaptation or a re-imagining of the original, The Midnight Sun is the story of Norma (played by Grayhaven alumnist, Natasha McConnaughey) and Helen (Elana Williams).  The 2 women are coping with the end of the world.  For some inexplicable scientific reason, the earth has begun an ascension that’s  leading it closer and closer toward the sun.  As expected, folks are headed toward cooler climates north of them but will it be enough?  As the cities empty out and hope is waning, the 2 women struggle to maintain sanity.  Time is slipping away from them as the temperature increases.  Who goes first?  The earth or its people?

The Twilight Zone’s Rod Serling was a magical storyteller.  Taking on his work isn’t to be done in an aloof manner, and knowing Mourningside’s history I’m certain that they had no intention of doing so.  Shot in an homage-styled black & white, it works in the way you expect The Twilight Zone to work, but with that Mourningside touch.  McConnaughey uses the same methods that Donahue and Williams have:  Very few set pieces,  small cast, rely on natural abilities/fear to drive the story.  Fortunately, the story already had its built-in fear.  So, McConnaughey used a modern (yet, somehow still timeless) setting to chronicle 2 people’s struggle with the end of humanity.  The story certainly cashes in on the claustrophobic concept initially created by Serling.  The walls are closing in on Norma and Helen, both figuratively and literally.  Knowing as we do that it’s a matter of time before it’s all gone, watching their struggle feels almost merciless on the part of the audience.  When hitched onto the unmistakable Twilight Zone-esque ending, this loving tribute is definitely going to win over the lover of a good ol’ fashion horror story.

The Midnight Sun is not intended to be an official release from the Baltimore-based company.  It was shot in honor of Serling’s work as a non-profit film.  If you’re interested in finding out more (and I recommend you do!  It’s an excellent watch!), visit www.mourningsideproductions.net for the details on The Midnight Sun and their other releases.

The team at Fatal Pictures consisting of writer/director Richard Powell, producer Zach Green, and actor Robert Nolan came to us with a previous endeavor of theirs’ known as Worm.  Worm got to me.  I was genuinely intrigued by the up and down emotional trek it took me on.  I would liken their previous film  to that of a Fugazi song with its build up, drop off, build up, etc.  Naturally, after being contacted by producer Zach Green about the next chapter in this team’s history,  it stirred up curiosity wondering what they could’ve concocted this time around.  Worm took the route of punishing the mind.  My assumption was that Familiar would take a similar route.  I was half right…

Familiar is the story of John Dodd, a middle-aged married man.  He has a normal day job, a teenage daughter, and fair amount of animosity towards his own life.  John’s psyche is on shaky ground.  He’s clearly fighting some frightening compulsions…and he’s barely strong enough to hold them back.   But what we initially think are John’s tragic demons bubbling to the surface of his mind, end up being a much more sinister (and LIVING) “thing”.

This Canadian filmmaking team has taken the short film and made it something of an art form.  I’ve always considered this format a trying one.   To convey each emotion possible in a fraction of the time is a feat.  Fatal Pictures has not only upstaged their previous work, they’ve done it AGAIN in a very little amount of time!  You see, Familiar is a very tricky movie.  At first glance, I assumed I’d be getting a mental beating ala’ Gaspar Noe’s I Stand Alone.  Familiar starts off on that sort of path, with us being audience to John Dodd’s inner monologue.  But just when Powell masterfully builds you up to (what you assume will be) an explosive moment, he takes a hard right into a body-based trauma that would make David Cronenberg giggle.  At the point in which the audience learns that the “monologue” isn’t necessarily his own, it already feels to be too late.  The train to Fucked Town has left the station.  It goes without saying, this can only lead to horrible, nasty, awful things.

Considering this was the first indie flick I was tackling for the new year, I was more than pleased that it came from the consistently rockin’ Fatal Pictures.  Personally, I have yet to be disappointed with this indie company’s output.  This team is careful to present their work in ways a lot of self-funded filmmakers do not.  Familiar is gorgeously shot, strongly acted, and doesn’t rely on generic trickery to invoke its suspense.  It is another successful outing from Toronto’s Fatal Pictures.  They’ve trumped their previous work with a film that exceeds the idea of them being promising-it proves they’ve got what it takes to stick around.  Now, let’s see a feature length, guys!

Frabjous Tidings, Brothers and Sisters of the Psychotronic Video World! When Wes asked me to write an end-of-the-year wrap-up piece, I found myself in a little bit of a pickle.  I didn’t watch most of the new horror released this year, haven’t been watching THE WALKING DEAD or AMERICAN HORROR STORY, in short, I’ve been something of a piss-poor horror nerd this year.  C’est la vie.  I ultimately decided to recreate the spark I had last year when I wrote up quickie capsule reviews of the 10 best books I’d read that year.

I didn’t read quite as many Bloodsprayer relevant books this year, in part due to spending two months studying paralegalism, and in part due to a sudden compelling interest in the Middle Ages.  That being said, I still got quite a bit of good reading in, and I bring you 2011′s list of the 10 Best Bloodsprayer-Relevant Books I Read.

10.) Forbidden Fruit: The Golden Age of the Exploitation Film, by Felicia Feaster and Brett Wood.  One thing I’ve truly fallen in love with this year, readers, is exploitation film, especially some of the sleazy stuff to have come out of the 1930s and 1940s.  Midget westerns, drug-scare propaganda (REEFER MADNESS, anyone?), VD scare propaganda, monkey suits, and the pinnacle of raw, honest American filmmaking, FREAKS.  Feaster and Wood do an excellent job not just cataloging these films, but also at presenting the zeitgeist of the era.

9.) Kong Unbound: The Cultural Impact, Pop Mythos, and Scientific Plausibility of a Cinematic Legend, edited by Karen Haber.  The original 1933 KING KONG is consistently in my “Top 3″ list of greatest movies ever made.  Everything about it is just absolutely spectacular.  This book, released in conjunction with the 2005 remake, is a collection of essays by the likes of Ray Bradbury, Harryhausen, William Stout, Phillip J. Currie, Maurice Sendak and more, exploring KONG not just on the surface, but also deeper themes such as sexual repression, race relations, the triumph of technology over the natural world, etc.

8.) Unruly Pleasures: the Cult Film and its Critics, edited by Xavier Mendik and Graham Harper.  Ever find yourself in an upper level collegiate course without having taken the prerequisites? That’s how this book feels to me, and I think it would have ranked higher if so much of it hadn’t gone over my head.  With essays covering topics ranging from the original ROLLERBALL to the politics of female ejaculation-pornography, it’s a pretty heady read.

7.) Shambling Towards Hiroshima, by James Morrow.  Exploring an alternate history in which, Plutonium production being considered too costly, the United States embarked in a biogenetics experiment to produce giant, fire-breathing reptiles to use against the Japanese in WWII, Shambling Towards Hiroshima is a somber, sorrowful story told through the eyes of Syms Thorley, a B-movie actor hired to play “Gorgantis” when the experiment hits a snag, in a demonstration designed to hopefully convince the Japanese to surrender.  Much more serious and heart-wrenching then it sounds, especially with the framing story around Thorley’s narrative.

6.) The Elric Saga, by Michael Moorcock.  Elric of Melniboné being pretty much the polar opposite of Conan the Barbarian — a sickly, albino sorcerer-king of a prehuman race, cursed to slay everyone he ever cares for, betrayer of his entire species and harbinger of the doom of the world — Moorcock’s prose is an amazing blend of Victorian gothicism, 1960s psychedelica (he wrote lyrics for Hawkwind and Blue Oyster Cult!) and classic fantasy adventure fiction.  The entire series, written over a period of over four decades, has recently been reprinted by Del Rey in omnibus editions.

5.) Strange Histories: The Trial of the Pig, the Walking Dead, and Other Matters of Fact from the Medieval and Renaissance World, by Darren Oldridge.  A nonfiction book dealing with the beliefs and superstitions of Europeans from the 10th through the 17th centuries, Oldridge offers a fascinating insight into our ancestors’ (well, if you’re of European descent like myself) worldview and belief systems.  Much of it is fairly mind-blowing (Medieval Europeans, by and large, did not believe in werewolves, on the grounds that only God could transform one body into another), though Oldridge seems a little too intent on his argument that the people of the 10th century were every bit as rational and reasonable as those of the 21st century — glossing considerably over witchcraft trials, for example.

4.) Trash Cinephile, by Blake Ryan.  An excellent collection of reviews, arranged by theme, and covering a wide variety of films ranging from sicko 1970s exploitation to classic horror.  Ryan’s opinions are well-thought out and delivered with panache — though there’s a little bit of poor proofreading on the part of some galley-preparer marring the book.

3.) Cinema Sewer Collected Vol. III, by Robin Bougie.  Do you believe in magic? I do, and it comes in the form of the Bougieman’s transcendentally hilarious and thoughtful hand-lettered prose and sensual, sexy artwork.  I’m probably going to gnaw my own face off waiting for Vol. IV.  Some highlights of this issue are a tribute to 1970s porn star Rene Bond, a sordid piece on white supremacist porn actress Bianca Trump, a tribute to Vanity, Women in Prison, and one of the finest illustrations of Queen Victoria I’ve ever seen.

2.) My Year of Flops: The A.V. Club Presents One Man’s Journey Deep into the Heart of Cinematic Failure, by Nathan Rabin.  Reading Rabin’s review made me want to watch WATERWORLD.  ‘Nuff said.

1.) Swedish Sensationsfilms, by Daniel Ekeroth.  I rushed out and bought a copy of this after reading Wes’ glowing review here.  And I was not disappointed.  Christina Lindberg in her own words, the bizarre history of “Glacier-Westerns,” Viking movies, the birth of western theatrical pornography…all told here in sly, entertaining prose.  A must read for any with an interest in international Psychotronic Cinema.

So Kris Kringle is packing the sleigh and yet you’re so Humbug even Ebenezer Scrooge would say, “Lighten up, ya wet blanket!” What’s going to pull you out of this funk? Well, personally I’d grease the wheels with extra helpings of that spiked egg nog and by parking my cute little ass in front of the boob tube for the true meaning of Christmas: Not-Necessarily-Christmas Christmas Movies.

In no particular order, here’s a run-down of some of my favorite movies that invoke the Holiday spirit without shoving the Yuletide cheer down your throat as if it were your first day of lock-up at the North Pole Corrections Facility. Calm down and keep that ugly ass sweater on if your favorite cult & genre films didn’t make the cut. There’s always next year… Just kidding, it’s my list, deal with it.

AMERICAN PSYCHO (2000)

Caught in the corporate grind of 1980s materialism, what does one do to blow off the steam of the holidays? Why dissect and mutilate of course. Some folks would like Christian Bale under their tree this year; naked, and bloody. Me, I’ll settle for him in reindeer horns at his fiancé’s Christmas party. And I’ll ask Santa to make Bret Easton Ellis write a story which finally unites Patrick Bateman with his kid brother, Sean. There’s nothing like family on the holidays.

I have to go return some video tapes.

STANLEY KUBRICK DOUBLE-FEATURE

FULL METAL JACKET (1987)

Happy Birthday, Jesus! We got you all these souls for heaven. We just weren’t sure how to wrap ‘em. Seriously, if one flick runs the gauntlet of human emotions for Christmas it’s got to be Stanley Kubrick’s war-time masterpiece. How many relatives have you endured berating you with festive merriment? So give the gift of jelly donuts Christmas morning and wonder if the best part of you ran down the crack of your Momma’s ass and ended up as a stain on the mattress.

AND

EYES WIDE SHUT (1999)

What do you get that special someone in your life this Christmas? How about a heaping helping of paranoia, sex games, dead hookers, and a blistering need for infidelity? Kubrick skewers the giving of the season by examining just how much one couple can take. The slow burn of the storytelling between Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman is just enough to revel in their shared awkwardness despite them being Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman.

I wonder if Santa ever wears a mask…

THE CITY OF LOST CHILDREN (1995)

Ah, the little ones. Their heads all filled with visions of sugar plums and Xbox 360s, and Transformers, and a billion other things that will ruin your credit rating come January. So when a mad scientist kidnaps the kiddies to steal their dreams, it’s up to strong man Ron Perlman to help save the day. We all need a little adventure to put a shine to these grey skies above us and this flick will put you right into the spirit with its opening sequence alone.

BRAZIL (1985)

Nothing quite puts the year in review like watching a man is arrested by the secret police who mistake him for a terrorist due to a misprinted file at the Ministry of Information. Getting lost in the visuals of Terry Gilliam’s surreal visuals is what makes this flick a cult hit, but it’s almost too eerie in how its story seems to Occupy Everything. It’s a gentle reminder that at this precious time of year to appreciate all we have and what we worked for, and how easily it can all be taken away from you.

DIE HARD (1988)

Bruce Willis – the receding hairline that launched a career. I like to imagine that this movie is where Carl Winslow went to work each day when he left home on FAMILY MATTERS. This flick is almost like LETHAL WEAPON via walkie talkie. You’d think I’d include the follow-up sequel as well since it wraps itself in the same garland and tinsel, but I like my movies like I like my Kentucky Fried Chicken; Original Recipe all the way. Anyway, machine gunning terrorists all to rescue a woman that will still divorce you, it makes you wonder why we all go to the lengths we do at Christmas. Sure, John McClane had to walk on broken glass, but I got a paper cut from wrapping presents, so I think we’re about even.

BATMAN RETURNS (1992)

Michelle Pfeiffer in black vinyl. Christopher Walken doing whatever the hell he wants. Michael Keaton in his prime. And why do those penguins have rockets? These are all the reasons to enjoy the circus sideshow that is Tim Burton’s last ride at the helm of the Batman franchise. This flick is so all over the place you almost forget about Danny Devito’s need for family and the undercurrent of Judeo-Christian themes throughout. What? You thought it was just getting this flick done with so the wardrobe department could put nipples on the Bat suit?

P.S. Santa please bring me a Duck Tank.

SOLDIER (1998)

Kurt Russell, I don’t know why the good people of Earth don’t respect you like they should. You were Snake Plissken, Captain Ron, and Stuntman Mike. But many would have you forget you were a Soldier, a semi-robotic killing machine, but a Soldier none the less. So I salute you and the many others like you fighting the good fight for the liberties we all hold dear.

My favorite liberty is crap-tastic cinema and the freedom to subjugate others with my movie collection. America, FUCK YEA!

FEMALE TROUBLE (1974)

Cha-Cha heels. ‘Nuff said.

I hope your Holidays are happy and healthy and I look forward to traumatizing your brain with my thoughts and opinions come 2012.

Who’s Will Surive and What Will Be Left of Them? Or rather, who’s dead and who will they sleep with next?

The good folks over at Cultural Compulsive Disorder have put together a road map to the “As the World Turns”-esque Soap Opera American Horror Story. Ever wonder whether Derek actually died? Well he did and CCD have done the fact checking to prove it (By the by, of course Derek is dead). What about Marcy, the realtor? Alive! This one actually stunned me. In my own private musings I drummed up a sub-plot whereby Marcy is forced to sell the AHS house for eternity since she actually died there on one of her sales calls. Alas, I am mistaken.

Stop on by CCD for all your pop culture needs and to view the full sized version. Enjoy the dedciation and hard work put forth by Joe Fletch and Jeff Bond.  It’s a better than any star map to which I’ve been privy.

 I’m not sure that it’s the best time of the year to be disavowing any of God’s commandments… Santa’s coming… naughty list… you get it, but it’s clearly time to write your “I didn’t get this for Christmas” list.  With rumors of an Evil Dead remake which are clearly more than just misguided bloggers (uh hmmm) raping the internet for clues, this release is sure to give us all the Raimi/Campbell fix we’ve been so desiring. Full release notes to follow:

SYNAPSE FILMS PRESENTS

WHEN VIOLENCE DEMANDS REVENGE…

THE EXPLOITATION ACTION CLASSIC FROM THE PEOPLE WHO BROUGHT YOU THE EVIL DEAD AND EVIL DEAD 2!

Vietnam, 1969. War is Hell.  For Marine Sergeant
Jack Stryker (Brian Schulz), however, Hell is just the beginning.  Trapped outside a Viet Cong village, Stryker takes two bullets to the leg.
Sent home from the war, he discovers his ex-girlfriend (Cheryl Hausen) has been kidnapped by a religious cult with a vicious Manson-like leader (played by THE EVIL DEAD and SPIDER-MAN trilogy director, Sam Raimi). Stryker teams up with his marine buddies to form an assassination squad to annihilate the gang of crazed killers.

Synapse Films proudly presents THOU SHALT NOT KILL… EXCEPT in an all-new 2K high-definition transfer from the original negative.  Directed by Josh Becker, this “must see” (Detroit Free Press) cult classic features many of the creative personnel responsible for THE EVIL DEAD, including co-writer Bruce Campbell, writer/producer Scott Spiegel (INTRUDER), composer Joseph LoDuca, and actor Ted Raimi.

Special Features:

• All-New High-Definition 2K Digital     Restoration from the Original Negative
• The Original Super 8mm Short film, STRYKER’S WAR, starring Bruce Campbell!
• Made in Michigan: The Making of THOU SHALT NOT KILL… EXCEPT – Featurette
• Two Audio Commentaries featuring Director Josh Becker, Bruce Campbell, and Star Brian Schulz
• All-New Video Interview with Actor/Writer Bruce Campbell
• Deleted Scene with Optional Director’s Commentary
• Alternate Title Sequence
• Original Theatrical Trailer
• Reversible Alternate Cover Artwork

Disc Info:

Director: Josh Becker
Starring: Sam Raimi, Ted Raimi, Scott Spiegel, Brian Schulz
Run Time: 83 minutes
Release Date: March 13, 2012
Language: English
Aspect Ratio: 16:9 1.66:1
Format: DVD/Blu-ray combo
Region: All regions

Price: $29.95

Synapse Films

It’s a fairly generic sentiment to opine over what happened throughout these past 12 months.  Certainly, every site and magazine on the planet will be doing the exact same thing.  But, I’ll be honest:  It’s a lot of fun to do this sort of thing.

I used the same criteria as I did last year.  It’s official IMDB page may not say 2011, but if it’s blu-ray/DVD release was 2011 stateside, then it qualifies.  Also, I don’t exactly live in the mecca of entertainment, so I gotta try a little harder to get my hands on certain things.   This year’s searching was well worth it.

