With the zombie invasion brought on by George A. Romero’s seminal “Dawn of the Dead” Bruno Mattei’s “Night of the Zombies” (aka “Hell of the Living Dead”, “Virus”, “Zombie Creeping Flesh”, “Zombie 4″…I think that’s it) brought to the screen a film rich full of horrible use of stock footage, zombie clichés, and a serious violation of background scores.

With my recent noodling and research within the business aspects of Italian horror cinema, I’ve come to many conclusions when intimately viewing and critically analyzing interviews of the numerous producers, directors, et al that give their tidbits on what it was like to make the film in question.

The crucial and most proliferat­ing main point unearthed?: They just don’t give a damn!

Contrary to popular belief, the only thrill said Italian filmmakers obtain out of pre-production, pro­duction, and post-production of an Italian-made horror film is going to the bank to watch the funds ac­cumulate.

Director Bruno Mattei. This screencap is from the featurette on the Hell of the Living Dead Anchor Bay DVD.

But…getting back on track…with the above-mentioned tidbits of information left for you to consume, consider why a

film like Mattei’s was, more often than not, ridiculed and/or banished beyond recogni­tion. Mattei, like most of the Italian filmmakers of the era, was looking to ride the “Romero Wagon”, but, with a meager budget that could only hope to produce a mediocre financial gain. Business as usual. His resulting effort was “Night of the Zombies”.

Although not a bad film, its major flaws are out in the forefront, mean­ing that if you are seriously offended by some of the filmmaking tactics that Bruno Mattei rips-off, than you are taking the film too seriously.

Way too seriously for your own good…like you should stop the film, breathe a deep sigh of relief for feeling like an imbecile, and go have a Yoo-Hoo! Mattei knew that the film score used for this film was eerily reminiscent of the very bandwagon he ceremoniously rode. Mattei also knew that despite the non-invigorating punch of the color, the S.W.A.T. team’s jumpsuits resembled some far-out take on “Dawn of the Dead”. If you look closely, you might even glimpse the previous owners name tags that once adorned the suits beforehand: Woolley, Roger, Peter, Roy. He also blatantly misuses and misrepresents stock footage of a documentary (the esoteric “Of The Dead”) on death hat stood in for many of the key island scenes introducing the New Guinea tribes.

Eerily familiar S.W.A.T. team in the beginning of Mattei’s Night of the Zombies (with eerily accompanying Goblin score)

This was not a seriously dim man!

In contrast, Bruno Mattei and company used what they had and spent as little as they needed to, in order to obtain a film that would earn substantially to fans of George Romero’s zombie cinema. As with all film efforts, this is the primary idea. The premise of the film is still there. Claudio Fragrasso crafted a heavily balanced script with prime social commentary and ideals. The idea of creating a bio-weap­on to use on 3rd World denizens so that they could eradicate each other is overlooked completely within the film. I believe it to lend a healthy crutch to the gore and cheese acting that is so prevalent within films of this magnitude.

All in all, this is a healthy effort in Italian horror cinema that warrants many viewings and discover­y for years to come.

Greetings, Brothers and Sisters of the Psychotronic Video World! Wes hooked me up with a screener copy of ALYCE KILLS, a 2011 offering from director Jay Lee (who had previously directed ZOMBIE STRIPPERS!) that will be available on VOD May 21st and in theaters May 24th.  The movie sounded interesting; here’s the synopsis:

 Life takes a downward spiral for Alyce after a night of partying goes terribly wrong and she accidentally pushes her best friend off of a building.  Panicked, Alyce lies to the police about her involvement.  When she later learns that her friend miraculously survived, she begins to unravel; losing sleep, her job, and eventually her sanity.  There is only one way for her to take control… But will she stop with just one murder?

Let’s take a look, shall we?

What ALYCE KILLS almost feels like is three very different films shading into one another.

Alyce (Jade Dornfeld) and Caroll (Tamara Feldman) are two hip, urbane 20-somethings having a bad day.  Alyce is an obscure, faceless drone toiling in the bowels of a morally-questionable white-collar firm.  Caroll just caught her boyfriend cheating on her.  The first third of the film is a character study of these two women as they seek solace in each other’s company (not in the sapphic way) and go through red velvet cake, red wine, and then harder drugs in efforts to console themselves.  We’re introduced to these women as they’re unraveling, baring their souls as they perceive their world crumbling around them.

With Carroll’s fall from the roof, the film shifts to fixate on Alyce as she begins a downward spiral into guilt, self-loathing, paranoia and despair, relying more and more on drug-usage to try and “hold herself together.”  It doesn’t work, and before long she’s a hallucinatory wreck – the kind of figure I imagine as a more believable presentation of the “Quirky Single Girl” archetype embodied in every character played by Zooey Deschanel.  There are attempts in this section to create the sort of blurring of reality and hallucination that made VIDEODROME so memorable, but it doesn’t quite work for me – the hallucinatory sequences were a little too arthouse in their presentation to truly blur boundaries.

The third act, well, I won’t spoil the explosive climax, but let’s just say the tone shifts again into the realm of fountaining splatterpunk, like the bastard offspring of early Sam Raimi and Eli Roth.

I thought the film seemed over-ambitious in what it was trying to accomplish.  I felt like the filmmakers couldn’t decide what kind of film they wanted to make – serious character study, psychological ghost story, outrageous slasher – and tried to make all three at once.  I thought each third of the film was solid enough on its own, and if I’d had longer with the screener (time-sensitive digital screeners.  C’est la vie.) I’d watch each third on a separate night.  The first third is a really good character study, the second third is an excellent psychological ghost thriller, and the final third is a fantastic slasher.  But the film does not transition smoothly from one to another, and suffers for those jarring jumps.

Visually, the film runs the gamut.  There are some beautifully shot sequences with absolutely brilliant mise en scène; a specific sequence of Caroll vomiting a brilliant, rusty red comes to mind, grabbing the viewer and demanding that they ask themselves what’s happened to this girl that she’s vomiting blood.  Other sequences…there’s an emphasis on (what I assume to be intentionally) out-of-focus shots, even in the first third of the film, that struck me as awkward and too highly suggestive of a dream-like atmosphere to be appropriate in the first third of the film, being more properly fitting in the second.

Overall, I’m going to split the difference and give this film a solidly middling review.  It’s not perfect, it’s not terrible, I liked it better than ZOMBIE STRIPPERS! but I’m not sure I’d go out of my way to purchase a copy of the film.

You probably know that Ray Harryhausen, the special effects maestro behind such classic films as JASON AND THE ARGONAUTS, THE BEAST FROM 20,000 FATHOMS, and CLASH OF THE TITANS, passed away on Tuesday at the age of 92.

I’ve been blown away by the press coverage of Mr. Harryhausen’s life and career following his passing.  Every news outlet I follow has run a tribute to him and his work, citing praise of Harryhausen from George Lucas, Steven Spielberg, Tom Hanks, Edgar Wright, Peter Jackson and others.  USA Today even transformed the logo of their “Life and Arts” section, applying Medusa’s serpentine locks to their usual purple ball.

I think it’s safe to say that Harryhausen’s influence over the modern filmmaking scene, even if his methods are considered out-dated, cannot be overstated.

I’m not here to talk about how Harryhausen lived, or how he died.  So many others have already covered that.  I want to tell you about what he meant to me.

My association with Ray Harryhausen’s body of work dates back to 1990 or 1991; given that I was born in 1987, I think that says something.  My absolute earliest cinematic memory – the very first film I can remember seeing in any context – was CLASH OF THE TITANS on TV.  My parents sat my three-year old ass in front of the tube, put that on (I’m thinking it was showing on HBO or TBS) and took a breather while I sat there enthralled.  Barney and Friends doesn’t compare to Perseus decapitating Medusa, let me tell you! I had no conception of special effects – and I was beyond blown away by beasts like Medusa, the Kraken, even the scorpions that spring from Medusa’s blood.

Needless to say, CLASH immediately became my favorite film of all time, a title it holds to this day.  My parents quickly learned to scan the TV listings for it, plopping me down in front of it every time it came on.  I somehow never had a copy of the film on VHS, but I picked up a copy damn quick when I made the switch to DVDs.

Almost as soon as I could read, I began getting books about monsters (and monster movies) out from the library, and from these I learned the name of the man – nay, warlock – whose hands gave life to the monsters of my dreams: Ray Harryhausen.

I began to seek out his other films: JASON AND THE ARGONAUTS.  20 MILLION MILES TO EARTH.  THE VALLEY OF GWANGI.  THE SEVENTH VOYAGE OF SINBAD.  BEAST FROM 20,000 FATHOMS.  I loved them all.  Every one of them a gem, an unassailable masterpiece of special effects artistry.  Even if the story around them wasn’t too exciting, Harryhausen’s marvelous monsters more than made up for any screenwriting deficiencies.  Who cares that JASON AND THE ARGONAUTS ends before the main plot pot – Jason overthrowing the unjust king – is resolved? There’s a skeleton fight! Jason battles an entire squadron of skeletal warriors, in a scene that takes four minutes on the screen and took four months to animate.  Who can care about – or even notice – plot holes when faced with such an awe-inspiring sight as that?

Eventually I began to experiment – tentatively – with stop-motion animation myself.  Lacking the wherewithal to build actual puppets, I created short animated clips of action figures moving on their own.  I’d still like, someday, to make an actual stop-motion puppet and film something worth showing.  With work and other real life concerns constantly pressing, it sometimes seems unlikely, but I try to maintain my inspiration from Harryhausen – the man saw KING KONG when he was 13 and made a career off it – and I know someday I’ll get that film shot.

Thank you, Mr. Harryhausen, for everything. Thank you for the Rhedosaurus, for the octopus, the Ymir, the Flying Saucers, the skeletons, the cyclops, Medusa and the Kraken. But most of all, thank you for opening a doorway to cinematic wonder and excitement for me, and so many others like me. Rest in Peace, and may Zeus hang your portrait in the sky as he did Perseus’ and Andromeda’s.

A couple science fiction titles fell into my possession from the kind folk at Reality Entertainment.  Alien Agenda: Project Grey and Angel, Alien, & UFO Encounters From Another Dimension (yeah, that’s a real title) are both already out on DVD.  Which one is worth your bug-eyed money?

Alien Agenda: Project Grey

Project Grey (what I believe the original title was when it was filmed in 2007) is a fictitious tale about five friends who venture out for a final camping trip at a friends cabin.  Justin’s family is selling the cabin due to the death of his mother, but he is looking for a new start and wants to propose to his girlfriend.  Unfortunate for Justin, his girl is banging his best friend on the side and he is about to find out the hard way.  This causes Justin to invite his friend for an early morning walk, and he brings a pistol along!  Meanwhile, a group of Russian soldiers (!) are hunting down a mysterious man who happens to look a lot like Justin.  On top of all that, we get glimpses inside the local mental hospital where a patient has a bizarre tale that he is sharing with his doctor!

So what does this all mean?  It means Project Grey has too many subplots going on to keep a solid grasp on what the hell is going on!  The first half of the film is all about the friends, setting up characters and playing more like a dramatic movie.  This is also the strongest part of the movie, as I was curious exactly what was going on, and what would happen to these people.  Then the Russians showed up, and the movie lost all it’s focus.  There’s a time and a place for the less is more philosophy, and Project Grey really could have used a lot less.  They took an interesting idea, and covered it in unnecessary characters and action that really ruined the pace.  Rumor has it this movie was shot with no screenplay, and if so that’s where the problem lies.  Too many ideas and no structure.

Angel, Alien, & UFO Encounters From Another Dimension

From Another Dimension (I’m not about to type all that again) is a documentary from Ken Klein that shows actual video footage of what can only be described as Angels and Aliens!  Seriously! I’ve seen the footage myself!

Okay, enough yanking your chain.  From Your Dimension does have video footage, albeit extremely grainy footage of lights and shadows.  Unexplainable lights, and shadows which shouldn’t be there, so that can only mean it must be extra terrestrial!  I wish I was kidding, but that sums up this sad sack of a documentary in two sentences right there.  The interviews and camera work are absolutely horrendous, and the people involved are as far from experts as I’ve ever seen.  This may be one of the least professional, and worst documentaries I’ve ever seen.

So, if you have money to burn in your pockets, and a hankering for some alien goodness I’d say buy Aliens or Close Encounters again before touching either of these.  It’s too bad, because Project Grey had some potential and I believe directors Christian Blaze and Crystal-Dawn Rosales have a solid movie in them.

On June 4th, Anchor Bay Entertainment releases Charlie Zone on Blu-ray™ and DVD. Winner of four major awards at the 2011 Atlantic Film Festival, the film stars Amanda Crew (Sex Drive, Charlie St. Cloud, The Haunting in Connecticut), Glen Gould (“Cashing In,” “Mohawk Girls”) and Mpho Koaho (Saw III, Four Brothers, Blindness).

From Myriad Pictures, Charlie Zone is a twisting dramatic thriller set against the drug-ravaged streets of one of Canada’s roughest neighborhoods. Avery Paul, a disgraced boxer and ex-convict, is hired to abduct a runaway from a crack house in the city’s notorious “Charlie Zone,” and return her safely to her family. But nothing goes quite as planned and nothing is quite what it seems. What follows is a harrowing ride through the underbelly of a seemingly picture-postcard Canadian city, as two lost people attempt to face the darkness—in their world and themselves—and hopefully find redemption.

Charlie Zone is a compelling and multi-dimensional portrait of a place, its people, and their struggle to survive.

Magnet Entertainment has released the official poster for Europa Report, the science fiction film coming to iTunes and On Demand on June 27th, and in select theaters August 2nd.

A unique blend of documentary, alternative history and science fiction thriller, Europa Report follows a contemporary mission to Jupiter’s moon Europa to investigate the possible existence of alien life within our solar system. When unmanned probes suggest that a hidden ocean could exist underneath Europa’s icy surface and may contain single-celled life, Europa Ventures, a privately funded space exploration company, sends six of the best astronauts from around the world to confirm the data and explore the revolutionary discoveries that may lie in the Europan ocean.

After a near-catastrophic technical failure that leads to loss of communication with Earth and the tragic death of a crew member, the surviving astronauts must overcome the psychological and physical toll of deep space travel, and survive a discovery on Europa more profound than they had ever imagined.

It’s the old story…a drifter, some mummies, some vomit

ANCHOR BAY FILMS PRESENTS

THE RAMBLER

Remember midnight movies from the 1970s? Those after-hour slices of cult celluloid that stunned audiences with their mash-up of genres, innovative narratives and psychedelic imagery? Get ready to relive those hallucinogenic halcyon days again, as Anchor Bay Films and AKA Pictures Present An XYZ Films / Brooklyn Reptyle Films Production of The Rambler!

Fresh from sold-out screenings at this year’s Sundance and SXSW Festivals, Anchor Bay Films announces the June 25th Blu-ray™ and DVD release of the groundbreaking indie-short turned feature film starring Dermot Mulroney (Stoker, The Grey), Lindsay Pulsipher (“True Blood,” “Justified”) and Natasha Lyonne (American Pie, American Reunion, But I’m A Cheerleader). Written and directed by Calvin Lee Reeder,

In the film, a stranger known only as “the Rambler” (Mulroney) is just released from prison and anxious to build a new life for himself. Coming home to a faithless girlfriend (Lyonne), he quickly realizes his old life is truly behind him. With the promise of a job and some stability from his brother, the Rambler embarks on a cross-country journey to what hopefully is a new start.

Like Odysseus and other travelers on the road-to-wisdom before him, the Rambler – armed only with his cowboy hat, shades, a guitar and traveling sack — will encounter all manner of obstacles and dangers on his road to redemption, including a scientist with a dream-recording (onto VHS!) machine, a cab driver with an unnatural love of the original Frankenstein film, “mummies” in the back of trucks and, oh — did I mention exploding heads?

ANCHOR BAY ENTERTAINMENT AND RADiUS-TWC PRESENT    6 SOULS ON BLU-RAY™ AND DVD

Anchor Bay Entertainment and RADiUS- TWC announced today the Blu-ray™ and DVD release of the gripping psychological thriller, 6 Souls. From the producers of The Ring, 6 Souls stars multiple-Oscar® nominee and Golden Globe® Award winner Julianne Moore (HBO’s Game Change, Magnolia), and Golden Globe® Award winners Jonathan Rhys Meyers (Showtime’s “The Tudors,” Bend It Like Beckham) and Frances Conroy (HBO’s “Six Feet Under,” The Aviator). Written by Michael Cooney (Identity) and co-directed by Måns Mårlind and Björn Stein (Storm), 6 Souls heads to retail on July 2, 2013 for Blu-ray and DVD.

After the death of her husband, forensic psychiatrist Dr. Cara Harding’s (Julianne Mooore) faith in God has been shaken, but not her belief in science. In an attempt to open her up to accepting unexplainable psychiatric theories, her father introduces her to Adam (Jonathan Rhys Meyers), a patient with multiple personalities, who takes on some of the physical characteristics of his other personalities. Cara quickly discovers that Adam’s personalities are murder victims, and the more she finds out about him and his past, the closer she and her loved ones are to becoming murder victims themselves.

“Moore is absolutely terrific as Cara Harding, maintaining a dedicated, delicate portrayal of the doctor’s internal debate even when confronted with the unexplainable,” said Ken Hanley of Fangoria. “Chills in the film range from the psychological to supernatural, brought about by seasoned performers who know how to sell a thrill,” added Jake Dee of ArrowInTheHead.com. “Rhys Meyers alters transition with a creepy, violent snap back of the neck before coming to with complete clarity as a new soul.”

6 Souls also stars Jeffrey DeMunn (Shawshank Redemption, The Green Mile), Nathan Corddry (The Ugly Truth, The Invention of Lying), Brooklynn Proulx (Brokeback Mountain), and Brian Anthony Wilson (Law Abiding Citizen, Limitless).

SYNAPSE FILMS PRESENTS
THE HAMMER RAISES AGAIN! JACK THE RIPPER LIVES!
HANDS OF THE RIPPER
Wrap your claws around this creepy Blu-ray/DVD combo!

Another landmark title in Synapse Films’ Hammer Films Collection! Peter Sasdy’s HANDS OF THE RIPPER!

An infant girl watches in horror as her father, the infamous “Jack the Ripper,” brutally murders her mother. Years later, the damaged young Anna (Angharad Rees) is now under the care of a fake psychic and has been forced into a career of prostitution. At the end of a séance one evening, a woman is mysteriously killed. Dr. John Pritchard (Eric Porter) suspects Anna is the murderer but cannot understand how she could perform this unspeakable act. Using new Freudian psychoanalysis techniques, Pritchard experiments on Anna and discovers a shocking secret: the spirit of the “Ripper” is alive and well, and might well be possessing his own daughter! Can this evil be stopped before it’s too late?

Completely restored in high-definition and released uncut for the first time on Blu-ray in the U.S., HANDS OF THE RIPPER is a film widely recognized as one of the most gruesome Hammer horror films ever made.

Special Features:
• THE DEVIL’S BLOODY PLAYTHING: POSSESSED BY HANDS OF THE RIPPER – Featurette
• SLAUGHTER OF INNOCENCE: THE EVOLUTION OF HAMMER GORE – Motion Still Gallery
• U.S. Television Introduction
• Original Theatrical Trailer and TV Spots
• HANDS OF THE RIPPER Motion Still Gallery
• Isolated Music & Effects Audio Track

Eagle One Media is proud to announce it has acquired worldwide rights to the Canadian sci-fi horror film The Corrupted. Directed by John Klappstein and Knighten Richman the feature film will be release this summer on DVD, VOD, and digital platforms within North America and rolled out globally in various territory markets. Shot in Alberta, Canada, The Corrupted features Keltie Squires, Shaun Tisdale (Tucker and Dale vs. Evil), Ashley Tallas, Jeremy Hook, and Anuj Saraswat.

Spring Break meets HP Lovecraft. Where it’s all fun and games…until someone gets infected.

A man quietly strums his guitar at the edge of a tranquil lake in the middle of the night. Through the darkness a beautiful young woman emerges along the shoreline, silent and mysterious. She approaches and whispers something into his ear. When she beckons, he has no choice but to follow. When his friends arrive for a weekend of partying, its obvious…something in him has changed. What did the woman tell him? Why does he seem so distant? Where did she take him?

Today, Psykik Junky Pictures released the first official trailer for their found footage film To Jennifer. Written and Directed by award winning Filmmaker James Cullen Bressack, the Horror/Thriller will be available later this year.

Filmed entirely on the Iphone 5, Bressack has gone through great lengths to make the film available specifically on the mobile device. Thanks to the work of Psykik Junky Pictures and the help and distribution from Apple and Zoovision, The film will be available in it’s entirety as a stand alone App on the itunes marketplace to be downloaded directly to your mobile phone. The app will not only include the film but also special features, much like a DVD would. A price point has not yet been set for the app but Bressack promises to keep the cost low. A Dvd release is also in the works for the film in the future.

“This film was made specifically for the iphone. I am fortunate to have worked with so many amazing people on this project and I think this is a new and unique way to watch a film. This has never been done before and I believe this is a unique new way to distribute a film ,” Bressack states.

To Jennifer stars Chuck Pappas, Jody Barton (Hate Crime), Jessica Cameron (Silent Night), Maria Olsen (Paranormal Activity 3) and James Cullen Bressack and features a cameo from American Mary’s Tristan Risk. The film is being produced by Bressack, Pappas, and Jarret Cohen under the Psykik Junky Pictures umbrella.

The Collective, a leading entertainment management and production company, and top horror website BloodyDisgusting.com, present the psychological thriller THE HAUNTING OF HELENA as part of their Bloody Disgusting Selects film series. A tale of a mysterious woman, a little girl, and her single mother, THE HAUNTING OF HELENA presents a new twist on the legend of the Tooth Fairy.

After a divorce, Sophia moves to the south of Italy with her daughter, Helena. Their new home, an apartment within an austere building of the fascist age, is a chance for them to start a new life. But inside an old storage room hides a mysterious closet and a buried secret. After the loss of Helena’s first baby tooth, a chilling obsession begins and an apparition haunts her sleep. Dreams become nightmares. Nightmares become reality. When Helena collects her classmate’s fallen teeth with an urgent hunger, it is clear that there is far more to their new home than can be seen. Sophia finds herself in a terrifying fight to save her child while maintaining her sanity. THE HAUNTING OF HELENA will keep you at the edge of your seat as it slides in agony along the sharp blade of psychological terror.

THE HAUNTING OF HELENA will be released in select theaters on June 21, 2013. It will be available on Cable VOD in partnership with Tribeca Films and for digital streaming on June 18, 2013.

Hot on the tails of the recent DVD release of Treasure Chest of Horrors II on dvd last week we are releasing a trailer for TREASURE CHEST OF HORRORS III which will be the last film in the series. From Executive Producer’s James Cullen Bressack ( Hate Crime ) and Jarret Cohen at Psykik Junky Pictures and directors Doug Waugh, Shawn C. Phillips, James J. Coker, Robert Biehn and Shane Ryan (Amateur Porn Star Killer ) comes this HORROR ANTHOLOGY starring Dennis Haskins (Saved By The Bell ) Shawn C. Phillips ( Haunted High ), Brendan Mitchell ( Treasure Chest Of Horrors II ), and JD Fairman ( My Pure Joy ). The film was recently picked up for Distribution by Wild Eye Releasing and should be out on DVD by the end of the year/ early next year.

Synopsis:

Struggling siblings discover their dead uncle’s secret stash of lost horror films on videotape. The “tapes” feature demented solicitors, gruesome dares, parental murder, demonic technology, monstrous grapefruit and more. The siblings eagerly watch each of the shocking, bizarre, comedic and bloody horror films, but little do they realize that something very ghoulish and gruesome is about to happen to them.

THE INVASION BEGINS ON MAY 28, 2013!

ANCHOR BAY ENTERTAINMENT and DIMENSION FILMS PRESENT A STORY OF EXTRAORDINARY FORCES DESCENDING FROM 

DARK SKIES

ON BLU-RAY^™ COMBO PACK AND DVD

BEVERLY HILLS, CA – This May, Anchor Bay Entertainment and Dimension Films will unleash the supernatural thriller DARK SKIES on Blu-ray™ and DVD. From the producer of Paranormal Activity, Insidious and Sinister, DARK SKIES is a chilling film about the existence of evil and the strength it takes to fight its insidious attack. Hitting retail on May 28th, DARK SKIES will include a feature commentary and will be available for an SRP of $39.99 for the Blu-ray™ Combo Pack and $29.98 for the DVD.

DARK SKIES stars Keri Russell (August Rush, “The Americans”) and Josh Hamilton (The Bourne Identity, J. Edgar) as a young couple with children living in the suburbs. As husband and wife, Daniel (Hamilton) and Lacy Barrett (Russell) witness an escalating series of disturbing events involving their family, their safe and peaceful home quickly unravels. When it becomes clear that the Barrett family is being targeted by an unimaginably terrifying and deadly force, Daniel and Lucy take matters in their own hands to solve the mystery of what is after their family. DARK SKIES co-stars Dakota Goyo (Rise of the Guardians), Kadan Rockett (The Fortune Theory) and J.K. Simmons (Spider-Man franchise, Juno) as paranormal expert Edwin Pollard. DARK SKIES was written and directed by Scott Stewart (Priest, Legion).

DARK SKIES explores the dynamics of family, psychology and humanity as a household unites against an enigmatic menace. Is there still time to overwhelm this ominous force, or has “the invasion already happened?” DreadCentral.com’s Heather Wixson called DARK SKIES “a terrifying, mind-bending thriller.” Avi Offer at NYC Movie Guru said “Sci-fi at its chilling best. A terrifying, suspenseful and jolting experience.”

DARK SKIES Blu-ray™ and DVD special features will include the feature commentary with Writer/Director Scott Stewart, Producer Jason Blum, Executive Producer Brian Kavanaugh-Jones and Editor Peter Gvozdas as well as alternate and deleted scenes from the film.

Fright Flix Productions and controversial cult filmmaker Nick Palumbo have begun pre-production on “MUSE,” a psychological horror film starring Samantha Mion in her film debut. Co-starring Patrick Scott Lewis (“Zodiac”), as an irascible thespian. MUSE is written, and directed by Palumbo and produced by Nick and David Palumbo along with cult filmmaker James Cullen Bressack (“Hate Crime”). Director of Photography is David Newbert (“Marfa Girl”). Principal photography begins on April 15 in Los Angeles, California. The announcement was made today by Fright Fix Productions’ President Nick Palumbo.

“I’m very excited to return to set with my follow up to ‘MURDER-SET-PIECES,’” said Palumbo. ‘MUSE’ is something very different from me. The subject is extremely relevant. The film is a character study of a sociopathic young woman, and how loneliness and isolation pushes her further into the abyss. I believe it’s a feeling many actors have experienced and will surely relate to. With our incredibly talented production team, we are confident we’ll give thriller/horror fans something to talk about as we offer an unflinching look at the dark side of the entertainment industry.”

“Nick is one of the very few American filmmakers that isn’t afraid to lay it all on the line and make a confrontational film,” said Bressack. “His dark and visceral style is unparalleled within the genre.”

MUSE is a brutally honest and chilling story of a young actress (Mion), descending into homicidal madness. Both shocking and controversial, the film is told from her point of view, as we follow her dark odyssey through modern day Los Angeles.

MUSE is written and directed by Nick Palumbo, produced by Nick and David Palumbo and James Cullen Bressack through their Fright Flix banner.

For more information please visit: http://www.musethemovie.com/
Please join our Facebook page at: https://www.facebook.com/musefilm

IMPULSE PICTURES PRESENTS
TWO NEW THRILLERS IN THE NIKKATSU EROTIC FILMS COLLECTION!
SHE CAT
and FEMALE TEACHER HUNTING
JAPANESE EROTIC DELIGHTS — WITH AN EDGE!

SHE CAT scratches and prowls!

Dr. “Cat” Kagami was hoping to leave her torrid past behind, but a failed assassination attempt has now put her square in the crosshairs of a team of brutal killers. Now no one is safe, including her lesbian co-worker and a mysterious woman with a terrible secret that could bring down an entire Japanese company. Cat must take the law into her own hands and enact her own special kind of revenge!

She Cat, directed by Shingo Yamashiro, is not only one of the more intricately plotted features in the Nikkatsu Erotic Films Collection, but it’s also one of the longest and sexiest entries. Expert direction, the amazingly “ample” assets of lead actress Ai Saotome, steamy lesbian shower-sex scenes and an action-packed gun fight finale make this film a must see for all Japanese erotic film fans!  On DVD May 7th!

In FEMALE TEACHER HUNTING, a moonlight skinny-dipping session between two carefree high schoolers leads to a young boy being accused of a violent assault on his female classmate. After throwing a teacher to the ground, he stomps out of the school gates and spends his summer break roaming a beachside town. Falling down a rabbit hole into a dark, oppressive world of sex and violence, he is taken in by a bar-owner and his libidinous mistress. Meanwhile, the teacher he assaulted hunkers down in a rented villa in the same coastal resort, awaiting a secret tryst with her married lover. What happens when student and teacher meet again?

A moody and dramatic from, with shocking scenes of sex and violence, FEMALE TEACHER HUNTING is deftly directed by one of the strongest of the final wave of Nikkatsu erotic film helmers, Junichi Suzuki.  On DVD May 7th!

Christian Filippella’s Silver Case
Coming to DVD and VOD this Spring

Philadelphia PA – Breaking Glass Pictures is proud to announce the nationwide release of Silver Case, starring Oscar nominee Eric Roberts, Claire Falconer, Brian Keith Gamble, Chris Facey, Seymour Cassel, Shalim Ortiz, Vincent DePaul and Brad Light.  The film premiered on broadcast VOD on April 15th, and will soon enjoy a May 21st DVD release.  Silver Case is the debut feature of award-winning Italian director Christian Filippella.

The world of Hollywood scheming reaches a nasty low when a powerful producer (Roberts) hatches a plan to undermine the future success of his shady archrival. His plot begins with the delivery of a silver briefcase, which soon goes missing, setting off a chain of events. The Senator engages his best team to locate the package but doesn’t count on the tenacity of two thugs who have the mysterious prize in their possession.

That’ll wrap up another edition of Weekly Bloodlines!  Till next time….

Way overdue, I know. So let’s get right to it!

Magnet Releasing has released the official poster for V/H/S/2, the highly anticipated sequel to last years found footage favorite.

Synopsis: Inside a darkened house looms a column of TVs littered with VHS tapes, a pagan shrine to forgotten analog gods. The screens crackle and pop endlessly with monochrome vistas of static—white noise permeating the brain and fogging concentration. But you must fight the urge to relax: this is no mere movie night. Those obsolete spools contain more than just magnetic tape. They are imprinted with the very soul of evil.

From the demented minds that brought you last year’s V/H/S comes V/H/S/2, an all-new anthology of dread, madness, and gore. This follow-up ventures even further down the demented path blazed by its predecessor, discovering new and terrifying territory in the genre. This is modern horror at its most inventive, shrewdly subverting our expectations about viral videos in ways that are just as satisfying as they are sadistic. The result is the rarest of all tapes—a second generation with no loss of quality.

Look for V/H/S/2 on iTunes and On Demand June 6th, and select theaters July 12th.

Image Entertainment has released a handful of new clips for the supernatural horror film The Wicked, out April 30th on DVD and digital download.

Image Entertainment suggests you sleep with one eye open as your worst nightmares come to life in THE WICKED. A group of curious teenagers decide to seek out their town’s local legend and go on the hunt for a child-eating witch, not realizing they could be her next meal! Directed by Peter Winther, the film stars Devon Werkheiser (Beneath the Darkness), Justin Deeley (90210), Nicole Forester (The Double), and Cassie Keller (A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas). The DVD release is set for April 30th. THE WICKED will also be available via digital download.

Local stories warn that deep in the woods, a witch with a ravenous hunger feeds on the flesh of the young. In an abandoned house in the woods, she hunts her victims…and if you try to enter, you’ll never see daylight again. When another child goes missing, a group of local teenagers decide to find out if the urban legend is true. What starts out as a meaningless dare turns into a blood-spattered fight for survival against a mistress of darkness in this unrelenting nightmare from which you may never wake up!

CAMP MOTION PICTURES CELEBRATES THE 25TH ANNIVERSARY OF VIDEO VIOLENCE WITH the
VIDEO VIOLENCE DIEHARD VIDEOVORE EDITION

April 8, 2013 New York, NY – Independent home entertainment company Camp Motion Pictures, in conjunction with Lunchmeat Magazine and director Gary Cohen, celebrate the 25th anniversary of the seminal DIY SOV horror film Video Violence by announcing the limited Collector’s Edition release of the Video Violence Diehard Videovore Edition.

Conceived by Josh Schafer, founder and editor of Lunchmeat Magazine, the project was initiated by Camp Motion Pictures’ owner Michael Raso in late 2012 when director Gary Cohen (Video Violence, Captives) informed Camp of his recent 90-minute re-edit of Video Violence and Video Violence 2. The DVD features a new interview with Gary Cohen, who reminisces about the original productions and the impetus for his re-edit. As Gary stated,

“I had mixed emotions after recently seeing Video Violence projected for the first time in a movie theater. On the one hand, the plot and basic concept held up better than I anticipated, but on the other hand, I found the editing to be rather sloppy and indulgent (although, in my defense, not too, too bad considering I had only 4 hours in which to edit the first film!). But it was a revelation to load both VV1 and VV2 into my Mac, open up Final Cut Pro, and revisit them after all these years. Once I started re-editing VV1, I realized that it would now be too short, but making one film out of the two SOV’s proved to be the answer! I’m quite pleased with the end result, and hope fans of the films will find this new experience to their liking!”

Josh Schafer elaborated on the upcoming VV release and VHS movement,

“I’m just absolutely thrilled to collaborate with Camp on the Video Violence project… Michael has been very open and receptive to my ideas and the whole process of putting the package together has been a truly exciting and fun experience… It’s extra special for me because Video Violence was the first SOV VHS tape I ever purchased, and it was a staple in my rotation from that day forward. It really captures the essence of all the things I fell in love with about collecting VHS… and to think I have a part in the production of a VHS re-issue is just amazing to me, kind of surreal… but that’s why I started LUNCHMEAT: to champion the VHS format and share it with the folks that really care about it… and that’s what I hope to do with this video re-animation… It’s an absolute must-see for every Videovore, and the best way to view it is via your VCR. And I’m really stoked on all the extras.. It’s just so much fun, and it brings the film to life in a whole new way. Toss in Gary’s new Vid Vio Redux Deluxe mash-up, and it really is the ultimate Video Violence package. This film is one of the absolute best of its kind, and I wanted it to get the Royal Analog Treatment… I really believe all the Videovores out there are going to be so stoked. I know I am!”

Limited to 250 units, the 25th anniversary Video Violence Diehard Videovore Edition features 2 red VHS tapes of the horror films Video Violence and Video Violence 2, a yellow “I’m a Lifer at the Video Studio” T-shirt, a club pin for the Video Studio, video studio membership card, and 11×17 poster and a DVD of “Video Violence Redux Deluxe”, the 90 minute 2013 re-edit of VV and VVII by director Gary Cohen. Whew! The contents will be encased in a black oversized double-clamshell case featuring original art and design by Earl Kess and Michael Parsons. Scheduled for a late summer release, the collector’s edition package will be available at select horror and VHS fan shows, the Alternative Cinema website, and leading independent retail outlets such as NYC’s Forbidden Planet.

Midnight Releasing is proud to announce their latest horror film, Hayride which will be available on DVD on May 7th!  Steven Summers returns home to southern Alabama from college with his girlfriend Amanda to attend his uncle’s annual Haunted Hayride.  Unaware that an escaped killer is on the loose, Steven will soon face the real life embodiment of PITCHFORK, a character his uncle created for the Hayride and Steven’s childhood tormentor.  Steven will soon realize that not all childhood fears are imagined when the legend of Pitchfork suddenly becomes dangerously real…

The Collective, a leading entertainment management and production company, and top horror website BloodyDisgusting.com, present the mind-tripping blood-soaked thriller ALYCE KILLS as part of their Bloody Disgusting Selects film series.

After accidentally knocking her best friend off a roof, Alyce is haunted by guilt and delves into a brutal nightmare wonderland of sex, drugs and violence, her mind tearing itself apart. . . along with anyone else who gets in her way. Director Jay Lee (ZOMBIE STRIPPERS) takes us down the rabbit hole and unleashes enough chaos and horror to satisfy any gore hound. Alyce Kills stars Tamara Feldman (HATCHET, “GOSSIP GIRL”), James Duval (DONNIE DARKO, DOOM GENERATION), Eddie Rouse (PANDORUM, UNDERTOW), Larry Cedar (THE CRAZIES), Yorgo Constantine (FAST FIVE), Megan Gallagher (“MILLENIUM”) Rena Owen (ONCE WE WERE WARRIORS), Tracey Walter (REPO MAN, BATMAN), Bret Roberts (MAY, NIGHTSTALKER) and Jade Dornfeld making her film debut as the titular character Alyce.

ALYCE KILLS will be released in select theaters on May 24, 2013. It will be available on Cable VOD in partnership with Tribeca Films and for digital streaming on May 21, 2013.

That will do it for today, but look for more Bloodlines soon!

I’m constantly ingesting popular culture. Constantly.  However, I’ve gotten the impression from a few recent conversations that the perception is that I only like older stuff or that I only like super low budget projects.  This is completely untrue.  In fact, I feel that I’m fairly balanced in that regard.  No, I’ve never watched Breaking Bad. It’s not because I don’t want to watch Breaking Bad (okay, it partially is. But only because people are always telling me I HAVE to watch it. Fuck that…you’re not the boss of me!), but rather because I watched The Wire beginning to end.  That was an emotionally arduous process.  I know that Breaking Bad will be the same way.  I need to evaluate whether I want to emotionally invest myself into that.

The point I’m trying to make is this:  It’s not a matter of liking something because it’s “different” or “underground”. If that were the case, I wouldn’t like the Scorpions nearly as much as I do.  It’s a matter of wanting to dig for those different things, wanting to know where it came from.  What are its roots?  That mentality keeps me on a quest to learn about new things no matter how meaningless they may seem.  It’s how I discover new music.  It’s how I come across some interesting filmmakers.  Henry Rollins once said that he only sleeps a few hours a night because the world is full of so much cool shit he has yet to discover that it wakes him from a deep sleep every morning, ready to attack the world.  I feel the same way.  Sometimes it’s enough to make your head want to explode!  Well, with all of this in mind I decided to talk about some stuff that I really love right now.  Things that get me really excited.  You’ll know some of it (or all of it) or maybe you’ll discover something you hadn’t heard of that you’ll love too, and maybe it will make you want to share something with us.  If it does, comment on this article about it.  We ALL love hearing about new films/filmmakers we have yet to discover, bands we haven’t heard, books we haven’t read, weird websites we haven’t bought stuff from.  That’s what this is all about!  That being said, here are a few of my favorite things…right now, anyway.

The Capture Bird DVD Release-Writer/Director Jovanka Vuckovic is a renaissance women.  She’s the former editor of Rue Morgue Magazine, an accomplished author, a filmmaker, AND a mother!  She’s no joke.  Her short film, The Captured Bird, isn’t necessarily new news.  It’s something we’ve covered on the site over the last couple years.  In those few years, it was shot and made its way around the globe.  Now, it’s on DVD! It’s a measly $10 and it’s worth every cent.  The Captured Bird is beautiful and hideous all at once.  There’s an innocence that only a child could embody (and did), but the nightmarish confides are beyond a child’s comprehension.  It’s quite surreal. This is due in part to cinematographer Karim Hussain’s ability to bring those visuals to life.  All in all, The Captured Bird was everything I’d hoped for and then some.  I can’t wait to see what Jovanka does next.

Troegs Brewing Company-I’m not picky about things. I will try any food put in front of me (as is evident in my body’s mass!).  But if there’s one thing I will not budge on with age, it’s shitty beer. I spent years playing in bars drinking watered down swill by the gallons.  No longer do I allow that to happen.  Over the past few years as craft brewing has evolved, I’ve tried to evolve with it.  I try as many different beers as possible.  It’s gotten to be a costly habit at times, but my wife and I are always in search of the next one that gets us going.  Consistently, Philadelphia’s Troegs Brewing has kicked my ass. Bocks, IPA’s, Belgian Dark Ales…these cats get it.  While I’m partial to a hefty stout or porter, Troegs’ holiday seasonal, Mad Elf, is the stuff dreams are made of. For the last few holidays, I stock my fridge full of this high octane Belgian Dark Ale and drink to forget!  It’s certainly not a beer you can drink all day due to its high alcohol content, but they have several other great brews that have yet to let me down. Check them out here.

Uncle Acid & The Deadbeats: Mind Control (Rise Above Records)-Three albums in and this band is not only evolving but including elements that expand what they’re about musically.  Uncle Acid is a psyche/doom/occult rock band who’s music and lyrics conjure up the Evil One, but in a distinctly trashy way.  If all the weird Satanic exploitation and Italian films were melded together in a rock & roll nightmare, Uncle Acid would be that nightmare.  On their newest release, Mind Control (available now from Rise Above Records), the band continue on in their dark, dark ways while adding layers of melody that make this band accessible to a larger audience.  Uncle Acid & The Deadbeats have not had a misstep and on Mind Control they’ve become one of my favorite bands currently at it.  I can’t help but think that readers of this website would love this bands as well.

Red Death Studios-Ah, t-shirt companies…they’re bazillions of them.  Never view this as a bad thing.  They’re independent businesses who all offer something distinct.  One company who’s product I’ve recently purchased that I’m quite impressed with is Red Death Studios.  Full color quality screen prints for decent prices. In addition to tees, they also carry hoodies and work shirts (a line I think they aim to expand).  I’ve already bought the Ilsa: She-Wolf of The SS and Nekromantik shirts from them and am currently awaiting the day they put their Texas Chainsaw Massacre hoodie on the web because I WILL order it the second it’s announced.  The artwork is beautifully transferred and isn’t heavy.  Take a look at their site , where you’ll find shirts for all tastes.

The Nerdist-Whether we’re discussing their podcast (hosted by Nerdist founder Chris Hardwick and comedians/writers Jonah Ray and Matt Mira), or the TV show on BBC America, or the YouTube Channel, they fact remains:  The Nerdist is an astonishing business model.  Chris Hardwick has become a bit of a Christ figure in my life.  Not in the literal sense, but in the sense that he’s figured out how to do the things he loves and does it on his own terms.  He’s created a platform that exposes great unheard comedians and spotlights EVERY single aspect of nerd culture…and I mean EVERY.  Comic books to Neil Degrasse Tyson, everything the Nerdist Industries model touches is gold right now.  They do what they love and that’s inspiring.

The Tao of Pete Holmes-So, if Chris Hardwick is a Christ figure in my life (my wife’s mocking words, not mine), Pete Holmes is my priest, my counselor.  Holmes as a stand up comedian is not only hilarious, he’s also quite open. This also carries over into his podcast, You Made It Weird. YMIW is therapy for me.  He’s not afraid to lie everything out on the table.  Often times, he is able to get his guests to reveal very personal parts of their soul by doing so himself.  His laugh is insane/infectious. It seems to be his genuine nature that allows others to let their guard down and just ENJOY having an open discussion with someone. If they feel themselves heading down a path they would rather not, he doesn’t force the issue and takes the discussion elsewhere.  Somehow, this causes a lot of guests to go back and tell that story anyway!   Though I do not adhere to any sort of new agey philosophies, Pete’s somewhat comic outlook on figuring life out is still tangible. He was raised Christian (like myself) and ended up abandoning that faith (like myself), yet he still finds himself looking back UPON that faith throughout each juncture in life…like myself. We’re the same age and we have a lot of the same insecurities, but he doesn’t stop himself from exploring those insecurities in a public forum. It’s a relentlessly positive outlook that has helped me to reevaluate how I approach my own health, both emotionally and physically.  If you’re into fascinating, hilarious conversation I urge you to check out his podcast You Made It Weird which is available for free on iTunes or check out his website for more information.

Bates Motel-I would guess a lot of you are checking this out as well.  It’s been an intriguing ride so far.  I’m not sure if it has legs or not, but these first few episodes are captivating.  The performances are great and the writing keeps the audience in suspense.  They have yet to dull the pace of the show and that’s a necessity nowadays.  My hope is that they’re able to add another chapter to the Norman Bates story.  With such a time honored property, one could only imagine how tricky that gets.  Still, this show is not only respectful of that history but also ready to challenge what we think of when we think of the Bates family.  It’s set in modern times but the show looks timeless.  If you haven’t checked it out yet, I would encourage you to do so.  Horror fans will get their fix.

President Wolfman-At the Spring show of the Cinema Wasteland convention, our crew attended the screening of President Wolfman, the second film from Mike Davis, the mind behind Pervert!, a film paying homage to the busty works of Russ Meyer.  It’s clear with that film alone that Davis has some bitchin’ comedic chops and a keen eye for the sleaze.  President Wolfman takes that concept to another realm, however!  A 100% “green” film that’s made entirely of films from public domain.  He took the time to edit together a hilarious horror comedy made of recycled footage, wrote a genius script, added a smartass political slant to it, and STILL made it entirely accessible! The voice acting is superb.  Imagine MST3K meets Kung Pow and you’re on the right path.  A bulk of the footage is taken from the 1973 shitburger Werewolf of Washington.  Melding that footage with drug & sex education footage and tossing in some other weird shit, culminates into one AMAZING offspring! As of the screening at Wasteland, Stag Films was working on distribution deals for President Wolfman.  Please visit their site where you can get updates on the various goings on as well as screening dates. If I were a betting man, I’d bet that the movie hits DVD this year.  Until then, the website will give screening dates.  This one comes highly recommended by The Blood Sprayer staff!

This…

For some reason, THIS…

And I think we ALL agree on THIS…

Alright, so I’ve sort of scratched the surface.  There were tons of other things I wanted to write about: Beards, baseball, Orphan Black on BBCA, God of War: Ascension, upcoming releases by Chris LaMartina, Drew Bolduc, James Bickert, Chris Seaver, Dustin Mills, Henrique Couto, the upcoming Naughty Dog Studios release The Last Of Us, Adventure Time, Jeremy Wade and his FASCINATING show River Monsters, the return of Mad Men, great twitter accounts, the art of dark pretzels, the odd success of the band Ghost, but I figured that’s just too much article.  You’d revolt on me if I went that far.  Instead, I leave us right here.  Horror isn’t the be all end all for me, but it certainly holds the lion’s share.  If you look at a lot of what I discussed it has a horror/exploitation slant to it.  Mainly, I’m trying to give you a sense of what I’ve been doing because it’s stuff that I really enjoy, but also because I’m hoping you’re going to leave some comments talking about some movies or music we haven’t heard yet. Hell, it can be your own!  It’s the constant search that keeps our blood pumping at this website.  We want to know what you guys love so we can cover it, too.  We’re just as hungry as you, hence the reason The Blood Sprayer exists in the first place.  Please share with us so we can better serve our readers.  In closing, I’ll leave you with something else I’m quite excited about…

On May 14th, Nuclear Blast Records will be releasing The Mouths of Madness by San Francisco doom rockers Orchid.  This is Orchid’s 2 full length (in addition to 2 7 inches as well).  Like the aforementioned Uncle Acid, Orchid combines those evil notions laid forth by sleaze movie gods and combines them with Black Sabbath’s filthy soul.  This band will capture your hearts, horror fans…enjoy.

