Warlock Home Video has a fascinating back story. Depending on who you ask, determines which tale you’re told. Is it a resurrected shot-on-video company from the 80’s schlock heyday (which is the real story. I can tell you this with a great deal of confidence)? Or is it the brain child of former LBP head honcho Chris Seaver and his cohort Andrew Baltes? No matter which version you know, one thing is for certain: Warlock’s output will take you back to your youth, when sleepover flicks consisted of the sleaziest looking box you could find at the video store. Previous releases (including Happy Helladays and Die-B-Que) have conjured up all kinds of emotions for this ol’ pervert. Laughter, tears, fear, erections…the whole gamut is run whilst watching the Warlock’s offering. I was overjoyed when a little birdie whispered in my ear that I could catch an advanced screening of Warlock’s latest Tour De Filth, Sexquatch. So, with a boner in one hand and a Toblerone in the other, I sat down to absorb all the magical visuals Sexquatch had to offer.
Sexquatch is a romantic tale of summer’s great hope. A group of friends head off for a beach house weekend. Partying, of course, is their number one priority. But, there’s so much more to it. Joey Jeremiah (played by Sean VHSPS) is the one member of this group with the highest of high ambitions. He wants to be the president of show business. Trouble with that is, he’s spent so much time focusing on scripts and dreams that he’s completely neglected having ever gotten laid!!!! As any great group of friends would, his have gathered for a weekend dedicated to getting Joey some much needed action. In the midst of all the shenanigans, a storm is brewing. A storm the likes of which these unsuspecting young folks have never seen. The scenic wooded area that plays host to their good times also houses a sinister beast. He’s blood thirsty, intelligent, eloquent, covered in hair, and horny as shit. NO, I’m not talking about Ron Jeremy. I’m talking about that vicious Beast from the East, Stinkfist: The Sexquatch.
One by one, this gang who’s only goal was looking for kicks, becomes victim of the sexquatch’s particularly brutal style of wreckage. Bodies begin dropping at an incredible and bloody rate while the time begins running out on Joey’s sex trip. Will they stop this vile beast from killing again? Will they survive and what will be left of them? Will their be any donuts?? All questions posed in Sexquatch…
If you fancy yourself a lover of trashy cinema, consider yourself the newest fan of Sexquatch and the Warlock Home Video catalog. Sexquatch delivers on all fronts. It covers the many bases necessary to cover in a film of this nature. You have over-the-top performances, blatant sexuality running throughout, gross out-styled kills, belly laughs at every turn, and a memorable creature who needs sequels and merchandising deals NOW. Quite simply, Sexquatch is the type of movie that reminds me why I love sleazy cinema.
Writer/director Chris Seaver has mastered the art of creating memorable (albeit ridiculous) characters. Throughout his film career, he’s concocted these otherworldly beings who have a language and style all their own. The characters in Sexquatch, and more importantly Stinkfist, are no different. While some familiar faces do pop up (Josh Suire’s AMAZING redneck fuck god, Leo DeChampa), the new faces take their star turn as well. It’s almost as if these people with natural comedic timing/ability just gravitate towards Chris Seaver. Even the freshest of faces i.e., one I’ve never seen in one of his movies, just know what to do. This quality has always lead me to comparing Seaver to John Waters. Chris is one of those guys-he has a style all his own and when you’re in the midst of it, you adhere to it. I speak with personal experience having been in 2 of his movies. It’s an incredible thing to witness. That’s not to say these people aren’t talented all on their own-trust me, they are! Josh Suire and Andrew Baltes are Seaver’s Larry & Curly to his Moe. They are so in tune with how he writes, that they can tackle characters in one of his scripts with the ease of a couple of old pros. Not to mention, they’re both naturally funny people. They don’t have to put a ton of effort into making you laugh because they just ARE funny. Same can be said for the rest of the cast. The man behind the fur, Rod Bollo Skin, has found himself the role he was “meant to play”, so to speak. Again, a naturally funny person who was able to take on a character that is so absurd the wrong guy would’ve botched it. Rod was the right guy to play Stinkfist. I look forward to hearing his regal voice for sequels to come. The rest of the gang are no slouches either. Lance & Lucas (actors Alec Lambert & Clint Kelly, who also served as cinematographer), Joey’s mom Muffy (returning Warlocker Jaime Osborne), Jennifer (Seaver veteran Heather Maxon), and Mudhoney (played by my buddy, Varla Darling! Nepotism in 3…2…)all come with game faces on ready to kick asses back into their seats. And of course, I would be remiss if I left out Crystal who is played masterfully by Christy Kassler. Not unlike Suire and Baltes, Christy just gets what Chris does. She’s a natural who will (I’m sure) continue popping up in Warlock flicks. Hell, I loved this movie so much that I look forward to ALL these people showing back up!! That’s the beauty of these movies, too. You’re not working with a multi-million dollar budget, so you’re relying on natural abilities. For Sexquatch’s cast, they had it to spare. Every single actor puts forth more than enough charisma. In fact, this ensemble seems to have a profound understanding that the movie’s effectiveness rests on their shoulders. Without batting an eye, they all enter frame with an impressive level of confidence that sets the acting in Warlock video apart from a lot of micro-budget film.
Technically speaking, Sexquatch looks better than some of Seaver’s previous effort. While Warlock’s specialty is unearthing lost SOV gems, Sexquatch was a new idea. It was shot on 1080p and will translate nicely to disc for you perspective customers. The shooting isn’t overly technical and really, why should it be? This movie is about capturing great performances, not face humping you with CGI uber-effects. The 1080p really allows you to access all the little nuances of background acting that always goes on in Chris Seaver’s movies (truth be told, it’s one of my favorite things about his movies). The costumes reflect the characters’ absurd personalities and Stinkfist’s make-up (done by Varla Darling) is actually really cool considering the budgetary restraints. Overall, Sexquatch is a dirty-minded horror comedy that has cult classic written all over it. Warlock Home Video may have officially struck gold in their line-up, Sexquatch be thy name.
At this moment, the folks at Warlock are prepping to shoot a sequel to Sexquatch called, well…Sexquatch 2, duh! But here’s the catch: They’re asking for your help. Follow the link here to find out the details. You will be rewarded for helping them raise the funds. It’s a mere $6000 they’re looking to raise. To give fans the best possible movie, this will be the amount needed. So, click on that link and find out how you can help.
We’ve stated in the past that The Blood Sprayer does get behind our friends projects. Warlock are our friends, obviously. This goes deeper than that. We also respect what they do as artists. This is a group of people with a passion to make movies that they would want to watch as fans. Naturally,as horror fans ourselves, we do want independent companies such as this to succeed. It’s the lifeblood of horror. If you feel so inclined, please check out Warlock’s website, pick up some of their movies, and throw a few bucks their way. This sort of thing keeps the machine moving…and dammit if we don’t all love that machine! SUPPORT INDEPENDENT CINEMA!!!
Sidenote: I want to address one last thing. There is a character in this film named Marmalade, portrayed by actress Amber Snook. I don’t want to give away too much, so I didn’t go into detail on her. I’ll say this: She’s goddamn magic. I’m talking Edith the Egg Lady magic. You’ll see when you watch Sexquatch…well done, Amber.
Tags: Andrew Baltes, bill thomas, Blood Sprayer Exclusive, Chris Seaver, edith the egg lady, gross out, Horror, horror-comedy, independent cinema, John Waters, Josh Suire, LBP, Sexquatch, The Blood Sprayer, Warlock Home Video