2011 produced a lot of great things from the genre.  As usual, the theatrical releases were momentary and forgettable.  I’ll be the first guy to admit that not only do I not go see 90% of the genre films released in theatre, I also don’t give a shit about that 90%.  They just don’t interest me.  8 million other sites are gonna have their heads up the asses of those movies, so I’d just as soon seek out the films I want to see and that system has yet to let me down.  So, without further adieu, I present my list of 2011′s best (and then some)…

1.Valhalla Rising-A lot of stuff came out after this one that I loved, but nothing quite surpassed it for me.   Director Nicolas Winding Refn’s hallucinatory, mystical mindfuck summons the demons of Jodorowsky and Lynch while still packing it’s own distinct punch.  Refn made an impression on me with his film Bronson and Drive caught the world’s attention (as well it should have!), but for the purposes of The Blood Sprayer’s world, I can tell you that after    watching Valhalla Rising I never recovered.  This one stayed with me all year long and will long after this year.

2.Black Death-So what if he plays the same character from the same era in every film?  Sean  Bean is a real dick kicker!!  The medieval battle for good and evil, the plague, and all kinds of  badassery runs rampant.  Who doesn’t like evil?!  Black Death is dark and full of  the faith testing concepts that usually end up in films like this, but this movie is made for horror fans.  From the first frame all the way to the end, I found myself grinning. The combination of horror and The Black Plague seems so obvious now.

3.Stake Land-If Twilight has taught us anything, it’s that vampires are fucking lame.  We don’t fear Dracula any longer, and rightfully so.  Awful haircut, terrible accent, cape…what a douche.  In the modern era, they just can’t hold weight for horror fans.  The concept has been reduced to romance and soap opera antics.  Then, Stake Land came out…

Jim Mickle whipped up a no-bullshit vampire movie that turns them into the bloodsucking monsters they are.  Stake Land’s characters win your heart immediately.  You ache for them.  As the world is collapsing around them, they’re left with no choice but to fight.  It’s heartbreaking and full of action.  This one will follow you home.  (Sidenote:  If Hollywood needs any more reason to give Danielle Harris and Nick Damici some worthy roles, they just need to see this.)

4.Super-James Gunn is one of our guys.  He’s never lost touch with his geeky roots.  In fact, I would go as far as to say they’re his driving force.  So, it should have come as no surprise to horror fans that Super was as gory and messed up as it was.  Rainn Wilson?  Ellen Page?  Kevin Bacon?  Michael Rooker?! Liv Tyler?!  Hell yes!!!  Mr. Wilson’s performance ranked as one of the best I encountered all year.  He didn’t have super powers.  Hell, he didn’t even have a good costume.  But, his sociopathic code of ethics was enough to make his rampage the fun blast that it was.  The writers of the show Dexter really could learn a thing  or two from James Gunn about writing a moral lunatic.  Expect this to be on cult film lists for years to come.

5.Attack The Block-This was more than a movie in our home.  It was an event.    Everything about ATB is likable, from it’s anti-hero lead characters, right down to it’s stylized badass cinematography.  With as many times as my son has watched this one since its release, I got a feeling this is going to be one of his generations’ favorites.  The monsters are jazz-cool and the movie moves at a damn fine clip.  All the popular kids are hip to ATB.  Sometimes, the cool kids are right.

6.Witch’s Brew-Chris LaMartina did his city and filmography proud this year.  Witch’s Brew is everything good and hopeful about indie horror.  It has likable characters played by actors who handled the script with a great deal of precision.  The effects are entertaining, set pieces are realistic (for a witch movie) and overall Witch’s Brew outdid all of it’s contemporaries by being better at combining blood and brains accurately.  I’m chomping at the bit, eagerly awaiting Chris LaMartina’s next flick.  If you haven’t seen any of his work, then you’re not living life to the fullest.  This was more than my favorite indie film I saw this year, it was one of my favorites period.  My crush on LaMartina rages on…

7. TrollHunter-I struggled with whether or not I could include this in as a true horror flick, but after much deliberation I couldn’t keep it off this list.  This was another major event in the Allen household this year.  Can anyone honestly say they didn’t love this movie?  It’s a trunk full of fun!  There’s great moments of that Blair Witch-esque suspense while dialogue is being dispersed, but when the trolls show up?  Well, then we get into some Jurassic Park territory.  TrollHunter is one of the best monster movies I’ve seen in about 10 years.  Multiple views are well deserved.  I’ve got that hunch that this too, ends up as one of the flicks my son’s generation reveres as a classic.

8. Hobo With A Shotgun-If there was one single film that ruled the school amongst genre fans in 2011, it was Hobo With A Shotgun.  Discussions begun in 2010 as the first rumblings of this began to surface.  When all was said and done, the final product lived up to it’s hype with room to spare.  The colors are bold, the performances are waaaaaay off the charts crazy, and the cinematography is flawless (as if I’d expected any different from the mighty Karim Hussain?).  I’m certain you’re already familiar with it and have probably seen it, but if you haven’t YET seen this movie…well, what the hell are you waiting for?!!

9. I Saw The Devil-While the Asian horror craze has quieted down considerably, this year we got some some pretty nice surprises.  This Korean revenge flick is mind-blowing.  The story is relentless in its pursuit to teach the antagonist his lesson.  The film’s anti-hero lead is a skilled son of a bitch in the ways of human suffering…and suffer does the wicked.  I sat up straight with my eyes wide open through every second of this movie, and when the credits rolled, it took every ounce of my being to not leap out of my chair and scream.  Mostly because I was home alone and that is a level of lonely I’m not ready to accept.  ISTD successfully casts you and reels you back in so many time, your head will be spinning.  This is quintessential revenge cinema executed with a level of perfection we’ve come expect from those crazy Korean bastards.

10. Red State-Kevin Smith is a public figure who (at times) is on the verge of having his persona overshadow his body of work.  I’m not nearly as harsh a critic of Kevin Smith’s work as a lot of folks are.  His films are associated with some very personal moments in my life and on more than one occasion, I’ve found myself tearing up while watching one of  them.  You may hate his world view, but it’s a view all his own that is both gross-out funny and deeply intimate.   With all of that in mind, I was still quite worried about Red State.  Sure, Mr. Smith can make me laugh but can he scare me?  Answer:  Fuck yes.

This film came with a lot of attention attached to in the form of both subject matter and how it came to be.  Fortunately, it killed!  Kevin Smith made a relevant, current, and (most importantly) scary film.  The last time a character really truly scared me in the way Michael Park’s did was Javier Bardem’s performance in No Country For Old Men.  Park’s performance of a Fred Phelps-like doomsday preacher is one that could bring about the apocalypse.  Red State’s tension is built upon every line he delivers.  I have no idea what Kevin Smith has in store next, but Red State is as potent as they come.  My faith in him remains in tact.

11.Tucker And Dale Vs. Evil-Comedic timing is a crucial part of horror film acting.  Thankfully, when the the cats making TADVE decided to begin their search for cast members, they made all the right decisions.  Another movie that came with a lot of attention,  TADVE would fall into the splatstick sub-genre quite nicely.  It’s got a million laughs that always come with some outrageous gore attached to them.  Alan Tudyk and Tyler Labine make a marvelous comedy team (also, Labine’s abilities are PROPERLY put to use here.  Seems a rarity.) who would do Sam Raimi quite proud.  Shaun of The Dead was the last big horror comedy to capture horror fans’ hearts so strongly, but TADVE can officially be placed right along side that now.

12. 13 Assassins-Does it really need explaining?  I mean, c’mon.  Takashi Miike returns to his balls-out ways with a martial arts film that beats the holy hell out of some the turd burgers Jet Li unleashed on America over the past 10 years.  As expected from my beloved Miike, this film is overflowing with insanity and violence-the way it SHOULD be!  It could very easily win over the heart of non-horror/genre lovers by appealing to the everyday sensibilities of film fans.  You know someone who digs on big budget action flicks?  Throw in 13 Assassins and watch them shit diamonds when the action kicks in.  This movie reaches new heights of insanity that horror fans (as well as Miike fans in general) will be instantly attracted to.  I know I was.  I’m not asking you to view this as a horror flick, I’m asking you to view it as a fan of kick ass, crazy, violent movie that will captivate you.  Miike = Master.

13. Hatchet II-Adam Green is now a pretty steady presence in horror cinema.  He’s carved a niche into modern day fans’ minds by crossbreeding nostalgia and current trends successfully.  With Hatchet II, He furthered the legacy of his Victor Crowley slasher by revisting the swamp with new ideas in mind.  The kills are as whacked out as the previous film and Danielle Harris nails another solid performance in II.  Seriously, she keeps getting better and better over time.  With the knowledge of a third film headed our way in 2012, it’s good to know that the newly-minted Hatchet franchise (going on a third film qualifies as a franchise, right?) is not becoming hokey (yet) and keeps Adam Green at the forefront of our mind.  Horror for the horror lover, indeed.

14.Chillerama-Adam Green again?  Yep.  But this time he brought his buddies: Tim Sullivan, Joe Lynch, and Adam Rifkin all tackle a different segment for a anthology of perversion.  This one is filled with all kinds of disgusting ideas fresh off the ol’ sleaze film block.  If you don’t laugh at Were-Bears, Godzilla-sized sperm, Hitler parodies, or horny zombies then I just don’t have much time for you…seriously.  None whatsoever.  I laughed through this whole damn thing and have watched 3 times since.  Sometimes horror/exploitation films need to just own up, and this one does.  It reaches all new levels of absurdity that one would expect from the perverts involved.  Well done, gentleman.

15.The Last Circus-If ever there was a time to TRULY fear clowns, it would be after viewing The Last Circus.  Director Alex De La Iglesia weaves a sordid tale of violence, love, and misery.  When telling a buddy about this one who’d asked me what I’d thought of it, I could only think of  words to accurately depict my feelings:  Fucking chaos.  Quite frankly, this movie (which is beautifully shot) is as disturbing as anything I’ve seen lately.  All of the characters are dysfunctional at best, and when shit goes down it’s not that hard to believe it is.  Iglesia has a very warped mind that he’s sharing with the film community.  Make sure to thank  the guy for doing so.

Honorable Mentions:

-Chromeskull:  Laid to Rest 2

-Embodiment of Evil

-A Horrible Way To Die

-Kidnapped

-Machete Maidens Unleashed!

Best Non-Horror Films of 2011:

1. Harry Potter and The Deathly Hollows Pt. 2:  It was a fitting finish to a legendary fantasy franchise.  Harry showed the heart of a lion while Voldemort fought a valiant fight in the name of evil.  Because everyone and their brother had already read the books, we knew the outcome.  But to see it play out on the big screen was years in the waiting.  Well. Worth. The. Wait.

2. Super 8:  For the E.T. generation, this film was a nostalgia trip but for a new generation this was the greatest alien encounter movie they’d seen.  Seeing this film at the drive-in with my son a movie memory I won’t soon forget.  J.J. Abrams gets monsters.

3.Thor:  I’m like everyone else-I’m eagerly awaiting The Avengers movie.  Thor was one of the pieces of the puzzle that had me nervous.  After seeing it though, I wanted to go right back in that theatre and watch it again.  Comic book movies are pretty much expected nowadays.  The problem with that?  Some of them are shit (Green Lantern, Green Hornet…anything with Green in the title.).  Thor was everything I wanted and more.  A family outing left us all smiling.

4.Captain America: See previous film…I’m a geek.

5.Lemmy: It couldn’t have come to anyone’s surprise that one of rock and roll’s living legends had a documentary made about him.  He’s fuckin’ Lemmy, for pete’s sake!  This documentary captures the reality of who Lemmy is.  I think a lot of us view him as larger-than-life.  This documentary brings a human side to the music god.  Don’t let me fool you:  If I saw him face to face, I’d probably unravel but this doc definitely lets us into the life of one of the kings.  He’s a damn juggernaut who doesn’t seem to be slowing anytime soon.  You’ll be touched by some of the stories of generosity told by several of his music peers, as well as amazed by his ability to keep going as hard as ever.  Every story is true, every myth is real-Lemmy is God.

Best Indie Film/Filmmaker/Writer/Director/Everything:  

Chris LaMartina

I know I’m coming off sort of stalkerish, but between Witch’s Brew and President’s Day, Chris LaMartina more than won me over.  I have watched his films several times at this point, and from I’m sitting its seems like a good idea for someone to give him a lot of money.  A lot of money and leave him to his devices.  At the exact moment I was feeling a little bored with what was coming across my desk this year, I received a package from him.  That package (which included the aforementioned films, as  well as some others.) was my rejuvination.  He is worthy of all of your attention.  Get his films NOW!

What’s next?

2012 is right around the corner.  Thankfully, there’s much to be hopeful for.  We know that the Soska Sisters have wrapped shooting on American Mary.  Not just amongst the people at The Blood Sprayer, but amongst horror fans in general, there’s much to be excited about for this.  At Toronto After Dark in October, the world got a glimpse at The Theatre Bizarre.  The Theatre Bizarre (hitting theatres January 27th)  is a fucked up anthology film being brought to you by some of the genre’s most brilliant and transgressive minds (Richard Stanley, Douglas Buck, Buddy Giovinazzo, David Gregory, Karim Hussain, and Jeremy Kasten respectively).  This will most certainly be a flick the horror world will be drooling over.  Hope still remains, good is still to come and we’re going to be there right alongside you guys.

Things will be relatively quiet here at The Blood Sprayer until after the holidays, but fear not:  We’ll be coming back REALLY strong in January!  See y’all then!

(A little follow-up to this:  I covered only films because covering music and books would’ve been disgustingly long.  And let’s be honest:  You barely care about my opinion now, so why give you a reason to care even less?)

I hope an insane drug-induced Christian Bale rant comes out of this one.  It seems that Lionsgate feels that the 2000 cult classic, American Psycho is a little too “dated” for their liking.  Lined up with a director who’s only experience seems to be doing commercials and bitch work on The Social Nework, Noble Jones will be the man behind the lens of the latest unnecessary remake to hit the horror genre.  Jones has also been said to be penning the script for the second visit to Bret Easton Ellis’ infamous novel.  There’s a reason when they remade Nightmare on Elm Street they recast the role of Freddy.  Actors age, and as much as we’d love them to, cannot play their part the way they once did.  Christian Bale is STILL playing that same character as Bruce Wayne and is STILL in good enough shape to do it again.  Why the hell are they remaking a film when the lead is still getting plenty of work playing within the same character type?  This applies not just to Bale, but to the entire fucking cast.  Jared Leto hasn’t aged in twenty years, and neither has Reese Witherspoon.  While they’ve yet to cast the iconic role of Patrick Bateman, Ellis himself stated on Twitter that he will “approve” a new version of his book only if it stars either Miles Fisher (Final Destination 5) who did a pretty bang-up job reenacting Bale’s performance in his “This Must Be the Place” music video…or Scott Disick.  For those of you who don’t know who Scott Disick is, he’s the snobby pretty boy who put his bun in Kourtney Kardashian’s oven.  The first choice I can somewhat get behind and weirdly enough, I’d totally watch it with Scott Disick.  He may not have the homicidal tendencies as Patrick Bateman, but the “mask” Bateman wears might as well be sold as a Scott Disick starter set.  I’m not expecting this film to be good, at all.  If it’s going to be a train wreck, I’d rather it be a complete shit storm than something half-assed.  Passion swings both ways, this better be golden, or the worst thing since The Wicker Man remake.

I just can’t fully understand why Hollywood is so compelled to remake this masterpiece.  Unfortunately, Ellis sold the writes to his novel a long time ago, and his approval isn’t needed for this remake to happen.  Whether or not we want it to happen, it’s going to.  One of the more charming attributes of the film was the fact it was set in the 1980′s, and I don’t know how I feel about a Patrick Bateman using an iPhone or finding his prostitutes on Craigslist.  What will become of all of his movie references, and what will they replace the Huxtables line with?  I swear on my life if there is ONE even ONE Jersey Shore reference sprinkled in (I’m looking at you Three Stooges Movie) I will chase Noble Jones down a staircase nude with a chainsaw myself.  Didn’t we already suffer through enough when they put The Shat in the direct to dvd sequel?  Apparently not.

Welcome back, Brothers and Sisters of the Psychotronic Video World.  Today, I have a tasty treat for you from the land of biscuits, tea, and calling french fries “chips.”  Yes, we’re off to Jolly Olde England, that Green and Pleasant Land, as well as the surrounding United Kingdom for a little taste of horror.  Tonight, I will present to you three films, by three different directors, three different writers, yet all organized around the same theme — that of unpleasant survivals from ancient times — and thus perfectly suited for your next thematically-organized video marathon (What? You mean you don’t have those? Start, then, post-haste).

Spoilers ensue.

THE WICKER MAN (1973) — Alright, alright, let’s get it out of the way.  All together now: “KILLING ME WON’T BRING BACK YOUR GODDAMNED HONEY!” There, now there’s a load off.  While the 2006 remake starring Nicholas “Batshit Insanity” Cage is widely lauded as one of the worst movies ever made, the 1973 original is a masterpiece of suspense and understated, elegant horror.

Directed by Robin Hardy from a script by Anthony Shaffer, THE WICKER MAN stars Edward Woodward as Police Sergeant Howie, who has come to the remote island of Summerisle to investigate a missing persons case — a young girl, Rowan Morrison, has allegedly gone missing.  Strangely, however, the natives of Summerisle are reticent to help the Sergant, even asserting that Rowan Morrison never existed.

Howie soon meets with the cheerful, charismatic Lord Summerisle (Christopher Lee, sporting incredible sideburns and a kilt) who rules the island community.  Lord Summerisle makes things perfectly clear for Howie — Summerisle is a pagan community, having rejected Christianity in favor of a purer, older faith, a sort of druidic nature worship as practiced in the British Isles before the coming of the Romans.

Piecing things together, Howie comes to the conclusion that Rowan isn’t missing — she’s scheduled to be sacrificed, burned alive in the Wicker Man, on May Day to ensure a bountiful harvest; and May Day is tomorrow! But can the stuffy, uptight Howie save her…and himself?

To put it bluntly, Brothers and Sisters, this is one of my very few “Perfect Films.”  Everything about this film works for me.  The casting is spot on — Edward Woodward as the stuffy, prudish Christian Howie, Lee as the carefree and jovial Lord Summerisle, Britt Ekland as the sensual, naked, dancing innkeeper’s daughter.  Everyone fits perfectly in their roles.  Costume design is magnificent, set design is glorious, and the music! The music! The music makes this film all the better, readers, with its lilting folk melodies echoing with pagan sentiment.

Before I move on to the next film, I want to leave you with one consideration: Who’s the villain in THE WICKER MAN? The way the story is told leaves the viewer very unsure who to root for. Sergeant Howie is nominally the hero, the British police officer trying to find a young girl who has gone missing. But at the same time, he breaks into buildings, steals film negatives, is generally dislikable and insults and berates the townsfolk for their way of life at every opportunity, a way of life that has, by all accounts, resulted in a fairly idyllic agrarian society under the gentle guidance of the cheerful Lord Summerisle. But at the same time, this idyllic agrarian society conceived and executed a massively complex conspiracy to lure in the appropriate sacrifice. Taking the “Summerisle as Villain” approach results in a fairly straightforward story, but turning it on its head and taking the “Howie as Villain” perspective reminds me of Richard Matheson’s seminal novel I Am Legend. Like Robert Neville, Sergeant Howie is trapped in a world where he is unwelcome, a freakish atavism that no longer has its place.