A reviewer for The Hollywood Reporter referred to this movie as “a deranged John Waters remake of The Shawshank Redemption”.  Naturally, my curiosity is being provoked.  Based on the poster, it looked as if I were indulging another generic horror film where people were trapped in some fucking asylum.  Blech! Over it.  This was not the case with K-11.  At ALL.  It’s a strange exploitation film that is driven by an absurd cast of characters.

Raymond Saxx (played by Goran Visnjic) has just come to in jail.  After a weekend of drug and booze binging, he’s been slapped with a jail stint for a crime he has no recollection of.  Before Raymond can get his bearings, he finds himself headed to K-11, the LA County Jail’s unit for gay and transgendered inmates.  From here, Raymond needs to not only navigate the political structure of this jail wing, but also find out how he’s been accused of murder.  This proves to be quite difficult.  Between a very troubled young girl named Butterfly, a muscle bound pedophile rapist, a transgendered tyrant who runs K-11, and the warden (played by the under-appreciated D.B. Sweeney) who’s a drug-addled level of pervert that rivals the worst of his inmates it could be next to impossible.  All that and still trying to prove his innocence?  Shit’s gettin’ crazy in K-11…

There was no possible way for me to know how odd this movie was going to get based on the press I’d received.  I mean, I knew what the movie was about, but I couldn’t have known what I was in for. For that matter, I was not aware of writer/director Jules Stewart prior to this film.  Apparently, it’s common knowledge that she’s Kristen Stewart’s mom.  I wasn’t aware of this, mostly because I don’t like Kristen Stewart’s work. I have a tendency to avoid anything she’s involved in.  So, I’m already behind the 8 ball, I guess.  It’s safe to say that I was basically going into the movie blind.  At this point, I’m glad I did…because I loved it.  K-11 is ridiculous.  Just completely ridiculous. The characters are the worst society has to offer AND they’re the worst version OF those characters.  Vicious and overly aggressive, they exemplify stereotypes to a T.  A prime example is Mousey, who’s masterfully played by Kate Del Castillo.  Mousey is transgendered (pre-op).  She’s Countess Bathory.  She’s Cruella DeVille.  She’s fucking nuts.  Her dorm is a network of sex and drugs and it all lands on Mousey’s desk for approval.  If she doesn’t sign off, consider yourself done.  When she feels threatened, she lashes out via her “muscle”.  Raymond is a kink in her plan.  He doesn’t seem concerned with making her happy. He doesn’t know why he’s there to begin with.  As various scenarios play out, they realize they will need one another to get ahead.  This is the charm in K-11.  All of these fucked up people have enemies who they can do away with, so long as they figure out how to trust one another.

K-11 is without a giant budget, but it makes due with practical effects and minimal set pieces. Because the film is set in a county jail wing, you’re limited to the dorm and the surrounding rooms. In this particular case, it’s all you need. It was the perfect backdrop to the chaos.  The movie has a good look to it and it doesn’t get caught up in rapid image flashing or MTV editing.  Stewart wanted to develop these characters and wanted to tell a story.  She succeeded.

So, where does K-11 lie in the pantheon of genre films?  Why are we covering it on The Blood Sprayer?  That’s my favorite part about K-11!  As previously stated, the poster art for the movie is somewhat arbitrary.  It doesn’t lead you in one direction or another.  It goes without saying that is certainly doesn’t lead you in the direction the movie actually goes, either. I do agree with what the writer at The Hollywood Reporter who drew a John Waters parallel.  Lots of amplified sociopaths duking it out for the spotlight? Classic John Waters.  But, I also noticed a definite Abel Ferrara influence on who the characters were.  If you look at Raymond’s lifestyle and true nature, he’s a piece of shit. In fact, while we’re on the subject, every character in this movie is basically a piece of shit!! However, they find their means to be redeemable and that’s where they’re comparable to Ferrara’s work.  Not necessarily anti-heroes, but dirtbags who end up lovable.  All these components add up to being a big ol’ exploitation film.  It’s going to be touted as a drama, etc. and that’s partially true.  Hell, if you develop character you’re somewhat of a drama. But this movie plays out like an exploitation movie through and through.

One can never be sure, but I suspect this movie will take its hits critically.  It’s excessive and offensive on several levels.  Fortunately for me, that’s how I love the world to operate!  K-11 is trashy, filthy, violent, and funny.  Everyone’s a bad guy, but the worst guys get what they deserve in the end.  It may not have been the intent behind her script, but Jules Stewart made a sleazy flick that is a lot of fun to watch.  It’s full of weird dialogue that we can presume to be natural speak for those imprisoned in this dorm.  Plus, how often do we get to see Jay Mewes play the love interest of a transgendered jailhouse queen?  Okay, well that’s probably more likely than we think, so scratch that (I love you, Jason Mewes). Kidding aside, Jules Stewart made the LGBT community her muse and while tapping into some ridiculous stereotypes, still allowed them to be represented as badasses.  K-11 is a fun movie with a surprisingly strong character arc.  If you haven’t watched a prison flick in awhile, this one could restart that engine for you. It makes great use of veteran character actors (D.B. Sweeney, Jason Mewes, Tommy Lister as a few examples), while utilizing headliners in a far different capacity than they’re accustomed to. Mexican superstar Kate del Castillo literally steals this movie from the moment she enters frame.  While she was unknown to me previously, I will be keeping an eye out for her.  She played the transgendered prison house mama to perfection while maintaining solid range throughout her (intentionally) extreme performance.  That’s the case with a majority of the main players, too.  Everyone involved rose to the occasion of playing a lunatic.  As a result, this movie achieves what it set out to.  And if that wasn’t its intent, then it achieved something different all together!

I highly doubt that everyone will get as big of a kick out of this movie as I did.  Just in discussing it with a few folks they seemed turned off to the mere notion of it.  If I were to ask anything of you, it’s to give this movie a chance.  There’s something unique in K-11 that I can’t quite put my finger on, but it’s goddamn entertaining stuff.  If you took the final act of Desperate Living and crossbred it with OZ, you’re on the right track.  It’s full tilt exploitation in every sense of the word.  If you’re at all a fan of the same types of films we are at The Blood Sprayer, then I gotta believe you’ll enjoy K-11 the same way I did.

Reasoning only comes in tidbits. An explosion at a plant. Potentially airborne toxins that cause violent behavior a la 28 Days Later. “Zombies.” Will they survive the STATE OF EMERGENCY?

Image Entertainment brings us their latest post apocalyptic zombie fest in STATE OF EMERGENCY. The same zombie shit we’ve seen over and over again. While we can always make adjustments to the story at hand or the people involved, unless the writer throws in some kind of twist, it’s all pretty much the same. Strong male protagonist. He becomes the leader. Military is coming. That whole shebang. It’s entertaining, but only as much as you let it be.

As with any low budget straight to DVD release, the effects are mostly CG with some added makeup. They aren’t exciting, and I certainly don’t get a goreboner for them. And while the acting isn’t bad, the lack of excitement in the script just didn’t do much for me.

All in all, an indie film, whether it be Sci Fi, horror, comedy, whatever, has to do something to catch my attention. This film just didn’t have that. Maybe I’m jaded from the awesome horror flicks that have been sliding my way lately. But as a message to filmmakers: If you’re going to do “tried and true,” at least make it a little different.

STATE OF EMERGENCY is on sale NOW from Image Entertainment.

Hello again Brothers and Sisters of the Psychotronic Video World! The other day Fearless Leader Wes sent me a link to a screener copy of a new vampire film from filmmaker Alexandra “Xan” Cassavetes (daughter of the famed John Cassavetes) entitled KISS OF THE DAMNED.  Vampires are probably the second most overused monsters in cinema right now, just behind zombies, but I agreed to give it a watch and write up a review.

I’m damn glad I did, because this is probably one of the best vampire flicks I’ve seen since 1999′s SHADOW OF THE VAMPIRE.

The film follows beautiful vampiress Djuna (portrayed by singer/songwriter/actress/model Joséphine de La Baume) as she falls for the handsome and mortal Paolo (Milo Ventimiglia, whom I know best for playing Rocky Balboa’s son in the most recent ROCKY movie), a human screenwriter who is skeptical of the existence of vampires.  At first Djuna is reluctant, not wanting the complications of trying to foster romance, or even sexual intimacy for that matter, between a mortal and an immortal.  She and Paolo eventually give in to their passions, however, and quickly become lovers.  However, when Djuna’s sister Mimi (Roxane Mesquida, whom most people here will recognize for her turn as “Sheila” in 2010′s RUBBER) shows up unannounced, Djuna begins to realize that she even her worst fears regarding complications won’t begin to match what’s coming…

First up, let me just say that everything about this film is beautiful.  The cast is made up of beautiful people, with both de La Baume and Mesquida being fashion models as well as actresses, while Ventimiglia has been ranked as the Sexiest Vegetarian by PETA.  The film’s color palette is stunning, really rich in deep, melancholy blues that evoke sensations of loneliness, despair, and of long nights spent out and about for no other reason then that it’s there to be out in.  This blue is contrasted and intensified with hot, overwhelming ambers and vivid, fiery reds that just hammer into the viewer’s retinas.  Paolo at one point comments on how his vision has intensified since meeting Djuna, and the film allows the viewer to vicariously enjoy that intensified vision along with him.

When most people mention the concept of “vampire romance,” we all grab our torches and pitchforks, visions of Twilight dancing in our heads.  KISS OF THE DAMNED, while glamorizing the undead to an extent, does not fall into this trap.  The characters are sexual and passionate, with a real chemistry that doesn’t spiral into schmaltzy platitude-spouting lovey-dovey bullcrap.  And when Djuna sinks her teeth into Paolo’s neck, she leaves puncture wounds you could dip a finger into.  Jesus.

KISS OF THE DAMNED screened at SXSW festival, and has a street release date in the United States of May 23rd, 2013.  By all means, check it out.

I’ll be the first to admit:  I’m a sucker for a good ol’ fashioned documentary.  In particular, a documentary about counter culture figures always piques my interest.  They tend to be appealing because they serve one of two purposes: Either they give me a glimpse of someone who’s like me or they give me a glimpse of a lifestyle I’m not entirely familiar with.  In the case of Greg Sommer, the subject of the film Skull World, I got to bite into both.

Skull World follows the aforementioned Sommer in his day to day happenings.  Those day to day happenings happen to be a lot more bonkers than the average human being.  Greg is a dude in his 30′s, who works at a graveyard, loves heavy metal, lives with his folks, loves creating…oh, and he also has an alter ego named Skull Man who he portrays in the Canadian chapter of Box Wars.  Not familiar with Box Wars?  Nor was I.  It’s best described as LARPing taken to a far greater extreme.  They build entire costumes, weaponry, and even kingdoms out of cardboard…and battles ensue.  These are not just role played, either.  The Box Wars battles go all out, tearing opponents limb from limb (metaphorically speaking…cardboard being the metaphor) all in this spirit of a good time.  Amidst these battles, Skull Man reigns supreme.  In Greg Sommer’s world, Box Wars and Skull Man are a gateway to many, many possibilities.  He has a simple philosophy that involves rockin’ and battlin’ box-style.  Through this, he achieves a joy he wants to share with the world.

Skull World is flat-out fun!  That needs to be said first.  This movie is entertaining from the moment it begins.  Greg Sommer is not only this charismatic enigma, but he’s also surrounded by an amazing group of people who do not stifle his creativity.  So, when you have a guy like this who’s personality transcends conventional thinking, you need people who are willing to see what springs forth from it.  Director Justin McConnell was able to capture all these events AND took part in the Box War universe. I think Skull Man has that effect on the people who surround him.  I watched this movie with my son.  Throughout the entire film, we were smiling.  Then, we were oohing and ahhing over the elaborate costumes these people made from cardboard!  That same effect he had on the film crew, the BW community, his own community, he has on the audience member.  I have a feeling that that is the very reason he was chosen as the subject of entire film-his life is just that interesting!

McConnell spent 2 years documenting the Skull Man.  In those 2 years of filming, the audience is given the impression that Sommer’s affection for this world he’s a part of never once waivers.  It’s a rare mindset, that of the non-cynic.  I feel like this is what makes the movie so special.  Documentaries are meant to tell a story about someone else’s life.  The problem with that? The movie can become aware of itself.  When this occurs, the story being told loses its credibility because you’ve then left the reality of the situation and are now seeing a characture of what you were meant to see.  And this is what made Greg Sommer the magic ingredient in this recipe; he is the individual portrayed in this film, with or without a camera crew following him.  His happiness is derived from being exactly who he is.  It’s not a matter of him being aware-he doesn’t need to “turn it on” for the cameras.  He’s in love with life.

There’s plenty to be learned from Skull World.  It’s a staunch reminder that the world isn’t completely populated with cynical assholes.  There are people who love what they love without filter, without irony.  Those type of people make you reevaluate.  Greg Sommer is one of the good guys.  He focuses all his energy on spreading joy.  Granted the methods aren’t typical, but they make people smile.  Justin McConnell not only made a great film that can appeal to a wide array of film fans, but it’s also a reminder that individualism is something to be celebrated.  I want to make comparisons to American Movie or It Came From Kuchar, but Skull World has its own awesome story to tell that I feel like I’d be selling short in doing so. Just know this:  If you feel disaffected by simply loving the things you love, like you have to HIDE those things, watch this movie.  You’ll feel the pride in your weird ”thing” you were always meant to feel. It makes you proud to be in love with your obsession, whatever it may be.   Get your hands on this movie.  It will make your day better.

Drew Bolduc’s film, The Taint, is a favorite amongst a lot of current and former Blood Sprayer alum.  On the surface, it was a super sleazy gorefest with one of the greatest titles of the last decade, but further inspection will show you that there was a ton of meat on those bones.  The story carries an intense message that will surprise you, especially considering the title and box art.  When news hit that a teaser (of sorts) was available for his upcoming project entitled Science Team, we had to know the details.

The film is being described as “a bastard child of science-fiction and horror” and the plan is to begin shooting in the summer of this year.  In addition to this, here’s a brief synopsis of Science Team:

Chip returns home to find that his mother has been brutally murdered. A sessile space alien is now living in her house. Science Team must eliminate the extraterrestrial threat. Drama ensues. People die. Inner and extraterrestrial demons are engaged. Men in pink suits use cool-looking technology. Events culminate in a destructive orgy of violence of such an epic intensity that people’s minds are literally blown out of their heads.

Seriously…how bitchin’ is THAT?!!  If that’s not enough to convince you of the hot action headed your way, they’ve created a video to give you a taste of the oddities that await:

B0lduc and team are reaching out to their fans to help in the funding of Science Team via IndieGoGo.  Their IndieGoGo page features the above-listed video as well as a description of what perks you will receive for donating to the project.   If you are interested in donating to the production bill of Science Team, please follow them on Facebook, Twitter , and visit the IndieGoGo campaign here.

We choose to back projects like these because A) We can, but also B) because we BELIEVE in filmmakers such as Drew Bolduc and everyone involved in his project.  Take a look and if you can, PLEASE CONTINUE TO SUPPORT INDEPENDENT HORROR!!!

Editor’s Note: As of the time this posted, Science Team was on day 2 of its fundraising campaign.  Of their $15,000 goal, $1136 has been donated.

We are only a few days removed from our spectacular weekend at Cinema Wasteland just outside Cleveland, OH. The Bloodsprayer is lucky to live so close to such a fantastic convention that allows us to meet fan favorites from yesteryear, as well as get to know some of the area’s best up and coming filmmakers. One such filmmaker, Henrique Couto was able to share a few minutes with me as he prepares for his world premiere screening of Babysitter Massacre tomorrow night in Englewood, OH.  Check out the quick interview I held with Henrique, where he also talked about his next project which has my five year old daughter excited!

First off is the big premiere of Babysitter Massacre this Friday.  How did the filming process go?

 Babysitter Massacre was a whirlwind! We had such a fast production schedule, but we also had an incredibly talented and dedicated crew. The thing that made it all craziest was shooting around the holidays, we had actors that worked retail, so between tight schedules, holiday stress, and trying to avoid snow we were always dodging something.

Based on the trailer, it looks like it is a throwback to the glory years of the 80′s slasher.  Are there any specific movies that really inspired you?

The film is a little Slumber Party Massacre and a little Saw. My influences are hugely Slumber Party Massacre series as well as Sorority House Massacre II but I also dug into the depths of my brain that had been sculpted by a decade of Jim Wynorski and Fred Olen Ray VHS tapes. I tried to make something exciting, violent, and not self referential. A serious flick, in a way.

Can you update us on possibly when the viewing public outside of the Dayton, OH area will be able to see Babysitter?  Any further screenings, or distribution news you can share with us?

We are working hard to come up with another theater or two to show at, but nothing to report yet. The film will see a national DVD release toward the end of the year through Camp Motion Pictures and you should be able to get it just about anywhere.

Now, we’ll take a complete 180 and talk about your next project, A Bulldog for Christmas!  What made you want to make a Christmas movie?

I adore Christmas movies, last holiday season I took on the task of watch 25 Christmas Movies, one a day all of December, and there is just something about them. When they are done well they are sweet and overly sentimental and most of them turn out better than you think. I wasn’t just watching National Lampoons or Die Hard, I was watching ABC Family original movies and the like. I really enjoy depicting the season and the effect it has on people.

Are you expecting A Bulldog for Christmas to have any different challenges than you may typically face with a more horror-centric film?

I feel like the challenge will be to keep the audience excited and interested without having things that are easy to throw in like violence or sex. We will have to make the funny flow constantly, keep it light, keep it broad, but I think we will all end up having a huge amount of fun in the process.

You also have an indiegogo campaign running to help raise money to make A Bulldog for Christmas.  Is this your first time trying a crowd funding campaign?  How has it gone so far?

This is my first time crowd funding, I knew I would have to come up with a different way to finance this film than my other horror features, so far we have less than 600 dollars to go to get our goal, we are kicking but and I am so flattered people want to pay for me to make the film! I encourage more folks to head over there and preorder a copy, or even get a producer credit!

Finally, I know it’s still a ways off, but do you have any ideas what you may want to do after A Bulldog for Christmas?  Are there any other genres you’d like to take a stab at (pun intended)?

Though it isn’t 100% I have a few horror projects on the horizon as well as a feature length comedy similar to Depression: The Movie. I love to experiment and I am so fortunate to have support while I do it!

Thanks a lot for your time.  I know you have a busy week ahead of you, and best of luck with the big premiere.  I wish someone from the Bloodsprayer could attend, but we can’t wait to see how the final product turns out!

Check out information on the Babysitter Massacre premiere here!

Check out the indiegogo campaign for A Bulldog for Christmas here!

The job of a horror movie audience member is to suspend disbelief.  It’s imperative to enjoying the various monsters and maniacs that come forth.  Sometimes that suspension of disbelief asks you to REALLY stretch.  For example, sometimes we’re asked to believe that an ancient beast is woken from it’s slumber and is wreaking havoc on suburban Buffalo.  Also, that beast happens to be a shark…in Buffalo.  Strap in, kiddies-it’s time to discuss Snow Shark.

In 1999, a group of biologists had gone into the countryside in order to research several dead animals popping up near a small town.  They never made it back.  After several years, the story has resurfaced as a local man claims to have killed this beast that has come back for more.  The explanation is this: An earthquake gave way to the return of a monster who lives beneath the snow.  But this isn’t a Yeti or a ravenous bear…it’s a snow shark.  Now that the bodies are starting to pile up again, a vengeful group of townsfolk and a baffled crypto-zoologist are out to put an end to the beast once and for all.

Well, if the premise sounds preposterous, it’s because it is preposterous.  The notion of an ancient snow shark is truly absurd, but it’s that concept that keeps this story moving at a pretty good clip AND keeps the audience entertained.  And let’s be honest, folks: Is it anymore insane than the steady stream of films released by the SyFy Network?  Not at all!  In fact, I’d consider them brethren.  As are most films involving sharks, Snow Shark is derivative of JAWS, but it has its own special mark to leave.  I mean this as the highest of compliments when I say it: Snow Shark is essential B-movie schlock from the school of Roger Corman.  This is a silly, bloody movie.

Overall, it’s technical aesthetic is in order, short a few audio blowouts and scenes where the mixes were too low (also, being shot on a higher grade of DV would’ve lent to a cleaner look).  The combination of practical effects and digital is decent, in this case the upper hand going to the practical.  Still, utilizing digital effects to give the audience the full scope of the shark’s movement was a wise decision on the part of the filmmaker.  The set pieces were actually utilized very well.  Doubling a garage as a bar (or at least it looked that way), getting access to a town hall for a scene involving a town hall meeting all helped lend credence to the story’s effort of painting the snow shark as a small town under siege.

The films’ performances are typical.  Meaning, if you’ve seen a low budge horror film, then you know what kind of performances are usually captured.  Each performance is over the top bordering on ridiculous.  Some of the performances did stand out, one being the gentleman who played the mayor, Robert Bozek.  He handled his scenes with a solid amount of confidence.  He made the mayor a believably erratic fella and I suspect knew the ins and outs of what he wanted his character to portray.  Beyond that, there’s a few more performances that were decent but nothing that hasn’t been done before.

I ended up reviewing Snow Shark because our own J.D. Malinger made an appearance in it and felt too close to the project, which is generally how we handle things here at The Blood Sprayer whenever any of us is involved in a film.  I was fortunate in the sense that this movie is pretty damn entertaining.  It’s not a great movie.  I would be lying if I said it was.  But Snow Shark still delivers.  It has gore, it has nudity, IT HAS A FUCKIN’ SNOW SHARK!!! Who doesn’t want that?!  Line this guy up with Dino-croc, Megashark, Sharktopus, Mega Sharktopus, and Super-Duper Ultra Mega Sharktopus because this winter beast is a great bedfellow!

But without the twists.

It’s billed as Tarantino meets Ritchie. I’ll give it the Ritchie, but I’m not seeing the Tarantino.

A hitman decides to retire. His rival doesn’t want him to retire. Here’s where it gets tricky. His housecleaner is trying to sell his house while he’s away trying to buy a boat. Her idiot boyfriend is in on it too. Two con men try to swindle the original hitman. They know the idiot boyfriend. All of this swirls around until a final, twist filled ending. They got the Ritchie aspect right.

As far as a comedy goes, it’s pretty funny. This isn’t horror. It isn’t exploitation film. But it’s a good film, and I’m glad Breaking Glass Pictures sent it to us. It’s a fun, raunchy, violent good time. And I can’t say anything bad about it other than you can tell it’s independent.

You know when you watch a movie and you go “Oh how are they involved in this crazy mixup?” And then they tell you and you go “OH SNAP.” That’s pretty consistent through this flick. People get shot in the head a lot. There’s a lot of swearing. I like that.

It’s a three-for-all of Chemical Burn pictures! Since I’ve got three of them, they’re gonna be short and sweet. Or sour.

1. Sloppy the Psychotic.

Clown murderer. Looks like it was shot on Mom & Dad’s Handicam. Mediocre plot, shitty acting. Where it shines are in the effects and the brutality to which the titular character goes to commit his heinous crimes. File this under “A little more money and time.” We could have been looking at a film as good as John Wayne Gacy’s crimes were bad.

2. 9 Days: Whipped, Chained and Tortured by a Psychopath

Revenge flick. Well scripted. Well acted. Well done.  How far will she go to escape, and get her own revenge? The psychopath in the title really makes this film what it is. Coming across just as insane as righteous (in his own mind,) he channels the best of characters like Norman Bates. The torturee is pretty good too.

3. Bloodline

Easily the best of the three. Italian, subtitled. A woman returns to the place her family was murdered for a backstage on a porn film. The killer returns. We all love a little sleaze. Even though this film doesn’t get into that itself, the porn actors and director shine in portraying those personalities. Good effects, good acting, good everything. My favorite of the three.

Chemical Burn doesn’t always have the best films. In fact, sometimes they’re real shit. But when they’re on, they’re dead on.

My eyes itch, my skin feels unusually coarse-pored, my tongue is stained from repeat doses of Pepto Bismol and my liver actually aches.  As for my bowels, I’ll just say, “Satan’s Splash Mountain.” Yes, Brothers and Sisters of the Psychotronic Video World, I’ve just returned from yet another horror convention.  And if you recall my gushing praise of last October’s Cinema Wasteland, you can imagine what I’m going to have to say about three solid days of Wasteland action this time around…

Friday morning, my good friend and sometimes-co-writer over at Radiation-Scarred Reviews, Dan, arrived at my place and we loaded up my car with the junk food, alcohol and clothing we’d need for three days of debauchery, and hit the road just before noon.  After a brief stopover for lunch just before crossing the line into Pennsylvania.  A few short hours later, just before four o’clock, we pulled into the parking lot of the Holiday Inn, the neon green “Cinema Wasteland” banner welcoming us in.

Checking in and dropping our gear in the room (and filling our flasks with lifegiving booze), Dan and I descended into the maelstrom after grabbing dinner at the bar.  We caught a screening of Lucio Fulci’s THE NEW GLADIATORS (replacing the scheduled screening of ASSIGNMENT TERROR).  Meeting up with the Blood Sprayer’s own Matt, we cruised through the central vendor’s room, then caught a screening of MARIJUANA, a 1968 scare-film in which a very obviously stoned off his gourd Sonny Bono (in gold lamé pajamas, I might add) warns the viewer that if they smoke pot, they might get “bummed out” and become “a weed head.”  Thanks for the tip, Sonny.

Now, here’s where I really started drinking, and consequently, this is where my memories of the weekend start to get fuzzy.  So pardon me if I seem a little vague at times from here on out, I spent part of Friday and all of Saturday in a haze of varying degrees of inebriation.

Some Highlights:

• Reconnecting with friends I made at last year’s Wasteland.  Most specifically, a trio of scoundrels known as the Killer Shrew (the only man I know brave enough to walk around a horror convention in Tie-Dye), Brandis the Red Nurse and Die-Anne TaKillYa.  Just really great people, and seeing them again after six months away was a real treat.
• Introducing Dan to the magic that is Carl Kolchak via a screening of the second TV film, THE NIGHT STRANGLER.  I actually hadn’t seen this one myself prior to this.  It’s actually really surprising to me how much Kolchak was softened when he made the transition from TV movies to the TV show.  For the record, Dan loved THE NIGHT STRANGLER, as did I.
• PRESIDENT WOLFMAN, a new independent film, was screened and is amazing – though perhaps “new” is too strong a word, PRESIDENT WOLFMAN having been stitched together from bits and bobs of various public domain footage, most prominently the film WEREWOLF OF WASHINGTON starring Dean Stockwell, and surprisingly, MARIJUANA from 1968 starring Sonny Bono! This film is not for the kiddies or the faint of heart, featuring as it does footage of some sort of gruesome surgical operation removing a piece of a man’s gums, and footage of childbirth taking place in the back of a parked car, featuring the most impressive spray of amniotic fluid I’ve ever witnessed.
• Talking with Gary Kent, an actor, writer, director, producer, stuntman, and all-around guru of cinematic history.  Gary is so kind and so gracious and I really tremendously enjoyed talking with him about his work on films like SATAN’S SADISTS and his friendships with such other luminaries as John “Bud” Cardos and Ted V. Mikels.  I unfortunately was not able to attend the panel discussion he did – my own poor time management being to blame.  I hope to see Gary again at Wasteland in the future.  I will not allow myself to miss a panel with him again.  I wanted to buy a copy of his book while I was there, but he sold out in the first hour and a half of the vendor’s room being open!
• Completing my collection of autographs from the primary cast of SORORITY BABES IN THE SLIMEBALL BOWL-O-RAMA by meeting Brinke Stevens.  I’d gotten Michelle Bauer and Linnea Quigley’s autographs on the SORORITY BABES poster last October, and I found Brinke to be a funny, gracious, big-hearted woman who was a real pleasure to talk to.

Three things that were very big and very important to me this weekend:

1. This con represented, for me, the first true Blood Sprayer get-together.  Though I’ve been writing for the Blood Sprayer for three years now, the only other writers I’ve met from it have been Matt and Zach.  On Saturday, our Glorious Leader Wes, his family, Zach, Brittney-Jade Colangelo, Courtney Wyant and his family, all rolled into town and we had a big hug-fest.  Having everyone together in one place was a magical experience and one I will not soon forget – and which will hopefully occur again in October.  Like Wasteland, the Blood Sprayer’s staff is a family, and so this past Saturday was a double-family reunion, complete with all the drunken stupidity, meat by-products and fart-noises (real or faked) one would expect from such a gathering.
2. Meeting Jack Sholder, who is perhaps best known for directing NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET PART 2: FREDDY’S REVENGE, but who should be far better known for such gems as THE HIDDEN and most of all, ALONE IN THE DARK.  As I gushed enthusiastically to him about how much I loved the film, and asking questions that I’d had while viewing it, I handed him one of my business cards, which carries the address of my personal film review site, Radiation-Scarred Reviews.  I told him that I’d reviewed ALONE IN THE DARK and it had earned the highest marks that I will give a film.  He accepted my card with a smile and made out an autograph to me which read, “Bill – Thank you for keeping critical thinking alive.  Jack Sholder” An hour or so later, as I passed by his table again, he called out to me, and said, “Bill, I read your review of my film and you know what? You really got ALONE IN THE DARK.  I was impressed with your writing and with the research you’d done, especially in recognizing the influence of R.D. Laing, who Donald Pleasence’s character was based on.  Good work, Bill, I hope you’ll keep it up, and you should check out another film I did, 12:01.” This is without a doubt the single highest piece of praise I’ve ever received in regards my writing, and I was blushing like a Japanese schoolgirl taking her first tentacle as he spoke.  If nothing else had gone my way all weekend, this alone would have made it a great one.
3. Last October, I distinguished myself at 42nd Street Pete’s trivia challenge during Saturday’s Ghastlee Night At The Movies event.  This year, I rampaged through the trivia challenge like a bull in a china shop.  I got profoundly lucky – many of the questions Pete had come up with happened to have been answered in some of the episodes of his radio show I had been playing off my phone in the car on the drive to Wasteland, especially some of the ones about Spaghetti westerns and Quentin Tarantino.  At the end of it all, I’d gotten 20 questions correct, though Ken and Pete had been forced to deduct five points from my score for being a little too quick on the buzzer and not letting Pete finish asking the question before answering.  What can I say, I was a weird mix of confident and nervous, and that made me a little jumpy with hitting the buzzer.  I know my domination of the game raised some people’s ire, including one of the other contestants.  While I don’t apologize for my knowledge of trivial information, I do apologize if I came across as arrogant or condescending in any way during the show.  That being said, I’ve decided to stand down from any further competing in the trivia challenge – I’ve made my mark, and hereby retire gracefully to allow someone else’s star to shine in October.  According to Ken, I may have set a Wasteland record for the most questions answered correctly, and I’ll take that as a feather in my cap.  Maybe once someone tops 20 correct answers, I’ll come out of retirement to try and reclaim my title at the following show.

All in all, this was an amazing show, and I’m already counting down the days until the October shindig.

One last batch of bloodlines for ya before the Bloodsprayer crew enjoys a little R&R at Cinema Wasteland!

March 29, 2013. Eagle One Media is proud to announce it has acquired worldwide rights to the critically acclaimed horror feature film Scare Zone. Director Jon Binkowski’s debut feature film will be release this summer on DVD, VOD, and digital platforms within North America and rolled out globally in various territory markets.

Shot at Universal Studios’ Halloween Horror Nights set, Scare Zone features Neil Brown Jr. (The Walking Dead, Fast and Furious), Arian Ash (Phone Booth, Tigerland), Simon Needham (Health Inspector, Larry the Cable Guy), and Jordan Woods-Robinson (Magic City)

Synopsis:
Scare Zone is Oliver’s pride and joy. Sure, it’s just another strip-mall Halloween Horror House, but as always, he’s put his heart and soul into it for the last two years. This year the theme is “Scare Zone III: the Psyco-Splatter Raw-topsy Slaughter Dungeon” where he’s created an entire creepy Victorian maze featuring all of his best scenarios: the Living Amputation, the odiferous Toilet of Terror, the Vampire Bride (featuring Bat-Baby), and of course a final encounter with the chainsaw wielding Pumpkin Carver. The attraction is open for three nights only, and Oliver has brought back his old crew, including ex-con Spider, eager bride-to-be Summer, and the enigmatic Goth princess Claire. And bunch of newbies are also on board, including earnest young Darryl, who immediately finds himself bewitched by the creepy Claire. But this dysfunctional ‘scream team’ will need to work and keep it together while someone or some-thing is out to make their horror house attraction REAL.

A new clip (NSFW I might add) for the upcoming vampire movie Kiss of the Damned has been released.  Look for Kiss of the Damned on iTunes, On Demand PPV, and in select theaters May 3rd from Magnet Releasing!  Synopsis: Beautiful vampire Djuna (Josephine de La Baume) tries to resist the advances of the handsome, human screenwriter Paolo (Milo Ventimiglia), but eventually gives in to their passion. When her troublemaker sister Mimi (Roxane Mesquida) unexpectedly comes to visit, Djuna’s love story is threatened, and the whole vampire community becomes endangered…

A clip was also released this week from the Netflix original series Hemlock Grove.  From executive producer Eli Roth and based on Brian McGreevy’s novel of the same name, Hemlock Grove is a riveting one-hour murder mystery that revolves around the residents of a former Pennsylvania steel town. When 17-year-old Brooke Bluebell is brutally murdered, any of Hemlock’s peculiar inhabitants – or killer creatures – could be suspects. Through the investigation, the town’s seamier side is exposed, revealing nothing is what it seems. Beautiful, terrifying and graphic, Hemlock Grove is unlike anything else in its genre.  Look for the entire first season of Hemlock Grove exclusively on Netflix on April 19th!

SYNAPSE FILMS PRESENTS
STREET TRASH
Special MELTDOWN Edition!
All the vomit and toilet waste in glorious high-def Blu-ray!

From Writer and Producer Roy Frumkes!

In the sleazy, foreboding world of winos, derelicts and drifters in lower Manhattan, two young runaways—eighteen-year-old Fred (Mike Lackey) and his younger brother, Kevin (Mark Sferrazza)—live in a tire hut in the back of an auto wrecking yard. Life is hard, but the most lethal threat to the boys is the mysterious case of Tenafly Viper wine in Ed’s liquor store window. The stuff is forty years old… and it’s gone bad. REAL bad! Anyone who drinks it melts in seconds—and it’s only a dollar a bottle!

The subversive cult classic/horror comedy STREET TRASH rode the last wave of super-gore films in the late ’80s before cinema entered the era of safe R-rated horror and unoriginal remakes. Beautifully re-mastered in high-definition, STREET TRASH will melt your eyes and ears with stunning picture and sound. Open up a bottle, and drink!

Special Features:
• High-Definition Transfer from the Original Camera Negative
• 5.1 Surround Remix Created Specifically for Home Theatre Environments
• Two Audio Commentaries Featuring Producer Roy Frumkes and Director James Muro
• THE MELTDOWN MEMOIRS – Feature Length Documentary on the History and Making of STREET TRASH
• The Original STREET TRASH 16mm Short Film That Inspired the Movie
• The Original STREET TRASH Promotional Teaser
• Original Theatrical Trailer
• ALL-NEW BLU-RAY EXCLUSIVES: Jane Arakawa Video Interview and Deleted Scenes
• Create Your Own Bottle of “Tenafly Viper” Wine with the Enclosed Label Sticker!
Disc Info:
Director: James Muro
Starring: James Lorinz, Mike Lackey, Mark Sferrazza, Bill Chepil
Run Time: 102 minutes
Release Date: June 11, 2012
Language: English
Subtitles: English
Aspect Ratio: Widescreen 1080p 1.85:1
Format: Blu-ray
Region: All Region ABC
UPC: 654930315095
SRP: $19.95

Next up, we have another clip for the upcoming zombie film State of Emergency, out April 16th from Image Entertainment.

A bio-plant explosion will forever change the dynamic of a small country town. A man will be forced to kill those very people he once held dear. On April 16th, Image Entertainment challenges you to escape zombie-ridden Montgomery County with the release of STATE OF EMERGENCY. This harrowing tale of survival amongst the undead is directed by Turner Clay (Interception) and stars Jay Hayden (A Warrior’s Heart), Tori White (Silent Night) and Andy Stahl (The Blind Side).

After an explosion unleashes the contents of a military bio-weapons plant, the unsuspecting populace is transformed into a roaming army of flesh-eating zombies. Trapped in the quarantine zone, Jim finds himself cut off, confused and fighting for his own survival. Contacted by a small band of others unaffected by the toxins, Jim sets out to reach their besieged warehouse. Becoming the survival group’s de-facto leader, he struggles to keep order as they hunker down, fortify their stronghold and arm themselves against the attacking mutants. Fragmentary radio reports from outside hint at a last-ditch government rescue plan.

But can the survivors hold out until help arrives… or will they succumb to the living hell of an undead apocalypse? Will anybody survive?

INDEPENDENT ENTERTAINMENT INKS DISTRIBUTION DEAL FOR THE RIPPING

March 19, 2013 New York, NY – Media Marketing and Home Entertainment Label Independent Entertainment announced today the acquisition of feature film THE RIPPING for US and Canadian distribution on DVD and digital platforms.

THE RIPPING, a horror-thriller examining the nature of pure evil, is the second feature from director Wayne Capps under his Reserve Pictures production company, and the second to be released under one of the Alternative Cinema / Camp Motion Pictures Home Entertainment labels. The first, DOCUMENTING THE GREY MAN, released by Camp Motion Pictures on July 17, 2012, is listed as one of IMDB’s “Top 30 Found Footage Horror Movies” and available in all leading retail and etail outlets in North America.

“”I am extremely happy to partner with Camp Motion Pictures again to release The Ripping,” says Wayne Capps, President and Creative Director of Reserve Productions. “The film provides a unique look into the occult while also highlighting the fantastic locations available along the South Carolina coastline. We are proud of The Ripping and very excited that it will be available to the public soon.”

Filmed in the low country of South Carolina using mostly local cast and crew, THE RIPPING tells the story of the Thompson family as they move into their new home and meet their new neighbors, including Christian, a child with a dark history. Unsettling events escalate as the Thompson’s discover an ancient evil might be lurking, literally, next door.

THE RIPPING will be available on DVD and Digital platforms fall of 2013, a press kit with street date, technical specs, publicity photos, trailer and DVD art will be available shortly.

IMAGE ENTERTAINMENT PRESENTS
HOME SWEET HOME

Invading DVD and Digital Download June 4th

CHATSWORTH, CA – Home is where the horror is…Image Entertainment Inc. (a subsidiary of RLJ Entertainment) announces the June 4th release of Home Sweet Home on DVD and Digital Download. Directed by John K.D. Graham, Home Sweet Home thrilled audiences at its premiere at the 2012 Albuquerque Film Festival.

With a cast including Alexandra Boylan (Bellflower), Christopher Dempsey (The Rambler) and Raquel Cantu (The Box), Home Sweet Home is a chilling tale that adds life-saving urgency to the old saying “you can’t go home again!” SRP is $27.97 for the DVD, with pre-book on May 5th.

Gwen Stevens (Boylan) is at a crossroads in her life and needs a safe, quiet place to get her head together. But when she arrives at the house of her deceased parents in the remote New Mexico desert, she realizes that her peaceful refuge has become home to a pair of psychotic squatters with plans of their own. Now, miles from civilization and possible rescue, Gwen finds herself trapped, tormented and waging a desperate fight to escape the brutal intruders who have moved in…and who now want her life.

Who says you can’t have fun with ghosts?
IMAGE ENTERTAINMENT CRACKS UP
WITH THE HORROR PARODY
PARANORMAL MOVIE
Invading Your Home on DVD and Digital Download April 9th!

Chatsworth, CA –In the spirit of great parody films like Scary Movie, Not Another Teen Movie, and Dance Flick, Image Entertainment (a subsidiary of RLJ Entertainment) brings you Paranormal Movie on DVD and Digital Download April 9th. This movie takes you inside the twisted and outrageous mind of Kevin Farley (An American Carol) as he directs the celluloid potshots aimed squarely at the world-famous Paranormal Activity franchise. The film co-stars Carly Craig (The Three Stooges), Eric Roberts (The Dark Knight), Maria Menounos (Tropic Thunder), and William Katt (The Greatest American Hero). Paranormal Movie will be available on DVD for an SRP of $27.97. Pre-book is March 12th.

Life for Larry (Farley) has always been a little weird, but things get really strange when spooky disturbances start waking him up each night. To catch the poltergeists in action, Larry sets up dozens of video cameras and quickly discovers that his house is infested with freaky clowns, weed-smoking demons and uninvited celebrities! He tries everything he can think of to ward off the evil spirits, including calling in TV’s Demon Hunter, Jack Goff (John Farley), psychologist Dr. Luni (Menounos) and famous “psychic” Dr. Lipschitz (Roberts).

Paranormal Movie promises to deliver good ole-fashioned, side-splitting, paranormal fun. As outrageous as it is hilarious Paranormal Movie is the creepy new comedy that gives “found footage” movies exactly what they deserve!

In 2005, Stevan Mena’s debut feature film Malevolence was a surprise hit when it was released theatrically and on DVD. Written, co-produced and directed by Stevan, Malevolence told the shocking but enthralling story of masked serial killer Martin Bristol, whose story hit a nerve with horror fans and mainstream audiences all over the world. Intended as the second act of a sprawling trilogy, fans were rewarded in 2011 when Stevan explored the origins of Martin’s tragic creation with Bereavement starring Michael Biehn and Alexandra Daddario. Now, the final suspenseful chapter is about to be told with Malevolence 3…but we need your help.

Mena Films announces their campaign to start production of Malevolence 3. Once again, Stevan Mena is writing, directing and producing, along with longtime co-producer Tim Bristol and producer/actor Brian O’Halloran (Clerks). Fans can contribute funds towards commencing principal photography – even pre-ordering the Blu-ray™/DVD! In addition, fans who commit targeted minimum pledge amounts will be eligible for exclusive incentives including signed scripts, tickets to the premiere party, a Skype session with the cast and filmmakers – and a chance to appear in the film! To contribute, go to http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/malevolence -3/x/2886817.

In Malevolence 3, Martin Bristol returns to where it all began: the home where he was kidnapped from. But he is not the boy who disappeared over 10 years ago. Tortured and abused at the hands of his psychotic captor, Graham Sutter, Martin is damaged beyond repair. Lurking in the shadows of suburbia, he stalks and kills without remorse, picking his victims at random – or are they? Special Agent William Perkins follows Martin’s trail of terror, desperate to capture him before he kills again. Martin’s family, mourning his disappearance for over 10 years, is informed not only that he is alive, but that he is responsible for the wave of murder sweeping through their town. Will they be able to reunite with their long lost son before it’s too late, or will Perkins have to use excessive force to bring him down?

For more information about Malevolence 3, check out www.malevolence3.com

Hello again Brothers and Sisters of the Psychotronic Video World! Today’s article is something of a trip down memory lane for me. I was born in 1987, the year EVIL DEAD 2 hit theaters. My early childhood was marked by a plethora of toys, many of which could be seen as contributing to me becoming the monster kid I am today: Masters of the Universe (though I never had the “real” MOTU figures, all the toys I had were from the 1990 reboot set in outer space), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Dino-Riders…all had a monstrous element to them. But nothing, NOTHING sparked my love of monsters quite like a series of solid rubber, inch tall minifigures released by Matchbox in 1990. I speak, of course, of the Monster In My Pocket line.

These little guys were my favorite toys, bar none, as a child.  I was, as I am now, a wildly imaginative little brat, and I’d sit for hours inventing dramas, comedies and adventures centered around these little solid-colored ghouls (later series would add neon colors and painted highlights, and when the line was revived briefly in England in 2006 the figures were fully painted) in ways I never could with Batman, He-Man, or the Turtles.  The Monsters in my Pocket had shifting webs of allegiance, betrayal was more frequent then breakfast, and they’d fight epic battles for dominance against a backdrop of cardboard box castles and construction paper scenery.  In fact, one of the earliest memories I can dredge out of my subconscious is that on my first day of Kindergarten, I brought along a yellow Vampire to ensure I had at least one friend that day.  Hell, looking at the picture above I can still identify every monster, and even point out ones I never owned, including common ones like the Skeleton and rarer figures such as Baba Yaga and the Cockatrice.

Damn it, now I’m going to end up trawling eBay trying to rebuild my old collection.  So much for being a mature, fiscally-responsible adult.

Which leads me to the real meat of this article.  I was recently made aware of a new line of Monster In My Pocket-like figures, albeit almost twice as big and released in smaller series of five figures each.  The first two series are out already, and a third is gaining some extreme momentum on Kickstarter.  I speak, of course, of October Toys‘ Outlandish Mini Figure Guys, or OMFGs.  I ordered one set of each series on Tuesday morning, and they arrived at my door today.  These are fantastic figures, and definitely bring back fond memories of playing with the Monsters in my Pocket (that sounds so dirty now).  Even cooler, for those of us who love indie things, each figure is made from a design submitted to the October Toys forum and voted on by users, with the top five designs then being sculpted and put into production.  How cool is that?

Let’s take a look at OMFG Series 1 and 2, shall we? I’m going to do a figure-by-figure review, in part because I feel like each figure deserves individual inspection and in part because I just got a new camera and was playing around with it.

OMFG SERIES 1

CRAWDAD KID (Designed and Sculpted by Daniel Yu) – While the name “Crawdad Kid” suggests a cowboy theme, the character’s clothing definitely screams “Pirate!” to me, and this character would not have looked out of place among Davy Jones’ crew in Disney’s PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN franchise.  I especially like how he’s got the crab eyes on his shell “hat” (which also calls to mind ZEIRAM, my favorite Japanese special effects sci-fi extravaganza) and the half-crustacean, half-zombie humanoid face below that.  The sculpt is gorgeous, with little details like buttons, stitching on the sleeves and belt, and exoskeleton texture being crisply defined.  Definitely a figure you’ll want laying siege to your other figures’ coastal towns.

KING CASTOR (Designed and Sculpted by Dominic Campisi) – How often do you see an evil, animate building? This is definitely a unique design, and I like how top-heavy he is, with a big, cylindrical body and hulking arms balanced atop itty-bitty legs.  The detailing is again very, very nice, including such touches as a doorknob, a hot water tank on his back, and tiny mortars on his head and right wrist.  The stonework is deeply incised and crisp, though on my copy I found there was a little bit of mold grease left in the cracks – nothing a little warm water and a quick scrub couldn’t fix.

MULTISKULL (Designed and Sculpted by Charles Marsh) – Kind of an oddball design – I feel like I’ve seen a monster composed of a conglomeration of skulls before, but I can’t think of where.  I might be thinking of the eyeball-conglomeration monster from that one episode of Power Rangers.  He makes a nice companion piece to King Castor though, and I really like that the big skull making up his chest is definably a full skull and not just a face – the back of the cranium pokes out the back of the figure.  Of Series 1, he’s my least favorite of the five, but primarily because nothing about him particularly grabs me.

THE PHANTOM OUTHOUSE (Designed by Kyle Thye, Sculpted by Ralph Niese) – This figure, along with the Crawdad Kid, is my favorite of the set.  I mean, come on.  Everyone loves toilet humor, and what’s more simultaneously funny and horrifying as a fecal fiend rising out of a redneck’s squat-box? I like that all we really see of the monster are its arms and legs – who knows what’s lurking behind the door? A ghostly face with peanut eyes and corn kernel teeth? I like to think so.  The outhouse is nicely detailed with a lot of great wood-grain texture, while the arms and legs look appropriately deliquescent and foul.