RAWHEAD REX (1986) — We jump now from a pagan island off the coast of Scotland to the Emerald Isle for this film, written by Clive Barker from a story by Clive Barker, and directed by George Pavlou.  This is actually the film that convinced Clive Barker to get really actively involved in filmmaking, leading to the production of HELLRAISER.

Howard Hallenbeck (David Dukes) is an American in Ireland, photographing churches for a book he’s writing.  In one particular church in a forgotten corner of Eire, he discovers a strange stained glass window, depicting the imprisonment of a hulking demon.  He also encounters a particularly snide verger, Declan O’Brien.  Shortly thereafter, a nearby farmer has a giant, phallic stone monolith removed from his field, resulting in a demon identical to that in the stained glass window erupting from the ground.

This demon, Rawhead Rex, begins his bloody rampage across Ireland — strangely, killing only men.  Women, especially pregnant women, seem to frighten the muscle-bound ogre.  He even eviscerates Hallenbeck’s young son, just moments before Hallenbeck can try to intervene.

It is eventually revealed, through the agency of Verger Declan (who has become a thrall of Rawhead’s, in a truly impressive “baptism by urine” sequence) that this supposed “demon” is something of a forgotten god, having dwelt in Ireland since long before the time of Christ, and his time has come again.  Christian symbolism does nothing to deter Rawhead — because he is the physical embodiment of the Male Principle, of which the Abrahamic God, and by extension Jesus Christ, is a later refinement.  Trying to stop Rawhead with a strongly-brandished crucifix would be like trying to banish Count Orlock by beaning him in the head with a thrown TWILIGHT DVD.

Being pure rampaging testosterone, Rawhead’s one weakness is the Female Principle — he can’t attack pregnant women because he’s terrified of the Almighty Uterus.  But how is Howard Hallenbeck supposed to use that to stop Rawhead’s rampage?

For me, a big part of this film is carried by Ronan Wilmot’s performance as the fanatic, bitter Verger Declan O’Brien.  He gets the best lines of dialogue in the whole film (I’m partial to “Up the stairs, Fuckface.  I don’t want to keep God waiting,” as well as when he screams “FOR YOOOOUUUUUUU! FOR YOOOOUUUUUU!” while setting police cars on fire), he gets half-drowned in Rawhead’s urine, and outside of Rawhead himself, he’s the most memorable character in the film.

Cliver Barker was reportedly largely disappointed at the way his script (and original novella) was toned down for the film, especially in terms of mellowing the sexual, psychological, and religious themes he explored.  In the original story, Rawhead Rex is a giant, enraged penis rampaging through Ireland — an oversized head atop a narrow stem of a body, with a wide slit of a mouth.  That’s how undiluted an embodiment of Male Principle he is.  For the movie, he was transmuted into a Dungeons and Dragons Ogre on steroids.  He even has skull-shaped epaulets.  I want skull-shaped epaulets.  On the other hand, he’s wearing pants, and I just can’t imagine an embodiment of pure masculinity ever being constrained by trousers.  Maybe a kilt, and only for formal occasions, and always free-balling beneath it.  A man’s boys have to breathe, y’know?

THE LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM (1988) — Written and directed by the recently-deceased Ken Russell, adapted from a novel by Bram “Dracula is my only legacy” Stoker, THE LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM is a delirious blend of gothic sensibility, modern sexuality, and trippy, hallucinogenic visuals — in short, an amazingly good time, captured on film.

Angus Flint is a Scottish archaeology student, digging up a plot of land under a bed-and-breakfast in rural England.  He discovers the remains of a pre-Christian temple, and a mysterious, reptilian skull.  That night, at a party thrown by the local Lord, James D’Ampton (Hugh Grant, before he went all RomCom on us), Angus learns the story of the D’Ampton Worm, a serpentine monster reputed to have once terrorized the area, until being slain by Lord John D’Ampton, James’ ancestor.

Meanwhile, not far away, the incredibly sensual Lady Sylvia is stirring.  Learning of the skull, she wants it for herself.  You see, she is the last surviving priestess/coven-member of Dionin, a pre-Christian snake-god that once ruled the area, until its priesthood was slain and temples destroyed by the Roman invaders.  She’s unbelievable, really — every other sentence out of her mouth is innuendo, and she’s something of an ophidian version of a vampire — she has a disturbing tendency to sprout two-inch fangs during sexy-times, even delivering an envenomed bite to a young man’s tallywhacker.  I didn’t cringe as much as I did watching the cock-biting scene in TOKYO GORE POLICE, but it’s close enough.

The skull Angus found is something of a holy relic to the Dionin cult, which Lady Sylvia is restarting.  And most importantly, the reborn serpent god Dionin needs a tasty, tasty virgin sacrifice to regain his old power…and Eve Trent, one of the co-owners of the bed-and-breakfast Angus dug up, is absolutely suitable.  Can Angus (in a kilt, natch) and Lord James crush the power of the White Worm once and for all?

All the uncomfortable sexuality left unspoken in RAWHEAD REX is brought right out in the open in LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM.  From the paralytic blowjob to the S&M fetish gear Lady Sylvia lounges around in to the fact that she puts on a spear-headed strap-on to sacrifice Eve to Dionin…Seriously, the strap-on is one of the most terrifying pieces of fetish gear I’ve ever seen, and I’ve made the rounds on the Internet.

Additionally, every sort of serpent reference possible is crammed into this film — Lady Sylvia and a hitchhiker play “Snakes and Ladders” (the traditional name of Chutes and Ladders), she sucks the venom out of a policeman’s leg after he’s bitten (though she makes a thrall of him in the process), and of course the very fact that a virgin named Eve is being sacrificed to a very phallic serpentine god.  It’s really incredibly thorough in terms of snake references.

Actually, I think what I enjoyed most was the very clear reference to one of my favorite old English legends — that of the Lambton Worm. According to legend (and recounted via incredible rock/techno/morris dancing at Lord James’ party), John Lambton was a dissolute, impious youth, who went fishing on Sunday when he should have been in church. He hooked an ugly little eel-like creature and, not liking the look of it, he threw it down a well. He grew up, went off to fight in the Crusades…meanwhile, the worm grew too, and eventually slithered out of the well and began eating livestock and children. Any attempt to kill it failed as its flesh knitted back together as quickly as it was cut. Returning home from the Crusades, John Lambton realized this was his fault, and sets out to destroy the beast, using specially-designed bladed armor. He fights the Worm in the same river he originally caught it in, and the snaky thing, coiling around him, cuts itself to ribbons and the pieces are carried away by the river before they can reconnect. Unfortunately, the slaying of the worm brings a curse — John must kill the first living being he sees, or his family will be cursed for nine generations to never die at home in their beds. Well, upon returning home, the first living being John sees is his father, whom he will not cut down. And the Lambton family was so cursed for nine generations…or so the story goes, at any rate.

***

There you have it.  Three disparate films, linked by the common theme of pagan survivals lingering to the modern day in the British Isles.  All three of which, I should add, are well worth a watch — THE WICKER MAN perhaps most of all, but all of them are treats in their own special ways.

With the ample amount of mistakes made by Netflix lately, it is good to know genre film fans can still find the goods that are being provided.  Like so many of you, I stream Netflix through my trust ol’ Play Station 3 to get a look at those movies in between that I may have missed.  Sometimes it yields fantastic results, other times…not so much.

Instead of writing up lengthy, long-winded reviews that you probably wouldn’t give a shit about, I’ve decided to do a little round up of films I’ve watch recently that I found intriguing (this can mean intriguing in a good or “WTF?!” way).  Take a look-see and maybe add them to your line-up.

CHILLERAMA:  I think we’ve all heard plenty about this movie lately.  It’s well-deserved attention.  Adam Green, Joe Lynch, Adam Rifkin, and Tim Sullivan are names that horror fans are well aware of.  They’ve pulled their collective gross-out together for an anthology filled with Were-Bears, man-eating sperm, crazy Kosher Frankenstein, and horny zombies.  Each section is sandwiched in the “movie within a movie”  that ties its loose ends together quite nicely.  Those characters are likable geeks paying homage to their dying drive-in when all hell breaks loose.  Imagine if Zucker & Abrahams had made a horror anthology with John Waters, and you’ve pretty much summed up what Chillerama is all about.  They capture all the best parts about watching shitty sleaze flicks and toss it in a blender with their own horror sensibilities.  The end result is one of this year’s most fun horror films.  There’s something for everyone here.  It was MADE for/by horror geeks and those same geeks are going to be watching this one for years to come.  When it pops up on all the “Best Of” lists, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

UNTIL THE LIGHT TAKES US:  Usually, I leave all the black metal dealings up to Mahlon, but I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to watch this documentary. Filmmakers Aaron Aites and Audrey Ewell moved to Norway for 2 years where they collected many interviews and were able to delve into the “misunderstood” world of black metal.  UTLTU gives you access into the Inner Circle (apparently, that’s what these nitwits refer to themselves as) of this odd music scene/culture.  I’ve never been one to take these black metal assholes seriously and this film did not change that.  It did, however, give us a fascinating look into counter culture gone haywire.

For those of you who are not familiar with the Nordic black metal scene, this doc will give you all the details.  Murder, church burnings, suicide, and obsessive allegiance are the foundation of this scene’s legacy now, and the documentary uncovers the stories behind that.  One of my biggest fears was that this film would glorify the senseless mindset that drives this scene, but instead it showed the human side of their error-ridden ways.  Quite honestly, the biggest theme I took from this was that music is secondary to whatever the hell else these nutballs in pancake make-up are doing.  That point is made quite clear by the reaction to the more “commercially” successful bands who’ve been an offshoot of this scene ala’ Satyricon and Cradle of Filth.   They aren’t evil enough, or something.  I don’t know-I haven’t quite figured out if these cats are supposed to be evil or militant or…whatever.  At any rate, it’s a fascinating story for fans of true crime and weird subcultures that goes beyond the history of Mayhem, Emperor, and Burzum/Varg Vikernes and shows you how these individuals function day to day.  Riveting stuff.

HACK!:  I’m not here to convince you this movie is amazing.  In fact, it’s kind of a shitball.  But it’s a FUN shitball!  Take Winnie Cooper from The Wonder Years, but make her all bookish and collegiate.  Next, throw in her crush who happens to be an impossibly handsome young man (who’s probably been on a soap opera or an ABC Family movie).  Then, you round out your cast with racially and sexually driven stereotypes and pepper in auspiciously named characters (Dr. Argento?) AND ne’erdowells-POOF!  You have a horror film!  Not a great horror film.  Hell, not even a good one, but a horror film nonetheless.

So, they go to this island for a class assignment, the people who live their are obsessed with horror films, and the end result is lots of blood and guts, blah, blah, blah.  It’s got more stereotypes than I care to ackowledge.  So, why am I talking about this film?  Well, because I’m trying to be honest here.  It’s a pretty funny movie.  It appears as though the filmmaker knew exactly what he was doing.  He gathered up some familiar faces (the aforementioned Danica McKellar, William Forsythe, Sean Kanan, Travis Schuldt, and Burt Young to name a few), whipped up sold old fashioned tongue-in-cheek-nod-to-my-heroes, and made a silly ass slasher flick with lots of swear words and gore.  I can’t think of a single one of my horror lovin’ friends who cant find at least one laugh in this movie.  It was made to be entertaining and HACK! is just that.  Recommended with beer and friends.

KIDNAPPED:  Before I get into the flick, I do need to address one thing with Netflix.  Stop putting English-dubbed streams up for viewing.  If I’m seeking out a foreign horror film, there’s a good possibility I was prepared to read subtitles.  Your butthole-ish version sucks the emotion out of a very intense film.

Okay, now onto to the matter at hand.  Kidnapped tells the story of a very well off family’s first night in their new home.  Instead of a celebrating a wonderful evening together, they are victim of a vicious break-in by 3 masked Eastern European gentlemen.  What appears to be a routine scary robbery turns into so much more and explodes with a climax that had me sitting up in my chair.  The violence is comparable to Irreversible and Martyrs, with its very realistic approach.  There are several moments of desperation where you feel anxiety taking over you, as your hoping for the best for these characters-even though you know the end result is going to be catastrophic.  The plight of the main characters is obvious, but you still don’t want it to happen.  One chaotic moment will  be silenced by cuts to calm, disjointed conversations between one of the victims and his captor.  Kidnapped is a flick well-versed in the concept of misery.  It actually lets you believe something good will happen.  But it doesn’t…at all.  If you find yourself in the mood for something aggressive and challenging, fire this up.  However, if you’d like to avoid awful overdubs, perhaps DVD would be the route to go.  Either way, Kidnapped is a great film.

I’m gonna tell you that this short trailer for this short film definitely has me hooked.  Don’t blink or you’ll miss just how crystal cool this one is. We’ll let you know when we’ve perused the short and can offer a more informed opinion. All they’d need is another 14 minutes and 29 seconds of bad ass and they’ll have a winner in my book. I assure you this is not The Other from 1972 so take you psychological horror and introduce it to what might be a Cronenberg-esque adventure into the body.

The trailer for “OTHER” is now live on the film’s official website.

Trailer:
http://other-themovie.com/trailer.html

About:
“OTHER” is a 15 minute short sci-fi/horror film from Daniel DelPurgatorio, director of Watchmen: Tales of the Black Freighter. It was produced by Vitamin in Chicago, IL.

Synopsis:
Patrick is a brilliant doctor, in an obsessive race to alter his own grim prognosis. During a series of unconventional experiments, he discovers a scientific loophole unlike anything he had ever imagined. In pursuit of this dark prize, Patrick will risk everything to ensure he sees his experiment to the end…even if it means accepting the sinister results.

Premiere:
“OTHER” will be having it’s world premiere on Thursday, December 15, 2011 at The Den Theatre in Chicago, IL. The free screening will be open to the public on a first come, first serve basis. The event will be held at 7:00pm and will feature the entire cast and crew of the film.

Full Schedule thus far:

Premiere Party
Thursday December 15, 2011 at 7:00PM
The Den Theatre
1333 North Milwaukee Avenue 2nd Floor Chicago, IL 60622

The Chicago Art Institute
Tuesday December 13, 2011 at 6:00PM
Art Institute Loop Campus
180 N. Wabash, Screening Room 129 Chicago, IL 60603

The 2012 Texas Frightmare Weekend
Friday May 4 – Sunday May 6, 2012
Hyatt Regency DFW
2334 N. International Parkway Dallas, TX 75261
The Texas Frightmare Weekend
 

Ever wonder what American Giallo would look like? Maybe you’ve seen something in recent cinema history that might qualify (there are a few). Say hello to a new effort from Cinephreak Pictures that just might have what you’ve been looking for. Let’s hope for the American equivalent of Goblin (would that be Dream Theater?).

THREE TEARS ON BLOODSTAINED FLESH is a modern, Midwesternized spin on the giallo. It tells the tale of a man with a sordid past who returns to the small town he’s long since abandoned to bury his niece. Convinced she was murdered, he begins digging around the town and in the process uncovers their dark secrets, which include a deranged cult and a high body count.

THREE TEARS stars Bill Gobin, Jim Dougherty (SCALENE), Kayla Crance (EAST OF NOWHERE), Angela Steele (IDIOT GORE), Scott Ganyo (SHADE OF GREAY, OBSOLESCENCE), Rosalind Rubin (12 ROUNDS, CLEANER) and Jim O’Rear (DAY OF THE DEAD, PSYCHO IV)

Follow production on Facebook if you can find the Mid-Western equivalent of black leather gloves.

I personally hold the original Fright Night in high esteem. It is one of those films that really clicks with me and is one that I can watch numerous times without getting bored. It has everything that I could want in a film of this caliber by including sex, gore, comedy, vampires, and nudity. As trivial as that may sound, it’s the way they are presented that makes it work. Even though Fright Night is essentially a horror film, it never takes itself too seriously and never gets stuck in some pointless subplot. While I was living in Australia, my girlfriend and I were able to see it in a theater on a 35mm print. I can proudly admit that I turned her on to one of the greater films of the 80s. Fright Night represents that era perfectly with its aesthetics (the club scene) as well as the way that films were made back then. Dialogue heard in that film is not constructed that way anymore in scripts and though many of films of that era had the same template, there is something very authentic about how Fright Night goes about it.

So now what? Tom Holland is not interested in doing a sequel, or at least not interested in the job of directing (he would be more than happy to sell those characters) but there is still a market for a follow up film. Tommy Lee Wallace (It, H3: Season of the Witch), a friend of John Carpenter, is offered the role and so goes the wheel of movie making. Fright Night: Part 2 is contiguous with the story of the first film bringing back William Ragsdale as Charley Brewster (YOU’RE SO COOL) and Roddy McDowall as the vampire killer, Peter Vincent.

It has been 3 years since the horrible incident at Jerry Dandridge’s house and we find Charlie undergoing psychiatric treatment because everyone is convinced that he is insane (vampires don’t exist, guys). These are the college days now and Charlie is seeing a new girl by the name Alex (Traci Lind) who is aware of Charlie’s fear of vampires but being a psychology major, passes it off as some form of delusion.

There is a large amount of psychological elements within Fright Night: Part 2, which I think is something interesting to look at for a moment. Charlie is seen as a borderline lunatic by most everyone except Peter Vincent. Peter is back at his old job on T.V. but his co-workers think he has lost his mind because he constantly talks about that one violent night. The heroes of the last film have become vilified in the second installment as people who are running around with delusions about destroying evil and conquering vampires. Charlie is told that he killed his best friend because Evil Ed (the friend) was helping his serial killer neighbor who Charlie manifested into a vampire. His mind justified his murderous actions because they were vampires and not real people. This is not the case though, it’s just that the rest of the world does not believe in vampires and could not stomach the idea of people turning into wolves or bats. I just love the reasoning of the non-believers in the film, much like the first, Charlie’s new girlfriend tries to rationalize everything and it’s not till she is attacked that she believes.

Watch this clip for the attack and to see Peter Vincent get taken to the nut-house (it’s rather complicated why he does).

It should be noted that the effects are more over-the-top this time around.

Anyways, I just found the emphasis on vilifying the heroes as an interesting take the second time around. It reminded me a bit of the Ghostbusters sequel, where the heroes have zero notoriety or respect for past actions.