STROLL (Designed by John “Spanky” Stokes, Sculpted by George Gaspar) – It’s a shaggy, big-headed cyclops beast.  I’m not sure if the name is supposed to be short for “Cyclops Troll” or just an indication of where he’d like to take you before he eats you.  Kind of an unexciting design and a sleepy, lifeless pose, but I don’t know – there’s just some sort of odd little charm to this guy.  The fur texture is nicely done, and he’s even got a belly-button, fingernails and toe nails defined.  I’m really not sure if those are supposed to be horns or ears – they’re conical like horns would be, but in the drawing on the blister card, they look more like ears.

OMFG SERIES 2

CRY-BORG (Designed and Sculpted by Andrew Scribner) – Babies can be pretty horrifying.  And everyone harbors a lurking, lingering fear of robot uprisings.  Combining the two is not only effective, but it’s a great sculpt – I’m not sure I can find anything I’d identify as a biological component, suggesting this is more robot that cyborg, but hey, the name works.  I like that he’s got a rocket for a rattle (all that’s missing is a radiation warning sign) and that they managed to pose him in such a way that not only does he resemble the jerky, wobbly gait of a toddler, but he also balances just fine and stands on his own without the need of a bulky stand.

CUDDLEHARD (Design and Sculpt by turboPISTOLA) – I don’t even know what’s going on here.  The warty mouth with crooked teeth and lolling tongue are identical to the logo of the OMFG line, and it’s had armored arms and legs attached.  I don’t even know what’s going on with the name.  He’s no weirder than anything you’d find in the Trash Bag Bunch or M.U.S.C.L.E. lines of minifigures though…He doesn’t do a lot for me, but I can see him growing on me in the future.

GRIMM GOURD (Concept by George Merreighn Jr., Design by Charles Marsh, Sculpt by Mike Fleming Jr) – You just can’t go wrong with an animate, evil pumpkin, and this is one of my favorite takes on that concept as of late.  I like that the squat legs and long arms have burst out of the sides of the pumpkin, I like his scowling, beetled brows, I love the cocky grin full of jagged teeth and he’s got a great vegetable fiber texture overall.  Great little figure to have around come Halloween.

PUKE KNIGHT (Design and Sculpt by Jared DeCosta) – This, for me, is the breakout awesome figure of Series 2.  I mean, come on, it’s a suit of armor vomiting up some sort of ectoplasmic ghoul.  Even better, it’s technically two figures – Puke and Knight are cast separately.  If you’re just displaying your OMFGs, each half can stand on its own and they can be stood together, with Puke’s tail end fitting neatly under the Knight’s visor, with neither figure leaning on the other for support.  For play, I’d recommend supergluing Puke in place. Or don’t! Maybe Puke is a separate spirit that can exit Knight and perform missions on his own.  Far be it from me to tell you how to play with your own toys, man.

SHIRTLE (Design by Kenjitron, Sculpt by George Gaspar) – It’s half-shark, half-turtle, and it’s wearing a shirt.  I dunno man, this is kind of the weakest figure of Series 2 for me.  The pose is sedate, there’s no real texture to it, and nothing about it excites me.

BONUS FIGURE! BABY DEADBEET (Design by Scott Tolleson, Sculpt by George Gaspar) – Much to my surprise, when I opened the package from October Games, I was very pleased to discover a bonus mini-figure, an advance scout from a companion line to the OMFGs to be called October Toys Mini Figures, or OTMFs.  Standing 1.5″ tall, Baby Deadbeet has some fantastic texture to his wrinkled, warty vegetable hide and leaves, as well as an adorable little facial expression that manages to balance cute and surly.

So that’s the two series of Outlandish Mini Figure Guys that are currently in production.  A third series is in pre-production, and currently $4,000 dollars away from reaching their goal on Kickstarter.  Anyone who pledges above the $25 level (as I have), not only gets the Series 3 figures, but also a bonus sci-fi zombie figure compatible with both the OMFGs and October Toy’s other line, the Z.O.M.B.I.Es line of undead.  Here’s what’s in the pipeline for series three:

There is nothing here I don’t like.  Tentacled trash-monster? Dog-faced wrestler? Evil juice box? Barbarian astronaut? Mushroom man? Everything’s awesome.  Series 3 is actually how I found out about the OMFG line of figures – a friend of mine, Jonathan Wojcik, designed “Doctor Decay,” the mushroom man figure.  I’m looking forward to building a substantial collection of these figures.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go trawl eBay for Monster in my Pocket and Trash Bag Bunch figures…

Zombie movies are a dime a dozen. Zombie’s seem to be the one sub-genre that no matter how over-saturated the market is, they continue to be made at a break-neck speed. While there are always classics that break the mold, for every great idea you have three that do nothing more than rehash old ideas. Which brings me to today’s movie, SICK, from Canadian director Ryan M. Andrews.  Will it fall into the old trap of nothing new, or will SICK have some meat on it’s bones?

The movie takes place two years into the zombie apocalypse.  We meet Dr. Leigh Rozetta, a young doctor who has been assigned by the government to try and find a cure.  She is currently living in a makeshift bunker with a number of soldiers who catch infected for her so that she can do her job.  Being that they are two years in, peoples moods are bleak as a cure appears to be no closer than it was when they began.  Soldiers tell Leigh that the area outside the bunker is beginning to clear out of infected, so she decides it’s finally time to venture out on her own to try and find her parents.  While outside, she stumbles upon a handful of survivors who are doing whatever they can to find medicine for their camp.  After surviving a zombie onslaught, Leigh and two of the survivors Seph and McKay decide to board themselves up inside Leigh’s parents home for the night.  However, trust issues cause the inside of the house to be just as deadly as the outside.  Can our group of survivors survive the night?

SICK is a well played character piece.  While it is definitely a zombie movie at it’s core, the ghouls take a back seat to the survivors which gives it a breath of fresh air.  It reminds me of Romero’s Dawn of the Dead where a small group of people are at the center of the problem, making the movie much more intimate.  Most zombie movies choose to go larger cast so that they can have more gory zombie kills (which I no doubt enjoy as well).  This dynamic makes SICK stand out from a standard independent zombie movie.   Toss in the phenomenal twist about an hour into the movie when things really begin to pick up, and SICK is a fun little flick.  As an added bonus, scream queen Debbie Rochon makes a guest appearance as another doctor working on a cure.  Who doesn’t love a little Debbie Rochon in their horror movies?

On the flip side, like I mentioned above, I love my gory zombie kills.  This is one of the few areas where SICK does disappoint a little, but since that was never the primary goal of the movie it is easy to give it a pass.  I am in no way saying there are no zombie kills, just not the onslaught that some movies bank their entire movie around.  Also, the movie does have the technical limits that come from the smaller budget limits of the genre so keep that in mind.  If you want a polished turd, I’m sure there’s one playing at a multiplex somewhere (if not just wait for World War Z).  This movie shows it’s heart on it’s sleeve.

SICK is a breath of fresh air in a genre that has been done to death.  Focusing more on the survivors rather than the zombie kills is a risk that may turn away some gore hounds, but the plot twist that takes the movie into a completely new direction is well worth your time.  To keep up on all SICK news, check out the official website, the official Facebook page, as well as right here on the Bloodsprayer.

When I glanced at the subject line in my email for my very first screener to review for The Blood Sprayer, thinks got a little…judgmental. I couldn’t help but immediately cull the idea of sitting through a Tromaesque splat fest with dick and fart jokes thrown in for good measure. In actuality, I was almost dreading the 1 hour and 22 minute viewing. I’ve never been one to jump aboard much of Troma’s library post 1989. Sure there were a few that stood above the rest (Def By Temptation, Terror Firmer, Citizen Toxie), yet for every 2 or 3 decent Troma films, a plethora of garbage lay in wait. Troma’s shortcomings aside, “Eddie: The Sleepwalking Cannibal”  (NOT affiliated with Troma by the way) is nothing short of brilliant.

Lars Olafssen (played by the always profound Thure Lindhardt) is a famous painter on the downward spiral from his once illustrious career. Once a world-class name in the art scene, Lars has never recovered from a traumatic accident that happened over a decade ago, causing his art and his validity to suffer tremendously. With his next painting endeavor in an unforeseen limbo, Lars’ art dealer, Ronny (Stephen McHattie of Pontypool fame) arranges for him to teach at an art school in a small, Canadian town named Koda Lake, in hopes of sparking that famous creativity. It is here that Lars meets Lesley (Georgina Reilly) who, although standoffish and unimpressed at first, can’t help but become starstruck and charmed by Lars’ presence. Lars is also introduced to Eddie (the impressive Dylan Scott Smith) who is an enigma at first glance. Eddie’s aunt (now deceased) was a very important contributor to the art school’s continuing existence and would continue to contribute (post death) if Eddie was properly taken care of. Lars, although somewhat reluctant at first, agrees to house Eddie. What Lars is unaware of is Eddie’s obscure sleepwalking disorder which transforms him from shy, introvert art student into ravenous. unstoppable flesh-eater.

“Eddie: The Sleepwalking Cannibal” (‘Eddie’) is one of those rare, iconoclastic horror films that intellectually blends competent black humor with strong, emotionally endearing characters in the vein of “Shaun of the Dead”. There are many laugh out loud moments that do not over-insert themselves amid the natural comedic progression and drama. The comedy is smart and used in very precise increments to pad out the film’s bleak overtones. It’s very easy to find oneself simultaneously laughing and covering widening grins in disgust. “Eddie” is a film rich in humor and emotional parody yet its true strengths lie in its ability to create polarizing views of both Eddie and Lars at very crucial moments of the film.

Eddie (Dylan Scott Smith)

Eddie is very likable and breadth for empathy; more akin to Frankenstein’s Monster. His true nature is affable, protective, and curious. It is because of his good-nature and dour, puppy dog eyes that the viewer is easy to invest emotionally into his character. It is very hard to “not like” Eddie as he clutches his cereal box to his chest in comfort, as it is when he is ripping someone’s head off and devouring their blood. To see Eddie smile melts the heart with joviality; to see Eddie devour human flesh ushers in sentiments of pity and sorrow. It helps to know that Eddie’s cannibalistic tendencies are very controllable (after a certain time) and are used in somewhat of a defense mechanism to trauma. A happy Eddie is a not-so-hungry Eddie.

When it comes to Lars, you cannot help but be charmed. Although somewhat defeated and looking for that creative spark, he still holds passion in his eyes. His humanitarianism isn’t lost within his steadily declining fame also. He yearns to become accepted at the school and as his relationship with Eddie solidifies (albeit in a very bloody way), his desire to create art coincides with his desire to help the school financially. Lars is yet another great example of a polarizing character that tends to inebriate the viewer with strong, empathetic emotions with traces of hope and renewal. His relationship with Eddie before, during, and after the cannibalistic endeavors is treated with kid gloves at points but comes to a header when Lars realizes that Eddie is very happy with him which, in turn, causes the cannibalism and creative juices from flowing. The method Lars uses to coax the cannibal back out of Eddie is very heart wrenching, yet the sympathy for Lars never falters.

Lars Olafssen (Thure Lindhardt)

“Eddie” is a film derived from the very essence of the artistic expression. Filmmakers, artists, musicians, and the like all can take a piece of this films quintessence and envelope themselves into a whirlwind of collective emotions. Boris Rodriguez is a very competent filmmaker who has a very strong eye for the beautiful and the mystic. He uses the camera to shrewdly hide some of the more extreme gore so as to not promote it in importance but to merely use it in collaboration with his protagonists struggle of morality. It is this struggle alone that links us and binds us to the fabric of the film…our own artistic voices are on display for us to dissect and (if applicable) absolve.

Catch “Eddie: The Sleepwalking Cannibal” in theaters and VOD on April 5th  from Doppelganger Releasing!

Happy Easter all you gore hounds and horror freaks out there!  Whether you’re worshiping the return of your Lord, or the return of the Easter bunny a happy day to you all. With that thought in mind I bring you a little extra Easter cheer today, a new Easter movie! Let’s take a look at Easter Casket, the 3rd release already this year from Dustin Mills.

Welcome to the start of Spring.  The weather is beginning to warm, baseball is no doubt right around the corner, and Easter is upon us.  However, this year Easter is different, as the Catholic Church has decided that this year they want to eliminate all mention of the Easter Bunny, peeps, and everything not pertaining to Christ’s resurrection.  This upsets Peter Cottontail (aka The Easter Bunny) who sets off on a bloody voyage to eliminate as many clergy and catholic schoolgirls as he can.  Insert Father Asher (a warrior priest) who is called upon by the Mega Pope to do his heavenly duty and save the Catholic church from potential annihilation.

What can I say about Easter Casket?  I was slightly hesitant going in.  Dustin has been working on overdrive this year and how many good ideas can one person have?  I’m happy to share that Easter Casket is not only a fantastic horror-comedy, but it is Dustin’s funniest movie to date.  The movie is full of hilarious dialog and creative (and festive) kills throughout.  Toss in a healthy dose of nudity, blood, and gore and you have the makings of a cult classic.

Special shout out time to the leads.  Erin R. Ryan (who had a bit part in Bath Salt Zombies) is a fantastic young actress that brings to mind a young Debbie Rochon.  She was able to successfully carry her character from innocent schoolgirl to seductress with ease, and also did a great job with her comedic timing.  It was an all around strong performance.  The same can be said for Josh Eal.  Josh is a regular in Dustin’s movies, and his overly dry voice tones flow perfectly for the role of Father Asher, the no nonsense warrior priest who still has time to crack a few one liners.  He was the perfect choice for the lead role, and it was nice that Dustin rewarded him with some spectacular screen time with the above mentioned Ms. Ryan.

Keep in mind that this is still a micro-budgeted horror flick and may not be everyone’s bag of tricks.  While I adore the guerrilla style movie format, I could see some people being turned off on the antagonist being a hand puppet, or wanting a more polished style of film.  But if you are like me, and can see a movie for it’s charms, Easter Casket is a hell of a good time!

You can order the movie at www.eastercasket.com.  Also, on www.indiehorror.tv Easter Casket will be screening tonight in the ultimate spot 10pm (immediately after the highly anticipated season finale of The Walking Dead) so do yourself a solid and check out Easter Casket!

It’s no surprise that we here at the Bloodsprayer are fans of Jim VanBebber, especially when it comes to his cult classic The Manson Family. For those of you that did not know, Severin Films is hard at work on a new HD transfer for the upcoming Blu-ray release on May 7th.  Also to commemorate the release, The Manson Family is once again out and about in select theaters all across the United States!  On top of the feature, you also get a first glimpse at the highly anticipated new short film Gator Green!  Check out the press release below, and do what you can to get out to one of these screenings!

Severin Films Releases Jim VanBebber’s THE MANSON FAMILY

Controversial Masterpiece Gets Blu-Ray Treatment; Theatrical Dates Commence Today + New Additions!

Special Edition Of Underground Epic Will Include HD Transfer, VanBebber’s New Gator Green Short & Other Exclusive Extras!

Features Music by Phil Anselmo, Superjoint Ritual, Download, More!

As previously announced, on May 7th, Severin Films will unleash the blu-ray debut of Jim VanBebber’s legendary, award-winning indie movie THE MANSON FAMILY on the tenth anniversary of its original release.

US theatrical dates, set to commence today at Landmark Theatres in San Francisco and Denver, are scheduled through March and April with additional screenings just added (see updated itinerary below). Additionally, new poster artwork has been created by artist Stephen Romano for the occasion. VanBebber’s highly anticipated new short film Gator Green will accompany many of the screenings and will also be included in the extras-packed Special Edition Blu-Ray release.

THE MANSON FAMILY delivers an uncompromising, brutal vision of the collapse of the “Love Generation.” On a ranch outside of Los Angeles, the hippie dream is perverting into something evil. What was once an oasis of free love and acid trips has become ground zero for a madman’s paranoid visions. An average group of kids, the “Family”, become engulfed in a delusional world where torment and slaughter is considered the path to righteousness. THE MANSON FAMILY is a dizzying, rapid-fire vision of the sex and violence that unifies the misguided group, and at the direction of their leader, ends in a brutal spree leaving seven people dead in 48 hours. Now remastered in stunning HD for the first time ever in America. Extras include an all new director’s commentary, the brand new short Gator Green, the uncut version of the previously censored, feature length documentary The Vanbebber Family on the film’s near-mythic production, and much more.

The movie features music by Phil Anselmo, Superjoint Ritual, Necrophagia, Download, and Southern Isolation. VanBebber has directed music videos for Pantera, Down, Skinny Puppy, Necrophagia, and others.

Severin Films was formed in 2006 with offices in Los Angeles and London. The company produced the acclaimed 2012 horror anthology The Theatre Bizarre and their previous releases include Richard Stanley’s restored Hardware, the all-star war classic The Wild Geese, the unrated Director’s Cut of Just Jaeckin’s Gwendoline, Enzo Castellari’s original action classic Inglorious Bastards, Oscar®-nominee Patrice Leconte’s The Hairdresser’s Husband, the midnight movie sensation Birdemic – Shock & Terror, Eugenio Martin’s restored Horror Express, and Alejandro Jodorowsky’s incomparable masterpiece Santa Sangre.

THE MANSON FAMILY 2013 Theatrical Screenings:
3/22/2013 Landmark’s Clay Theatre – San Francisco, CA
3/22/2013 Landmark’s Esquire Theatre – Denver, CO
3/23/2013 Landmark’s Clay Theatre – San Francisco, CA
3/23/2013 Landmark’s Esquire Theatre – Denver, CO
3/27/2013 Boston Underground Film Festival – Brattle Theatre – Cambridge MA
3/29/2013 Landmark’s Sunshine Cinema – New York, NY
3/29/2013 Alamo Drafthouse Vintage Park – Houston, TX
3/29/2013 Plaza Theatre – Atlanta, GA
3/30/2013 Landmark’s Sunshine Cinema – New York, NY
3/30/2013 Alamo Drafthouse Vintage Park – Houston, TX
4/03/2013 Granoff Center for the Arts – Providence, RI
4/05/2013 Landmark’s Ritz Bourse – Philadelphia, PA
4/05/2013 Landmark’s Egyptian Theatre – Seattle, WA
4/06/2013 Landmark’s Egyptian Theatre – Seattle, WA
4/12/2013 Logan Theatre – Chicago, IL
4/12/2013 Hi-Pointe Theatre – St. Louis, MO
4/13/2013 Hi-Pointe Theatre – St. Louis, MO
4/13/2013 Cedar Lee Theatre – Cleveland, OH
4/19/2013 Landmark’s E Street Theatre – Washington, DC
4/19/2013 Landmark’s Inwood Theatre – Dallas, TX
4/19/2013 Landmark’s Uptown Theatre – Minneapolis, MN
4/19/2013 The Loft Cinema – Tucson, AZ*
4/20/2013 Landmark’s E Street Theatre – Washington, DC
4/20/2013 Landmark’s Inwood Theatre – Dallas, TX
4/20/2013 Landmark’s Uptown Theatre – Minneapolis, MN
4/20/2013 The Loft Cinema – Tucson, AZ*
4/21/2013 Screenland Crossroads – Kansas City, MO
4/21/2013 The Loft Cinema – Tucson, AZ*
4/22/2013 The Loft Cinema – Tucson, AZ*
4/23/2013 New Beverly Cinema – Los Angeles, CA
4/23/2013 The Loft Cinema – Tucson, AZ*
4/24/2013 The Loft Cinema – Tucson, AZ*
4/25/2013 The Loft Cinema – Tucson, AZ*
4/26/2013 Tampa Pitcher Show – Tampa, FL
4/26/2013 The Loft Cinema – Tucson, AZ*
4/27/2013 Clinton St. Theater – Portland, OR
4/28/2013 Clinton St. Theater – Portland, OR
October – Housecore Horror Film Festival – Austin, TX

Another week, and more bloodlines.

MENA FILMS UNVEILS
KICKSTARTER CAMPAIGN TO FUND
MALEVOLENCE 3

Fans and Filmmakers Embrace New Business Model
for Film Production Funding

NEW YORK – In 2005, Stevan Mena’s debut feature film Malevolence was a surprise hit when it was released theatrically and on DVD. Written, co-produced and directed by Stevan, Malevolence told the shocking but enthralling story of masked serial killer Martin Bristol, whose story hit a nerve with horror fans and mainstream audiences all over the world. Intended as the second act of a sprawling trilogy, fans were rewarded in 2011 when Stevan explored the origins of Martin’s tragic creation with Bereavement starring Michael Biehn and Alexandra Daddario. Now, the final suspenseful chapter is about to be told…but we need your help.

Mena Films announced today the launch of their Kickstarter page to start production of Malevolence 3. Once again, Stevan Mena is writing, directing and producing, along with longtime co-producer Tim Bristol and producer/actor Brian O’Halloran (Clerks). Through Kickstarter, fans can contribute funds towards commencing principal photography – even pre-ordering the Blu-ray™/DVD! In addition, fans who commit targeted minimum pledge amounts will be eligible for exclusive incentives including signed scripts, tickets to the premiere party, a Skype session with the cast and filmmakers – and a chance to appear in the film! The Malevolence 3 Kickstarter page can be found at: http://www.kickstarter.com/malevolence-3.

“The movie business is changing. More and more control is being taken back by the filmmakers,” observed O’Halloran. “Kickstarter is the perfect bridge between letting the fans decide what they want to see and putting the creative control back where it belongs.”

“For the last couple of years, fans have kept asking when we will be able to complete the Martin Bristol trilogy,” said Mena. “Through Kickstarter, fans will not only be able to help realize the final episode of Martin’s story, but also pre-order the DVD, along with a menu of bonus perks for those who make significant pledges. It’s the ultimate in customized entertainment!”

In Malevolence 3, Martin Bristol returns to where it all began: the home where he was kidnapped from. But he is not the boy who disappeared over 10 years ago. Tortured and abused at the hands of his psychotic captor, Graham Sutter, Martin is damaged beyond repair. Lurking in the shadows of suburbia, he stalks and kills without remorse, picking his victims at random – or are they? Special Agent William Perkins follows Martin’s trail of terror, desperate to capture him before he kills again. Martin’s family, mourning his disappearance for over 10 years, is informed not only that he is alive, but that he is responsible for the wave of murder sweeping through their town. Will they be able to reunite with their long lost son before it’s too late, or will Perkins have to use excessive force to bring him down?

For more information about Malevolence 3, check out http://www.kickstarter.com/malevolence-3.

A bio-plant explosion will forever change the dynamic of a small country town. A man will be forced to kill those very people he once held dear. On April 16th, Image Entertainment challenges you to escape zombie-ridden Montgomery County with the release of STATE OF EMERGENCY. This harrowing tale of survival amongst the undead is directed by Turner Clay (Interception) and stars Jay Hayden (A Warrior’s Heart), Tori White (Silent Night) and Andy Stahl (The Blind Side).

After an explosion unleashes the contents of a military bio-weapons plant, the unsuspecting populace is transformed into a roaming army of flesh-eating zombies. Trapped in the quarantine zone, Jim finds himself cut off, confused and fighting for his own survival. Contacted by a small band of others unaffected by the toxins, Jim sets out to reach their besieged warehouse. Becoming the survival group’s de-facto leader, he struggles to keep order as they hunker down, fortify their stronghold and arm themselves against the attacking mutants. Fragmentary radio reports from outside hint at a last-ditch government rescue plan.

But can the survivors hold out until help arrives… or will they succumb to the living hell of an undead apocalypse? Will anybody survive?

Special features include two behind-the-scenes featurettes on the making of the movie and its visual effects, and deleted scenes.

Check out the above official trailer, as well as three new clips from State of Emergency!

Bloody Disgusting Selects has dropped a new slasher flick, Blood Runs Cold available now on VOD.  Check out the above trailer and a new clip on the sick looking film.  In the dead of winter, Winona, a successful musician looking to relax and find creative inspiration, returns to her hometown to stay in a cabin rented by her manager. When she arrives, she coincidentally runs into her old boyfriend and some friends. Continuing their reunion at the cabin, the houseguests quickly discover that they are not alone; something horrific lurks underneath the floorboards. BLOOD RUNS COLD is a frostbitten slasher that turns the snow red with gore.

Millennium Entertainment proudly announces the DVD and Blu-ray release of CRUSH for April 9, 2013. The teen-thriller stars Lucas Till, Crystal Reed, Sarah Bolger, Reid Ewing, Leigh Whannell and Caitriona Balfe and will be available DVD at an SRP of $28.98 and Blu-ray at an SRP of $29.98.

High school heartthrob Scott has it all; good looks, popularity… and a secret admirer. But what starts out as a seemingly innocent crush soon turns deadly. Who’s responsible? Scott’s long time friend Jules, frustrated with their platonic relationship? Bess, a shy classmate, increasingly jealous of his friendship with Jules? Or Jeffrey, a bright outcast whose crush on Bess has lead him to become increasingly obsessive? One thing’s certain, time’s running out and Scott must uncover the psychotic stalker before it’s too late.

JULES STEWART’S JAIL DRAMA K-11
COMING TO BLU-RAY AND DVD
APRIL 23, 2013

Breaking Glass Pictures and Libertine Films are proud to announce the upcoming Blu-Ray (SRP $29.99) and DVD (SRP $24.99) release of Jules Stewart’s directorial debut, K-11, a riveting drama that tells the story of a man’s plight after winding up in K-11, the Los Angeles County Jail’s transgender inmate unit.  K-11 is currently screening at select theaters in fifteen cities around the country and is available nationwide on Video On Demand.

K-11 stars Goran Visnjic (ABC-TV’s new hit series “Red Widow”, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, “ER”) as Raymond Saxx, a businessman whose drug use leads him to incarceration in the section of the Los Angeles County Jail reserved for LGBT inmates and firmly under the heel of Mousey (Mexican superstar Kate Del Castillo, Under the Same Moon, “La Reina del Sur”, “Weeds”), a malicious transgendered inmate.  Saxx has no idea how he got there — all he knows is he needs to get the hell out…alive and intact. Aggressive cellmates, corrupt officials and his own issues are just a few challenges he faces with while he pieces together a way out of this entirely new kind of rabbit hole.

Jules Stewart, mother to Twilight star Kristen, is a lauded script supervisor with over thirty years of experience in Hollywood. In 2010, Stewart formed Libertine Films with her business partner, producer Tom Wright. K-11 is their first feature. Stewart’s next project will be The Locked House, a thriller scheduled for release in 2014.

K-11 also stars DB Sweeney (Taken 2), Jason Mewes (Jay & Silent Bob, Clerks), Portia Doubleday (Kimberly Peirce’s Carrie, Youth in Revolt, Almost Kings) and Tommy “Tiny” Lister (The Fifth Element, Jackie Brown). Son Cameron Stewart makes his film debut in K-11 as Sledgehammer, while daughter Kristen Stewart (Twilight, On the Road) makes a special contribution.

The Blu-Ray and DVD will come complete with a commentary by Jules Stewart and Tom Wright, deleted scenes, interviews with key cast and crew, a behind-the-scenes featurette, the “My Liberty” music video by cast member Billy Morrison, and a photo gallery.

Image Entertainment suggests you sleep with one eye open as your worst nightmares come to life in THE WICKED. A group of curious teenagers decide to seek out their town’s local legend and go on the hunt for a child-eating witch, not realizing they could be her next meal! Directed by Peter Winther, the film stars Devon Werkheiser (Beneath the Darkness), Justin Deeley (90210), Nicole Forester (The Double), and Cassie Keller (A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas). The DVD release is set for April 30th. THE WICKED will also be available via digital download.

Local stories warn that deep in the woods, a witch with a ravenous hunger feeds on the flesh of the young. In an abandoned house in the woods, she hunts her victims…and if you try to enter, you’ll never see daylight again. When another child goes missing, a group of local teenagers decide to find out if the urban legend is true. What starts out as a meaningless dare turns into a blood-spattered fight for survival against a mistress of darkness in this unrelenting nightmare from which you may never wake up!

The DVD will also feature “No Soul is Safe: The Making of THE WICKED.

IMAGE ENTERTAINMENT PRESENTS
PRANK

Bowing on DVD and Digital Video June 18th

For anyone who has been victimized by bullying, thoughts of justice can easily be twisted into an obsession for comeuppance. But when does justice turn to revenge? Can “measure for measure” become a mind-bending thirst for retribution, blurring the lines between perpetrator and victim? Image Entertainment Inc., a subsidiary of RLJ Entertainment, examines those questions and many more with the June 18th release of the deadly thriller Prank on DVD and Digital Download. Directed by Yiuwing Lam (Rupture) and featuring a cast including Nick Renaud (Mine) and Henry Monfries (“Squaresville”), Prank may be a film today, but can easily become the headline of tomorrow! SRP is $27.97 for the DVD, with pre-book on May 21st

Harmless prank or violent revenge? Three high school students, sick of living in fear of bullies, plan the ultimate payback. But when their prank goes way too far, they come to realize that getting even can have deadly consequences. Packed with unpredictable twists and turns, this cutting-edge thriller pulls no punches and delivers a shocking conclusion you’ll never forget. Just remember…no matter how sweet revenge might taste, there’s always a price to pay.

MAGNET RELEASING WIPES THE COMPETITION CLEAN AND PICKS UP JACOB VAUGHAN’S COMEDY/HORROR “MILO” STARRING KEN MARINO & GILLIAN JACOBS

“MILO” TO BE UNLEASHED ON NORTH AMERICAN AUDIENCES LATER THIS YEAR

Magnet Releasing has acquired North American distribution rights to the acclaimed comedy/horror film MILO. Written and directed by Jacob Vaughan and starring Ken Marino & Gillian Jacobs, MILO premiered last weekend at the 2013 SXSW Film Festival. Blending the gory elements of a classic critter film (à la GREMLINS) with the lighthearted comedy of an unlikely friendship (reminiscent of TED), MILO was one of the most talked about and unique films of the festival.

The sale for MILO was completed late Friday night, making it the last deal to close during this year’s SXSW.

Duncan’s (Ken Marino) life is a real pain in the ass. Tormented by manipulative, crooked boss (Patrick Warburton), a nagging mother (Mary Kay Place), a deadbeat new age dad (Stephen Root), and a sweet, yet pressuring, wife (Gillian Jacobs), his mounting stress starts to trigger an insufferable gastrointestinal reaction. Out of ideas and at the end of his rope, Duncan seeks the help of a hypnotherapist (Peter Stormare), who helps him discover the root of his unusual stomach pain: a pintsized demon living in his intestine that, triggered by excessive anxiety, forces its way out and slaughters the people who haveangered him. Out of fear that his intestinal gremlin may target its wrath on the wrong person, Duncan attempts to befriend it, naming it Milo and indulging it to keep its seemingly insatiable appetite at bay.

MILO features notable puppetry by Frank Langley and Bob Mano.

MILO was produced by Adele Romanski with New Artists Alliance’s Gabriel Cowan and John Suits. Executive producers include Mark & Jay Duplass, John Norris, Kerry Johnson, Dallas Sonnier, Jack Heller and Floren Shieh Productions’ Clay Floren and Aimee Shieh.

“Just like Ken Marino, our stomachs were hurting watching MILO, happily because of laughter rather than an intestinal demon,” said Magnolia President Eamonn Bowles. “MILO is a rare entry in the horror-comedy genre that truly delivers.”

Jacob Vaughan said, “Magnet is the perfect home for MILO. The company is second-to-none in releasing quality genre movies and their passion for MILO is overwhelming. I’m confident they will do an incredible job positioning the film in the marketplace and getting it seen by audiences everywhere.”

The deal for MILO was negotiated by Magnolia/Magnet SVP of Acquisitions Dori Begley and Director of Acquisitions Peter van Steemburg, with ICM Partners on behalf of the filmmakers and producers.

Last but certainly not least is a trailer for an Italian Anthology movie The Pyramid.  Check out the synopsis below.

The Pyramid, an anthological horror flick divided into four different stories, all of which are connected by one object; a bizarre little pyramid. Over the centuries the pyramid has been the catalyst for wide-spread death and destruction and, after being lost for years, it has accidentally been reawakened to once again bring forth madness and mayhem.

There are four segments : Ritual ( directed by Alex Visani), Dream Door (by Luca Alessandro), Pestilence (by the duo Albanesi/Chiesa) and Apocalypse (by Antonio Zannone). The first episode Ritual which is the opening of the entire movie. An unfortunate guy found the pyramid (we see, during a short intro the story of its creation by demons) and slowly becomes possessed by the infernal object. It’s a story of possession and struggle with evil forces with gore and also ironic moments. Raffaele Ottolenghi (who writes the episode with Alex Visani) and I were inspired by Clive Barker’s Books of Blood, Evil Dead 2 and there are some influences from Tales From The Crypt the serial.
After the conclusion of Ritual there’s a girl who came in to the possession of the pyramid and this is the beginning of Dream Door, the second story. In this case the influence was Notte Profonda (Deep Night) directed by Fabio Salerno, Wes Craven’s Nightmare On Elm Street and a bit of Hellraiser, of course. During the episode we will see the difficult relationship between a young girl and his boyfriend, who’s a comic artist, and the terrible effects of the pyramid on them. This is the most introspective segmet with a strange and allucinative dreaming atmosphere.

Then is the turn of Pestilence in which we’ll see the contagious effects of the pyramid, which now has gained great powers. It will spread an horrible sort of pestilence, in the vein of the masterpiece Prince of Darkness from the master John Carpenter. This is the most aggressive and full-packed action episode.

Then there’s Apocalyspe that will show us the ultimate effect of the previous pestilence. The world is near to the end, the human race is almost extinct but there’s a little hope still alive. A couple of post-nuclear knights that will fight to find and destroy the evil pyramid. Of course this epsiode is gory homage to post-atomic b-movies of the eighties.

The ambitious project is born from the collaboration of five young independent Italian directors: Alex Visani, Antonio Zannone, Luca Alessandro and the duo Roberto Albanesi & Simone Chiesa.
Each one of them will give birth to an episode of terror generated by the pyramid.

THE PYRAMID gather the strength and passion of this group of artists and represent the Italian independent scene in fact each one of the segments will be filmed in different parts of Italy to prove that horror is alive and kicking and take its wrath along all the country.

I hope we continue to hear more about The Pyramid here on the Bloodsprayer soon!

That’s gonna do it for this edition of the Weekly Bloodlines!  Till next time…

Herbert Streicher, better known by his nom de porn Harry Reems, passed away yesterday (March 19th, 2013) after a battle with pancreatic cancer.  He was 65.

Born August 27th, 1947, Streicher served a stint in the US Marines before garnering an honorable discharge, at which point he began to pursue a career as an actor, primarily off-Broadway.  Looking for ways to support himself financially, he began to appear in short, silent stag loops (the predecessor of the porn film, and to which the current adult industry has gone full circle back to — short, plotless scenes).  His work in these loops eventually brought Herbert Streicher to the attention of Gerard Damiano, who was looking to shoot a film that would trigger a cinematic revolution: DEEP THROAT.  Though originally hired as a lighting technicion for the film, when the original actor failed to show Damiano cast Streicher as Dr. Young, the medical professional who discovers that Linda Lovelace’s clitoris is in the back of her throat – and in the process, Damiano bestowed the pseudonym “Harry Reems” on Streicher.

DEEP THROAT was a colossal success, and Harry Reems’ career as a porn (and sexploitation, appearing in non-pornographic films such as DEADLY WEAPONS, FORCED ENTRY and SEX WISH) star was up and running.  In the immediate aftermath of DEEP THROAT, Reems appeared in DEEP THROAT II, also with Linda Lovelace, and in THE DEVIL IN MISS JONES with Georgina Spelvin.

Also in the wake of DEEP THROAT, Reems would be arrested by FBI agents in July of 1974, and brought to trial in Memphis, Tennessee for “conspiracy to transport obscene material across state lines.”  He was convicted in April of 1976, though was able to successfully appeal and in 1977 all charges against him were dropped.

In later years, Reems would develop problems with drug and alcohol abuse though eventually turned his life around, marrying and becoming a devout Christian. After a time, he did lose interest in organized religion, though he continued to pray and offer thanks to God.  “If I didn’t put God in my life, I’d be dead now,” he said. “I am not religious. I’m spiritual, 100 percent.” He even became a successful real-estate broker.

I for one am glad Harry Reems found peace and happiness in his life, even if it did take hitting rock-bottom to accomplish it.  And Harry, wherever you’ve gone off to, I hope there’s peace and happiness for you there as well.

In pace requiscat.

Hello again Brothers and Sisters of the Psychotronic Video World! Let’s talk about Monster Kids for a moment.  No, I’m not talking about the Children of the Damned or The Bad Seed, but rather kids who are just crazy about monster movies.  I’m one.  I’ve loved monsters as far back as I can remember.  The original Monster Craze seems to have struck in the early 60s, with the introduction of the Aurora monster models and the packaging of the Universal classics for TV, and then of course the flames would be fanned by Forrest J. Ackerman and Famous Monsters magazine.  Interestingly, it’s a craze that, unlike the Hula Hoop or the Pet Rock, has never truly faded away; these days Frankenstein and Dracula have been replaced by Freddy and Leatherface, while Famous Monsters has ceded ground to Fangoria, Horror Hound, and Rue Morgue.  As such, it should come as no surprise that “Monster Kids” have periodically cropped up in monster movies, their knowledge of the genre frequently coming into play to save their bacon.  Some of these listed will likely come as no surprise, while others may have you arching an eyebrow in my direction, but here’s my list of the Top 5 Monster Kids.

5) Billy (Joe King, CREEPSHOW)

Name not ringing a bell? It damn well ought to.  Featured in the prologue and epilogue of George Romero and Stephen King’s love letter to EC Comics, Billy is caught reading a horror comic by his father Stan (an uncredited Tom Atkins), slapped and sent to bed.  Billy later uses a voodoo doll, ordered out of the comic, to exact revenge on his father.  Between the voodoo vengeance and the fact that his love of horror comics is the lynchpin around which the entire film revolves, I thought Billy more than deserved a place on our list, though maybe not a very high one.  So we’re going to put him in at Number Five.

4) Charles Kaznyk (Riley Griffiths, SUPER 8)

Ah, SUPER 8, or as some might call it, “J.J. Abrams’ love letter to Steven Spielberg.” Charles is not the central character of the film, which bumps him down the list, but he gets mad props for being a middle schooler in the process of making a film for a nation-wide film-making contest.  The process of filming is what sets the story of SUPER 8 in process, as their shooting of a scene in a railway depot puts them in position to see an alien creature escape from its government handlers during a train-wreck.  Charles’ passion and drive cement him in place at Number Four on our list.

3) Charles (Charles George Hildebrandt, THE DEADLY SPAWN)

THE DEADLY SPAWN is, for my money, the epitome of independent, low-budget DIY horror filmmaking.  Shot over several years on a budget of $25,000, it’s a loving ode to the alien invasion B-movies of the 1950s, with a set up distinctly reminiscent of THE BLOB (and which would later be utilized in other such tributes, such as NIGHT OF THE CREEPS and KILLER KLOWNS FROM OUTER SPACE).  The special effects are a thing of wonder and beauty, but the high point of the film, for me, is Charles.  As far as I’m concerned, Charles is among the best depictions of “monster kids” ever committed to celluloid.  His room is plastered with posters for THE VALLEY OF GWANGI and KING KONG, and he brings the latest issue of Famous Monsters to the breakfast table.  The film is also careful to show, via a “concerned” aunt and a psychiatrist uncle, that horror nerds like Charles aren’t budding serial killers, but just ordinary people who happen to have a taste for the Macabre.  This point is what brings Charles in as our Number Three in the countdown.

2) Mike (Craig Peck, THERE’S NOTHING OUT THERE)

I was a little iffy including Mike on the list, as he is late high-school age or thereabouts, and thus hardly a “kid.”  On the other hand, these days I’m old and crotchety enough to look at college students and go, “Sunovabitch, they all look like babies.” Take that as you will, but recognize one essential fact: Mike is the indisputable king of the video store.  Five years before SCREAM was released (and almost two decades before CABIN IN THE WOODS made metatextuality cool), Mike recognizes that he and his friends were in a horror movie and took steps, based on his knowledge of every horror movie his local video store stocked, to survive it.  While his tendency to nail doors shut and cower in hockey pads irritates his friends, it should be noted that the people who have faith in him don’t get eaten/mind-controlled/alien-impregnated.  And if nothing else, the scene where a jump-scare involving a cat is followed by Mike’s exasperated “Where did the cat come from? There’s nothing up there but CEILING!” would be enough to make me put Mike down for our Number Two Monster Kid.

1) The Monster Squad (Andre Gower, Robby Kiger, Brent Chalem, Ryan Lambert, Michael Faustino and Ashley Bank, THE MONSTER SQUAD)

You had to have known this was coming.  I mean, seriously.  The Monster Squad’s club house is what every monster kid post-1987 has dreamed of living in.  Hell, I still dream about living in it, and I’m a grown man.  The film, as if it even needed synopsizing, follows a group of 12 year olds who are obsessed with monsters as they discover that Dracula, the Frankenstein’s Monster, the Mummy, Wolfman and Gill-Man are all real, and on the verge of plunging the world into eternal darkness.  With the rest of the world too thoroughly-grounded in reality, it’s up to the Monster Squad to save the world from evil.  It’s impossible to choose just one of the Squad for the honors of Number One, and I could easily do a Top Six list ranking them.  Like pint-sized Avengers, the film gives each member of the Squad their moment to shine and maintains a good balance between them.  In a world where Wolfman’s got nards and Dracula tools around in a customized hearse, it falls to the dorky monster kids to save the world, and that’s why the Monster Squad is my Number One pick for best monster kids.

NOTE: You may notice that a certain kid played by Corey Feldman, John Sheperd, and Thom Matthews did not make the list.  Quite frankly, while Tommy Jarvis from the FRIDAY THE 13TH franchise is interesting in the fact that he’s one of very few “Final Boys,” overall he’s just not an interesting character and his Monster Kid cred isn’t that impressive, even before encountering Jason and putting his fandom behind him.  As such, I just cannot in good conscience include him on the list.

Hello and welcome once again, Brothers and Sisters of the Psychotronic Video World! Now, you’ve seen me talk up CJ Henderson quite a bit here lately, and none of it praise unwarranted.  CJ is a great guy, a real pleasure to talk to, and his work’s always a true joy to read.  When he agreed to do an interview, I knocked out some questions and sent them his way.  Here they are, with his responses.

First off, CJ, let me say thank you for agreeing to this interview. I’ve been a big fan of your work for quite some time now and had been considering contacting you for an interview even before meeting you at Running GAGG. Could you start us off by telling us a little bit about yourself? For instance, when did you start writing?

My earliest memories are of telling stories to the other kids around the street light at night. Then, in the eighth grade, someone said “you ought to write stuff down.” And I said, “that’s a good idea.” Between then and the time I got out of college, I turned out hundreds, literally hundreds of little stories, comic book stuff, adventure, sci fi, very serious oriented, Marvel Comics guest stars … you get the idea.

Anyway, when I graduated, it wasn’t long after that someone said, “you ought to send stuff out and try to sell it.” And I said, “that’s another good idea.” So, well … I did. And, 75 books and/or novels later, I guess it worked.

How were you introduced to the works of H.P. Lovecraft? How about hardboiled detective fiction?

As for Lovecraft, my mother, of all people, brought home a copy of collected HPL stories. No cover. Must have cost a nickel at the time. She thought I might like it. I was 14. To be honest, it scared the crap out of me because it really made me think about stuff, especially my strict Catholic upbringing. She didn’t help the cause any doing that.

As for hardboiled stuff, I have to admit it was the sexy covers on the Mike Shayne novels at the drugstore that got me to spend the quarter a new paperback cost in those days. I fell in love with the genre, though. That black&white, tough-as-nails, never-back-down attitude was what I had been searching for for as long as I could remember. When I discovered hardboiled, I was finally home.

If forced to choose, Raymond Chandler or Dashiell Hammett? Which one’s output do you enjoy more? You don’t strike me as a Mickey Spillane fan, but I’m not one to close off possibilities.

Chandler. Never got into Hammett. Plenty of folks I respect think he’s tops, but when I tried him I didn’t get a feel for the material, and so went elsewhere. You’re right about Spillane, though. He’s terrible. Yes, I was a guest at his 80th birthday party, and would never be so crass as to dis the man to his face, but his stuff was junk. It was written to sell books, not to make any kind of a point. He deserved every penny he ever earned, he just wasn’t the writer for me.

What do you see as the continued draw of hardboiled detective stories? What primal urge do they satisfy that keeps the classics in print and new ones arriving all the time?

It’s the you-get-what-you-pay-for, the world is writ in black and white, we create our own reality, et cetera, attitude. We live in a world that constantly tries to tell us that we have to pay attention to every one else’s views and ideas but our own. That nothing we think or believe is any good unless someone else validates it. That if one person disagrees with a million, that the million have to drop everything and worship the one.

This is bullshit, and any right thinking person knows it. But we live in such a politically correct nightmare of a society, where you can’t do anything without getting it approved by a committee … people don’t want to be told what to do every minute of the day. They especially don’t want to be told that their personal values and goals don’t count for anything because someone, somewhere else, has decided that they’re not allowed to live they want to live any more. One example:

Smoking. I don’t smoke cigarettes, but I do enjoy the occasional pipe or cigar. But, where can you smoke now? People aren’t allowed to smoke inside their own homes, not if any of their neighbors complains. People can’t form smoking clubs, can’t smoke in bars, because the employees of these places are being forced to breathe their smoke. The fact that can go get a job somewhere else doesn’t come into it. They want that job, so no one can smoke. Of course, if you don’t let people smoke in the smoking club, then there are no jobs, but the liberal mindset doesn’t understand that. To them, the smokers should be forced to maintain their club, but just not be allowed to smoke there. Their own property.

You can’t build a home on your property, not if some damn bird stops there once a year on its way south. You can’t … okay, I said one example. But, you get what I mean. The hardboiled character is usually the only one in sight that can see the emperor has no clothes, or at least is the only one who will say so. To work for the fire department, you used to have to be a man over six feet tall. Why? Because part of the job was carrying people out of buildings. But, rather than explain that to the howling feminists, they simply changed the rules so smaller people (men and women) could be fire fighters. Hurray. Justice is served. Except that now, when you have to be rescued, the standard procedure is to drag people outside. Down stairs. Head banging against each step on the way out.

Hardboiled = common sense. Thank god the genre stays popular, because when it disappears, it takes all reason with it.

The Teddy London series is your longest-running and most popular series of books. What’s the key to London’s popularity, in your opinion?

I think the fact that he’s hardboiled at his core has a great deal to do with it. He gained his power by believing in himself and his ideals. People respond to him because he does the right thing. He doesn’t cut corners. Doesn’t try to justify acting like the bad guy. He doesn’t rationalize things. He is who he is, and he knows it. Like Popeye “I yam what I yam and that’s all what I yam.” There’s a certain appeal in that.

Is Teddy London – his personality, his ideals, his dining preferences – based on anyone in particular?

Not really. Jack Hagee, my first series character, was created to allow me to rationalize my place in the world, the universe. I’m not saying I knew I was doing this, but decades later, as you look back on things, you gain perspective. London, my second series character, I do believe I created to allow me to figure out the whole, God/faith/soul thing. In other words, I taught myself to be a man by creating Hagee. I taught myself to be a man in a larger world than my own personal space by creating London.

Piers Knight is another occult investigator, though maybe owing more to Indiana Jones than the Continental Op. Do you consider him to be a sort of successor to London? Not literally, but in the sense of having grown out of ideas and knowledge gained during the process of writing London?

Absolutely. Not so much merely from having written London, but from all my writing, and from just having lived as long as I have. Each new character (and there are scores of them now) teaches me more about myself. Knight is quite different from London in that he’s not driven. He’s just a guy who wants to do his job. He’s not up for adventures. They just keep finding him. He’s a pleasure to write, I love his attitude, but he’s extremely different from London, or anyone else I’ve ever created.

Which of your characters do you find the easiest to write? The most challenging?

Can’t answer either of these questions. When I sit down to write, whoever I feel like working on is the easiest thing in the world to write. If I’m not in the mood, then it’s a struggle. I love all my guys and gals, the same way people love their kids. But there are no favorites. It just depends on what mood I’m in at the time.

Which of your characters do you identify with most strongly?

If I had to chose one–life depending on it for some reason–it would have to be Jack Hagee. But really, I identify with the all. They are all me. Especially the newer characters like Darby and Marv Richards, and even Rocky from my sci fi military musical comedies. I really don’t seem to create anyone that isn’t drawn from some portion of myself. I’m either just not clever enough to, or just don’t want to, create characters that aren’t a part of me.

You’re currently the official scribe of Moonstone Books’ Kolchak novels, and have previously worked with Lin Carter’s occult investigator Dr. Anton Zarnak and expanded on the adventures of Lovecraft’s Inspector Legrasse. What challenges do writing pre-existing characters like these present compared to writing your own characters?

I’ve never found any challenges, to be honest. Everyone says that I’ve captured Darren McGavin’s voice in my Kolchak stories. Glad to hear it, of course, but I didn’t do anything more than watch a few episodes as a refesher before I started. Now, I was an actor in my youth, and it could just be that I have a natural ear for such things. My theory is that with all the characters you mentioned, it’s the fact that what I do with them is what people want to see done with them, and so they respond favorably to me.

I never try to change characters that aren’t mine. My goal is always to go in, find what makes a character tick, and then go from there. Do what was never done with them before, but which everyone wanted to see. One of the main things I do in my fiction is to get inside the character’s heads, let the audience hear what they’re thinking. It took me a while to realize this was something new and different for a lot of folks. Hell, one idiot of a reviewer even condemned me as a hack because … and I swear this is true … in Brooklyn Knight, Piers Knight heard voices in his head, and “he wasn’t even possessed.” I remember reading that in utter amazement. This poor, sad jerk felt equipped to review literature, and yet had never had a conversation within his own mind. He had never once had a thought and then contradicted it within his own mind with another.

Sigh, and there I am getting off on a tangent. Me stop now.

{NOTE: don’t know why the justification changed}

Carl Kolchak was unsuccessfully resurrected for a very short-lived 2005 show, and there’s word that Johnny Depp is interested in playing the character. Can it be done? Or is Kolchak too indelibly connected to Darren McGavin and the Watergate era of investigative reporting?

If it couldn’t be done, then my first Kolchak novel, A Black & Evil Truth would have been my only one. If Depp has the right story, shows the proper respect for the material, he’ll make a good movie. I mean, The Avengers doesn’t follow Marvel canon, but no one seemed to care. Treat Carl, or any character, really, with respect, show that you have their best interest at heart, and the audience will embrace you. I have no use for JJ Abrahms’ (sp?) work, and I am as big a Classic Trek fan as you can find, but I loved his movie and want more. It really is all about respect.

What’s your editing process like on any given short story or novel? How many rewrites, on average, do you go through?

None. I read the work over as I’m doing it, and sometimes I’ll do a final polish, but most everything is stream of consciousness for me. No outlines, no idea where I’m going, just jump in the car and drive.

If you had to select one of your own stories as a personal favorite, which would it be?

Can’t be done. Every day is a different answer. I can’t even pick a favorite genre. Some days I love my comedy best, next it’s hardboiled detective, next … well, you get the idea. Again, you’re asking me to choose between my children. Stop that, bad man.

What’s next for CJ Henderson? What novels, short stories, etc. should we keep an eye out for in the near future? Any convention appearances coming up?

The third Knight novel, “Radio City Knight” is at the printers now. The collected “The Challenge of the Unknown: with your host–Marv Richards” stories are in layout right now. “Bet Your Own Man” the best of my hardboiled stories is on its way from the printer now. All of the Rocky & Noodles stories are being collected later this year. The best of my science fiction stories is being put together as we speak … and there’s more. There’s always more.

As for cons and shows, if anyone is interested, they should just check in at www.cjhenderson.com. I always have a list up for my appearances for the next few months. I did 52 shows last year, so trying to list them here could get insane. I hope people do stop in at the website, though. There are always free short stories posted for folks to read. Come on and visit, folks. Everyone is welcome.

I apologize for the long break in between posts. Things have been pretty hectic on the home front, but thankfully we’re getting back to normal. Without further ado, here’s some Bloodlines for ya!

First up is the official trailer for Henrique Couto’s Babysitter Massacre! Not only is the trailer now officially online, but those of you in the Dayton, Ohio area can see the world premiere of Massacre on Friday, April 12th at the Englewood Cinema in Englewood, Ohio!.  For more information, check out the events page here.  This one has been on the most anticipated list here at the Bloodsprayer for months!

Next up is a beautiful trailer for a new project, TEN from first time director Michael Epstein.

TEN is a collectivist, post-exploitation psychological thriller devised as a possible explanation for the events of the 1972 Spektor Island Massacre. On a cold December afternoon, ten women arrive at a mansion on Spektor Island, famed for years of reported hauntings and strange activities. Will they live through the night?

The all-female cast film is a response to exploitation, slasher, and thriller films, with particular focus on the kind of storytelling prominent in b-movies and genre films from the 1950s to the 1980s. It explores the meaning and fluidity of identity and takes a number of surprising turns, paying homage to filmmakers and producers such as Alfred Hitchcock, Roger Corman, John Carpenter, Wes Craven, Jim Wynorski, Jean Rollin, Lloyd Kaufman, and Andy Sidaris.

The film was conceived by Sarah Wait Zaranek, Michael J. Epstein, and Sophia Cacciola as a two-minute trailer for the 2012 Brattle Theatre (Cambridge, MA) Trailer Smackdown. After selection as a “curator’s choice” at the Smackdown, a successful Kickstarter campaign with 258 backers raised a portion of the budget for the production. Principal shooting took place in December 2012 with expected festival release in 2013 and wider release in 2014.

“No one is who they seem. Not even you.”

Highland Myst Entertainment and Wolfclan Productions are proud to announce their newest film, THE HARROWING, a demonic, horror thriller currently filming on location in Dallas, Texas. In the tradition of SHUTTER ISLAND and JACOB’S LADDER, THE HARROWING follows fallen-from-grace Vice Detective Ryan Calhoun. After a routine surveillance goes horribly wrong, Calhoun is accused of the ritualistic murder of his best friend and partner, a prostitute, and a corrupt Congressmen. Unhinged and tormented by demonic dreams, and bent on discovering the truth, Calhoun is admitted to a forensic hospital for observation where, his sanity slowly sipping away, he begins to uncover the darkest, most terrifying truth imaginable.

Directed by Jon Keeyes (AMERICAN NIGHTMARE, FALL DOWN DEAD), THE HARROWING stars Matthew Tompkins (KILLING DOWN, MISSIONARY MAN) as Detective Calhoun, veteran horror actress Debbie Rochon (AMERICAN NIGHTMARE) as the schizophrenic, necrophiliac Ella, Damon Carney (THE LONE RANGER) as Detective Jack Myers, Michael Crabtree (TEMPLE GRANDIN, PLACES IN THE HEART) as Lt. Logan, Robert McCollum (SUBURBAN NIGHTMARE) as Detective Greenbaum, and Ambre Lowe (PHOBIA) as Calhoun’s wife, Anne. Further casting announcements are coming soon including the addition of a Horror Icon to play the head of the forensic hospital, the possibly villainous Dr. Whitney.

Filming is currently underway in Dallas with the Producers expecting to wrap principal photography in April, 2013.

The Producing/Creative Team of Matthew Tompkins and Jon Keeyes are also preparing to release the horror film NIGHTMARE BOX and the psychological thriller ODD MAN OUT in 2013, and are busily developing a 6 part Mini-Series called THE MECHANICAL GRAVE, a Victorian Science Fiction/Steampunk series following the enormous popularity of the short film, THE MECHANICAL GRAVE, which Mr. Tompkins and Mr. Keeyes released in 2012.

Breaking Glass Pictures and Libertine Films are proud to announce the upcoming March 15 theatrical and VOD release of Jules Stewart’s directorial debut, K-11, a riveting drama that tells the story of a man’s plight after winding up in K-11, the Los Angeles County Jail’s transgender inmate unit.

Fifteen cities around the country are slated to host weeklong theatrical runs of K-11, starting at New York’s Cinema Village, Los Angeles’ Laemmle NoHo Theater, Phoenix’s Film Bar, Columbus’ Gateway Film Center, and others on March 15th. The film will be available nationwide on Demand the same day. Additional runs will follow in cities such as San Diego, San Francisco, Denver and Daytona.

K-11 stars Goran Visnjic (ABC-TV’s upcoming “Red Widow”, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, “ER”) as Raymond Saxx, a businessman whose drug use leads him to incarceration in the section of the Los Angeles County Jail reserved for LGBT inmates and firmly under the heel of Mousey (Kate Del Castillo, Under the Same Moon), a malicious transgendered inmate. Saxx has no idea how he got there — all he knows is he needs to get the hell out…alive and intact. Aggressive cellmates, corrupt officials and his own issues are just a few challenges he deals with while he pieces together a way out of this entirely new brand of hell.

Jules Stewart, mother to Twilight star Kristen, is a lauded script supervisor with over thirty years of experience in Hollywood. In 2010, Stewart formed Libertine Films with her business partner, producer Tom Wright. K-11 is their first feature.

K-11 also stars DB Sweeney (Taken 2), Jason Mewes (Jay & Silent Bob, Clerks), Portia Doubleday (Kimberly Peirce’s Carrie, Youth in Revolt) and Tommy “Tiny” Lister (The Fifth Element, Jackie Brown). Son Cameron Stewart makes his film debut in K-11 as Sledgehammer, while daughter Kristen Stewart (Twilight, On the Road) makes a special contribution.

K-11: Not Rated / 88 Minutes / English / Color

The official poster for the highly anticipated Netflix original series Hemlock Grove has finally been released!   From executive producer Eli Roth and based on Brian McGreevy’s novel of the same name, Hemlock Grove is a riveting one-hour murder mystery that revolves around the residents of a former Pennsylvania steel town. When 17-year-old Brooke Bluebell is brutally murdered, any of Hemlock’s peculiar inhabitants – or killer creatures – could be suspects. Through the investigation, the town’s seamier side is exposed, revealing nothing is what it seems. Beautiful, terrifying and graphic, Hemlock Grove is unlike anything else in its genre. Look for the entire first season (all 13 episodes) to be released on April 19th!

IMAGE ENTERTAINMENT UTTERS
LAST KIND WORDS

Coming to DVD and Digital Video May 21st

CHATSWORTH, CA – Image Entertainment Inc. (a subsidiary of RLJ Entertainment) announces Last Kind Words, a thrilling horror film about a young teen who moves to a secluded rural farm and learns that the surrounding woods have flesh-crawling stories to tell. Directed by Kevin Barker (Five Fingers) and featuring a cast including Brad Dourif (Halloween I, II), Spencer Daniels (Star Trek), Alexia Fast (Jack Reacher) and Marianne Hagan (Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers), Last Kind Words is a chilling visual nightmare that will haunt viewers long after the last credit has rolled.

Last Kind Words arrives on DVD and Digital Download May 21st, with an SRP of $27.97 for the DVD. Pre-book is April 23rd.

17-year-old Eli has just moved with his family deep into the backwoods of Kentucky to work on the isolated farm of a local recluse. Inexplicably drawn into the strange forest that lies beyond the farm, Eli encounters the beautiful, sweet and mysterious Amanda– seemingly the perfect girl. But with the discovery of decaying bodies hanging from the trees, he realizes that the forest…and Amanda…are harboring some very dark secrets. Suddenly, Eli is living in a waking nightmare where the lines between life and death are scrawled in blood, and there is no escaping the terror from beyond the grave.

DEEP SECRETS, SHALLOW GRAVES WITH NEW HORROR PICTURE “ANIMOSITY”
NEW YORK, NY – 11th MARCH 2013 – Director/Writer Brendan Steere (THE VELOCIPASTOR) and Executive Producer Roy Frumkes(STREET TRASH, DOCUMENT OF THE DEAD) present the horror-thriller feature film ANIMOSITY.

A newlywed couple moves into a house in the middle of the woods. Soon, they discover the forest surrounding the house is host to sinister supernatural powers that cause them to turn against each other.

ANIMOSITY was produced by Brandon Taylor (THE REMEMBRANCE) and Michael Allen. It is the first feature film lensed by cinematographer Jesse Gouldsbury. The film is edited by Steve Burgess and scored by composer Geoff Gesch. Tracy Willet (SNOW), Marcin Paluch (THE RETRIBUTION), Tom Martin (DOCTOR BELLO), Alyssa Kempenski (SADIE THE WEBSERIES) and Stephan Goldbach (SEE YOU NEXT TUESDAY) star.

Shot in the northeastern region in Pennsylvania, principle photography took place in August of 2012 and pickups ended in January of 2013.

Director Brendan Steere on Animosity: “I love movies with gobs of gore and blood, but this is just not that movie. I was thinking a lot about Ti West’s films while making it. Argento’s earlier giallo work. Alien and Rosemary’s Baby – movies that creep and build. There’s a palpable mystery and build that really I’m very happy with. I think we’ve really made something special, and I really hope the horror community responds to it.”

ANIMOSITY is having its east coast screening at the School of Visual Arts in Manhattan, New York City between May 4th and 7th of 2013.

Last, but certainly not least is a trailer for the zombie flick, Sick.  Our last update on the film was way back in 2011, but now we begin to see exactly what writer/director Ryan M. Andrews had in his sick mind!  Call me crazy, but any movie with zombies and Debbie Rochon in it automatically moves to the top of my must see list! Check out the trailer above, and I am in contact and will hopefully get a review up on the website soon!

That’s gonna wrap it up for this week.  Till next time…

Hello again Brothers and Sisters of the Psychotronic Video World! We were recently contacted by Lawrie Brewster, an independent director (our favorite kind here at the Blood Sprayer), who wanted to let us know about his recently-completed film LORD OF TEARS.  Here’s how Brewster pitched the film to us:

Lord of Tears is a British Chiller in the classic tradition of films such as The Wickerman, The Innocents and The Haunting. Our story concerns a man trapped in a crumbling mansion, stalked by Owl Headed monster in the misty highlands of Scotland, on a mission to piece together a childhood broken apart by repressed memory and dark secrets. It takes inspiration from classic mythology, ancient history and mordern legends such as those of – Slender Man!

I don’t know about you, but that has this writer drooling all over himself in anticipation.  Those of you who know me know that I list the original 1973 THE WICKER MAN as not only one of my favorite films of all time, but one of the best-made, high-quality, high-concept horror films ever made.

As Brewster noted to us, the film is complete, however they’ve set up a Kickstarter to finance an exhibition tour of the film through the sale of DVD pre-orders.  As of this writing they’ve already surpassed their original planned goal and still have over two weeks left to go, but of course anything over their original goal just gives them more to play with in terms of spreading the good word of the monstrous Owlman.

I’m already blown away by this film, conceptually-speaking, and the trailer looks damned good.  I’m really looking forward to being able to give the film a complete review in the near future.

You can contribute to the Kickstarter and pre-order your copy HERE.

Check out the official site HERE.

And as an added bonus, you can see the trailer again here:

Lord of Tears Official Trailer from Lawrie Brewster on Vimeo.

Greetings, Brothers and Sisters of the Psychotronic Video World.  As I sit here, contemplating the whiskey sour I’ve mixed up, my mind drifts back to the events of the past few days.  A few weeks ago, when I’d met author C.J. Henderson, never would I have imagined what I would find lurking at his table.  I’m no stranger, you see, to vampires, werewolves, and your standard-issue Things That Go Bump In The Night™, but that day I saw something that made the short hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.  A few days ago, I’d managed to make my way through some obligated reading and was able to settle in with the large, heavy tome I’d carefully slipped into my bag after passing a rumpled portrait of Andrew Jackson to Mr. Henderson.

*ahem*

Sorry about that, Brothers and Sisters.  I was trying to give you my best approximation of Darren McGavin’s trademark introductory monologue, with which each episode of Kolchak: The Night Stalker opened back in 1974-75.  Lacking Mr. McGavin’s magnificently rumpled charisma (and a porkpie hat and seersucker suit of my own), perhaps it’s best I slip back into my own voice.  Yeah, in summary, I gave C.J. Henderson $20 and walked away with a copy of Kolchak: The Night Stalker Compendium from Moonstone Books, collecting a whopping 43 short stories chronicling the further adventures of one Carl Kolchak, previously published in two volumes as Kolchak: The Night Stalker Chronicles and Kolchak: The Night Stalker Casebook.  43 stories! That’s like two additional seasons of the best paranormal investigator ever put on TV! My only quibble is that most of the stories have moved forward in time to the present — or at least the mid-aughts, meaning Kolchak and Tony Vincenzo have been working at INS for over forty years without apparently aging in the slightest.  But hey, it’s paranormal fiction, who can say…

Unlike Star Trek, while Kolchak: The Night Stalker was popular in its time (the original TV movie THE NIGHT STALKER got the kind of market shares that only the Super Bowl gets today) it never really spun off that much in terms of franchise material — no series of sequel films, no novel tie-ins, etc.  It would seem, when Kolchak went off the air in 1975, that Carl Kolchak had turned in his last assignment.

Kolchak’s work lived on however, and as we’re ever so fond of saying around here, “that is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange aeons even death may die.”

When Chris Carter was developing what would become The X-Files, his main source of inspiration was his most immediate predecessor in terms of high-quality paranormal investigation — Kolchak: The Night Stalker.  While Carter originally wanted McGavin to reprise his role in a few episodes, McGavin declined to do so, and instead played a fresh character, a retired FBI agent named Arthur Dales, credited as being the “father of the X-Files.”  Personally, I like to think “Arthur Dales” was Carl Kolchak living under an assumed identity to escape persecution from the undead.

In 2001, Moonstone Books acquired the Kolchak license and began to produce comic books, graphic novels (including adaptations of two scripted but unfilmed episodes) and fiction collections featuring Carl Kolchak.  I haven’t gotten the opportunity to check out their ongoing Kolchak comic series yet, but maybe with next paycheck…

In 2005, Carl Kolchak would be resurrected for television, played by Stuart Townsend, whom I only really know as playing Dorian Gray in 2003′s lousy LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN movie.  This show lasted an even shorter span of time than the original, with just six episodes aired and ten filmed overall.  I haven’t seen it and am honestly in no hurry to.

Now there’s word that a new cinematic NIGHT STALKER is possibly forthcoming, with Johnny Depp taking on the mantle of porkpie hat and rumpled suit, with Edgar Wright at the helm.  Well, it can’t be any worse than Johnny Depp as Barnabas Collins…right?

Exciting news to report today, as director Joshua Hull has officially announced that Alex House from the hilarious Todd and the Book of Pure Evil (seriously check it out on Netflix if you are not familiar) is on board to co-star in his new indie horror-comedy The Ballad of Sadie Grace!  Unfortunately, news on the project is still pretty scarce, but check out the official website and continue to keep an eye on the Bloodsprayer for any and all updates!  Check out the official press release below!

TODD & THE BOOK OF PURE EVIL Star Joins Slasher Comedy THE BALLAD OF SADIE GRACE!

Alex House (Todd from TODD & THE BOOK OF PURE EVIL) is on-board to co-star alongside horror icon Bill Moseley in the slasher-comedy THE BALLAD OF SADIE GRACE. Plot details are being kept under wraps but House will play a struggling author who reluctantly returns home to face his questionable past with local slasher legend Sadie Grace.

The script is written by standup comedian Josh Arnold (The Impersonators) & will be directed by Joshua Hull (Beverly Lane, The Impersonators). Bryan Wilson (Underground Entertainment The Movie) will produce. David M. Brewer (Insidious) will be Director Of Photography.

Production is set to begin late-2013.

Official site:

http://www.sadiegracelives.com/

“Like” The Film On Facebook:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Ballad-Of-Sadie-Grace/214196918714592?ref=ts&fref=ts

Classic slasher style and unfortunately, classic slasher shortcomings.

Nobody Gets Out Alive, the latest from Image Entertainment, shoots for the tried and true slasher plot. Something terrible happens. Years later, the story is told of the victim of the horrible incident. HE STALKS THESE WOODS TODAY! And it turns out he actually does. Kids die off one by one, and someone survives and kills the killer. I honestly can’t even give you more specifics, because it’s that generic.

Where the film succeeds is in its casting (of only a few characters,) and cinematography. While some characters were portrayed brilliantly, others fell short. The cinematography however, was near perfect. Usually when I’m given something to view that I don’t enjoy, I have a hard time seeing anything good about it. Several times during the movie I actually said “Wow” out loud. In a good way.

So although the film was shot well, the lame attempts at humor, and persistent harassment of one character who never really did anything wrong, rubbed me the wrong way. Remember all those guys who thought they were funny, but they were really just dicks? This film made those guys lead characters. Sorry. I just don’t get it.

Oh yeah. If you want to say you’re paying your respects to the genre, at least be ballsy like those pioneers were. Do an extreme effect. They did it in the 70s, and even though you can tell it’s not real, they went for it. They jam-packed it with gore. Not a little blood splash here and there.

If you want to watch a relatively generic slasher flick that pays homage to some of the worst films the 70s and 80s had to offer, pick up Nobody Gets Out Alive. Otherwise, wait for something good.

Welcome back horror fiends for another collection of new trailers, press releases, and news for you to overindulge yourself with. Let’s not waste any time, I’ve got a lot to share.

SYNAPSE FILMS PRESENTS

Hello again, Brothers and Sisters of the Psychotronic Video World. You may recall me mentioning the name Teddy London before. If not, allow me to bring you up to speed.  Theodore “Teddy” London is a New York City PI who has the ill-fortune to be the foretold “Destroyer,” a champion chosen by fate to stand between unspeakable cosmic evil and the fragile existence of the human race.  He’s the central protagonist (though far from alone; he has an appreciable support group of friends and allies watching his back) of a series of novels and short stories by author CJ Henderson.  Two weeks ago I had the good fortune to meet with Mr. Henderson and speak with him, and me being the mad bibliophile I am, drop three times what I intended to on books at his table.  As most of my experience with Teddy London’s adventures has been in the form of the short stories (my local library did have The Sleep That Refreshes, a mid-series novel), I made a point to pick up the first two Teddy London novels for my shelves.  These would be, respectively, The Things That Are Not There (2002) and The Stench of Fresh Air (2004), which have just come back in print in the US for the third time.

As you might imagine, I pretty swiftly devoured these two novels.  As an added bonus, this printing pairs each novel up with a short story featuring one of the supporting cast.

After Carl Kolchak, Theodore London is my favorite investigator of the occult.  I’ll take him over Fox Mulder, or Harry Dresden, or any of Lovecraft’s wildly interchangeable protagonists (though C.J. Henderson has also written some AMAZING linked short stories starring Lovecraft’s Inspector Legrasse) any day of the week.  And I think London and Kolchak share one particular feature that makes me appreciate them more.  They’re both regular schmoes trying to put in a day’s work for a day’s wage, when unreality intervenes and sends that plan ass over teakettle.

In The Things That Are Not There, London’s ready to hang up his PI license and find a new line of work.  He’s sick of tailing cheating spouses or checking up on potential employees, and a final straw comes when a lightning strike destroys his office and ten years’ worth of files.  As he’s sitting in the wreckage of his office and wondering what to do next, he’s approached by a young woman, Lisa Hutchinson, who’s convinced she’s being followed, possibly by agents of her over-strict, fundamentalist father, whom she’d run away from.  As she tells her story, a bat-winged, frog-faced humanoid comes fumbling through where London’s window used to be, clawing at Lisa.  Once London (or more accurately, his wisecracking janitor, Paul) dispatches the beast, he realizes that this is the case of a lifetime.  Unfortunately, fish-frog-bat-men are the least of London’s worries when he sees what’s trying to use Lisa as a conduit to break into our dimension…

The Stench of Fresh Air finds London a scarred, beaten, and broken man, physically, mentally, and emotionally in the wake of Q’talu’s rampage across New Jersey.  His first day back on the job as a PI brings him a job that leads him and Paul, now his partner in investigation, deep into the heart of Chinatown and into a mystery stretching back 5,000 years.  Along the way, London has to deal with a crippling sense of survivor’s guilt, overwhelming PTSD, and a burgeoning case of psychic and metaphysical powers, courtesy his position as the Destroyer and having opened himself up to dimensions beyond the ones most of humanity deals with.  He’s skeptical of his client’s claims of vampiric harassment, until she’s torn limb from limb in her own home.  As London takes the fight to the nosferatu, he’s left to wonder if his life will ever go back to normal, or if there’s even any normal for him to go back to.

CJ Henderson’s prose here is every bit as terse as one could hope for in hardboiled detective fiction, with an authorial tone that would do Chandler proud.  At the same time, he does an amazing job of balancing London as both superhuman and all-too-human.  He may have unlocked his racial memories and walked the Dream Plane, but he still has his scrambled eggs and bialy like the rest of us, and I think that ongoing tension between normal and paranormal is one of the series’ strongest points.

And seriously — when was the last time you saw a character in paranormal fiction sporting realistic, believable psychological trauma? London’s struggle to cope with existence in the wake of the Q’talu incident rings resoundingly true, especially his self-loathing and self-recrimination as he fights to come to terms with the fact that he lived through Q’talu, while nearly two million people did not.  I would not be surprised to learn that CJ worked from accounts by war veterans and retired police in composing the personal aftermath of London’s pyrrhic victory.

I’ll be continuing to pick of the series as they’re reissued, so look for more reviews of Teddy London’s adventures.  Also, CJ Henderson agreed to an interview, so hopefully we can get that going pretty soon as well.  I’m excited, Brothers and Sisters, and you should be too.

So here it is, February and we are about to get our second release from director Dustin Mills. Hot off last months phenomenal DVD release of Night of the Tentacles, he is back with the DVD release of his fourth film, Bath Salt Zombies.  Can Dustin keep up the impressive streak of solid micro-budgeted gold he has released so far?

The movie opens with an animation prologue shot like an educational film describing exactly what bath salts are, and how dangerous they can be if abused.  After the prologue, we are in New York City where we meet Richie and his girlfriend.  After a brief argument over who finished up all their drugs, Richie heads out to find some bath salts.  He runs into local dealer Bubbles, who is offering up a new designer version of bath salts in cigarette form.  When offered to Richie at the right price (“the first pack’s on me”) he quickly takes them and heads over to a friends house to get high before he has to share with his girl.  While high, Richie snaps into a cannibalistic craze and kills his beautifully naked friend, and eats her face!

Meanwhile Agent Forster of the DEA is taking down the large drug conglomerate in town, The Dragons.  After making his big bust, he catches Richie in an alley with another of his cigarettes.  He takes it and after testing it he finds out that it is a military grade hallucinogen and is on a one man mission to get them off the streets.  But can he catch up with Richie before he smokes his way through most of his friends?

There is a lot to love in Bath Salt Zombies.  First and foremost, it is a gore soaked good time!  The blood and guts are flying fast and furious throughout the manic 70 minute pace!  A special shout out to one death scene in particular that made me bounce off the couch in enjoyment, and would make Jason Voorhees jealous!  Also, like most Dustin Mills flicks, it is stacked with plenty of tits and ass for those of you that like to partake.  Finally, I will say that the cast does another fantastic job.  Sprinkled with regulars (Josh Eal, Jackie McKown, Ethan Holey, Dustin and his dog Charlie, and once again the star of the show Brandon Salkil) they once again know how to put together a hell of a show!  Oh, and the animated opening is hilarious!

I do want to mention to all you gore hounds out there, that even with the huge amount of death and carnage, this movie is much less a horror movie than what I would call a gonzo fantasy action movie more akin to something I’d see from Takashi Miike than George Romero.  Don’t get me wrong, I love both directors, just don’t go into Bath Salt Zombies looking for something frightening, watch it instead for the over the top action and comedy (especially the final act when things get a bit trippy).

Also keep in mind that Dustin and producer Clint Weiler took a million dollar idea, and made it for around $5000!  While I personally would have preferred the ending to be a little less green screen and a little more practical, it’s hard to do as much with as little as Dustin and Clint did.  I mean Toledo is a poor substitute for New York after all!

What can I say?  Someone pay the man!  Dustin has proven time and again that he can do so much with so little, that it’s time to see what he can really do when he’s got some green in his budget!  Bath Salt Zombies is once again a ton of fun, and it’s a new vision from Dustin that is less horror and more zany action/comedy.  Look for Bath Salt Zombies on DVD tomorrow, February 19th from MVD  Entertainment Group.

Wonder what Dustin will release next month??

Lake Noir is a new slasher movie from Brain Damage Films that will be coming out on DVD next week (February 19th to be precise).  I have not hidden my love for the slasher genre in the past, so I’m excited to see what writer Abel Martinez Jr. and director Jeffrey Schneider can come up with!

The movie opens with a large Latino man being beaten by two jocks with a baseball bat, while a third is raping a young woman against a truck.  We then quickly cut to what will be known as present time, and a group of “high school” kids are about to go on a camping excursion to Lake Harris.  The group drives for what seems like forever before they finally come to a gas station just into town to fill up on gasoline and alcohol (of course).  While at the service station, an old man who hangs out in front of the station all day warns our young campers to turn around.  Nothing good comes from a visit to Lake Harris.  He then tells the story of the large Latino man who fell in love with the young woman, and her jealous ex-boyfriend and his friends who assaulted them out at the lake.  The man was knocked into the water (where he could not swim) and was never seen again.  Since then, people believe that he roams the woods near the lake seeking revenge on any young couples who step foot in his lake.  Of course they ignore him and go back to the camp, or else we’d have no movie!

What can I say, I really really really wanted to love Lake Noir.  I know that is was one giant cliche from start to finish, but that was okay with me.  I could run right down the Friday the 13th checklist on this one: 1. stupid teenagers 2. sex and nudity 3. drinking 4. warning from old timer not to go to the lake 5. skinny dipping 6. infidelity 7. urban legend killer.  Everything was there for this to be a great throwback to some of my favorite movies!  Unfortunately, it didn’t all click.

For starters, all of the characters are assholes which isn’t a huge deal in a slasher movie, but I really just sat around and waited for them to die.  Even the virginal “last girl” was only there to be a cock block to her boyfriend, and to set up the obvious twist ending.  Add in the fact that you get almost 70 minutes with these douche bags before there is any on screen carnage and it’s a bit of a drag getting to the payoff.  The final 20 minutes is an improvement, but you really gotta love your nudity and slasher cliches to get there.  As a side note, the killer was also a bit underwhelming as well.  As a large man myself, I don’t believe I’m all that intimidating (zombie makeup or not).

Lake Noir is a token slasher movie for die hard slasher fans.  The movie isn’t horrible, it’s just dull and doesn’t have likable characters nor enough slashing throughout it’s 90 minute time frame for me.  It is full of lots of skin and throwbacks to the glorious 80′s so it will definitely have it’s audience.

Movie review time!  Up this time is the latest from Image Entertainment, Cherry Tree Lane. Cherry Tree Lane is a thriller from across the pond written and directed by Paul Andrew Williams (The Children).

Cherry Tree Lane opens with an uncomfortable dinner between husband and wife Michael and Christine.  The couple seem to have nothing left in common, save for their son Sebastian.  While trying to find something to talk about, the two are interrupted by a knock at the door.  In barges hoodlums Rian, Oscar, and Teddy who quickly overpower the couple and duct tape their hands, feet, and mouths.  Rian (the ringleader) explains to the beaten parents that they are there for their son, and are gonna quietly wait for him to come home.  After a little downtime, the boys begin to lose their patience while waiting for Sebastian and they take their frustrations out on the parents.  Someone finally knocks at the door, but it’s more of the neighborhood kids who want to see what happens to Sebastian.  Sebastian eventually makes it home, and like most home invasion movies the parents eventually get loose.  What will happen when two angry parents get their hands on the hoodlums?

The home invasion/revenge genre has been worked to death.  From classics like the obvious Last House on the Left or I Spit On Your Grave to the more contemporary Funny Games or The Strangers, there have been some extremely amazing fims.  While not a bad movie by any means, Cherry Tree Lane doesn’t quite hold up with it’s predecessors.  For starters, most of the movies violence happens off camera which works for awhile, but eventually begins to suck some of the life out of the movie.  Another bad sign is when a movie is only 77 minutes long, and it feels like it’s dragging.  Waiting  for Sebastian to get home just takes too darn long.

I will say that the movie does have a creepy feel to it due to the fact that the antagonists are literally just kids.  Cherry Tree Lane definitely feels like it could be a true story, and that’s so sad to think of teenagers being so mad at a schoolmate to stretch to such extremes, but it happens all too often.  Also of note is that Cherry Tree Lane from a technical standpoint is fantastic.  The movie looks great, and the acting is phenomenal.

While Cherry Tree Lane is an effective thriller, it is a tried and true formula that has been done better before.  That does not mean that the movie is a total waste, as there are some excellent performances that make it worth a look.  Look for Cherry Tree Lane now on DVD from Image Entertainment.

Sid Haig says it best in the opening of Mimesis. Today’s horror fans aren’t satisfied with torture porn or excessive gore. They want the real thing. Mimesis delivers.

We open on a group of people at a horror convention in nearby Detroit, MI. They are invited to a after party that night. Reluctantly, our main characters go. They wake up the next morning dressed as characters from George Romero’s classic Night of the Living Dead. Zombies outside. Tension between the house dwellers. Everything that the original had, set in the modern day. There’s a bit of a twist. I won’t reveal anything- it’s too good. How will these seven people survive the night and make it until dawn?

I’ve been covering Mimesis for a while now. I was incredibly excited when Wes told me he had a copy for review. I watched it. I enjoyed it. I thought a little too much into it. It wasn’t what I built it up to be in my mind. Was it a fantastic movie? Absolutely. Would I recommend it? Yes. But the weeks of anticipation and planning out in my mind the actual plot kind of ruined it for me.

The acting was either spot on, or way off course. I caught an actress laughing at a particularly serious moment. However, the lead actor did everything I could ever ask of a main character. Sadness! Taking charge! Fear! It was all there.

I was pretty fond of the makeup done on the zombies. While not realistic to a decaying human, they looked exactly like the zombies from the Romero original. Effects were a little hokey, but what do you expect from a low budget film?

I thought about my reviewing process a little more on this film. When you’re excited for something, you expand it in your mind. It’s going to be AMAZING. So when it doesn’t meet those expectations, you’re a little let down. Such is life in the critique business. We can’t always get what we want. But if we try sometimes, we can still enjoy a film that pays homage to one of the most revered horror films of all time.

Mimesis will be out February 12^th on both Blu-ray and DVD. If you want a good, classic style horror flick, with plenty of genre references and a great twist, pick it up. It’s worth it.

Greetings horror fiends! I’m back with a slew of indie horror news to wet your whistle this fine Sunday afternoon. Have a look!

First up is the premiere trailer for the upcoming horror film The Hospital from Deviant Pictures!  Check out the official press release below for more information, as well as a link to the official Facebook page here!

PRESS RELEASE – Official Trailer For THE HOSPITAL Drops

An official trailer for Deviant Pictures’ highly anticipated horror film THE HOSPITAL, featuring John Dugan (THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE), Jim O’Rear (THE DEAD MATTER), Daniel Emery Taylor (RETURN OF THE SWAMP THING), Scott Tepperman (GHOST HUNTERS INTERNATIONAL), April Burril (CHAINSAW SALLY), and Jason Crowe (DEAD MOON RISING), has been unleashed online.

Filmed in actual haunted locations, THE HOSPITAL mixes themes from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Hostel, Saw, and Paranormal Activity to bring to the screen what Tony Todd (CANDYMAN) says is, “the sickest shit since Rosemary’s Baby.”

The story is this… Old St. Leopold’s Hospital has many urban legends surrounding it, but the residents of Bridgeport all agree on one thing: tortured souls roam its abandoned halls. The mystery proves too much for a pretty young student who decides to investigate for her senior class project. Unfortunately, she does not find ghosts. She, instead, finds Stanley… serial rapist, murderer, and psychopath. As the young girl becomes Stanley’s new pet, a team of young investigators descend on the hospital to “hunt some ghosts.” Stanley sees nothing but fun and games in his future. But, what Stanley does not know is that the hospital truly is haunted and the restless spirits there are not happy with what he has been doing.

A special test screening of THE HOSPITAL will be held on March 9th at the Dead Winter Horror Convention, with stars from the film in attendance, followed by the international premiere of the film in Dortmund, Germany, on March 23rd, as part of the Movie Days/Dark Zone celebration.

Next up is the official trailer announcing the DVD and Blu-ray release of the latest from Magnet Releasing, Sushi Girl!  Synopsis: Fish has spent six years in jail. Six years alone. Six years keeping his mouth shut about the robbery, about the other men involved. The night he is released, the four men he protected with silence celebrate his freedom with a congratulatory dinner. The meal is a lavish array of sushi, served off the naked body of a beautiful young woman. The sushi girl seems cationic, trained to ignore everything in the room, even if things become dangerous. Sure enough, the four unwieldy thieves can’t help but open old wounds in an attempt to find their missing loot. Sushi Girl also features an all star cast including Tony Todd, Mark Hamill, Sonny Chiba, and Jeff Fahey amongst others!   Look for Sushi Girl on DVD and Blu-ray February 19th!

The debut poster for the upcoming thriller The Silence was also released.  The Silence begins 23 years ago on a hot summer day, when a young girl named Pia is brutally murdered in a field of wheat.  Now, on the exact same date in the present, 13-year-old Sinikka is missing, her bicycle abandoned in the same spot.  As Krischan, the retired investigator of the unresolved case, and his younger colleague David struggle to solve the mystery of these parallel crimes, Sinikka’s distraught parents are trapped in an agonizing period of waiting and uncertainty.  Meanwhile, their daughter’s fate rips open old wounds in the heart of Pia’s mother, who is visited by an unexpected guest with an eerie connection to her daughter.  The unrelenting summer heat lies over the quaint family homes like a bell jar and behind closed doors, worlds begin to fall apart.  Look for The Silence in select theaters March 8th!

Hello again, Brothers and Sisters of the Psychotronic Video World! If you’re like me, you’re digging yourselves out from under the blanket of snow left by Winter Storm Nemo.  Astonishingly, Buffalo managed to avoid a repeat of the Blizzard of ’77, and got nowhere near what Connecticut and New York City got, but we still go a respectable portion of snow.  And so I got it into my head to make a short list for y’all of some appropriate viewing material for this kind of weather.  Are you ready? Bundle up, and we’ll get watching.

CANNIBAL! THE MUSICAL (1993, Trey Parker): From the men responsible for South Park comes this gruesomely funny little independent film, detailing the story of Alferd Packer and the disastrous trip from Utah to Colorado that left his companions dead and partially eaten.  Unsurprisingly, Parker takes some liberties with Packer’s story, including having a tribe of “Nihonjin” “Indians” played by Japanese students (Nihonjin being Japanese for “Japanese people”) teach Packer martial arts and rescue him from the gallows with katanas.

The film handles the subject of cannibalism as light-heartedly as possible, including a spirited discussion of whether or not it’s okay to eat a man’s butt.  Likewise, an attempt to raise each other’s spirits through song and snowman-building belies the grim and near-certain fatality of being caught unprepared in a Colorado winter.  Despite the catchy tunes and silly costumes (I love the googly eyes on the one trapper’s skunk-fur hat) this is, at heart, a tale of men slowly freezing to death and being forced to resort to eating their own dead in a desperate, last-ditch effort to survive.

The Shining (1980, Stanley Kubrick): All work and no play makes writer and recovering alcoholic Jack Torrance (Jack Nicholson) a homicidal maniac after he takes a job as caretaker for the Overlook Hotel, moving his wife Wendy (Shelley Duvall) and son Danny (Danny Lloyd) in for the winter.  Before long, Jack is being tormented by the ghosts of the Overlook, and Danny is manifesting psychic powers.

Though author Stephen King originally disliked the film for stripping away much of what he deemed of worth in the story (most notably, minimizing Jack Torrance’s alcoholism, an affliction King was battling as he wrote the novel), he’s become less irritable with the film over the last thirty years, describing it at times as “chilling” and noting in Danse Macabre that the film truly added something to the realm of horror fiction.  The film also stands as a testament to Kubrick’s obsessiveness as a director, including forcing Shelley Duvall through 127 takes to get a line of dialogue perfect, and ACTUALLY MENACING HER WITH A BASEBALL BAT TO ENSURE HER TERROR ON SCREEN WAS BELIEVABLE.

THE THING (1982, John Carpenter): The men of U.S. Antarctica Research Program Outpost #31 have a problem.  A shapeshifting alien, frozen in the ice for thousands of years, has been released and is now impersonating one or more of them, and replacing more of them with each passing hour.  The survivors must find a way to identify who among them are now “things” and prevent them from reaching civilization, where they could infect the entire world.

Much closer to John W. Campbell’s original novella “Who Goes There?” than its predecessor, 1951′s THE THING FROM ANOTHER WORLD, John Carpenter’s take on the material plays up the paranoia of Body Snatchers-style replacement, overlaying it on top of the cabin fever and desolation of a group of men stuck at the bottom of the world.  The isolation is emphasized by the Ennio Morricone soundtrack and long, tracking shots of the icy wastes.  As an added bonus, Rob Bottin’s creature designs and practical effects ushered in new levels of grue and physical, venereal horror.  I consider the 1982 THE THING to be one of the most perfect films ever committed to celluloid, and with good reason.  It’s a film where everything just comes together and works so perfectly.

There you have it, readers.  Three films to enjoy while the snow piles up, burying your car, your pets, and your house.  As the numbing, draining cold seeps into your bones, at least you’ll go with a smile frozen on your face.

Can we all just agree to give Jason Trost a bigger budget?

All Superheroes Must Die is an action / horror flick from the aforementioned director. Coming from a family of effects artists and designers, it’s easy to see where his inspiration blossomed. Four superheroes wake up in a semi-abandoned town. Stripped of their powers by their nemesis Rickshaw (The excellent James Remar, of Dexter and The Warriors fame,) the must play his game to keep the hundred or so innocent civilians in the town alive. What follows is a tale of ethics, love, and explosions that will keep you guessing what’s next.

Wow. Just wow. I was familiar with Trost’s earlier picture, The FP, which is essentially about gang battles via Dance Dance Revolution. I knew he had vision. I knew he could write. But I didn’t know just how into this movie I’d get. A combination of Saw-esque manipulation with the sort of moral questions we only touch on in major superhero movies presents an awesome story that could only have been better if they’d had more time and money.

I will gripe about the acting a bit. It was pretty clear who your leads are very quickly into the film. I won’t spoil anything, but I wasn’t terribly upset when the first hero dies. Bland. A lack of real emotion. That’s what I got from him. As for the rest of the cast, fantastic. Lucas Till is great as Cutthroat. I’m sure Trost covers his one eye to prevent you from looking at it (he’s blind in his right eye,) but I was so distracted by the fact that it was covered; it led me to find out that last tidbit.

For a low budget flick, it didn’t disappoint. Costumes, effects and settings made it apparent that they weren’t shooting a Hollywood blockbuster, but that didn’t matter. A great story, mostly great acting, and awesome directing made this a film I’d gladly add to my shelf. It’s in stores now, so make sure to grab yourself a copy.

But really. Give Jason Trost more money.

I was gonna add this to my Weekly Bloodlines column, but it didn’t seem to fit anywhere. Recent film school graduate Garrett DeHart has released his senior thesis film If I Am Your Mirror for free on You Tube and it is gorgeous! Check out a blip about Garrett and his film below, and please watch If I Am Your Mirror. There is a ton of talent in this young man and I hope to hear from him again in the future!

“If I Am Your Mirror”; An 18 minute short animated film inspired by romantic painting and Edgar Allan Poe. In a post-Civil War jail, a psychologically scarred veteran (Larry Holden of Batman Begins, Memento), awaits his death by hanging at dawn. Mourning the death of his wife and struggling with post-traumatic nightmares, he seeks revenge on the mysterious street preacher with an evil eye. Trapped between madness and a reality that is insane, he recollects what led him to the gallows.

“If I Am Your Mirror” is Garrett DeHart’s graduate thesis film. He shot  the actors in a chromakey studio and developed an animation technique to simulate an animated oil painting. He did all the post production himself over a two year period. He has forgone the festival circuit to release the film for free online in the hopes of getting out to as large an audience as possible, and to develop working professional relationships.  The film was produced with a budget under $5000. 

Greetings gorehounds. I’m back with another slew of press releases and information on some upcoming horror movies to keep an eye on in 2013! Let’s get too it!

First up is Anchor Bay Entertainment and some info on the serial killer thriller Escapee!  Here’s the official press release.

Based on true events…

What the nature of unrelenting evil? Does it have a face? A voice? Once confronted, can we escape it? On April 16th, Anchor Bay Entertainment releases the suspense thrillerEscapee on Blu-ray™ and DVD.

Written and directed by Campion E. Murphy, Escapee stars Dominic Purcell (Hijacked, Bad Karma, “Prison Break”), Christine Evangelista (The Joneses), Faith Ford (“Murphy Brown,” Hope & Faith”), Melissa Ordway (Ted, In Time, 17 Again) , and Carly Chaikin (The Last Song, “Suburgatory”). SRP for the Blu-ray™ is $24.99 and $22.98 for DVD. Pre-book is March 20^th.

While on an observational trip to a high security prison for the criminally insane, young psychology student Abby Jones (Evangelista) has a chilling encounter with psychotic serial killer Harmon Porter (Purcell). Abby returns home that night to study with her two roommates, unaware of the dark forces she’s unleashed within Harmon. That evening, while a hurricane rages through town, Harmon slashes his way out of jail, leaving a brutal trail of bloody bodies in his quest to possess the body and soul of Abby Jones.

Bonus features on Escapee DVD and Blu-ray™ include a making-of featurette, photo gallery and the trailer.

Next up is one I’m really looking forward to, Mimesis!  A new twist on the classic George A. Romero film Night of the Living Dead, Mimesis drops next week from Anchor Bay!  Check out an official synopsis, as well as two new clips they released on the public just before release day!

ANCHOR BAY ENTERTAINMENT PRESENTS THE NEXT EVOLUTION IN HORROR CINEMA

MIMESIS

Turning the classic horror film NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD
into a real life nightmare February 12th on Blu-ray™ and DVD

Why watch a horror film when you can live one?

For over a century, fans have had their blood curdled and spins chilled by the vicarious thrills of horror films. Whether populated by ghouls, slashers, zombies or vampires, fans flocked to have their pulse quickened and exercise their scream-generating skills. But one thing remained constant: eventually the story ended, because it was only a movie. What if it didn’t have to end? What if the next level of horror was to experience a horror film from the inside?

*Mimesis, as defined by Merriam Webster Dictionary: “imitation, mimicry.”

In the film, a group of horror fans find themselves unwilling participants in a living nightmare that pays homage to a classic horror film. Seven complete strangers whose only common link is a love for classic era horror films are invited to attend an exclusive “horror fan” party at a remote farm. But as the sun sets, these strangers soon find themselves within a real life version of the 1968 George Romero cult horror classic Night of the Living Dead!

Image Entertainment has released a new trailer and press release for their next upcoming genre film, The Frankenstein Theory.  