Back to the story. Upon visiting Peter Vincent one night, Charlie looks out the window to see a black limo pull up to the apartment complex and watches guys wheeling boxes into the building on hand-trucks. He immediately remembers Jerry’s house and how the same thing happened, but on a smaller scale. This is not a spoiler, but it turns out there are three vampires moving in with their human handler. The head vampire-mistress is named Regine and she is the sister of Jerry and is out for blood (har har). Her goal is to slowly turn Charlie into a vampire, but Charlie has so much to deal with already (girlfriend, best friend, school, killing his friend 3 years ago, OH MY!).

The story follows a similar path as the first but on a much grander scale. Sure, each character is trying to convince another of the presence of vampires and in doing so gets into some trouble with the authorities but in a true sequel fashion, the stakes (hahahaha) are higher. The level or gore is greater as well as the laughs. It seems that the humor along with the horror were doubled. I would easily compare the two films to the first two Evil Dead films, where the first laid down the framework and the second improved on that formula. I wouldn’t say the series are similar in themes or that one is better than the other, but they do follow the same formulas. There is one scene in particular that had me rolling and it involves a vampire on roller skates, yes, you heard right, roller skates. Watch below:

OH YEAH!

Aside from the gore and horror/comedy moments. There are some great scenes involving the vampires during their downtime. One scene has the group going to a bowling ally, killing the owners, and hanging out there for the night. It’s a goofy scene but is effective in portraying the vampires doing something else other than annoying Charlie. Watch below:

Fright Night: Part 2 represented the golden age of horror in the goofiest yet most authentic way possible. I may still love the first installment better because of the novelty, but there is something to be said about the sequel.

I don’t want to ruin any major plot points in this film because I know this is hard to get on DVD and many of you may not have had the chance to see this gem. I guess the point of my post is maybe a call to arms to get this film re-distributed and brought to Blu-Ray or something. I don’t consider this one of the ALL TIME GREATEST FILMS EVER MADE but I think it’s one of the better ones and deserves more attention. I know there are some critics who have come around on realizing how great Fright Night: Part 2 actually is and maybe we can join the fight. I hope all of you, at one point of another get a chance to see this. Till then, YOU’RE SO COOL!

Be warned. This post is NSFW and if that’s the case your job sucks, and you should quit to work somewhere you can read my ramblings without fear of termination.

That being stated, here is a short film, or rather I guess commercial, that you’d never quite expect to make heads or tails of unless you were related to Matthew Barney, had Madonna’s old wardrobe, and a penchant for Horror movies. From Epoch Films of London and Agent Provocateur, something wicked this way comes…

Agent Provocateur presents “Les Fleurs du Mal” a film directed by Justin Anderson  and produced by Epoch Films.  This short film is to celebrate the launch of Soiree Collection 2011-2012.

Written and directed by Justin Anderson, the short definitely invokes inspirations from many a Slasher film into something undauntedly sexy and unnerving, like a secret fetish you hide and wish someone would find out about and be into it too. And really folks, that’s why they invented the Internet. You can draw allusions to vampires, or zombies, or whatever, just keep your pants on. Agent Provocateur has always been on the forefront of bridging old school Burlesque styles with modern comfort and contemporary design. To prove that point they commissioned Epoch Films for this little spot to showcase their 2011-2012 lingerie line. This is where you wheel Grandma in front of the room before hitting play.

Being that the Internet is falling prey to politicians looking to get re-elected through electronic censorship and questionable online content, there is the possibility that it is viewable only from the Vimeo site which you can click here. It’s interesting to see sex and simulated violence still used to sell you something.

What do you think? Chime in with an opinion, boils and ghouls. It would be very interesting to hear from both sides of the chromosome sets.

Is this clever or sexist? Has marketing and viral videos finally gone too far? Have we forgotten what art is supposed to look like? Is Sexy the new Scary or maybe, it’s the other way around…?

For those interested the song featured is “Gay Ninja” by Omaha Bitch.

Click here for Agent Provocatuer’s suggestions on the perfect Christmas gift.

Coming January 10, 2012 from our lovelies at Synapse comes a a new a piece of Japanese horror in the style of Scream and The Ring (their words not mine).  We’ll keep you posted when we finally get a look at Gurozuka and see if it can transcend the sub-genre cliches to make this a truly special film… Or maybe it’ll just be a fun tripped out z-job of a film that removes the distance between you and your significant other.  Keep your ultra super long, messy black hair crossed (ya know… like the girl from Ringu).

A fun getaway turns into a journey to Hell for some unlucky teenage girls visiting an isolated house to rehearse and perform a play for their private movie club. Taking the trip with an adult chaperone, the girls learn that a previous club member supposedly went missing in the house, and another went insane! Shortly after they arrive, a mysterious videotape is found with footage of a violent killer wearing a Japanese ‘deigan’ mask. Is this footage faked—or real? Soon the girls’ food and equipment disappear, and one of the girls is hauned by ghostly visions of the masked demon. Someone–or something–is in the house, and gruesome death awaits those who cannot escape!

Synapse Films presents Yôichi Nishiyama’sGUROZUKA, a stylized horror film in the J-Horror tradition of the genre-bending Japanese classic,
THE RING, and the frightful ferver of SCREAM.

Special Features:

• The Making of GUROZUKA – Featurette
• Original Trailer

Disc Info:

Director: Yôichi Nishiyama
Starring: Nozomi Andô, Yukari Fukui, and Yûko Itô
Run Time: 85 minutes
Release Date: January 10, 2012
Language: Japanese Language / 2.0 Stereo
Subtitles: English
Aspect Ratio: Anamorphic widescreen (1.85:1)
Format: DVD
Region: Region 1

Price: $24.95

Greetings, Brothers and Sisters of the Psychotronic Video World.  Today I’d like to bring you something that Wes and I have been discussing for a little bit.  We’ve been thinking about all the amazing people who have been involved in our favorite movies — especially in the sleazy, trashy, sexy world of Exploitation cinema.  In discussing people to chronicle, the first name that came to our minds was that of Pam Grier.  While Wes already said a fine few words on the One-Woman Hit Squad, I’ve got a piece to say as well.

Pamela Suzette “Pam” Grier (born May 26th, 1949) was born in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, to a nurse mother and an Air Force mechanic father.  With her father’s military career, she moved frequently as a child, eventually settling in Denver, Colorado, where she performed in a number of stage plays in high school, and performed in beauty contests to fund her college education.

in 1967, Grier moved to Los Angeles, where she became a receptionist for American International Pictures.  In 1970, she had her first film appearance, an extra in Russ Meyer’s BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS (scripted by Roger Ebert, showing that at one point he was not above exploitation cinema, as his frequent dismissal of horror films would suggest).  In 1971, she was “discovered” By Jack Hill, who cast her as opportunistic inmate “Grear” in his Women-in-Prison film THE BIG DOLL HOUSE, filmed in the Philippines for Roger Corman.  Upon the success of THE BIG DOLL HOUSE, almost immediately Corman turned around and green-lighted another WiP flick, Gerry de Leon’s WOMEN IN CAGES, in which Grier starred as “Alabama,” a sadistic lesbian prison warden, and sporting the best damn afro I’ve seen in many a year.  A year later, she appeared in another Jack Hill WiP film, the semi-satirical THE BIG BIRD CAGE, in which she played the rough-yet-sensual “Blossom” opposite Sid Haig’s rowdy guerrilla “Django.”  in 1973, she starred as Lee in Eddie Romero’s BLACK MAMA, WHITE MAMA, another Philippines production, and something of a gender-reversed Exploitation take on THE DEFIANT ONES, in which she spent the majority of the film chained to Margaret Markov.

When the WiP well dried up, Grier soon found work in more traditional (well, a tradition dating back to 1971) Blaxploitation flicks.  1973 saw her starring as a voodoo priestess opposite William Marshall in SCREAM, BLACULA, SCREAM! (gad, I love it when film titles have exclamation points in them!).

Also in 1973, Grier got her biggest break yet.  She played the title role in COFFY, the story of a nurse-turned-vigilante, out for revenge after her younger sister becomes addicted to heroin.  The film opens with her removing a drug supplier’s face with a point-blank blast from a sawed-off shotgun, and continues through her one-woman war on the drug trade, posing as a prostitute to infiltrate the corruption that exists in her city.  The role cemented Grier as a symbol of both strength and sensuality; she turns you on, and if you piss her off, she snuffs you out.  I’d go so far as to call Pam Grier as Coffy the earliest female action hero, predating Ellen Ripley by six years.

Grier played similar strong women in FRIDAY FOSTER, FOXY BROWN, and SHEBA, BABY.  Also in the mix was THE ARENA, an astonishing little sword-and-sandal film in which Grier played a gladiator in ancient Rome, who pairs with a rival (Margaret Markov again) in order to survive.  That’s right, Brothers and Sisters, Pam Grier in a chainmail bikini.  Love it.

With the eventual demise of Blaxploitation as a profitable subgenre of film, Grier’s career also faded somewhat, though she never went quietly into obscurity, and continued to work.

In the 1980s, Grier appeared in such films as the cop drama FORT APACHE, THE BRONX, Disney’s SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES, Steven Seagal vehicle ABOVE THE LAW, universally-panned comedy THE ALLNIGHTERS, and political thriller THE PACKAGE, demonstrating the broadness of her range as an actress.  She also had recurring roles on television, including on MIAMI VICE and CRIME STORY.

In the 1990s, she could be seen in such films as CLASS OF 1999, MARS ATTACKS!, BILL AND TED’S BOGUS JOURNEY, and ESCAPE FROM L.A.  However, in 1997, Pam Grier took the spotlight again, playing the starring role in Quentin Tarantino’s ode to Blaxploitation, JACKIE BROWN.  Once again, Pam Grier came out on top, demonstrating the audiences that she’d lost none of her sensuality or raw power in the past two decades.

She’s worked fairly consistently in the decade and a half since JACKIE BROWN, ranging from roles in films such as IN TOO DEEP, SNOW DAY, GHOSTS OF MARS and THE ADVENTURES OF PLUTO NASH (Was she in desperate need of some quick cash when she agreed to appear in this?) to television roles such as recurring appearances on SMALLVILLE and LAW AND ORDER: SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT as well as THE L WORD.

More recently, in 2010, Grier released her autobiography, Foxy: My Life in Three Acts.

***

Pam Grier is a living legend, a towering, smoldering Amazon of overwhelming sensuality and steel-eyed strength, an irresistible icon of cinema who’s classed up every film she’s touched, exploding out of the grindhouse to take mainstream cinema by storm.  She’s an undeniable Queen of Film, and this is my tribute to the Queen.

Greetings, Brothers and Sisters of the Psychotronic Video World.  One might think that my last foray into reviewing documentaries might lead me to shy away from doing so again, but MACHETE MAIDENS UNLEASHED! is no cheapo piece of shit public domain clipart slideshow with stuttering narration.  MACHETE MAIDENS UNLEASHED!, written and directed by Mark Hartley of NOT QUITE HOLLYWOOD fame, is a suave, slick, stylish piece of informative documentary filmmaking showcasing the weird, wild, woolly and wet world of Exploitation Cinema, as produced in the Philippines in the 1960s, 70s and 80s.

MACHETE MAIDENS starts off with a brief history of the Filipino Film Industry, beginning immediately after World War II, leading up to the first Filipino-lensed horror films — the Blood Island Trilogy: BRIDES OF BLOOD, THE MAD DOCTOR OF BLOOD ISLAND, and BEAST OF BLOOD.

Scenting money like a shark scents blood, it wasn’t long before Roger Corman arrived in Manila with a couple of fine foxy ladies and a camera, ready to make some money — I mean some films.  And thus, THE BIG DOLL HOUSE was born, revitalizing the Women-in-Prison subgenre with a hefty dose of tropical honey.  Then came WOMEN IN CAGES and THE BIG BIRD CAGE.  Tiring of WIP flicks, Corman then traded in the prison jumpsuits for military uniforms, producing a series of subversive “revolutionary” pictures like THE HOT BOX, BLACK MAMA WHITE MAMA, and SAVAGE SISTERS.  Then came the Filipino Blaxploitation flicks, SAVAGE! and T.N.T. JACKSON.

Along the way we’re treated to stories of Filipino exploitation filmmakers such as Eddie Romero, Cirio H. Santiago and Bobby Suarez, as well as the personal reminisces of R. Lee Ermey (and his commentary on APOCALYPSE NOW is a riot), Sid Haig, Roger Corman, Joe Dante, John Landis (oh, how I want to hang out on his couch and watch movies with him…), Andrea Cagan, Gloria Hendry, Margaret Markov, Pete Tombs, Patrick Wayne, Joseph Zucchero and many more.

Some highlights of the documentary (besides R. Lee Ermey’s blasting of APOCALYPSE NOW) include…

• Weng Weng.  If you aren’t familiar with this three-foot tall disco-dancing midget Filipino James Bond, go get your greasy paws on FOR Y’UR HEIGHT ONLY and THE IMPOSSIBLE KID right freaking now.
• Tits.  There is a ton of deliciously prurient T & A in a lot of the films shot in the Philippines, and MACHETE MAIDENS UNLEASHED! does not shy away from showing you them in all their luscious bouncy glory.
• Sid Haig complaining that his chemistry with Pam Grier was so good, the filmmakers just kept heaping naked women on him.
• Feminist Context and Deeper Meaning.  A lot of the women who acted in these sleazy Filipino WIP flicks walked about how they were seen as icons of feminine empowerment because Hollywood sure as hell wasn’t making action movies with female leads during this time.  Also check out John Landis’ commentary on people who seek meaningful themes and messages in the black, greasy hearts of exploitation films.
• The whole freaking thing.  Seriously, go see MACHETE MAIDENS UNLEASHED! You owe it to yourself.

And now, I leave you with Weng Weng.

Kudos (the snack bar) to Lucky McKee and crew for the much deserved win at the Night Visions Film Festival in Finland. I had some very nice things to say about this picture this year. Rising over Hobo with a Shotgun and Kevin Smith’s Red State is absolutely no easy feat. Aall of these films deserve the nod they received. Full story below, and if you haven’t checked out the review here on the Sprayer you have one of two options: 1. Read the review and see the movie because you really should in spite of how poorly I write. 2. Skip the review, see the movie and tell all your friends to the see movie and then see the movie again… somebody needs to write a death metal song about this book/movie. Get on that. Oh, and see the movie. Congrats again!

THE WOMAN, director Lucky McKee’s merciless evisceration of the traditional American family values has won the Night Visions Audience Award 2011 at the Night Visions Film Festival in Helsinki, Finland. This marks the second time in a row – and the second time ever – that the award goes to a North American feature with a distribution deal already in place in the territory. The first one to break the barrier was MACHETE, directed by Robert Rodriguez and Ethan Maniquis, that went on to win the award in October 2010.

Night Visions Film Festival, the biggest and the oldest film festival in Finland focusing on horror, fantasy and cult cinema, was now celebrating its 15th consequtive year. The Night Visions Audience Award was established in 2008 to increase the recognition of new horror and fantasy cinema in Finland and to improve the availability and distribution of contemporary genre films in the territory. The Night Visions Audience Award is voted on site at the screenings by the audience and it is given out every year at the end of the Fall edition of the Night Visions Film Festival.

A total of 20 feature films and documentaries released in years 2010 and 2011 – and all having their Finnish premiere at the festival – were eligible for the Night Visions Audience Award 2011. North America was dominating the top three of the vote. The first runner-up for the award was the Rutger Hauer starring vigilante sensation HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN (Canada 2011) by Jason Eisener. The second runner-up was RED STATE (USA 2011), Kevin Smith’s no-holds-barred take on religious extremists of small town America. Other major contestants included the controversial Asian schlockfest 3-D SEX AND ZEN: EXTREME ECSTASY (Hong Kong 2011), Matthijs van Heiningen Jr.’s anticipated crowd pleaser THE THING (USA/Canada 2011) and RABIES, the first ever horror movie to come out of Israel, directed by Aharon Keshales and Navot Papushado.

Arranged from October 26th to October 30th, 2011, the Night Visions Film Festival also reached an amazing all-time high in its admission figures. The total of over 8 000 admissions showed an increase of over 50 per cent from the October 2010 edition of the event. The most popular feature of the festival was the stunningly authentic H.P. Lovecraft adaptation THE WHISPERER IN DARKNESS (USA 2011), directed by Sean Branney. Branney was also one of the guests of honor of the festival, along with the Italian grandmaster of exploitation cinema Mr. Enzo G. Castellari and a number of other international and local filmmaker guests.

Just in case you wanted to read this in Finnish (from the Night Visions description of The Woman… I have no idea what it says beyond the partial American translation):

Nyt pärähtää! Ylistetty genrekirjailija Jack Ketchum (The Girl Next Door, Offspring, Red) sekä ohjaajalupaus Lucky McKee ovat luoneet jotain täysin poikkeuksellista, älykästä ja julmaa. Night Visions esittää tuoreeltaan ylpeänä elokuvan, josta puhutaan vielä pitkään.

The Woman porautuu syvälle periamerikkalaisen perheen ytimeen ja paljastaa kiiltävän pinnan alla kytevät sysimustat salaisuudet. Tarinan tärkein toimija on luotettu lakimies ja perheen pää Christopher Cleek (Sean Bridges), joka törmää metsästysreissullaan luolassa asuvaan villinaiseen (Pollyanna McIntosh). Kaiken hyvän nimissä ja sivullisia suojellakseen mies päättää vangita villin ja kouluttaa siitä salonkikelpoisen. Muu perhe ihmettelee isän toimia, mutta antaa hänelle kaiken tukensa.

Sundance-festivaalilla tammikuussa 2011 maailmanensi-iltansa saanut The Woman kirvoitti ylisanoja viimeksi Ruotsissa, kun se voitti Lundin kauhuelokufestivaalin kansainvälisen tuomariston pääpalkinnon syyskuun lopussa. Jury kiittii tapaa, jolla elokuva esittää kysymyksiä humaanisuudesta sekä sitä, että teos herättää huomiota turvautumatta itsestäänselviin shokeerauskonsteihin.

Herkkänahkaisten kannattaa joka tapauksessa olla varuillaan, sillä The Womanin perusteltu väkivalta on sanalla sanoen hurjaa. Tulkinta riippuu tulokulmasta: kokonaisuuden voi nähdä yhtä lailla feministisenä kuin misogynistisenakin kauhuelokuvana. Keskustelua se herättää takuuvarmasti.

To quote Public Image Ltd… this is what you want, this is what you get.