From the makers of The Last Exorcism

IT’S ALIVE!

IMAGE ENTERTAINMENT WAKES THE DEAD IN FRANKENSTEIN THEORY

VOD and theatrical engagements begin March 1^st;

 DVD arises March 26th

CHATSWORTH, CA – Before Robert DeNiro, before Christopher Lee or even Boris Karloff, there was the original novel: Frankenstein. Published in 1818 and written by Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley, it is universally recognized as one of the greatest works of horror fiction in the English language. But what if it wasn’t conjecture? What if the story of how one man dared to steal the secret of creation was true?

Image Entertainment will challenge all that you know, or think you know, with The Frankenstein Theory. Directed by Andrew Weiner, The Frankenstein Theorypremieres on VOD and select theatrical engagements on March 1^st, with the DVD release set for March 26^th.  The DVD pre-book date is February 26^th and is available for an SRP of $27.97.

What if the most chilling novel of all time was actually based on a true account of a horrific experiment gone awry? When he is suspended from his university job for his outlandish ideas, Professor John Venkenheim leads a documentary film crew to the rim of the Arctic Circle in a desperate effort to vindicate his academic reputation. The object of his ridicule? His obscure theory that Shelley’s literary classic is, in fact, a work of non-fiction disguised as fantasy. In the vast, frozen wilderness, Venkenheim and his team search for the legendary monster, a creature nearly three hundred years old and still cloaked in mystery. What they find is an unspeakable truth more terrifying than any fiction…

Now for some independent horror news.  Just north of the border from where I sit there’s a little werewolf flick filming called Hunger Unholy.  Unfortunately for fans of the subgenre, werewolves haven’t been given their proper due the past couple years, and here’s hoping Hunger Unholy will do just that!  Check out the official teaser trailer, as well as the official facebook page here.  I will keep my eyes and ears on this one, and any further news I hope to share!

Speaking of teaser trailers, Dustin Mills (Night of the Tentacles, Zombie A-hole) unleashed a first glimse at Easter Casket, his second film on the docket for this year!  Much like the Bath Salt Zombies we premiered last month, this one looks like another good time!  We’ll continue to keep you updated on these and any other projects he pumps out this year!

That’s gonna wrap up this edition of the Weekly Bloodlines!  Any news or feedback please hit me up at mattbloodsprayer@gmail.com.  Till next time…

I tossed up a press for this film a little while back, and I’m getting more and more excited for it. For fans of Romero films and Cabin in the Woods-esque meta-films, this one is for you.

Interviews, donut delivering killers and a fitting end, all in this week’s, and the final episode of the season, American Horror Story Asylum.

Johnny is shown in present day committing the atrocities against the Lovers from the first few episodes.

Lana is being interviewed for a TV special. Johnny is hiding out as the crewmember that brought the donuts. And we finally get to find out what happened to all those lost souls and untied loose ends.

In a flashback, Lana is shown filming the expose that brought down Briarcliff. She finds Jude, and all is well. But she says that’s not the real story. Jude was already gone. Kit saved her years before. Briarcliff is shut down however, and all is well.

Lana goes to visit Kit to find out what really happened to Jude. He visited her over time, and eventually brought her to his home. She helped with the children, and the children helped with her. Seeing the connections she makes with the children is a real tearjerker moment. She dies, as the Angel of Death comes to take her. She is ready to go. We find out that when Kit was about 40, he developed pancreatic cancer, and one day just disappeared. The aliens took back their experiment. Julia, his daughter, grows up to be a neurosurgeon, and Thomas his son becomes a Law professor.

Lana also confesses during the interview that the baby she said died in childbirth was still alive, and that she visited him as a child, but only once.

As for Cardinal Howard, during Lana’s expose on Briarcliff she finds the history of Dr Arden’s human experiments and tries to talk to Howard about the travesties. Distraught with guilt, he slits his wrists.

The interview ends and Lana tells Johnny he can come out of hiding. She knows who he is because some detectives visit her and ask her about some recent murders. However, she tells him she recognizes her “baby boy.” After threatening her with a gun, she convinces him to put the gun down. He will never live up to his father’s name. Because he isn’t evil. And it wasn’t Thredson’s fault. It was hers. And she shoots him in the head.

Cut back to the beginning of the series. Sister Jude tells Lana that if you stare into the face of evil, evil will stare back. Lana grins.

Lana’s own greed for recognition and pride for herself made her do some pretty terrible things to achieve.

So it’s all over. The end of Asylum. What are your thoughts? I thought that everything wrapped up pretty nicely at the end there, aside from some bumps and loose ends throughout the season. I genuinely cared for people I never thought I’d worry about.

The season may be over, but the series is far from done! A third season has been announced! Evan Peters, Sarah Paulson, Jessica Lange and Taissa Farmiga from season 1 have all signed on. Stay tuned, as I’ll be providing as many updates as I can throughout the year!

Lance Pollard’s Crack Whore is a classic female revenge flick ala Last House on the Left. The story goes like this. Honey is a crack whore. She bangs dudes for money and crack. Four desert scumbags pick her up, and after some drug use and dancing, rape her. She’s found by Boo, who cleans her up, does some more crack with her, and puts the idea in her head to get revenge on these guys by murdering them.

Let me say first that Mr. Pollard is by no means a bad director. Watching this film gave me a new perspective on indie film. I’ll get to that a little bit later though.

The writing for this movie is not good. A movie I reviewed a while back (She Devils A Go Go) had some of the same problems. Now I’m no screenwriter, but I can at least tell you that I’m not entertained when a film has jokes that fall flat. They don’t fall flat because they aren’t funny. They don’t work because they’re inside jokes. They don’t make sense to anyone other than the people telling them. Naturally, you aren’t trying to make your director or actors laugh. You’re appealing to an audience, and I for one just don’t get it.

The acting is sub par. But Matt! It’s an indie film! Give them a break! I am. I could say that there are no likeable characters, or that they don’t convey emotions properly. But I know this is indie filmmaking. There’s nothing wrong with some poor acting.

Let’s get down to the real problems. Crack Whore, to me, is a good concept. Pollard’s heart is absolutely in the right place. He wanted to make a revenge flick. A girl gets revenge on the guys who treated her like shit and left her for dead. And this would have been a great film if Pollard had decided to shoot it primarily as that. Instead, I watched six or seven psychedelic music videos spliced together with a loose story about smoking crack and the revenge of a hooker, and another story of four bumbling idiots and their quest for pussy. Now the idiots are the revengees in this story, and the music videos are the pointless segues between scenes. If we were watching six music videos, fine. If we were watching a revenge flick, fine. And if we were watching a comedy about these four guys trying to get laid, fine. But all of them mashed together just doesn’t work.

Usually indie films are the other way around. A brilliant script and good acting will take you a long way, but if your technical side is for shit, the movie won’t do well. Pollard knows what he’s doing. He’s got some amazing shots and his vision for scenes is near unmatched. If he just had a better script, I’d be all over his nuts like Honey on a crack rock.

Greetings, Brothers and Sisters of the Psychotronic Video World! Now, when it comes to mad scientists, certain names ring out more forcefully then others.  It seems like you can’t swing a reanimated cat without hitting a reimagining or homage to Dr. Victor Frankenstein, while Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde are never far from a retelling.  Even that rascal the Invisible Man has gotten more than his share of the love.  But today I’d like to talk about one of the absolute greats of mad science, a man who has never seemed to have gotten the attention he deserved and, at times, demanded.

I speak, of course, of Dr. Moreau.

Originating in H.G. Wells’ 1896 novel The Island of Dr. Moreau (identified by its author in later years as a piece of “youthful blasphemy”), Dr. Moreau was at one point a noted London physiologist, until his vivisectionist practices – that is, experimenting on live animals – came to light and resulted in a public outcry against him, driving him from his practice and his native England.  Setting up shop on an island in the south seas, Moreau would attract an assistant in the form of Montgomery, a man with similar scientific interests, and with Montgomery’s assistance Moreau begins experimenting on animals, trying to create men from beasts through surgery.  This practice would continue unopposed, with Moreau setting himself up as god to his beast-men, until the marooned Edward Prendricks arrives on the island.  Shortly thereafter, the beast-men begin to rebel against Moreau’s laws as their animal natures reassert themselves, ultimately killing Moreau and Montgomery.  Prendricks would soon thereafter escape back to civilization, though finding himself changed by his time on the island – humanity, to him, now constantly appears to be struggling on the edge of reversion to animal nature.

Astonishingly, this grisly tale has only been filmed a handful of times.  The first and, for my money, best adaptation was 1932′s THE ISLAND OF LOST SOULS, starring Charles Laughton as Dr. Moreau and featuring a heavily made-up Bela Lugosi as the Sayer of the Law, leader of the beast-men.  Laughton plays Moreau as a charming, baby-faced sociopath in a white suit with a whip on his belt, and is the high point of what is genuinely a solid, well-done horror film.  Ironically, H.G. Wells hated it for removing all the social commentary he’d filled the novel with and turning the story into a straight-up horror show.

Other than two Filipino films by director Eddie Romero (TERROR IS A MAN, 1959, and THE TWILIGHT PEOPLE, 1973) which borrowed elements from the story of Dr. Moreau, the silver screen did not see the good doctor again until 1977, when Burt Lancaster stepped into the role.  Lancaster’s Moreau is a more cold-blooded figure, murdering Montgomery for questioning his wisdom and trying to chemically revert Andrew Braddock (this version’s take on the Edward Prendricks character) into an animal.

Finally, in 1996, a film adaptation would come out incorporating the latest in genetic engineering and special effects technology…but mostly incorporating a morbidly obese, barely mobile Marlon Brando, slathered in sunscreen and draped in a muumuu (actually kind of resembling my girlfriend’s mother) as Dr. Moreau and Val Kilmer as the drug-addled Montgomery.  The make-up effects used to bring the “manimals” to life is impressive enough, and Ron Perlman makes a suitably stentorian Sayer of the Law, but overall this film is a flop, and one to be passed over.  What the hell is up with Moreau keeping what appears to be a flayed dwarf version of himself around?

And that’s it.  For every 200 hundred Frankensteins and 150 Jekylls, we get three Moreaus.  And that hardly seems fair to me.  Moreau is at least as mad as Victor Frankenstein and Henry Jekyll, possibly moreso, and lacking in the sympathy they engender.  He’s a far more menacing figure in his sociopathy, more akin to the Invisible Man than Frankenstein or Jekyll in his disregard for ethics and morality.  As medical science and biotechnology improves and expands, it is also perhaps more likely that we’ll need a refresher in avoiding Moreau’s hubris then we will that of Frankenstein.

Greetings to all of the sicko’s out there checking out our little sight. A slew of news items has strolled through the office (and by office I mean Wes’s IPad) so I bring you a special edition of the Weekly Bloodlines! So let’s get too it.

First up is a press release on the latest and greatest from Tempe Video and Tomcat Releasing!  Check it out.

NEW PRODUCT ANNOUNCEMENTS – FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE!

AGENT BEETLE (DVD)
UPC #822928050390 / $19.99 SRP
Street Date: April 30, 2013

A rookie cop goes undercover at a drug company and poses as a criminal in order to get the information on a program that gives convicted felons superpowers. With his reporter ex-girlfriend on his trail, he must use his newly acquired powers to stop the program and bring its powerful convicts to justice!

ATTACK OF THE JURASSIC SHARK (DVD)
UPC #822928050499 / $19.99 SRP
Street Date: May 28, 2013

When an oil company unwittingly unleashes a prehistoric shark from its icy prison, the Jurassic killer maroons a group of art thieves and a group of beautiful young college students on an abandoned piece of land. The two opposing groups are forced to do what they can to survive or become food for the not-quite-extinct shark!

BATH SALT ZOMBIES Premiere Screening Event  -  February 6th  -  7pm to 10pm Trocadero Balcony (1003 Arch Street – Philadelphia)   with special performance by COMBAT CRISIS $8 admission includes free download card of killer punk rock soundtrack featuring: The Dwarves, The Meatmen, ANTiSEEN, The Murder Junkies + more! Balt Salt Zombies is simply a creative and chaotic caper from a pretty prolific artist coming into his own.  –  Patrick Dolan, RUE MORGUE

Bath Salt Zombies is a new horror film directed and co-written by Dustin Wayde Mills(Puppet Monster Massacre, Zombie A-Hole,Ballad of Skinless Pete) and produced and co-written by Clint Weiler of Aggronautix. The movie sensationalizes the recent bath salt epidemic and the attacks surrounding them. It will be released on DVD by MVD Entertainment Group on February 19. “Although the film is somewhat of a black comedy, I wanted to portray the real power of drugs in a horror story… Dustin was able to pull it off with ease,” said Weiler who wrote the treatment for the film and worked on the basic characterization. “It’s off the wall comic book insanity with blood, gore, nudity, martial arts, gunfights, and a mutant jack-chi,” said Mills. “You should check your brain at the door and prepare to have your face melted off.”   SYNOPSIS: Present day, United States… The bath salts epidemic facing the southern and mid-western US has been stifled by an unprecedented government crackdown. Head shops have been raided and shut down, component imports from the UK, India and China have been completely stopped, and aggressive penalties for users have been instated. This has led to a tremendous amount of surplus stock hidden by black market dealers, and a migration of those dealers (and in turn, users) to the northeast and other areas. In New York City, potent strands have surfaced and have attracted the most devoted bath salt junkies. In an attempt to outsell said strands, a young aspiring chemist has developed and even stronger batch… but something has gone horribly wrong. The new ultra potent bath salt batch has revealed a major side effect… It turns users into violent flesh seeking “zombies.” When the zombies are high on balt salts, they are completely unaware of their actions and they seem to float in and out of consciousness. When they kill / eat people, they are unaware of what has happened when they come down off the drug. The drug is also more addictive than other forms, and users feel the need to stay constantly high due to the fact they become incredibly feeble when sober. They come down HARD. FACTS ABOUT THE BATH SALT EPIDEMIC: Traditional “bath salts” consist of a combination of amphetamine-like chemicals, mainly mephedrone, MDPV and methylone. Users of the drug have reported feeling incredibly hot, which is why many get naked (in this case, it gives us cause for female nudity). They also develop superhuman strength (it can take five or six men to restrain them) and become so manic and delusional that the term “excited delirium” is being used by the medical community to describe their mental state. The shocking wave of attacks has sparked fears of a real-life zombie outbreak in the south. This led to The Center for Disease Control and Prevention releasing a statement saying it is not aware of any virus that can cause zombie-like behavior. A spokesman said: “MDPV is an illegal and harmful drug and stiff penalties are in place for people who possess or supply it. Drugs ruin lives which is why we are taking tough action against dealers and criminal gangs and helping people to free themselves from the cycle of dependency.”   STARRING: Brandon Salkil, Josh Eal, Ethan Holey, Dave Parker, Jackie McKown, and more.   SOUNDTRACK:   World War IX - Bath Salt Zombies   The Dwarves - We Only Came To Get High The Meatmen - Men, Meat and Fire    ANTiSEEN - One Shot, One Kill   Murder Junkies - Dopesick   World War IX - Bender Royale   Combat Crisis - Beating Post   American Speedway - Unreasonable Things   BugGiRL - Blood, Sweat, & Beers   The Gaggers - Hostage   Pre-order:  http://www.bathsaltzombies.com/

Big Talk Productions are debuting their latest thriller In Fear this week at the Sundance Film Festival, and the official poster is now available for your viewing pleasure above.  Little is known about the film, but the synopsis courtesy of IMDB states, “Driving, lost and tormented in the night, primal fears of the dark and the unknown give way to fear that you have let the evil in, or that it is already there.”  More on this film as we get it!

Next up is a press release on the apocalyptic thriller Earth’s Final Hours coming to DVD and Blu-ray in April from Anchor Bay Entertainment!  Check out the trailer above!

January 15, 2013

Dear Journalist:

Where will you be at the end?

On April 2^nd, Anchor Bay Entertainment releases the end of the world thriller Earth’s Final Hours on Blu-ray™ and DVD. When dense matter from an imploded white hole threatens our planet, a group of government agents are the only ones who can save the world from a new ice age. This wild tale of natural disaster debuted on the Syfy channel last year and stars Hamza Adams (“Sanctuary”), Julia Benson (“SGU Stargate Universe”), Cameron Bright (Twilight Saga: New Moon, Twilight Saga: Eclipse) and Sage Brocklebank (“Psych”). The SRP for the Blu-ray™ is $24.99 and $19.98 for DVD. The pre-book is March 6^th.

When bizarre radiation storms suddenly erupt, defense systems are wiped out, polar outposts are incinerated and space debris blasts holes clear through our planet. Now a tough federal, a cool government scientist and his rebel genius son have uncovered a magnetospheric nightmare that could stop the Earth’s rotation. Do a disgraced inventor and an archaic satellite hold the sole keys to our survival, or is the clock ticking towards the annihilation of mankind?

Directed by David Hogan (Behemoth) Earth’s Final Hours is an intense apocalyptic shocker that will leave you shaking and looking to the skies.

More Anchor Bay goodness as they debut Shadow People on DVD and Blu-ray in March. Official press release below, trailer above!

From the Academy-Award® nominated producers of

Capote and The Devil’s Rejects

ANCHOR BAY ENTERTAINMENT

UNVEILS

SHADOW PEOPLE

Pray for insomnia! All will be revealed March 19^th on Blu-ray™ and DVD

BEVERLY HILLS, CA – They are known by many names in many cultures. In Persia they are called “Bakhtak.” In Japan, they are the “Kanashibari.” In Mexico they’re called the “Subirse el Muerto” and the “Suk Ninmyo” in New Guinea. In America, they are known as “Shadow People.” They are very real, yet no one who has seen them have lived to describe them. Are you willing to believe? Victims report waking from sleep to find themselves paralyzed, a noise buzzing in their head, while a shadowy figure stands watches them, or sometimes even climbs onto their bed. The sightings are widespread around the globe for centuries, but many are afraid to talk about their encounters. According to experts, these appearances may be tied to a medical mystery of unexplained nocturnal deaths.

Anchor Bay Films presents the March 19^th Blu-ray™ and DVD release of the supernatural thriller, Shadow People. Starring Dallas Roberts (“The Walking Dead,” The Grey, “Rubicon”), Alison Eastwood (Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, Tightrope), Anne Dudek (“Mad Men,” White Chicks, 10 Items or Less), and Mattie Liptak (Quarantine 2, The Candy Shop), Shadow People promises an unforgettable glimpse into a netherworld perhaps too perilously close to ours! SRP is $24.99 for the Blu-ray™ and $22.98 for the DVD, with pre-book on February 19.

Shadow People is based on a true story about small town radio personality Charlie Crowe (Roberts)  who unravels a conspiracy about encounters with mysterious beings. These “Shadow People” were the cause of hundreds of unexplained deaths.  He encounters CDC Epidemic Intelligence Agent Sophie Lancombe (Eastwood), whose investigations entwine her with Charlie’s own discoveries leading them both into a dark world and a decades old cover-up.

The film explores the actual historical evidence of SUNDS and the real phenomenon of an inverse placebo effect, where the mind can actually kill the body through false belief. The film is backed up by real archival footage of a suspected outbreak of SUNDS, which occurred in rural Kentucky, and takes the found footage genre to a new level by intercutting the story with the actual interviews of the real-life participants, local news footage and radio clips from the event.

Next up in the Anchor Bay hat trick of press releases is Ultramarines: A Warhammer 40,000 Movie.  Fans of the video game should be excited to know that the DVD and Blu-ray will be here this March!

Trashology landed here at the homestead right around the time the my daughter was being born AND the dreaded holiday slowdown set in.  So, it only seemed fair that we start off 2013 with it.  The good news? It was worth the wait!  Trashology is the type of dirty minded clusterfuck that makes me get out of bed every morning.

This independent anthology is woven together by the story of Tracy.  Tracy is a college student who’s busy at work on a college assignment.  Research on the project leads to Tracy’s discovery of 3 stories that are spun together: The Vat, Big Debbie, and Inglorious Bitches.

The Vat tells is a tale of 3 women, one of whom happens to be a bible-thumping reactionist.   Her incessant attacks on their secular life choices reaches a fever pitch, and violence is threatened.  This leads to a finale that has to be seen to be believed.  The Vat is followed by Big Debbie, which tells the tale of a woman left at the altar.  In her misery, she’s falls in with 2 men who make a sex slave of her.  Following the death of one of the men, Debbie and her cohort are forced to get rid of the body…but they’re caught in the act.  As a means to maintain their “innocence”, the witness blackmails the pair into killing off her unfaithful girlfriend.  Inglorious Bitches rounds out the trio and keeps up the weird as well.  2 women set on doing some vigilante recon work do just that.  The task at hand is simple:  They utilize a cell phone app that allows the pair to track down sex offenders and kill them.

Where do I start with Trashology?  It’s one of those films that you’re almost forced to fall in love with because it comes from such a genuine place.  A movie like this isn’t loved for its technical achievements.  There are none.  In fact, while we’re on the topic of technical issues, I’d like to get that portion of the review out of the way. THIS IS NOT A TECHNICALLY EFFICIENT FILMGOING EXPERIENCE!  It suffers from the usual micro-budget trappings of lighting issues, it’s not shot on a high grade format, and their are some audio faux pas that leave a bit to be desired.  This makes a handful of scenes hit unnecessary highs and lows from a technological perspective.  Here’s the thing:  That’s not why you would watch a movie like Trashology to begin with.  That’s not why I watched Trashology!  You watch a movie like this because it’s filled with every oddball extreme one could possibly think of.  If that formula sounds familiar, it’s because it is.  Writer/Director Brian Dorton certainly evoked the spirit of a early John Waters while conjuring up the concepts that would become Trashology.  In fact, this film could be seen as a love letter to Waters’ early films and the effect they’re still having on young filmmakers.  I can’t say for sure, of course, but I think that was the point here.  When a filmmaker and his band of weirdoes don’t have a lot of money at their disposal, they must rely on their own wit and ingenuity…and that’s exactly what happens here.  Dorton and Co. aren’t working with millions.  They’ve created this movie on a shoe string budget and it does show-that’s not to be taken as an insult, however.  With that mentality, you’re afforded a certain level of freedom that you won’t find amongst the movies filling the racks of your local big box retailer.  Instead, Trashology functions as a film knowing precisely what it is and doesn’t hold back.  You won’t find a single character in this film who doesn’t work well outside the boundaries of normal human behavior.  Everyone is a lunatic and therein lies the appeal of a movie like Trashology.  It’s also what has drawn people to filmmakers like Waters, the Kuchar Bros., Harmony Korine, and the like: The inherent ability to make the most insane concepts endearing.  Dorton delivers on that concept and as a result makes a good ol’ fashioned sleazy exploitation flick.

Trashology is a lot of fun.  It’s a fairy tale made up of truckstop-quality drag queens, religious lunatics, absurd sexual fetishes, pudding, and everything in between.  This is a group of friends having a great time and making some strange art.  If that’s not the beating pulse of indie film, then I don’t know what is.  If you fancy yourself a fan of the aforementioned filmmakers, consider Trashology in your wheelhouse.

It’s a new year which means new reviews!  First up on the chopping block is indie slasher/revenge film I Spill Your Guts!

I Spill Your Guts is the tale of Dennis and Joe.  They are old friends who both sign up to go overseas to fight in Afghanistan.  While on a routine mission the two come under heavy enemy fire.  Joe immediately freaks out, and is only saved when Dennis stands in front of a bullet for him.  Unfortunately, military doctors give Dennis only a few hours to live.  When Joe tells Dennis’s comatose body that he took all the credit and is being shipped home early with hero honors, Dennis gets a new will to live.  But not only does he want to live, he wants Joe and everyone close to him to die.

What can I say about I Spill Your Guts?  Director James Balsamo definitely has a very good idea for a movie in mind, and I was really looking forward to watching it.  This is the type of movie I like to call a “Wasteland Movie” because if I were watching it in a crowded room full of half liquored up horror fans it would be hilarious and a grand time.  Unfortunately, I was watching the movie at home alone, and it felt much lamer than I expected.

Most of the issues I had with the movie are issues that I have on other no budget slasher movies as well, lack of character development and blaring death metal soundtrack.  I love slasher flicks, and the original ways people can come up with to kill characters, but if I don’t know a single person’s name or care about them it takes a ton of the enjoyment out of the experience.  High body counts are great, but I need a little meat on them bones too.  Mix in this issue with a loud, obnoxious death metal soundtrack, and all of the kills that I am ready to enjoy become lame filler as I wait too get back to the main story.  I’m sure there is a market out there that love the combination of high body count with loud metal music, but it’s not me.

I was also disappointed in the fact that the movie was called I Spill Your Guts and advertises that it’s unrated, but most of the kills were done off camera.  I understand it’s a low budget movie, and effects cost money to pull off, but I felt a little gypped.   One final minor issue is the large number of guest spots featuring the likes of Lloyd Kaufman, Lynn Lowry, Balls Mahoney, and Andrew W.K.  I have no issues with guest spots, and I am a fan of everyone that was added to the movie, but I would think some of the extra cash that probably went into adding names could have gone to better use on those kills I mentioned.

I will say that I Spill Your Guts has a lot of heart in it and James Balsamo has a lot of good ideas and a bright future if he continues to make movies.  I didn’t want it to sound like I hated the movie, just that I was disappointed in the execution.  But what do I know?  I have never made a movie.  Watch it for yourself and prove me wrong.  I Spill Your Guts is out now on DVD from Acid Bath Productions.

Greetings Bloodsprayer readers. Welcome back to Weekly Bloodlines, my version of a weekly news wrap up column. Let’s get right too it…

The top story this week has to be the theatrical release of Mama, the directorial debut of Andres Muschietti that is being hyped and produced by the one and only Guillermo Del Toro.  I have to opinion on the movie, but I am hopeful to see it sometime this week as it looks creepy (and I love me some Del Toro flix).  Early estimates have this way above predictions, possibly bringing home $33 million dollars over the MLK holiday weekend which would be a nice win for horror.  For those of you that have not seen the original short Mama is based off of, check it out.  Creepy stuff!

Fans of The Evil Dead have been dying to see the original 8mm short Within the Woods that Sam Raimi and friends originally shot to help raise money for what would be a horror classic.  While I’ve seen bootleg copies at horror cons for years, I’ve never actually bought one hoping we’d some day get an official release.  Well, while still patiently waiting for an official release (probably as an extra) I did stumble upon it on Youtube!  No idea how official it is, but definitely worth a look!

News hit this week that Lionsgate studios is looking to start up a micro-budgeted branch primarily looking at horror and comedy films.  Word is they are looking at movies with a budget of around $2.5 million.  I don’t know about you, but that’s not exactly micro-budget.  Give some of the talented directors we’ve covered here on the Bloodsprayer $2.5 million and we’d see some real movie magic.

Speaking of micro-budget horror, director Todd E. Freeman posted on Facebook the first teaser poster for Cell Count 2!  Cell Count was a pleasant surprise for me last year (check out the review here) and is currently available to rent or buy on demand.  Put Cell Count 2 on my must see list for 2013, and keep an eye out for any new news as it becomes available!

On the new release front, two more micro-budgeted flicks that I adored last year are finally going to be available for all to enjoy!  Henrique Couto’s Bleeding Through (review here) and Dustin Mill’s Night of the Tentacles (review here) are both going to finally be available on DVD at all respectable online suppliers and hopefully a few retail stores if there are any left.  Both directors are also hard at work on new features that we will continue to keep you updated on as well.

Also of note this week is Scream Factory’s DVD and Blu-ray release of Wes Craven’s Deadly Blessing! Scream Factory has been a strong addition to the horror genre, and 2013 is already looking pretty stacked in releases!

Not much on the television end of things this week.  Wednesday night brings us the conclusion to Season Two of American Horror Story, and a few tidbits for next years all new tale began to drop.  Creator Ryan Murphy is said to be looking to move next years story in a direction that’s a little “funnier” and may include a “horror romance”.  While there’s no doubt Season Two was much darker and grittier than Season One, I am curious to see exactly where the show ends up going.  He did confirm the returns of the fantastic Jessica Lange, Sarah Paulson, and Evan Peters so that is definitely something to be excited for!

Finally, while not exactly a horror show, Fox is debuting the highly hyped The Following tomorrow night.  Created by Kevin Williamson (Scream franchise) and staring one of Jason Voorhees original victims Kevin Bacon, the show is about a serial killer who is communicating with a cult of other serial killers.  Rumor is that the show is pretty violent, so sign me up!

That’s it for this week!  Any news or opinions, please hit me up at mattbloodsprayer@gmail.com.  Till next week…..

ANCHOR BAY ENTERTAINMENT PRESENTS THE NEXT EVOLUTION IN HORROR CINEMA

MIMESIS

Turning the classic horror film NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD
into a real life nightmare February 12th on Blu-ray™ and DVD

Why watch a horror film when you can live one?

For over a century, fans have had their blood curdled and spins chilled by the vicarious thrills of horror films. Whether populated by ghouls, slashers, zombies or vampires, fans flocked to have their pulse quickened and exercise their scream-generating skills. But one thing remained constant: eventually the story ended, because it was only a movie. What if it didn’t have to end? What if the next level of horror was to experience a horror film from the inside?

*Mimesis, as defined by Merriam Webster Dictionary: “imitation, mimicry.”

In the film, a group of horror fans find themselves unwilling participants in a living nightmare that pays homage to a classic horror film. Seven complete strangers whose only common link is a love for classic era horror films are invited to attend an exclusive “horror fan” party at a remote farm. But as the sun sets, these strangers soon find themselves within a real life version of the 1968 George Romero cult horror classic Night of the Living Dead!

Far too much information, and a whole lot of boobie suckling on these two episodes!

Episode 11

Grace and Kit are happy with their new baby. Kit asks about how the baby grew so fast. Turns out time goes a lot differently “up there.” Grace tells Kit that Alma is dead, and he proposes to her. The Monsignor has the baby taken away however, when it is realized that two mental patients cannot raise a child.

Mother Claudia helps Lana escape from the asylum with her patient file and the taped confession of Thredson. She later goes to his home and waits for him. The last thing she wants from him is to know what he did with Wendy’s body. While describing it, he also states that he’ll never go to prison because he’ll just plead insanity. As he reaches for the gun in his drawer, she shoots him, killing him.

Jude / Judy causes a commotion, telling all the other patients not to take their medications. She no longer respects the Monsignor, since, well, he was TOTALLY okay with having the devil under his employment.

Kit gets to leave, since the taped confession of Thredson has gotten to the police. He convinces the Monsignor to let Grace leave, telling him that technically, she’s dead. Arden signed the paperwork and everything. They arrive at Kit’s home to find Alma, alive and well, and holding another baby.

Lana cannot go through with an abortion for her rape-baby. Reluctantly, she nurses the crying child in the hospital. Also, when she returns to Briarcliff to free Jude, she is told that Jude hanged herself. She didn’t though. She’s just hanging out in solitary.

Oh yeah, and modern day Bloody Face, Johnny, definitely has some mommy issues.

Episode 12

Before he leaves Briarcliff, the Monsignor tells Jude that he has wronged her, and will get her out. He’s been appointed Cardinal of New York.

Kit’s dealing with having two wives and two babies. Not for long though. Alma kills Grace with an axe.

Briarcliff is going to be used as an overflow for the local prison. A woman who looks a lot like the Angel of Death is Jude’s roommate. After one particular attack however, it is shown that she was just hallucinating. She’s gone through 5 roommates in the last two years. But the Angel of Death was only there for a few days? Nope. It’s been two and a half years since the Monsignor told Jude he’d get her out. Pepper’s dead. And the Monsignor has fallen through on his promise.

Lana is doing book signings for her book about her ordeal with Thredson. She imagines both Thredson and Wendy accusing her of lying to sell more books. Kit comes forward for the book signing, and tells her of all the bad things that have happened. The truth about Jude. Alma’s death in the asylum. The overall decline of Briarcliff. And even though he hopes this will help her to get Briarcliff shut down, it doesn’t work.

And Johnny is trying to find a copy of his mother’s book. To fulfill his father’s legacy and kill his mother.

So what are everyone’s opinions on the lead up to the finale? Personally, I’m not as much of a fan of this season as the first. The pacing is difficult. Everything seems much more rushed at the end here. I still love the characters. Falchuk and Murphy really know how to make a villain. Can they wrap everything up proper though? Stay tuned.

And a belated Happy New Year to you all! The Bloodsprayer has been working through some technical issues lately, but we are finally up and running again! With that in mind, I want to introduce you all to a new weekly column I had in mind, Weekly Bloodlines!  Unfortunately, we don’t have the manpower, time, nor the tools to run the site like a horror movie CNN, but that doesn’t mean we love horror any less than the big guys.  With that in mind, I am hoping to round up some of the horror news and notes that interest us the most, and place them in one convenient spot.

Our top headline so far this year no doubt has to be the return of Leatherface in Texas Chainsaw 3D.  The movie was released on Jan. 4th, and was the #1 movie in the country opening weekend with just under $22 million taken in at the box office.  Well, it now appears that the chain has come loose on the “sequel” as it has dropped to 9th place this weekend taking in a paltry $5.15 million.  Rumor is that Leatherface has still done enough damage that Lionsgate is at least in talks of another chapter sometime in the future.

The trailer for The Last Exorcism Part 2 was let loose on the public as well!  I’m hopeful that this will be one to head out to theaters for when it comes out March 1st.

While horror continues to struggle at the box office it is taking over the airwaves on your boob tube, and Dexter is no doubt one of the biggest genre hits out!  Rumors that the upcoming Season 8 may be it’s last have been floating around for awhile, but a final decision has yet to be announced.  What has been announced though, is that the Season 8 premiere has been moved up from it’s normal September spot to June 30th on Showtime!

Also announced this week is the debut date for Stephen King’s Under the Dome on CBS.  The post-apolcolyptic drama will debut on June 24th!  Look for the official teaser trailer to be released during something called The Super Bowl.

April 19th will be the premiere date for Eli Roth’s new series Hemlock Grove.  The Netflix exclusive program will drop all 13 episodes on day 1.  This one has been very high on my must see list this year!

Also this week is Syfy premiere week, and they are offering a handful of genre related programming.  Tonight kicks off a Monday night triple-header of science fiction and monster shows with the debut of Continuum, followed by the Season 3 premieres of both Being Human (which is a guilty pleasure of mine, though I prefer the UK original) and Lost Girl.  Tomorrow premieres another of my favorites, the makeup reality program Face/Off!  Finally Wednesday goes all paranormal on your ass with the return of Ghost Hunters and another debut, Ghost Mine.

A trailer for the BBC America thriller Ripper Street was also released.  Look for the new crime drama on Saturday, January 19th!

Finally on the television front this week was the dropping of an awesome new poster hyping the return of The Walking Dead this February!

Speaking of The Walking Dead (and transitioning to our final destination) the upcoming first person shooter The Walking Dead: Survival Instinct from Activision will finally hit shelves on March 26th.  Not to be confused with the fantastic digital game that is already out from Telltale Games, Survival Instinct allows you to play as Daryl and Merle in their adventures before meeting up with Rick and the rest of the group outside Atlanta.  Unfortunately, it looks pretty mediocre at best, but judge for yourself.

Also of note for you video game freaks out there (myself included) is this weeks debut of DMC: Devil May Cry.  While not the most horrorific game on the market, there are usually a number of fantastic monsters to hack and slash through so I thought it was worth mentioning.

And that concludes my first Weekly Bloodlines.  Please let me know what you think, what it’s missing.  I realize this week was very television heavy, but it was a good week for horror on television.  Any ideas, comments, or news items to share, please hit me up at mattbloodsprayer@gmail.com.  Till next week….

Never have my emotions have been toyed with as much as with this week’s American Horror Story: Asylum!

I’m having a bit of trouble going through things in the order they happened, so we’ll go with more character centric descriptions.

The Monsignor is alive! Hooray! Turns out the Angel of Death could not take him. He had more work to do. He must cast out the Devil from Mary Eunice. She ends up raping him. Eventually, he overcomes her in a moment of clarity. Mary Eunice, not Satan, breaks through for a moment, and the Monsignor throws her from the third floor, killing her. The Angel of Death gives her the kiss, stating that she’s releasing them both, the Devil and Mary Eunice.

Grace is back, and Pepper is in charge of her. Pepper belittles Arden a bit, telling him that he cannot do anything to harm Grace. She’s protected. Grace gives birth.

Dr. Thredson has been given a full time position at the asylum. Attempting to get the taped confession from Kit, he threatens Grace and the baby. However, Lana has already moved the location of the tape to not only protect herself and Thredson’s baby, but also to protect Kit.

To wrap it all up, Jude, who has been electroshock therapy’d, has lost about the last 2 months of her memory. She talks to the Mother Superior to tell her to save Lana. She tells her that it’s her fault that she’s there.

Arden decides that the best way to get rid of Mary Eunice’s body is by cremation. The devil has penetrated every cell of her body and it must be destroyed. As he starts up the furnace, he climbs on top of her, and rides it in with her.

So Mary Eunice and Arden are dead. Well, at least they’re burned up. Jude is almost completely brain dead. Kit and Grace are with child. And Lana has everything going for her.

Do you think Mary Eunice’s body is really going to be destroyed? Who else felt bad for Arden? And will the Monsignor ever become Pope?!

We’ve been unable to post for a little while. Hopefully this is the first of many many articles to come!

“4 out of 4 Stars” -Horror Bid

IMAGE ENTERTAINMENT PRESENTS

NOBODY GETS OUT ALIVE

A TALE OF MURDER, MYTH, AND REVENGE

On DVD and Digital Download February 26^th

CHATSWORTH, CA – Image Entertainment announces the release of the bone-chilling revenge thriller Nobody Gets Out Alive. Written and directed by Jason Christopher and starring Shaun Paul Costello, Chelsey Garner, Brian Gallagher and veteran character actor Clint Howard (Austin Powers, How The Grinch Stole Christmas, Apollo 13), Nobody Gets Out Alive takes viewers into the dark heart of myths …where history turns into homicide! SRP is $27.97, with pre-book on January 29^th.

The film charts the tragic path of Hunter Isth (Gallagher), whose life is turned upside down when his young daughter is killed by a drunk driver. In mourning, depressed and angry, Hunter disappears and is rumored to have moved away from Braiden Woods. As years go by, Hunter and his devastating story evolve into a local legend, a myth that many consider to be just that, until a group of partying teenagers accidentally find themselves trapped in a brutal fight for survival… with a legend bent on vengeance!

Hailed as “an homage to some of the great slasher films of the 70s and 80s” by DreadCentral, Nobody Gets Out Alive has terrified audiences at film festivals around the country including Shock Fest, Horror Quest and the World Horror Film Festival, earning such accolades as Best Feature, Best Director and Best Actor. The DVD will also feature audio commentary, a “making of” retrospect, outtakes and a Hello Cleveland music video for “Lost Here Forever.”

Sounds right up my alley! Check it out February 26th!

I know most of us over here at The Blood Sprayer are super excited for this, what do you think?

Magnet Releasing will release JOHN DIES AT THE END through Magnet On-Demand December 27, 2012 and in theaters January 25, 2013.

In JOHN DIES AT THE END, it¹s all about the Soy Sauce, a drug that promises an out-of-body experience with each hit. Users drift across time and dimensions. But some who come back are no longer human. Suddenly a silent otherworldly invasion is underway, and mankind needs a hero. What it gets instead is John (Rob Mayes)and David (Chase Williamson), a pair of college dropouts who can barely hold down jobs. Can these two stop the oncoming horror in time to save humanity? No. No, they can’t.

Adapted from David Wong’s audacious trans-genre horror novel, JOHN DIES AT THE END is written and directed by Don Coscarelli (BUBBA HO-TEP) and also stars Clancy Brown, Glynn Turman and Paul Giamatti.

https://www.facebook.com/HATECRIME2012

“A Jewish family, just arrived in a new neighborhood, are recording their youngest son’s birthday celebrations on video when their home is suddenly invaded by a bunch of crystal-meth-crazed neo-nazi lunatics… ”

An indie flick with a cause.

www.killforher.com – www.facebook.com/killforher – www.twitter.com/killforher

“Jake is a troubled young man. Hiding in shadows, surrounded by an addiction he doesn’t fully understand. Walking through the pain of a broken childhood, choosing to listen to the screaming little boy living in his soul rather than the level headed man he should have grown to be. ‘Kill for Her’ focuses on choices made, and not made, when they can impact your life the most.

What life lessons must one learn to be able to paint right from wrong clearly? What you see isn’t always what you get. Or is it?”

Kyle was a great person.

A kind , intelligent, and creative person. Kyle loved watching the stars. Kyle loved the colors Black and Red. Kyle loved the television show ‘Lost’. Kyle loved cooking. Kyle loved discussing films, scripts, and everything cinema.

He attended film school to follow his forever dream of becoming a director. Kyle would spend countless hours writing amazing scripts, and making wonderful shorts. He always dreamt of working with his filmmaking idols.

Kyle had also battled depression. He spent his life seeing therapists, taking medication, and trying to control the demon inside him that screamed ‘your not good enough’. He attempted to take his life once – recovered – and we all thought he was on the right track to happiness.

We were fooled.

On April 6th, 2011 Kyle Linford committed suicide.

He left behind a mother, father, sister, dog – friends, extended family and co-workers. Also, many scripts. Many amazing scripts. One of which, was ‘Kill for Her’. In Kyle’s suicide note to his best friend and director Eric Protiva, he gave Eric his blessing to go ahead with the films. Kyle trusted Eric. Eric put the right cast and crew together, and got this ball rolling!

If we can make a good film #InKylesMemory and save some lives by sharing Kyle’s story – and some of ours – we have done our part.

Rest in Peace, Kyle. #STOPSUICIDE.

Donations Account

We have a donations account open! We’re trying to raise money to send this film to festivals #InKylesMemory and of course, raise awareness anywhere we go to #StopSuicide!

We ask that you share with your viewers, readers, listeners our story – and ask that anything they can donate, anything at all, if it’s $1 or $10, it will help us sent this film to festivals and make Kyle’s forever dream of being a successful filmmaker come true in the only way we can make that happen for him!

The link is directly on our website, www.killforher.com

From cast and crew, and Kyle’s family as well! To keep track of our progress, with premiere dates and such more into 2013, please visit www.killforher.com and follow us on all our social media accounts!

Shooting will begin January 26th, 2013.

Hope you’re wearing your adult diapers, because this episode gets real intense, real quick.

Setting: A psychologist’s office. A woman psychologist is talking to a man off screen about his “urges” and how to cure them with post-hypnotic suggestion. It’s Dylan McDermott, from the last season of AHS, and he’s the modern day Bloody Face. The son of Dr. Thredson. So what does that imply?

Back to the 60s. Sister Jude is now just Judy. An inmate at the asylum. The Monsignor, Sister Satan, and the good Doctor, as well as the inmate Jude stabbed, Lee Emerson, all give their accounts of what happened leading up to her incarceration to some reporters. It all pieces together.

Emerson, now on the path to righteousness, is approached by the Monsignor to be baptized. As his own miracle. Emerson agrees, only to knock out the Monsignor and crucify him. The Angel of Death approaches, but we do not see the kiss.

Lana finds out that she’s pregnant. Kit and Lana get Thredson to confess on tape to all the skinnings by threatening the baby in front of him. She has already gone the old Coat Hanger Method and removed that rape baby out of herself. She thinks she has succeeded, but Sister Mary Eunice hears the heartbeat by putting her head on her stomach. Better yet, it’s a baby Bloody Faced boy.

Arden approaches Kit with an experiment. He claims that Kit is the aliens’ test subject. He had sex with both Alma and Grace right before they were taken. So since Kit is their experiment, they would protect him. “Hey Kit, do you mind if I ALMOST kill you?” That’s the way to get them to return. So he does. The loud noises and flashing lights return. So does Pepper. So does Grace. And not only can Pepper speak eloquently, Grace is very much alive. And pregnant as shit.

So after you clean the poop out of your pants after watching this episode, tell me what you think! Dylan McDermott is Bloody Face. Grace is alive and pregnant. Thredson has escaped again. The show doesn’t return until January 2nd, so you have plenty of time to comment either here, or on The Blood Sprayer’s Facebook page!

Here’s a teaser to keep you occupied for a little while until the new episode!

I watched a lot of movies this year.   Some of them were really shitty.  These were not.
 1. Excision (Anchor Bay Films)- Oh, c’mon!  You’re not at all surprised this is my #1 with a bullet! This year’s winner for me, hands down.  I’ve found myself quite smitten with Excision since the very first glimpse I got at the poster.  The trailer only furthered that intense compulsion to see the movie.  I’m on repeat viewings and I have yet to tire of it.  Richard Bates Jr. is an immensely talented writer and director who has catapulted himself into the favor of many-a horror fan’s hearts.  I am definitely one of those fans.  This movie continuously puts a smile on my face…it’ll do the same for you.
 2. Dear God No! (Big World Pictures)-The indie horror circuit was dealt a hand of awesome when these Georgia based lunatics decided to bring their fucked up ideas to life.  Dear God No! is every insane concept the drive-in universe ever birthed into existence.  The movie is made better knowing that these fellas live and breathe it.  James Bickert and his gang are the real deal.  DGN! had our staff tight in the pants and I suspect they will continue to do so with the rest of the sleaze lovers the world over.
 3. Beyond The Black Rainbow (Magnet Releasing)-I was so enamored with this movie that I had no feasible words to properly review it with.  Literally…I didn’t know which angle to take in order to review it!  It’s this fascinating visual pig-out that just sort of left me spellbound and dumbfounded.  Writer/Director Panos Cosmatos constructed a freakish, otherworldly drug dream that calls to mind early Cronenberg, fucked up cartoons, primitive video games and just when you think it’s going to zig, it zags long enough to cut your throat.  Combining the best visuals I’d seen all year with Jeremy Schmidt’s (of Canadian rockers Black Mountain) FLAWLESS score, BTBR transcends genre definitions and fast tracks itself to cult legacy.  I reckon this one will be playing at the Alamo Drafthouses of the world for years to come.
4. The Theatre Bizarre (Severin Films)-While I would’ve been best-suited to view this anthology in the most objective manner possible,  my fanboy bias interfered.  I love all parties involved with this project.  Loads of transgressive film outlaws pooling their morbid ideas into a big fat batch of evil-plain & simple.  Everyone from Richard Stanley to Douglas Buck offers up a sacrifice to the horror gods for this one.  As each piece unfolds, things get more and more gruesome AND as a result,  more entertaining to watch.  Our host for the events is the always weird Udo Kier who enacts this odd Grande Guignol-styled performance that is classically his own.  I saw several lukewarm reviews of this one that had me scratching my head.  Horror is a vast landscape and the contributors to this one are some the standouts in their field.
 5. Lovely Molly (Image Entertainment)-If Eduardo Sanchez had followed up Blair Witch Project with Lovely Molly,  he very well would be atop the horror mountain today.  But no matter what lackluster films have come between his explosive debut and present day, he still constructed a truly creepy movie.  In a fashion that appears to be his “thing”, Sanchez constructs a story of historical evil that seeks out a weakened soul and it exploits its every fiber.  This film intersects at Winter’s Bone and Session 9 to deliver an out & out scary movie.  It turns down roads one wouldn’t expect, balances character development evenly with fright, and ends up accomplishing the rare feat of appealing to both the casual horror fan and seasoned horror lovers alike.
6. Last Days Here ( Sundance Selects)-as we often discover, the horrors of reality are far worse than anything one’s imagination could ever dream of conjuring up.  Last Days Here is a documentary revealing the life of Pentagram frontman and founder, Bobby Liebling.  As a quick explanation for those of you not familiar with Bobby or his musical career, Pentagram’s influence on the heavy music underground is unmatched.  As Black Sabbath is to heavy metal, Pentagram is to doom metal/stoner rock/occult rock.  The main difference?  Sabbath made it…Pentagram always fell short.  Riddled by an alarming amount of bad luck, coupled with Bobby’s crippling heroin addiction, the band never once hit the potential success it most certainly would’ve had.  As time has gone on, Bobby’s reputation as a drug addict held greater notoriety than the band itself.  The documentary catches Bobby in a near- death state with his only shot at surviving being Pentagram.  His friend and manager sinks every last dime and minute he has into trying to save Bobby.  If you’re at all familiar with the last few years for Pentagram, you know it worked.  Still, the long road there is documented in all it’s painful glory.  As a person who has endless amounts of affection for Pentagram, this documentary plucked some very personal strings for me.   I shed some honest tears for Bobby watching Last Days Here.  I’m glad he made out it out the other side.  Fuck the Rolling Stones…fear Pentagram.

7. God Bless America (Magnet Releasing)-It’d be fair to say that this year, of all years, was the perfect time for a movie like this to be made available to the public.  Living here in what was called “The battleground state to end all battleground states”, I can safely say that God Bless America spoke to the sentiments of its people.  We’re fed up.  Fed up with celebrity culture, fed up with phony religious idealism, fed up with snide elitists disguised as post-modern hipsters, fed up carbon copy answers, hell, we’re just fed the fuck up!!  Writer/Director Bobcat Goldthwait is too.  So, he made a movie that spells out the “what if” dream scenario in which we, the fed up realists, go on a goddamned killing spree.  Make right the wrongs in this world, so to speak.  In the process of doing so, he not only (I assume) exorcised some personal demons but handed us a viciously funny, violent, poignant movie that will soon carry the same sort of cult status that Office Space has.  God Bless America says what so many wish to and it does it whilst wagging its middle finger in the air.

8. The Cabin In The Woods (Lionsgate)-Very shortly after its release, The Cabin In The Woods was getting it’s balls gently handled by every horror fan I know.  It proved to be with very good reason.  Lining horror conventionalism up in your crosshairs and exposing its irony has been done before, but NEVER in the way TCITW dealt with it.  Things were so simple at times, you knew there had to be some complexity we weren’t grasping…and that would be the case.  The idea that drove this movie is so preposterously awesome, I left the theatre shaking my head thinking “How has this concept eluded the mind of so many brilliant filmmakers?!”  It’s scary at all the right times, sexy when necessary, and funny when funny is acceptable.  It’s a perfectly executed horror film that doesn’t insult the intelligence of its audience, but rather applauds their faith in the monsters under the bed.  Multiple viewings have yet to find me tired of The Cabin In The Woods.  I suspect we can add this to the list (along with Trick R’ Treat) of movies we’ll see our children watching at sleepovers…kids still do that shit, right?

9. Kill List (IFC Midnight)-Jesus Christ, what a movie!  I will admit, the first act nearly lost me upon viewing.  It was a minimalistic, almost drab character driven flick with no horror in site.  But if you hold on for it to hit (and trust me when I say it hits!),  you’re going to receive a hammer to the face!  Kill List is a film you have to be very careful when describing because the third act gets to be so bonkers, you’ll give away everything if you try to explain yourself.  Just know this:  Kill List delivered on all fronts and then leaves its stink to linger in your home.  I’d liken it to the the opening 30 minutes of Irreversible in the sense that it builds up, then hurts you, and hurts you badly.  A very unconventional direction to tackle a genre film from, but IFC Midnight delivers once again.  Do not plan on feeling good afterwards.  You weren’t meant to.

10. Father’s Day (Astro- 6/Troma)-Setting all personal feelings aside about what has gone down between the film’s makers and its distributor,  I can say with a great deal of confidence that this is a quintessential sleaze film.  Every boneheaded thing that you could possibly think of gets tossed into the mixing bowl, but only after it’s doused in a healthy amount of blood.  Expect to laugh your ass off at the notion that the events taking place were even dreamt up, let alone made into a movie!  The folks at Astron-6 have only one thing in mind and that’s to keep you as entertained as is humanly possible.  Nothing’s sacred and nothing’s spared…it’s all here, ladies and germs.  Lots of obnoxious characters living like assholes-just the way we like our exploitation!  The Blu-ray package of this is outstanding and worth every penny.  You’ll thank me for it.

*Honorable mentions:  The Raid, V/H/S,  Para-Norman, The Innkeepers, The Tall Man, The Weird World Of Blowfly, The Avengers, The Dark Knight Rises*

This wasn’t just a year for flicks.  No, sir!  There was plenty going on on the weirdo side of the tracks.  Here’s a few other notable things to bring a smile to your face:

Hello, gorgeous!!

1. Horror Television FINALLY doing it right-That’s right, folks.  Horror is the current TV cash cow.  American Horror Story, True Blood, Dexter and the juggernaut known as The Walking Dead were killing in ratings and impress the pop culture impresarios worldwide.  You can’t go anywhere without spotting something Walking Dead related.  It’s a wildly popular show that has both fans and detractors lighting up social media every Sunday.  Not to be outdone, Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuk took season 2 of American Horror Story into so many obnoxious directions, it’s impossible to not have a soft spot in your heart for this lovable perversion of decency.  And of course, Sookie…

Point being, Television is finally getting this whole scare thing right.  Love or hate these shows, there’s no denying the impact they’re having on how television shows are both made and presented to the public.  There unafraid to take scenarios to the furthest reaches of acceptability.  That in and of itself is worthy of our respect.  With any luck, it’ll continue.  Sidenote: Before you email me or comment on this article that I left shows out, I already know that.  This was just to give some solid examples of the shows that are wider in reach, culturally speaking.  Todd And The Book Of Pure Evil, Death Valley, Holliston, and the like are all great shows.  All definitely worth your time and all great examples of horror’s place in mainstream media.

2.The new generation of Occult Rock-Oddly enough, one of heavy music’s bastard children emerged from it’s evil shadows this year in a big way.  Occult Rock is in a full-on resurgence and I couldn’t be happier!!  Building upon the foundation laid by Black Sabbath, Pentagram, Roky Erickson, Coven, Black Widow, these bands (mostly European) have taken up the flag of the Dark One and set it to some of 2012′s best records.  Witchcraft, Graveyard, Horisont, Troubled Horse, Uncle Acid & The Deadbeats, The Devil’s Blood, Jess And The Ancient Ones, Blood Ceremony, Hexvessel, Year Of The Goat, Orchid, Bloody Hammers all proudly invert their crosses and rock in the name of (some figuratively, other’s literally…maybe?).  Whether or not any of it’s real, one thing is certain:  The music is great.  These bands put on amazing live shows (I can attest to this firsthand!) and are making waves here in the states as a result.  Previously, labels like Rise Above Record and Svart Records were doing their damndest to distribute the music of the bands in their stables, but now with new distribution deals inked via Metal Blade and Nuclear Blast, the European Evil Invasion is easier to get your hands on.  Oh, and for all you vinyl snobs,  these bands were MEANT to be heard on wax.  For proof, pick up the latest Graveyard and Witchcraft releases at your local record shop and you’ll see what I mean.  These hardworking bands create without compromise and they’re finally seeing the results.  As a long time fan, I’m glad to see them getting some well-deserved respect in America.

It’s been a fantastic year for horror.  It’s been a fantastic year for The Blood Sprayer family.  Friends and alumni of this site have gone on to make their own flicks that are turning out brilliantly.  Filmmakers who’ve become friend of the site, like Chris LaMartina & Jimmy George, hosted brilliant Kickstarter campaigns which in turn will become awesome movies.  We feel blessed to be a part of this whole community.  And speaking of our community, I want to personally thank all of you for allowing us to be a part of it.  I feel blessed that I get to not only see a great movie like Excision, but I also get to cover it and share my feelings with all of you.  I love that horror movies still shake us up and that’s what leads me to close with this thought:  The holiday season was dealt a sobering blow when the shootings in Connecticut hit the news wire.  Like all of you, my heart aches for the victims and their loved ones who are left with no real answers.  Instead of co-opting the pain of others by grandstanding bullshit, I’m just going to encourage you to rise above the fray.  Movie, music, video games…they all bring us joy.  They do NOT kill people.  They are NOT to blame for the atrocities that are committed throughout the world.  If anything, they’re the escape.  They’re the thing we turn to to bring a smile to our face, to inspire us.  Now would be a good time to keep that going.  So make sure to laugh a little harder this holiday.  Hug your loved ones with more intensity than you ever have in the past.  Listen to your favorite records, watch your favorite horror movies, eat, drink, and be merrier than you’ve ever been!!

From my family, from our Blood Sprayer family, I wish you all a happy holiday and hope for another new year filled with kick ass horror movies!!!  So long, 2012…thanks for the filth!!!

Horror has a new home…

IMAGE ENTERTAINMENT WELCOMES YOU TO CHERRY TREE LANE

 Breaking In January 29^th on DVD & Digital Download

CHATSWORTH, CA — On January 29^th, witness horror coming home with Image Entertainment’s DVD release of Cherry Tree Lane. Written and directed by acclaimed horror director Paul Andrew Williams (London to Brighton, The Cottage),Cherry Tree Lane has already been embraced by the genre community the world over. The DVD SRP is $27.97 with a pre-book date of January 1, 2013. The film is also available via digital download and will be available On Demand beginning January 17, 2013.

Mike, Christine and their son Sebastian have always felt safe in their peaceful suburban neighborhood, but a savage home invasion by three youths changes everything, pushing the family into a nightmare fight for survival. Bound, taunted and threatened, each moment is filled with the fear that it might be their last. As their personal hell unfolds, they will learn the shocking cruelty that modern strangers can inflict…and what they’re capable of in order to survive.

Horror fans around the world have been heaping praise on Cherry Tree Lane. Bloody-Disgusting.com called it “a damn fine suspense flick,” while View London declared it “well-made, superbly acted…suspenseful and horrifying.” ”Gripping, chilling and scary…a grueling suspenser” said Total Film, and EyeForFilm.com heralded it as ”Frightening…extraordinary, masterful filmmaking.”

Hello again Brothers and Sisters of the Psychotronic Video World! Today I’ve got a special treat for you all today; a week or so back, Wes forwarded me a request we’d received here at the Blood Sprayer, asking us to review a new novel by the truly excellent title of Hellzapalooza: The Best Damned Rock Show Ever!, as Wes is busy with new-baby duties, the review opportunity was passed to me.  And let me tell you, Brothers and Sisters, what an opportunity it turned out to be! Let me just pour myself another Crown-and-Coke and I’ll tell you all about it.

Some minor spoilers ensue.

In the tiny town of Theodosia, Missouri — right in the heart of the Ozarks — something dark is growing just under the surface.  Just under the ground.  And people there — nice, friendly, blue-collar people — are starting to act awful strange.  In the midst of this, an unscrupulous concert promoter, RayJay Jahraznik (a man who, by himself, makes Sodom and Gomorrah look like Sunday School frolics), inherits a piece of property on the outskirts of Theodosia.

While inspecting the property, RayJay has a run-in with Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, Ozzy Osbourne and several other legends of Rock, who tell him that this big open space on the edge of Theodosia would be the perfect place to host the biggest, nastiest, most perverse rock concert in the history of the human race.  And Jimi/Jim/Ozzy swears to do everything within his/their power to help make it happen, if RayJay “will only bow down and worship me.”

As Hell comes to Earth in Theodosia, it’s up to an old, cantankerous mountain witch, a psychic, her daughter, an artist afflicted by horrific visions and a straight-shooting, knife-throwing auto mechanic to save the souls of all Mankind.  But will they be enough to accomplish the job?

Hellzapalooza‘s overarching story-line was penned by Mark Groves, who is also the kind gent who offered the book to us for review.  Interspersed throughout the narrative are side-chapters detailing outbreaks of Horror on the periphery of the concert both during the show and in the days leading up to it, each written by a different author, including Joe Baric, Laura Hardenbrook, Andrew Rambo, Maddie McFadden, John Peterson, and Lisa Shepard.

Let me tell you, readers…this book ROCKED me, pun gloriously intended.  I’ve been reading it on my lunch-break at work and narrowly escaping a chewing-out from my supervisor for taking overly long lunches, because this is a book that demands not to be put down.  It brings the soul of Rock and Roll — that brilliant, blinding, fire of love and hate and rebellion that courses through the listener’s veins, pouring hot, sonic ecstasy across every nerve ending from the first notes — to life more fully than anything else I can think of, with the possible exceptions of Walter Hill’s 1984 film STREETS OF FIRE, Meat Loaf’s Bat Out of Hell album and Bruce Springsteen’s Born to Run album.  Those are the three holiest texts of Rock and Roll Soul, and now Hellzapalooza adds a fourth.

Additionally, despite a veneer of Judeo-Christian iconography, Hellzapalooza is one of the more Lovecraftian books I’ve read in ages.  Theodosia, as presented by Groves and Co., would not seem out of place on the Aylesbury Pike between Arkham and Dunwich.  It’s a decaying little town, riddled throughout with gnawing corruption, a place where everyone has their dark secrets, from the unfaithful, possibly ephebophile mayor to the fat broad behind the counter of the bait shop with a sex dungeon in her basement and a thriving pornography business.  It’s the kind of town where rape is blamed on the victim and a black man has to watch his neck at all times.  The Evil threatening to consume Theodosia and the world presents itself as the Christian Satan because it’s dealing with individuals who understand Evil in a Christian theological framework, but it’s clearly far older than Christianity.  And for what it’s worth, the Evil also presents itself as the Angel Michael to twist an evangelical preacher to its own ends.

In fact, I’d go so far as to say a major theme of the novel is that Evil Wears Many Faces.  Throughout the novel, Evil presents itself as Satan, Michael, God, Ozzy, Idi Amin, Jimi Hendrix, Pol Pot, Joseph Stalin, Jim Morrison, a Nazi Commandant, and the rapist next door, shifting in appearance from moment to moment, as if in embodiment of the idea that any one of us could be twisted to evil deeds without constant vigilance over our own souls.  Pretty heady stuff for a novel that also features a character sodomizing a dominatrix with an eggplant and then proposing marriage to her.

All in all, Hellzapalooza: The Best Damned Rock Show Ever! lives up to its subtitle.  I really tremendously enjoyed it from beginning to end, and recommend it to everyone who reads the Blood Sprayer without hesitation or reservation.  Read.  This.  Book.

Hello again, Brothers and Sisters of the Psychotronic Video World! You might remember last week when I put up my review of TROGLODYTE’s new album, Don’t Go In The Woods.  Well, no one responded more positively to the review than TROGLODYTE‘s own Jeffrey Sisson, a man who doesn’t just sing in an ape mask, but also created all the cover art for Warlock Home Video and has a pretty impressive acting/special effects resume to his credit as well! When Jeff reached out to us in gratitude, Wes and I knew what we had to do — request an interview with the man! Jeff was more than happy to oblige us, the results of which you can read here.

First of all, Jeff, I’d like to thank you for agreeing to this interview. Can you tell us a little bit about the man behind the ape-mask?
Pretty laid-back guy. Husband. Father.
I enjoy music and the films of Klaus Kinski.

Where did the idea for “Neandercore” come from?
I couldn’t buy the domain “troglodyte.com” because it was taken. Some squatter. I thought, I have to come up with something. So I kind of “branded” our music with some ridiculous, made-up genre of music… “neandercore.” Music for the contemporary caveman.

How did TROGLODYTE come together?
A mutual friend had introduced me to Chris Wilson. He was making this crazy basement produced music…volumes of it. Creating artwork for these CD-R releases that he wasn’t even selling or trying to make publicly available. When the idea to record music about Bigfoot was blossoming, it was a no-brainer to ask Chris if he was interested. I was very inspired by the movie THE PIT. A boy finds a pit of pre-historic cave-dwelling “trogs” in the woods. He leads some people back to the pit and pushes a few in to feed the creatures. I just thought “Troglodyte” was such a great name for a band. It technically has little or no relation to the Bigfoot creature, but it certainly leaves an impression, which was what we wanted. We worked on music for a long time before I leaked out some pics of us in the masks. I thought, if the music sucks, what’s the point of going to all this effort to makes masks and costumes/stage gear. Hahaha.

So far TROGLODYTE has written and released 26 songs dealing with violent, sociopathic Sasquatches. Where do you find your inspiration for composing these?
People say we’ll run out of ideas for songs eventually. I disagree. While they are technically laced with Bigfoot, some are more esoteric. A song like CRIPPLED FOOT CAST is very grounded, based on thousands of tracks left in the snow and discovered in Bossburg, Washington in 1969. 352 is a reference to the famous frame of the Patterson/Gimlin film, where the creature turns and is looking at the camera in the 352 frame of film. With two studio albums and even more music we haven’t released, we’ve only had one song with the name “Bigfoot” in the title. I’ve always been a pretty avid “crypto” fan, so I have quite an arsenal of material to mine!

What’s your favorite Bigfoot movie?
NIGHT OF THE DEMON. Amazing film. The movie is a flashback. And there are even flashbacks inside the flashback. Just jaw-dropping. LEGEND OF BOGGY CREEK and HARRY AND THE HENDERSONS are close runners-up!

What’s next for TROGLODYTE? Any tours in the foreseeable future?
I am putting together a collection of rare, unreleased music called ORIGIN OF THE SPECIES. That will come out after the first of the year. It’s our first Asian release…I am excited to finally have an “import” release. Everyone knows you aren’t shit until you have a Japanese import! We’ve been talking to a couple bands about touring in the coming year, so we’ll see how that goes. I think we’ll make a push to get out to some festivals and some more one-off kind of events. We would love to get out; it just comes to down the right place and time. Without the support of a label, it can be interesting getting out on the road. But we have a couple bands who shown interest in taking us out…so again, we shall see!

Do you think Sasquatch is really out there?
For me, it’s the excitement of the unknown and “what if.” Not everything has to be all spelled out, tied up and served with an explanation. There is a part of me that thinks/wishes that it is never proven either way. It keeps the magic alive of what it is…unknown. Which to me is scores more fascinating.

In addition to your work with TROGLODYTE, you’ve been both in front of and behind the camera in films since 1995. Which do you enjoy more, being an actor or being a special effects technician?
I enjoy the “process” for sure. Whether it’s acting, FX, directing…I find a lot of pleasure directing. Acting is fun, but I am really stingy about that…it’s got to be something really special to get me involved, typically. The FX stuff I will always love, but like the acting, it’s got to be something special to get me involved. It is such a HUGE expenditure of time. And it’s really tough to make a living doing it. SO many other people doing FX…it is a constant hustle to survive. I’ve directed some music video stuff. I would love to shoot a feature. I have a couple things I’ve been working on. My main push had been to get the music stuff off the ground, which it still is, but I need to switch gears, to keep that fresh. So a feature is definitely something that will happen in the very near future.

How did you get started doing special makeup effects?
When I was a kid I always had an interest. There were no schools then, so you scoured through FANGORIA or found the occasional “how-to-book” on the subject. Corsen’s Stage Make-up teaches a lot of fundamental stuff. I had a copy of Dick Smith’s Monster Make-up Handbook as a kid too. Everything else I taught myself or others were kind enough to share. I’ve always been able to sculpt. I spent time with anatomy books. My dad told me a lot of stuff about mold making. LOTS of trial and error.

Do you have a favorite movie you’ve worked on?
Probably would be CHOP, even though I only acted in the film. I think it’s a solid effort. Especially considering some of the other drek that gets dumped out on the market.

To top it all off, you’ve done the cover art for every Warlock Home Video release. How did you and Chris Seaver encounter one another?
I’ve known of Seaver for years. When I was working on a film called DEAD AND ROTTING, Debbie Rochon and Trent Haaga turned the crew/cast on to his stuff. I guess it was a year and a half ago; I had heard the concept behind Warlock and reached out to him. Seaver is a real pleasure to work with. He pretty much gives me a title and a synopsis and I go to town. It reminds me of the Empire Picture/Full Moon heyday, when Charlie (Band) would commission art, take it to AFM in the spring, shoot in and have it ready to go for a summer release. What Chris is doing is dependent on a certain kind of art. A certain “look” and “feel” and he knows I get it. That stuff is a blast to do.

Jeff, thanks again for taking the time to answer a few questions for us here. We really do appreciate it, and it’s always our pleasure to support the independent guys out there carving their own niche.
Hey, again, thank YOU!
Keep up the good work!

A double shot of American Horror Story, coming right up!

Episode 7

So lots of crazy shit happened in this episode. The Angel of Death, played by Frances Conroy, who you might remember from the first season, shows up quite a bit. From Miles, a bakery assistant, to Lana, to Grace. Miles cuts his wrists on a meat slicing machine to summon her, and writes her name in ancient Aramaic on the wall. This upsets Mary Eunice, who you’ll remember is the devil. Grace, who got her baby making parts ripped out by the aliens, is also visited by the Angel. She refuses her kiss of death. Lana also refuses the kiss, which is weird for her character to reject a woman’s kiss. Sorry, lesbian joke. Lana escapes from Dr Thredson, but is picked up by a man who is moments away from blowing his brains out. Jude finds out that the little girl she hit years ago actually survived the crash. Also, Mary Eunice was setting her up for the Nazi hunter’s murder. Kit escapes, and just when he and Grace reunite, a mutated person attacks them. Frank the guard comes in, and shoots at Kit, but it hits Grace. Dead.

Episode 8

Ian McShane guest stars as Lee Emerson, a Santa suit wearing murderer. He’s been in solitary for the last year since the last Christmas. He’s pretty messed up. And Mary Eunice wants to let him spread his cheer. Sister Jude finds Mary Eunice and is going to kill her to release the demon. To let her spirit free. Arden stops this, and Jude is escorted out. Arden gives Mary Eunice some ruby earrings that her got from a “Jewess” in one of the camps. She swallowed them every day and pulled them out of her feces. Mary Eunice doesn’t care, and Arden sees her true impurity. He begs for Jude’s help. Kit has some morphine induced dreams about Alma and Grace. Lana wakes him up to tell him that he’s innocent, and that they have to find Thredson. Lana goes to use the phone in Thredson’s office, and even though he steps out of the shadows to end her, Kit saves the day. They tie him up and wait. Frank gets his throat cut by Mary Eunice.

Jude gets locked in her office with Emerson, the Santa killer from before. She ends up stabbing him in the throat before he can rape her. Arden meanwhile is attempting to get rid of Grace’s body, but lo and behold! The aliens take her body.

So Thredson is tied up. How could present day Bloody Face possibly be him? Will he escape? I think the climax of this season is coming here in the next two episodes. So what’s gonna happen? Give me those predictions and comments either here or on the Blood Sprayer Facebook page.

I seriously couldn’t stop laughing while reading this. I love it. High praise to Dustin Mills!

“Be very very quiet… I’m hunting rabbits” – Father Asher

“From the mental defectives who brought you The Puppet Monster massacre comes Easter Casket. A puppet, nudity, and gore filled extravaganza of epic proportions.

All hell breaks loose when Peter Cottontail (aka The Easter Bunny) hears that the Catholic Church is about to do away with all Easter rituals not pertaining directly to the resurrection of Christ. That means no bunnies, no eggs, no candy, etc. The Mega Pope (secret leader of the Catholic church) smells something fishy going on when a nun is murdered under mysterious circumstances. He sends Father Asher (a warrior priest with retractable armor) to investigate. From there it’s all out warfare and lunacy with Asher trying to defeat The Easter Bunny and his minions before time runs out. Can Asher stop him before its too late? Only one thing is certain: March 26th is gonna be a bad hare day!

Dustin Mills Productions presents its strangest film to date. Featuring action, demons, bunnies, nudity, sex, violence, nuns, school girls, naughty priests, blasphemy, and an egg laying scene that must be seen to be believed!

Easter Casket is a micro-budget feature from Director Dustin Mills (The Puppet Monster Massacre, Zombie A-Hole, Night of the Tentacles). Filming begins in January and the film will be released on March 26th. Pre-Orders are being accepted through Indiegogo.com/eastercasket.”

For interviews or info contact: eastercasket@gmail.com

www.eastercasket.com
www.facebook.com/eastercasket
www.indiegogo.com/eastercasket

Check out this short thriller from David ‘dwyz’ Wayman.

Official selection of the Hyart film Festival
Official selection of the Cochise film festival
Official selection of the Portobello film festival
Official selection of the Exploding Cinema Festival
Official Selection of the Shortcutz Film Festival
Official Selection of the Shorts 4 Talks Festival

“A short thriller/horror based on one womans fears, anxiety and paranoia, featuring the beautiful Clare Gregory in her début performance.”

Hello again, Brothers and Sisters of the Psychotronic Video World.  Today I’ve got a very special treat for you — a piece of original fiction that I penned years ago for inclusion in a Bigfoot-themed anthology.  The anthology never materialized, and other places I’ve submitted the tale to for publication have dried up or faded away without printing this tale.  And I’m sick of having this story not see the light of day, Brothers and Sisters! So I’ve decided to publish it here, at the Blood Sprayer, exclusive for you! I hope you enjoy this unorthodox tale.

***

The air was cold, damp. A thin fog clung tenaciously to the scrawny, denuded trees, straggly fingers of mist dancing amidst the roots and low-hanging branches. The very trees themselves seemed no more substantial than the fog that wrapped around them. They were thin, clawing trees, these Mississippi trees; an aura of sadness seemed to cling to them, though that may have been the November drizzle hanging over them. Regardless, they seemed so unlike the trees of the Adirondack Mountains; so familiar from the hunter’s early life. He stalked among them, alien and yet comfortable; a human thing, clad in corduroy trousers, sturdy boots and a military jacket, well-worn by comfortably-fitting across his broad shoulders. Though an outsider to this gloom-washed scene, he nevertheless strode across it firmly, assertively. There was an element of respectful awe in his bearing, but nevertheless the sense of, if not ownership, at least custodianship over the primeval gray surrounding him.

And why should he not experience such a sense of controlling assuredness? He was in the prime of life; forty-four years old, standing a proud and erect five-foot-eight; and weighing two hundred and fifteen pounds, give or take, not an ounce of it being the fat of soft living. He was a man who lived and breathed the philosophy of the Strenuous Life. He was Theodore Roosevelt, and President of the United States of America, the most powerful nation on the face of the planet Earth. He was in Mississippi at the behest of Governor Longino, for a bear-hunting trip. Politically-speaking, Roosevelt, an avid sportsman and hunter, could not have refused even if he had wanted to.

Irksomely, the hunting had not gone well for Roosevelt, and while the other hunters in Longino’s party had killed bears, Roosevelt had yet to see one. Hell, he’d not seen so much as a rabbit! His mustache bristled at the idea of what Hearst’s reporters would say about this. They’d have a field day, America’s Great Hunter coming home from a hunt empty-handed.

The President’s ruminations were interrupted by a rustling amidst the trees; the soft sound of a twig cracking, of a heavy body shuffling through the faded brown and auburn carpet of damp, fallen leaves. A crackle of dead bark knocked loose from a tree. The breath caught in Roosevelt’s throat, his eyes gleaming behind his spectacles. A coughing sound echoed through the foggy woods, sounding deep enough in the President’s ears that an inescapable conclusion was drawn. The only creature native to Mississippi big enough to make such a noise was the American Black Bear. Now where was it?

The Hunter’s Spirit arose in Roosevelt’s breast. His breathing steady, calm, and quiet, he stepped forward confidently but tenderly; he could not afford even a single careless motion. His steely eyes scanned ahead of him for any telltale movement that would disclose the location of his prey. His ears, long honed in the forests of New York and the Badlands of the Dakotas, searched the endless gray as attentively as those of a wolf or mountain lion might. He would find this bear.

As it so happened, such sensory finesse proved unnecessary. There came, from Roosevelt’s left, a loud grunt, the sharp crack of a bough breaking, and a shrill shriek of pain and surprise. The last sound took Roosevelt by surprise. He was a man familiar with bears; the high-pitched howl he had just heard was not a sound he’d ever heard a bear make, nor had he ever heard any reference to bears screaming in such a fashion. Curious.

Cautiously, Roosevelt stepped lightly in the direction of the sound, brows slightly furrowed, lips pursed, rifle at the ready. Twenty five feet from where he’d paused a moment ago was a small clearing, created when an elderly tree had died and fallen, probably six or eight months earlier. The moss-coated trunk now lay across the clearing, half-supported on other trees. At its base, the upturned roots, bleached white and washed clean, exposed something of a natural cave. Around the remains of this great tree, saplings had sprung up, new growth ready now for their first winter.

In the midst of this tableau, Roosevelt’s attention was captured by a shaggy creature, half-hanging from, half-clinging to the trunk of the dead tree. Roosevelt could see that its ankle was caught in a broken branch; likely the creature had been walking on the trunk, slipped on the wet moss, and gotten caught in the breaking branch as it fell. The creature was watching Roosevelt, hooting softly in what may have been fear.

Its identity was something of which Roosevelt was unsure. It looked like it would stand about four feet in height; its limbs were proportioned in such a way as to suggest a primarily bipedal lifestyle. Anthropoid in appearance, it was no monkey or ape that Roosevelt had ever seen, though the long, reddish-brown fur covering everything but its hands, feet, and face called to mind the Orang-utan of Borneo. It’s skin tone, where visible, was a kind of shiny gray-black. The creature’s hands and feet were more human-like than monkey-like, and the large gray eyes currently regarding him bespoke of a degree of intelligence invested within the beast.

“Hullo,” Roosevelt murmured, half to himself, as he advanced into the clearing. “Now just what are you? If I didn’t know better I’d call you a Chimpanzee or an Orang-utan; certainly you look a little like both. But your legs are too long, your arms too short, and your feet the wrong shape. No, I don’t know what to make of you. But you’re no bear, that’s for sure.”

Roosevelt had reached the creature’s side; he could see it shivering as it watched him, and its low hooting had taken on a slightly panicked tone.

“You know what I am,” Roosevelt mused, “and you’re afraid. Well, you’re a smart old boy, I’ll give you that. No, I won’t hurt you,” and Roosevelt laid his rifle carefully on the ground, “so no fear, right?”

Roosevelt clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth, wiped his spectacles on his shirt and regarded the creature once more. From some hidden recess in his mind, a half-remembered fragment of something he’d once read occurred to him. The legends of the Indians held many accounts of “Wild Men” who lived in the woods and, more often than not, were covered in a thick coat of hair. The Iroquois called them Stone Giants, and the Algonquin used the term Wendigo. Even the Dakota Sioux had their Chinha Tanka, “Big Elder Brother,” who haunted the lonely, empty spaces. These legends invariably gave the creatures a fierce demeanor and a hunger for human flesh.

Well, bully to that, thought Roosevelt. He’d faced man-eaters before, and could tell by the terror in the little wild man’s eyes that he was no man-eater. “I’m going to help you down,” Roosevelt told the wild man, in what he hoped came across as a soothing tone. Wrapping one arm around the wild man’s waist (causing him to scream again and dig his nails into Roosevelt’s arm), Roosevelt pulled back on the branch with the other, freeing the wild man’s ankle. Once it was clear, he put the wild man gently on the ground. The ankle did not seem to be broken, or even badly sprained.

A rustling caused Roosevelt to turn; emerging into the clearing was one of Longino’s men; damned if Roosevelt could remember the mousy little man’s name.

“Mr. President? We heard the shot, and…” the man trailed off mid-sentence, goggling at the wild man, who had now sat up and was massaging it’s ankle between it’s rough-skinned, black hands.

“There was no shot, man. What you heard was a branch breaking. This fellow had been walking on a rotting log and lost his footing.” Roosevelt replied gruffly, bringing the man’s attention back from the wild man.

“Er, well then, ah…Mr. President, what is that thing?” The man asked, half-raising his rifle. Roosevelt pursed his lips, not entirely sure how to answer.

“Well, man, whatever it is, it is no bear. Put the gun down.” Roosevelt commanded quietly. The man looked at the President, a look of incredulity spreading across his thin face.

“But sir…”

“Are you generally in the habit of contradicting the President? Put the gun down.”

No sooner were the words out of Roosevelt’s mouth than he heard a long, low growl from the far side of the clearing. Turning, it dawned on Roosevelt that the wild man he’d found was in fact a wild boy; across the clearing stood what was likely his mother.

Similar in proportions and general appearance to the wild boy, the individual emerging into the clearing stood well over six feet in height; closer to seven, Roosevelt estimated, and her femininity well-established by a pair of pendulous, hairy breasts. Her lips writhed back across yellowy teeth, elongated canines that renewed the notion of man-eaters in Roosevelt’s mind as she snarled again.

At this, the wild boy stood up and hobbled over to his mother, hooting softly and gesturing excited at his foot, the tree, and Roosevelt. Bully, thought Roosevelt, he’s telling her what happened. The wild boy’s story coming to a conclusion, the mother gave one last aggressive grunt, and turned and strode back into the forest, leading her child away from humanity.

“What…what were they, Mr. President?” the man asked again.

Roosevelt sighed. “Damned if I know what to call them. Wild men of the forest, maybe. Regardless, I don’t think I’ll be doing any more hunting today.”

“The press will have a field day if you don’t bring in a bear, Mr. President.”

“I know. We’ll think of something to tell them. I refused to shoot a trapped bear cub. They’ll eat that up, write glowing columns about my compassion and sense of justice. Let’s go,” Roosevelt said, and turned and strode away from the clearing.

On the trip back to Washington, Roosevelt allowed himself to become lost in thought. Clearly, these creatures were not lone survivors of the prehistoric age; he reasoned. No, there had to be a population. Populations, perhaps, scattered across North America, giving rise to legends from New York to California. He recalled the fear with which the young wild man beheld him; these were not creatures comfortable with the encroachment of humanity into their primeval domain. Perhaps there was something he could do for them – set aside land for conservation of nature, where these creatures could roam safe from human intrusion…

Hello again Brothers and Sisters of the Psychotronic Video World! Mixing things up a bit tonight and doing my very first ever music review, so if I fuck up, don’t beat me too severely.  Now, y’all know me — I’m a sucker for all things Bigfoot, and some of you may know I’m also something of a metalhead.  Now, I never really got into Black and Death Metal so much — I’m more a crazed guitar solo kinda guy.  However, one Death Metal band has really caught my attention lately, and that is TROGLODYTE, who refer to their style as “Neandercore.”

These unholy fuckers of mothers get up on stage in ape-faced masks and rock the fuck out about Bigfoot.  And you know what? It’s really fucking good.

Troglodyte released their first album, Welcome to Boggy Creek, in 2011, and now they’ve followed up with Don’t Go In The Woods.  I don’t have a physical CD copy of Don’t yet (it’s in the mail), but I also downloaded the album from the band’s website.  I then put the album on repeat and listened to it on my headphones for eight freakin’ hours at work today, soaking up the Sasquatchery of it all.

Keeping in mind that I have not yet reviewed Welcome (a fact that will be rectified soon), here are my thoughts on Don’t.

Following in the trend of their first album, Don’t features cover art by Justin Osbourn of Slasher Design, and is a gloriously bloody mess, in the best way possible.  Having Osbourn do the art for both albums provides a sense of continuity, or rather expands and solidifies the continuity of subject matter.  And seriously, look at this fucking thing.  I’ve never seen Bigfoot look so primal and menacing.

For this album, Paul Ryan (not that smirking Objectivist who was the Republican vice presidential candidate this past election cycle) and Mike Flores, both from the band ORIGIN, providing guest vocals and a shredding bass-line, respectively.  These guys lift Don’t above Welcome, in my opinion.

Ryan gives the songs a good vocal crispness without losing the trademark gravel-throated growl of Death Metal, and the result is an album that you can just listen to, without having to ask, “What did he just say?” other than in disbelief of some ghoulishness in the subject matter.

Don’t has a much stronger bass-line than Welcome did, and it’s the kind of shredding where you’re listening and you can feel your teeth vibrate to the music.  It’s exactly what I would want from the musical equivalent of the brute strength of Troglodyte’s vicious take on Bigfoot.  Flores is, according to an update from the band, stepping in and joining Troglodyte full time; a fact that pleases me greatly, not just because of his bass work, but because his last name is fucking Flores, and if you remember a few years back, Flores Island in Indonesia was the site of the discovery of Homo floresiensis, a prehistoric dwarf humanoid race which, in co-existing with early modern humans, may have given rise to legends of the Ebu Gogo and Orang Pendek — local Indonesian versions of Bigfoot.

Welcome to Boggy Creek was structured around the brilliant ode to a gem of Sasquatch Cinema, a song that may prove to be Troglodyte’s “Bohemian Rhapsody” — “Hit By The Hendersons.”  And while the entire Welcome album is fantastic, “Hit By The Hendersons” is the pinnacle of the album.  Don’t Go In The Woods does not make it so easy to select a “best” song, though the tracks “Cro-Magnum Force,” “The Trap is Set,” “Murderous Bi-Pedal Hominid Rampage (Where Are My Legs?),” “Minnesota Iceman Cometh” and “352″ are the songs that really strand out for me.  Given that the album is all of 13 songs long, that’s 5, or just shy of half, that have me so blown away I can’t pick a favorite from among them.

As a final note, let me just say how amazed I am at how well the guys in Troglodyte know their shit.  The fact that they have a song called “Minnesota Iceman Cometh” — The Minnesota Iceman is pretty fucking obscure these days, even in Bigfoot lore!

As a final, final note, I’m really freaking hoping Troglodyte and James Bickert can collaborate on some sort of completely bugfuck insane sequel to DEAR GOD NO!

In parting, let me just say if you’ve got any interest in Death Metal and/or Bigfoot, you owe it to yourself to pick up Troglodyte’s albums.  You can get both CDs from their website for $15 plus shipping.  DO EET! DO EET NOW!

UPDATE: Well shit in my pants, Brothers and Sisters.  I was both stunned and delighted to learn this morning that one of the sick, deviant brains behind TROGLODYTE, one Jeffrey Sisson, has had his work featured on the Blood Sprayer in the past.  Sisson does all the cover artwork for WARLOCK HOME VIDEO and as an actor has appeared in films like CHOP and JESSICKA RABID.  Join me, Brothers and Sisters, in pumping our fists in the air for Jeff and the rest of the guys in TROGLODYTE!

Hello again, Brothers and Sisters of the Psychotronic Video World! We’ve got another screener tonight, the stunningly-titled NIPPLES & PALM TREES.  Wes was particularly interested in hearing what I thought of it, so let’s dive right in without any further ado.  Brothers and Sisters, let’s get this on.

Spoilers ensue.

Meet Jackson (screenwriter Matthew James), a scruffy Los Angeles local who has the misfortune of being stuck in a miserable, dead-end job in a call center.  For fun, he does a number of things — he paints sexually-explicit portraits, he goes to sleazy Asian jack-off parlors, smokes pot, bangs a truly staggering number of women who are extremely flexible both morally and physically.  Jackson is a sex addict, kiddos.

When Jackson’s girlfriend Harmony, an emotionally-and-sexually abused gal with raccoon-eye makeup, decides she wants to end the relationship, Jackson takes it surprisingly…not well.  Following her exit, Jackson goes on a deep, soul-searching, almost shamanistic quest for understanding and…I’m sorry, Brothers and Sisters, I can’t bullshit ya like that.  He goes off on a string of increasingly meaningless and bizarre sexual encounters hoping that will fill the emptiness inside him.

***

I’m sorry, readers, I just wasn’t wow’d by this film.  In fact, I was markedly underwhelmed by this film.  There’s no real plot that I can discern beyond “Jackson likes to get laid.”  Characters are never fleshed out beyond the most basic, broadest strokes.  Harmony’s history of incestuous sexual abuse is mentioned briefly and never as more than a throwaway line that, in all honesty, is presented for a cheap laugh.

Throughout the film, all I could think was, “this was written so that the screenwriter/lead actor could roll around with naked women.”  And in fulfillment of that goal, NIPPLES & PALM TREES succeeds admirably.  But all this could be accomplished — in fact, all that the film accomplishes — could have been done much better as a 15-20 minute short film.  In such a format it certainly would not wear out its welcome quite as the feature-length version did.

Additionally, there’s a lot of oddly questionable choices made during the editing process — for example, the title card does not appear until a full 20 minutes into the film.  It seems like the people behind the camera were experimenting with color filters as they went just to see what they’d do.  At times, especially early in the film, we get a number of really abrupt scene shifts and jumps that are disorienting — and if they’ve been done as a conscious, artistic choice, I’m not sure what they’re supposed to be saying.

All in all, readers, unless you’re really into stimulated sex scenes, I’m gonna say give this one a pass.

This morning, Ashley Allen, wife of our founder and El Presidente For Life Wes Allen, birthed a tiny humanoid by the name of Roxie Lynn Allen.  Roxie Lynn weighs in at 8 lbs, 6oz and 21 inches long.  Mother and daughter are both doing well, as can be seen here:

WHOOPS! That’s not the right picture.  Hang on a second…

Here we go:

Congratulations to Wes and Ash for their successful reproduction.  That puts the score at Allens 2, Pandas 0.

Hello again, Brothers and Sisters of the Pyschotronic Video World! Congratulations are in order for our founder, Wes, and his wife Ash, who have brought a tiny, squirming loaf of bologna sausage into the world, a daughter by the name of Roxie.  In wanting to commemorate the occasion, I asked Wes if it’d be alright for me to write this article — most horror sites would run a list of killer kid flicks, but we’re not most horror sites and Wes and I agreed that a list of movies involving slime-drenched extraterrestrial sexual assault and claustrophobic last stands was way, way more appropriate.

Following in the wake of 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY and STAR WARS, ALIEN was one of the films that revitalized science fiction at the box office, and with JAWS, revitalized creature-horror.  To say it was influential is like saying that orgasms are pretty fun.  As such, it did not take long for filmmakers to begin cashing in on the success of ALIEN.  Some of the following films are great; some are terrible; some are well-known; some are obscure even for me.  Let’s take a look, shall we?

10) THE TERROR WITHIN (1989)

A very late entry in the subgenre of “ALIEN Ripoffs” this film from Roger Corman’s New World Pictures is…lackluster, at best.  Welcome to the Post-Apocalypse, viewers, in this instance brought about by a chemical experiment gone awry.  99% of humanity died instantly; 99% of the survivors turned into bulky, rotten-fleshed, ape-faced ghouls referred to as “Gargoyles” by the tiny handful of unaffected surviving humans.  The men are in danger of being mauled by the Gargoyles; women will be raped by the ultra-fertile Gargoyles, resulting in an immediate pregnancy that comes to term in about three days, ending with the snaggle-toothed fetuses clawing their way out of their mothers.  Once a Gargoyle gets in to the base and starts stalking the darkened halls, it’s every man, woman and mutant for himself.  That’s right, readers, it’s ALIEN meets THE DAY THE WORLD ENDED as only Roger Corman could provide.

9) CONTAMINATION (aka ALIEN CONTAMINATION; 1980)

This one may ring a bell, Brothers and Sisters, as I reviewed it at the very beginning of our series on Video Nasties.  Italian director Luigi Cozzi was shown the poster art for ALIEN and told to make a film capitalizing on it.  He came back with a film about explosive extraterrestrial eggs being smuggled around the world, drawing more inspiration from Fulci’s ZOMBI 2 than the actual film ALIEN.  The eggs, of course, are being laid by a gigantic proboscidean cyclops from Mars that was (get this) smuggled to Earth from Mars by a disillusioned astronaut, and it’s up to that astronaut’s alcoholic ex-crewmate to save the day.  Multiple slow-motion shots of exploding torsos (and one detonating rat) landed this flick on the Video Nasties list.

8) LEVIATHAN (1989)

While more immediately inspired by THE ABYSS, LEVIATHAN’s cramped, claustrophobic set design and “monster-via-corruption-of-the-human-body” creature clearly harken back to ALIEN.  Peter “Robocop” Weller, Daniel “the crook that wasn’t Joe Pesci in Home Alone” Stern, Ernie “Ghostbusters” Hudson and Richard “Rambo I-III” Crenna all appear in this film, in which an undersea mining survey team stumbles across a scuttled Soviet ship.  A flask of vodka from the ship makes its way into a miner’s possession, but wouldn’t you know it? The vodka is contaminated with a genetic experiment of the Soviets, who scuttled the ship when the experiment got out of control.  Once the vodka gets drunk, people start mutating and people start dying.  A film that cements Weller’s status as a stone-cold badass when he wants to be.

7) Zeiram (1991)

Drawing inspiration from ALIEN, THE TERMINATOR, THE THING, and classic Japanese samurai films, ZEIRAM is a bizarre little film from Japan, in which an indestructible biomechanical alien war machine escapes from captivity and is faced down by a woman with a big damn gun.  She tracks Zeiram to Earth and, with the help of two bumbling handy-men, traps Zeiram in a virtual reality world where he can’t bring his full powers to bear.  ALIEN’s influence on this film is often overlooked, but some aspects of Zeiram’s design very clearly harken back to Giger’s original design — including a secondary face on the end of a long tentacle, extended to eat its victims with.

6) GALAXY OF TERROR (1981)

ALIEN meets FORBIDDEN PLANET in this offering from Roger Corman’s New World Pictures.  A rescue ship full of heavily-armed individuals is dispatched to the phantom planet Morganthus in search of a missing survey ship.  They find the missing ship on the dark, windswept planet, as well as a pyramid of obviously-alien construction.  Before long, the alien pyramid is manifesting the crew’s worst fears in the flesh with lethal results.  Among the cast members are a young Robert Englund, Sid Haig (who plays the role almost mute since he hated the character’s dialogue), Ray Walston and Zalman King.  James Cameron did the set-design, and clearly his work here influenced his efforts for 1986′s ALIENS.  High point of the film? A woman getting sexed to death by a 2-ton slime-spewing maggot.

5) FORBIDDEN WORLD (aka MUTANT; 1982)

I’m sick of movies entitled simply CREATURE or MUTANT; there’s too many of them, and it makes it hard for me to keep track of.  This film, again from Roger Corman’s New World Pictures, was a result of Corman deciding to save some money and reuse some sets from GALAXY OF TERROR.  On Planet Xarbia, a genetic experiment has gone out of control and morphed into an eyeless, slobbering, insectile creature covered in a thick black exoskeleton.  The ostensible hero of the film, played by Jesse Vint, is less than effective against the monster, which is defeated when one of the scientists trick it into eating a sample of cancer cells.  The film frequently segues away from the “rampaging monster” plot to focus on women taking barely-restrained sapphic showers together.

4) XTRO (1983)

ALIEN meets E.T.: THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL this time around, Brothers and Sister, in the meandering British sci-fi horror flick XTRO.  A man named Sam disappears one night, abducted by extraterrestrials.  Three years later, he’s returned to Earth to reconnect with his son Tony…and pump the babysitter full of jellied alien DNA.  Sam’s presence sets off a great deal of familial drama and conflict, and triggers some sort of telepathic revolution in Tony, who begins bringing his toys to life and sending them on missions of murder.  The film ends with Sam sloughing off his human skin and escorting Tony, who has begun to slough as well, into space.  It spawned two unrelated sequels.

3) INSEMINOID (aka HORROR PLANET; 1981)

An archaeological expedition on a barren, distant planet, excavating the buried remains of a long-dead alien civilization, is marred when Sandy is raped by an alien monster and pumped full of ET Baby Batter.  She’s not just knocked up — she’s going to have a twin pair of bouncing bug-eyed monsterlings, which establish a psychic (and psychotic) link with their mother.  This link grants Sandy superhuman strength, an overwhelming desire to protect her unborn children at any cost, and a raging taste for tasty, tasty human flesh.  Her former colleagues are forced to decide between trying to save her and trying to save themselves.