Festival website:
www.nightvisions.info

What are you crazy horror boys and girls doing in the Los Angeles area come November 12th? Road beers? Hanging out in front of the convenient store of your choice? Sitting in front of an illuminated screen displaying images of blood, gore, carnage and S-E-X? Well not anymore! No sir (ma’am). You are cordially invited to a reading engagement involving two completely bad ass works that bear significant alt culture, horror brand merit. By Bizarre Hands (see below for details) and Suckerfish (see below for details)!  Get your ass in the seat an support some folks that are really trying something just a little different. You’re always saying how you want something different, well here’s your chance. Free. Seating limited… PARKING IN THE BACK! (you’ll never know how important info like that can be).

Some details from the press release so you know what it is your in for and how to direct your buttocks to the correct locale.

Los Angeles fans of horror fiction will be treated to a rare opportunity as Thomas Jane and Damian Maffei present and star in the world premiere reading engagement of By Bizarre Hands and Suckerfish.  The two will be joined onstage by Kaitlin Doubleday (Hung, CSI, Brothers and Sisters) and newcomer Karina Elias at this free event, which takes place at The Steve Allen Theater on Saturday, November 12th at 8pm.

By Bizarre Hands is a one act play by award winning author Joe R. Lansdale.  The play tells the tale of a preacher going door to door, finding a little girl and her mother on Halloween, and their realization that the preacher isn’t exactly who he claims to be. By Bizarre Hands will be directed by renowned novelist/filmmaker Terrill Lee Lankford and produced by Kasey Lansdale.

Suckerfish, the classic dark existential play by W.T. Underwood, will be presented under Thomas Jane’s direction and Kasey Lansdale’s production. Suckerfish tells the tale of Hank, a Member of Society who merely wishes to be rescued from the grips of a city street corner and the epic homeless man, police officer, and dwindling grip on reality that stand in his way.

This is a staged reading, a unique opportunity to see the raw creation of this theatrical event in a relaxed environment, and a chance to be involved in something during its creative development.

With just 99 seats available, this will be an intimate gathering with a feedback session to follow.

For more information, please contact:

The Steve Allen Theater

4773 Hollywood Blvd.,

Hollywood, CA 90027

Phone: (323) 666-4268

Email: info AT steveallentheater.com

Parking lot behind building

For our last installment of our trilogy of pieces focusing on the mighty Exhumed Films Horror-thon extravaganza we decided to give you a special treat. All images in this entry will be in 3-D!!! That’s right folks. Break out your cyan/red 3-D glasses and view some images never before seen in the third dimension.  Some quick notes before we begin: Make sure the blue lens is over your right eye. Try to stay about two feet from your monitor for optimal viewing. You may need to wait a second or two for your eyes to adjust to the awe inspiring third dimension (because you don’t see in it every day right?).  Also, you might consider turning off the lights and clicking on each image to isolate each one. Some folks are biological unable to use anaglyphic 3-D glasses so this may not be your cup of treacle. Please enjoy and have fun. Don’t know where to find retro 3-D glasses, drop us a line and we’ll help you out.

By now you should be well aware of my adoration for a little horror movie marathon put on by Exhumed Films. We have recapped some of the previous year and given you some of the basic underlying principles of the horror-thon. We’ve let you in on some of the more important rules and traditions. We’ve even heard from Dan Fraga himself, one of the four horseman of horror-thoning. I would like to tell you a tale of a boy and his horror-thon. The fifth of its kind, the Exhumed Films 24 Hour Horror-thon was as magnificent a time as one might have in the pits of  a theater with some three hundred dedicated horror fans eating vegan food; that’s a pretty special image for most of you. I’m still amazed that horror fans eat vegan food. I guess we watch enough gore to force leafy greens into our diets, but I digress. 2011. The New Beginning. Let’s go!

If you remember anything about the weekend of October 28th, 2011 and live in the Northeast most likely you remember that we received a foot or more of snow in many locations. What you further remember was that the leaves remained on all the trees, ever so green and very well equipped to catch and hold snow. What you further may remember was NO POWER! That’s right. PA, NJ, NY and beyond were swattled ever so gently and viciously with an intense and furious dump of snow that took down branches and trees leaving our homes black as pitch. My own dear, pregnant wife was in NJ while I sat in Philadelphia as branches fell around our house and threatened to take down one or two neighbors’ residences. During the marathon I was sent pictures of the damage as it happened, warm in my theater but absolutely shocked at the furor of mother nature. By morning the snow had gone, but many friends of mine were left without power or heat during an arctic blast. This lasted for up to a week in some cases. There’s something special about an October doomsday snow fall. It’s even more special when work and school are eventually cancelled on your favorite holiday, Halloween. I think we’re all still trying to recover from that storm, but that weekend is cemented in my mind like few in recent memory.  The show went off without a major hitch. The snow really missed Philly. The only thing we had to fear was sleep itself.  The Exhumed 24 Hour Horror-thon had me!

I do not believe there is any better venue to host a marathon of this caliber than the i-House (that’s the International House to the unbelievers) in Philadelphia. This place accomdates some of the most dedicated, smelliest and ruckus bunch of  fun loving fans and does it gracefully. This is the first year that I was forced to find one of their sleeping/quiet rooms and doze off. I’m not sure that it was due to the film selection per say although I’m not going to give Dr. Black and Mr. Hyde the highest of marks. I found that the first half of the night was filled with movies that were filled with such energy, such applause worthy material that I tired myself out while simply sitting in my seat: laughing, clapping, cheering. If you need to venture into the “quiet room” it’ll be after several hours of an Exhumed Horror-thon. How many movie marathons can boast secluded, darkened sleeping rooms (to enter at your own risk)?

There were some standard vendors this year inclucluding the Grindcore House who introduce me to Seitan, vegetarian wheat meat and not the dark lord.  If you need a pick me up at 4am and you’re at a 24 hour horror movie marathon you need Grindcore House’s coffee. You don’t even know how bad you need it until you’ve had it. I speak from personal experience. Diabolik DVD was on hand with a nice variety of DVD’s, Blu Ray and VHS including one copy of Arrow’s release of The Beyond which I procured, watched and adored.  Diabolik seems to bring their A game to events like these. They’ve got everything from hard to find Euro titles to unreleased VHS to DVD transfers not to mention plenty of Blu Ray to go around. I almost walked away with a copy of VHS/DVD release of House of the Devil. I saved my money for some of their posters from past and present horror-thons and a T-shirt from a previous year. I’ll need to remedy this oversight later, but I couldn’t resist some new artwork for the walls and for my flab.

Opening announcements were hilarious and impassioned as usual with the Exhumed Jack O’ Lantern front and center.  The raffle prizes this year were various posters and toys the highlight of which was a The Thing poster signed by Mr. Carpenter himself. Exhumed Films traditionally offers a chance to guess which films are to be shown based on hints provided in a bulletin. The person who gets the highest number of correct answers wins a most excellent prize. This year it was a Retron game console which is used to play many of our favorite old cartridge games from classic game systems. This prize pack also included a copy of the NES game Friday the 13th (fun, but bad of course) and Rolling Thunder on NES.  This is a true nerd prize. I am still in awe of it. I wonder who Rolling Thunder would work with the Power Glove? What do you think the chances of this being made available on demand vis the Wii’s game online game store?

The horror-thon starts with a special crafted Exhumed Film bumper that we have discussed on numerous occasions. For me, it is the thing that let’s me know that it’s REALLY HAPPENING. Well, this year there was a tech glitch that had the bumper play without sound. At first I was disheartened. Was this going to be a precursor to what was to come for the rest of the horror-thon? Nay! You want to know how you know that Exhumed Films attracts the best friggin’ people in the world? The entire crowd sang the music from the bumper in full chorus! That’s dedication. It’s that kind of camaraderie that assure you that you are “an Exhumed man” (or woman as the case may be).   So the bumper ends and the movies lurk on to the screen…

The Death Wheelers (1973)

I only recently saw this film under its alternate title Psychomania as part of my review of the Fangoria 300, a list of 300 movies deemed to be must watch or influential films in horror history compiled to celebrate Fangoria’s 300th issue. My first viewing of this film left me wanting something more exciting out of motorcycle men with death wishes who go beyond the grave to become immortal. I can’t say I noticed how absolutely hip the music was on my first viewing, but 35mm will do something to a movie.  To this day I cannot get that wonderful half psychedelic, half horror theme music out of my skull. Somebody get me a motorcycle and a skull and cross bones helmet STAT. This has become a favorite picture of mine and Exhumed helped.

Rodan (1956)

The second film at the Exhumed Films Horror-thon is classically been a giant monster movie. This year was no different featuring Rodan, future Kaiju enemy of Godzilla. I’m not always a huge giant monster fan. I like mine more manageable. Human size. I’m a giant pussy I suppose. What impressed me about Rodan was not the creature effects, but the abundance of blood. I can watch little plastic army vehicles shoot fireworks all day long and expect every one of them to hit their target, but the minute you put a little gore in a movie from the 50′s I’m shocked. It was nice to see this picture having glazed over this “solo” flight for years. I was not the only one in the audience who felt this way. Many had not seen the solo shot from Rodan. Makes me wish I still had my plastic toy Rodan from my childhood. Moving on.

Frightmare (1983)

I’m in the lobby buying a second poster and a T-shirt because I had money to burn after missing Chiller Theater in Parsippany, NJ the night before. I then move on to the vegan food counter, pick up a half a sandwich (which was totally bad ass). I overhear someone say, “Frightmare’s the next movie”. Well that pretty much let me down completely. I had watched Frightmare as a result of the Fango 300 earlier this year and was unimpressed. So I slowly gathered my goods and walked down the theater aisle to discover  A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FRIGHTMARE! The Frightmare that Exhumed was showing was from 1983 and featured none other than Jeffrey Combs!  Conrad Ragzoff Lives! What a perfect homage to our favorite Hammer actors of the 50′s and 60′s. What a perfect blend of gothic horror and 80′s sex humor combined with just a hint of punk and some unexpected gore. I left the theater a changed man. I longed for a horror baddie like Conrad and was happy to have discovered that the Frightmare I had seen was not the 1974, psychodrama from England (kinda boring folks). This is a must see for those that enjoy 80′s horror. I expect that to be everyone who reads this damn thing.

Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (1986)

When I was a kid this movie terrified me. I couldn’t watch it because I couldn’t separate out that rape fiction isn’t rape happening and, when shown in the proper light, can enhance a story or inspire powerful feeling of disgust. This disgust can be absolutely essential to bridging the gap between character and movie goer. Well, Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer has grown on me. I’m able to tolerate its painful torture/kill sequences. I’m deeply impressed by the actors. The soundtrack is impeccable and eerie (no wonder Fantomas covers it). I find myself having a the slightest crush on Tracy Arnold which even I will admit sounds strange. Just slight. Keep the snickering down, peanut gallery.

The Dead (2010)

I had recently written a review of this film for the Blood Sprayer. I hope you find this film as compelling as I did. I hope you appreciate that socio-political overtones. I also wish the directors well. They have the chance to take back the zombie genre from those who have sought to undermine the real horror that the genre can represent that being the horror perpetrated by man, not zombie. Zombie films are not just about the gross out, but should definitely include a gross out. We’ve seen zombie films go from a point of intellectual stimulation to having the only brains involved with the viewing of a picture be spilled out on the floor and slurped by the undead.  I love that movies like The Dead try to keep this tradition alive. I hope the filmmakers make more like it and tackle as many relevant social issues as need be tackled. We were promised a 35mm print which was not available as NO 35mm prints were created for this film. Not a problem.  The Dead holds up well on the big screen, but I’d say that a smaller screen captures a sense of claustrophobia that might help you get creeped out. The smaller screen seems to disguise some of the make up flaws.  That’s just me knit picking. Good choice of film and announcing it ahead of time was the right call (they never do that).

Trick or Treat (1986)

This was my pick for movie of the night. It was  toss up between this, Frightmare and the second to last film of the night which you will soon discover unless you’ve skipped to the end. I pretty much was Marc Price in this movie circa 1995. I had the black hair. The metal shirts and vinyl. I had posters all over my walls and tried to play records backwards. The popular folks at school pushed me around and talked down to me. I was a total metal dork. I very much still am a metal dork. It’s been said there’s a link between heavy metal and the love of horror movies. I’ll be the first to admit that’s true. What this picture does ever so well is to bring a little humor to the table while telling OUR story. The pushed around and downtrodden get  their say with minimal whining. We get to fight the high school. Hell, we don’t even have to use guns or knives. We get to use HEAVY METAL and SATAN of course. That’s a given. If you love the 80′s metal like I do then this is a must see picture. The crowd laughed their asses off. Best enjoyed in a group for a laugh or by yourself for personal reflection. Enjoy the cameos by Gene Simmons and Ozzy Osbourne. As someone put it in the theater, “how come Gene Simmons didn’t act more?” Why indeed.

Night Warning (1982)

Also entitled The Butcher, The Baker, The Nightmare Maker, this film is perverse and hilarious. I haven’t seen anything quite like it. Surrogate mother is absolutely in love with her inherited son and tries to make the moves on him at every turn. These moves are not limited to but include trying to keep him out of college, out of a big basketball scholarship and without girlfriend.  Now the first half of the movie left me a little bored. A couple scenes had me deeply impressed and thinking that I might change my mind later, and then I was  abruptly slapped in the face by Susan Tyrell’s transformation into stark raving lunatic. Her face is a total creep out and her vision of the world is sublimely demented.  By the end of the movie you’ve got her crazy eyes burned squarely into the back’s of your retinas.

Frankenhooker (1990)

Classic Henenlotter and released on Blu Ray shortly after this viewing, Frankenhooker is  some fun body humor that makes the Modern Prometheus the Ultra Oversexed Modern Prometheus.  Take a bunch of spare parts from some exquisitely 80′s hookers and then sew them all together and you’ve got a hooker fit for a mad scientist. Now I enjoy the film as a whole, but nothing does it for me like the first 10 to 15 minutes of the film.  There’s nothing like a freak lawnmower accident to get the blood pumping.  Check out the Blu Ray coming at you from Synapse Films. You’ll be glad you did.

Dr. Black and Mr. Hyde (1976)

While I love a good Blaxploitation film as much as the next guy,  this one just wasn’t for me. I can’t say whether this one just came on too late for me or whether the film was just that bad. Done by the same director as Blacula, I think that Blacula is able to make some of its play with stereotypes and expressions less obvious; funnier because the punchlines aren’t spelled out for you. The make up effects are quite good. Nice and campy, but the film dragged me along. Too quiet for the after hours when it was shown. It was nice to see Bernie Casey in a role before Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure.

The Legend of the Wolf Woman (1976)

I can’t say that I enjoyed this picture either despite the absolutely astounding amount of nudity. I’m a fan of Italian cinema from the 70′s and naked women and werewolves to boot. I think it may have been the wrong film for such a late hour just as Dr. Black and Mr. Hyde was, however, maybe Exhumed designed the horror-thon that way. When something this slow moving and quiet comes on you have the chance to get a couple minutes shut eye and hope the guy next to you isn’t wearing a trench coast ready for a peepshow (actually happened to me my frist year). I think back to other movies that were shown in this time slot and it was usually something somewhat obscure. Hercules in the Haunted World or Trauma. I’ll give it another go some time. Hopefully this film is more than just a really great poster with a more rested eye.

Blood Diner (1987)

This was my first time seeing the infamous Blood Diner. What a fun movie and such a great film to see with a large group of sickos. I love that it pulls its central plot from Herschell Gordon Lewis’ gore fest, Blood Feast. The gore is off the chart funny and when it’s not its disgusting. Another classic for fans of 80′s cinema and the professional wrestling afficiando.  One of the cannibalistic brothers gets to have a wrestling match with a Nazi.  You’ll have to catch it on VHS for now, but isn’t that the best way to watch movies that are this filled with raw cheese?

The Burning (1981)

Exhumed Films has never shown the same movie twice at a horror-thon. The have previously shown the Burning, but this version was more complete and an absolutely beautiful copy. Jason Alexander is a laugh riot. No really. He’s funny, but maybe in that way that only pre-Seinfeld actors can be funny. People compare this with Friday the 13th more often than not and I’ll say that I prefer Friday the 13th, but without a definitive reason why I can only assume its because I’ve been familiar with the Cunningham classic long before this first Weinstein effort. It’s growing on me. This was the third time I had seen this film this year, so I wasn’t amped to see it again. I had seen it just the week before. I still love that maggotty, worm infested skull the boys use to frighten Cropsy. It would make me set myself on fire and kill teens with a pair of gardening sheers.

Maximum Overdrive (1986)

Ever since I was a kid I have wanted to see this film on the big screen. This was my chance and it was everything I could have wanted. One guy in the lobby mentioned that it was the only movie he couldn’t stand to sit through because he found it so utterly boring. I find that many a Stephen King fan loves to pan this one as an inferior effort. Well, he directed it and I adore it. The trucks look great especially the green goblin faced toy hauling rig. After seeing this movie I find it hard to go to a soda machine or near an electric knife. I still think my friggin’ lawn mower might just start up and try to attack me. Couple all of those newly found neurosis and you have a picture with one of the rockin-est soundtracks in all of horror film history designed by AC/DC. 35mm gives these trucks crystal clarity and the big screen gives them presence. Thank God they shot down that damn UFO! My only complaint about this film and it’s more about the horror-thon itself… I was aching for an animal attack movie. Yes sir. I had a real hankering for one. That’s a strange desire. Maybe I’m just low on some nutrient. I think I’m just bitter about having to miss the end of Horror-thon 4 do to circumstances beyond my control.  Imagine you miss Bug and House by the Cemetery on the big screen. Hurts doesn’t it?

Meet the Feebles (1989)

Typically the Exhumed Films folks end the horror-thon with a zombie pictures. Nope. Not this time. I’ll say that it was an absolutely pleasure to see Peter Jackon’s “muppets with vices” film on the big screen. I’m sure this was a rare screening, and I’m proud to say that I was in the audience when it was one. I think that from a matter of taste (and we’re talking about a loose definition of taste) I’m kind of over this one. Its got some classic laughs and some even more classic gross outs, but once you’ve seen it a number of times it does tend to get old.  Still glad to have seen it even though I would have preferred an out and out horror film here. Does seeing this film on the big screen give you bragging rights? You bet your sweet ass it does.

That’s the horror-thon. My cousin’s husband and I drove home from  Philly north heading into the early blizzard of 2011. We were tired with red eyes and stinking of theater and snack food. We agreed that nothing was missing from this intensely different set of films, and that the “new beginning” that the name of the Exhumed Films fifth installment promised was clearly realized in both film selection and placement within the horror-thon. We’ll be back for more next year if my ass can take it. For me, it’s not staying awake for 24 hours that’s the problem. It’s getting up at 7am the day of and then making the long trek to Philly to wait online plus 2 hour drive home that makes it a challenge. Sleep deprivation is supposed to be worse than drunk driving. I’m sure that sleep deprivation after a night of seriously debauched films on the big screen is more like the non-drug equivalent of angel dust. Lesson for the day: Watch Responsibly. Horror-thon at your own risk.