2) PREDATOR (1987)

Say it with me now: “GET TO DA CHOPPA!” Largely a blend of 1985′s COMMANDO and a joking idea to pit Rambo against an alien boxer for RAMBO IV, PREDATOR nevertheless follows a familiar formula: A group of individuals in an isolated location (in this case, the Central American jungle) are beset by an alien creature that picks them off one at a time and which their weapons are effectively useless against.  The twist here is that the extraterrestrial is a sentient being, representative of a technologically-advanced culture, instead of an instinct-driven animal creature.  Cast includes Ahnuhld, Bill Duke, Carl Weathers, Jesse Ventura and Kevin Peter Hall as the titular Predator.  Stan Winston handled the Predator suit design.

1) THE THING (1982)

Ah, John Carpenter’s THE THING.  One of the few movies I’ll describe as “perfect.”  While, yes, a remake of 1951′s THE THING FROM ANOTHER WORLD and an adaptation of John W. Campbell’s 1938 novella “Who Goes There?”, you cannot deny that the success of ALIEN helped this film find financing, and again, it’s a story of a group of humans in an isolated, claustrophobic, cut-off environment forced to contend with an indestructible alien presence.  While the film largely focuses on the paranoia inherent in a shape-shifting alien and the inability to tell who’s been replaced, the film is also noteworthy for its chunkblower special effects courtesy Rob Bottin, who was only 22 at the time he did this film.  Makes me feel like I’m wasting my life, that’s for damn sure…

***

Alright readers, that’s it for me this time around.  Please be sure to send your congratulations and well-wishes to Wes and Ash on their expanded family, either in the comments, on the Facebook page, or via email.  Until next time, Brothers and Sisters of the Psychotronic Video World!

Oedipus complexes, Murderous Monsignors, and Killer Children! All in store for this week’s American Horror Story Asylum!

Bloody Face (Present Day) calls 911 to report the three dead “imposters.” He didn’t kill Leo, but the three phony Bloody Faces are his doing. After finding Leo, the officers realize that he’s a newlywed after talking to his sister. Where’s Teresa? Of course she’s on a slab with Bloody Face.

A little girl is brought to Briarcliff. It’s revealed by her mother that she killed another little girl but covered it up when she talked to police. Mom abandons her at Briarcliff, so Mary Eunice pals around with her. She tells her that the other little girl deserved it. Also, that she’s smarter than everyone else, and just needs to learn to defend herself. She ends up going home and murdering her siblings and mom, with the same cover up story as before.

Thredson explains to Lana that he basically has some mommy issues. She abandoned him at a young age and he never really knew a motherly touch. So he learned about his disorder. He studied psychology. He learned about skin when he first encountered a cadaver. And it only furthered his craving for touch. So he had to take the skin when it was fresh. Warm. But now, Lana is here. So he doesn’t need to take skin. He has a mommy now. Kit’s also in prison, pissed off that Thredson ratted him out.

Monsignor Howard kills Shelly in the hospital when he is supposed to give her Last Rites. Confronting Arden, we learn that Howard had given Arden free reign when it came to patients and testing. To create an immune booster. The problem is that it completely takes away most of the humanity in the humans it’s tested on. Howard has to fire Sister Jude. She’s the only real threat to their operations, since Howard does not want to reveal himself and potentially go to prison for the atrocities at Briarcliff. Oh yeah totally forgot that Arden is almost certainly a Nazi. All we need is a fingerprint.

Before Jude leaves, she has a glass of brandy with Arden. For the fingerprint. Meanwhile, Mary Eunice has found out about the Nazi hunter, and goes to kill him. Jude walks in with the final piece of evidence to find him dead.

The whole episode ends with the bit about the future Bloody Face having Mrs. Adam Levine held captive.

So how old is future Bloody Face? Will Kit escape the electric chair? Will Jude really have to go to Pittsburgh to run a home for wayward girls? I LOVE DR THREDSON / BLOODY FACE. I love him more than Tate in the first season of AHS. What about you guys? Opinions? Comment away here or on The Blood Sprayer’s Facebook page!

Hello, Brothers and Sisters of the Psychotronic Video World! I recently got a stack of screeners from Wes, and it’s time to sit down and give them a good watching.  Most of them are from Chemical Burn Entertainment, a distribution company with a…questionable history for me.  Some of the worst garbage I’ve ever had the misfortune to review has been released through Chemical Burn.  On the other hand, some quality stuff has been released through Chemical Burn as well.  So let’s take a look at three of these films:

COMMUNITY COLLEGE (2012)

COMMUNITY COLLEGE is a crazy love story between four dudes and their ability to get free drinks.  When their beloved dive bar is about to close its doors forever, it’s up to four dopey, alcoholic, bar flies to save it.  With the genius plan of actually completing their last few college credits to cash in on a windfall of money from congratulatory greeting cards from friends and family, our heroes embark on an “educational” journey of a lifetime.

First Impression: Jesus, this movie is LOUD.  The audio is mixed extremely high, forcing me to scramble for the remote to crank it down to just north of mute in order to hear it at normal volume.  The screenwriter is pretty clearly a fan of Tarantino’s writing, with characters engaging in long, pointless conversations about pop culture ephemera.  The TV show Family Guy as well, given the film’s tendency towards ridiculous segues and stupid jokes.  Case in point — a couple jokes are followed by rimshots, followed by a nameless extra popping up to announce “Sorry! Dropped my drumkit!”

The thing that killed the film for me was the music.  There’s a number of songs in the film and they’re just plain lousy, including such modern day classics as “I Sucked Six Dirty Dicks.”  At least the film can admit it.

NACHO MOUNTAIN (2012)

Keefer has a talent.  He can eat…A LOT.  But it’s not until after getting fired from his job, and almost getting arrested, that Keefer decides to start an underground food eating competition.  After the health crazed Mayor Fingstal and his cronies Officers Slivjack and Biggsley catch wind of it, all hell breaks loose.  Then it all comes down to one final food battle from hell, THE NACHO MOUNTAIN!

First Impression: NACHO MOUNTAIN’s audio is mixed very quietly, almost the opposite of COMMUNITY COLLEGE.  The film itself is kind of like “Takeru Kobayashi’s FIGHT CLUB,” and it’s amusing to see the great American ode to gluttony and sloth, the eating competition, made the focus of a film.  Moreso when it’s a matter of underground, vicious, winner-takes-all, loser-eats-a-bullet eating competitions.  It’s a film replete with hairy lardasses eating like dingos in a maternity ward, but the bulk of the humor in the film is predicated on farts and semen.  As such, I was shocked to see Wes’ name not listed prominently in the credits as inspiration for the film.

I definitely enjoyed NACHO MOUNTAIN a lot more than COMMUNITY COLLEGE, and not just because I’m a glutton and fascinated by competitive eating.  There was a similar Tarantino influence at play here, but it’s much more restrained, and the humor is more solidly integrated into the film.  It’s a silly little film that hangs together very nicely.

THE FLIRTING CLUB (2012)

Jamie is 29 going on 12.  A loser and a virgin to boot, he has one month to meet a real girl otherwise he has to marry Laura “the human pig” from next door, a marriage set up by his parents.  He’s hampered by his best mate Bill, stuck with a schoolboy infatuation for his smoking hot boss, has two left feet and zero dating skills, until an accidental encounter with his local flirting club gives him hope.

First Impression: NOPE, NOPE, NOPE nope nope nope.  No.  Just…No.  The worst of THE 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN crossed with the worst of DEUCE BIGALOW, MALE GIGOLO, compounded with the sort of fat stereotyping that disgusts me the most — the assumption that fat women are repulsive eating machines who smear everything across their face in a sort of “event horizon” before it disappears down their gullet, who’d eat a slice of pizza off a truck stop bathroom floor if no other fatties claimed it first.  I fucking hate this sort of stereotyping, let me just say.  And I found no enjoyment whatsoever in this film.

Definitely not “Wet Your Pants Funny!!!” I have to say.

***

Overall, on a scale from 1 to 10, I’m going to give NACHO MOUNTAIN a 7, COMMUNITY COLLEGE  a 4.5, and THE FLIRTING CLUB a 0.

Two new releases are dropping from our good friends at Breaking Glass Pictures, and I’m here to share the lowdown with ya’ll. Being a huge UFC fan as well (and this being a monster fight weekend), I wanted to have a little fun with these two new releases and play the reviews like a title fight. So, in the red corner we have the revenge/exploitation flick Dust Up staring Amber Benson (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) and in the blue corner is the supernatural horror flick 6 Degrees of Hell staring Corey Feldman (The Lost Boys, Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter).  Who is worthy of your independent bucks this month?  Let’s take a look at the tape!

Up first is Dust Up.  Dust Up is about Jack (Aaron Gaffey), a one-eyed Iraq veteran who’s moved to the desert for some peace and quiet.  His only neighbor and friend is Mo (Devin Barry), a man who’s moved away from the Indian Casino life to the desert to try and find his roots (while living in a solar powered tee-pee).  Jack is the lone handyman for the area, and one day he gets a call from Ella (Benson) who has some issues with her plumbing.  Ella is a new mom, and her deadbeat husband Herman (Travis Betz) is a roadie for Hoobastank that has a serious drug problem.  As luck would have it, the day Jack enters Ella’s life is also the day Herman returns home in dire need of $3500 that he owes his dealer Buzz (Jeremiah Birkett).  Jack offers to help Ella and Herman, but only has a third of the cash on him.  Buzz doesn’t accept the partial payment, and things get ugly real fast.

I will admit when I first sat down to watch Dust Up I was expecting the movie to be played a lot straighter than it was, but Dust Up is definitely an action/comedy.  I didn’t take to the comedy for the first third or so of the movie, but once the action picked up and the jokes got funnier, I was along for the ride.  Dust Up is littered with plenty of violence, sex, and cannibalism to easily earn it the exploitation label.   I’ve gotta give Jeremiah Birkett his due for the over the top performance as Buzz.  Buzz was the perfect bad guy for the twisted movie that Dust Up turned out to be.  I also wanna praise the always lovely Amber Benson as Ella.  Being the only normal character in a world full of crazy helped give the movie a solid nucleus, and she did a great job as a new mother who wants nothing more than to keep her young daughter safe.

Now we head over to the blue corner to take a look at 6 Degrees of Hell.  6 Degrees of Hell is about June (Nicole Cinaglia), a young woman who was born with psychic abilities.  She does her best to hide her abilities, as nothing good ever comes from them.  After one such reading at a little get together, one of her friends ends up dead.  Now the movie switches focus to June’s friends Chris (David J. Bonner) and Kellen (Joe Raffa).  Chris and Kellen are working for “Uncle Jack” (Brian Gallagher) to help set up his Haunted Hotel attraction to open during the Halloween season.  Uncle Jack has been given a number of objects from another psychic to use in his attraction, but she warns them that they are possessed.  Meanwhile, Erik (Kyle Patrick Brennan) is the host of  DeadTV, a paranormal ghost hunters program.  Erik left town after the mysterious death of his sister, and has returned to follow Uncle Jack’s acquisition of said haunted objects, as well as his curiosity in June. Needless to say, eventually demons are unleashed on the workers of the Haunted Hotel on opening night to wreck havoc on the small town.

There is a lot going on in 6 Degrees of Hell.  A lot.  Too damn much as it turns out.  There are way too many characters, and way too many subplots sprinkled throughout the 90 minute run-time of the movie.  I believe 6 Degrees of Hell would’ve been much better off with half the cast and subplots completely hacked from the movie, and a little extra time added to the one or two that really matter.  As it is, it is a bit of a challenge to sit through the hour plus waiting for the movie to get violent and bloody.  I will say though, when things finally resort to the Haunted Hotel, the movie kicks some serious ass.  I am a huge fan of haunted attractions, and the way the movie mixed in the kills with the clueless guests that continue walking through thinking it’s all part of the show is fantastic.  It’s too bad you have to sit through so much other stuff to finally reach the exciting conclusion, because it really was a great time.  Oh, and for those of you wondering about Corey Feldman, he’s completely pointless.  He plays a paranormal investigator that is listening to a police officer telling him about all the strange occurrences that make up the movie.  He’s completely there for poster art only, and I’m sorry but in 2012 that is not appealing poster art.  I was a Feldman fan back in the day (honestly who didn’t wanna be Tommy Jarvis??) but those days are long gone.

Okay, so after looking over both Dust Up and 6 Degrees of Hell we go to the judges scorecards for a decision, and if it came down to only one movie I’d have to recommend Dust Up.  The over the top Buzz really made the movie a blast (once I caught on with the comedy aspect) and it is a fun little indy film.  I do have to give 6 Degrees of Hell some honest props for that bad ass Haunted Hotel scene, however the other hour plus of movie fails miserably for me to wholeheartedly recommend it.  Look for both of these movies out this month from Breaking Glass Pictures, and as always support independent cinema!

Eli Roth’s at it again! And I don’t know about you guys, but that makes me super wet.

Figured that since it was a two-part episode, we’d do a doublewide edition! I Am Anne Frank.

I’m going to try to shorten things up and give it to you as quickly as possible, because there’s a lot of information.

Part 1.

A woman gets brought to Briarcliff. She’s Anne Frank. No, seriously. Anne Frank. Kit and Grace are downstairs in the kitchen. Grace reveals that she was framed for the murder of her parents. So that’s why she’s there. Kit has a meeting with Dr Thredson where the good doctor makes a deal with him. Basically if Kit can help him convince the courts that he’s crazy by confessing to the murders, he’ll be locked up forever instead of fried in the electric chair. Furious that he has to admit to something he hasn’t done, Kit goes down and pounds some dough in the bread making area. Kit and Grace bang one out real quick and are caught by a guard. They’re put in solitary, and Kit is given Grace’s real story. She actually murdered her parents. Surprise surprise. Back in the common room, Anne Frank accuses Arden of being the goddamned Nazi that he is. She saw him in Auschwitz. She shows her prison tat. Some cops show up to talk to Sister Jude about the prostitute that Arden assaulted. They think he might be Bloody Face because of what the girl saw in the pictures. Sister Jude talks to the Monsignor, but since she was a drunken idiot during the storm, he tells her to focus on her own problems. He then calls Arden to tell him that people are catching on to him. HE KNOWS. Dr Thredson is trying to ‘cure’ Lana by showing her scantily clad women and exposing her to nauseating drugs. Aversion / conversion therapy. He even has a young buck come in for her to check out and masturbate to. Yeah, it’s not working. Back to Kit and Grace in solitary, he tells her that he knows the real story. She claims her father sexually abused her for years. When daddy sold the horses, it was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Murder time! Kit confesses to Jude that he must have killed the women, and repents. Arden finds Anne and takes her to his murder room / surgery boudoir. She has a gun though. She shoots Arden in the leg and opens the nearby door to find Shelly! Kinda mutate-y and covered in boils.

At this point I have some suspicions about characters. I no longer trust Dr Thredson. He’s too innocent. I still love that the Monsignor is very much a minimal part of the story, and still has so many secrets. ONWARD!

Part 2.

Sister Jude is working with some sort of Nazi hunter I suppose. He lost “everyone” in the war. He’s a Jew too. Anne Frank’s husband shows up. Her real name is Charlotte. She’s been in some kind of psychosis ever since she read “The Diary.” He just wants to take her home. So he does. And that’s the end of it. Kit and Grace are going to be sterilized so that they cannot reproduce. A sort of mental surgery. Oh yeah, and Shelly? Sister Mary Eunice dropped her off at a children’s school to be found. Sick, but hilarious. Since Kit confessed in the last episode, Jude takes pity on him and he will not be sterilized. Grace is gonna get it though. She apparently gets abducted just like Kit did in Episode 1, and sees Alma, Kit’s supposedly dead wife. Sister Jude goes back to her old ways. Dark red lipstick, alcohol, promiscuous sex, the whole shebang.

Lana is going to escape with Dr Thredson, and does so successfully. Only problem is well, him. He turns on a lamp, and we see some circular darkened areas on the shade. He offers her a mint in a bowl. Oh. Those dark areas were nipples. That bowl is a skullcap. She asks to use the restroom and stumbles upon his hobby area. Skin, that’s the material he uses to make lamps, he says. Trapdoor’d! Kit finds Grace in the common area, bleeding. Cops come in to arrest him for the murders. Remember that confession Thredson made him give? Arden gives Anne Frank a lobotomy after her husband brings her back. It’s not the end for her yet. She becomes an almost robotic, perfect wife.

One less person to tell on Dr Arden. Lana wakes up in a pristine tiled room. A frozen woman lies next to her. It’s her lover. Thredson tells Lana that she’s going to win a Pulitzer for telling “his story.” He also tells her to give her lover a kiss. He then puts on the Bloody Face mask.

So everyone’s getting a lot of shit thrown at him or her, yeah? Dr Thredson is Bloody Face. Dr Arden is definitely a Nazi. Shelly is a creature. Kit is going to fry. Grace is sterilized and possibly knows how to get to Alma. Sister Jude is a slut. Mary Eunice is awesome, and is still the fucking devil. Lana is trapped, and has to witness every aspect of Bloody Face’s killings.

Personally, I love Zachary Quinto’s portrayal of Thredson. He’s so evil. So calculating. So very split personality. So what do you think? Will Lana escape? Will Kit be freed? Are there aliens? Is Alma alive? When will we see that bastard Arden get what he deserves?

Not much brings a bigger smile to my twisted little face than watching one of my favorite actors, which brings me to a press release I got for ya. Director Joshua Hull (Beverly Lane) is proud to announce that horror icon Bill Mosley (The Devil’s Rejects, Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part 2) is attached to star in The Ballad of Sadie Grace.  Little is known about the flick at this time, but Mosley is signed on to play a small town sheriff who has been hunting local legend “Sadie Grace” for years.

The script was written by stand up comedian Josh Arnold (The Impersonators) and will be directed by Hull.  Bryan Wilson (Underground Entertainment: The Movie) is set to produce, and David M. Brewer (Insidious) will be Director of Photography.  Production is set to begin sometime in mid-2013.  Feel free to check out the official website here, and keep a look out for any further updates here as we get them!

As we continue to get closer and closer to winter here in Northwest Ohio, it was refreshing to have a movie all about heat dropped on my lap. 247°F (the latest from Anchor Bay Entertainment) actually came out two weeks ago, but thanks to the over-worked postal service delivering political garbage by the wheelbarrowful, it somehow was lost. No worries, let’s take a look at 247°F.

The movie opens with Jenna (Scout Taylor-Compton) riding in a car with her boyfriend, before an accident leaves him dead, and her stranded in the car waiting for help.  We then quickly jump ahead three years where Jenna’s bff Renee (Christina Ulloa) is setting up a trip with her boyfriend Michael (Michael Copon) and one of his besties Ian (Travis Van Winkle) in an isolated cabin.  Once there, they meet Uncle Wade (Tyler Mane) who makes a hell of a batch of moonshine.  After lots of shots and beers, it seems like a good time to try out the sauna out back.  However, a fight between Renee and Michael causes the uber-intoxicated Michael to storm off upset, and that’s when the rest of the group realize they are trapped inside the sauna.  Can they get out before their bodies reach the deadly temperature of 247°F?

247°F is a tough movie for me to review.  I admit I was sucked in by the simplicity of the story, people stuck in a heated sauna and what will they do?  Situations like this are much more horrific to me and work better than a monster movie.  However, for the most part the movie was a paint by numbers thriller that’s been done before, and much better I might add.  On the upside you have a group of attractive people in there unmentionables that you get to look at for an hour, and you have a couple solid performances from horror remake darlings Taylor-Compton (the shitty Halloween remakes) and Van Winkle (the equally shitty Friday the 13th remake).  On the downside, the script is bland, dialog clunky, and no suspense.  When you’re doing a survival movie (I immediately think of Open Water or Frozen as an example) suspense is really the driving force to keep the movie going, and that was sorely missing here.  It also doesn’t help when half your cast is so unlikeable you want them to die.

All in all 247°F is a mixed bag.  I enjoy the survival horror genre as a whole so I was interested in the movie, but it was overall so mediocre I can’t say I was thoroughly impressed.  If you are a fan of the genre, I’d recommend a rental before a purchase.

I’ve got a juicy tidbit to drop with everyone today, an exclusive first look at Mourningside Production’s latest entitled Nightmares Through the Needle.  Nightmares Through the Needle is an omnibus throwback to the days of Amicus Films classics Tales From the Crypt and Vault of Horror.  The wraparound story is about a family who moves into a new house, and finds a record player in the attic.  One night the young boy sneaks up in the attic to spin some vinyl, each containing a different story on it.  The stories included are Brookview (directed by Justin “Shape999″ Williams, Up Jumped the Devil (directed by Daemon McConnaughey), and Stares From the Staircase (directed by Richard “Pleatherface” Donahue).  Little is known about each individual title, but with Nightmares Through The Needle set to be unwrapped this December, keep a lookout here for more info as soon as we have it!  Check out the teaser trailer below!!

Slutty women, zombies and big green men! All in a night’s work for this week’s American Horror Story: Asylum!

We start off in the present day. Theresa’s trying to get away from Bloody Face who has just stabbed Leo to death. Surprise surprise! He’s not dead. He knocks Bloody Face over and Theresa stabs him. As they run out through the asylum together, two more masked men pop out and shoot them. Dead. They take off their masks and remark about how they shouldn’t have killed their friend, but the one sure as hell got a kick out of them dying. Leo’s arm is ripped off, I wonder what did that? Oh hey, real Bloody Face!

Sister Jude’s dealing with some real emotional stuff. Remember that we found out she hit and killed a little girl? It’s starting to haunt her. A newspaper shows up in the mail from after the girl was killed. Seems she was never found. But this paper is 15 years old. Sister Mary Eunice, aka Beelzebub himself, is now turning everyone against each other. She wears red lipstick and tells Jude that Dr Arden told her she would like it. She kills “the Mexican,” as it’s pretty apparent that she’s the only one who sees Mary Eunice for what she is. Jude’s on the paranoia trail, thinking that Arden is trying to overthrow her, Dr. Thredson is manipulating her, and the patients are all out to get her as well. Dr Arden, meanwhile, is investigating that little chip that came out of Kit’s neck in the first episode. It’s attracted to Kit. Almost magnetically. Arden also asks Kit who he’s working for. My suspicions that he may be a Nazi war criminal are given more backing.

Sister Mary Eunice, again, she’s the fucking devil, approaches Arden later. In a scene almost too hot for basic cable, she tries to seduce him using some pretty intense language (read: juicy.) He calls her a whore. Lana is trying to get a message out to Wendy, the lesbian schoolteacher lover. She’s dead, remember? When Dr. Thredson goes to deliver the message, he finds some blood spots, and fears that maybe Kit isn’t Bloody Face after all. She decides that during their movie screening, (to distract from the huge storm coming through,) that she will try to escape, and this time she’s totally okay with working alongside Kit and Grace. Since, you know, he’s not a murderer of women. Before the film, Jude gets drunk, tormented by her past. It’s this drunken state that provides an out for the three amigos plus Shelly the nymphomaniac. When an orderly shows up, Shelly provides the distraction (blowjob) for the others to get out. Dr Arden defaces a statue of the Virgin Mary, and throws it to the ground, calling her a whore.

This is where I have to split the story a bit. These things are happening simultaneously, but to keep their stories straight, it’s going to be separate.

Kit, Grace and Lana are running out of the tunnel to freedom. They make it to the woods, and find the Mexican’s body. Ripped to shreds. Running away from the asylum, they finally find “the creatures” we’ve heard so much about from Arden and Mary Eunice. Are they human? Are they mutated? Whatever, they look and act like zombies. They are chased back into the asylum and into the movie screening. Jude says there are three charges missing- the Mexican, the “pinhead” and Shelly. They got off the hook this time. Oh yeah, Sister Jude runs into an alien in the hallways? Maybe that’s the other thing Arden’s been hiding.

At the same time, Arden has, I guess captured is the best word, Shelly. He tries to rape her, but can’t perform. He hits her over the head with a paperweight and she wakes up a little bit later. He tells her that Jude still thinks she’s missing. That she was a bird that tried to fly away. So he had to clip her wings. And now that Sister Jude thinks she’s escaped, no one will be looking for her. Zoom out. That his surgical skills are excellent. Her legs are amputated above the knee. She won’t be escaping any time soon.

Oh what a brilliant ending to a very intense episode. I’m starting to like Arden more and more. He’s just so evil that it transcends villainy. It’s real human evil. I’m not quite sure how to feel about the aliens and zombies yet, but I’m sure we’ll get some better explanations. How about you guys? How do you feel about graphic on screen blowjibbers? Is Jude actually being haunted, or is it all Mary Eunice’s doing? All I can say is that I want more Bloody Face, more Arden, and more Monsignor Howard (who doesn’t appear in this episode.) Let’s hear what your opinions are on the whole thing! Comment here, or on The Bloodsprayer’s Facebook Page!

Jeremy Power Regimbal brings us In Their Skin (formerly titled Replicas,) the latest from IFC Films. Mark and Mary Hughes (Josh Close and Selma Blair, respectively,) along with their son Brendon steal away to their cottage following a tragedy that has left them distant and broken. The new neighbors (James D’Arcy and Rachel Miner) drop by for a visit, and go quickly from curious to unsettlingly inquisitive. What comes next, albeit predictable, will leave you gasping for something a little more comfortable.

Shit, I should write the back of movie boxes. Anyway, JESUS CHRIST. I can’t honestly tell you how many times I let out an uncomfortable grunt during my viewing. It got to the point where people around me kept telling me it was just a movie. I’ve felt that same tightness in my chest, but only during a panic attack. It’s that good.

Aside from predictability, the storyline was well constructed. Say you’re a pyromaniac, yeah? And you have built a beautiful set of explosives. A long fuse triggers that finale. It’s the wait. The anticipation of everything blowing up according to the grand scheme. That fuse is just as magnificent as the denouement. This film is that fuse. And when it runs out, oh boy. Be ready.

Selma Blair and Josh Close do a wonderful job of depicting a broken couple. She already looks pretty depressed normally, but when you add in a little acting and makeup, you have a perfect downward spiral. Close has that cocky air about him, but deep down you can tell he’s a troubled man. A family man. Someone who would do anything to keep them safe. And as for D’Arcy and Miner, I didn’t even want them to win. And I love it when the villains win. D’Arcy keeps up a real unsettling tone while being welcoming at the same time.

Minimalism. Especially in effects. There are maybe two shots that required CG or practical effects. No more. And Regimbal still managed to keep me clutching my chest throughout.

As for my final opinion on the film? Amazing. “But Matt,” you say, “you said it was predictable!” Who gives a shit? If you allow yourself to truly immerse yourself in a film, as you should always, predictability means nothing. I still jumped even though I knew what was coming. And oh Lord, did it ever come.

In Their Skin is available right NOW OnDemand + Digital through IFC Entertainment, and will be in theatres November 9^th!

So I was trying to think of a name for people who follow my column here on The Bloodsprayer. AHShats? Asylumps? Who knows? We’re back after another riveting episode, this time revolving around an exorcism.

When we last left off, Theresa had just run into Bloody Face himself stalking the corridors of the abandoned asylum. He chases her for a bit and she tries to drag Leo into a room, but Bloody Face grabs him, and she locks herself in the room. Bloody Face then stabs Leo repeatedly in the chest, and after he’s good and holey, begins pounding on the door. This jump cuts to 1964, where Clea Duvall’s character, the lesbian school teacher who puts Lana in the asylum, is sitting talking with some friends. Turns out some trick or treaters showed up a night early, and that was the knock at the door. She’s determined to make things right for what she’s done. That is, up until the point where Bloody Face comes into her house and murders her. Hey! We’re back in the asylum. Turns out Lana has been writing things on small scraps of paper so she won’t forget them, and Sister Jude decides to make her forget. Hooray for electroshock therapy! Zachary Quinto’s character, Dr. Oliver Thredson also makes his first appearance. He is the psychiatrist sent to evaluate Kit’s sanity to see if he is fit to stand trial. First impression? Kit’s insane. The alien talk certainly didn’t help your case there buddy. There’s a boy being brought to the asylum. Name’s Jedd. Apparently he gutted a cow and ate the heart. Spoke in tongues and whatnot. Typical possession shit. So they bring in the exorcist. Cue Tubular Bells. Nah just kidding.

Exorcism is going as planned, but then the demon throws the exorcist across the room. We find out he’s going to be given his Last Rites. So who should watch over the boy for a moment? Sister Jude. Jedd starts revealing some of her secrets. Turns out she was quite the dish in her day. Singing, dancing with young men, drinking- the whole nine yards. She was driving home drunk and hit a little girl. Never even got out of the car. Cat’s out of the bag Sister Jude! You trollop! That’s a word, right? Trollop. Anyways, the Monsignor has to remove her from the room to stop attacking Jedd. Meanwhile, two other stories are going on. We have Dr. Arden who has invited an escort to his home. They are going to have dinner. He makes several references to how she is brave to have come over, you know, with a killer of women out and about. This is while he slices a nice roast, of course. It seems he is a man of fine taste, but also a man of dark secrets.

She finds a box containing pictures of women in various states of undress. Then a few of women tied up. Then a few of- OH FUCK THEY’RE ALL MUTILATED. He runs into the room and makes her get on the bed. She bites him, however and escapes as he’s left in pain on the floor. Jump back into the asylum. Lana has told Grace that she knows of a way out of the asylum. Grace wants Kit to be able to come, but Lana will not let him. Kit ends up protecting Lana by taking the notes she had written so she would not be caught with them. Jedd dies. Seems the exorcism has taken its toll on his body. In the last bit of movement from his body, the demon leaves, and the shockwave puts out the power in the asylum. Sister Mary Eunice faints. Lana and Grace come out of their rooms to see that this is their chance. When Kit tries to come too, Lana yells for guards to take him. The next day Lana is told that for helping to make sure the others did not escape, she is to be rewarded. She gets to pick out the cane and watch Kit and Grace get beaten. Kit takes full responsibility for Grace’s actions, and will be caned for the both of them. Sister Mary Eunice is sleeping in the infirmary, and here comes Dr. Arden. He preserves her modesty by pulling down her dress, and there’s a change in her attitude when she speaks to him. She’s no longer fragile and tearful. More confidant. After Arden leaves, she throws off the covers, and the crucifix falls off the wall, signifying that the demon has entered her.

This episode was intense. The exorcism particularly. Seeing everyone’s secrets revealed was pretty cool, but we didn’t get quite everyone. I’m excited to see how the Mary Eunice possession plays out. Hopefully Arden gets some just desserts for the women he may or may not have killed. It’s shaping up to be a pretty good season. Is anyone else noticing possible ties to the original season? Maybe some hostility between characters? Still not enough Monsignor Howard for my tastes, and not enough Kit, as weird as that seems. I’m sure the creators want us to root for Kit and Sister Jude, but I want to root for the villains! Anyone who knows me, and anyone in the horror fandom, knows we want the villain to win. My biggest problem is that the villains are so undefined. And when they are defined, they’re so damn evil that I can’t get behind them. Typical horror stuff? Yes. Written in a beautiful way that makes me hungry for more? Absolutely. Join me next week for the recap and discussion here, and on The Bloodsprayer’s Facebook Page!

I wanna take a quick minute to share something a little different for all of you out there celebrating Halloween. Filmmaker/musician Henrique Couto recently took some time to record Don’t Listen In The Dark: Volume 2 (which you can get via digital download or limited edition CD here). DLITD is an audio collection of original short stories read to you by Henrique.  The CD includes the following tracks:

1.  Cell Count – an over-confident prison warden begins to get too much power over the inmates.  That is, until a nasty storm rolls into town….

2.  Fair Scare – a group of bank robbers run into some issues when it’s time to split up the cash…

3.  Paranoid – a musical interlude of ukulele infused pop punk…

4.  Just One Drink – a womanizer drugs women to get what he wants out of the date….

5.  Grave Rubbing – a lonely man spends his evenings in an empty graveyard, until he gets a visitor…

I’m not gonna break down each individual story, but DLITD instantly made me think back to my younger days reading “Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark”.  I swear in junior high those books were constantly checked out of the school library, and I was one of the guilty ones who borrowed them numerous times.  The tales that Henrique tells are all exceptionally well written, and adding in some background music and sound effects (save the last track which was recorded in an actual graveyard at 1am) really gives them an old school radio show feel to the album.  Honestly, the stories would make a damn fine film anthology if Henrique ever decided to film them (leaps and bounds above the atrocious Deadtime Stories collections that George A. Romero loaned his sacred name too).

In the end, if you’re looking for something truly original this Halloween, check out Don’t Listen In The Dark.  It has a lot of old school charm to it, and would make for a fine companion on a long car ride alone in the dark.  Also of note to Bloodsprayer readers, Henrique’s last genre film Bleeding Through (review here) is set to be released nationwide this January, and we hope to have some news on a new slasher project that he has in the works soon.  And as always, support independent cinema (and audio books?).

Time to take a look at some no budget slasher fun people!  Everyone Must Die! is the latest from Steve Rudzinski.  I honestly knew nothing about Steve, but did get to meet him for a couple minutes at Cinema Wasteland and he came across as an intelligent fan of the genre .  So, let’s see what kinda mad skills he’s got behind the camera.

A serial killer clad in black from head to toe is hacking and slashing his way across the country from town to town. One man has made it his life’s work to track down the killer (who murdered his sister) and exact some sweet revenge.  The next strike from our killer is a group of college kids (featuring local celebrity rapper MC Pink) camping in the woods.  Shortly after the carnage, another group of college kids meet to have a barbecue in honor of MC Pink, when once again the unstoppable killing force shows up.

Everyone Must Die! is exactly what no budget independent horror should be, fun.  It’s pretty obvious that Steve is a fan of 80′s slasher movies, and he does a fantastic job mixing in enough comedy to poke fun at them while still showing his love for the genre.  The movie is littered with lots of blood, boobs, and kills and really thats why we watch slasher movies.  Keep in mind, that this is definitely a horror-comedy, but the laughs are real and never overtake the horror aspect.  Finally, the twist near the end also is one of the most fantastic ideas in slasher movie history!  Well done!

If you’re like me and enjoy watching independent horror films made for the love of the genre, then Everyone Must Die! should be right up your alley.  I would love to see what Mr. Rudzinski could do with some real cash, because he definitely understands what horror fans are looking for in a movie (unlike some of the major studio garbage we are force fed).  Everyone Must Die! comes highly recommended, and as always, support independent horror!

For more information on Everyone Must Die!, check out the official website.

Time for another giveaway here at the Bloodsprayer!  This time we have two Blu-ray copies of 247°F for you all to fight over!  247°F is the claustrophobic tale of some pretty college kids trapped in a sauna that won’t cool down.  Winning the Blu-ray is easy, just leave a valid name and email address below, along with an answer to my lame question.  The contest runs till this Sunday, and is only available to those that live in the USA (sorry, no PO Boxes).  Check out the press release and trailer below.  Good luck to all!

What is your favorite Halloween candy?

ANCHOR BAY FILMS LEAVES YOU TWO DEGREES AWAY FROM DEATH WITH 247°F

On October 23rd, Anchor Bay Films presents a claustrophobic horror film that gives you no choice but to sweat with 247°F , starring such genre favorites as Scout Taylor-Compton (Rob Zombie’s Halloween & Halloween II), Christina Ulloa (“Californication,” “Charmed”), Travis Van Winkle (“Happy Endings,” Friday the 13th remake, Transformers), and Tyler Mane (Rob Zombie’s Halloween & Halloween II, X-Men).

Jenna (Scout Taylor-Compton) is traumatized when she is trapped in a small vehicle after a car accident, forced to observe the mangled corpse of her fiancée in the driver’s seat until help arrives. Fast forward three years, Jenna and her three friends travel to a lakeside cabin for a carefree weekend. The fun quickly becomes a nightmare when three of them end up locked in a compact, hot sauna. As fear sets in and Jenna reconnects with the horror of “the incident,” every minute counts and every degree matters as they fight for their lives in heat that is quickly approaching 247°F – the temperature when the human body expires. See Scout Taylor-Compton and Tyler Mane reunited for the first time since the Rob Zombie’s Halloween films in a thriller that will satisfy just about everything — but your thirst.

Man, what a shitty weekend. I know you don’t come here to listen to me whine and bitch, but that was one weekend I’d soon like to forget. So, late last night I decide I need to watch something to hopefully get me out of this funk. I’ve been meaning to watch and review Night of the Tentacles for a couple weeks, and I was hoping it would be just the right mix of horror and comedy to help my depressed state. Did it succeed?

Night of the Tentacles is all about Dave.  Dave is a lonely man who does graphic design work out of his apartment.  One day he suffers a pretty severe heart attack, and learns that if he doesn’t get a new ticker, his days are numbered.  Shortly after returning home from the hospital, Dave meets Esther, his secret crush who lives in the apartment below him.  She heard about his bad health and wanted to bring him some cookies.  Dave takes the opportunity to finally ask Esther to hang out, which she accepts.  However, soon after Esther leaves Dave has another visitor, Lucifer!  Lucifer wants to help Dave out with a new heart.  Dave decides he’s going to die soon anyways, so what the hell?  What Dave didn’t know, is that his new “heart” was gonna be left inside a small chest on his table, would talk to him in the sweetest British accent, would need to be fed two humans a week to keep him happy, and had four tentacles he wasn’t afraid to use if needed.  Can Dave keep his new ticker happy long enough to win the girl??

Thank God for Dustin Mills!  Night of the Tentacles is his third feature, and even though I really enjoyed Puppet Monster Massacre and Zombie A-Hole, this is easily my favorite!  Night of the Tentacles felt like a love letter to another of my favorite directors, Frank Henenlotter.   You have some obvious homage to Basket Case and Brain Damage that should be evident to any fans, but I also believe I saw a little Frankenhooker in the lighting choices, as well as Bad Biology in the problematic love story.

Night of the Tentacles has everything I’m looking for in schlocky no budget cinema:  blood, boobs, slime, tentacles, and laughs!  The movie is laugh out loud funny (even in the sour mood I was in while watching) thanks to some very strong dialog and a stand out performance by Brandon Salkil as Dave.  Brandon was obviously digging into his inner Bruce Campbell with some of his over the top facial expressions and over acting.  On the technical side of thing the movie looks great.  The effects work Dustin pulls off on his own continue to improve from movie to movie.  Add in the great lighting and camera work, and it’s hard to believe the movie was made for peanut shells.

So in the end, Night of the Tentacles was just what the doctor ordered.  How could a movie that opens with a dueling masturbation scene not put a smile on my sick and twisted little face?  For people interested in the perverse side of independent cinema, Night of the Tentacles is for you.  On a side note, both of Dustin’s other features Puppet Monster Massacre and Zombie A-Hole (review here) are available nationwide at all media outlets worth a damn.  Look for info here on his next two projects as well, Bath Salts: The Movie and Kill That Bitch!  Finally, as always, support independent horror cinema.

Hello again, Brothers and Sisters of the Psychotronic Video World! Today’s review, a screener placed in my hands by Wes, comes to us from writer-director Sean Stone, son of the famous Oliver Stone. Now, the senior Stone was one of us for a while before he started making Big Important Movies — anyone remember SEIZURE, with Jonathan Frid? How about THE HAND, with Michael Caine? And Hell, the man was screenwriter for CONAN THE BARBARIAN and SCARFACE, two movies that sired a metric shitload of our kind of low-budget exploitation ripoffs. What I’m saying is, I have high hopes for the younger Stone’s new horror film, GREYSTONE PARK (released in some markets as THE ASYLUM TAPES or GRAYSTONE).

A pre-title scroll reveals that in 2009, a group of young documentarian filmmakers went into a long-abandoned, allegedly-haunted insane asylum to film.  This is their story.

We’re introduced to Sean (Sean Stone; every “character” shown is presented as simply the actor playing them.  These are true events, after all) and his friends as they discuss haunted locations — specifically Greystone Park, a famously-abandoned mental asylum wherein amoral doctors performed sadistic medical experiments on the patients.  They decide to gear up and investigate Greystone Park for themselves.  What they find, however, suggests that there is something to the old ghost stories after all…

I’m not sure if Sean Stone has made a found-footage horror film, or a satire of the found-footage horror films that have dominated the industry for the past dozen years.  In some ways, GREYSTONE PARK feels like a distillation of everything we’ve seen from THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT through PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 4, albeit a flawed distillation.

Really, what it reminds me of is an apocryphal story in which a man asks composer Frederic Chopin to listen to his son play.  The young boy is seated in front of the piano, and proceeds to play one of Chopin’s compositions.  When he was done, Chopin smiled, tousled the boy’s hair, and said, “You know the notes.  Someday you will play the music.”  GREYSTONE PARK hits the notes, but there’s an underlying element that is missing, and the film suffers for it.

Part of the problem, for me, is the film’s utter stinginess in giving the audience anything to be afraid of.  We’re not even given proper jump scares; we do, however, get lots and lots of sequences of something happening just off-screen, and footage of the actors reacting to it in terror.  I could tolerate one or two of these; but after the third round I was ready to see what the hell they’re screaming about.  It could have very easily been nothing; these kids were psyching themselves up to be terrified before they even set foot on the asylum grounds.  To make matters worse, the film’s musical score (yes, a found footage film with a soundtrack; much of the time it’s very subtle, however) alerts us to these pseudo-jump scares before they happen with a Bernard Herrmann-style crescendo.

It just doesn’t work to try and scare the audience while also alerting them that a scare is coming.

The real disappointment is that this film did have the seeds of some very good ideas in it, and they just weren’t allowed to develop.  The ghosts of Greystone Park manipulate and terrorize the mortal cast through electronic devices — making the lights flicker, delivering psychic disturbances via an old cassette-player, etc.  The film also hints tantalizingly at the notion that the ghosts are using the camera upon which the film is being recorded to manipulate and terrorize the audience viewing the film, but doesn’t go anywhere with this and really just leaves the idea flapping in the breeze.

Overall, I was underwhelmed by GREYSTONE PARK.  I felt like it didn’t deliver anything new, and what original ideas it had were buried under false jump-scares and woefully underlit scenes (Yes, I know it’s a haunted, abandoned insane asylum.  That does not mean I’ll sit through long sequences of an almost completely black screen, with only screaming to tell me my TV hasn’t died).  Unless you’ve got a serious hard-on for seeing every found-footage movie ever, or are a desperate completist to see every film Oliver Stone has ever acted in (he has a cameo at the end here), I’m going to say give this one a pass.

American Horror Story is back! The brand new season, with a brand new title, Asylum, premiered last night on FX.  Brad Falchuk and Ryan Murphy tickle our horror bones once again, with a different setting this go around. And yes, we have a horror bone. It’s similar in function to the funny bone, however it’s a hurt that makes you want to call someone Daddy and wear a latex suit.

Set simultaneously in 1964 and present day, the show centers around Briarcliff Manor, a former tuberculosis ward and sanitarium for the criminally insane.  Adam Levine and Jenna Dewan play Leo and Theresa, a couple on their “haunted honeymoon” visiting the asylum in the present. There are three leading forces at work in the asylum. Monsignor Timothy Howard (Joseph Fiennes) runs the place. He has put in charge of the day-to-day operations Sister Jude (Jessica Lange,) and Dr. Arthur Arden (James Cromwell.) Kit Walker (Evan Peters) is admitted to the asylum as a patient. We also have Grace (Lizzie Brocheré.) True to her name, she seems to be the only good thing going for Kit while he’s imprisoned. Sarah Paulson plays Lana Winters, a reporter who is trying to get a story on a serial killer staying at the asylum. And finally, to round out your main cast, Lily Rabe plays Sister Mary Eunice, the timid right hand of Sister Jude.

Fair warning: There are one metric SHIT TON of spoilers ahead, so don’t read if you don’t want the story revealed.

Leo and Theresa, exploring the asylum, come across a sealed door, after having a bit of late night cable TV sex. Best part of that? Adam Levine licking his hand before going for the first thrust. That’s how you know the man gets a lot of ‘tang. Back to the story! Leo reaches in to film with his phone, and get his arm ripped off at the bicep. Looks pretty painful. Then, we’re treated to the new season’s intro- just as creepy as the first season, but in a different way. It hits a little harder. So now Kit’s hanging out at the gas station he works at. Some guys play a prank on him, and he shrugs them off. This is about the point where it starts to get real. He goes home to his wife, who is African American. They have to hide it. Think about that. We’re in the midst of the civil rights movement at this point in the show. Heavy stuff. Kit hears something and goes outside. Bright lights, and a screaming wife. Abducted. He gets fucking abducted. We find out after he’s admitted that he’s “Bloody Face,” the serial killer named for skinning his victims, and most recently, wearing their skin as a mask.

He proclaims his innocence, but Sister Jude has other plans to get the sin out of him. He claims that whatever happened to him when he was abducted, “they weren’t human.” Sister Jude replies, “All monsters are human. You’re a monster.” We get a bit of character introduction for Grace and Spivey (Mark Consuelos,) when he decides to start a fight with Kit, and Grace tries to prevent it. After some time in solitary, Dr Arden takes Kit. Right before this we learn a few patients have gone missing. Four of them. All without families or records. Their bodies cremated, as Arden tells Jude. It seems he has a darker secret than his genetically modified plants. He begins to probe kit, to find out what makes him different, like several of the preserved brains he holds on his shelves. Slicing open his neck, he finds a small microchip, which sprouts legs and runs away. Meanwhile, Lana and Sister Mary Eunice run into each other in the woods outside as the latter dumps buckets of meat. It seems Mary Eunice and Arden are in cahoots and she is dumping the ground up bodies for some sort of creature in the woods. A bit of blackmail, and the Sister agrees to show Lana around a bit. During some exploration, Lana takes a fall after something grabs her, and is admitted to the asylum by her lover. Her lesbian relationship with a local third grade teacher can’t become public knowledge of course, and Sister Jude swindles her into signing the papers. Back to the present, and Theresa runs down the death chute to escape, and runs into none other than? Bloody Face. He’s still here.

I had some thoughts about the new direction. This isn’t about ghosts. It’s about the kind of real shit people have actually gone through. It’s about racism. It’s about taboo. It’s about sanity. It’s about sin. It’s no longer just a scary story. It is terror at it’s finest. And although this episode is all about establishing characters, there’s plenty more time for the proverbial shit to hit the fan. I’m wondering what sort of direction this will all go in. Did Kit kill anyone? It seems like everyone has a secret. From Dr. Arden’s experiments, which seem faintly akin to Josef Mengele, to Sister Jude’s sexual fantasies about Monsignor Howard, we’re all thinking of whose secrets will come out.

American Horror Story is on Wednesday Nights at 10pm EST on FX.

Feel free to post theories and comments on the article, I’d love to get feedback and other people’s opinions on what’s going on! I’ll be commenting back as quickly as possible, so post away!

It’s once again new release day in the US, and I got my hands on one that completely slipped in under the radar. Rites of Passage is a new movie out today on Blu-ray and DVD from Magnet Releasing.  The movie is so under the radar, it seems that the disk is out before the movie premiere this Thursday.

Welcome to U.C. Santa Barbara, one of the wealthiest and biggest party schools on the left coast.  Professor Nash (Stephen Dorff) teaches a class on the Chumash Indian tribe who used to live all along the coast of California.  His star pupil Nathan (Ryan Donowho) happens to know that his family’s ranch just outside of town was built over a Chumash burial ground, and he wants to hold a ceremony out there to earn some extra credit.  Needless to say his depressed brother Benny (Wes Bentley) lives out on the ranch, and he’s taken on a roommate in the equally messed up Delgado (Christian Slater).  See Benny has become addicted to making psychedelic tea with Jimsonweed, and he is currently in search of a bride who is supposed to die with him so that they can spend eternity together.  Meanwhile, Delgado is a man who’s lost everything.  His wife and son were killed by a drunk driver almost two years earlier, and he’s become a crazed drug user himself who talks to an imaginary sock monkey friend.  Eventually, our cast of college kids arrive at the family ranch.  Here’s where the final piece of the puzzle is inserted, Dani (Kate Maberly) who is a descendant of the Chumash, which makes her the perfect bride for Benny.  However, she’s also the young lady responsible for killing Delgado’s family.

Rites of Passage is one of those mixed bag kind of movies.  I can’t deny that I was entertained throughout most of the 102 minute run time, which when it comes down to it is the most important thing to me.  I grew up on the slasher craze of the 80′s, and the second half of Rites plays to my fanboyism.  There’s something about a group of way too rich and pretty college kids getting butchered that can put a smile on my face.

However, there are way too many negatives involved in Rites for me to wholeheartedly recommend it.  First off is the fact that everyone in the movie is a total douche bag.  After a few minutes with the cast of characters, I wanted to kill them.  It was tough to have much sympathy for Dani (spoiler alert…last girl) when she got off with just probation after killing two people while driving four times over the legal limit.  There were also way too many sub-plots that felt unnecessary, some of which just disappeared with little to no attention paid to them.  The other main issue I couldn’t look past was the random moments of black comedy that were sprinkled throughout the movie didn’t work for me.  I have no issues with making a horror-comedy, but you can’t play the movie 98% straight, then have Christian Slater talking to a sock monkey.  On a side note, Stephen Dorff is the worst college professor of all time.

When everything was said and done, Rites of Passage felt very middle of the road.  While I enjoyed myself while watching it, I didn’t care about any of the characters enough to get emotionally involved.  Still worth a look if you enjoy slasher films.

So, we’ve been less than shy about our coverage of Excision (available October 16th from Anchor Bay Films). First off, the trailer/ marketing campaign alone was enough to get me tight in the pants. I’ll admit, I was hopeful. I was yearning for this movie to be awesome. So many people I enjoy, so many morose concepts spun into one sordid and, potentially, kick ass tale. Granted, beyond the preceding trailers and press, I was merely going off of gut instincts. I’ve been burned before, though. I’ve hoped and prayed, left disappointed. It sucks. Excision was a time I didn’t want that to happen. Thanks to its writer/director Richard Bates Jr. and an INCREDIBLE performance from AnnaLynne McCord, today felt like my birthday, Christmas, and the first time I smoked weed all wrapped up in a sweet burrito.

Excision is truly a coming-of-age story. It is about a young woman named Pauline who is trying to do what so many teenage girls before her have done; trying to find her place in the world. She has a shitty relationship with her mother (Traci Lords) who is painfully overbearing. Pauline isn’t like the other girls, as the cliche goes. And she really isn’t-she isn’t boy crazy. She dreams of surgery. She has ambitions of a medical career. Those dreams are connected to both her sex drive and her overactive psyche. Not your average struggle. In addition to the usual bullshit that high school brings (catty bitches, slimy boys, nasty teachers), she has a younger sister suffering from cystic fibrosis in need of a lung transplant. All of that volatility culminates into a dramatic and explosive finale that hoists Excision to the top of the heap for 2012.

Excision is perfection. It is the type of film I long for every time I sit down to watch a movie. You hope to run this range of emotions but rarely is a film this giving. Richard Bates Jr. compiled the best elements of horror, black comedy, and tragic drama and succeeded. It’s success is derived from finding a great cast to deliver such insane material. First off, AnnaLynne McCord’s transformation for Excision is award worthy. Her performance as the sociopathic Pauline is magic. While it was intentional to portray her as a frank, methodical lunatic, it should be McCord who is credited for turning Pauline into the star she is. Her delivery is best described as “deadpan smirk”. Pauline knows she’s funny. But while other characters with this approach are considered “quirky”, Pauline most certainly is not. There’s nothing cutesy about her. Her thoughts and methods are dangerous. Without giving too much away, Pauline does ultimately want to do something great, but it makes her methods no less dangerous. That element is what gives McCord’s performance so much credence. If there ever was a role she was “born to play”, this is it.

The other breakthrough performance in Excision is from the always interesting Traci Lords. Lords portrays Pauline’s stuffy white bread mother with some demons of her own. Her pursuit for the picturesque family lifestyle is constantly disrupted by a daughter who does not fit her mold. Lords not only masters the demeanor necessary to play the role, but gives us glimpses into the mother’s past. She has experienced some terrible things and it comes through in the desperate attempt to maintain “perfection”. Traci Lords, who’s experienced her fair share of darkness, went somewhere personal for this role and came back with a level of intensity I’ve never seen her use. It was a reminder that beyond her notoriety, she is immensely talented. When you hit the final frames of the movie, prepare for an overwhelming wave of emotions that stem from the performances laid out by McCord and Lords.

With all the anticipation that lead up to Excision, I was uncertain that it was capable of living up to my personal expectations. Richard Bates met and exceeded that. He’s mastered a delicate balance. When dealing with such touchy (and taboo) subjects, it can be easy to exploit the ideas being examined. Excision juggles those swords and still manages to make the characters lovable. Even now as I type this, I am having a hard time properly conveying the strong feelings I have for this movie. It has awoken a fanboy-like obsession in me that has me opining over its greatness to anyone who will listen. Excision has hoist itself atop the best movies of 2012. Make sure you get your hands on this as soon as possible.

Since his 1984 debut in the original A Nightmare on Elm Street, the child murderer turned crazy dream ghost known as Freddy Krueger has been one of the most instantly recognizable icons of the horror genre.  He spawned a seven-movie franchise (plus a television series, a crossover film, and a remake) and singlehandedly turned New Line Cinema into not only a viable company, but an immensely profitable one.  Granted, it’s not the most solid franchise in the world, and over the years since the original franchise ended with 1994′s New Nightmare, Freddy has been the target of much derision in the horror community.  Citing anything from Krueger’s love of one-liners to the inconsistent series lore, I’d say that horror fans in general are quicker to distance themselves from the Elm Street films than almost any other long-lived franchise out there.

To be completely honest my own love for the character had long since retreated to a dusty and disused corner of my brain, a far cry from the days when I maintained the unwieldy e-mail handle “sonof100maniacs” back at the dawn of Hotmail.  When I ran across a lone copy of the recently released (and temporarily Best Buy exclusive) Nightmare on Elm Street blu-ray set though, that old devotion leapt back into the fray, and that very evening I was curled up on the couch with a pumpkin ale in one hand and a remote in the other, headed once again toward that old familiar town called Springwood.  A mere 48 hours later I was watching the credits roll on New Nightmare, and I knew without a doubt that this had been a trip worth taking.

One, Two, Freddy’s Coming For You

A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

 This is the one that spawned an empire, the low-budget lovechild of director Wes Craven and New Line Cinema, the little studio who could.  Freddy Krueger, a twisted child murderer burned alive by a mob of angry parents when he was released on a technicality, has returned years later to prey on the offspring of his executioners.  Nancy Thompson (Heather Langenkamp) looks on helplessly as her friends are brutally murdered one by one in their sleep by a mysterious knife-gloved psychopath who appears only in their nightmares.  I honestly think a lot of people, as they’ve grown up branched out into more niche horror titles, have forgotten how innovative this first film was.  The effects would have been impressive even on a much larger budget, and for something made under a million dollars, they’re incredible.  The first kill, where Nancy’s friend Tina is dragged up the wall and across the ceiling by an invisible force as she’s slashed to death in her sleep, is still in my opinion one of the scariest and best executed in horror history.

Thematically, the whole thing is nothing short of genius.  Previous slasher film victims tended to be irresponsible babysitters, pot smoking teenagers, and city kids poking around where they don’t belong.  I’m hard-pressed to think of any other movie where the victims are comprised almost entirely of innocent high school kids just trying to get some sleep.  Personally, I’ve never liked sleep and don’t quite trust the whole process, and I’ve spent my whole life fighting it as long as I can, so this is a concept that speaks to me on a much deeper level than most horror films.  Robert Englund’s portrayal of Freddy Krueger is also at its peak here, played with an unsettling focus that wouldn’t be matched again until the franchise came to an end.  He’s utterly unsympathetic, and relentless in the pursuit of his victims.

Three, Four, Better Lock Your Door

A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy’s Revenge (1985)

If there’s one thing the Elm Street franchise cannot be accused of, it’s a slow and gradual decline. This is my absolute least favorite of the entire franchise.  Wes Craven, believing that his original film was a complete entity and required no sequel, declined further involvement, but New Line had gotten a taste of that sweet Freddy cash and wasn’t about to turn down another truckload of it.  Craven was replaced by Jack Sholder, who had yet to make anything worth watching and still maintains that distinction to this day, and the first of many sequels was unleashed upon an eager public one short year after the original. Robert Englund was the only returning cast member, and the story picks up five years after the first film, when a new family moves into Nancy’s now-vacant home on Elm Street.

The new protagonist, Jesse Walsh, is plagued by nightmares immediately after moving into the house, and soon finds Nancy’s diary detailing the deaths of her friends and her own battle with Krueger.  The main conceit here is that Freddy is making a comeback, but wants a human vessel that he can occupy in the physical world, rather than being confined to dreams.  The story might have been salvageable if they’d stuck to that, but sometimes Freddy and Jesse are separate, sometimes Jesse morphs into Freddy, and the whole thing is kind of a mess.  I was ready to call it a night by the time Freddy was chasing dozens of teenagers around a swimming pool, killing a couple but mostly just waving his claw around and tipping things over, seemingly reluctant to take advantage of the “fish in a barrel” situation he’d been handed.  The film is also sprinkled here and there with an odd homoerotic subtext in the absence of the female lead that would become standard for the series, and Jesse himself is sporadically effeminate.  Not that this is a bad thing, but the story never really commits to it, so it comes across as inexplicable instead of interesting.  In the end, Freddy is defeated by someone refusing to believe in him, also the sole weakness of Tinkerbell.  All murders previously linked to Jesse while he was under Freddy’s control are presumably forgiven.

Five, Six, Grab Your Crucifix

  A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987)

Directed by Chuck Russel with a story by Wes Craven, the series’ third installment is a favorite for many people.  It’s my favorite of the “middle” films, and it features a ton of cool moments.  Original Nightmare heroine Nancy Thompson is back, this time interning at a psychiatric ward that has become home for the last surviving “Elm Street children”.  They’ve been labeled suicidal and their nightmares are dismissed as mass psychosis, despite beginning before any of them had even met.  Nancy defies hospital management and leads the group in a fight for their lives.  Freddy’s backstory gets fleshed out a little more here, as told by the ghost of his mother, Amanda Krueger.  As a young nun working at that very hospital in the 1940′s, Amanda was accidentally locked in a room for several days with a hundred violent inmates.  She was kept hidden and raped “hundreds of times”, and was found later on the brink of death and pregnant with Freddy, “the bastard son of a hundred maniacs”.  As far as backstories go for franchise horror, this one is undeniably chilling.  This marked a potential turning point for the series; with this knowledge in the minds of the audience, Freddy could have easily become one of the most complex and terrifying villains to ever hit the screen.

Unfortunately, this is also where the one liners start.  It’s a good film on its own, but when Freddy buried the head of a young aspiring actress in a TV screen and exclaimed “Welcome to prime time, bitch!”, things changed forever.  It was an ad-lib by Robert Englund, and it’s a good scene, but fans went nuts over it and the series spent three more movies chasing that moment with ever-diminishing returns.  Nobody could have known that it was the beginning of the end.  Everything else here is pretty great though.  There are a lot of great effects, particularly some stop-motion stuff with a Freddy puppet, and later with his skeletal remains, Jason and the Argonauts style.  There’s the giant Freddy worm, and an imaginative kill scene where Freddy walks a puppet enthusiast to his death, using his tendons like marionette strings.  Most of the kills in the film are “personalized”, with Freddy using the victims’ interests or weaknesses against them, instead of a generic stabbing, which is another good idea that gets out of hand as the series progresses.  Patricia Arquette turns in a good performance as Kristen Parker, the new heroine to who Nancy passes the torch, and when the movie comes to a close the viewer is left with a lot of hope for more interesting sequels from here on out.

Seven, Eight, Gonna Stay Up Late

A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988)

As you may have already guessed from the above image, we didn’t quite get the followups that we were hoping for.  Freddy’s fourth appearance was helmed by the president of the Renny Harlin Fan Club, Renny Harlin.  Harlin has said repeatedly in interviews that he sees Freddy as the “James Bond” of horror, a standpoint that I don’t even quite know how to process.  The power of Freddy as a character lay in the fact that he was an irredeemable and reprehensible killer with a twisted and traumatic origin.  He killed for the sake of killing, and often for revenge, but as the series progressed, he killed for comedy.  Scripts became increasingly fragmented as writers tried to cast Freddy as both the hero and the villain, succeeding in neither.  This installment isn’t without its redeeming qualities, but it represented a commitment to a lot of decisions from which the character would have a hard time coming back.

Kristen Parker makes a return from Dream Warriors, this time played by Tuesday Knight.  She’s joined by two other recurring characters from that film, Kincaid and Joey, as well as new heroine Alice Johnson (Lisa Wilcox), who is to become the eponymous “dream master”.  As her friends are killed off, Alice gains their skills and personality traits, eventually becoming a powerhouse capable of going toe to toe with Freddy himself.  It’s a cool concept, and the movie itself spends 90 minutes wavering between interesting and ridiculous.  There are some great effects showcasing the idea that Freddy is actually comprised of the souls of the people he’s killed, which writhe around in his torso like an entire family of Kuatos.  Then, there’s the scene where his victims are represented as meatballs on a pizza, which Freddy snacks on while making “soul food” puns.  The smart and thematic killings come to a screeching halt when he turns one girl into a bipedal cockroach and then crushes her inside a roach motel, seemingly just so he could use the well-worn “…but you can’t check out” tagline.  But then in a great climactic effects scene, Freddy’s torso passengers revolt and tear him apart from the inside, ending the series’ most uneven entry on a high note.

Nine, Ten, Never Sleep Again

  A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child (1989)

Continuing in the footsteps of the previous installment, The Dream Child was an absolute mess.  Directed by Stephen Hopkins, also known as the first person to prove that Predator could be awful, this is a film with little to no redeeming qualities.  It gets credit for at least carrying on the story, which elevates it slightly above Freddy’s Revenge, but not by much.  Alice Johnson returns from the last film, this time carrying the child of her boyfriend Dan, who is killed off early on when I guess Freddy turns into a motorcycle and then causes Dan to merge with the motorcycle in some sort of cheap HR Giger knockoff, at which point Dan plows the pickup truck he’s driving into a semi and goes up in a ball of flames.  Coherent!  Anyway, Freddy is now killing people via the dreams of Alice’s unborn child, and simultaneously sort of becoming that child?  I honestly don’t know.

In addition to the out of place motorcycle thing, “highlights” include Freddy killing a girl by force feeding her and making her face so fat that she dies, and also a comic book inspired showdown where “Super Freddy” chops up a guy made of paper.  Seriously, it’s an extended scene of him just chopping up paper with his glove.  There’s some expansion of the Amanda Krueger backstory which shows her actually giving birth to Freddy, but they even manage to ruin that.  You know what?  The more I think about it, the more I hate this one.  Maybe more than Freddy’s Revenge.  In the end, Alice and her dream baby (or dream toddler) team up against Freddy, with said toddler sort of becoming Freddy and using his own powers against him inside a giant MC Escher painting.  Then Amanda Krueger and Alice reabsorb their respective dream babies and all is well.  Sigh.

These captions were poorly planned

  Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991)

Directed by series-long production director/producer Rachel Talalay, Freddy’s Dead actually has a lot to love, despite containing what is possibly the worst scene in the entire franchise.  Perhaps realizing that their cash cow was close to dying of natural causes, New Line made the decision to kill off Freddy in his sixth appearance.  This film attempts to finish out the story arc of not only Freddy, but also of Springwood itself, and does so in a mind-blowing THREE dimensions.  That’s right, Freddy’s Dead was shot in 3D for whatever reason, which was marketed as “Freddy Vision” and actually worked into the story, albeit poorly.  The story begins with an unnamed teenager (Shon Greenblatt) having those old familiar nightmares, and winding up in a halfway house for delinquent kids.  Along with social worker Maggie Burroughs (Lisa Zane), this John Doe and a few others wind up in Springwood, long after the events of the previous films.  Freddy has finally succeeded in killing all of the town’s children, and the adults that remain just kind of wander around, having been driven insane.

It turns out that one of our heroes is actually Freddy’s child, and he’s lured them back to Springwood in an effort to escape the town himself and take his act nationwide.  As he says, “Every town has an Elm Street”.  The whole thing is actually a really cool premise, and with some better decision making it could have been a high water mark for the the series.  I love the childless, dilapidated Springwood, and I love how the town turns back in itself when a few of the halfway house kids try to leave.  Some of the best Freddy backstory is in this installment, and it’s cool to see Robert Englund playing the part in extended scenes without makeup.  Unfortunately there’s that whole scene where he kills a kid by playing a video game, complete with references to the Nintendo Power Glove, and the odd inclusion of 3D that doesn’t do much beyond hampering what they could do with the special effects and making a lot of things seem really confusing without the context of a theatrical viewing.  Despite the drawbacks though, I think this one’s pretty entertaining, and it’s as good a finale for the series as one could’ve hoped for given the circumstances.

The street I grew up on was adjacent to an Elm Street

New Nightmare (1994)

These days, more time often elapses between planned sequels than existed between the point that New Line made a conscious decision to kill off the character that made them a household name and the day they decided that they needed to bring him back.  Fortunately they did it right, bringing back Wes Craven as writer and director in the hopes of recapturing the magic of the first film.  Craven brought back Heather Langenkamp, as well as John Saxon (who played Nancy’s father in the first and third films), and of course Robert Englund who had never left.  This time though they all played themselves, as did Craven and Robert Shaye, producer of the of the entire franchise.  The concept was that Wes Craven was writing a new Nightmare script, and at the same time Heather and her son were beginning to have nightmares eerily reminiscent of the films she once starred in.  It was a clever deconstruction of the genre, two years before Craven himself rehashed it in Scream and everybody went “That’s brilliant and new!”.  In my opinion, New Nightmare did it better, and this is easily my second favorite film of the entire franchise.  It was an amazing turn of events, considering everything the series went through up until this point.

The events of this film start to echo the first, with John Saxon lapsing back into character and Robert Englund mysteriously leaving once Freddy enters the spotlight again.  There are a ton of callbacks to the original, including bit actors returning in new roles, and lines of dialogue that make a comeback in new situations.  And since this is the “real” Freddy, the actual nightmare upon which the films were supposedly based, the character is free from all the unfortunate baggage he picked up along the way.  The jokes and mugging for the camera are nowhere to be found, and Freddy is again the persistent and unstoppable force from the first film.  And obviously it’s all still a movie, but something about Heather Langenkamp playing herself makes it all the more disturbing when her child’s babysitter is murdered, dragged up the wall and across the ceiling just like Tina a decade earlier.  The “movie within a movie” magic just works here, and everything has an unsettling quality because of it.  This is the only time such a longstanding franchise has ever returned to form after falling so far, and I assure you that it’s worth sitting through the bad ones just to get to this point.

What’s in the booooxxxx?

So how’s the box set?

Retailing for $45, the Nightmare on Elm Street Collection includes five discs (even though it looks like four in their stock photo): four blu-rays and a DVD.  The whole package is barely bigger than a standard blu-ray case, and if all releases were this nicely streamlined, my movie storage concerns would come to an end.  The original film gets its own disc, the other six are paired off, and then there are some extra bonus features on the DVD, including a couple featurettes and two episodes of the 1988 television spinoff Freddy’s Nightmares.  As one might expect, the special features on the first film are the most generous.  There are two commentaries, a pop up trivia track (every movie should have this), a bunch of featurettes including the very interesting New Line history “The House that Freddy Built”, and 7.1 audio.  New Nightmare also has a commentary track, but the rest of the films all have a meager selection of featurettes, and the occasional related music video such as “Dream Warriors”, recorded by Dokken for the third film.  The back of the box makes the special features look pretty extensive for all the movies, but a lot of them are just brief excerpts from interviews, sometimes as short as 38 seconds, and rarely longer than a few minutes.

The DVD contains “Fear Himself: The Life and Crimes of Freddy Krueger”, a newer documentary on the character narrated by Robert Englund.  It’s good but disappointingly short at a half hour or so.  The best part of all the featurettes, especially the short ones on the “middle” films, is that everyone is unusually apologetic.  The people being interviewed seem to applaud the series in general but come across as let down by their own contributions, and the honesty is weirdly engaging.  The only person who seems unaware that the series ever faltered is Renny Harlin, who if nothing else is probably the most consistently optimistic filmmaker in Hollywood.

The selections from Freddy’s Nightmares are a nice inclusion, but again leave a little bit to be desired.  They inexplicably skip over the Tobe Hooper-directed pilot episode, one of the better entries in the series, and go right to episodes two and three, which are both pretty forgettable.  The third stars Lori Petty and is directed by Mick Garris, notable hanger-on and participation award recipient in the horror genre.  The series ran for three seasons and there was some cool stuff in there, hopefully they kept it lazy here in anticipation of the release of a series box set down the road, but I’m not holding my breath.

You are all my children…

So tired.

In the end, taking all the highs and lows into account, A Nightmare on Elm Street is a franchise worthy of a prominent place in horror movie history.  There were missteps along the way, but it began well and it ended well, which is more than can truthfully be said about any of its contemporaries.  At his best, Freddy Krueger is absolutely one of the screen’s greatest villains, and at its worst the franchise still brings some unexpectedly creative moments to the table, and will probably provide you with some good laughs as well.  For the effects enthusiast, the series is a time capsule of a decade’s worth of technological advances, and even when a setpiece didn’t exactly benefit the story they were usually showcasing something pretty cutting edge.  And regardless of whether the film at hand happens to feature scary Freddy or jokey Freddy, it’s always obvious that Robert Englund is completely into whatever he’s doing at the time, which is remarkable in and of itself considering how long he played the role.

The blu-ray collection is nice, and its special features are only disappointing due to how New Line chose to split them up in the menus and on the box.  If it had been presented more honestly, there’s really nothing wrong with the amount of extra stuff here, and really the only other stuff I’d ask for is the full interviews from which some of the short clips were taken.  The set doesn’t come with 3D glasses and even if you have your own there’s no option to watch Freddy’s Dead in its original 3D, but I skipped the DVD set which did include those things, so I’m not sure how well it worked and they might have dropped it for a reason.  Even setting everything else aside, it’s seven movies for $45, all with HD transfers ranging from decent to great.  So for the dedicated 80′s horror fan there’s really no reason not to pick this one up, I’m definitely glad I did.

We here at the Bloodsprayer are proud (and for those of us that don’t own it yet envious) to be giving away 2 copies of the highly anticipated Excision from Anchor Bay Entertainment  The contest will run until next Friday, October 19th at midnight.  Winning is easy, just leave us a name, a valid email address, and answer my way too easy question below.  Contest is only available to those of you in the USA, and unfortunately no PO Boxes.  Below is a reprint of the press release, and trailer for those of you that haven’t heard of this delicious piece of horror goodness.  Good luck to all!!

What is your favorite movie to watch on Halloween?

ANCHOR BAY FILMS PRESENTS ONE OF THE MOST UNNERVING PSYCHOLOGICAL HORROR FILMS OF THE YEAR WITH EXCISION

Starring AnnaLynne McCord, Traci Lords, Ariel Winter, Roger Bart, with performances by Jeremy Sumpter, Matthew Gray Gubler, Ray Wise, John Waters, Golden Globe® nominated Malcolm McDowell, and Academy Award® Winner Marlee Matlin.

Comes to Blu-ray™ and DVD October 16th.

Anchor Bay Films presents the harrowing coming-of-age horror film, and instant cult classic, EXCISION, from writer/director Richard Bates, Jr., which Sundance Channel deemed “Without question the most mind-blowingly grotesque film to screen at this year’s fest.” EXCISION boasts an impressive and eclectic cast including AnnaLynne McCord (The CW’s “90210,” Transporter 2, Fired Up, FX’s “Nip Tuck”), Traci Lords (Blade, Zack & Miri Make a Porno, Cry Baby), Ariel Winter (ABC’s “Modern Family”), Roger Bart (Hostel Part II, Law Abiding Citizen, American Gangster), Malcolm McDowell (The Artist, A Clockwork Orange, Rob Zombie’s Halloween, HBO’s “Entourage”) and cameos including Ray Wise, director John Waters, and Academy Award® winner Marlee Matlin.

Based on writer/director Richard Bates, Jr.’s short film of the same name, EXCISION follows a disturbed and delusional high school student, Pauline (AnnaLynne McCord). Pauline, with aspirations of a career in medicine, goes to extremes to earn the approval of her controlling mother (played by Traci Lords). While dealing with both being an outcast teenager and having an obsession over curing her sister’s cystic fibrosis, Pauline becomes increasingly deranged as her fascination with surgery and flesh and blood grows into something compulsive and demonic, if not epic.

It’s new release day in the US, and out on shelves today on DVD and Blu-ray is The Barrens, from Anchor Bay Entertainment.  The Barrens is based on the Jersey Devil, one of America’s oldest ghost stories that also happens to be the inspiration for my favorite sports team name (New Jersey Devils).  Not that that will cloud my opinion in any way.

The Barrens is the tale of the Vineyard family.  Richard (Stephen Moyer) wants to take his family camping in the Pine Barrens of New Jersey so he can spread his father’s ashes in the river where they used to camp and fish.  Unfortunately for Richard, nobody else in the family has the same interest in a camping trip, but they reluctantly go along.  Once at the Barrens, Richard is once again disappointed to see that the clientele isn’t like what he remembered.  Instead of family’s camping, the place is overrun with college kids drinking and using all types of electronic devices.  Richard does what any good father would do, and he bans phone usage from his own family.

That night at the campfire, one of the college kids tells the story of the Jersey Devil, the local urban legend that is rumored to still be haunting The Barrens.  After scaring the crap out of his young son, Richard flips out on the college kids.  The next morning, Richard decides to take his family off the beaten path and camp deeper into the woods.  However along the way, the family stumbles upon an animal torn to shreds, an abandoned campsite, and the body of one of the college students.  Meanwhile Richard begins to start flipping out on everybody.  Has the Jersey Devil returned to claim new victims, or is Richard losing his mind?

The Barrens is a movie suffering from multiple personality disorder.  It can’t seem to decide if it wants to be a psychological thriller or a creature feature.  While the mystery is originally intriguing, it’s lack of direction causes the final payout to feel cheap and rushed.  It’s too bad, because I would consider myself a fan of director Darren Lynn Bousman’s work, but the Barrens just didn’t click with me.  By the time the movie was over, it felt forgettable and very blah.

I do have to commend Bousman on the look of The Barrens.  He does a good job making the woods feel as isolated and creepy as they would be to city folk (like myself).  Also the blood and gore effects used are as usual extremely well done, especially the animal carcasses.  It would also be wrong to not commend Stephen Moyer on a fantastic job carrying the bulk of the film squarely on his shoulders.  While the rest of his family is a stereotypical horror movie family (2nd wife, mouthy teenage daughter, and a way too sweet young son) his portrayal of Richard is the only one to truly stand out.

I’m not going to lie, you could do worse than The Barrens, but you could also do a lot better.  The tale of the Jersey Devil can’t decide exactly what type of movie it wants to be, and falls short of succeeding as both a psychological thriller or a creature feature.

Hello again, Brothers and Sisters of the Psychotronic Video World! Last night I got home from my very first excursion west to visit Cinema Wasteland, the One True Official Convention of the Blood Sprayer. And I tell you what, it will not be my last. This was absolutely the most fun I’ve ever had at any convention I’ve ever been to, and I crammed more action into 12 hours on Saturday then I’ve experienced in 48 at certain other cons. Let me break this weekend down for ya…as much of it as I can remember, at least.

Friday afternoon, I leave work early, load up my car, and drive down from my home town in Buffalo, New York to Cleveland, then past Cleveland to Elyria, where I met up with our very own Zach Schildwachter.  It’s been absolutely ages since he and I had gotten the opportunity to hang out in person, and after a quick dinner at the Chinese place across the street from his house (which is itself right next to a mortuary and crematorium…if you’re standing in Zach’s yard and smell delicious barbeque, you’re wrong), we went back to his place for a night of trashy films and alcohol consumption before we’d hit the con on Saturday (I’d had to make this a relatively cheap trip, so no hotel room for me this time).

After a few beers, Zach decided to upgrade, and made a delicious concoction of vodka, cherry limeade and cherry brandy for me.  He claims I consumed three of these, though I only remember two of them.  What I do remember is that I spent Saturday morning being a vomit-breathing dragon.

So on Saturday, once my stomach has settled and we’ve had breakfast, we load up his Rape Van and hit the road — it’s about a thirty-minute drive, and the moment I set foot in the door (having already run into Sean and George from VHSPS in the parking lot, the rascals) and the scent of Horror Con — sweat, alcohol, latex, and fear — fills my nostrils…it’s like I’ve come home.  It’s been far too long since I’ve been to a horror con, and I don’t intend to go that long without one again.

Making the rounds, swag quickly began to leap into my arms as money just as quickly jumped out of my wallet, including an immediate deposit of $100 in the hands of Chris Seaver and the gang from Warlock Home Video (including my old pal, that Werewolf of the Comic Book Shop, Bill Weird, whom I have not seen in entirely too long) in exchange for a membership subscription to Warlock.

I was not one to skimp on the autographs either — first up was adult industry superstar Sharon Mitchell, and let me just say it’s been a long time since I’ve felt that weak in the knees meeting a convention guest.  This lascivious lady was an absolute treat to talk to, with a wit like a razorblade and a tremendous amount of heart.

It was almost solemn greeting Bert I. Gordon, and thanking him for the films that filled my childhood — EARTH VS. THE SPIDER, THE BEGINNING OF THE END, THE AMAZING COLOSSAL MAN — which, in all truthfulness, played a significant part in the formation of the horror fan I am today.  He was genuinely touched by all this.

Michelle Bauer and Linnea Quigley were, as befitting their titles, a scream — I’d met Linnea before briefly, but this time I was armed with a poster for my absolute favorite piece of ’80s cheese.  That’s right, you criminal perverts, I had a poster for SORORITY BABES IN THE SLIMEBALL BOWL-O-RAMA.  Both women were absolutely tickled by the fact that I’d brought this, instead of something from, say, HOLLYWOOD CHAINSAW HOOKERS, and both agreed with me on how much fun SORORITY BABES is.

Zach and I had a late lunch (around 3:45/4:00) at the bar, and holy cow, the burger I ate made me realize why cows are sacred.  Just melt in my mouth beefy perfection.

After this, we hit up a panel discussion headed by Sharon Mitchell and that towering figure, bestriding the world of grindhouse sleaze like a colossus, 42nd Street Pete.  They got Sharon reminiscing about her time in the industry, speaking fondly of her early days in porn (often accompanied by pantomimed actions!), of John Holmes and Gerard Damiano, and her more recent work as a civil rights and free-speech campaigner.  Some highlights included her description of Holmes as “a big warm squishy sponge,” the story of being arrested for straddling one of the cement lions outside the New York Public Library in the nude, and her beating a different obscenity charge on the grounds that the arresting officer was unable to identify her gender.  This was Sharon’s first Cinema Wasteland, and hopefully not her last.

We met with Tom Sullivan, who is always on the guest list for his work with the EVIL DEAD franchise — I was stunned to discover he’d also done many of the covers, and a great deal of interior art, for the Call of Cthulhu Roleplaying Game, which I’ve been playing and taking a great deal of enjoyment from for years.  Tom is a great guy, and was very appreciative as I gushed my own appreciation for his artwork, walking away with three signed art prints — the covers from the Seed of Azathoth campaign and the Terror from the Stars linked adventures, as well as a painting of the photophobic, hopping Ghasts, which had been published in Sandy Peterson’s Field Guide to the Cthulhu Mythos.  I spent my last $25 in this room, and I just have to say I’m glad I found this room last, otherwise I would have gone wild and spent every penny I had on tentacled artwork.

After this, we ran into the Bloodsprayer’s own Matt Pocock, who lured us into a screening of MACON COUNTY LINE.  This film…it starts off resembling a wacky redneck hicksploitation comedy, and then it takes a hard left turn into CAPE FEAR country.  I’m not going to spoil it for you, SEE THIS MOVIE!

Not long after that, the annual Night at the Movies with A. Ghastlee Ghoul and 42nd Street Pete began, where yours truly distinguished himself in a trivia contest, deftly answering questions on Bert Gordon, recent celebrity deaths, Bo Hopkins and sexual deviancy — I got as many wrong as I got right, but I still managed to come out on top with 12 questions correct (the other two contestants managed 10 correct answers and 9), garnering me free passes to the April show. I was dubbed “Buffalo Bill” by the host and quickly developed a pretty dedicated cheering section among the drunken maniacs in the audience.

This was followed by a variety of games, including Boobs or Buttcrack and a pinata game that involved swinging a cricket bat towards the audience, and which resulted in a shower of condoms from the ruptured paper mache skull.

Also during this event was a comedy sketch from Tom Sullivan, in which a Presidential debate was held between Cthulhu and Moloch, the All-Seeing Eye on the back of the dollar.  In all truthfulness, this event fell a little flat — the performers stuck too closely to the script, and the Moloch mask was especially muffling of Tom Sullivan’s voice.

After this, Zach and I swung by the bar, where we encountered Lost Highway’s ace reporter, Die-Anne Takillya, with whom we ended up chatting with, swapping cannibal jokes and drink recommendations.  She schooled us on the history of Mountain Dew and the glories of Tennessee whiskey, as well as supplying us with the most glorious nectar ever poured into a shot-glass…the Bacon Shot.  I found God at the bottom of that shot glass.

Finally, as the night wore on and the liquor weighed ever heavier on our livers, Zach and I said our good-byes and piled back into his Van, returned to his house and finished off the night with a screening of SEXSQUATCH.  After this, we were dead to the world until almost noon on Sunday.  With many a manly bro-grab (none of that sissy hugging for us), Zach and I parted ways, and I made the trip home to Buffalo.

This was my first Wasteland.  It will not be my last.

Hello Again, Brothers and Sisters of the Psychotronic Video World! I come bearing the second half of my recent interview with Bob Rosen, author of Beaver Street: A History of Modern Pornography.  If you missed Part 1, here it is.

You spent ten years researching Beaver Street. What was the most challenging aspect of researching a history of porn?

It was more like six or seven years that I spent researching and writing Beaver Street, and then another two years looking for a publisher. The reason I called it a history rather than the history, and limited it mostly to modern porn, is because if I were to write the entire history of pornography, I’d still be working on the book, and it would probably weigh in at about six volumes. It would be like Robert Caro’s Lyndon Johnson bio, which is already four volumes and still incomplete.

The two most difficult parts of researching Beaver Street were the story of Traci Lords and the Meese Commission on Pornography, and the history of Swank Publications. There’s just so much information out there on Meese and the scandal of Lords being underage for her entire porn career that it took me about a year to absorb it all, separate what was important from what wasn’t important, figure out what was true and what wasn’t true, and then incorporate it all into my narrative in a way that’s both accurate and entertaining. This was further complicated by the fact that Lords’ memoir—and any interviews with her—was no help at all. She did everything possible to obscure the truth. I say in Beaver Street that in the 60-odd pages she devotes to porn in her book, in virtually every case she leaves out the Five Ws—who, what, where, when, and why—saying she was drunk and stoned the whole time and forgot everything that happened.

Ironically, one of the reasons I chose to tell this story is because I witnessed it first-hand and thought I wouldn’t have to do a lot of research. But when I started writing it, I realized that I couldn’t answer some very basic questions, like: Why did this happen and where is this coming from? I ended up tracing the Lords debacle back to prehistoric cave paintings, but for practical reasons I began the story with Thomas Edison’s invention of the movie camera. (I put the cave paintings in the appendix.)

I had a similar problem untangling the history of Swank Publications. The porn company that exists today grew out of a group of comic-book publishing companies, the best known of which was Marvel Comics, and a group of magazine-publishing companies whose best-known titles were Swank and Stag, and which were originally men’s adventure mags, not porn. These companies were founded by Martin Goodman, and from 1932 to 1972 they operated out of the same office.

Dozens of books have been written about the history of Marvel Comics. Same with the men’s adventure mags, though they’re generally treated as a separate entity from Marvel. But the story becomes murky after 1972. That’s when Martin Goodman retired, Marvel continued as the company we know today, and Martin Goodman’s son Chip, whom I worked for, acquired all his father’s old men’s titles and converted them to porn mags. Until recently, there was next to nothing on the record that indicated that Chip was Martin Goodman’s son or that there was any connection between Chip’s porn titles and Martin’s adventure titles. Reading the historical record, you’d get the impression that the men’s adventure mags died off after ’72 and that was the end of them. You’d never know that Chip reincarnated them as smut. Apparently, the Goodman family took pains to obscure the connection, and I spent the better part of a year poking around in this historical black hole, trying to figure out exactly what happened. And the job was made even more complicated by the fact that Swank Publications seemed to change its name every five minutes.

When I was working at Swank, nobody ever spoke openly of the company’s history. If you told the creative director, who’d also worked for Martin Goodman, that you were thinking of running a comic strip in one of the porn mags, he might say something like, “Good idea. Chip really likes comics.” But that’s all he’d say. Or you might overhear one of the other old-timers tell a story about coming into work one morning to find Mario Puzo collapsed at his desk over an empty pizza box. I mean this is where Puzo was cranking out pulp fiction for the men’s mags as he was writing The Godfather. And this is where Stan Lee created Spider-Man and the Fantastic Four. A normal company would have put their typewriters in a glass case and employees would have been required to genuflect every time they walked by. But at Swank, it appeared as if the Goodman family didn’t want Martin Goodman’s sacred name sullied by the stench of his son’s smut.

Porn has been called misogynistic. Based on your experiences in the industry, do you think this is a fair assessment? From reading your recollections in Beaver Street, I can’t help but think that misanthropic might be a more accurate descriptor.

There are people in the porn industry whom these words could be applied to—no question. You look at some of the “gonzo” pornos being shot today, which seem to be more about degrading women than creating something erotic, and you’re not going to come away with a good impression of the porn biz. There are writers, like Gail Dines, who’ve built careers on criticizing these videos, because they are both misogynistic and misanthropic.

Beaver Street itself is neither. It contains a number of strong women characters: Pam Katz, Maria Bellanari, Sonja Wagner, Annie Sprinkle, Georgina Kelly. Some of them have achieved positions of authority in the porn industry. This surprises a lot of readers. They’re shocked to find out that there are women working behind the camera. I’d go so far as to argue that Beaver Street is a feminist book.

But the book also contains misogynistic characters, like Chip Goodman. In one scene, Pam Katz is telling me how Chip squeezed her breasts in front of the executive committee, and later in that scene, Chip asks her, “Pam, have your tits gotten bigger?” But ultimately Chip treated all his pornographers with contempt, not just the women, though perhaps he treated women somewhat worse than men. Apparently, though, he doted on his family. Same with Lou Perretta, the current owner of Swank, who Pam Katz (her real name is Joyce Snyder) is suing for age and sex discrimination. Perretta, too, treats his employees with utter contempt, but he dotes upon his four sons and his grandchildren, or so I’m told. So, I guess that makes them situational misogynists or misanthropes. Or to put another way, they’re rich creeps who care about nobody outside their families and are only motivated by maximizing profits. They’re people who’ve never worked in a place where they weren’t the boss or the boss’s son, and it begrudges them to have to pay a living wage. Working for these guys would be like working for Mitt Romney if he were a pornographer. Perretta is, in fact, a Republican who gives money to the RNC and to Tea Party candidates, like Scott Garrett, of New Jersey, who may be the most ultraconservative congressman in America.

With catastrophic events such as the Traci Lords scandal, AIDS outbreaks within the industry, and the exponential expansion of amateurs making porn at home, what keeps the porn industry from collapsing?

The porn industry has been in a state of collapse since about 1995. Magazines are on life support. Everybody whom I worked with in the 80s and 90s has either been downsized or, if they’re freelance, cut back to nothing. The big video companies are either dead or struggling to stay in business. Everything’s available for free on the Internet, if you know where to look and you have the patience to look for it. The questions that nobody can answer are: How do you sell something when the competition is giving it away? And how do professionals compete with amateurs who are doing porn for the sheer joy of exhibitionism? You can’t, and that’s the problem. You can still make money doing live Internet sex shows or going on tour as a “featured dancer” or by being a “superstar” like Christy Canyon and selling your used bras on your website. But these are the exceptions to the rule. The bottom line is, any exhibitionist with a cheap digital camera, an Internet connection, and a willing partner can be a porn star today if they want to, and if you browse through sites like Youporn or Pornhub, you can see that there are thousands of people taking advantage of this opportunity. The amateur exhibitionists are putting the professional studs and starlets out of business.

Do you think the amateur home-porn scene will eclipse and out-compete the “professional” porn industry? Or has it already?

I think it already has. (See above.)

The porn industry seems very homogenized and rigidly formulaic these days…all the actresses look the same, every video seems like the same five acts performed in the same order, even the titles have become utterly bland. “The Taming of Rebecca” and “New Wave Hookers” have given way to “Barely-Legal Blondes #257.” Is the industry stagnating, creatively? And is this a product of the Internet Era, or does this date back to pre-Internet?

The industry has been stagnating creatively since the mid-90s, when everything became an assembly line in hyperdrive. In my own case, I trace this back to when Chip Goodman sold all his porn titles to Lou Perretta, at the end of 1992. I say in Beaver Street, “Producing magazines had become a strictly mechanical process, with all thought and emotion squeezed out by economic necessity.” With Perretta, I was doing more than a hundred magazines a year—two a week. There was no time to think. Everything had to be formatted—same thing issue after issue. I was working on autopilot. I describe creating porn as an “exercise in postmodern sweatshop drudgery.” And the more sales plummeted, the faster I had to crank and the less money I had to crank with. They kept cutting my budget, and I had to keep cutting the amount I was paying photographers and writers. Same thing with videos. As technology advanced, more and more people were cranking out more and more videos for less and less money. In 1999, 11,000 professional porn videos were produced. That’s 30 new videos per day. Now, with the amateurs, I’m sure that number has increased a hundredfold. And from what I’ve seen, they’re mostly badly shot, badly lit—a collection of studs wired on Viagra coupling with women who are clearly not experiencing pleasure. Everybody looks like they’re working. It’s anti-erotic, anti-creative.

It seems like magazines such as High Society and Swank were “across the board” magazines, catering to a variety of tastes – a BDSM spread here, incest fiction there, sodomy pictorial there. Today, porn is extremely categorized; this website for interracial, that website for orgies, that website for women wearing nylons in the swimming pool, etc. Is this a product of the Internet Era, or was this categorization taking place during your time with the industry as well?

This has been taking place since before I began working in porn. There were always niche mags like D-Cup, Blondes in Heat, Shaved, Black Lust, Plump & Pink—and those are only the titles Swank published. The trend accelerated as time went along—more and more magazine filling smaller and smaller niches. Then the Internet kicked in, and now if you have any fetish or kink, no matter how outlandish or offbeat or specific, there are a thousand websites out there waiting to cater to you.

Was writing Beaver Street an act of catharsis in regards to your time in the industry?

I say in the prologue that I wrote the book “to understand the cumulative psychic effect of having spent 192 months immersed in XXX and wondering if I’d ever get out alive.” So, yes, it was cathartic, in part. But it was also an intellectual exercise. I knew that I’d witnessed something strange and complex that I didn’t fully understand. That was where the research came in. In Beaver Street, I wanted to show the political and social history of the late 20th century through a pornographic lens. That’s why I call it an investigative memoir.

If you could go back and give your 30-year old self one piece of advice, what would it be?

“Don’t put your 401(k) in mutual funds.” Aside from that, I don’t know what I could have done differently. Most of the situations I was faced with, I had very little choice in what to do if I wanted to keep my job. On one hand, I could have warned myself about the fallout from posing for a porn shoot—the “$5 Blowjob” experiment. But I wouldn’t have said, “Don’t do it.” I’d have said, “Just be aware of what you’re in for.” But if I’d told myself that, maybe I wouldn’t have experienced it the same way, and it wouldn’t have been as good a story. Or I could have told myself not to get involved with the person I call Georgina Kelly, because it’s going to be nothing but aggravation, insanity, and turmoil. But her character adds so much to the book—it’s a better book because of what I learned from her. She took me deep inside a world that I’d never have known quite that intimately. So I probably wouldn’t tell myself that, either. As I said before, I wanted to experience everything and write about everything. That kind of attitude is going to lead you into relationships with some very crazy people.

What comes next? Do you have any other projects planned?

I’ve been working on a novel, kind of a combination of black humor and historical fiction. I call it Bobby in Naziland and it’s about a Jewish kid growing up in Brooklyn in the 1950s and 60s where, to quote from the book, “World War II lingered like a mass hallucination on East 17th Street and large swaths of the surrounding borough.” I’m going to work on it now, while I still have some energy left.

Thanks Bob! Good luck with the novel.  As for the rest of you criminal perverts reading this…seriously, go check out Beaver Street: A History of Modern Pornography.  You won’t regret it!

Terminal illness is a very real horror in everybody’s life.  Very few people are lucky enough not have a friend or family member who has struggled with cancer or heart disease or some other untreatable ailment.  Cell Count tries to tap into those emotions and asks the question, “What happens when the cure is worse than the disease?”

Russell Carpenter (Robert McKeehen) is a loving husband whose wife Sadie (Haley Talbot) is in the final stages of an unnamed terminal disease.  Dr. Victor Brandt (Christopher Toyne) mentions to Russell that there is nothing more that he can do for her in the hospital, but there is a government facility that is working on an experimental cure.  The only catch is that he would also need to be a part of the experiment.

We then skip ahead three weeks, when Russell wakes to find himself in what looks like a prison, only the cells are unlocked.  In the common room he notices that there are five others with him, one being Sadie who looks healthy!  However, things aren’t exactly what they seem.  Our volunteers find out they are being “quarantined from the general populous” and some begin to have strange (and I mean really strange) side effects.  Then the shit really gets real!!

I really wanna get more in depth in the synopsis, but that would just ruin a couple of fantastic surprises that writer/directer Todd E. Freeman has in store for you in Cell Count.  The story is a simple premise, but one that easily makes us feel sympathy for the cast (something that is sorely missing in a lot of horror movies).  Also worth noting, Cell Count looks phenomenal!  The movie looks like a major studio film, not a self produced independent movie.  The lighting and camera work are both top notch.  The acting and special effects are also well above average for a lower budgeted flick.  Blending equal parts science fiction with horror, Cell Count is the perfect recipe for what ails you!

My only complaint would be that when the movie was over, I felt like it had delivered more questions than answers. True, I’m a little simple minded, and honestly am not the biggest science fiction fan.  However, I’m hopeful that someday we’ll be delivered a sequel (or continuation based on the ending) that will help fill in the blanks.

Regardless of my nitpicking, Cell Count is one of the better independent horror films I’ve seen this year!   Look for Cell Count to be unleashed on the masses digitally on November 13th through itunes, Amazon, You Tube, PS3 Network, XBox Live, vudu, and cinemanow.  You have no excuse!  And as always, support independent horror cinema!