Thanks again to Exhumed Films for the amazing horror-thon, Diabolik DVD for having such impressive wares, Dan Fraga for a fun and inspirational interview and the Grindcore House for making the best damn cup o’ coffee I’ve had in years.

Isaac Marion’s zombie romance novel Warm Bodies has been gobbled up by Jonathan Levine, the man who brought us Sundance darling The Wackness and the horror-thriller All The Boys Love Mandy Lane.  The plot of the novel/movie seems to hold some promise, the tale follows a young zombie known as “R” as he manages to stay alive through a post-apocalypse America.  While only able to communicate through grunts and simple syllables, he finds himself craving human brains in order to get high off of the memories they contain.  An interesting reason behind the brain craving, but I’ll go with it.  It is only after R consumes the brain of a suicidal boy that R finds himself consumed by the love he’s discovered in the blonde girlfriend of the man he’s just eaten, Julie.  R’s love is so strong that he begins to save her from zombie attacks and he makes it his goal to protect her.  Zombie romance is a bit of a strange bird to try and tackle, but more power to Marion for trying to figure out a way to make it work.  The novel itself seems be highly regarded and Shaun of the Dead himself has stated on record that the novel is “a mesmerizing evolution of a classic contemporary myth”.

Now, a love story between two teenagers with one of them being a supernatural and horrific creature…what else does that remind you of?  Oh yeah, that whole sparkling vampire craze that’s been a constant annoyance to anyone outside the fandom since 2005.  It came as no surprise when it was announced that Summit Entertainment, the people behind The Twilight Saga would also be backing this production.  Let’s be frank here, the only thing keeping Summit Entertainment in business is that damn franchise, so it only makes sense that they’re going to try to milk every last drop they can out of the sparkly cash cow.  In that respect, I can completely understand why they’d try to have lightning strike twice with a carbon copy of their money maker.  The creative team has managed to scoop up Nicholas Hoult of X-Men: First Class fame to play R as well as up-and-coming actress, Teresa Palmer to play opposite as Julie.  There’s some other recognizable figures like Lizzy Caplan, Dave (not to be confused with my superior brother James) Franco, oh yeah, and John Freaking Malkovich.

Relatively impressive cast aside, the question is how they’re going to interpret this beast.  Now, I could very well assume that this is going to be nothing more than a Twi-Clone, but after All The Boys Love Mandy Lane, I think Jonathan Levine may have something else up his sleeve.  My prediction?  This is a brilliant marketing scam trying to reel in the broken hearted Twi-hards that will be mourning over their Edward Cullen trapper keepers once the final film installment in the franchise is released.  At least, that’s what I’m hoping for.  I don’t think I could handle a zombie style Twilight.  It’s bad enough that they’re going to be screwing with zombie mythology by giving R a sense of self control; then again, we made zombies run and that seemed to work rather well, didn’t it?

Last week Blue Underground unleashed on the masses the  Lucio Fulci classics Zombie (1979) and The House By The Cemetery (1981) on blu-ray.  Being an avid horror fan I’m used to having my favorite movies released every couple years in new collectors sets and special editions.  This is the first time either of these movies have made the leap from DVD to blu-ray, so once again I updated my collection.  I know not everyone will want to immediately do the same, so I’m here to give you the low down on these new releases and let you decide where to spend your hard earned money.

I’ll start with Zombie, which is one of my absolute favorite horror movies of all time.  Quickly for the two of you that are not familiar with this movie, its the story of an abandoned boat that washes ashore in New York City.  As a couple police officers investigate, they stumble upon a zombie who attacks them.  It turns out the boat was owned by a doctor, and his daughter tries to find out where her missing father is.  With the help of a reporter they find out he’s working on a caribbean island, and off they go to try and find him.  Instead, they find an island filled with voodoo rituals and the living dead.

Zombie is no doubt most famous for its stunning visuals, and the blu-ray transfer delivers the goods.  I’m no expert on visuals, but I am incredibly happy with the transfer.  I am not going to tell you that this movie looks as good as a new release filmed in HD and completely digital, but the colors and textures really pop off the screen.

Now onto the good stuff, special features.  Blue Underground really hit it out of the park on this one with roughly 100 minutes of all new interviews and footage covering pretty much every angle of Zombie. Only one major feature from any past copies is missing, and that would be the feature length documentary Building A Better Zombie that was a part of the two disk Media Blasters set, but a quick swap of my Zombie case and my daughters Toy Story 3 case with room for three disks and I’m all set!  I will list everything at the bottom for those interested, but this is a great set!  Any Zombie fan would be lining up to upgrade to this new disk.

Next up is The House By The Cemetery, another gore soaked film from Lucio Fulci.  In HBTC, we meet a family that is moving from New York to New England, so that Norman can finish some research that a co-worker was working on when he committed suicide.  Turns out the house that they moved into is holding a dark secret in the cellar, one that is dying to get out.

I’ll admit HBTC is not my favorite Fulci film,but it is a decent little fright flick.  It houses some really good atmospheric scenes, and some wonderfully gory set pieces as well.  Similar to the Zombie blu-ray, Blue Underground’s transfer is stunning!  There is no way that HBTC has ever looked this good, and I’d be surprised it it ever looks better!  In addition to the wonderful visuals, HBTC also includes about an hour of all new interviews as well!  Another solid upgrade from Blue Underground!

For those of you that haven’t changed formats, or refuse to, both the the new editions are also freshly released on DVD.  Either way, Lucio Fulci lives in a big way with both Zombie and House By The Cemetery’s 2011 special editions!

Zombie Extra’s

Audio Commentary with Star Ian McCulloch and Diabolik Magazine Editor Jason J. Sater    

Theatrical Trailers (HD)

TV Spots

Radio Spots

Poster & Still Gallery (HD)

 Guillermo del Toro Intro (HD)

Zombie Wasteland:  Interviews with Stars Ian McCulloch, Richard Johnson, & Al Cliver, and Actor/Stuntman Ottaviano Dell’Acqua (HD)

Deadtime Stories:  Interviews with Co-Writers Elisa Briganti and (Uncredited) Dardano Sacchetti (HD)

Flesh Eaters on Film:  Interview with Co-Producer Fabrizio De Angelis (HD)

World of the Dead:  Interviews with Cinematographer Sergio Salvati and Production & Costume Designer Walter Patriarca (HD)

Zombi Italiano:  Interviews with Make-Up Effects Artists Gianetto De Rossi & Maurizio Trani and Special Effects Artist Gino De Rossi (HD)

Notes on a Headstone:  Interview with Composer Fabio Frizzi (HD)

All in the Family:  Interview with Antonella Fulci (HD)

Zombie Lover:  Guillermo del Toro talks about one of his favorite films (HD)

HOUSE BY THE CEMETERY Extra’s

Meet the Boyles:  Interviews with Stars Catriona MacColl and Paolo Malco (HD)

Children of the Night:  Interviews with Stars Giovanni Frezza and Silvia Collatina (HD)

Tales of Laura Gittleson:  Interview with Star Dagmar Lassander (HD)

My Time With Terror:  Interview with Star Carlo De Mejo (HD)

A Haunted House Story:  Interviews with Co-Writers Dardano Sacchetti andElisa Briganti (HD)

To Build a Better Death Trap:  Interviews with Cinematographer Sergio Salvati, Make-Up Effects Artist Maurizio Trani, Special Effects Artist Gino De Rossi, and Actor Giovanni De Nava (HD)

Deleted Scene

Theatrical Trailers (HD)

TV Spot

Poster & Stills Gallery

Well make me a ham sandwich and call me Granny! It’s been awhile since my last contribution to the ole’ Blood Sprayer, but that’s with good reason. You see, I’ve been undercover for the past few months as part of a sooper-secret strike force sent to infiltrate and interview the ominous artist known only as… “The Dude.”

Okay, so maybe some of you have already discovered this man’s true identity (Thomas Hodge), but far fewer have ever been offered a glimpse into this mad creator’s lair of secrets. This is, until now. Under strict instructions to refer to him only as “The Dude” I was invited for a one on one with the man behind some of the most hideously beautiful movie posters since the 70s and 80s including Hobo with a Shotgun, Madison County and more recently Ti West’s The Innkeepers. He even snagged the Toronto After Dark Festival’s Award for Best Poster on Fathers Day! It was dangerous work, but someone had to do it… right? Right?!

So just who is “The Dude?” Family man, Man of Action or otherworldly, artistic anomaly?

Well in the words of Matt Berry, it has been said that I am a gentleman but never a gentle man… [raises eyebrow, tokes cigar, swigs whiskey!]. But really I’m just hear to warp minds, degrade sensibilities and hopefully improve the state of film posters and video covers! People have been getting short changed for too long and its time to raise the bar again… speaking of which… WHISKEY!!!

The real question is, do I make the video covers and posters or do they make me!? To quote the AC/DC in Stephen King’s celluloid masterpiece Maximum Overdrive: “Who made who!”

Ahem. Yes, your name has become somewhat synonymous with a new wave of grindhouse/exploitation films. Just how did “The Dude” get so popular with the indie film scene?

Integrity, passion, drive plus a lot of blood sweat and tears… they may have been someone else’s blood, sweat and tears but still its the thought that counts. It didn’t just happen over night, though. I’ve paid my dues. You see I traveled the world far and wide to discover the finest movie poster artist in history… but most of them are sadly now deceased. So, I dug them up them and thanks to the help of some 2-4-5 Trioxin I now have the zombified remains of John Alvin, Richard Amsel, Reynold Brown and Bob Peak in my basement… and there pretty pissed, let me tell you!

I keep them sustained on the brains of fresh young studio execs and with my zombie army of great poster artists I’m hoping to take over THE WORLD!!!

The Dude has been doing this style of artwork for years now with Curzon Cinema’s Midnight Movies and Arrow Video, but how have things changed since Hobo with a Shotgun?

Well, I’ve been on the run ever since spending many a sleepless night, frankly its ruined my life! Before I started that gig I had a good job with Sony PlayStation, an expensive flat in Camden in central London, with a busy social life partying at night… now I no longer have my job, I’ve lost my flat and I’ve moved to Cheam… have you ever been to CHEAM?!?

Can’t say that I have, though I did hear it’s the birthplace of Darth Vader.

I’ve had to totally devote my life to this demon of design slaving around the clock working 7 days a week with just bread and water to sustain me… All work and no play make the dude a dull boy. All work and no play make the dude a dull boy. All work and no play make the dude a dull boy. All work and no play make the dude a dull boy. All work and no play make the dude a dull boy. All work and no play make the dude a dull boy. All work and no play make the dude a dull boy. All work and no play make the dude a dull boy. All work and no play make the dude a dull boy. All work and no play make the dude a dull boy. All work and no play make the dude a dull boy. All work and no play make the dude a dull boy. All work and no play make the dude a dull boy. All work and no play make the dude a dull boy.

Um… should I call someone?

All work and no play make the dude a dull boy. All work and no play make the dude a dull boy. All work and no play make the dude a dull boy. All work and no play make the dude a dull boy…

Let’s try another question. So, how is a piece typically “conceived?” Does it ever involve illicit activities that would be considered “too hot for TV?”

Well it does involve some illicit activities but as I’ve said to my girlfriend “don’t be disturbing me between the hours of 7 – 9. That’s private time, I’m just vacuuming my studio!!!”

I like to pitch myself as more of a Creative Director when taking on a commission rather than just a designer or illustrator who a marketing representative then tells what to do, so I’m not sure if working with me follows the same lines as your average design agency. I try to really dissect a film, pull out its plot line open up the visual style and really get balls deep into the story line!

Sounds like things can get pretty intense when you’re “in the zone” huh?

I want to expose all the entrails of a movie so the viewer can experience the true guts of a film. There’s always some struggling which goes on as people are now programmed to the modern thinking of film poster designs (which are very derivative) or the they want to recreate what’s been done before, but I like to try and treat each film differently. It does puts a lot of pressure on a piece so I can be driven quite mad by some designs, the neighbors must be kept awake by the screams most nights. Essentially the more people hopefully enjoy the designs – and the better they go down – I can really carve out a name for myself and gain the trust of the big studios to work my magic. I’m just waiting for the call!!

What are a few ground rules The Dude does not abide by when creating his work?

Well every rule is meant to be broken and I’m sure as the clients get bigger the more I’ll be pushed down dark seedy alleyways and violated in ways I rather wouldn’t be! At the moment I try to keep things very true to the old school of film poster design only having elements which where achievable back in the 70′s or 80′s – no bevels, embossing or Photoshop effects. Also, I don’t really want to go down a floating head route or make a film out to be something which it isn’t (which is something I have ran into in the past being asked to create something so ridiculous which has nothing to do with the film and was also aiming just ripping off another design for an independent film. It wasn’t fair on several counts, the independent film worked hard to create characters and story elements which I was then able to bring out in the poster that the company would just be completely sapping off of! I also felt the viewer might be mightily pissed upon watching a film expecting to see one thing and getting another.

My job is selling the film for people, and I am a Commercial Artist. Where do you draw the line though… its an interesting question I guess!?

Name one iconic poster hanging on his wall that The Dude cherishes above all.

At the moment I only have video covers covering the walls due to a lack of space. I can get more of them up there! But I do love a film poster that Ace Marrero, producer of Madison County sent me for working on there film poster. Its a massive (over 6ft high) Italian poster for Death Wish 3!

What are some of The Dude’s favourite films?

Oh man… well I love The Thing, Night of the Living Dead (I actually quite like the bizarre coloured version as it gives the whole thing this twisted comic book feel), The Shining, PontyPool – totally blew me away – Session 9… I also like Friday the 13th 3D, as well as the Big Lebowski (of course) and let’s not go forgetting Smokey and the Bandit or Gator! Then there’s Big Trouble in Little China… the list goes on!

The poster for Dear God No! was released last month and now you’ve got a one sheet for Madison County that just came out. Does The Dude ever sleep?

I should also have a design for Hypothermia coming out soon, two more Arrow covers, a German DVD cover for Super… and a piece I did for Music Director Chris Marrs Pilieros’ Howlin’ for You video went up in a gallery exhibition in LA about music video inspired art. PLUS I’ve been working on more concept based stuff with an exciting job I took on for a pitch James Wan was doing. Whether that will get to the next stage is TBC though, so basically “no.” Nor do I go out much these days! I’m definitely becoming a design hermit!!!

Does The Dude ever sell prints of his work online?

In time. I do a lot of my jobs on a commission basis where I sign over rights which prevents me from immediately selling prints, but after a while I’m sure I will. Its also a matter of working out the costs and time at the moment. But hey, if Mondo ever contacts me I’m sure something will come out. I’m hoping to release some video cover-inspired prints of the posters which will be affordable for people and different enough from the commissioned posters to be able to sell!

How would The Dude prefer to die… splinter through the eye or eaten alive by ants.

The DUDE WILL NEVER DIE! I’ll be here for ever, and ever… AND EVER! [takes another toke from cigar]

Greetings, Brothers and Sisters of the Psychotronic Video World.  There’s been a lot of talk over the last couple years about remakes.  But we’re not here to talk about remakes today, readers.  We’re talking about the exploitation sleaze ‘n cheese that’s so raw, so gut-punchingly vile, that if it hadn’t been made when it was made, then it probably would never exist.  And it’s a hard call on that, because with the SAW films, SLAUGHTERED VOMIT DOLLS, the HUMAN CENTIPEDE franchise and A SERBIAN FILM, it seems like there’s no depth of depravity that filmmakers and mondo film-watchers are unwilling to descend to.  I’m honestly still a little stunned that I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE got remade.  If nothing else, it shows that even if the original had not been made, then the filmmaking atmosphere exists in which it could be made.

But anyways, here’s ten films that I think today, in 2011, that the Hollywood Babylon would pass on.  No particular order; more simply as they occur to me.

ILSA: SHE WOLF OF THE SS (1975) — The original Nazi Nasty, this Canadian-lensed production centers on Kommandant-Doktor Ilsa (Dyanne Thorne), a sadistic nymphomaniac in charge of a Nazi Prison Camp.  By day, the male prisoners labor for the benefit of the National Socialist Party; by night, they are taken into Ilsa’s bedchambers.  Those who fail to satisfy her are castrated, emasculated, or executed, based on how severely they fail to bring her to orgasm.  Meanwhile, women are subjected to cruel experiments designed to prove that women can withstand more pain then men, and thus should be used as shock-troopers for the Reich.  Hey Ilsa, ever hear of a little thing called “Childbirth?” I’m pretty sure your theory has been proven sound, honey.

The fact that actual Nazi medical experiments, conducted by Josef Mengele himself, are here recreated for prurient purposes makes it a pretty sure fact that this film would not be made today.  There’s less politically- and racially-insensitive methods of showing naked breasts, especially those of busty beauty Uschi Digard.  Hell, there’s less insensitive ways of showing people who need to be sprayed with MILF-urine in order to orgasm, if that’s your thing.

INGAGI (1930) — Jumping back almost a half-century (and showcasing one of only two films on this list not made during the 1970s), we have this roadshow attraction.  The 1930s were the Golden Age of exploitation pictures, many of which traveled from town to town in the trunk of a sleazy promoter’s car, staying in town just long enough to make a few bucks — or until the moral center of the town drove these perversion-peddlers out.  INGAGI was billed as an “ethnographic” film, extremely educational and enlightening — and then pulled the Ol’ Switcheroo! Happy day for the Raincoat Brigade, INGAGI purports to be the true story of an expedition into the dark heart of Africa…that finds a village where the women have sex with gorillas! Naked “native” women abound, and the gorilla is played by Charles Gemora, the patron saint of all future gorilla-suit actors. As a bonus, the financial success of INGAGI prompted RKO to invest in a little picture by Ernest P. Schroedsack and Merien C. Cooper, a little picture called KING KONG.

This one I was iffy about including on this list.  I mean, I think making a movie about gorilla-on-human sexual conquests would be passe, but maybe HANGOVER 2 proved me wrong.

ALL THE LOVIN’ KINFOLK (1970) — Ahhhh, good ol’ Hicksploitation.  This trashy little “regional” drive-in picture, also released as KIN FOLK and THE CLOSEST OF KIN, is a magnificent piece of sleaze.  Two cousins from the country, Zeb and Cindy, graduate from high school and travel to the big city.  Along the way, they learn all sorts of lessons about the differences between country living and city living especially where propriety is involved.  Some highlights of the film include Cindy falling in with a family of moonshiners who believe that aging their product in a dungheap provides the best flavor (and who chase Cindy out when she stabs the family patriarch in the leg for trying to rape her), a sequence in which Zeb has wildly passionate sex with Uschi Digard to the tune of “The William Tell Overture,” a sequence in which Cindy’s sister induces a farmhand to plow her in the ass in the chicken coop (resulting in the glorious dialogue from him, “We’re gonna get chicken shit all over us,” to which she dreamily replies, “…Good…”) and finally Cindy and Zeb getting their long-awaited incestuous freak on.

Lovingly clinging to the border between Hard R and Soft X, ALL THE LOVIN’ KINFOLK also straddles the border between glorifying the sexual liberation of the Appalachian backwoods, and condemning the ignorance and misogyny of these communities.  Still, any film that deals with this much feces (human, bovine and chicken) and in which the happy ending is between two cousins, seems unlikely to find that ready a market these days, but the proliferation of both scat porn and faux-incest porn on the internet seems to contradict this.

THE LEGEND OF BOGGY CREEK (1972) — A surprisingly chilling docudrama from Charles B. Pierce, LEGEND follows the story of the Fouke Monster, a swamp-dwelling Bigfoot-like creature (though shorter and more aggressive than the normally passive Bigfoot, and mysteriously leaving three-toed tracks) that terrorized the community of Fouke, Arkansas, in the Texarkana region.  Much of the film consists of eyewitness testimony — simply pointing the camera at actual witnesses (and in some cases victims) of the creature’s rampages, and allowing them to tell their story, with some footage recreating the events shown.  It’s handled with remarkable restraint and poise, and not once do you get the impression that Pierce is patronizing the people of Fouke or selling them short.  The viewer gets a few brief glimpses of the creature (an ape suit that’s never really shown or in focus) but there’s an overall claustrophobic atmosphere in which the creature seems to be lurking behind every tree, behind every shed, and in every hollow.  It’s a fantastic watch, especially on an autumn night with the lights off.

We’ve had plenty of killer Bigfoot movies lately, and found footage/”documentary” films are at an all-time peak.  So why wouldn’t THE LEGEND OF BOGGY CREEK be made today? The film is too honest, too raw, and honestly has too much integrity and dignitas to be released in this cynical, jaded age.

DEADLY WEAPONS (1974) — Ah, a favorite of mine, from the amazingly exploitative Doris Wishman, aka “The Female Ed Wood,” so called for her camp aesthete…and the ineptness of her productions.  DEADLY WEAPONS is the first of two films Wishman made capitalizing on Polish-American exotic dancer Chesty Morgan’s incredibly large natural breasts.  They’re listed as 73FF, but that seems very inaccurate, and may be the result of changes in the way bras are fitted — if I had to guess, I’d say something more along the lines of a 36 or 38 FF by today’s measurements.  The second film Morgan and Wishman did together, DOUBLE AGENT 73, would also fit for the purposes of this list, but quite frankly I enjoy DEADLY WEAPONS more.

In DEADLY WEAPONS, Chesty’s boyfriend gets offed by the Mob for trying to double-cross them after a job; distraught, Chesty takes revenge in the only way she can — she becomes a stripper, uses the burlesque circuit to track down the killers (one of whom is a post-DEEP THROAT Harry Reems), and then smothers them under her gigantic pleasure zeppelins.  This is pretty much precisely how I would want to die.

Why wouldn’t it get made today? While the argument can be made that this is a film about feminine empowerment and freedom from patriarchal dominance, at the end of the day it’s a film glorifying gigantomastia.  And while I’m a gigantic-natural-breast fetishist, I recognize that breasts this large are generally deemed grotesque by those whose kink it isn’t.

THE AMAZING TRANSPLANT (1970) — Another offering from Doris Wishman.  While DEADLY WEAPONS was no Lysistrata, THE AMAZING TRANSPLANT…well, it’s no MAD LOVE.  Mild-mannered Arthur suddenly becomes an unstoppable sex maniac, attempting to rape and murder his girlfriend.  She tells of this to Arthur’s uncle, a police detective, who begins an investigation, which leads him through a string of rapes and murders seemingly perpetuated by his formerly milquetoast nephew, each of which gets its own detailed flashback.  Finally, in the last ten minutes, we find out the cause of all this (because, y’know, the title totally didn’t give it away): Arthur received a penis transplant from a recently-deceased fellow, who it turns out was a serial rapist and murderer, and now his cock, granted a new life, is directing Arthur’s actions!

As far as killer-penis movies go, this is not one of the better ones I’ve seen.  It’s dull, plodding, and about sixty minutes of the seventy minute run-time is padding.  Still, I think the notion of a man being so in thrall to his own johnson that he will kill at its command, is one that would be passed over today.  At least, I would hope so.  The original concept, used in such films as MAD LOVE and THE HANDS OF ORLAC, still has some juice in it; and it was spoofed in a Simpsons Treehouse of Horror episode several years back with a hair transplant driving Homer to criminal behavior.

FIGHT FOR YOUR LIFE (1977) — Three violent convicts escape from an armored car transporting them to a maximum security prison.  Stealing a pimp’s car, they murder a drug-store owner and take a black minister’s daughter hostage.  The convicts, led by Jesse Lee Cain (BLADE RUNNER’s William Sanderson, in a role he will not admit to playing), decide to pay a visit to the minister’s house.  Father Ted Turner is just sitting down to dinner with his family, preaching as he does so that “the meek shall inherit the Earth,” to which Granny replies “Black Power!”

Cain kicks in the door and forces the family at gun point to serve him and his cohorts dinner, all while spouting every racial slur in the books.  Turner is forced to say things like, “Yessah, Massah, all us coons is hungry!” and then to dance a “down-home nigger jig” with Cain shooting at his feet.  Turner’s wife is strung up a tree, a white woman who stops by to visit the Turners is raped and murdered, a child’s head is bashed in…and finally, Turner has had enough.  Fighting back, he shoots Cain in the stomach, muttering “little-dick white-trash faggot” as he does so.

FIGHT FOR YOUR LIFE is truly an astonishing film, perhaps one of a kind in terms of pure bilious hatred.  This is a movie that white bigots can enjoy for the abuse heaped upon the Turner family, and that black bigots can enjoy for seeing a vile Honky put in his place. And that’s not something you’re likely to see in films again any time soon.

EMANUELLE IN AMERICA (1977) — OK, history lesson time.  In 1974, a French softcore film came out entitled EMMANUELLE, and was picked up and distributed by Hollywood, making it kind of like the DEEP THROAT of softcore French erotica.  A year later, BLACK EMANUELLE (notice the lost M) came out to capitalize on this, being a greasy sexploitation smorgasbord.  Sequels followed, and the third through the seventh were directed by Joe D’Amato, the King of Sleaze.

EMANUELLE IN AMERICA is D’Amato’s second EMANUELLE film.  It follows Emanuelle (Laura Gemser) as she researches a corrupt politician, hoping to expose his depravity to the world.  However, the more she digs, the deeper a hole she finds herself in.  She soon runs afoul of a ring of snuff-film pornographers, almost becoming the “star” of their latest film.  The film not only shows full penetrative sex, it’s also stunning in terms of gruesome, gory violence, much of which is tied into torture-themed sex scenes.  But that’s not all! EMANUELLE IN AMERICA goes further than most such films (and a million light-years beyond Cinemax’s softcore EMANUELLE films of later years) in just how far down into sickness it will wallow.  EMANUELLE IN AMERICA features a sequence you’re not likely to see outside of Denmark or the Internet: A naked woman masturbating a horse to climax.  Why include such a scene? “Why not?” seems to have been D’Amato’s reasoning.

Horse-ejaculate and snuff films.  This could only be a product of the sleazy, permissive 1970s.

THRILLER: A CRUEL PICTURE (aka THEY CALL HER ONE EYE; 1973) — You had to know that this Swedish rape-revenge flick was going to be on this list.  A young woman, Frigga/Madeleine (played by the amazing Christina Lindberg, who STILL looks like she’s about fourteen), is sexually assaulted, the traumatic experience rendering her mute.  Years later, she accepts a ride from a man who forcibly addicts her to heroin, then makes her work as a prostitute for her fix.  He even tears out one of her eyes, in a scene filmed using an actual cadaver.  Eventually, this much-put-upon young lady has had enough.  She hoards what money she can, using it to buy a car, a shotgun, and get trained to drive, shoot, and kick ass using martial arts.  Having acquired these items and skills, look out pimps — it’s Vengeance O’Clock!

THRILLER is a rough, brutal film (I have difficulty watching the eyeball-gouging scene) dealing heavily in sex slavery and sexualized violence, all involving a girl who is supposed to be VERY young.  While I don’t think such a film would be made today, if, in a hypothetical parallel universe where this film didn’t exist but Quentin Tarantino still had a career, he might make it, though I doubt ol’ QT has the cojones to make the character 14 years old…though he would probably cast himself as a greasy, foot-fucking pervert who hires her services.

TOP GUN (1986) — Haha, bet you weren’t expecting this film to show up on the list! I can hear you now, “But TOP GUN isn’t a sleazy exploitation film! It won all sorts of awards! Tom Cruise!” Bah, I say.  This is a two-hour recruitment video for the US Navy combined with enough unrestrained homoeroticism to choke Liberace and a barely-coherent plot carved out of a number of explosion sequences.  You can’t tell me that TOP GUN is not an exploitation film, albeit a high-budget one.

Tom Cruise goes to elite flight school, where he must prove his swaggering macho dominance in the fields of flying fighter jets, beach volleyball, standing around in his underwear with a leg up over a chair, and porking Kelly McGillis, a supermodel-beautiful astrophysicist and civilian flight instructor. Hell, replace the fighter jets with horse cocks, and you have EMANUELLE IN AMERICA II.

Why wouldn’t it get made today? In large part because the public perception of the American military has changed in the last 25 years.  While I’m sure the Pentagon would love to see Hollywood pump out a whole string of propagandistic “joining the military will add 7-10 inches to your penis and supermodels will beg to be your sexual playthings” movies, it’s just not what Hollywood is willing to produce right now.  Look at recent “War Movies”: LETTERS FROM IWO JIMA, FLAGS OF OUR FATHERS, JARHEAD, THE HURT LOCKER, BAND OF BROTHERS, WE WERE SOLDIERS ONCE, SAVING PRIVATE RYAN…these are all “War is Hell” films.  The only films out of Hollywood lately that glorify militarism are the recent RAMBO reboot in 2008, and 2010′s THE EXPENDABLES, with the upcoming RED DAWN remake being likely to join that short list.

***

This is by no means an exhaustive list.  The only films I’ve gone out of my way to decline to include are those representative of now-marginalized political belief systems such as TRIUMPH OF THE WILL and BIRTH OF A NATION.  There are many, many more exploitation films which would likely be too sleazy to be made today, but at this point you’ve probably stopped reading, so why continue to list them?

When you think of children and horror movies what’s the first thing that comes to mind? Children of the Corn? Poltergeist? The Exorcist? Maybe Damien from the Omen sticks in your head as he screams, “no daddy, no!”.  There are some pretty popular films concerning the children of the horror-verse. It’s no surprise really. Once you have kids you’re either terrified of what might be done to them while your back is turned. Pick your poison be it death, dismemberment, molestation, poisoning by an angry relative via Halloween candy. There are a good number of ways that children can find themselves in a great deal of trouble in the really real world and not just the fictitious world of horror.

What about the other side of the coin?  A great deal of us fear for a our children quite regularly to the point of instilling some form of neurosis, but be honest. A great deal of us wonder what the undeveloped sense of morality in a child might lead to. The knife drawer is only inaccessible as long as we put adequate protective devices on them and at some point… our kids become aware.  You’d think that you’ve taught your children well enough to keep their brains free and clear of amoral behavior short of the occasional game of doctor or the case of the wandering candy bar, but that’s probably only 80% true. Think about how kids treat other kids when their learning how to become members of society. You can’t say that  less than a few rocks have been thrown in defense of a child’s honor after a loss at a game of tag. When you’re not around… kids curse. That’s right parents. Put your bars of soap away. They’ll do you no good in the secret world of children en masse.

When I was a kid we used to keep a well disguised copy of Penthouse accessible in the community tree house. It was their for a make shift peepshow at will, and we were fairly young. You know that we found that in some other kid’s tree house. That means that at least two separate groups of youths were staring at threesomes and keen examples of oral sex and we lived in a pretty small town.  Imagine a group of kids in each town throughout the United States alone doing what we were doing. Cursing and teaching each other to curse while staring at smut (loyally), throwing rocks at each other and trapping each other in pricker bush prisons in an effort to punish kids who couldn’t run as fast as the rest. I can tell you quite honestly that I spent a number of summer days waiting for dinner time to be released from my own personal green Hell. Some days, they wouldn’t let you go and then you’d have to rummage through the brush to escape. These were normal, everyday kids who are now upstanding members of society. At least two of them are teachers in grade school. Another,  a future minister.

Enough of this anti-nostalgia trip. You came here to read about movies you should be watching or to be reminded of films you haven’t seen in years. Maybe you should be watching your progeny instead.  What happens when our little angel turn on us? Well, there’s a horror movie for that too; Several in fact. We mentioned Children of the Corn and we’ll get to that but it’s a bit obvious, don’t you think? Sure the Good Son and Damian from the Omen can definitely teach a kid a thing or two about how to get an “A” in Evil.   Let’s take a brief look at the ways in which our children might (and we know you’re loosing hours of sleep about this) become the villain and not the victim. Maybe you’ve heard of a few of these classics, but hopefully you’ll get the chance to enjoy these kiddy terror’s anew.

The Children (1980)

A radioactive leak turns children into living, breathing, hugging microwave ovens. That’s pretty much all that needs to be said for this early 80′s B movie. Distributed by Troma for years and also part of the Grindhouse Experience series, this picture was made when movie men wanted to test boundaries with as little money as possible. Before the 80′s ratings back lash and before kids were fought evil in the Monster Squad and the Lost Boys, children WERE the monsters you fear. Enjoy some rather dated, rather poorly done but altogether fun special effects work. You’ll never look at black nail polish the same way again.

The Children (2008)

How to Build a Human Centipede (Complete Sequence):

1. First acquire as many subjects as one might deem necessary to complete a full (12 individuals minimum). Acquisitions may vary, but any limitation for subject propagation is created only in your mind. Kidnapping is best. Willing participants will be few and far between. Preparation should include tying up subjects prior to going any further in the centipede erection process. (repeat each step below for all subjects).

2. Incapacitate subjects. Again, methods may vary, but should include bonking them on the head like so many field mice (you Little Bonnie Foo Foo you).

3. Remove teeth. Hammer. Nuff Said.

4. Insert dirty knife into knee cap area in an effort to sever tendons. This has the duplicitous effect of incapacitating your subjects and creating a more utilitarian walking apparatus out of the now useless legs

5. Cut glutious connector flaps out of the rear end of your subject. Be careful not to cut any major arteries lest you waste precious segments. Bleeding will be profuse.

6. Attach mouth to skin flaps and anus. Using a staple gun, be sure to create a tight seal between mouth and anus. This should allow for maximum digestive efficiency, help in healing and decreased feces eruptions.

7. Once mouth and anus are affixed using the glutious connector flaps, be sure to add additional support structures around the head and buttocks to allow for proper connectivity and healing. Duct tape may be substituted for gauze to ensure the proper support and entrapment.

8. Connect each segment until they are all affixed sharing one digestive tract. There should be one free head to consume food and one exposed hind quarters to produce waste. You know, as if you went to medical school and Doctor’s really should use the tool box in the garage to perform surgery more often.

Now you should have what resembles the human version of a centipede with individual humans acting as the segments of a centipede body with an abundance of legs. While size may and number of subjects may vary it is important to note that twelve subjects must utilized in order to meet the definition of a “complete” or “full” sequence. See Thomas Six’s forward at the beginning of this text for details. Size and shape may vary. Overall success rate is somewhere in the low 80th percentile with those achieving maximum success in a controlled medical environment utilizing anesthesia.

Note: Do not attempt to make your complete sequence H-C eat dog food.

Note: Do not attempt to teach your complete sequence H-C to walk.

Note: Do not leave your complete sequence H-C unattended.

Caution: May result in nausea, vomiting and copycatting.

Few movies have been hyped nearly as much as The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence). To give a couple of names that come to mind when I think of movies that have attained a similar level of hype, I think Avatar, the recent Thing prequel and probably any number of the Harry Potter sequels.  You walk into a party and say that you’ve seen the Human Centipede and you might as well have said you met Tom Cruise (Top Gun era Tom Cruise of course). The difference between Human Centipede 2 and any of those movies? The Gross Out. Avatar and Harry Potter don’t promise a gross out, and while the Thing definitely had quite a lot to live up with regard to its John Carpenter sibling, one can easily argue that we don’t look for the gross out with the Thing; we look for technical skill in the art of creative effects creation. Does HC2 live up to the gross out? Not sure whether to go to peruse this film with a vomit bag or toilet paper? Let’s find out what Tom Six has delivered to us.

In brief, the sequel to Human Centipede begins with a rather unusual looking man watching the original Human Centipede longing for… well, we don’t exactly know what. We know that he is obsessed with the Centipede, drawing schematics, filling an album and repeatedly watching the film. As we are gradually brought into his world of Dr. Heiter obsession, he is forced to deal with a number of awkward social and psychological tests of will by his Doctor and his mother.  We begin to understand Martin Lomax’s (Laurence R. Harvey) dysfunction. Lomax begins drawing up the plans to put his obsession with the HC into a real working human bug, free from the movie screen.  He wants to build a centipede; a human centipede.

I had to watch this film twice. I don’t think I’m going to give anything away that you haven’t already sufficiently guessed, but I fell asleep while watch this movie before the damn centipede was even assembled. Now I know what your thinking. Late at night. No caffeine. Lack of sleep. Nope. I was well rested, not tired and had just finished a Diet Mountain Dew (try it, it’s electric green). I fell asleep because the film’s too gosh darn quiet. I fell asleep because the opening is one slightly more obvious psychoanalytic trick after another taken straight out of the DSM-IV. I fell asleep because I was down right bored. There are plenty of things I like about this film, but the pacing certainly isn’t one of them. The lack of audio stimulation had me slapping myself to stay awake.  I was able to make it through the full film the second time but found myself waiting for that special something to get my stomach turning rather than my eyes closing.

The characters are your standard HC fare. One crazy centipede builder and his many marionettes tied together with loose stitching and gauze or duct tape as the case may be. I don’t think you’ll find any Oscar worth performances here, but Laurence R. Harvey as Martin Lomax is more than slightly creepy. He silent, staring. His focus is in his own mind and his eyes only move to keep him from running into walls. Martin Lomax is a character that you fear meeting in the men’s room or a parking garage (his place of employ in the film).  I found myself begging him to speak.  I wanted a crazy piece of laughter. Something beyond the grumbles and wheezing, but if he doesn’t make you feel anxiety ridden then maybe you’ll just have to let the ass to mouth do it for you.

As we said earlier, this film is anticipated for the gross out. In Human Centipede: First Sequence, we all got a taste (yuck) of ass to mouth in a very non-porn way. For those of you who have not as of yet scene the First Sequence I can assure you, that you may want to stick with the latest Vivid video production rather than enduring the thought of swallowing feces (even from a pretty young lady). I think that the concept of ass to mouth is losing some steam much like Necrophilia and Cannibalism started to lose their edge in the early 1980′s. Once you’ve Googled Two Girls, One Cup or Four Girls Finger Paint, shit shock humor starts to get tame no matter how explicit. HC2 gives does have a novel “effect” that helps to bring home the ass to mouth, twelve folks, one digestive tract aspect. When the shitting starts you’ll be seeing brown. That’s all we’ll say about that. Not impressed. I guess we’ll have to go watch A Serbian Film again to get shocked (ooo… burn). The Brits banned this film and wouldn’t let it out of the censor’s eye until they cut thirty plus pieces of film. Having seen this film uncut I can only say that we must be in Video Nasty mood again. There’s very little here that you haven’t seen. It’s almost more artsy then gory which is a huge let down to me.

My advice: Build Your Own!

Guess what, horror folk?  Halloween is over.  Yep, our month has ended and now we go head long into those horrid winter months polluted with family, cold weather, and shitty movies clogging the multiplex dam.  It can be a miserable time of year (particularly for us Midwestern and East Coast folks) and it can draw out all kinds of bad stuff festering on the inside.  So, I was trying to come up a way to keep us from getting buried too deep into those doldrums.  Here’s what I came up with:  Honesty.  I want to just come clean on things.  You know, like a Steve Earle song…just give you my unbridled honest opinion.  It’s not to say that I haven’t done this before.  I always try to be totally open in anything I write.  But, I’m talking about something different this time.  I’m talking about things that as a horror lover could be perceived as ridiculous and/or embarrassing for me to make public.  Fuck it: It’s theraputic and potentially, kind of hilarious.  Here we go…

Ghost Adventures:  I really tried hard, believe me.  I tried to not love this show, and for that matter, these 3 dudes.  I failed.  My wife, son, and I watch the show weekly.  We always make sure to DVR it and watch it together, analyzing all the silly (and circumstancial) “evidence of the paranormal” they collect.  Some of it is unbearably stupid, but every so often they capture something that gives me the creeps.  For real.  Like, goosebumps all the way down my spine, hard nipples, etc.  I get the willies from this goddamn show on occasion.

I’ve never had any sort of personal paranormal experience and it’s probably largely due to the fact that I’ve never been a believer.  I’m starting to kind of straddle that line now.  I got to a point where things show up on that show I can’t explain.  That kind of pisses me off.  And begrudgingly, I have to hand it to them:  They REALLY believe in what they’re doing!  3 grown men  talking to invisible things in the dark, yelping at every weird bump in the night.  It’s ridiculous, foolish, and I can’t get enough of it.  Zak, Nick, and Aaron; you win.  I’m entertained.

Last House On The Left Remake:  While on its theater run, my wife and I saw this film in an inexplicably packed house.  Obviously, we knew what was coming…apparently, the rest of the patrons did not.  As the film carried on, folks just walked off in pairs.  By the time the film had finished, there was probably a third less people in the theater than when it had started.  Those that did stay had looks of repulsion and guilt strewn all about their faces.  It was quite possibly one of the oddest experiences I’ve ever had with a movie.  I also feel like it has a lot to do with why I liked the film.  We both caught ourselves giggling at the gasps.  It was like a room full of Southern bells and their gentleman suitors had just heard the family matriarch fart in the middle of a toast.  As I’m sure a lot of you did, we expected to see the things we saw.  It’s fucking Last House, for chrissakes!  Taking into consideration the fact that there weren’t a lot of good options in the theater at that point in time and most of them used the name “Wes Craven” as good faith measurement, still wasn’t proper enough warning.  This hilarious experience is my sentimental attachment to this flick.  Ah, the fucking suburbs…

Nightmare On Elm Street:   Not a fan…there, I said it!  I’ve always preferred Jason when it comes to the heavy hitters of slashing.  Freddy comes off as hokey to me.  I don’t like his one-liners and I think that in comparison to the rest of those major franchises, this one derailed worse than any.  That’s not to say all of the other big names weren’t without fault, but NOES never did anything for me (with the exception of NOES 3…that one I love!).  I’ve seen them all several times, I understand the importance to the genre, I respect it’s successful longevity, but I don’t give a shit about it.  If NOES is on one station and Sophie’s Choice is on another…I’m going for the tear jerker.

Gore Metal/Psychobilly/Horror Punk:  That could’ve been immediately followed by “suck wet bags of asshole”.  I am a huge music fan.  It’s the other half of my brain.  I’ve been playing in bands since I was 14 and I can’t get myself to stop doing it.  It’s wonderful.  But the stuff that too often makes the rounds in the horror community gives me brain tumors.  Look, I love The Misfits.  I love Entombed and Death.  I think Jerry Lee Lewis was fantastic.  That doesn’t mean that I need 6000 bands in all black singing songs about The Evil Dead.  In fact, I’d rather have anything but that.  So, the Misfits posturing can stop at ANY moment.  Seriously. Please. Stop.  The same rule applies to gore metal.  Cookie monster vocals, and bad lyrics aren’t enough to get by on.  I’m not entirely certain why these sub-genres have been such a widely used thing considering the immense saturation, but it’s been quite enough.  None of it is scary and none of it is good.

The Films of Nathan Schiff:  If you haven’t heard of him, I certainly wouldn’t be surprised.  He is a Long Island based filmmaker who’s notoriety was derived from a handful of Super 8mm films he shot in his teen years.  Weasels Rip My Flesh, Long Island Cannibal Massacre, and They Don’t Cut The Grass Anymore were all released in 2004 on DVD by Image Entertainment to very little fanfare (duh!).  My curiosity was peaked by a friend who worked on putting the discs together for release.  He passed them onto me and that was it-I was hooked.

There’s no getting around it; the movies are shit.  They look, feel and sound like they were made by a child because they were.  But if you can put some of the quality (or lack thereof) aside, you’ll find this cat was wise beyond his years.  Tales of class war, god complexes, environmental collapse: Sure, these theories are presented with shitty wigs but the passion is definitely intact.  Schiff is one of those rare birds that would be lumped into a category with Andy Milligan and the Kuchar Bros.  No rules, no limits-just weird.  I’ve shown his films to friends who look at me like I’m insane for even giving these the time of day.  Maybe I am, but if insanity involves Nathan Schiff, I’m glad to be there.

I Spit On Your Grave Remake:  It’s another one I am ashamed to admit  just how much I thoroughly enjoyed.  Certainly we all reacted the same way to the mere idea of this film being remade, but I liked the end result.  Shitloads of vengeful gore and chaos made this entire viewing experience a joyride for me.  I was almost giddy while watching the movie.  In all reality, there was enough there to remake.  Did it carry the social weight that it did in its original version?  Fuck no! But where it lacked in that area, it DID make up for in being an unabashed, nasty ass gore flick.  Call me shallow, but seeing her exact some sick revenge on those vile hilljacks was a blast.    Guilty pleasure certified.

Lucifer Valentine’s Vomit Gore Trilogy:  Ugh, yeah.  I don’t feel good about this one, either.  Go big or go home, right?  Right?! Eh, nevermind…I deserve your disappointment.  (Sidenote:  I DID try and write this these flicks up in an article several months ago, and couldn’t find the proper words to defend my stance.  I’m sure anyone who calls themselves Lucifer Valentine is a douche nozzle, but damn it if I don’t like those flicks!)

Television A Grown Man Shouldn’t Enjoy:  This whole article is all about honesty.  Well, then I’m going to be honest.  I know that being a horror fan is all about liking “hardcore shit”.  I do.  There’s nothing I enjoy more than being punched in the gut by a flick.  I’ve ingested my fair share of grotesque things over the years.  From Pasolini to August Underground, I’ve intentionally sought out those deplorable things that people whisper about (or clamor over via Facebook).  That doesn’t mean that’s all I watch.  There’s only so many times one can watch I Stand Alone before they decide they need a change of pace.   Though the giant beard and this website may point towards the contrary, I am a man of varied tastes.  It just so happens that some of those tastes aren’t ones you’d expect…

Okay, so here it is.  I really like Glee.  I watch it every week.  I laugh at it.  I enjoy the characters and the songs.  Several times, I’ve gotten choked up watching it.   While we’re on the topic, Glee isn’t the only one: Suburgatory, The New Girl, etc. are all on my weekly list.  I watch them, I smile and I feel good.  They evoke all kinds of ridiculous emotions in me and I’ve kept that very secretive for far too long.  I LOVE TELEVISION SHOWS THAT MAKE ME LAUGH AND CRY AND I’M NOT ASHAMED TO ADMIT IT!!!

Phew, that feels better.  I’m sure it’s kind of scatterbrained and nonsensical, but it was relieving.  I did this as a precursor to a batch of articles that are going to be going up on The Blood Sprayer over the next few weeks.  They’re lists of favorites, least favorites, and every absurdity in between.  It’s a precursor to lots of fun we have in store for you.  You’ve noticed different names on the site and their will be a few more.  We’re getting the site down to a smaller, stronger core of writers who wants to tackle genre film and culture from a different, more personal angle.  We’re going to do all we can to give you the best of the genre world from our heartfelt perspective.  An honest, passionate, and in this case, even self-deprecating  point of view on how we view the horror culture.  We’re all like you…weird and obsessed with many things.  Here’s to us continuing in these addictions together!

Your modern day zombie picture just isn’t about zombies. Each one differs greatly, but quite a few “people” stories are disguising themselves as the undead. The synopsis offered below makes me think we have a tale that has the potential to realize a story that might hit close to home.  Sickness, Zombie Outbreak, Quarantine Zones (which for just keeps me thinking Forbidden Zone for no special reason)… Let’s get psyched for Sick and see if this truly talented crew can scare us. Looks like they might just be holding up the mirror to our face, saying zombie three times and we might see a ghostly image of carnage when really it’s just our reflection. We’ll follow this production as it unfolds.

The feature film Sick, directed by Ryan M. Andrews (BLACK EVE) and produced by Bruno Marino (ANYTHING GOES)goes to camera in the greater Toronto area Thursday, November 3rd.

Besides the lead, newcomer Christina Aceto (LET IT OUT), the latest talent lineup
for Sick includes Richard Sutton (TENSIONS, LINGERIE), Robert Nolan (RED:
WEREWOLF HUNTER), Maxim-model Veronika London (SEARCHING FOR
ANGELS) and horror scream queen Debbie Rochon (NIGHT OF THE LIVING
DEAD – 30TH ANNIVERSARY, TROMEO & JULIET).

Synopsis:

It’s been two years since the beginning of the zombie outbreak. Millions have died and entire cities have been destroyed, but the human race is finally winning the war. Survivors of the outbreak live in Quarantine Zones and soldiers continue hunting the infected while scientists still look for a cure. Mckay and Seph are the only two soldiers to survive a surprise attack and are stranded far from their Quarantine Zone. While back tracking through the woods, they cross paths with Dr. Leigh Rozetta. A well respected scientist who has been working on curing the sick, she has left the Quarantine Zone. She explains to Mckay and Seph that when she originally fled home at the beginning of the war, her mother was too sick to travel and her parents refused to leave. They committed suicide. And now that the humans are winning, she wants to return to give them a proper burial.

With nightfall close at hand, the safest thing for them to do is secure the secluded home and wait til dawn to continue on. However, things may not be that easy, as the “sick” are  all around them, in more ways than they know.

Rounding out the creative team is Director of Photography Michael Jari Davidson
(NOSTRUM) who is also producing the film, visual effects supervisor Derek Grime
(FIGHT CLUB, eXistenZ), fight choreographer Tommy Chang (X-MEN, DAWN OF
THE DEAD) and Fangoria magazine editor-in-chief Chris Alexander providing the
score.

Follow Sick on the web at:

Sick: Survive the Night

Facebook: SICK Facebook Page

Blogger Production blog Production Blog

If it wasn’t a Ti West picture I do believe I would think I was having a bad case of trailer envy. Trailer envy is that feeling where you absolutely want to see the film you have just watched the trailer for. You get a little psyched, spread some buzz among your friends and then the movie comes out. Turns out the trailer reel was the entire movie with filler removed. This, of course, will not be a farce. This will be Ti West and Magnolia in every sense of those two names. Good poster. Good trailer. December can’t come soon enough.

View the trailer exclusively on iTunes Trailers: http://trailers.apple.com/trailers/magnolia/theinnkeepers/

Synopsis:

After over one hundred years of service, The Yankee Pedlar Inn is shutting its doors for good. The last remaining employees -Claire (Sara Paxton) and Luke (Pat Healy) – are determined to uncover proof of what many believe to be one of New England’s most haunted hotels. As the Inn’s final days draw near, odd guests check in as the pair of minimum wage “ghost hunters” begin to experience strange and alarming events that may ultimately cause them to be mere footnotes in the hotel’s long unexplained history

THE INNKEEPERS will be available on-demand December 30th and In theatres starting February 3^rd.

Official site: http://www.magnetreleasing.com/theinnkeepers/ Official Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/theinnkeepersmovie

Having not read the previous works in this trilogy I can safely say that I have a level of enthusiasm for this work, but that it is based solely on the description and title. I like apocalypse. I like the concept of a “Bang, Scream and Massacre”. I like the idea of five horseman; it makes me think of a metal band with two guitar players instead of one.  Please check this puppy out and let us know what you think. Something this pseudo biblical deserves some fire and brimstone.

GUNSLINGERS VERSUS THE LIVING DEAD IN THE FIFTH HORSEMAN

The Apocalypse Trilogy Goes Out with a Bang, Scream and Massacre. TORONTO, CANADA – Oct. 28/11 – The Apocalypse Trilogy by G. Wells Taylor gallops to its horrifying conclusion in The Fifth Horseman now available for download at online booksellers. This explosive mix of classic western storytelling and gothic horror delivers a terrifying and bloodstained final act to Taylor’s doomsday epic.

Pandora City sits on the cattle trail north to Babylon. One day a wounded rider arrives with death stalking hard on his heels. The legends say that four horsemen will come to burn the earth and one will come to save it. So who is this rider? Over two centuries have passed since events chronicled in The Forsaken. Survivors have climbed out of the ruins and struggle to build a new life on the frontier of a dying world.

Download the Apocalypse Trilogy Book Three: The Fifth Horseman for $3.99 at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Kobo, Sony eBookstore, iBookstore and Smashwords where you can get Book One: When Graveyards Yawn for FREE and Book Two: The Forsaken for $3.99. Visit GWellsTaylor.com for links.

The Apocalypse Trilogy is a tale spanning centuries that weaves hard-boiled detectives, immortal children, zombie gangsters, angels, demons, and western gunslingers into a terrifying narrative of divine and human weakness set against a backdrop of decaying cities and radioactive wastelands.

See how it all ends. Stop by and see for yourself: http://www.gwellstaylor.com/blog/

Paranormal Activity is a series that I adore for its ability to get under my skin. As I have stated in several reviews before, I have a predication towards liking these types of films and “found footage” is something that I can easily get absorbed in. I just want you to take that into consideration when reading the review, I don’t want to oversell anything or trick you into seeing a film that you won’t like. Anyways, Paranormal Activity 3 comes at us hot off the tail of Paranormal Activity 2 which was a prequel and a sequel to the first film. PA3 is a complete prequel, not giving the viewer anything else to add to the story that has been created after the events of 2. While the 3^rd entry doesn’t divert much for the formula already created in the series, it is still effective, and the mystery behind the girl’s interactions with the demon is enough to keep you still until the credits roll.

Paranormal Activity 3 takes place in the year of 1988, when Katie and Kristi are only kids. Kristi has recently come in contact with an “invisible friend” and takes to staying away from most groups of people. The mother has recently gotten remarried to a man named Dennis, whose job is to record weddings. He starts filming the family like most fathers do, and notices Kristi talking to someone every so often. Julie, the mother, writes it off as something the kids are going through. Dennis begins hearing things at night, and decides to set up cameras in the bedroom and the kid’s bedroom. The danger heightens as Dennis comes closer to finding out who Kristi is talking to and what the “person” wants to do to the family. The film leads up to a brutal and open-ended ending that creates more questions than it answers.

The second film adds a new mechanic to the series by setting up cameras in each room, like a security system, as opposed to the first where it was just Micah using one handheld camera. The third scales back down in its use of mechanics, but it does offer something new and basic. At some point in the film, Dennis sets up a camera in the kitchen on an oscillating fan base. What this means is that the camera moves in place back and forth scanning the kitchen as well as the dining room. This new feature added for some great scenes involving things going on out of the shot, and then when the camera cycled back, we are treated to some sort of scare. Sure, it’s not as extensive as the 2^nd films use of cameras but it’s effective and I prefer it to the wide scope attitude of Paranormal Activity 2.

The scares in the film are the same scares you have come to know and love. A good amount of the things you see on screen are just more refined scares that you have already seen (redundancy!). The film gets more aggressive compared to the other films and it makes for a heighten sense of “oh shit”. I am not going to tell you that this film is significantly different from its predecessors, but it takes the time to add something new to the scares already established, and that’s all you can ask for in a film of this genre.

The story thus far has kept me interested and wanting more. The writing has been contiguous with mythology throughout the series, even when it offered up new questions. Not at any point did I feel that the mythos has derailed or somebody forgot to mention something.  Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman, the directors of Catfish, were able to hold everything together with the script Christopher Landon wrote (he did PA2 as well). PA3 does give us a glimpse into the lives of the Katie and Kristi as children, and it plays into what we have heard spoken by them as adults. PA3 does not add a nice little bow on the story, it hardly answers any questions you may have and it makes you ask even more. That’s not to say that it’s poorly written, it just means that they want to milk this cow for awhile and keep us coming back for more. To that I say, YEAH!

Chances are if you loved the other films, you have already seen this but if you’re on the fence, I suggest you go check it out. I actually prefer this film over the others because it has that simplicity like the first but it also has those bombastic attacks that were inherent in the second. Ted Brown, writer for this site, reviewed the film for The Liberal Dead. If you don’t know, Ted hated the series but this one changed his mind, you can read his review here. Sure, the movie is more Paranormal Activity we already know, but it’s still effective and wonderfully entertaining. I am anxious to see 4 and what new ways they will flesh out the story, but until then, I think I’ll leave the lights on.